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View Full Version : Smoking in the Barn!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!



KCINTOLB
Mar. 13, 2012, 09:49 PM
I am highly embarassed to be posting this, and am therefore using my alter.

My husband absolutely will NOT stop smoking in the barn, and I'm at my wits end. Tonight, I went out to bring horses in and feed, and he's in there dumping shavings with a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I asked him what the hell he was doing and told him to get out of the barn. He asked me why and I just wanted to scream, but I just mentioned the lit cigarette he had hanging out of his mouth. His answer? So. SO?! REALLY?! He was like, "I'm right here, nothing is going to happen." What?! I just DO.NOT.GET.IT. I have told him time and time again NOT to smoke in the barn, and he'll either give me that crappy attitude or say something equally stupid like, "it's insured." I don't really give a flying flip if its insured. You don't smoke in the barn! I myself am a smoker. I would NEVER smoke in my barn. I don't know what to do, or say. I am so at a loss because he doesn't really seem to give a care. It boils down to a respect issue and short of divorcing him, I don't know how to convince him just how horrible this habit is and the devastation it could leave behind. Does any one else have any experience with something like this? Any suggestions on getting it through his thick skull that it is NOT appropriate behavior?

TIA

moodymaretoo
Mar. 13, 2012, 10:46 PM
I have some ideas, some of them not so nice.
How about talking about the possibility of it not being covered if it is blatant negligence?
Or the magic sentence...

When you smoke in the barn after being asked repeatedly not to,
I feel disrespected and hurt.
And I think _____________.
I need you to know ______________.
you can fill in the blanks with "you're an asshat" and it stops NOW. or whatever other thing you choose to put in...
Me, I'd probably resort to printing full color graphic photos of consequences, and duct tape them across doorways at eye level in EVERY doorway with a sign saying absolutely no smoking in or near this barn.

It was instilled in me at a young age by my instructor, that anyone caught smoking near or in the barn would be skinned alive. good luck.

fourmares
Mar. 14, 2012, 03:20 AM
Just hose him down every time you see him near the barn with a fire stick in his mouth. A couple of good drenchings ought to get the point across.

FLeventer
Mar. 14, 2012, 03:32 AM
Force him to watch the black beauty fire scene. That was started by a lantern but same concept. That scene has ruined the appeal for flames near a barn.

But really, I agree with sitting him down. He is giving you the pfinger when he continues smoking after you have asked him to stop.

I personally don't know how deep you bed, but at my barn that end would fall into the deep shavings and never come out. Barn would be lit quick.

Whitfield Farm Hanoverians
Mar. 14, 2012, 08:37 AM
I agree with hosing him down. Who cares how mad he gets? He obviously doesn't care about your feelings!
Just another reason I didn't get remarried.

SmartAlex
Mar. 14, 2012, 08:50 AM
Just hose him down every time you see him near the barn with a fire stick in his mouth. A couple of good drenchings ought to get the point across.

A fire extinguisher in the face would also do the trick. Honestly, if my husband showed this level of stupidity and blatant disregard of my feelings, the barn burning down would be the least of his worries.

rmh_rider
Mar. 14, 2012, 08:51 AM
Your cigarette costs this much $XX

The barn and contents costs this much $XXX. Also the fire could move on to other dwellings, and properties. $XXXXX

You do the math.

JUST watched a Seinfeld where Krammer went to a cabin and left his still smoking cigar on the window sill, he left with a gal to go swimming in the lake, the door slams, and the still lit smoking cigar rolls and falls on some newspapers, and the whole cabin catches fire, burns down.

Hmm, cigar worth $XX, cabin and its contents worth $XXX.

BTW the cabin was not his.

First and foremost, I would not be married to ANYbody who smoked.

Trixie
Mar. 14, 2012, 09:12 AM
First and foremost, I would not be married to ANYbody who smoked.

That's really neither here nor there, isn't it? :rolleyes:

Drive NJ
Mar. 14, 2012, 09:13 AM
From an electrical fire, but maybe he'll get the point

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/1239212038059542332FdXZSk

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/1239215412059542332HdAura

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/1239216259059542332IgtPed

We lost three from the barn, Alex was injured (2 years work to get him back to be able to drive, but he'll never ride again)

The barn was a total loss as was the farm's horse trailer which was some distance away but damaged by the heat. Rapid action by the locals kept the other buildings and houses on the property from burning too.

Hinderella
Mar. 14, 2012, 10:30 AM
OMG DriveNJ, poor ALex. I'm glad he survived, but how awful for him and for you.

OP, I would definitely sit your husband down and show him those photos.

Like most men, he's probably sure he's in control of the situation (his response that he's "right here") But an ember can linger for a long time before generating a flame.

I live in CT, and at Christmas there was a terrible fire in which a woman lost her three daughters and her parents. The fire was started because the woman & her boyfriend removed ashes from the fireplace and put them into a non-metal container....on the porch. Hours later, the fire started. So no matter how vigilant your husband thinks he is when he's there, it's not enough.

But I have to say, my first reaction was the same as others...hose him.

trubandloki
Mar. 14, 2012, 10:37 AM
Time for one of those conversations.

Tell him you know he is right but it still makes you worry a ton and can he please not do it just because you would prefer he not do it.
You are never going to win a conversation where you try to convince him that he is wrong and you are right.

Alagirl
Mar. 14, 2012, 10:42 AM
were there not a huge barn fire recently?

I know there are videos out on how fast a house goes up in flames, from cigarette to total loss in about 15 minutes...

Plus a little reminder that dust cand be explosive....

is DH the kind of guy who smokes at a gas station, too?

NancyM
Mar. 14, 2012, 10:45 AM
A local race barn had a "no smoking" policy IN the stalls. Workers who smoked carefully put their lit butts on the ledge of the stall wall prior to entering a stall. The place burned TWICE!

Good luck to you OP. My heart goes out to you. I think you have way worse problems than a hubby who does not care about your barn/horses. I would ban the hubby from the barn, to start with. You don't need his help. Do it all yourself. And the hosing down if you do catch him out there... if you see smoke, you will assume he is on fire and act accordingly.

And quit smoking yourself, entirely. Just to set an example. To do so will make you rich, healthy, and far more attractive. Good luck!

Alagirl
Mar. 14, 2012, 10:54 AM
https://www.google.com/search?q=barn+fire&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

nice pictures....

Kind of morbid but :eek:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrEnHAM9nKk

Ozone
Mar. 14, 2012, 11:10 AM
First and foremost, I would not be married to ANYbody who smoked.

And I wouldn't be married to anyone who puts a jacket on someone for a habit. We all have them ;)

OneGrayPony
Mar. 14, 2012, 11:11 AM
Can you ban him from the barn until he quits smoking in it? I'd show him the pictures, show him why...and then say, I understand that not smoking is tough on you, so you need to not do it in the barn. If that means you don't help with chores, you don't help with chores.

Say it and mean it.

Sorry you're going through this :-/

oliverreed
Mar. 14, 2012, 11:24 AM
I don't understand why he can't simply take a break and go somewhere to smoke that is NOT in the barn. Why is this such a difficult concept?

SuckerForHorses
Mar. 14, 2012, 11:35 AM
Just hose him down every time you see him near the barn with a fire stick in his mouth. A couple of good drenchings ought to get the point across.

This!

I recently built a horse barn on my parents property (I am 25). I know how you feel because one day while I was in there, my dad walks in with a lit cigarette, stands there to talk to me, and I asked him what the hell he was doing smoking in my barn?! He never smoked in his barn when he had cows, he shouldn't be smoking in my barn either. He brushed it of like it was no big deal...I told him that he owns the house, he can smoke in that, but I just bought and paid for that horse barn, it was mine, and he was NOT smoking in it, and I literally left the stall I was cleaning and ushered him out of the building, and closed the door behind him.

I dont' like cigarettes period...they stink. I don't want to be around the smoke, mainly because I'm allergic and it gives me headaces and makes me feel like I cannot breathe. On top of that, they should never be near a barn. Period.

kerlin
Mar. 14, 2012, 12:48 PM
It seems to me like he is willfully incapable of understanding why this is a bad idea. He's actively refusing to understand your point of view.

In that case, the only way to solve this is to absolutely forbid him to set foot in the barn. Even if it created more work for me, I couldn't sleep at night knowing that someone was smoking in the barn. If he smokes, he doesn't go near the barn. Period.

pupakin
Mar. 14, 2012, 12:59 PM
I too am smoker but would never dream of smoking in or near a barn.

Are all the horses yours? You could remind him that while the barn itself may be insured the animals in it are not (unless you have seperate coverage for them) and if there is a boarder or two he will have to pay for those horses on top of the heartbreak of lossing your own horses.

KCINTOLB
Mar. 14, 2012, 01:21 PM
Are all the horses yours? You could remind him that while the barn itself may be insured the animals in it are not (unless you have seperate coverage for them) and if there is a boarder or two he will have to pay for those horses on top of the heartbreak of lossing your own horses.

No. All of the horses aren't mine. I have 2. I have a boarder. This is part of the reason I don't want to paste pictures and signs all over the place. I'm trying to get this through to him without alerting my boarder. I have told him many times that the horses and the stuff in the barn is NOT covered, and the barn wouldn't be either when they investigate and find out that a fire was started by a lit cigarette. Kind of like when he leaves the keys in the truck and I tell him he shouldn't invite it to be stolen. His words? It's insured! Not if they find out you left the keys in the ignition it isn't! I'm so afraid of my financial health taking a HUGE hit by his carelessness and irresponsibility. He likes to tell me I worry too much. When it comes to my horses, my barn, my property, you're damn straight I do. I don't cut any corners. My thought is, if it could happen, it probably will, so I do things to prevent as much as possible. I have had people tell me I need to protect myself, but I don't know how I can do that short of divorcing the fool. Argh.

oliverreed
Mar. 14, 2012, 01:26 PM
Well, with this level of irresponsibility and a major lack of concern for your feelings, I would tend to think that the partnership is not in great shape right now.

ChocoMare
Mar. 14, 2012, 01:36 PM
We have your typical NO SMOKING sign up (and it's also clearly spelled out in our boarding agreement/rules) but we also have the sign that says: Should we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate & immediate action.

But instead of yelling at him (although justified, believe me), perhaps go at it from a more gentle angle: Sweetheart, I know you believe it's no big deal to smoke around the barn, but when you do so, your actions show great disrespect to me & our boarders and the horses. You're basically saying we & our safety is not worth the 2 seconds it would take to put out the cigarette 30 feet from the barn. I'm asking you to honor the rule and, thereby honor me, by not smoking near the barn ever again.

It couldn't hurt to try! Good luck!!

Come Shine
Mar. 14, 2012, 01:39 PM
I have a boarder. This is part of the reason I don't want to paste pictures and signs all over the place. I'm trying to get this through to him without alerting my boarder.

Wow. It's one thing for you to put your own property and horses at risk but a boarder's horse? Your boarder needs to know your husband smokes in the barn so they can decide for themselves whether it is worth the risk keeping their horse there.

As for your husband, aside from the obvious stupidity of smoking in a barn, you may as well divorce him now because he's telling you loud and clear that his smokes mean a lot more to him than you do.

kari
Mar. 14, 2012, 01:49 PM
If he looks like he's on fire, put him out. :D With a hose, or a bucket of water, or a fire extinguisher, whatever is closest.

MistyBlue
Mar. 14, 2012, 02:00 PM
Tell him the rest of the insured world that has enormous payments due to all the preventable claims caused by people who say "It's insured" will drive to your place and slap him for adding to the statistics. :winkgrin:

Since a hose is a PITA to carry, get a little plastic spray bottle. Set on stream, hang it on your belt and then walk over and spritz his cigarette out every time he smokes near the barn or around flammable barn stuff.

Don't get all pissy, it obviously doesn't work. Just like it doesn't with horses. Try training with treats and praise instead. And humor. Always use humor. :yes: Spritz his cig out, smile and smooch him. Walk way singing out, "Thanks sweetie! Smoking near the barn is dangerous!"

If you see him smoking again, aim the bottle at him and start walking towards him squirting. Grinning and saying nicely, "Uh oh...better put that out! I'm getting closer!"

Make a joke out of it, but stand firm on it. If he gets all pissy...it's HIS issue and not yours.

You can also point out that the insurance will skyrocket if there is a barn fire. And that watching the cig doesn't do squat because a tiny spark landing in the right spot can smolder for ages before catching anything. He won't see it.
Oh, and boarder might sue the crap out of you if the barn burns down.

(true or not, sounds bad to DH)

Jumpin_Horses
Mar. 14, 2012, 02:06 PM
Well, with this level of irresponsibility and a major lack of concern for your feelings, I would tend to think that the partnership is not in great shape right now.

honestly....... If Ive tried and tried, and got that kind of response from him over and over..... I think Id ask for a divorce..... seriously.....

there is so much more here than just the smoking/fire issue (which is the BIG issue). Its also uncaring, disrespectful, and negligent to you and your boarders.

YOU shouldnt have to defend or prove (with pics and such) why smoking in that environment is wrong.. its kind of a "no-brainer"

if someone ever blatantly put my family (which my horse are part of) at risk like that they would have to go... period

its a possibility that he will not change..... decide if you can live with it or not, its up to you

I would never date a smoker, or marry one. for many reasons. this is one of them.. but, thats my personal preference.

ETA - insurance will not cover you if they find you negligent.... and they WILL.. and then they will DROP you....

ETA 2 - also, I have a friend who did smoke. his kids hated it. every time they got the chance they would take his ciggys and throw them away.. he could never find them and always had to buy more... it made him mad, but, they persisted, and he finally gave up one day and quit....

LauraKY
Mar. 14, 2012, 02:26 PM
I have to say that if I were one of your boarders and I saw your husband smoking in the barn...I'd be outta there. No notice. Gone.

And I wouldn't accept that from my husband. It's a partnership, respect goes both ways.

jawa
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:08 PM
http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/2012/jan/27/tdmain01-fire-rescue-attempt-spurred-by-friendship-ar-1643610/

This was a caused by cigarette that fell onto a sofa that was on an outside porch. They poured water on the sofa and stayed up to watch it for several hours to make sure that it didn't catch on fire. It burned the house down.

The "cherry" from a cigarette can fall into the shavings and smolder just the same as the sofa. All would be lost.

sublimequine
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:13 PM
I also vote for hosing him. Especially if it's a nice, cold morning. :D

SportNCurls
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:22 PM
I was thinking fire extinguisher or hose too! :)

I'd post no smoking signs everywhere.. I think it is pretty standard at barns I've been too, so I wouldn't consider it alerting your boarder.. though alerting your boarder may not be sucha bad idea.. another person to add pressure.

I'll add to the list of stories about how quickly a barn can ignite. A local barn burnt down after a friend went in to move hay. He *barely* made it out in time. Initially they blamed the hay, but found upon investigation, that a lightning strike the night before had traveled through the electrical box and was smoldering in a corner of the barn.. when he'd gone into the barn and opened the door, that little gust of air was enough to fan it into flames.. it went up in seconds and burned to the ground in minutes.

amm2cd
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:26 PM
Get one of these (http://ellen.warnerbros.com/images/blog/1010/29-smoking-funny-sign.jpg) then follow through.

I did once. On a family member (extended... my immediate family know better). When it was 30 degrees outside. With a dirty water bucket.

Haven't had to tell her NEVER smoke NEAR my barn again....Worked like a charm. :lol:

SmartAlex
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:34 PM
http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/2012/jan/27/tdmain01-fire-rescue-attempt-spurred-by-friendship-ar-1643610/

This was a caused by cigarette that fell onto a sofa that was on an outside porch. They poured water on the sofa and stayed up to watch it for several hours to make sure that it didn't catch on fire. It burned the house down.

Even if it were on the second floor, would it not have been less effort to carry it outside? :no:

CHT
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:42 PM
My FIL insists on smoking on our property (not in the barn or hay shed though) even though he knows we don't allow smoking anywhere on our property (the smell gives me bad migrains and neither DH nor I want smokers around the clients/barn kids anyway).

His response is always to act hurt, like we think he isn't responsible enough to handle the cigarette properly...which is NOT the point.

Have you considered trying to quit smoking yourself and encouraging him to also quit? This would be the best way to know he isn't smoking in the barn.

Otherwise I think you have to find a way to make it HIS idea to not smoke in the barn otherwise he may just smoke there when you are not around, which isn't really helping. Not sure how to do that though.

I don't think spraying him with water is going to help unless you really do want a divorce.

pAin't_Misbehavin'
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:55 PM
So none of the horses are his, right? Just ban him from the barn.

I realize that could be what he's after. But really, if they're not his horses, why should he take care of them? Obviously he's not doing it out of a desire to help you, because he's deliberately putting something you love very much in terrible danger. And he knows he's doing it. Acting like you're the crazy one is just part of the Gaslight treatment.

I'm thinking he's doing that because he resents the work the horses represent. Or maybe he's trying to get back at you for something totally different.

Anyway, your and your boarder's horses shouldn't have to die over it. Just tell him to stay the heck away from the barn and the horses.

KCINTOLB
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:57 PM
No, none of the horses are his, but he'll sure be quick to say "our" horses when talking to people about them. I have told him several times not to worry about them, that I would be the sole caregiver, and he just says, "If you clean the barn, we won't eat til 9pm". So?

Sadly, I have quit smoking before. He was less than supportive and smoked around me, in the house, etc., and said it was his house too and he'd smoke in it if he wants to. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon and got back on them. I am gearing up to try again (trying to solidify it in my mind so I don't fail). I feel like such a pansy.

Char
Mar. 14, 2012, 04:59 PM
I smoke. I enjoy it, and I do not WANT to quit. Many others feel the same way I do. I'm a considerate smoker, and I don't smoke in barns, houses (my own included), hay sheds or upwind of non-smokers. I roll the cherry off when I'm done, grind it out with my shoe, and stick the butt in my pocket to be disposed of properly.

It is nobody's business what I choose to do. Believe it or not, everybody is going to die of something someday. Whether it's old age, cancer, heart attack, stroke, auto/horse accident, etc.

I don't nag others to start smoking, so others need not nag at me to quit.

Sorry, this just drives me crazy when people say things like, "Well, you should quit and that would solve XYZ problem!" No, it probably wouldn't!

Off Soap-Box

BetterOffRed
Mar. 14, 2012, 05:02 PM
Does he smoke while filling his car up with gas? Barn shavings, hay, etc are as much of an accelerant as fuel and fuel fumes.

pAin't_Misbehavin'
Mar. 14, 2012, 07:33 PM
No, none of the horses are his, but he'll sure be quick to say "our" horses when talking to people about them. I have told him several times not to worry about them, that I would be the sole caregiver, and he just says, "If you clean the barn, we won't eat til 9pm". So?
.

So I guess he learns to make a sandwich?

He can use all that free time he's not spending in the barn to make himself useful in the kitchen. Or not, and go hungry.

I'm sure you wouldn't stand in the way of his right to make that decision, now would you?:)

ETA: Just wanted to say I think he was horrible about smoking when you quit. My DH quit about three years before I did. I tried to quit at the same time but just couldn't manage it. But once he quit, I never afterward smoked in the house, or around him. If I had to smoke when I was at home, I went out in the yard to do it. There's no way I'd have undermined his attempt to quit! I care about his health too much, and respected his desire to free himself from an addiction. I finally did quit myself, fifteen months ago - but if I lived with someone smoking in the house with me? Nah. I'd never have made it.

jawa
Mar. 14, 2012, 07:45 PM
SmartAlex,

The sofa was on the porch as a permanent fixture. The person was smoking outside, not in the house, when he dropped the cigarette. They thought they had extinguished the situation, but watched it for several hours just to be sure and it still burned the house down.

Jane Honda
Mar. 14, 2012, 07:50 PM
As an insurance producer, if the peril (fire) is caused by lack of precaution or blatant smoking inside the barn, you are S.O.L. for making a claim. The insurer won't and doesn't have to pay out if they prove it wasn't accidental. Deliberate smoking in a barn isn't considered an accident if it causes a loss to occur.

onelanerode
Mar. 14, 2012, 07:59 PM
If I were your boarder, and I walked in and found your husband smoking in the barn, my stuff and my horse would be out of there in a hot minute. Without notice.

If your barn burned down with my horse/my stuff in it and I found out your husband's negligence caused it, you better believe I'd sue you (if my insurance company didn't beat me to it).

You really need to figure out what's important to you here. Your husband's behavior is putting your horses at risk as well as your financial well-being, and he doesn't seem to give a rat's ass.

As for your DH, I'm hoping he has some major redeeming qualities to offset the ones you've described here. :no:

Chall
Mar. 14, 2012, 08:01 PM
I see a tin shed, three sided, with a comfy man lazy boy (second hand from the dump or street) and a big ashtray and metal garbage can, and a metal table for placing his beer can, with a nice view of the barn or pasture where you are working. Shed is 20 feet from barn.

HIS place where he can do what he wants but still "be with you". Sand on the floor, over the dirt. Safe accommodating, and shows you love him by considering his needs.
His comforts are taken into account. Even if he doesn't use it, he will see that you thought about and cared for him. Betcha he will cooperate about smoking even if he doesn't use it. Maybe you can promise him a snuggle and kiss at the end of the barn chores.
Plenty of ways to skin a cat, no?
:)

SmartAlex
Mar. 14, 2012, 08:06 PM
SmartAlex,

The sofa was on the porch as a permanent fixture. The person was smoking outside, not in the house, when he dropped the cigarette. They thought they had extinguished the situation, but watched it for several hours just to be sure and it still burned the house down.

yeahbut, in my experience, young men can get a herd of cows on a dorm elevator, but these ones couldn't get a possibly smoldering sofa off a second floor porch....

I'll bet they wish they'd tried.

ESG
Mar. 15, 2012, 03:47 PM
honestly....... If Ive tried and tried, and got that kind of response from him over and over..... I think Id ask for a divorce.....seriously.....

there is so much more here than just the smoking/fire issue (which is the BIG issue). Its also uncaring, disrespectful, and negligent to you and your boarders.

YOU shouldnt have to defend or prove (with pics and such) why smoking in that environment is wrong.. its kind of a "no-brainer"

if someone ever blatantly put my family (which my horse are part of) at risk like that they would have to go... period

its a possibility that he will not change..... decide if you can live with it or not, its up to you

I would never date a smoker, or marry one. for many reasons. this is one of them.. but, thats my personal preference.

ETA - insurance will not cover you if they find you negligent.... and they WILL.. and then they will DROP you....

ETA 2 - also, I have a friend who did smoke. his kids hated it. every time they got the chance they would take his ciggys and throw them away.. he could never find them and always had to buy more... it made him mad, but, they persisted, and he finally gave up one day and quit....

^^This^^. Especially this part.

You don't have to keep yelling at him - he knows this drives you bananas, and that it's wrong; he just doesn't give a $h!t. As Jumpin_Horses said, it's a symptom of a much bigger problem.

In fact, I would be willing to bet that if you gave him an ultimatum like "If you don't stop smoking in the barn, I'll divorce your sorry, irresponsible @$$!", he'd be on that like white on rice. He wants you pi$$ed off, for some reason. And that's never a good thing in a marriage.

He sounds a lot like my ex, when he was pushing me to ask for a divorce bcause he didn't want to be the bad guy. He'd be argumentative, aggressive and do things he knew I hated in an effort to get me so mad that I'd leave. Stubborn me, I grinned at him and planted my hindparts and made him suck it up and grow a set just long enough that he'd have to take responsibility for his actions (for once :rolleyes: ). But while he was working on me, life was seven hells, let me tell you. And I'm sorry, but your spouse sounds exactly like that. :no:

Counseling might be a good idea.

Cruiser12
Mar. 15, 2012, 08:10 PM
So the smoking is bad, very bad, I agree.
BUT, I recently moved from a small private barn (3 boarders) The BOs SO smokes in the barn AND has an adjoining shop with a door into the barn where he has a wood stove that he runs during the winter when he's working in the barn. He often tinkers around in his shop in the evenings. I told the BO not to EVER lock my horse in the barn when he has that running, just leave his door open to the field (thankfully that was an option) and he can run in and out.

But I moved recently and no one smokes, thank God

carp
Mar. 15, 2012, 10:38 PM
Your husband is an a-hole. Lack of respect for you, lack of concern for the safety of the horses, denial that his risky behavior could have serious consequences. He's the one responsible for fixing his bad attitude, not you. It's your choice to remain married to him. However, you should absolutely not lock the horses in their stalls at night if he continues to smoke in the barn. If possible, keep them in the pasture 24 x 7 with run in sheds. Sure, bring them into the barn for grain and grooming, but then send the horses right back out again. You probably won't lose a horse if hubby manages to burn down a run-in shed while picking poop in the paddocks.

kathy s.
Mar. 15, 2012, 10:45 PM
I dunno...my solution was to "accidentally" hose the ciggy as I was filling water buckets, several times :D. It worked.

Belg
Mar. 16, 2012, 08:32 AM
Hubby takes no ciggy in or else he gets the hose again...

CHT
Mar. 16, 2012, 11:42 AM
So you tried to quit and he just smoked around you anyway? Wow. That is obnoxious.

Sorry, I wish I had a solution for you.

What about smoke detectors in the barn that are sensitive enough to pick up cigarette smoke?

FLeventer
Mar. 17, 2012, 04:15 AM
Wow, after him smoking while you were trying to quit I would have left his a**. What a jerk.

1sock
Mar. 17, 2012, 09:32 AM
I smoke. I enjoy it, and I do not WANT to quit. Many others feel the same way I do. I'm a considerate smoker, and I don't smoke in barns, houses (my own included), hay sheds or upwind of non-smokers. I roll the cherry off when I'm done, grind it out with my shoe, and stick the butt in my pocket to be disposed of properly.

It is nobody's business what I choose to do. Believe it or not, everybody is going to die of something someday. Whether it's old age, cancer, heart attack, stroke, auto/horse accident, etc.

I don't nag others to start smoking, so others need not nag at me to quit.

Sorry, this just drives me crazy when people say things like, "Well, you should quit and that would solve XYZ problem!" No, it probably wouldn't!

Off Soap-Box

Just wanted to agree with this, I feel exactly the same way (although we do smoke in our house). My Mom has always been OCD about lit cigarettes, ashtrays, fire danger, etc. and I guess it (really) rubbed off on me too. I don't throw butts out the car window either, (that makes me :mad:).

We do not smoke in the barn (major no-no!) but I'm often surprised by how many people we have who have come out to see a horse, and walk in our barn with a lit cigarette and are quickly ushered out (really people????)

OP- I agree that this sounds like a much bigger issue than hubby wanting a smoke while he's in the barn. Best of luck finding the solution. :(

Lady Counselor
Mar. 17, 2012, 06:33 PM
Wow, I feel your pain. Many years ago I knew an old man who absolutely would NOT stop smoking in the barns. And this was at the racetrack, fifty stall barns, tinder dry, horses owned by multiple people.
He got fined over and over. He wouldn't stop. Mind you, this was at the track where they had three bad barn fires the years I was there, one killed 11 horses and was caused by, you guessed it, smoking.
I couldn't begin to guess why he refused to stop.
He finally quit though. The day he dropped dead.
Stubborn old bastard.
I would at minimum, make sure there are fire extinguishers everyplace, working smoke detectors and as minimal fuel as possible (hard in a barn, I know).

Jane Honda
Mar. 17, 2012, 07:05 PM
Hubby takes no ciggy in or else he gets the hose again...

:lol: