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planetlisa
Apr. 7, 2012, 03:44 PM
:lol: Living or dead.

My Dad is an inticate mix of Renaissance man, redneck, and cat whisperer. He likes to write poetry and music. He has a big crush on Sarah Palin. He once rescued a litter of skunks. He carries a bugle in the trunk of his car and likes to bust it out at random moments to surprise people. He also likes to play practical jokes with fake spiders.

twelvegates
Apr. 7, 2012, 04:30 PM
Aunt Mildred, God bless her soul.

Chief psychiatric nurse for the men's ward at St. Elizabeth's Hospital for the Criminally Insane (gotta love the old name).

Used to walk into the ward when the patients were, ummmm, "pleasuring" themselves. She'd pull out a pair of large shears from her pocket and snap them loudly as she paced down the center aisle. Definite mood changer.

Some of her patients got out on weekend passes and would cross to the other side of the street when they saw her coming.

Always thought of her as the prototype for Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Got mad at her first husband for sneaking sips from her precious supply of liquor, shared only with a few doctors and other nurses. He would substitute water for the missing alcohol. After she found out, she decided to add croton oil to the bottle, and found him at home one day, in all states of emesis in the bathroom. They divorced shortly thereafter.

Literally married second husband on his death bed. He passed two weeks later, never getting out of the hospital. Since he was on active duty at the time, she ended up with lifetime benefits to use military medical care and shopping privileges.

She traveled extensively and had hooka pipes and sexual fetishist images from around the world on prominent display in her living room. She probably looted archealogical sites. I have pictures of her riding camels in Egypt in the 1930s and sliding down glaciers in New Zealand in the 1940s, etc.

Knew people who would beat up others for money.

Was considered the black sheep of the family--the only conservative amongst a litter of union-loving liberals.

Though she had done very well financially, she prefered to shop for clothing at thrift stores and always checked out the "sale" cart at the grocery store. Even during the 1990s, thought someone should be willing to mow her lawn for a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.

Used to let me ride her German Shepherd when I was a wee one. She had an unusual connection with me--would call and ask if I were okay, usually within minutes of some accident.

She once decided that because my husband liked Mexican food, he would enjoy a jar of pickled jalapenoes (from the "half off" cart, of course.} He demurred when they were offered to him. Several days later, she asked us to come over and retrieve a meatloaf she prepared for us. In the center were the pickled jalapenoes. We still call it the Trojan Meatloaf.

Still miss her. :sadsmile:

Frank B
Apr. 7, 2012, 05:28 PM
One of my 1st cousins. He married an eventer. 'Nuff said.

glfprncs
Apr. 7, 2012, 06:51 PM
My Uncle Tommy was banned from being within 5000 feet of the Pope. I'm not sure if the ban switches over to the current Pope or not.

Woodsperson
Apr. 7, 2012, 07:09 PM
My now deceased Grandmother Violet. She got in physical fights into her 70s. She taught her dog to sing with her while she played piano. They would perform for company. He only knew that one song though. She cooked squirrel and dumplings and insisted we eat it. She could put her foot behind her head and did at the most inopportune times.

Eventually she succumbed to dementia, but that didn't change her basic personality. She would take out her false teeth and throw them at people. We finally had to buy her a wheelchair, even though she didn't need one, because she kept joyriding in everyone else's in the home. I couldn't take my kids to see her because she cursed so badly.

I do miss her.

planetlisa
Apr. 7, 2012, 08:59 PM
These are awesome :lol: More, more!

TheJenners
Apr. 7, 2012, 09:07 PM
I think it's me.

fooler
Apr. 7, 2012, 09:12 PM
I think it's me.


LOL - DITTO!

red mares
Apr. 7, 2012, 09:16 PM
My Mom's family from Philadelphia? all of them.

Maybe it was growing up in the uber bland 'burbs in Indiana, but Mom's family is like the Christmas Fruitcake - full of fruits & nuts.

The uncle who always wanted to be in the Mafia and registered the trucks he ran contraband in in his brother's name (with out telling him)

The cousins who attempted to break into a bank from the movie house next door during "Chitty Bang Bang"

The cousin named Sister

The uncle whose 2nd wife was younger than his daughter

One Eyed Warry (big guy, one eye & a speech impediment)

My grandmother, who was Estelle Getty on Golden Girls except with profanity, lots of it. Also known as Snow White - she was the tallest of 12 at 5'5", Dad referred to her brothers (all under 5') as the 7 Dwarfs.

My uncle Sped (Special Ed) christened so by his sons. Bought a bar for his kids, one of who was an alcoholic literally on the wrong side of the railroad tracks.

Sped's Bar with the mural of the Red Baron in the Lady's Room.

marianne
Apr. 7, 2012, 09:32 PM
who we described as the "Ross Perot's crazy aunt in the attic" Saved and hoarded all sorts of stuff. When we cleared out her condo in Cleveland last year we donated over 10,000 books to the Lakewood library, removed stacks of newspapers over 6 ft tall. So much stuff she had a broken window and no one knew about it. But then on the other hand she saved some very valuable heirlooms. She loved her cats.

sketcher
Apr. 7, 2012, 09:33 PM
I'm pretty sure I'd me considered the most eccentric in my family as well.

Jamie2337
Apr. 8, 2012, 01:07 AM
Oh...I will play.

My mom. Addict and pregnant by 15. Had me at 23 on her 3rd marriage, also managed to get my father to commit suicide so she had access to the military benefits for a life time.

Had several more boyfriends not that she had lots of benefits. Blew his life insurance on a Ford Mustang and a whole lotta crack.

Boyfriend #1 Physically abusive
Boyfriend #2 Mentally Abusive plus a drug dealer
Boyfriend #3 Physically and sexually abusive to her 3 daughters.

After BF #3 went to jail BF#4 was actually nice. In the course of 2 years medications she had given to "friends" or "family" killed them. Family being my younger sister who OD'ed on mom's meds.

Then she was living with my grandparents. My grandfather died and 3 months after in christmas day she intentionally OD'ed my grandmother.

Yeah...she was the black sheep of our family.

rmh_rider
Apr. 8, 2012, 09:51 AM
My mother. Oh my for sure.

Which she is the reason I will never have kids. I am not passing THAT dna along. I decided this when I was in my teens. My sisters have reproduced and they are my mother all over. But my mother is the worst one.

I have dogs and horses, no dna from my mother in them. :-)

Megaladon
Apr. 8, 2012, 10:04 AM
Definitely me and my mom.

sketcher
Apr. 8, 2012, 11:16 AM
Oh...I will play.

My mom. Addict and pregnant by 15. Had me at 23 on her 3rd marriage, also managed to get my father to commit suicide so she had access to the military benefits for a life time.

Had several more boyfriends not that she had lots of benefits. Blew his life insurance on a Ford Mustang and a whole lotta crack.

Boyfriend #1 Physically abusive
Boyfriend #2 Mentally Abusive plus a drug dealer
Boyfriend #3 Physically and sexually abusive to her 3 daughters.

After BF #3 went to jail BF#4 was actually nice. In the course of 2 years medications she had given to "friends" or "family" killed them. Family being my younger sister who OD'ed on mom's meds.

Then she was living with my grandparents. My grandfather died and 3 months after in christmas day she intentionally OD'ed my grandmother.

Yeah...she was the black sheep of our family.


Ummm. That's not even remotely eccentric. That's just plain messed up.

thatmoody
Apr. 8, 2012, 01:24 PM
My sister, who thinks our Aunt May's ghost lives in her piano, maybe? She listed our father's birthday on his tombstone as May 8th OR 9th (thanks, sis, why did other sis put you in charge again?) because he couldn't remember, so she declined to just pick one and put both (this was back before birth certificates, anyway). She is just WEIRD.

Petstorejunkie
Apr. 8, 2012, 02:42 PM
I was going to write about my mother but now she's feeling more normal.

She's a reiki master, convinced she's from Venus and will tell you so, once are a crow feather with cottage cheese because she felt so inclined. Her fabric of choice is elk. Her favorite hangouts are church on Wednesday nights despite not being Christian, and she dances in the powwow circles. She stops speaking English when she drinks tequila, instead it becomes some really broken Spanish.
She's the co creator of earth day yet doesn't recycle, creator of the slogan " play in the dirt again" for Pikes nursery. She still dreams of gun slinging like Annie Oakley, and says Git er Dun in jest. My father is the most normal man she's ever dated. SHE CAN'T SING but that doesn't stop her from attempting to imitate Joni Mitchell

Since its Easter let's talk about my childhood with Jesus. Lol! At Christmas she would set up a nativity scene (despite not being Christian) and our baby Jesus was an orange haired troll doll. Easter was about the Druidic birth of spring and the astrological mark of renewal. It's still my favorite holiday.

She will bark at you out her car window, or wave ecstatically like she knows you just to mess with you.

She's weird, I love her, but it would be nice if she would grow up just enough

JohnDeere
Apr. 8, 2012, 03:02 PM
My great grandma Ella. She was 60 when I was born. Yeah,we have em young. But I got to know her pretty well and she lived long enough to see me married.

My best story (told by my aunt): Granny Ella loved to make up stories. Problem was she didnt know (or didnt say) they were stories. Usually they were about what someone else said or thought or did. Anyway there was a case in that town where the husband shot the wife and shot himself. Ella was telling the story to my then-uncle (from out of town) and started "sharing" parts of what happened--he said _______, she said _______, on and on. Uncle is about to bust a gut. When asked why later, he asked how she knew what was said when BOTH PEOPLE WERE DEAD. Didnt stop her from telling a good story.

She loved a joke. She would put a fake ice cube with a spider in it in her ice trays. She would sew my dads pajama top closed at the front. She would tell me to look at something away from my plate and take what was on it. She listened in on the party line--oh what fun that was!

She was about 5 feet--tall and wide. But she had more energy at 70 than I do now. She could move quick and she was always working unless she was talking--usually both. We would pull up for a visit and she would RUN out to us in whatever she was wearing--curlers slippers apron whatever. She could cook up a storm as long as it used Crisco and kept a huge garden until her 80s.

Man I miss her.

Equilibrium
Apr. 8, 2012, 03:19 PM
My MIL is 75. She rides a scooter/moped everywhere. She milks 100 cows a day morning and evening. Daytime activities are training her greyhounds and egg collecting from lord knows how many chickens. In her day she used to be one of the best exercise riders around and could ride anything. She rode her motorcycle everywhere as she didn't have time for cars. One time the electric company came to turn off her electric. Man climbed pole from ladder, she took ladder away. Her electric stayed on in the end. Everybody knows who she is and has a never ending stream of stories. My farrier was telling a story one day of her exploits in going up North with certain antagonising fashion accessories on her motorcycle. Color him surprised when I said that is my MIL you know! Husband is so embarrassed by her but she is amazing. This woman lives in surroundings she is happy in, leave that to your imagination, yet she came from serious money. She gave valuable artwork to the galleries displaying them instead of selling. She couldn't deal with the money and so decided to something with it than give it to her children. Needless to say, her offspring are not impressed. I love her for doing and saying what she wants at all times.

Terri