The funeral has begun. You are all invited to attend the wake

[elizabeth]

I am just wondering if perhaps the Koi might be happier in a kiddie pool, in Mr. Beezer's Mother's room. Beezer could go in in the morning and chat up Mr. Beezer's Mother. They could have coffee together as Beezer fed the Koi. . . . It would be lovely, really.

[wtywmn4]

Maui Jim's wrapped around wty's head, she teases rusty. How bout a frosty gatorade maragrita? Hmmm, you could get two birds with one stone on that puppy. Boy, the sun feels sooooo good. A little tan line, au naturale. Elizabeth could you pass the lotion please. Promise not to get any sand in it. Listening to the surf, all things just drift away. Except for coreene's loud giggles from behind the life guard stand! Coreene, we need some munchies, please. Don't distract them all. Mr Beezer's mother with a Koi pond in her room, interesting picture. One can just see her sipping her morning coffee, feeding the koi. Ringing a little bell for breakfast.

[elizabeth]

ahhhhh, wty, I share your vision. lovely. just lovely.

And the little bell in Mr. Beezer's Mother's room is a nice touch. It will keep Beezer and Mr. Beezer's Mother in constant contact. <<tinkle, tinkle. Beezer, i need some orange juice>>

Is that my cell phone ringing? Jerry Springer was going to call me about scheduling Rocky to juggle knives on his show. Then Jerry got word about Coreene and the life guards. Or the parking valets. Or the QVC producer. I can't remember. . . .

[rusty]

One gatorade Margaritas coming up.

[Merry]

"Alas," Merry says, "I hate to tell you all, but I've sacrificed the last of the koi already. I filleted them and made them into carp jerky."

Merry notices the looks of utter astonishment and revulsion on her comrades' faces. "Hey, look, at least this way we can still enjoy the koi long after they're gone. I mean, during 4th of July celebrations we can be chawing on some carp jerky, savoring its salty crunchiness, while oohing and ahhing at the fireworks." /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Hey, I needed my arena back, okay? /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

[wtywmn4]

Merry, oh Merry how could you? Wty drops her head, shaking it slowly side to side. Those poor carp, fileted into jerky? How can any one of us eat that knowing what we do! Heaving a big sigh, she turns to elizabeth. "Where did we go wrong", she mouths. elizabeth is now in a full blown discussion with Jerry Springers manager concerning details of the soon airing show. "No, no!" says elizabeth into her cell, ugh she whispers, he wants us to bring on the terristas & lab. This will not do! Knowing full well, what kind of a debacle this could be. rusty, as if on cue, pops up with 8 glasses of frosty gatorade margaritas. A/A, whose injuries are beginning to burn from the sun, rolls under the shaded side of Merry & Beezer's renowned, "easy to install, collapses to pack" gazebo/tent thing. Interestingly enough, it only took 3 hours, and 8 people to put it up this time. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[rusty]

I think we need more Margaritas, since the thread has fallen to page 2.
After all we were all out enjoying the 85 degree weather and riding our horses.

I was talking to my boss today and he said it was 1 and snowing at home in Alberta, poor Canadians.

[weeble]

I was a little slow with the takeout, seems they couldn't cook because of the bleepin' rolling blackouts! Lucky for us it was a bright, beautiful, sunny day. Hear that, Canadians? I know you're here reading. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Anyway, it would seem that while we toast on the beach (don't need power for that) and enjoy our food and margaritas we should be able to figure out a way to get some of our necessary power from up north, like, just over the border.

Rusty, pass over one of those margaritas. Wty, don't hog all the lotion and Merry, open up the bag with all the plastic silverware so we can dig in. By the way, the extra bag is for Rocky and the JRT's.

[elizabeth]

I'm with you, weeble. who REALLY needs power when we've got sun and sand and margaritas and koi jerky?

and we've got cool evenings down here in santa monica, too, so we can stroll along the coast line in a sweatshirt if we want. of course, i guess the canadians can do the same. . . if they've got three turtlenecks, long underwear, snow pants, and a down jacket on!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Merry]

Merry passes around the plastic silverware. She dishes out what looks like tuna salad on wheat bread, but Beezer looks askance at it.

"Is this tuna... or is it koi?" Beezer inquires. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

"Hey, eat it and shut up," Merry snaps. "You oughta be happy that we're getting our arena back. Me..." Merry says bitterly, "I had to fork out thousands for those darn decorative koi. Now that their time on this earth is over, they can be useful as well as ornamental. Now, everyone, eat up! No one had better taste that take-out stuff unless they're washing it down with my sandwiches!" /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

... Fortunately, while caught up in her tirade, Merry doesn't notice that rusty has handed off her koi-salad sandwich to the crazed Labrador, who drops his plastic knife and scarfs down the sandwich... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[elizabeth]

elizabeth surreptitiously takes rocky's knife. Rocky looks up, shocked. elizabeth can tell he is thinking "SHOOT!!"

she jangles her curb chain bracelet mockingly and mouths "Loser!" Rocky growls a low growl, and elizabeth waves the plastic knife at him. Knowing he has lost this battle, Rocky returns to his Koi-salad sandwich.

[Beezer]

The 5M Cult should be soooo forever grateful that Merry found Mario. Tis a match made in heaven. For Beezer had great fear ... neigh, she quaked in her boots ... when Merry threatened to get her own dang tractor and disc the arena. Merry on a tractor ... oh, the horror! Oh, the carnage that would have ensued!

For this is the woman who once ran up onto the graves at a cemetary because she could NOT negotiate the turns in her manly-man pickup. She very nearly put one of the motorcycle officers accompanying the procession INTO his grave. Which prompted him to comment something along the lines of, "This is why women should not be allowed to drive trucks." /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Beezer realizes what rusty has done and thinks that feeding the dogs the koi sandwiches is a fine, FINE idea. So she tries to slip hers to one of the JRTs. But she mistakenly tries to give it to the finicky terrierista ... the one who eats only white meat -- no skin for him! -- and the best cuts of steak when it comes to table "scraps." (Only Beezer could own such an extremely picky JRT. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif ) Unfortunately, Merry sees the picky bugger spit out the koi sandwich. She knows what Beezer has done. She is not amused. Several of the 5M cultists have to save Beezer from Merry's wrath.

[Merry]

All I needed to know was, how do you tell when that bucket-thingy is deep enough in the ground to raise it up? I could've done it, you know! Might've taken out a section of the arena fencing, but the ring would've been done! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

... And as for the drive into the cemetary... Hey, I was just trying to add a little levity to the situation. Who woulda' thunk that the roadways would be so narrow in a cemetary? Don't they realize that a lot of people drive big honkin' pickup trucks as their primary vehicle? /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

Whoa, all of the cultists back away from Merry. She is on a tirade for sure. Everyone takes a big gulp of air, then bites into their koi salad sandwich. It's obvious they're forcing the meal down their throats. A collective, "Ummm-ummm, this is might tasty!" is muttered from the crowd on the beach... /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

[wtywmn4]

Oh lord, she's off!! Beezer do something! We're trying to force these, OMG sandwichs, a loose generalization, into our mouths. BLAH!!! Not enough mayo or relish to off this taste. Yes, Merry we belieeeeve you. We swear!! Wty nervously jangles her bracelet, hoping the sound will soothe Merry. rusty more margaritas, pleeease. Elizabeth, try and find something for Merry. A/A who backed up to the surf, has handed her Koi salad sandwich to the rolling waves. The group backs slowly from Merry's tirade towards the water mark.

[rusty]

WHat flavor do you guys want this time? WHat do you think goes bet with Koi?

[elizabeth]

Well, then, why do they call those vehicles "all terrain vehicles," right Merry? Exactly. And you will not be constrained by the norms of society. NO! Stay off the grass? Geesh! Stay off the sidewalk? Puh-lease!

Can I have a Koi Sandwich with tartar sauce, please?

[elizabeth]

Mario pulls up in his rototiller-truck-thing. He scratches his head, mutters "Merry didn't say nuthin' about this," and gets out of the truck. What he sees baffles him:

Some very attractive brunette is laying on her back next to a big pit filled with water and a few Koi. The brunette has a sign on her chest reading "Stop the killing. Save the Koi." Upon closer inspection, it seems that she is handcuffed to a jump standard.

Mario lets his gaze drift around the arena. Just a few yards to the left of the water pit and the brunette, he sees a woman with a blender, holding a sign saying "Just say NO to Koi Jerky." This woman is chanting "Just say NO" with a woman who appears to have her rump wrapped in ace bandages and guaze. Odd.

Scratching his head, Mario mutters "Koi Jerky?"

Then Mario notices the oddest of all signs - a sign reading "Make Love, Not Jerky." He looks around to see where the owner of the picket sign is, and he notices a couple locked in a passionate embrace. "Hey," says Mario, "coreene, is that you??"

Realizing that there is much more going on here than he can possibly deal with, Mario gets back in his rototiller-truck-thing and drives away.

[Merry]

"I need my arena! To heck with the dang goldfish! I cannot take the hassle of hauling my horses around town to ride in other people's arenas any longer!"

Merry stares at her traitorous comrades. "Put down those protest signs! I'll give you another cause... how about Save the Amateur Adult Jumper Rider?"

[Merry]

Given the discussion about some of the fluffy BB topics, what do you say we close/bury our funeral thread? I mean, this was supposed to be a funeral for the original thread.

We can never catch the Canadians. I concede to them. But being down here in the hospitable climate of California, I, quite frankly, have other things to do now that the springtime has arrived: I can ride, ride, ride, plant flowers, wear shorts and get a tan on my skinny legs, and stroll along the boardwalk at the beach. Perhaps I have been shamed into this, but I do not want to be accused of prolonging the inevitable demise of our "fluffy" thread and using up BB space.

And so, I bid, "adieu."

"Alas, my funeral thread... and my koi... I knew them well," Merry says tearfully, and silently walks to her emerald green, shiny pickup, and drives away into the 80 degree sunshine. Is she going to tear up the turf at the local cemetary? Is she going to the nearest H.Salt for some memorial fishsticks? Is she going to rear-end the first car she sees in downtown L.A. with a Canadian license plate? Who knows.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[wtywmn4]

We knew it was coming, says wty. Head hanging, ahhhh those fabulous margartias rusty,you're the best, coreene and all her "friends", A/A with her now visable scars, elizabeth whose fingers are worn out from dialing and faxing. Weeble, Suave, wty all headed to horse shows. Merry, headed off to have a wreck of her choice with some poor snow bird canadian. And Beezer, with Mr Beeaer listening to the tinkle of Mother ringing her bell. BUT, the Canadians did NOT win!!!! We have the sun and warmth in Calif. Not to mention rolling blackouts. HA, see if they can top that! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[SuaveReno]

Ah yes...it was anticipated and not that I've completely dried out...I have one last question???Where are we gonna be hangin' next /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

[Coreene]

"Excuse me! Young man, come here!" she screams, donning her Miss Bossy Boots persona yet again.

The poor fellow runs over and she points to the Vuitton traveling cases.

"Please, send these to the COTH BB Movie set," she barks. "NOW! Where is the limo? Did you place the order for onboard lunch with Il Fornaio like I told you?!"

She begins mumbling to herself - again - about the lack of good help these days and not being able to find a young whippersnapper cutie patootie when she needs one the most.

"Okay ladies, let's blow this taco stand!" she laughs, and points (with very long red nails, of course) to the arriving limo. "We're going to the set!"

She then waves at the few remaining as she bids a fond farewell to the wake, relieved that at last she found out What Happened To Kimmie.

[AAJumper]

AAJumper gazes off towards the horizon. The angle of the afternoon sun is changing...the days are getting longer and the evenings once again have that warm feel to them. Instinctively she knows spring has arrived....time to plan those summer waterskiing vacations and horse shows. LAEC, Blenheim, Showpark...so many choices...she wonders where the barn show schedule will lead her next. She lets out a deep relaxed sigh, and heads out to the barn. She tacks up Cypress with nothing but a bareback pad and a bridle, and jumps on wearing shorts and tennis shoes. She heads out, in no particular direction, but comforted with the knowledge that somehow, somewhere, the CA clique will meet again. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[Beezer]

Beezer makes one last grab for her JRTs. Miraculously, she manages to catch and hang onto them. She attaches little curb chain bracelet-style collars around their necks. "There. Now whenever I hear the pitter-patter of your little feet, I will think of our threads and all the fun we had. I will miss you all. I shall pine until the time at which we are together again."

And speaking of the pitter-patter of little feet ... we have indeed outdone the Canadians! Our own little Katey is expecting! A real HUMAN baby, not a horsey one! So TAKE THAT up there where the sun don't shine!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[elizabeth]

Blah, blah, blah - sunrise, sunset. Every good deal gets closed. Pack up your briefcases, get the limo to the airport, and go home. Nice doing business with you, Wake Thread. This is the nature of the beast. It's just as well - I've got faxes to send and calls to field. Have I mentioned that I am very busy and very important?

<<elizabeth, smiles glibly, jingles her curb chain bracelet authoritatively, pivots and walks away. But when she is about 20 feet from the Wake Thread, she breaks down, shoulders heaving. Sobbing, she wails "what am I gonna do without you, Wake Thread? Oh Merry, oh Beezer, oh coreene, suavereno, weeble, AAJumper. What am I gonna do?" Broken-hearted with agony of saying goodbye to something she loved so much, she weeps silently. . . . Slowly, though, her tears subside, as the plan hatches. A sly smile brightens up her tear-streaked face, as she mutters "I can sell the movie rights. . . .">>

[SuaveReno]

Let's figure out another thread.. AA jumper, SuaveREno wants to meet you at a show for inspiration to make it out of the 2'9" heights onto greater things /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Beezer, Merry, Rusty, Corenne, Elizabeth, Weeble et al....... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[rusty]

Until we meet again. I will keep the blenders in a safe place and excercise them as needed.

[AAJumper]

SuaveReno, I'm going to LAEC for the Gold Coast show on April 8th.....and I'll be starting off doing the hopeful jumpers!!! Yes, I've been demoted, LOL. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Actually, the plan is to start the day off in the 2'6"-2'9" jumper class to give me and Cypress a dose of confidence, and hopefully after a couple of classes we'll finish with a nice low AA round and go home. Someday I'll be able to have two good shows in a row....someday... /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

[Merry]

And a voice from Somewhere Above is heard proclaiming:
"Sim-sala-bim, my childlike cultists, ride in peace." /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[wtywmn4]

Is anyone showing up north? Wty plantively wails? Heaving another big sigh over the demise of the thread, she looks at the waiting limo. elizabeth true to her image, hops in, has the driver toot and off she goes. A/A, coreene, well I know you will be busy. rusty is there such a thing as a farewell margarita? weeble will be back. Suave..where can we meet? Liked the gnu thread idea! wty knows she finally has to face the scrapping off of her horse/hippo. Having put this off, she heads to the barn. Wondering if there were some way she could run her thru the car wash?

[rusty]

A car wash for horses, excellent idea.
It could be made in a large horse trailer and taken to all the shows no more muddy over crowded wash racks. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[MO]

Ciao everyone!
Until next time on another thread. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif