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jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:00 AM
I am WritINg This undeR an AlTeR So This isN't ReallY Me.

I am HaViNg ProBleMs WitH My 3 Yr Old AnD NeeD HeLP. I Bought HIm From a BiG NAme TrainEr For Only 35000.00. My TraiNer Is So Nice thAt He Let Me MakE thE ChecK Out To Him So I wOUldn't be BoTherED By The SellER. He Is AN 18 HanD Sabino GypSy VannER ColT. I wNt To Keep HIm A Colt So I Can Breed HIm, Becuz, He IS SABINO, After all.

He Is A LittlE thin, But my Friend MJ says That He doesn't need MUch to Eat, Because ThAT woulD mAke Him HOt.

I Took HIm To A ShoW anD When SchooLing Over JumPS He WOUld GEt So Fast My BasebAll Cap Would Fly Off MY HEAD. The TraNqs We Gave HIM dIDN't sEEm To DO AnyThing, and I kNow I had The twistEd Wire Snaffle anD draw reins AdjustEd cOrrEctly. I wOrked On RiDinG Him Deep To Get HiS AtteNtioN. TheN hE would Run OUT When my TrainEr Was PolinG him. In The CLAss, I DiDN'T eVEN plAce, EveN thouGH MY BNT Was rIght AT the GAte IN Plane view Of The JUdge That I slepT with THe Day BEFOre. He cOuLdN'T HaVe BeeN MAd BeCauSe I Made thEm Hold thE GatE opEn FoR One HouR WhIlE I WaItEd For My TrAInEr To FiNiSh ScHollIng OnE Of The HoRseS FoR AnOthEr AMmIe BefOre Her ClAss, CoulD He?

My FriEnD tHat Is a lAwYer AnD LiVes on a LeAKy HouSeBoAt IN FLa, SaYs thAt BecAusE My 2nD Toe IS BiGgEr ThAn My BiG Toe,I ShoUlD HavE ReCeIved SpEcIal TreAtmENt AccOrdIng to The ADA, And BeeN AllOwed to Try thE cOurSE AgaIN. I ThInk I DiDn'T PlAce becaUse The NerVe BloCk On My HoRses tAil Was WeaRinG oFf And He SwiSHed IT ONce. I EveN Was aBlE To Get 4 StriDes IN A 6 Stride LIne, But My Horse WAs BAlAnCed WheN hE dId IT. My TraInEr SaYs I DiDn'T PlaCe BecAuSe It WAS an EQ ClAss And I ForGot To Purge The Day BEfOre tO KeeP My WeighT Down. Being HEaVy SHoulDn'T hAve MadE My Horse looK lAMe, ESpEcIallY AftEr GiviNg Him 5 GramS Of BUTE, So I DoN'T ThiNk That Is It.

Can AnYonE HelP? But Don"t Tell Me WhaT tO Do BecAuse yOu DoN't KNoW My HorsE, AnD I DO.
THAnkS!

PS- I ThiNk I NeeD A NeW HoRse So If AnYonE Has a fRee 6 Yr Old WB THaT JumPs 3'6" ThaT MovEs A 10, AnD iS SounD and boMBpRoof, PleaSe Let me knOw. I AlSo Need New TS BreeChes Size 28,, AnD A Blue GraNd PriX JacKet Size 12. If Anyone coulD send Me sOme MonEy To Buy Hay For The 250 Horses I RESCued, That Would BE GReAT TOo! Thanks!

PPS- EriN iS MeaN AnD pIckS On Me BecaUSe I Am From TexAS.

PPPS- I am thinkIng Of MovIng To ATlAnta, So If AnyonE cAn GivE me A list Of TrainErs WitHin a 300 Mile Radius, And their Names, Social Security Numbers, Birthdates, riding ResUmes, Turnout Schedules, directioNs to their barns, and Cost OF boarding It Would Be Appreciated.

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:00 AM
I am WritINg This undeR an AlTeR So This isN't ReallY Me.

I am HaViNg ProBleMs WitH My 3 Yr Old AnD NeeD HeLP. I Bought HIm From a BiG NAme TrainEr For Only 35000.00. My TraiNer Is So Nice thAt He Let Me MakE thE ChecK Out To Him So I wOUldn't be BoTherED By The SellER. He Is AN 18 HanD Sabino GypSy VannER ColT. I wNt To Keep HIm A Colt So I Can Breed HIm, Becuz, He IS SABINO, After all.

He Is A LittlE thin, But my Friend MJ says That He doesn't need MUch to Eat, Because ThAT woulD mAke Him HOt.

I Took HIm To A ShoW anD When SchooLing Over JumPS He WOUld GEt So Fast My BasebAll Cap Would Fly Off MY HEAD. The TraNqs We Gave HIM dIDN't sEEm To DO AnyThing, and I kNow I had The twistEd Wire Snaffle anD draw reins AdjustEd cOrrEctly. I wOrked On RiDinG Him Deep To Get HiS AtteNtioN. TheN hE would Run OUT When my TrainEr Was PolinG him. In The CLAss, I DiDN'T eVEN plAce, EveN thouGH MY BNT Was rIght AT the GAte IN Plane view Of The JUdge That I slepT with THe Day BEFOre. He cOuLdN'T HaVe BeeN MAd BeCauSe I Made thEm Hold thE GatE opEn FoR One HouR WhIlE I WaItEd For My TrAInEr To FiNiSh ScHollIng OnE Of The HoRseS FoR AnOthEr AMmIe BefOre Her ClAss, CoulD He?

My FriEnD tHat Is a lAwYer AnD LiVes on a LeAKy HouSeBoAt IN FLa, SaYs thAt BecAusE My 2nD Toe IS BiGgEr ThAn My BiG Toe,I ShoUlD HavE ReCeIved SpEcIal TreAtmENt AccOrdIng to The ADA, And BeeN AllOwed to Try thE cOurSE AgaIN. I ThInk I DiDn'T PlAce becaUse The NerVe BloCk On My HoRses tAil Was WeaRinG oFf And He SwiSHed IT ONce. I EveN Was aBlE To Get 4 StriDes IN A 6 Stride LIne, But My Horse WAs BAlAnCed WheN hE dId IT. My TraInEr SaYs I DiDn'T PlaCe BecAuSe It WAS an EQ ClAss And I ForGot To Purge The Day BEfOre tO KeeP My WeighT Down. Being HEaVy SHoulDn'T hAve MadE My Horse looK lAMe, ESpEcIallY AftEr GiviNg Him 5 GramS Of BUTE, So I DoN'T ThiNk That Is It.

Can AnYonE HelP? But Don"t Tell Me WhaT tO Do BecAuse yOu DoN't KNoW My HorsE, AnD I DO.
THAnkS!

PS- I ThiNk I NeeD A NeW HoRse So If AnYonE Has a fRee 6 Yr Old WB THaT JumPs 3'6" ThaT MovEs A 10, AnD iS SounD and boMBpRoof, PleaSe Let me knOw. I AlSo Need New TS BreeChes Size 28,, AnD A Blue GraNd PriX JacKet Size 12. If Anyone coulD send Me sOme MonEy To Buy Hay For The 250 Horses I RESCued, That Would BE GReAT TOo! Thanks!

PPS- EriN iS MeaN AnD pIckS On Me BecaUSe I Am From TexAS.

PPPS- I am thinkIng Of MovIng To ATlAnta, So If AnyonE cAn GivE me A list Of TrainErs WitHin a 300 Mile Radius, And their Names, Social Security Numbers, Birthdates, riding ResUmes, Turnout Schedules, directioNs to their barns, and Cost OF boarding It Would Be Appreciated.

Won For Me
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:12 AM
Jetsmom,
You aren't getting jaded are you? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

We have both been here long enough to know that this BB runs in cycles and it is just going through a bad one right now!

Please tell me we weren't like that back at Fox Hollow!

Kristen

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:17 AM
Hi Kristen! How Are you? PM Me and we'll chat.

Helen of NC
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:21 AM
As a newbie, and a suck-up (redundancy is my middle name... and my last), let me just say that you damn well better warn me next time you're planning to do this, so I can be prepared with the Depends! Laughed so hard I nearly squirted like one of my ever-in-season mares! (Hope this latter reference doesn't offend...)

Note to self: Kegels...

mrs.smith
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:28 AM
A warning would be great. I just spewed coffee all over my desk!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

The sad thing is, I've read a lot of these on here lately. Must be the full moon. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Hammar
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:37 AM
*blink* I don't get it... http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/uhoh.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:45 AM
Jetsmom.....I think the problem was the saddle cause everything else you did was right on! Had to have been the saddle. Perhaps you need to have it reflocked or get a new one altogether. OR, it could have been the shoe job you had done prior to the show...you remember, where you put 00 on size 2 feet and forgot to add the trailers? I'm sure it was the saddle or lack of trailers!!

egontoast
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:52 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif You need an animal communicator immediately!

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/uhoh.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

relocatedTXjumpr
Jun. 27, 2005, 10:55 AM
I dont get it either, I must haev missed something....but ITS FUNNY!!! Thanks for making me laugh!!

mrs.smith
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:00 AM
It's just a spoof on the many threads here that are posted under alters. Nothing really to get, just funny. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:13 AM
egontoast....you owe me a jean washing!! Lordy, that was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too funny!
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Be sure to add plenty of "bling" tack too!

Equit8tor
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:24 AM
There is NOTHING wrong with your 3 year old. Just switch disciplines to dressage, train him in the rollkur method and try your forst GP test this weekend!

bip
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:26 AM
Well, when you get that new horse we'll all be more than happy to help you pick out a show name. And a barn name.

BarbB
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:28 AM
Sounds to me like the judge was just mad at you.
I would dye the horse chestnut next time you show under that judge. I'm sure your trainer can show you how.

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

monstrpony
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:31 AM
Lordy--that must have been PAINFUL to type. I hope it was worth it... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

(ed. note--I think to be technically correct, you should NOT confess in the title that your post is long. After all, you're entitled. Entitlement includes verbosity. Even mangled, illegible verbosity.

Just a suggestion...)

JumpingPaints
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:34 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Perhaps your horse was being chased by unsupervised drunk geese with foul breath.

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:38 AM
You should have added BOSS, Vinegar and Paprika to his feed too!

Won For Me
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:50 AM
Oh and dear lord, don't forget to put the panty hose on your head. Make sure they are the proper color of nude to match your horse!

MistyBlue
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:51 AM
You need to commit a public lewd act whilst riding DEEP.
Seriously...do I have to be the only one who isn't afraid to type that out loud?????

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 11:53 AM
I think if you are being ridden deep, you are committing a Lewd act!

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:00 PM
ROFLMAO!!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Perfect for a Monday!

FindersKeepers
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:01 PM
O please, this is simple, you just need to clicker train the beast!!!!...and perhaps the judge needs to sleep w/ your BNT as well.

Hammar
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:02 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:06 PM
WeLL I ThiNk I FouNd A SolUtion...I Am GOIng TO tAkE sOme LessOnS FrOm A TraInEr KnoWN AS PV. He SAiD MY HOrSE Is REaLLy NicE AnD tHat I ShOulD iNsure hIm For Lots Of MonEy, SiNce YOUng HorSEs Can Be AccIdeNt PrONe.

He AnD His FriEND Joe P. Are GoiNG tO Meet With ME And My GraNdMothEr AnD hAve TEa In FroNT OF A NiCE RaGinG FirE In THe FirEplAce To DisCuss BuyIng SomE NiCe New ProSpEcts.

So I THiNk I Am On My WaY To The BiG TIME. AlREaDy He Is ScHoolIng ME By TyING My StIrrUpS To The Girth. IT Has HELPEd My LeG So MucH.

Equit8tor
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:13 PM
Forget the binder twine and tying up of your legs. Do your GP test this weekend and if the rollkur method hasn't worked then your horse must have corns...and you know what that means! Sadly, he'll have to be put down and you'll be back to looking at that free 6 year old now schooling with a member of some Olympic team...

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:26 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Don't forget your Musical Freestyle Music too! I agree you should do the GP and MFS this weekend before searching for new prospects. When you do begin your search, be sure to research all the variable colors any offspring of any of your horses might produce!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif Oh, and don't forget the string test! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

This is just too funny for words! Thanks so much Jetsmom!

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:36 PM
Finders Keepers- I TrIed To ClIcker TraIn Him But I Am BloNde AnD aCcidentAlly Mixed Up The HanD wIth The CliCker, WitH thE hAnd With The TreaT AnD He Ate The CliCker And Now Is Choking. The ReaLLy Bad ThinG Is ThaT thE horse That Is Stalled Beside Him, IS Clicker TraiNED, And Every Time My Horse tries to Swallow, He makes A clicking Noise aNd the horse Beside Him Is PraCticAlly DoinG cartwheels tryiNg To Figure out WhAt To Do To Get A TreaT. If HE iS Still CHokIng TomOrrOw, ShouLd I cAlL The Vet?
MaYbe I ShouLd PoSt ThiS iN The Horse CAre Forum.

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:39 PM
PLEASE STOP! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif I'm gonna get fired and then I'll have to start a "I lost my job and don't know what to do" thread!

afrikando
Jun. 27, 2005, 12:56 PM
oh crap. i JUST got this new keyboard....
jetsmom, you one funny lady!

Beethoven
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:01 PM
haha lol! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:09 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
If HE iS Still CHokIng TomOrrOw ShouLd I cAlL The Vet?
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's been 15 minutes and I'm still leaking tears of laughter over this one! Lordy, how many times have we all read something similar on this board posted very seriously by someone?!!!! Too, too funny. Thank you again Jetsmom!

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:11 PM
Can You tell I was having a boring Monday? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

HeyYouNags
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:17 PM
Yes, you need to call the vet immediately!

And if that vet doesn't agree with the advice we give you here, then the vet is an idiot, and you need to call another one!

And another one, and another one, until one tells you exactly what we tell you!


P.S. Have you considered that your horse may have been carried crooked in the womb?

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:19 PM
Maybe it's time to call the Animal Communicator again to discuss the clicker-in-the-throat!

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:20 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif
GAWD! I needed this today! Thanks all!
This will def be an all-time fav!

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:24 PM
Since we're already on Page 2, isn't it time for an "UPDATE" in the title?!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:27 PM
Eggbutt-How's That?

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:32 PM
OK - my boss (not BOSS, but real boss) just came down the hall to see what was so funny.....I just smiled sheepishly.....

You forgot to add "jingles needed" although that may be a bit too sacreligous!

My, my I sure needed this one today. Thanks for the umpteenth time!

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:37 PM
I wouldn't worry about the choking...just Ace the hell outta horsey and ride like the wind!

Helen of NC
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:40 PM
UPDATE... YES!!! UPDATE WITH CONFO PICS OF YOUR STALLION!!!

He seems like just the boy to improve upon my 3-legged, 14 hh A/O mare. And sabino to boot!!! Can you collect him today, and get the critters to me by Fed Ex... no, wait... DHL... no, wait... can I come pick it up, and fly it home myself? Or maybe I can throw my little mare in the trailer, and head on down to Texas. She's always in heat, so timing shouldn't be a problem. But, um... she's had some trailering issues (she lost that fourth leg in a minor trailer loading incident; no big deal... she just has a few minor balance issues, nothing 30 days of training can't fix). But if she lies down all the way, she should be okay. Right? Live cover would be best, cause she's the horny type, and I've always wanted her to "get some."

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:44 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

That's it! I give up! I can't take anymore! I feel like I've been tickled for an hour!

Oh, don't forget....someone needs to start insulting someone else.... http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif where are some of these "know it all" posters when we need em?

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:45 PM
Helen- At least if you ever take a clinic with GM and he asks how many beats are in each gait, you will have it easy.
Walk-3
Canter-3
Gallop-3
And you can be assured that your horse will ALWAYS be reaching under herself with her hind leg...or she will fall down.

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:47 PM
jetsmom....Puleeeease.....what are you on?

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:51 PM
...the insults are flying right now on another board! and they are not being spelled with: &*^%$#@*

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:55 PM
Uh-o....could be one of so many boards to chose from! I thought everyone had been suspended for a while!

sabby
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:57 PM
Hi Jetsmom!

I'm from El Paso and am now living in Houston. Love to know who that BNT ishttp://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Indy
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:59 PM
LOL too funny Jetsmom!

Maybe you should look into purchasing an Emu to keep your horse company until the vet can come out and extract the clicker from your horse. Emus are great at calming down horses....

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:59 PM
Hi Sabby! Welcome to the boards!

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 27, 2005, 01:59 PM
don't think this board suspends....but not to hijack this thread - carry on!

eggbutt
Jun. 27, 2005, 02:01 PM
Aw - we've got Sabby and Helen...two relative newbies! Welcome aboard!

Can anyone tell me which boots to buy for a wide calf and long shin?

Hammar
Jun. 27, 2005, 02:29 PM
Eggbutt - big ones? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Bluesy
Jun. 27, 2005, 02:35 PM
*falls off chair laughing*

Bwahahahahahaa!

DeLapp512
Jun. 27, 2005, 02:54 PM
oh my god! when i started to read it, i was like 'god, i HATE kids that type like this..and jeez, why do they have to lie about thier horses...' and then about a sentence into it, i got it...and couldn't stop laughing! brilliant! woohoo!

Susan P
Jun. 27, 2005, 03:04 PM
jETSMOM, i'M SURE eRIN HATES YOU BECAUSE YUR FRUM tEXAS. i THIKN YUR SPELIG IS WEY TOO GOO FIR THSI TO BE REEL.

nEXT TIME TRY TAKKING YUR BASEBAL CAP ON TITER.

cinder88
Jun. 27, 2005, 03:31 PM
Jetsmom....I HAVE to ask.....

Did you have this horse vet-checked before you bought him? With full x-rays and a colonoscopy?

If not, it's your own fault.

And, you realize that the owner of the horse in the next stall is going to sue you, right? Somersaults CAN'T be good for her back.....I can see the chiropractor bills now.

Maybe if you give it a "free" breeding...while your Sabino still has some air left....she won't be so upset? And, only charge half for the papers....you don't want to be CHEAP!

Sing Mia Song
Jun. 27, 2005, 03:36 PM
You know, I've had horrible heartburn all day...and now it's a whole lot worse!

Seriously, jetsmom, I know how to fix your problem with the judge. All you need is a little bling!--on your stirrups, your spurs, your GPA, your browband. Hell, why stop there? How about the bell boots, the open fronts (with or without sheepskin), the matching saddlepad, on the red (green? yellow?) ribbon in his tail...I've got it. Just shellack the beast with chrome Rustoleum to make him stand out and hide those pesky manure stains as an added bonus. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Hammar
Jun. 27, 2005, 03:44 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif



Maybe you could try to sleep with him again? And hold your breath while you do it, it will help him "feel it" better http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif



http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif *burst out laughing* Sorry http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif But this is funny, looking back at it. At first I was like... OMG, how can that person be serious...

Bugs-n-Frodo
Jun. 27, 2005, 03:44 PM
NO NO NO!!!!! If you put bling on your browband, the judge will not be able to see you!!!!!

Emryss
Jun. 27, 2005, 03:47 PM
Really now, folks. The poor lady comes crying and in a panic and all you can do is laugh at her. I'm ashamed.

Jetsmom, you keep up with your BNT. A little poling never hurt, and the draw reins will get him in a frame. Make sure your horse feels that twisted wire if he runs out, and you might consider tacks in the cavesson. Make sure to add plenty of sweet feed - maybe a gallon or two, but more if he still seems hungry after that. Not too much hay, now. You don't want a hay belly. Judges hate that.

There is an extra warmblood where I board. He's chestnut, only five and working Prix St Georges. His owner wants a Gypsy Vanner (I'll see if a sabino would be OK) so perhaps you can trade.

Hammar
Jun. 27, 2005, 03:51 PM
*blink* You've GOT to be kidding...

FLF
Jun. 27, 2005, 04:13 PM
Maybe we could all vote on "how much this horse is worth"??? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Thanks for the laugh - I needed that! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

macmtn
Jun. 27, 2005, 04:18 PM
Maybe Pocket Pony could wade (really DEEP!!) in here with a professional opinion http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif....

dcm
Jun. 27, 2005, 05:29 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Emryss:
Really now, folks. The poor lady comes crying and in a panic and all you can do is laugh at her. I'm ashamed.

Jetsmom, you keep up with your BNT. A little poling never hurt, and the draw reins will get him in a frame. Make sure your horse feels that twisted wire if he runs out, and you might consider tacks in the cavesson. Make sure to add plenty of sweet feed - maybe a gallon or two, but more if he still seems hungry after that. Not too much hay, now. You don't want a hay belly. Judges hate that.

There is an extra warmblood where I board. He's chestnut, only five and working Prix St Georges. His owner wants a Gypsy Vanner (I'll see if a sabino would be OK) so perhaps you can trade. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I agree. There is nothing wrong with this horse that a good strong bit, tack nose band, and draw reins won't fix. If you are a little unsure of the draw reins, add one of those bungy thingies with the cute loop over the poll. Stick with it Jetsmom.

Oh. Wait. Is this horse under 17 hands? If so, ditch him quick. If you want to win in the hunters, make sure your horse is OVER 17 hands.

( http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif )

MistyBlue
Jun. 27, 2005, 05:50 PM
Also remember that sticks lie...so when measuring your sabino GV make sure you mousse it's mane on end and measure to the tip of his 'do...then add a hand and a half.
If you use an AC for his swallowed clicker...make sure you use an ADA approved one. There's one living in La-La Land with one leg shorter than the other...her name is Eileen Andsway. She's especially good at both reading the minds of magical GV's via text messaging and she can run really funny...although only in circles. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Although you might want to leave the clicker in his throat...eventually it'll work it's way out his arse...where Mr Spink is sure to find it.
(He IS your new trainer, right???)
(And shouldn't his name be spelled SpUnk?)

pony4me
Jun. 27, 2005, 06:34 PM
Oh, you poor dear! I really disagree with the posters who suggest you keep your horse and BNT. I have just set up shop as a BNT. Come ride with me after we fill out the necessary paperwork. I need your SSN, bank account numbers, passwords, credit card numbers and your mother's maiden name. All of the billing is paperless and automatic, so that gives you more time to ride.

Of course you probably need a different horse, so please allow me to sell the one you have. I assure you I can get top dollar for him, after we do a few shows with this really great catch rider I've just discovered. I think he's free after the high school rodeo finals. Of course, I have just the horse for you. He's quite a bit more expensive than the one you have now, but quality and athletic ability are paramount. The guy at the feedlot, oops, I mean sales barn will send him over tomorrow. He just LOVES to jump, and they are not sure how long they can keep him. We can negotiate the price and commissions after I get your bank account info.

I look forward to a long and profitable business relationship with you.

Best Regards,

nhwr
Jun. 27, 2005, 06:36 PM
Maybe you need an enemal communicator http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Irish Ei's
Jun. 27, 2005, 06:39 PM
Very, very Emusing.....
Eileen, but I don't sway

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 06:40 PM
nhwr- http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Thanks everyone, for playing along and alleviating my Monday Blahs!

Sue from Auckland
Jun. 27, 2005, 06:44 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HeyYouNags: P.S. Have you considered that your horse may have been carried crooked in the womb? </div></BLOCKQUOTE> I've actually seen a young horse round here recently who was - his nose is bent off to one side - he's called snorkel.

And by the way, you yanks are crazy http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

DMK
Jun. 27, 2005, 06:49 PM
Oh, I'm dyin' here! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Sweetie, just dial up Pocket Trainer. For a small fee I'm sure she will even get that cap lock button fixed on your PC. If that fails, I'm sure breeding your animal to something with color will help tremendously. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

(damn that was what I needed after meeting+meeting+dr. app't+yes dear your hand is broken, please take these x-rays to the ortho group http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif )

Irish Ei's
Jun. 27, 2005, 06:51 PM
But does this miraculous SGV nump or fing????

jetsmom
Jun. 27, 2005, 07:39 PM
DMK-sorry to hear about your hand. How did you break it?
Want me to do a new thread titled "Jingles needed for DMK's Hand...Should she be helped over the Rainbow Bridge? How do I know when it's time?"

Noctis
Jun. 27, 2005, 07:51 PM
I think i strained something laughing...*G* thanks jetsmom for a refreshing, nearly pantswetting, post and follow up comments by all! heheh

RoyalTRider
Jun. 27, 2005, 08:00 PM
There's only one (two-part) solution. Do Paralli training and then take up classical dressage.

horse_poor
Jun. 27, 2005, 08:31 PM
Gonna second what Royal T said-this horse needs LOTS of natural horsemanship training, complete with the rope halter, carrot stick, DVDs, etc.

And you certainly need a stronger bit, such as a bicycle chain. Combined with a tack noseband and draw reins, this will make controlling him much easier.

And as always, call Pocket Trainer. She knows how to fix everything. For a price.

Cindeye'sEvilTwin
Jun. 27, 2005, 08:39 PM
Dear Original Poster,
How old are you? Are your parents sufficiently supporting your horsey habit? It sounds to me as if your parents are not spending enough cash to put you in a position to be competitive!

If your parents had signed up for Cindeye's pre-natal training program, you'd be on the U.S. team by now and winning in international competition with a string of 17 hand horses and at least 3 major brand endorsement deals. Sadly, if you are over 8 years old, it's way too late for me...I mean Cindeye...to help you.

If you are 9 or older, I'd suggest:
<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Paying $175,000 for a grand prix horse that is a steal at that price because it only has "minor maintenance issues"
<LI>Do not tell your trainer, have them see you ride the horse or approve the sale before you bring the horse home
<LI>Do not get a pre-purchase exam. That's just a scam.
<LI>March off in a huff when your trainer suggests that you overpaid for the horse as it is not sound and is too hot for you to ride
<LI>Keep the horse in your backyard and trailer in to lessons with a local trainer that charges less and knows a lot more than the BNTs in your area
<LI>Use a double-twisted-wire-bike-chain bit, draw reins, an unapproved helmet, and custom made pink DerDaus with Swarovski crystals on the capped toe every time you ride[/list]

Sorry I can't help you personally, but I hope this free list will give you a start. Many people pay handsomely just to touch the hem of Cindeye's breeches, you know...she knows all the BNTs and BNRs personally because she used to train them all.

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 04:53 AM
Jetsmom...I read an article last night in the just arrived "expert advice on everything equine" magazine last night and I discovered the root of your problem. The article was written by a BNT/rider who always seems to make the Olympic teams at the last minute...she was explaining "how to keep the walk fluid, connected, through, suspended, bent, flexed, counterbent, counterflexed, relaxed, on two track, on three track, AND maintain 6 beat, bent on the 14th vertebrae with no tail swish" in order to win. I'll fax you a copy straight away. I can't believe someone hasn't mentioned this method to me before!

As a side note there was also a program on RFD about some DQ named AAAAAAAAAAunkkkkkkkkyyyy (sounded very gutteral as though the person was clearing their sinuses and throat) who was explaining how to calm your horse during a musical freestyle by overlaying your own soothing voice to the music right on cue! Just when you know the horse is going to explode with tension, you begin your hum that you've practiced for months at home and the beast will calm right down, just like a baby. I Tivo'd it and will save it for your next visit to my 5,100 acre farm.

MAD
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:39 AM
jetsmom~ You are a civilian. You said you want a free 6 year old WB that moves a 10, and is sound and bombproof, but you might want to add that it must be quiet so that when you go to Devon you do not have to lunge it. Also, a horse that jumps only 3'6 is Old School. You know that a horse that is worth anything can trot 5' and jump speed courses with 7' oxers.

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:48 AM
This thread is out of control. The OP came here *sincerely* seeking advice and instead has been personally attacked. This BB has gotten meaner and meaner and I'm personally sick of the HYSTERICS and all the curse words Gdammit. That's it. I'm leaving for good. Where is the love?

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:52 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:16 AM
jetsmom, I can only offer "yearling" in my defense. But technically it is a fracture of the cannon bone. We should probably just shoot me and send me over the bridge. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Personally I think a moderator should just step in and shut this thread down, but not before she shows incredible favoritism to a few select posters, then bans the rest.

pcwertb
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:22 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:35 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DMK:
Personally I think a moderator should just step in and shut this thread down, but not before she shows incredible favoritism to a few select posters, then bans the rest. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

tcha! *spewing* (sucking up to moderator) http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:55 AM
DMK- If we send you over the Rainbow bridge, you can still come back and post in italics.

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:07 AM
And she could become an animal communicator! Or better yet, a people communicator -- PC for short!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:19 AM
Oh right, I can just see me as an animal communicator "Look, your horse hates you, alright?" Probably not much in the way of repeat business in that business endeavor! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

nhwr
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:24 AM
eggbutt,

how dare you suggest that BNeuroT hums during her freestyles. Do you know this for a fact?! I can't believe how the jealous little people in the dressage world just recycle the same old gossip. And besides I can hum much better than she can, so go have a good cry in your cornflakes

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:28 AM
nhwr- of course, you'd say that!

n= no
h=humming
w=while
r-riding

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:31 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif Dang, that was good Jetsmom!!!! What would we do without emoticons?

Can someone tell me a good way to get rid of flies? Ticks? How about beet pulp? Ever eat any?

nhwr
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:36 AM
harumph, my secret agenda-exposed http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

I shake my heavily jeweled, perfectly manicured DQ fist at you http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

1-800-Dial-A-Distance
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:41 AM
Okay... coffee all over the white skirt... I started this thinking that it was real, had a face of disgust and wonderment as to why it had not yet been closed, then I realized, and "ppffftttppphhhh"... coffee...everywhere... and I'm at work. Sad for me.

But now! I shall give you brilliant advice. Ignore BNT, ignore all trainers, they don't know anything. Read a book on Natural Horsemanship, attend a NH clinic, read a book on Grand Prix jumpers. You'll be fine. Rocks inside the splint boots help if he hangs his legs over the jump and if you're going to breed him, you should let him practice on the other mares in the barn and I wouldn't worry about the lodged clicker if I were you. Just gives you more leverage really....


And everyone, it's time to let DMK cross...It'll be hard, but it will get easier as each day goes by and you realize that this is what's best...

1-800

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:54 AM
We can have a memorial service for DMK -- in a bar of course with pitchers of margaritas. I am happy to bring a pate in the shape of a snake. Then we can cry while eating and drinking like this cryingwhileeating (http://www.cryingwhileeating.com)

Warning: Spencer's video may cause the cat next to your keyboard to run screaming into the other room. Not that I would ever hijack a thread or anything....

SillyHorse
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:56 AM
Here's the solution to your problems, jetsmom:
http://www.learnhorseriding.com/?hop=stgiles

AS for DMK, she's had that "thousand yard stare" for most of her adult life, so it's probably best to just let her continue on...

naters
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:02 AM
I wasn't going to post till I read something about Margaritas http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

I can't believe nobody has told the OP to get her horse a bone scan. I mean my god, if you don't take him to the nearest University vet hospital and spend $394898564905.08 dollars on finding out that there is no problem, what kind of horse owner are you????

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:04 AM
Forget the DMSO, let's give her a bit of a shove to get her over the hump in the bridge.

Jetsmom, I love this new trend of changing the thread title every time the thread takes a one-eighty. I know the moderators will love that too.

naters
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:11 AM
Oh oh, wait !

I you could get your BNT to get the judge to drink a lot of margaritas... THEN sleep with him/her.... THAT might work!!!

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:24 AM
HEY! I was hoping for some venom and reserpine before I go...

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:26 AM
SorrY DMK, But sInce I GoT My New TrainerS PV and JoE P, It Looks LIke it Will HavE To be an alliGator Clip On Your A$$...

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:29 AM
ear, damnit, don't forget the ear too! Sheesh! Typically smart asp junior. Can't respect history and protocol. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

I would rethink the reserpine. Otherwise I promise to be a handful, 1000 yard stare notwithstanding (someone get my glasses please, otherwise its gonna be a 1000 yard squint)...

Holly Jeanne
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:33 AM
I KNOW why op didn't win. It's obvious. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif She didn't have 1-800 pull her horses mane for her. That's all she needed to do really.

DMK, think I'll have to go to the Labrot and Graham factory to get some Woodford Reserve to toast you over the bridge. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

ironbessflint
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:37 AM
Well since it sounds like DMK is holding on, I wanted to know if I could breed my 13.1 hand appaloosa mare to your wonderful stallion? I think the combination of big and little spots would look very nice. Her conformation is pretty decent (you can only tell that she's got a sway back, ewe neck and roman nose from the side, and you can only see that she toes in and is cow-hocked from the front or back). But, I can't afford much, so do you think I could breed to him for free? I think once I sell the baby I could afford my third pair of custom vogels.

Tiramit
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:39 AM
I cannot believe the OP has been allowed to show with that much bute in her horse's system!!! Where are the stewards??? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gifhttp://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gifhttp://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Obviously the problem is that the poor horse has developed an ulcer and needs emergency chiropractic / accupuncture / massage therapy as well as swimming sessions and a 50 gallon drum of corn oil ASAP!!! Also, pull that horse's shoes as everyone who's anyone knows that horseshoes are the devil's work and also cause ulcers and severe back pain.

Shame on you, jetsmom, for trying to compete on an animal in severe pain!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif You can make amends by getting that horse a good, balanced hoof trim + the above mentioned therapy. IF you order these treatments right away, you will get your superstar back in the ring by the 2009 show season.

June
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:45 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DMK:
Oh right, I can just see me as an animal communicator "Look, your horse hates you, alright?" Probably not much in the way of repeat business in that business endeavor! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Or, you could try, "Look, your horse just isn't in to you, alright?"

Think I remember hearing about a book like that... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Prayer Continues, Always
June

naters
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:46 AM
Or, she just should have ace'd it better ?

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:46 AM
I WanteD to Bring MY dog to The NexT show, so I DecideD to give HIm A Bath...
I WasheD him With SpoT RemoveR and he DisAppEared...now What?

naters
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:48 AM
Easy, get him a monagrammed collar with LOTS of bling-bling so you can see him!!

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:48 AM
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT....if DMK crosses the bridge, can she come back and tell us all about it? Can she bring "messages from beyond"? We could sell the story to the Enquirer and then be able to afford the new horse for the OP!

Perhaps instead of jingling curb chains we should jingle tractor chains instead! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:51 AM
Where's Helen? Did we scare her away?

Holly Jeanne
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:54 AM
Can you feel the missing dog? I recommend black paint first and then drop star shaped sparkles into it so it will reflect in the dark.

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:55 AM
Get a black light.....you'll be able to see it glistening.

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:56 AM
You can rename it BLING DOG!!!! Heck yeah!!

hiddenlake
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:58 AM
Wait!!! Was he a dalmatian? I bet he disappeared because he wasn't HR!!! Poor guy. When you find him, paint him black and give him a blaze and a sock or two. Problem solved. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

June
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:03 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by eggbutt:
Get a black light.....you'll be able to see it glistening. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Or you could use a "flashdark". My grandmother invented it and told a famous inventor in radio/television all about it. He told her to not tell anyone else until she got a patent. He was very serious. She was messing with his head. He never knew.

Prayer Continues,
June

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:09 AM
Dang June.....I must be beginning to take this thread seriously! I had to really THINK about your post till I got it! FlashDARK -- got it! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Wonder what kind of batteries it would run on? Neverready?

Helen of NC
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:18 AM
Scared? Moi?

No dears... I'm at a truck stop (can you say THIRD WORLD???) in some godforsaken dustpit, on my journey to get my 3-legged mare down to Texas for her "dose." Spent last night at a nudist campground outside Mobile, and the gophers kept crawling in my sleeping bag with me. Or at least I think they were gophers. Could have been petite, hairy, redneck teenagers out for no good.

Someone save me... I think I've gone Western!!! There's this really, like, cute, like, really cool and awesome cowboy sitting across the way with major bling on his belt buckle (not that I'm staring at his groin or anything)... and he can't keep his one good eye off me. His glass eye's on my mare. Maybe he's kinky, or, like, lewd, or something? I mean, it's not like she's a sheep or something. Well that's just gross!!! Not that I'm a prude or anything...

And if that Appy gets there first, no fair!!! I got first dibs!!! Do you think I should get my mare inspected now, or after the "deed?" She's got some kind of a brand on her hip already... it's a little faded, but I think it says "USDA." It's probably one of them high-falutin' dressage organizations. Bet that increases her value ten-fold, right??? And then I can sell the foal for the big $$$$$$$$$$, buy me some acreage and set up a breeding operation all my own!!!!!! Shoot, I'll trade you my 3-legged mare for your stallion, and we'll call it even!!!!!!

Equit8tor
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:26 AM
Helen- didn't you say you were staying at a nudist colony? So which "eye" was staring at you? Be careful now! Gotta go- off to pull the shoes off all of my lame, sore-backed, 3-legged $500,000 horses. Back soon. Surely this won't take long!

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:27 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif Helen, that's my husband you're speaking of!

Quinn
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:35 AM
jetsmom. Just because he has (had) spots what the heck was his conformation like????? Was there any sign of a club foot?????

http://community.webshots.com/user/ballyduff

1-800-Dial-A-Distance
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:41 AM
Helen, honey, don't mock the poor man, go push his glass eye so that it's looking at you...

Naters, you got ripped off babe, I only paid 394898564905.06 for the bone scan of my baby's ear....

Also, you can learn to ride from a book. I got a 20 minute DVD to learn from, I even know how "stay with my horse's two point" (yes, sadly, that was quoted to me last week...)

and lastly, Holly Jeane, there will be no mocking the mane pulling. I even used a meat cleaver!!!

1-800

WNT
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:43 AM
Don't bother with that barefoot stuff! Just get your horse's shoes from the Chicken Man! Plus, it will give you the opportunity to invest your asp-ets in venomous snake-keeping.

Equit8tor
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:47 AM
ok, back now! All horses are shoeless. Backs seem MUCH better but hooves are a liitle short. They do grow back don't they? If not, will get some of the elevator ones they use on the ASBs.

Helen of NC
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:52 AM
Dang it all... I think the termites got into my 3-legged mare's wooden leg at the nudist campground last night (or maybe it was the beavers...). If you do get some of them elevator shoes, and you have a couple extra, can I borrow nine or ten??? They're stackable, right???

JumpingPaints
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:53 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> I WanteD to Bring MY dog to The NexT show, so I DecideD to give HIm A Bath...
I WasheD him With SpoT RemoveR and he DisAppEared...now What? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Wait – It’s not time to PANIC yet! JMHO, but give yourself some ACE, ISOX and SMZs and then call your BO, SO, BNT, BM, VT, AC and any other SOB that can help! Hopefully the AC will not tell you he’s in a cold state!

And since we all know you were going to bring that mutt to the show to terrorize your fellow competitors, perhaps you could substitute with some unsupervised children and give them lots of sugar?

Holly Jeanne
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:57 AM
Well, 1-800, come on down and bring your meat cleaver. Satinka will require something like that to pull her mane. Oh, and I tried washing my dog with spot remover and it's still here. Oh well, no fewer mouths to feed for me. I entered my first show in ages and first show on this horse in a week and a half. It's intro level dressage on my OTTB. Any suggestions for me? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Equit8tor
Jun. 28, 2005, 11:00 AM
Helen of NC- thanks a ton! Never thought of stacking the shoes! Now I will have a herd (or is it flock) of 17- 18 hand Grand Prix horses!!! Brilliant!

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 11:01 AM
Holly Jeanne....is the judge the same as Jetsmom? Be sure to sleep with them first.

Holly Jeanne
Jun. 28, 2005, 11:06 AM
Hmmm, I'll have to check. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

monstrpony
Jun. 28, 2005, 11:07 AM
It's CONFIRMATION, people!! Dont you no how to spel?

Equit8tor
Jun. 28, 2005, 11:11 AM
Yep, just CONFIRMED that all of my horses are now over 17 hands! Off to post some new ads........

Bugs-n-Frodo
Jun. 28, 2005, 12:39 PM
ONLY 17 hands? Jeez, mine are all atleast 18.2h! I can get across the dressage ring in 3 extended trot strides! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

FLF
Jun. 28, 2005, 12:43 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif Decided to read this while on a boring teleconference - bad call!! Had to hit mute because of the holding back the laughter sound effects! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

SillyHorse
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:14 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Holly Jeanne:
Oh, and I tried washing my dog with spot remover and it's still here. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
But is your dog's name "Spot"? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:24 PM
Feed BOSS and the spots will come back. If that doesn't work, try beet pulp.

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:31 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Equit8tor:
ok, back now! All horses are shoeless. Backs seem MUCH better but hooves are a liitle short. They do grow back don't they? If not, will get some of the elevator ones they use on the ASBs. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm personally offended by this comment and am never coming back to the board. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif It's a known fact that ASBs *have* to have those shoes so they won't rotate and it's the even distribution of lead on their feet that makes it just like wearing a tennis shoe that cushions their soles. You're obviously just jealous as your horses go around on little nubbins and are horrendously overfed. It is animal abuse to jump a fat horse on little nubbins. At least you could numb their feet first with venom like we do.

No dogs or children under the age of 16 should be allowed at shows EVER. PeRIod. End of STory.

DMK, does the alligator clip to the ear serve as a grounding charge for the clip on the asphole? When you come back from the bridge you must tell us what it felt like. I am dying to know. (and if it hurt more than your arm breaking). http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:34 PM
well queasy, if you are dying to know, perhaps you should go first? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

WNT
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:37 PM
Yep. You can let us know how it went in FUnkY ItaLICs from the other side of the Bridge.

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:39 PM
I can't afford to keep my horsey anymore, I'm gonna put him down.

1-800-Dial-A-Distance
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:40 PM
Helen, honey, use legos... Much cheaper and easier... You can also run to the beach and stack sanddollars, just don't let the officials see you as taking sanddollars is illegal...

But nine or ten stackable high heeled shoes is just plain silly...

Holly Jeane, all that needs to happen is a magic hair trim and life will be good. We'll come make Spencer look oh so pretty and Tink (sorry, that's what i'm calling her) gets to start learning, I'll sharpen my cleaver...

1-800

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:42 PM
Seahorsefarmsto be- You're a rescue...If you can't afford him and need to make money, just breed some more and sell them or ask everyone here to donate money for your new truck...I mean, hay.

horse_poor
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:43 PM
Holly Jeanne, do you not know ANYTHING?

BEFORE going to a dressage show you MUST take him in a parade! All of the hoopla going on will help him get used to loud noises and stuff. It is even better if you taken him in a parade as soon as he has left the track-the same day, preferably.

I am afraid you have ruined your horse if you did not do this. Perhaps you should just breed the one you already have and get a new one?

ALso, if your horse has a crooked leg or hell, like the one above, missing a leg all together, did you know you can build one up or a whole new one using elmers glue, baling twine, and spray paint? A guy who shows cows told me all about this, and I am sure it is not illegal because someone told me it was not, and she was a BNT and BNT's know everything.

You glue the baling twine to the deformed area of the leg, or if you are missing a leg, just glue a whole bunch together, and paint it. Voila, a pefect leg.

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:46 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif jetsmom

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:50 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DMK:
well queasy, if you are dying to know, perhaps you should go first? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

... but I'm never coming back. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

I'll just try to channel someone so you'll be prepared when your time comes. Could someone send me money for groceries for me and my horses as I need to quit my job to focus all my energies on communing with the dead? How about an auction!

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:51 PM
DMK's butt before the alligator clip and Electric current- (_!_)

DMK's Butt after the alligator clip and electric current- (_ <span class="ev_code_RED">*</span>_)

Tiramit
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:53 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
Seahorsefarmsto be- You're a rescue...If you can't afford him and need to make money, just breed some more and sell them or ask everyone here to donate money for your new truck...I mean, hay. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that was uncalled for!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif Even hard working rescuers need help paying their bills when sales for an unregistered, unproven stud's services have slumped. How dare you insinuate that an equine rescuer would use the rescue title to purchase anything other than that which is needed to sustain the rescue's charges!?!


http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:55 PM
did I mention I'm taking the rescues to the meatman? that's how the rescue sustains itself!

relocatedTXjumpr
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:57 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

horse_poor
Jun. 28, 2005, 01:58 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Seahorsefarmtobe:
did I mention I'm taking the rescues to the meatman? that's how the rescue sustains itself! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, you aren't going to transport them on a double decker trailer are you, because that is cruel and inhumane, you know.

Seahorsefarmtobe
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:00 PM
well, it is only cruel & not too unusual when their hooves break thru the flooring and scrape the road. it really cuts down on the gas mileage!

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:01 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Seahorsefarmtobe:
did I mention I'm taking the rescues to the meatman? that's how the rescue sustains itself! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You go girl. I'm from Europe and all the land is full up of dead animals and it would cost me a million dollars to bury my horse so we eat them. Horse meat is *highly* nutritious and has more Omega 3s in it than salmon. It is very lean as well so does not stick to your butt like hamburgers. MMMmmmm MMMMmmm good! Don't knock it until you try it. Add some sauteed mushrooms and a nice chianti.

PS--perhaps the OP should consider doing this with her spotted horse. Spotted horses get $1 more a pound I believe.

Helen of NC
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:02 PM
Well, frankly, that just seems like too "cheap" a solution for my darling mare. I mean, really, baling twine and glue??? No, once the termites wreak their havoc, it's papier-mache' all the way (it's what all the fashionable 3-legged horses are wearing now)! Of course, I'll wait till the foal is born so I can match up the colors; it's got to set off the sabino markings 'just so.' So in the nine months of her gestation--it IS just like humans, right?--I'll have to search for something in mahogany, or perhaps burlwood, to replace the termite-infested one she's got now (and it IS termites... they're eating away at the floor of the trailer as I type this on my blackberry whilst driving down the highway on my way to the Texas studmuffin). Hope I get there before they eat their way through... damn this state is long!!!

horse_poor
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:03 PM
Helen, perhaps burlap-it's durable, termites don't like, it has texture????

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:09 PM
PLEASE...can anyone tell me about BOSS and Beet PULP? off to mix fly spray solution.......terpentine, skin-so-soft, olive oil, listerine (brown, not blue), crest toothpaste, repel-x, diesel fuel, KFC Chicken Grease from the fryers, goose do, a smidgen of paprika - mexican, not indian, the eye of a newt and bingo.....no more flies.

Hidden
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:17 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Cough cough, choke, gag..

I'm mortally offended.. I know nothing about this BB but having witness this thread I can spread the word quickly about how horridous you all are!

Helen of NC
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:18 PM
Is burlap approved for the dressage ring? 'Cause once I get my 3-legged mare knocked up tomorrow, we're heading back for that big dressage show down the road. Thought we'd give it a try, since pregnancy is supposed to really settle the flighty mares, right? And what better test than one of those 2nd level tests, right? Just lots of sitting trot stuff, right? All that jarring oughta help get her to "take," too, right? Does anybody have any side reins I can borrow? We've gotta get that collection thing down in three days.

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:19 PM
LOFF the new page 8 update topic title!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

I vote for Grey Goose http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:20 PM
Helen, just use the hay bale twine from your trip instead of side reins. Works every time.

Off to kill the flies....

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:21 PM
I updated the title in your honor Queasy. I wasn't sure if Chianti went with all colors.
I did try to look in my new French cookbook - "My Friend Flicka...tastes great, less filling."

Emryss
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:21 PM
You might want to check that the BNT's poling hasn't rattled the pea loose from between the horse's ears. Forgot to mention that. If that is the case, a few good whacks upside the head will get it back in place.

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:24 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
- "My Friend Flicka...tastes great, less filling." </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

OH GAWD.....I DID actually pee on myself....not good...not good at all. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif Would that be FLICKA LiTE?

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:35 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
I updated the title in your honor Queasy. I wasn't sure if Chianti went with all colors.
I did try to look in my new French cookbook - "My Friend Flicka...tastes great, less filling." </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif DAMN! And I'm fresh out of Flicka!!! All I have is a Palomina Porterhouse in the freezer and I'm leaning toward a mildly oakey chardonnay. Has anyone every had a Friesian?????? I imagine the Friesian filet mignon is beyond words (but all those nasty feathers to deal with).

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:38 PM
The French also believe in playing soft background music while cooking...
That song that goes " Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." doesn't mean what you first thought.

Chester's Mom
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:45 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Ya'll are KILLING me here!!

ROFLMAO!!!!

hey, I'm on a diet...do you suppose falabella fillets or shetland shanks are on the Atkins plan?

Susan P
Jun. 28, 2005, 02:46 PM
I understand that nowadays you can drink whatever color wine with whatever color horse you prefer. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

WNT
Jun. 28, 2005, 03:06 PM
Make sure you have those little wine glass charms: you need to have the <span class="ev_code_RED">***</span><span class="ev_code_BLUE">BLING!!!</span><span class="ev_code_RED">***</span>

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 03:20 PM
Just thumbing through a cookbook here titled "The Equine Epicure" and here are a few entries....

Belgian Frites
Smoked Hanovarian with Horseradish sauce
Bacon-wrapped Rocky Mountain Pleasure oysters
Honey-glazed Saddle of Fjord
Haflinger Hash with Root Vegetables
Spicy Pinto, Beans and Rice

PS-Let me know your breed and will be happy to look something up for you!

jilltx
Jun. 28, 2005, 03:48 PM
Queasy...no Friesian Frikese or Trakehners mit kartoffel (otherwise known as Trakehners with 'taters in the south)? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/no.gif

No shetland shepherd's pie??

RainyDayRide
Jun. 28, 2005, 03:50 PM
or TB Tenderloin au jus
Appy al fredo with fresh asparagus
Gypsy Vanner and Veggie casserole

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 03:59 PM
Jilltx, the rule is I think, the orneryer the critter, the tougher the meat so Shetlands (and other ponies) you really need to marinate a loooooong time and then cook slowly, like 3 days. TBs you want to make sure you get a fatter one that's been a hunter, not something right off the track. Tough and stringy, not enough marbeling. Now Hanoverians -- wooo-wee! man that is some good eatin! 'Specially if they get lots of alfalfa and oats. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Spotted horses and Appys are good as you get equal parts light and dark meat.

lyrical
Jun. 28, 2005, 04:03 PM
oh queasy! Have you forgotten the well aged anglo-arab steak?? It just melts in your mouth... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

hiddenlake
Jun. 28, 2005, 04:05 PM
It's a well known fact that all 'fast' food is made with OTTBs... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:06 PM
Don't forget about SWEDISH MEATBALLS and SADDLE Sweet BREDS -- mm-mmm good! Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer WHeiner.....can you say Bavarian Warmblood? Perhaps a nice Heffawiesen (sp) would go better with the wheiners.

Equit8tor
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:11 PM
queasy- Well I'll have you know my fat horsies are looking rather svelte in their new high heels! I think this may be having an effect on their backs now though.... Anyone know of good saddles for high-withered horsies???? CAn you get push-up pommels???

Sue from Auckland
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:33 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
The French also believe in playing soft background music while cooking...
That song that goes " Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." doesn't mean what you first thought. </div></BLOCKQUOTE> Pumpkin soup now splattered all over the screen and keyboard http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Linny
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:40 PM
MEIN GOTT IN HIMMEL!!!! What a bad day to have a power outage. I missed this yesterday.

Has DMK assumed room temperature yet?

Can I breed my Pintaloosarabian walking pony to the OP's Vanner?

Can I move directly from the baby jumpers into the Level 7's with my borrowed Percheron?
If so, what kind of wine will I need, and how much.

Gotta run, the truck's coming to pick up by rescue and take him to New Holland, he cribs!

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:53 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jetsmom, Jun. 28, 2005 08:19 PM </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why am I absotively posolutely sure I didn't want to see what was there before 8:19 PM? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:55 PM
Don't worry DMK...I just added a little color to the after picture.

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:57 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Equit8tor:
queasy- Well I'll have you know my fat horsies are looking rather svelte in their new high heels! I think this may be having an effect on their backs now though.... Anyone know of good saddles for high-withered horsies???? CAn you get push-up pommels??? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Equit8tor, now you need to assume the position of saddleseat and get you a cutback saddle. I prefer the FriedmanFreedman Victory Pass (http://www.freedmanharness.com/brochure/saddles.htm) with the 'grippy' seat. You will be needing all the stick em you can get with those high heels. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

PS, oh missed the saddlesweetbreads. now that *would* be tasty. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

TBLover
Jun. 28, 2005, 05:59 PM
One thing the OP failed to note in her original post is the show name of her 18 hand Sabino Gypsy Vanner colt-- maybe because he doesn't have a show name?? Can we all pitch in here and make some suggestions for a GREAT show name for this colt? One that befits him, because of course, since no one will notice him in the ring, we want to make sure that its a name that will call attention to him?

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:01 PM
Equit8or- Or you can just get a really high pommeled saddle, and you'll either have the "Orgasmatron saddle" or "the Inverness Problem".

I probably do need a new show name. I used some of each of his parent's names. Mom was "Poorly Built" and dad was "Really Big". I named him "Really Poorly. So the announcer, announces me as ,"Next on course #178, Linda McDaniel riding Really Poorly"

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:04 PM
Please define: "the Inverness Problem".!!

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:04 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
Don't worry DMK...I just added a little color to the after picture. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Rats, two glasse of Ravenswwod Zin later (getting a head start on my dutch - french? - courage for hand surgeon app't tomorrow), I was imagining SO many more creative things... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:06 PM
Oh Queasy! You HAVE to go to the Archives and look up "The Inverness Problem". One of my all time favorite threads!

DMK
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:11 PM
Here it is - Believe it or not, it is NOT titled the "inverness Problem" (http://chronicleforums.com/groupee/forums/a/tpc/f/5406055031/m/2896066031) - but after 3 years, that is what it is known as (as once again, for the 3,492 time, poor Inverness cringes whilst thinking of herunwanted fame... http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif ).

Linny
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:22 PM
Oh Great! Just what we need, to turn this into another "crotch' thread. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Who here rides with Double D boobs?

mcm7780
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:31 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Linny:
Oh Great! Just what we need, to turn this into another "crotch' thread. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Who here rides with Double D boobs? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


Hmmm...if jetsmom doesn't, that could be the root of her problems! Maybe she should get a boob job!

lyrical
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:33 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Who here rides with Double D boobs? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well, not too many ever since that venom thingie...

SoEasy
Jun. 28, 2005, 06:54 PM
Is there some kind of smart asp network around here? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

buff4948
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:13 PM
Isn't it time for a name change and a new title?

Maybe the OP is out loungeing or is it longeing or lunging her horse for the 4th straight hour.

jetsmom
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:20 PM
buff4948- done!

nhwr
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:28 PM
Aren't dwarfs (1 thru 7) the official inspectors for all things Inverness? They always leave little stickers on my thongs. Maybe it was gnomes instead of dwarfs... I didn't realize they had been given probe authority, as well http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Whiskey Lullaby
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:28 PM
Okay, I know that I am slow, but am I the only one totally lost here?

Edit: Not so lost anymore! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

sleepdeprived
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:40 PM
For years I thought I had chronic UTIs and now I know it was the "Inverness Problem" all along, a particular form of rawhide -- HA!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Also, I wonder if DMK's butt may have been red *before* considering her preference for denim.http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

Lyrical, if we're talking venomous type Double D boobs then sizewise I believe it would be more like Double As (when you visit I will show you what I mean). Nice to see the smart asp network is alive and well. I was getting worried there with all the New Moon threads of late. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Pocket Pony
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:40 PM
Mmmm, Ravenswood Zin - one of my faves!

I am completely aghasted, though, at the rest of this thread!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

RHF_cSi
Jun. 28, 2005, 07:41 PM
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:OWbU8kSCvVIJ:www....cottklein.com/images (http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:OWbU8kSCvVIJ:www.bigscottklein.com/images)

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif look at this Masterbates saddle!! Do you think it will fit my thoroughbred it seems a big large??? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

EponaRoan
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:28 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Mom was "Poorly Built" and dad was "Really Big". I named him "Really Poorly. So the announcer, announces me as ,"Next on course #178, Linda McDaniel riding Really Poorly" </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Please consider a name change to In the Nude. Then the announcer can say, "Next on course #178, Linda McDaniel riding In The Nude."

Just think - you can ride In the Nude, train In the Nude, groom In the Nude, even breed In the Nude!

olderandwiser
Jun. 28, 2005, 08:38 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by lyrical:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Who here rides with Double D boobs? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well, not too many ever since that venom thingie... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


Dammit, Lyrical, the one time I was actually gonna come up with a zinger.....

You guys are killing me, this thread is hysterical http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Black Market Radio
Jun. 28, 2005, 09:46 PM
DMK!!! You are still ALIVE???

Darkstar
Jun. 28, 2005, 10:57 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by EponaRoan:
Please consider a name change to In the Nude. Then the announcer can say, "Next on course #178, Linda McDaniel riding In The Nude."

Just think - you can ride In the Nude, train In the Nude, groom In the Nude, even breed In the Nude! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

naters
Jun. 29, 2005, 05:29 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Linny:
Oh Great! Just what we need, to turn this into another "crotch' thread. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Who here rides with Double D boobs? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I do I do! I keep telling my BNT that if she would get a boob job, and then sleep with the judge, while wearing her stacked heels, and cutback saddle, I would win next time!!!

naters
Jun. 29, 2005, 05:34 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif look at this Masterbates saddle!! Do you think it will fit my thoroughbred it seems a big large??? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ok, gotta tell this one:

When I was in grade school, I lived in Greece. Went to an international school, where the school principals are typically called "Headmaster" instead of principal.

So, if Bob Smith was the "headmaster" you would call him "Master Smith". Well, our principal INSISTED on being called "Master" instead of "Principal", because he thought it made him sound more important (he was a snot).

What was his last name you ask? Baitor.

Yep, "Master Baitor".

He never understood why all the American kids would snicker when they said that... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Helen of NC
Jun. 29, 2005, 05:36 AM
Well, I keep telling my BNT that if HE would get an "extension," and THEN sleep with the studly judge, we'd all end up on top.

Holly Jeanne
Jun. 29, 2005, 05:45 AM
Wow! I missed a lot while computerless after work yesterday! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Holly Jeane, all that needs to happen is a magic hair trim and life will be good. We'll come make Spencer look oh so pretty and Tink (sorry, that's what i'm calling her) gets to start learning, I'll sharpen my cleaver... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm sure Satinka would prefer that you call her Tink rather than the "Stinka" or "Scruffy" nicknames that I've given her. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Holly Jeanne, do you not know ANYTHING?
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nope, nadda, nothing! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> BEFORE going to a dressage show you MUST take him in a parade! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmm, I wonder if there is a parade around here somewhere for the 4th weekend? What the heck, I'll take her sidesaddle. I'm sure my little angel couldn't possibly do anything wrong! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Perhaps you should just breed the one you already have and get a new one?
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am sooooo ahead of you! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif I've already done that, TWICE! Daydream Farm (http://web.centre.edu/dajones/)
Yup, you heard correctly. I've yanked an OTTB broodmare out of the field and am starting to show her in dressage! I TOLD you I don't know anything! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Oh, and she's a RESCUE! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

So Helen, I've got the side reins but wouldn't you prefer draw reins or a nice chambon? Heck, just make your whole bridle out of the bailing twine and save having to actually CLEAN it.

OK, I've got the Trakehners but I'm not supposed to have the taters. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif What else goes good with Trakehners? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif I assume the proper beverage is 'shine, right!? I'm sure I won't have any problems getting that around here.

So, is ESG still with us? Has she arrived at the bridge? Has she reported back? Inquiring minds want to know! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Holly Jeanne
Jun. 29, 2005, 05:50 AM
P.S. Sorry, can't sleep with the judge. He's booked with other competitors right up until the show. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/uhoh.gif

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 05:55 AM
Just imagine what DMK will be mumbling when they perform surgery on her hand! In the Nude, Orgasmatron, Rainbow Bridge....they may commit her and then we'll need to change the title again! DMK committed after Really Poorly hand surgery!

lyrical
Jun. 29, 2005, 06:28 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Lyrical, if we're talking venomous type Double D boobs then sizewise I believe it would be more like Double As </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


ah, queasy? "boobs" as in dummies, twerps, beyatches, etc... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

sleepdeprived
Jun. 29, 2005, 07:13 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by lyrical:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Lyrical, if we're talking venomous type Double D boobs then sizewise I believe it would be more like Double As </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


ah, queasy? "boobs" as in dummies, twerps, beyatches, etc... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, well, I was distracted by efforts to channel dead horses and it didn't sink in. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Last night I spoke to Alydar and man was he cussing mad but is having serious fun with Secretariat and Man O' War. He can't wait until certain humans cross over as he will be waiting at the end of the tunnel to kick the $hit out of them.


<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I do I do! I keep telling my BNT that if she would get a boob job, and then sleep with the judge, while wearing her stacked heels, and cutback saddle, I would win next time!!! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I can't tell you how many times this has worked and doing it yourself rather than relying on your BNT (dressage trainers are likely cuter than the majority of ASB ones) is *much* more effective.

Good luck DMK -- hope your blood alcohol level did not postpone the procedure! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Indy
Jun. 29, 2005, 07:26 AM
Y'all are nucking futs, and I love you for it http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Kat the Horse
Jun. 29, 2005, 07:50 AM
Dare I say "Heidi HoHoes?" I believe the sticker-picking dwarfs are about one Heidi HoHo in height.

I'm just about to get fired--reading this while typing case interview doesn't compute with my coworkers. I was just asked "why are you crying???"

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/uhoh.gif

buff4948
Jun. 29, 2005, 07:56 AM
Yup, page 8 butt pics are by far the best!!!!!

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 07:58 AM
OH my goodness.....we have another "places to ride, vet, barns, farriers in Atlanta" posting....somehow our thread isn't so weird any more....we can just keep repeating and repeating and repeating again. Can someone tell me about BOSS and give me a fly spray recipe?

Omo como vey

LongLeaf
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:06 AM
This is great! But it got me to thinking...

Why can't my Miata pull my Brenderup? Do you think I should upgrade to a 4 door sedan? How about sway bars on the Miata...will that help? Maybe my DD boobs are weighing down the car and taking away from it's pulling power?!

jetsmom
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:12 AM
DMK will not be dispatched over the Rainbow Bridge, but instead to a lesser known place called "The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge" (Courtesy of Fleur and Garcell of TMP)

Just this side of Hell is a place called The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially bad behaved to someone here, that pet goes to The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge. There are high fences and heavily locked gates for all of our "special" friends so they can't get out of the yard or release all of their little friends from their own stalls. There are plenty of draw reins, dressage whips and tacked nosebands and our friends are grumpy and irritated.

All of the animals who had been good at biting, bucking or kicking are condemned to have a small child pull their tails and ears and grab their weiners for all eternity. Those who hurt or maimed people are used as theraputic riding horses for retarded demons just as we wished for them in our dreams of days gone by. The animals are annoyed and regretful except for one small thing; they each miss the person for whom they behaved badly, who was lucky enough to survive them.

They all pin their ears and swish their tails together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His vengeful eyes narrow. His pissed off body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the fiery pits and grassless ground, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted and when you and your "special" friend finally meet, he bites you and you smack him. The torrent of swears erupts from your face; your hands again wring in anxiety at the idea of having to deal with the beast, and you look once more into the conniving eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but unfortunately, never absent from your memory.
Then you sigh, and jump into the Fiery River together...

findeight
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:13 AM
i HAD TO POIST HEAR for advISe EVEn THUOH MY FreNDS SAiD THiS WAS A rUDE PLAcE OF sNOBBY pEEPLE.
yU ALl THIK yU knOWW IT All.. I wilL NEVER pOST HEAR AGIN AND STAy ON sNAGArIDE WHEAR THEAy arerr nice..r.

JustiN Timmmerlike is Kol
ReD Raidres Hi rocks
Lost InA dReem
Red roVer
Helocpt Sweat Dreem
Jouniers rULE
From tHe land of Milk and Huney
***fALLow yur Dreems nO Matter how iMmpossible
FUr yu kaN Mik tHEM cUm Treu.....

Helen of NC
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:18 AM
Y'all have corrupted me. Things were much milder over at that writers' BB... but the redundancy in postings was just as humorous, and inevitable (e.g., "I've written the Great American Novel, now how do I sell it?;" "My agent's screwing me... what do YOU think???;" "William Morris won't take my calls... should I just show up at their door?").

I came here for a respite, and boy-oh-boy, have I gotten an education. I now know what NOT to ask (I've made a list to ward off future temptations).

And as for the "Inverness Problem," I'm well-acquainted... try spending 7-1/2 hours in a hard-seated western saddle, traipsing through Yellowstone (UP and DOWN those lovely peaks), WHILE ON THE RAG, and, um, spotting grizzlies. Gorgeous, but... 'nuff said.

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:22 AM
Jetsmom, you have TOTALLY lost control http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

buff4948
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:29 AM
So I was wondering if those fancy new rubber/plastic shoes would stack well or do I have to use those old fashion steel ones? I'd really like my horse to top out over 18.2 so I could sell him for mucho danaro.....

sleepdeprived
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:36 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif
OMG, I believe the OP has moved beyond the "IP" and reached her climax with the rendition for equine divine retribution. Please, tell us more about the other circles of hell dear Dante. What about the special place for BNTs who rob and murder customers? The hell hole for vets who inject venom, nerve and sucker punch horses? The freakazoid, hormonal/drunken off-their-meds COTH posters who Just Don't Listen? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

DMK
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:41 AM
OK, since I am going to the fiery river place, NOW can I have some venom and resepine before we go?

Queasy - today's visit will hopefully just be to determine if we need a "procedure". I'm still holding out for soft, removable type brace, myself.

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 08:41 AM
Helen - you need to read the new topic of "the Great BB Experiment" on Off Course and come back and tell us the analysis of this thread http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

sleepdeprived
Jun. 29, 2005, 09:07 AM
URGENT!!! Please help! Send money, groceries! Recues/Adoptions Needed! Feedlot is overflowing!!!

These 4 animals were rescued from a farm in Kentucky where the owners abandoned them with no water and a dirt pasture so all they had to eat was Dominoes Pizza. They are destined for slaughter in Paris, Kentucky June 29 at 3 p.m. Please stop the madness and save these fillies. Anything you can give will help -- They are ages 2-3 and have been gelded!
We need sponsorship and adopters immediately.
We are ONLY charging 20,000 per filly (plus grocery fee of 10,000 for the last 2 days at our rescue). THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL sound mares, though with a few problems: none are shod, 2 are missing a brain and I believe all 4 have been diagnosed with a rare blood/thyroid disorder (possibly diabetes?) which could be brought under control easily with medications costing thousands of dollars. None are broke amd are a little afraid of humans (unless you have a Hershey's bar in your hand). They can be a bit nippy!
Please view our website, choose your favorite, and help these lovely girls out!

mustangs (http://WWW.funny-pictures.com/gallery/fat_people/baywatch)

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 09:24 AM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif gelded fillies - what a riot!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

How much for shipping to my as yet to be determined board barn in Atlanta?

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 09:25 AM
Ok - this is serious for a minute....what is:

resepine?

DMK
Jun. 29, 2005, 09:27 AM
It's a chemical variant of reserpine that is stronger and makes for higher quality hallucinations. Either that, or it's reserpine without an "r" http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

War Admiral
Jun. 29, 2005, 09:32 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> You have been spotted and when you and your "special" friend finally meet, he bites you and you smack him. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

OMG, priceless!! I seriously hope Avery has his 'puter turned on.

Meanwhile, hope y'all can help. I have an unbroke 4 y/o Arab stud colt and I want to drive him. What kind of cart should I get? And should I just hook him up or is there some kind of, like, training process I need to be going through?

horse_poor
Jun. 29, 2005, 09:34 AM
Liz, just hook him up-then take him in a parade—it is kinda like training him and sacking him out at the same time.

shakeytails
Jun. 29, 2005, 09:40 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">You have been spotted and when you and your "special" friend finally meet, he bites you and you smack him. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You people are sick and twisted!! It's a good thing I'm home alone so nobody sees me laughing hysterically and wiping tears from my eyes!

Helen of NC
Jun. 29, 2005, 10:01 AM
eggbutt... "Analysis?" Oh, honey, I'm too busy playing a$$-kissing-newbie-troll-wannabe to have time for analysis. And besides, "analysis" sounds a tad bit Freudian to me. I'm more into the primal-scream-meets-homeopathic-est stuff myself. I have no "envy" issues... wouldn't want one of them thangs.

But that's just me. Don't mean to offend. That's JMHO. Please don't flame me! Please don't chase me away! It won't happen again! I promise! Unless, er, um... you want me to go. In which case I will. Whatever you want. I'll head down I-85 to Atlanta, to that perfect barn with the perfect BO, BNT, farrier and vet, and you'll never see me again... that is until I wreak my revenge in next year's HB classes at Devon.

sleepdeprived
Jun. 29, 2005, 10:12 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by eggbutt:
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif gelded fillies - what a riot!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

How much for shipping to my as yet to be determined board barn in Atlanta? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

This can be negotiated or you can be met halfway as we have a double decker cattle truck but not sure it would make it all the way to Atlanta. I have to leave to go buy more groceries (hint hint). If anyone knows the breeding on these let me know. They must be warm bloods but as I have never been horse shopping at an EU country am clueless. I'm guessing they would make good broodmares as I noticed some caesarean scars on a couple. I will make sure their sheaths are cleaned well before you pick them up.

Again, time is ticking people.

Helen of NC
Jun. 29, 2005, 10:17 AM
Estonian Warmbloods... nearly extinct, as they have the lovely habit of eating their own young. With proper intervention, and aggressive use of BOSS, this can be avoided.

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 10:30 AM
What is BOSS? I keep reading posts about it but can't remotely determine what it is.

Helen, you're probably familiar with the parade we'll be having here Monday covering the entire state of NC E to W. We invite all red necks from all states to bring their horses of any breedin' and ride, ride, ride. You can drive 'em or ride 'em. All along the way we have vendor booths for Animal Communicators, Natural Horsemanship, Bicycle Chain Bit vendors and we've just added a large booth for the Horse Rescue League of America, so if you don't already have a mount, come and pick one out. Hay string halter/bridle included to the first 3,000 customers. You'll also be given detailed maps of every farrier, vet, board barn, massage therapist, chiropractor (human and equine) and BOSS vendor in the Southeast along with detailed directions from your home. Come one come all. No training necessary.

We're searching for food vendors - perhaps we can talk the rescue league into firing up the pits.

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 10:40 AM
oops...was that last post off topic? Sorry...can't keep up anymore! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

ironbessflint
Jun. 29, 2005, 10:41 AM
sINse ThiSS thRed hAS bIn sOO gOodD FUr mY LuRNinG aBOuT HOrssEys i TiNK iT shoOD b LawNger THin thE WUn ABowT wiLED eiD ANdd wiKiD...uF onLY GoT 180 PAgis ToO gO

horse_poor
Jun. 29, 2005, 10:53 AM
But Eggbutt, if I bring my horse to this parade, should I put her on some sort of calmer? What kind-I only want to use the natural kind.

Do you think this will be good for getting her used to noise and stuff? I think she should be ok, she has only been off the track for 2 hours, so she should remember about noises and stuff, right?

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 11:11 AM
horse_poor....no, no calmer would be necessary and we don't have a speed limit in our Annual 4th of July Ride 'Em/Roast 'Em Parade, so speed won't be an issue. Sometimes faster is better although you may jump several ponies and three-legged filligeldings along the way. You will probably want to wear something other than jeans though so you won't chafe your privates. You might get smoke burns but you should be ok after a day or two. Muscadine wine for all.

horse_poor
Jun. 29, 2005, 11:26 AM
Actually, you know what? You guys are just saying all of this because I did not want you to come to my new barn and see my new 3 legged 4 humped Camoose stallion-he was imported from Europe and has a bunch of brands so he must be good.

So it is NOT me being paranoid. You need to quit emailing and PTing me or I will tell on you.

You are just a bunch of crybabies who are mad.

He is S'POSED to have ribs sticking out, I am not starving him. A few pieces of hay is all he is sposed to have.

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 11:32 AM
Are you in the Atlanta area?

horse_poor
Jun. 29, 2005, 11:49 AM
I'm not saying Eggbutt because you will come and steal him. Or call the animal police on me cuz he is so skinny, and I keep telling you that he is SPOSED to be skinny.

Jeesh.

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:08 PM
No, really I just wanted to add your name to the "all things Atlanta" list for the next poster!

Duct tape makes excellent bling on halters, girths and stock ties!

horse_poor
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:11 PM
Wellllllllllllllll, ok if you promise you are not going to steal him.

No I am not anywhere near Atlanta-my Camoose cannot take the Southern heat.

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:16 PM
Has anyone seen spot the dog?

ironbessflint
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:16 PM
How stupid are you people???? Don't you know Atlanta will never be the home of cold and snow!!

The weatherman saves that for us...

eggbutt
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:23 PM
http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif ironbess, we're pretty darn stupid! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

1-800-Dial-A-Distance
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:27 PM
Which level of hell is reserved for those "oh just hop on him, you'll be fine" trainers... You know the ones of which I speak http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

1-800

horse_poor
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:28 PM
Hey, don't be calling US Stupid, YOU are stupid! Why don't you go back to where you came from, no one wants you here.

And I don't think this is horse related, why hasn't it been shut down yet?

Ohhhhhhhhhh 1-800 those are the BESTEST trainers- my BNT is JUST like that!

shiloh
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:28 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">So If AnyonE cAn GivE me A list Of TrainErs WitHin a 300 Mile Radius, And their Names, Social Security Numbers, Birthdates, riding ResUmes, Turnout Schedules, directioNs to their barns, and Cost OF boarding It Would Be Appreciated. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, aNd doN'T 4get WeB aDDDreSS 4 both u & tRaiNERS so I cn POst Pix Of HORseS on mY WEb SiTe.

Or has this already been mentioned? Whoops, my bad.....and yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a little late joining this thang as y'all call it.

horse_poor
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:41 PM
Shiloh I am afraid that by doing that you would somehow be violating the ADA.

Coreene
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:43 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I'm mortally offended.. I know nothing about this BB but having witness this thread I can spread the word quickly about how horridous you all are! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Call me aghasted that no one else noticed this new one!

Linny
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:47 PM
OTTB's Taste Like Peeps.com (http://www.OTTBstastelikepeeps.com)

Holly Jeanne
Jun. 29, 2005, 12:49 PM
1-800: As I recall my Dante, that is the 3rd level. It's the level with the bronze medallion. After that, you have to have twice daily lessons with the BNT and watch them ride your horse in between.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">The Fiery River Under the Rainbow Bridge </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Finally I know what to tell my yearling (Tink) when she nips at me! I can stop threatening her with the boogey man (she doesn't believe in him anyway) and start threatening her with the real thing! By the way, is that where the pot of gold is located? Oh, and judge says he can fit me into 5 minutes right before the first ride of the day. Better make it memorable!