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View Full Version : Practical Protection for Private Parts - or - "Get Thee to a Nunnery"



Inverness
Aug. 1, 2001, 06:06 AM
Last night I made the mistake of taking a lesson with Kennett Square -- wearing jeans.

Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but if I were to make this a habit, I could end up divorced.

I've preliminarily concluded that in order to ride in jeans one must meet one or more of the following criteria:

1. celibacy;
2. enjoyment of masochistic sexual practices;
3. insensitivity (also known as "numb nuts" in gender-specific terms);
4. imperviousness to pain during urination, or, severe dehydration;
5. Employment which does not require one to sit or wear tight pantyhose.

Personally, I don't qualify. Breeches may show every bulge but, in my view, my sacrificed vanity is a small price to pay for marital bliss.

Just my opinion . . .

Inverness
Aug. 1, 2001, 06:06 AM
Last night I made the mistake of taking a lesson with Kennett Square -- wearing jeans.

Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but if I were to make this a habit, I could end up divorced.

I've preliminarily concluded that in order to ride in jeans one must meet one or more of the following criteria:

1. celibacy;
2. enjoyment of masochistic sexual practices;
3. insensitivity (also known as "numb nuts" in gender-specific terms);
4. imperviousness to pain during urination, or, severe dehydration;
5. Employment which does not require one to sit or wear tight pantyhose.

Personally, I don't qualify. Breeches may show every bulge but, in my view, my sacrificed vanity is a small price to pay for marital bliss.

Just my opinion . . .

Everythingbutwings
Aug. 1, 2001, 06:13 AM
or another brand of stretchy riding jeans are great /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

I believe I saw several pairs at the Tack Exchange - SHOPPING TRIP AHEAD! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

DMK
Aug. 1, 2001, 06:23 AM
Hmmm... Inverness... I have been riding in jeans, jeans and half chaps or jeans and chaps for most of my life (except when about to enter the show ring), with no problem.

On the other hand, I am still single... /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

Could be a connection here! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Everythingbutwings
Aug. 1, 2001, 06:27 AM
I think it helps to have grown up riding. It is the 20-30 years worth that desensitizes certian parts. Maybe the brain no longer recognizes Jean pain as worthy of attention. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

mizzwade
Aug. 1, 2001, 06:58 AM
what did Ms. Square make you do in your Jeans?? I'd consider suing her and/or the jean manufacturer for loss of "function."

I've been riding for jeans for most of my life and haven't had a problem... Yes, I'm married and, well, never mind.... Yes I wear panty hose to work.

mizzwade

Flash44
Aug. 1, 2001, 07:06 AM
Your jeans have to be loose or at least very stretchy, and should be made of a soft cotton.

DMK
Aug. 1, 2001, 07:27 AM
That's a negatory, Flash... Oh wait... I'm the one who is still single... never mind. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

hoopoe
Aug. 1, 2001, 07:33 AM
Oh I feel your pain. I can clearly remember the chafes and raw skids all down the inside of my legs from jeans. Never ever again!

BTW "Get thee to a nunnery" refers to a house of prostitution not a house of G**. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

VTrider
Aug. 1, 2001, 07:45 AM
I have ridden in jeans and chaps since Day 1. Got a pair of chaps when I turned three. Wore jeans every day of my life til I enter corporate world.

I don't wear baggy jeans under chaps (however, they are not tight enough to enforce a camel toe...think back students to a thread this past spring - do we all remember what a camel toe is?)...However, my chaps days will soon be coming to an end as Saturday, I am picking up my half-chaps at Journeyman's - VTrider is very excited.

Calvin Kleins are great riding jeans (Inverness, go to the White Elephant in Middleburg, that's where I got all my CK riding jeans for $2/pair!)...

Hmmm...if I don't want to end up an old, bitter, wrinkled up, single woman like someone else on this BB, should I start riding in my boots and breeches every day?

[This message was edited by VTrider on Aug. 01, 2001 at 10:53 AM.]

Inverness
Aug. 1, 2001, 07:47 AM
Thanx Hoopoe; there's no telling how many other lines in Hamlet (affectionately, Omelette) I've been misreading for years! LOL! /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

I just don't think I can work through the pain to accustom myself to the jeans thing. I wish someone would make loose fitting schooling tights so I wouldn't get so bloody hot in the summer. I love the freedom of movement afforded by tights but I hate wearing tight-fitting clothes of any kind in this heat and humidity.

The search for the ideal summer lesson attire goes on . . .

BTW, Mizzwade, you can just imagine. Lots of sitting trot on a bouncy, bouncy, bouncy horsie.

VTrider
Aug. 1, 2001, 07:55 AM
riding commando. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Alex Trebek
Aug. 1, 2001, 07:57 AM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by VTrider:
Hmmm...if I don't want to end up an old, bitter, wrinkled up, single woman like someone else on this BB, should I start riding in my boots and breeches every day?


DMK, are you just going to TAKE that from her?!

AHC
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:05 AM
I'm with VT and DMK.... riding in jeans and chaps for years.... still single.... hmmmmmmmmm /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

VTrider
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:10 AM
I am not single LOL! My SO wears tighter jeans than I do LOLOL!

Heidi
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:12 AM
Have also encountered a similar condition - though I was riding in breeches and half chaps. Terribly painful and messy (read blood stains). Tried riding with a pantyliner in the hope that it would 'address' the issue. Did not work.

Know that we shrink in height as we age, but do you think other body parts shift, too? I have noticed certain seismic shifts with men...

"Mommy, does it really matter?" - Sumo toddler, age 3

DMK
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:14 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MissXani:
DMK, are you just going to TAKE that from her?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Oh hell, she KNOWS I don't get mad, I just get even... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Smart Alec
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:24 AM
I almost always wear jeans and chaps when I ride. My jeans are relaxed fit boot cut, so they are fitting but as VTRider pointed out...no Camel Toe action over here. *Shudder* /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Also, I am technically not single as I have an S/O thats been with me for 7+ yrs.
Another solution for summer riding attire...why not try kerrits? They are a schooling tight but pretty thin and I don't think they are too tight...you could always get a size bigger. /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

hoopoe
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:28 AM
Dosn't "BOUNCE" make a schooling tight? Are they any cooler than B&B? I see them in cats for Dressage and 3 day equipment.

What about traditional cotton type jods? Do they even make them anymore?

I have always found boots and breeches much cooler than jeans any day of the week. Then of course everyone knows it rains up here every day of the year and never gets above 60* /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Miniwelsh
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:48 AM
I ride in Tommy jeans with chaps and have never had a problem. When I rode in a pair of Jones NY jeans with my chaps, I developed lovely sores on the inside of both calves - just in time for summer bare legs. My fiance' walked about three steps everywhere we went for a month.

My Tommy's are boot leg cut and don't rub at all - but don't ever try to ride in an english saddle with jeans and no chaps - YOWCH!!!

*Behind every good woman lies a trail of men*

Aug. 1, 2001, 08:57 AM
I NEVER have to shave the insides of my legs--that's a good thing... Levi's and 1/2 chaps work for me.

Member of the Commando/Anti-Thong, but will still wear an orange toque Clique!

My signature used to say "Get Over It"!!!

Don't get stuck in the sludge if you're that confident in your ride!

rory
Aug. 1, 2001, 09:16 AM
Always jeans and chaps (none of this half-chap foolishness! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif ), but it definitely matters what jeans you wear! I wore this one pair of Gap jeans once and almost had to go to the hospital. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Mr. Rory married me regardless and hasn't divorced me yet! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Smart Alec
Aug. 1, 2001, 09:30 AM
it does matter what kind of jeans you wear...some are not as soft as others....fortunately my cheap a$$ can ride in Old Navy $20 jeans... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

FirstCry
Aug. 1, 2001, 09:31 AM
Rory - Yep them GAP jeans are killers. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

But I too, have never had much of a problem riding in jeans. When I was much younger I would get them nasty rub marks on the inside of my calf, but I believe I may have built up caluses (sp?) there now so I feel no pain. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

And I am married, but on the other side of the coin, he can be a complete Jacka$$ most of the time sooooooo I wonder??? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group of North America

VTrider
Aug. 1, 2001, 09:49 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Smart Alec

fortunately my cheap a$$ can ride in Old Navy $20 jeans... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aren't Old Navy jeans the best!!!!!!

Merry
Aug. 1, 2001, 09:57 AM
Yup, the jeans, they matter. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Lands End slim cut jeans fit great under my chaps, but I must wear the lovely padded crotch riding panties (so sophisticated) if I do not want to suffer abrasions in the "marital areas" of my body.

Now, my Calvin Klein jeans don't bother me, but with my toothpick calves I end up wrapping denim around my ankles so I can zip up my chaps. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Oh sigh, the torments I deal with daily. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

"Charter Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group of North America"

Kennett Square
Aug. 1, 2001, 09:58 AM
Inverness,

I object to my lessons being called a mistake!! It isn't my job to dress you for riding....LOL Why some of the outlandish outfits you do come up with make me afraid to ask what in heavens name is that all about? If you think last night was hard, it's now going to be even worse this evening.... Let's see..... bareback in polyester shorts( with a lovely hooters top to go with it) doing an extended posting trot....Anyone want to wager some money here at how long the Precious Pumpkin stays on?????

Now you can ask any other of my students if they'ved had problems with riding in jeans and I think not too many have. I know MizzWade, for one, didn't and even if she did she was ( and is ) always the profession A/O and would never whine about it. But for some reason she has a penchant for wanting to sue me... After all those glorious rides on the origninal KS....Big Sign. I think if she keeps being Sassy/Lippy like this I might have to go find a Claudio clone for her. NO more military men. But I agree with Wingsie, I grew up riding in jeans so I think I became immune to any pain because of that.

Brookes
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:00 AM
DESITIN! This is the dressage rider's cure! Trust me it works, a little messy but no real dressage rider is caught without it! Think of all that sitting trot and in breeches no less! You know who has cool schooling breeches is Equissentials, really comfy, breathable and they don't have any seams where it counts! Check it out! Poor tussies!

Cinco de Mayo
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:05 AM
"Levi's" is the Answer. And I'm a newlywed. tee hee.

I have problems when I wear my On Course Cotton naturals with the size zip: /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif They put monster sized seams in those things!

Inverness
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:13 AM
. . . and I don't think Old Navy will sell jeans to anyone over 40. What's an old gal to do?

Cactuskate has informed me via email that I am suffering from a condition known as "dressage crotch." So nice to have a proper name for the malady.

Don't temp fate KS, or I'll wear your favorite silver spandex astride that shaggy-maned beastie!

Brookes
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:30 AM
Yes it's true! Dressage Crotch! It is a medical term! It can be diagnosed by your friendly OBGYN! Kidding! It's not a pretty picture at all, kind of painful peeling away your undies when undressing, yip, ouch, yip! You do not under any circumstances go anywhere near your s/o or husband until you have had a nice hot soak in the tub for an hour,. .. with bath salts. . . .and lots of soap, and a very very soft washcloth!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AMom
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:41 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>....in the "marital areas" of my body. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Merry! That is cracking me up! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Reminds me of one of the female comedians who was worried about sleeping in the nude in case of a fire and running outside only to reveal her "lady area" to the neighbors /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Seriously, though, this is a big issue! I discovered the wonders of boots and breeches when I was breaking in new boots last year and found it much more comfortable than riding in jeans!

My husband once dated another rider and says she and I were definitely similar in the "marital areas" in some ways than the non-riders he's dated... I was too much of a lady to ask for lots of details /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif but understood that sensitivity was involved? Not going any further /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Paige
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:46 AM
I always ride in GAP jeans with half-chaps and I have never had a problem. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Horsepower
Aug. 1, 2001, 11:03 AM
After years of being rubbed raw (to the point of bleeding at times) I finally was given the solution by a friend who is a long distance bicycle rider. I went to a local bike store and bought the special wicking and padded underwear and in addition bought the thickly padded spandex bicycle shorts. I wear both under any jeans or breeches. (It's worth wearing the bulky outfit for me and frankly the shorts act like a girdle!) It is the only combination that keeps me from suffering. My problem was so bad I couldn't even walk afterwards let alone have a "happy time" with my hubby!

Smart Alec
Aug. 1, 2001, 11:08 AM
My innocent ears!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif Your post had me both laughing and crying...the tears are streaming and my co-workers think it's time to call in the men in white coats! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
One question:
Is dressage crotch by any chance related to Camel Toes??? /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
VTRider! Yes, Old Navy jeans are awesome!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

dbtoo
Aug. 1, 2001, 11:09 AM
Yep. Keritts are the way to go. Besides being cooler that any other tights, jeans, breeches imaginable they are also the most comfortable.
I don't wear anything else anymore (pants I mean /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif ) and haven't had a "problem" since.

Smart Alec
Aug. 1, 2001, 11:15 AM
Plus they come with that cute little bag of carrot seeds! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Cactuskate
Aug. 1, 2001, 11:41 AM
Too true....and isn't it interesting how "that time of month" just happens to coincide with those long dressage clinics??? Hey any port in a storm I say. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

As I also shared with Inverness, when I first tried my new dressage saddle many years ago, I was riding in my 501 Levi's, you know the button up kind? One remembers very quickly that the dressage seat is a very "VERTICAL" one. That first posting stride is a killer if you do the hunt seat post!!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Thanks for the biking attire tip. Sounds logical to me. Talk about an uncomfortable looking "seat".

You know what Confucious say about woman who rides bike, don't you? She pedal a$$ all over town.

Sorry, old humor never dies......... /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

"The older I get, the better I used to be."

Eglinton
Aug. 1, 2001, 11:43 AM
If sitting trot causes you to bleed, you are likely sitting on your crotch instead of your seat bones. This can cause bleeding, or burning when you pee. You just need to shift your center back a bit. If you are raw on your inner thighs, well thats fine! You'r in the right position.

Lord Helpus
Aug. 1, 2001, 11:53 AM
It never occurred to me that there might be a "feminine" reason for it! (So what is Robert Dover's excuse?)

I have ridden for decades in whatever jeans (and chaps) I favored at the moment with no pain or discomfort. Perhaps there is something to be said for starting riding when you are a 3 year old....

If I had a husband who compared me to other riders in such an intimate way there is no way in he!! I would let him out of the room without a FULL explanation. I trust one will be forthcoming and it will be shared with the BB.

LaurieB
Aug. 1, 2001, 12:04 PM
I'm another one who rides in jeans and chaps--pretty much any kind of either one--with no problem. But boy am I enjoying reading this thread! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Maybe I need to get a life? /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

artienallie
Aug. 1, 2001, 12:08 PM
Boots and breeches, chaps and jeans, I've never noticed a difference, except I can't bend quite right in chaps and jeans - no mounting from the ground in that attire!

The jeans are Levi's from the outlet. My cheap a$$ can't afford Old Navy. I've also ridden in a hand-me-down pair of Express Blues (fancy-schmancy!) and other than having to fold the denim around my ankles a la Merry, there was no difference.

Oh, and I'm not single, either, and my fiance has never had any issues.....

/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

DMK
Aug. 1, 2001, 12:10 PM
CWP... So, sensitivity is... good, right?

/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

InWhyCee
Aug. 1, 2001, 12:14 PM
Oh, dear... If you ever showed on the QH circuit, you know real cowboys (and cowgirls) only wear Wranglers. There's something about the way the seams are placed... Personally, I can't find jeans of any brand that will fit my Jennifer Lopez-style butt and wouldn't wear them riding if I did....It's princessy breeches or nothing!

Love this thread... reminds of when I took two male, non-riding friends to a schooling show. Aside from wanting to know "How long does this go on?" and "Where's the bake sale?" they were REALLY fascinated by the male riders, i.e. "Where do they.. uhhmmm... uhhh... PUT everything?" /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

VTrider
Aug. 1, 2001, 12:19 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by InWhyCee:
Oh, dear... If you ever showed on the QH circuit, you know real cowboys (and cowgirls) only wear Wranglers. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Men = Wranglers and Cinch
Ladies = Rockies, Cruel Girl or Lawman's

I am a closet QH Queen /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Miniwelsh
Aug. 1, 2001, 12:19 PM
isn't there another brand on the QH circuit too? I can't remember what they are called, but they have no pockets in the back - a look I despise. They only look good on those blessed with a flat, skinny a$$...unfortunately, that group does not include me!

Oh that VT Rider...Rockies are the ones I am thinking of. It's another TGFVTR moment!


*Behind every good woman lies a trail of men*

InWhyCee
Aug. 1, 2001, 12:40 PM
I don't know about other brands! I haven't even owned a pair of jeans since coming out as a hunt-seat princess way back in the '80s. I haven't dated a cowboy since (though I WOULD, if you know any)... Yes, all I know is Wranglers, because "he's one tough customer... built to take it... with looks that make it." /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Duffy
Aug. 1, 2001, 02:54 PM
Maybe it's because I ride in all sorts of different brand jeans that I don't have a problem? Maybe the seams, etc. are all in different places, so the same isn't hitting the same...Well, you get the idea. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Merry
Aug. 1, 2001, 03:33 PM
I don't "do" the breeches/chaps thing because I usually stop at the store on the way home. I just can't walk around in those tights, especially the way tidbits of hay cling to the material. /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

"Charter Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group of North America"

dbtoo
Aug. 1, 2001, 03:42 PM
/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif I do it all the time, bits of hay and assorted mud patches and all.

However, I do occasionally go in my civvies to prove that I can look nice once and a while

AMom
Aug. 1, 2001, 04:40 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Lord Helpus wrote: If I had a husband who compared me to other riders in such an intimate way there is no way in he!! I would let him out of the room without a FULL explanation. I trust one will be forthcoming and it will be shared with the BB.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> DMK wrote: CWP... So, sensitivity is... good, right?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif This is the blushing icon, right? I don't know that I can give the FULL explanation, but DMK is right and apparently some of us "crazy horse ladies" as my husband puts it, just aren't as.... because..... and riding a lot without stirrups makes it worse..... /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif I think I'd better stop..... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Kirsten
Aug. 1, 2001, 06:44 PM
I had a definite walk-altering experience when I rode in a new pair of Gap jeans instead of the cheesy stretchy Millers jeans I normally wear under my chaps. That seam!! That awful, evil seam! And I'm not talking about the leg seam, either. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif Ughh! And I was so psyched to pick them up for cheap at the outlet in Lake Placid... rats.

All I can say is Levis were always much kinder to me. Go 501 or go home, ladies! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Beezer
Aug. 1, 2001, 08:44 PM
Speak for yourself! Mr. Beezer has had nothing but compliments. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

But I admit, I am a tights and half-chaps kinda gal. Maybe that makes the difference?!?!?

****Bulletin Board Goddess****

AAJumper
Aug. 1, 2001, 09:52 PM
I personally prefer breeches and chaps. I used to only wear breeches and tall boots for a long time. Then I switched to chaps, but I still wanted the stretchy feel...riding in jeans feels weird to me. I only wear dark colored breeches at home (navy, dark green, black) so they have that slimming effect. I even wear them around after riding...in fact, I just got back from a post-lesson sushi fest!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Merry
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:06 PM
Hmmm... so, should I wear my TS rust breeches underneath my custom brown schooling chaps at the show this weekend? Or is that just too much "autumnal" coloring?

Hey, I got the dang pair of things, I gotta wear them! /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

"Charter Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group of North America"

AAJumper
Aug. 1, 2001, 10:22 PM
Uh...well, Merry...I'm thinking that there would be some serious color clashing going on with that combo!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif But you know, I did see someone riding in rust breeches at The Oaks (Blenheim) a few weeks ago...although I think it was a guy.

DMK
Aug. 2, 2001, 06:31 AM
Oh, I dunno, Beezer... unless I am missing something, methinks Mr. CWP doesn't have any complaints either!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

AMom
Aug. 2, 2001, 07:11 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Oh, I dunno, Beezer... unless I am missing something, methinks Mr. CWP doesn't have any complaints either!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

rileyt
Aug. 2, 2001, 08:07 AM
I don't know whether to laugh or crawl under my desk and turn lovely shades of red!

Beezer
Aug. 2, 2001, 08:34 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DMK:
Oh, I dunno, Beezer... unless I am missing something, methinks Mr. CWP doesn't have any complaints either!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OK, I admit to confusion here. Are we saying that ladies who ride are or are NOT more, ahem, well ... you know. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif Because if it's "are," then that's a good thing, and Beezer simply misunderstood. Which means everyone's happy. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

****Bulletin Board Goddess****

HeyYouNags
Aug. 2, 2001, 09:20 AM
No, I think the sensitive ones are those of us who can't ride in jeans /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif Which means all of us DQs /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

I had "The Inverness Problem", even in britches and half chaps, with my previous horse, a tense OTTB. Also, my old dressage saddle had a cut-back pommel. Tense horse + cutback saddle + lots of trot work = peeling away the undies + screaming in pain on the potty.

As we can see from the above equation, the solution would be to subtract jeans and add relaxed horse. Also, multiply the cube of the saddle by the square root of the OTTB.

May I also suggest a research project? Everyone who knows a male who has "enjoyed the company of" more than one female rider should be polled (not POLED!), so we can gather enough data to determine our relative sensitivity... I have a test subject in mind, but I don't know if I want to hear the answer... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif


HYN, a member of the "old, bitter, shriveled, and single" clique. Gonna slap a couple of you young 'uns.

Erin
Aug. 2, 2001, 09:38 AM
I am just going to shield my eyes and pretend I never saw this thread.... lordy lordy lordy. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

(Although I do want to know the outcome of HYN's research project! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif )

DMK
Aug. 2, 2001, 10:31 AM
Beezer.... I believe Mr. CWP has noted that riders... including Mrs. CWP /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif ARE more... well, you know... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Cactuskate
Aug. 2, 2001, 11:12 AM
DMK, I think the word you are looking for is more spirited. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

"The older I get, the better I used to be."

artienallie
Aug. 2, 2001, 11:49 AM
Very tactful CactusKate. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

I'll have to poll Mr. artienallie tonight - he's mentioned this subject before.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

DMK
Aug. 2, 2001, 11:49 AM
Well, we sure aren't intimidated by a crow hop or two /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

AMom
Aug. 2, 2001, 01:26 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I'll have to poll Mr. artienallie tonight - he's mentioned this subject before....
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh thank God!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif I was really starting to think I was alone out here... Please do tell us what Mr. Artienallie says!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

And DMK /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif (I just LUURRRVVEEE emoticons /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif )

Beezer
Aug. 2, 2001, 08:30 PM
Yes! Please do let us know what Mr. Artienallie says ... and I second the call for research results, HYN. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Psst ... should I tell you Mr. Beezer's biggest fear?? /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

Naaaaw. Never mind. Let your imaginations run wild! Besides, I don't want to be accused of corrupting innocent young minds! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

****Bulletin Board Goddess****

Inverness
Aug. 3, 2001, 08:08 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I had "The Inverness Problem", even in britches and half chaps . . ." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can I persuade ya'll ladies to refrain from referring to this delicate condition as, "The Inverness Problem?" The term "Dressage Crotch" is much more appropriate don't you think?

I'm not terribly anxious to be forever remembered on this BB for injuries to the "community property."

BTW, Kennett Square may be facing charges for contributing to this "problem." Although at the tender age of twelve, I doubt that last night's unfortunate student will be suing for loss of consortium, but she clearly can make a case for intentional infliction of genital distress. Hmm, maybe even assault and battery with a mareish weapon . . .

Kennett Square
Aug. 3, 2001, 09:27 AM
Ms.Inverness,

You never know when to leave well enough alone.....LOL. The child was merely riding bareback. She was learning (as we all do when we first start riding bareback) how to properly positon her body in the most comfortable way on her big fat sofa. No true the downward transitions were not easy but once she got the hang of bracing with your hand she was fine... So let's see, at the end of your next lesson we can practice this too!!

Everythingbutwings
Aug. 3, 2001, 09:43 AM
/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Sounds like the title to a soon to be released thriller a la "The Eiger Sanction"

mizzwade
Aug. 3, 2001, 09:53 AM
sorts of issues.... I know all about her... Its all her fault... laughing... Actually I'm going to try some really wild outfit for a lesson sometime and see if my trainers notice. On Woody, it would be allowed, but on Hallowed Handsome Howie, any transgression would NOT be tolerated.......

mizzwade

artienallie
Aug. 3, 2001, 10:05 AM
on this subject.

He agrees spirited is a good adjective to use. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

As a writer, he also had some other adjectives, but spirited was mentioned here already, so that's what I'll stick with.

Beezer, what exactly is Mr. Beezer's biggest fear? You really don't want MY imagination running wild! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

DMK
Aug. 3, 2001, 10:38 AM
artienallie... in the interest of the first amendment, and literary accuracy and all, perhaps you should divulge the other adjectives? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

And you are right - Beezer should fess up. A BB full of rampant imaginations could be very dangerous!

SoEasy
Aug. 3, 2001, 11:21 AM
Do you think the moderators hearts could stand the 'fessing up' that is being called for here??????? /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

DMK
Aug. 3, 2001, 11:23 AM
I say there's only one way to find out!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

artienallie
Aug. 3, 2001, 11:44 AM
He agreed readilly with spirited

Also used (that can be repeated here....):

athletic
vigorous

and

responsive /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Beezer
Aug. 3, 2001, 11:49 AM
I just loved the use of "rampant"!! It so ... somehow ... fits right in ... so to speak. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

As for Mr. Beezer ... well, I have to mull how to say this in polite company. /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

Hm ... "the Inverness problem." Has a nice ring to it, methinks. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

****Bulletin Board Goddess****

DMK
Aug. 3, 2001, 11:56 AM
Yes, Beezer... "rampant" is one of those words that so perfectly describes BB culture, isn't it? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

I'm with the rest of y'all on The Inverness Problem. Makes me think of a Robert Ludlum novel.

Artienallie... I just will refrain from commenting on your use of the word "gentle"... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

artienallie
Aug. 3, 2001, 12:04 PM
I thought about the possibilities AFTER I posted.

"The Inverness Problem" sounds a little like a spy novel to me....

/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Everythingbutwings
Aug. 3, 2001, 01:04 PM
in their own way /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

HeyYouNags
Aug. 3, 2001, 01:17 PM
But Mr. Studmuffin didn't understand the question. Plus, I had to remind him about a previous DQ girlfriend. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif Methinks asking an ex-NFL player about the difference between old flames is like asking your horse which pellets taste better.

Well, thanks for ruining my research project!

But in the "there must be something unique" category: Once when I was looking at new pickup trucks, the salesman got *very* interested when I told him I needed the truck to pull a horse trailer. It seems one of his ex-girlfriends was a horse rider. That's the only time a saleman has ever told me to keep taking roads farther and farther away from the shop during the test drive. In addition to offering to sing for me in the truck, he dropped a few not-so-subtle hints about how... special... horsewomen are. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

There's one dealership I won't be going back to anytime soon! /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

sarapony
Apr. 19, 2002, 07:48 PM
I just had to bump this up /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
I was almost crying because I was laughing so hard

Betwixt the stirrup and the ground, mercy I asked, mercy I found

Merry
Apr. 19, 2002, 08:32 PM
Or is it Hall of Shame? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

"If you don't give me what I want... I will destroy your life." - Frank Donovan

Clarice
Apr. 19, 2002, 08:44 PM
I'm pretty sure it isn't her thighs she's talking about here! I feel your pain! I always ride in breeches, mostly due to a horse-related (of course) injury which has left me with quite a bit of scar tissue in my inner thigh. The inside seam of jeans leaves me hurting for days! Anyway, I find the breeches much more comfy, and have not noticed them being hotter at all.
That said, I hope you don't suffer any permanent nerve damage...no man likes a frigid woman!

Merry
Apr. 19, 2002, 09:33 PM
Ah, no, it ain't her "thighs". /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

"If you don't give me what I want... I will destroy your life." - Frank Donovan

mwalshe
Apr. 19, 2002, 11:53 PM
I went on a trail ride one time on a TW in an Australian stock saddle. Was promised it would be the "Most comfotable Ride You've Ever Been On".

HA! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif All I can say is that saddle impacted a part of my posterior that was not familiar with saddle leather. OUCH OUCH OUCH /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

VERY amusing to the rest of the barn for SEVERAL days afterwards. I will stick to my nice English saddle thankyouverymuch.

gotta vote aginst waffle-weave breeches/ pigskin saddles and long trailrides too. ICK, ACK, two-point is your friend.......

ponygrl
Apr. 20, 2002, 11:31 AM
Oh man, I rode in my new saddle for the 2nd time last night.

Well, better than the orgasmatron that I tried, but I did some work without stirrups and, well, haha good thing I'm not getting any these days. haha.

Laura

Merry
Apr. 20, 2002, 01:59 PM
"Why can't someone design decent, padded underwear for female equestrians?"

There were three of us in the lesson wearing the current offerings on the market: Granny pants that almost eek their waistband above that of our breeches, plus they feel about like you're wearing a diaper. /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

"If you don't give me what I want... I will destroy your life." - Frank Donovan

Spider
Apr. 20, 2002, 02:16 PM
ok...ok... I have no idea how to word this at all....I ride in jeans and chaps practically everytime I ride, are you all saying that it is harder to um...er... be satisfied?

"Polo isn't a sport. It's golf on horseback, without the holes. It's a great concept, but it's not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to mention it, because it's extremely cruel to the horses." - George Carlin

ponygrl
Apr. 20, 2002, 02:33 PM
nah. I'm just sore and am off limits right now.

Laura

SimpsoMatt
Apr. 20, 2002, 07:21 PM
Riding in jeans doesn't cause any ..um .. problems for me ..as long as I remember to wear underwear that fits well enough to keep everything where it belongs. But from purely academic interest, I'd be happy to help out with the suggested research project.

Merry
Apr. 21, 2002, 07:41 AM
Don't fret, Spider. Despite decades of jeans and chaps, I am (still) a happily satisfied customer. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

"If you don't give me what I want... I will destroy your life." - Frank Donovan

DMK
Apr. 21, 2002, 09:23 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spider:
ok...ok... I have no idea how to word this at all....I ride in jeans and chaps practically everytime I ride, are you all saying that it is harder to um...er... be satisfied?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nope. I'd say the thread consensus went in a whole 'nuther direction... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif


"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. "
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957) *

Spider
Apr. 21, 2002, 10:57 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Nope. I'd say the thread consensus went in a whole 'nuther direction...
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh....lol, than it's just me who has issues. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

"Polo isn't a sport. It's golf on horseback, without the holes. It's a great concept, but it's not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to mention it, because it's extremely cruel to the horses." - George Carlin

Merry
Apr. 21, 2002, 12:05 PM
Oh dear, need we start a therapy group for Spider? /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

"If you don't give me what I want... I will destroy your life." - Frank Donovan

DMK
Apr. 21, 2002, 02:35 PM
If the thought of the COTH BB'ers providing therapy wasn't such a terrifying thought, I'd agree with you Merry... /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif


"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. "
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957) *

Spider
Apr. 21, 2002, 06:15 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Oh dear, need we start a therapy group for Spider?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

"Polo isn't a sport. It's golf on horseback, without the holes. It's a great concept, but it's not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to mention it, because it's extremely cruel to the horses." - George Carlin

creseida
May. 27, 2002, 08:12 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Everythingbutwings:
in their own way /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Surely you mean infamous in this particular situation....The Inverness Problem; gotta love it! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

~<>~ Daedalus built the Labyrinthe, so winding and complicated a structure that no man or beast, once shut inside, could ever find the exit~<>~

Inverness
May. 28, 2002, 07:04 AM
Surely this thread needs to die a quiet death. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif



"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."

Tin
May. 28, 2002, 07:15 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Inverness:
Surely this thread needs to die a quiet death. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif


<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

says the woman with her name in the title... No way this has to be one of the most entertaining threads ever! Be lucky Inverness that your name will be forever remembered /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif



"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it" -W.C. Fields

Duffy
May. 28, 2002, 07:25 AM
My bad! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Blame it's resurrection on vineyridge! Ok, so her question was asked in all innocence, or so she'll say! /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

vineyridge
May. 28, 2002, 07:49 AM
Can't die until Beezer spills Mr. Beezer's fear.

For some reason, I have suffocation in my teeming imagination.

Besides, this is, as I have now learned to my personal discomfort, a VERY common and important issue for riders, which needs argument.

Duffy, you done good.

Merry
May. 28, 2002, 09:04 AM
Well, I just got back from three days of The Horse Show From Hell, and I believe I was saved from "Invernessitis" in part because I wore the lovely padded underwear on Day #3, which included two hacks and eq on the flat. Only problem is, during the sitting trot of the eq class, I was acutely aware of the foam-padded crotch snaking its way like an eel up my nether region until, by the time the class was finished, my a** was as red as an orangutan. I was considering purposely dehydrating myself just so I wouldn't have to pee, and thereby scald myself. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

... And yes, I realize this is far, far more about me than what you ever wanted to know... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

"I generally avoid temptation... Unless I can't resist it." - Mae West

Duffy
May. 28, 2002, 11:02 AM
OMG!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Therese
May. 28, 2002, 11:30 AM
I must say that I have had the dreaded Dressage Crotch (Inverness are you happy with me? /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif ) But my worst case came from a new pair of breeches. New breeches, thong, hot muggy day, major work on sitting trot and cantering 8m circles. Desitin and baby powder are my friend! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Interesting call to work the next day..."Hmmm, I can't come in, my, ummm, tummy, Yeah! My tummy hurts and I can't walk." Lucky for me my boss didn't press further.

On the OTHER topic of discussion, I have it on a couple of good authorities that female riders build certain muscles, and can, um, contract those muscles in such a way that non rider's can not. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif No further explanation forthcoming. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

--Therese

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -Douglas Adams 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe'

countingstrides
May. 28, 2002, 12:57 PM
Laughing with many tears now! Merry - you crack me up!

Merry
May. 28, 2002, 02:06 PM
Hey, I aims to please! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

"I generally avoid temptation... Unless I can't resist it." - Mae West

stasha
May. 28, 2002, 07:56 PM
Ah, geez. I nearly died of embarrassment just READING this post--with no one else in the room to catch me!!!!

And to the one (I forget who at the moment)who mentioned "Dressage Crotch"--it's also a "Reiner," and "Trail Rider" problem as well.

What is that odd whistling sound? Oh, heavens! My pencil punched a hole in my forehead!

May. 29, 2002, 03:37 PM
and forgot how much I disclosed about my person. I feel for all of those who suffer from this malady, but alas, I don't get it. This information could come in handy when Mr. Mommy is pestering me however!

Still married, and still commando! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

You have to be smarter than the horse, and since that will never happen, pretend you are.

[This message was edited by Silly Mommy on May. 29, 2002 at 07:02 PM.]