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View Full Version : Would anyone else be put off by this? WWYD?



fatappy
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:36 PM
I ride at a small (15 horse barn). All the horses are privately owned and almost all are accomplished in one discipline or another.

A girl found out about our barn and called the BO and asked if she could come out as she was looking to lease a horse. BO knows I have been trying to lease out my TB mare with no success. Based on what Girl told BO, BO thought it might work .

Girl comes to barn and we start talking, whereupon I find out that most of her riding experience was from a western barn that did trail rides and birthday parties. She’s also had a lot of lessons with a local H/J trainer to learn the basics of English riding. I give her the benefit of the doubt and we set up a time for her to come out during the weekend to try my mare. I tell her my mare is not an easy ride and has some health issues (which is why attempts to lease her have been unsuccessful), but she does have a tremendous amount to teach anyone who wants to learn.

After showing up 4 hours late, she tacks up my horse, puts the bridle on top of my halter, and a saddle pad on backwards. She gets on my mare and it’s a disaster for about twenty minutes; she kept trying to neck rein my mare and sitting the trot with one hand at her side. When I asked her to stop she stuck her tounge out at me like I was joking around with her…. I wasn’t. I stop my ride and explain the principles of how to move a horse off your leg, how to bend in a corner, and how to get a horse with an opinion’s attention. After that, she did have a couple of very nice laps around the arena, and I give major kudos to my horse for being patient. When she gets off and hands me back my saddle there are two deep rub marks about the size of my palm on each side. I know they were not there before she got on, and I couldn’t get them to buff out.

I know all of the above (aside from her showing up late) wasn’t necessarily her fault. Clearly she has a lot to learn, and she seems like she wants to. I am not a professional and don’t really want to take away from the little ride time I have to help her. But on the other hand, I do want to lease my mare out. Someone else at the barn met the girl and told her she could ride her green broke horse anytime she wanted, and if she chooses to do that, I don’t want things to be awkward. She says she can’t afford a saddle (and after what she did to mine, I can’t afford to lend her one), and that she wants to take lessons (but I have a feeling that I am going to have to be the one arranging all this).

I think I am put off by someone coming to a nice barn and expecting…well… anything. I didn’t waltz into a barn and get to lease someones nice horse and expect them to teach me how to ride it free of charge. I paid my dues at a lesson barn for years! I slowly accrued stuff and when I was able, then I leased a horse. The more I think about it the angrier I get that someone would be so ballsy. If you don’t have tack and equipment or a working knowledge; you go take lessons until you are competent, or at least know how to put saddle pads on correctly. Am I just in a bad mood? The girl does want to learn (I think), but is it worth the $100 bucks I would get a month for a lease?

How do I approach this now that it’s been a few days and she wants to come out again? Should I give her a few weeks or nip this in the bud?

mvp
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:42 PM
I stopped at "She stuck her tongue out at me when I asked her to stop." Did I read that right?

If so, I'd bellow in my best female grizzly bear, "Are you kidding me? Get the F off, now!"

If I didn't see a halt coming, I'd walk toward the mare's head and the fence with the "You will get off... the easy way or the hard way. But it will happen."

I wouldn't do a whole lot of explaining after that.

I hope you find someone to lease your mare.

Calvincrowe
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:43 PM
You need to decide if you want to essentially give her riding lessons on your horse in exchange for $100/month. I'd vote no, she's not experienced enough in your discipline.

AmmyByNature
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:44 PM
I ride at a small (15 horse barn). All the horses are privately owned and almost all are accomplished in one discipline or another.

A girl found out about our barn and called the BO and asked if she could come out as she was looking to lease a horse. BO knows I have been trying to lease out my TB mare with no success. Based on what Girl told BO, BO thought it might work .

Girl comes to barn and we start talking, whereupon I find out that most of her riding experience was from a western barn that did trail rides and birthday parties. She’s also had a lot of lessons with a local H/J trainer to learn the basics of English riding. I give her the benefit of the doubt and we set up a time for her to come out during the weekend to try my mare. I tell her my mare is not an easy ride and has some health issues (which is why attempts to lease her have been unsuccessful), but she does have a tremendous amount to teach anyone who wants to learn.

After showing up 4 hours late, she tacks up my horse, puts the bridle on top of my halter, and a saddle pad on backwards. She gets on my mare and it’s a disaster for about twenty minutes; she kept trying to neck rein my mare and sitting the trot with one hand at her side. When I asked her to stop she stuck her tounge out at me like I was joking around with her…. I wasn’t. I stop my ride and explain the principles of how to move a horse off your leg, how to bend in a corner, and how to get a horse with an opinion’s attention. After that, she did have a couple of very nice laps around the arena, and I give major kudos to my horse for being patient. When she gets off and hands me back my saddle there are two deep rub marks about the size of my palm on each side. I know they were not there before she got on, and I couldn’t get them to buff out.

I know all of the above (aside from her showing up late) wasn’t necessarily her fault. Clearly she has a lot to learn, and she seems like she wants to. I am not a professional and don’t really want to take away from the little ride time I have to help her. But on the other hand, I do want to lease my mare out. Someone else at the barn met the girl and told her she could ride her green broke horse anytime she wanted, and if she chooses to do that, I don’t want things to be awkward. She says she can’t afford a saddle (and after what she did to mine, I can’t afford to lend her one), and that she wants to take lessons (but I have a feeling that I am going to have to be the one arranging all this).

I think I am put off by someone coming to a nice barn and expecting…well… anything. I didn’t waltz into a barn and get to lease someones nice horse and expect them to teach me how to ride it free of charge. I paid my dues at a lesson barn for years! I slowly accrued stuff and when I was able, then I leased a horse. The more I think about it the angrier I get that someone would be so ballsy. If you don’t have tack and equipment or a working knowledge; you go take lessons until you are competent, or at least know how to put saddle pads on correctly. Am I just in a bad mood? The girl does want to learn (I think), but is it worth the $100 bucks I would get a month for a lease?

How do I approach this now that it’s been a few days and she wants to come out again? Should I give her a few weeks or nip this in the bud?

Giver her a few weeks to do what? Think that she might be able to lease your horse?

I would kindly tell her that you don't think it'll work out, and that's it. All done. Over. If someone else wants to let her ride their horse -- that has nothing to do with your choice.

So no. This situation would most definitely NOT be worth $100 a month.

hasahorse
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:46 PM
No. She does not have enough riding experience and your time is worth more than $100 a month.

kookicat
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:47 PM
£1000/month wouldn't be worth the trouble.

joiedevie99
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:49 PM
Whoa. There is no way I would have let that continue, much less actualy contemplate leasing her the horse. Geez- $100 is about 1/4 of the first vet bill when she does something stupid. No way!

olivertwist96
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:50 PM
Put some Tattersall's on the saddle and send the girl on her way. I would not tolerate this kind of disrespect and claims to knowledge that she clearly does not have.

Sancudo
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:55 PM
I would have no the first 45 minutes she was late! God forbid she is crunched for time but wants to ride- I'm sure I'd be like 20 minutes of yahooing around with no warm up and then put up wet. Or she might ride for 4 hours one day. Not dependendable with no respect of time, and horses do not mix well, no matter how good the rider. It's the horsemanship too.

SendenHorse
Mar. 6, 2012, 05:58 PM
She doesn't know what she doesn't know. Its just not a good fit. Hope you find the right person.

Lucassb
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:03 PM
I do not think it was "ballsy" for a relatively novice person to show up - disclosing most of her experience on hack horses etc - and try a potential lease horse without having the level of skill you are looking for. Not everyone waits until they are super proficient to lease a horse, and there is nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of novices who lease saints as they are starting out/not very proficient... the value of those horses is related more closely to what they will tolerate, rather than on any particular talent or skill level they possess.

Lease transactions are all about finding a rider who "fits well enough" with a horse that "is good enough" for the situation to work out reasonably well for all concerned. Generally speaking, in situations like this, both sides often have to make compromises (the rider is probably not Medal/Maclay material, but the horse might not be, either, as the OP suggests she is not easy and has health issues.)

That said, it doesn't sound like this is a good fit and for the relatively modest lease amount, I personally would decline the deal.

Crown Royal
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:12 PM
No way would I let her lease my horse. No way. The moment she stuck her tongue out at me and continued riding, I would have taken my horse's reins and told her to get off.

Actually, I would not have allowed her to even try my horse had she shown up 4 hours late. Disrespectful.

The saddle thing would irritate me as well.

Opus1
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:16 PM
I stopped at "She stuck her tongue out at me when I asked her to stop." Did I read that right?


Being four hours late, tacking up wrong and then sticking her tongue out would have been it for me.

Neigh-Neigh
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:17 PM
Start running...that way---------------------->

17hTBmare
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:24 PM
Accident waiting to happen.

Gracious
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:30 PM
I think you would be crazy to lease your horse to the girl. Not worth it.

findeight
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:34 PM
Getting the tack on wrong was partly she just did not know and partly ranch horse style with the bridle over the halter. But you are looking for a leassor, not a student...she would not have gotten the tack on at all for me at 4 hours late though. Pretty disrespectful and a bad sign.

Unless you want to be there all the time every time she is for quite awhile or require her to only ride in the presence of the trainer or in a lesson and write that into the lease?

Not a great choice for a leassor. And don't worry about being "nice" or feeling guilty for saying no. You need a trustworthy lease partner for the good of your horse, that is what's important here.

OverandOnward
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:40 PM
If you want a life of barn drama, lease your horse to this girl.

If you don't, just say this isn't the match you were looking for and move on.

:)

olivertwist96
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:45 PM
If you want a life of barn drama, lease your horse to this girl.

If you don't, just say this isn't the match you were looking for and move on.

:)

:yes::yes::yes:

kashmere
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:46 PM
No. Way.

I am in the early stages of a part-lease with my mare right now. On the day we met for the first time, she showed up promptly (literally not one minute late! I would have forgiven 10 or 15 minutes!), asked intelligent questions about the tack I was using, mare's history/training etc., and was laid back and open about any questions I had for her.

During her test ride, she wasn't a perfect rider. She's been a once a week rider for many, many years, so she's got a lot of "holes" in her education. BUT, she was quiet, patted my mare a lot, and they rubbed along well together. I gave her one or two little pointers, which she accepted and tried out. After the ride, she thanked me.

She sent me money on time (early!) emails or calls when she needs to change her schedule, and lets me know about anything going on with my mare, or if she has a question.

That is how leases should work!!!

This girl sounds young, so some etiquette and finesse while riding may be forgiven, but HOLY CRAP! Even if she does turn out to be a nice enough person, putting a saddle pad on backward is an indicator that she's not in a position to safely handle a horse in a one-on-one situation. Yikes. Definitely not worth $100.00/month. As Kookicat said, not even for $1000.00/month! Not worth the headache.

My mare's got some health issues, too. There are good lessees out there, the right one will come along! (This is my second good lease for this mare, and they've both been great).

ReSomething
Mar. 6, 2012, 06:55 PM
She doesn't know what she doesn't know. Its just not a good fit. Hope you find the right person.

You've had a lot of really good answers but this one sort of boils it down to what I think. Better luck next time.

Trevelyan96
Mar. 6, 2012, 07:02 PM
Sounds a lot like a girl I had come out to ride Rico who advertised herself as an experienced rider looking for someone to pay her to exercise horses. The girl did not know how to tack up correctly, slammed on his back, threw him off balance, then grabbed his mouth, so he dumped her. Rico is NOT a complicated ride. He's out of shape and needs his work ethic re-installed, but any advanced beginner can handle him just fine. She just plain couldn't ride. I got on to remind him that dumping his rider doesn't mean he's done working with no issues. She then informed me that he needed 'ground work', which would cost extra, LOL. I just told her that given his behaviour, I did not feel comfortable having anyone but me or my trainer ride him at this time.

OP, I'm telling this story because I think you might want to hesitate to let this girl lease your horse unless you want to risk her ruining her. Some young people who only ride school horses think they're better than they are, and it sounds like your mare needs a rider with a little more skill and education.

Rel6
Mar. 6, 2012, 07:19 PM
Whoa. There is no way I would have let that continue, much less actualy contemplate leasing her the horse. Geez- $100 is about 1/4 of the first vet bill when she does something stupid. No way!

This.

pinkpony321
Mar. 6, 2012, 09:05 PM
After her being FOUR HOURS late, there is no way i would have let her out of the car, let alone ride the horse. Keep looking- if your mare is tolerant of that kid of ride, there's got to be a responsible adult/teen out there that you just haven't connected with yet.

incentive
Mar. 6, 2012, 09:28 PM
NO WAY!!! She stuck her tongue out at you??????? She needs to carry her butt down the road. Your mare does not deserve this and neither do you.

fatappy
Mar. 6, 2012, 09:47 PM
Thank you, everyone for your comments! I think I was too dumbfounded by her sticking her tongue out to process it. :p



I would have no the first 45 minutes she was late! God forbid she is crunched for time but wants to ride- I'm sure I'd be like 20 minutes of yahooing around with no warm up and then put up wet. Or she might ride for 4 hours one day. Not dependendable with no respect of time, and horses do not mix well, no matter how good the rider. It's the horsemanship too.

Thank you for this. I think you hit the nail on the head, and I do feel like this is almost a guarantee. Not worth it. My mare has paid her dues to me, and I owe it to find someone more responsible.

supershorty628
Mar. 6, 2012, 09:55 PM
My mother would have tanned my hide if I ever showed that kind of disrespect as a child. She probably would now if I did something like that!

Run far, far away!

TotB
Mar. 6, 2012, 10:31 PM
I agree that you should run, and run fast. She has already shown a complete lack of respect for your time, property, and self. I don't see that changing considering her attitude. For $100 per month, she should consider riding your horse a privilege and treat it as such.

Honestly, I am offended on your behalf.

ohrebecca
Mar. 6, 2012, 10:53 PM
I would decline to have her come out and ride your mare again. 4 hours late, tacking up wrong (did you point it out?), and sticking her tongue out are contributing factors.

ReeseTheBeast
Mar. 7, 2012, 06:11 AM
Sounds a lot like a girl I had come out to ride Rico who advertised herself as an experienced rider looking for someone to pay her to exercise horses. The girl did not know how to tack up correctly, slammed on his back, threw him off balance, then grabbed his mouth, so he dumped her. Rico is NOT a complicated ride. He's out of shape and needs his work ethic re-installed, but any advanced beginner can handle him just fine. She just plain couldn't ride. I got on to remind him that dumping his rider doesn't mean he's done working with no issues. She then informed me that he needed 'ground work', which would cost extra, LOL. I just told her that given his behaviour, I did not feel comfortable having anyone but me or my trainer ride him at this time.

OP, I'm telling this story because I think you might want to hesitate to let this girl lease your horse unless you want to risk her ruining her. Some young people who only ride school horses think they're better than they are, and it sounds like your mare needs a rider with a little more skill and education.


Yikes!!! (of course I'm dying to know who this person is!)

bizbachfan
Mar. 7, 2012, 06:57 AM
Just curious why were you even still waiting for her after 4 hours? After 1/2 an hour I would have given up. My experience is people who pull something like that have zero respect for other people's time or property, (including your horse.) If she does show up again and ride the other boarder's horse steer clear! If she asks about your horse again be firm, you need a more experienced rider for your horse.

S1969
Mar. 7, 2012, 07:15 AM
But you are looking for a leassor, not a student...

Unless you want to be there all the time every time she is for quite awhile or require her to only ride in the presence of the trainer or in a lesson and write that into the lease?

Not a great choice for a leassor. And don't worry about being "nice" or feeling guilty for saying no. You need a trustworthy lease partner for the good of your horse, that is what's important here.

This. I would also worry about having to carry insurance if you have to give her a "lesson" every time she gets on.

She needs to find a place to take lessons. If she can't afford them, then she can wait until she's 35 to start learning like I had to. ;)

HobbyHorse101
Mar. 7, 2012, 08:14 AM
In that situation no, novice riders have to earn the right to lease a horse. My sister had a horse for years that I was not allowed to ride because I had not ridden enough lesson horses first.

trubandloki
Mar. 7, 2012, 08:53 AM
Her calling looking for a lease does not bug me at all. Her not having a clue how your saddle pads work does not bug me at all (if it was the second time after her being shown how your saddle pads work then it would be a red flag). Her being green does not bug me at all.

The problems that scream this is not a good fit are that she showed up four hours late (and you still let her ride, talk about being a door mat) and her sticking her tongue out at you when you tried to teach her what to do.
Her not knowing how to ride your mare is not a red flag, you even say she is not an easy ride. The red flag comes in when what she was doing was obviously not working and she did not ask you for input on what this horse likes, etc.


Just curious why were you even still waiting for her after 4 hours? After 1/2 an hour I would have given up. My experience is people who pull something like that have zero respect for other people's time or property, (including your horse.) If she does show up again and ride the other boarder's horse steer clear! If she asks about your horse again be firm, you need a more experienced rider for your horse.
I agree with this.

wcporter
Mar. 7, 2012, 09:17 AM
Would not consider it for one second.

fatappy
Mar. 7, 2012, 09:21 AM
I wasn't hanging around the barn staring down the driveway looking for her car. When she missed the 15 minutes window I went about my business and rode the other horses I had to ride, etc. Then when she did get there she gave me some sob story about how her cell phone stopped working and she had to go get it fixed.

My BO always says "if you have the opportunity to help somebody, do it" and that's what I was trying to do. :sigh:

Eggplant_Dressing
Mar. 7, 2012, 09:32 AM
Stuck her tounge out at you? Doesn't know how to tack up a horse? She sounds spoiled and I wouldn't lease a horse to her at all. From the sounds of it, she needs manners and lessons in both horsemanship and equitation.

Patty Stiller
Mar. 7, 2012, 09:38 AM
Stuck her tongue out at you? :eek:I would have immediately stopped her, and if she did not dismount and leave willingly, I would likely have physically YANKED her off the horse and sent her away. Run away from her asap. She is bad news.

findeight
Mar. 7, 2012, 09:39 AM
To whoever said those who ride school horses often think they are better then they are?

Not anywhere near the number of those with personal horses who think they are better then they are;).

I got no problem with a novice who wants to learn and is willing to listen, what they ride has nothing to do with it.

For the OP...be SURE you tell your BO/trainer that NOBODY rides your horse without your express WRITTEN consent. Just in case that kid does pick up a ride on another in your barn...or your BO gets bright ideas without input from you. And please don't assume they are your BFF and would never do that...yeah, given the right circumstance$, alot of them would.

onelanerode
Mar. 7, 2012, 09:42 AM
No. Way.

I am in the early stages of a part-lease with my mare right now. On the day we met for the first time, she showed up promptly (literally not one minute late! I would have forgiven 10 or 15 minutes!), asked intelligent questions about the tack I was using, mare's history/training etc., and was laid back and open about any questions I had for her.

During her test ride, she wasn't a perfect rider. She's been a once a week rider for many, many years, so she's got a lot of "holes" in her education. BUT, she was quiet, patted my mare a lot, and they rubbed along well together. I gave her one or two little pointers, which she accepted and tried out. After the ride, she thanked me.

She sent me money on time (early!) emails or calls when she needs to change her schedule, and lets me know about anything going on with my mare, or if she has a question.

That is how leases should work!!!



This. I know you want to lease your mare out, but you owe it to your horse to find the right person. This girl is not that person. :o:no:

bizbachfan
Mar. 7, 2012, 09:53 AM
I wasn't hanging around the barn staring down the driveway looking for her car. When she missed the 15 minutes window I went about my business and rode the other horses I had to ride, etc. Then when she did get there she gave me some sob story about how her cell phone stopped working and she had to go get it fixed.

My BO always says "if you have the opportunity to help somebody, do it" and that's what I was trying to do. :sigh:

You sound like a very nice person! Sorry I was just curious. I probably would have done the same thing against my better judgement :) So her cell stopped working and getting that fixed took precedence over keeping her appointment with you? Hmmm red flag. You know the right thing to do. It's all great to try to help someone out but not at the risk to you, your horse and your sanity. Hoping you find a perfect fit person to lease your horse soon.

mg
Mar. 7, 2012, 11:05 AM
I think I am put off by someone coming to a nice barn and expecting…well… anything. I didn’t waltz into a barn and get to lease someones nice horse and expect them to teach me how to ride it free of charge. I paid my dues at a lesson barn for years! I slowly accrued stuff and when I was able, then I leased a horse. The more I think about it the angrier I get that someone would be so ballsy. If you don’t have tack and equipment or a working knowledge; you go take lessons until you are competent, or at least know how to put saddle pads on correctly. Am I just in a bad mood? The girl does want to learn (I think), but is it worth the $100 bucks I would get a month for a lease?

...Seriously? Someone calls your BO inquiring about available lease horses, the BO refers her to you, and you set up a trial ride. How does that in ANY way translate to someone "waltzing" into a barn and "expecting" things or being "ballsy"? I didn't see anywhere in your post that this girl claimed to be a super experienced rider. Based on the description (trail/birthday party barn and a couple basic h/j lessons), it sounds like her riding ability matched what she told you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a novice rider wanting to lease a horse.

Yes, it was rude of her to show up so late. Yes, it sounds as though her attitude towards you while riding was inappropriate. No, she does not sound like a good match for your horse and I would decline a lease agreement with her. But she is not at fault for taking up an offer to trial ride a potential lease horse.

danceronice
Mar. 7, 2012, 11:25 AM
Just curious why were you even still waiting for her after 4 hours? After 1/2 an hour I would have given up. My experience is people who pull something like that have zero respect for other people's time or property, (including your horse.) If she does show up again and ride the other boarder's horse steer clear! If she asks about your horse again be firm, you need a more experienced rider for your horse.

Really, I am not bothered by rubs on the saddle (this is why I don't spend $4000 on leather I'm going to sit on), and I would have just politely corrected her about the bridle-over-halter (that's totally normal in many places) and the saddle pad being back backwards (was it a fitted pad? How do you put that on wrong? If it was a baby pad, whatever, they're rectangles, as long as you mean "backwards" and not "upside down".) Nor would jogging or sitting the trot or riding one-handed have surprised me if I already knew she was from a primarily Western background (did you tell her "This horse doesn't neck rein?")

But FOUR HOURS LATE? Without a phone call to say so? I wouldn't have been there when she arrived. Maybe I go overboard the other way (calling if I'm running ten minutes late) but ye gods, that's beyond the pale.

Crown Royal
Mar. 7, 2012, 11:43 AM
Then when she did get there she gave me some sob story about how her cell phone stopped working and she had to go get it fixed.


Even worse...missing an appointment with you over going to the store and having her phone fixed? Not okay. I'm a young person (and am admittedly attached to my cell phone), but in this case, the cell phone can and should have waited. That circumstance was her fault- no one else's- and she should have taken the fault for it.

Hope you will not be allowing her to lease your horse. Sounds like she needs to just pay for more lesson time instead of paying for a lease and unsupervised ride time (on someone else's horse). I was still young and a novice when we got my first pony and brought her to our small farm, but I had already learned to groom properly, tack up properly, ride safely at three gaits and over small jumps, and follow directions from my aunt on her pony (as well as the barn chores). And I definitely had manners! Even at such a young age I knew I had a suitable first on-my-own pony because she was older, a packer, and had been through many, many kids before me.

I may have had my aunt to guide me to the right type of horse, but I still had manners!

fatappy
Mar. 7, 2012, 11:51 AM
;)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a novice rider wanting to lease a horse.

Agree 100%, but I do feel that a novice rider should be at a barn with a trainer, and school horses, and equipment that can be borrowed. I assumed (not sure why), that if you felt you didn't need to be in a lesson barn that you skills would be such that you can go trot around an arena. I am sure there are some people at trail barns that can ride circles around me. That's what I was expecting. But I got a rider who at one point I had to ask, "do you know how to steer." That is not someone that is ready to be away from trainer supervision. Ballsy is to aggressive of a word, you're right. But come on. Don't tell me you've had lots of english lessons and you haven't heard of diagonals or that you can't tack up correctly.

Also, not sure how what I posted got turned into a trail ride, but that's not what it was. On a leisurely trail ride, meh, relax and ride with one hand. But not in the arena when someone is trying to teach you something. That is ballsy ;)

trubandloki
Mar. 7, 2012, 11:53 AM
Then when she did get there she gave me some sob story about how her cell phone stopped working and she had to go get it fixed.
And that took four hours? Gosh, the cell store must have been REALLY busy.
And once fixed she could not call you to say what happened and ask if you were able to reschedule?

meupatdoes
Mar. 7, 2012, 11:54 AM
I stopped after "4 hours late".

If somebody showed up 4 hours late to ride my horse I would be at a completely different barn riding the next two horses on my list by then.

You really want to let her bring her clueless train into your life and leave you to right her entire cattywompus riding ethos on its axis and try to chisel in a riding education while you are at it?

And for $100 a month??!

Crown Royal
Mar. 7, 2012, 11:59 AM
;)

Agree 100%, but I do feel that a novice rider should be at a barn with a trainer, and school horses, and equipment that can be borrowed. I assumed (not sure why), that if you felt you didn't need to be in a lesson barn that you skills would be such that you can go trot around an arena. I am sure there are some people at trail barns that can ride circles around me. That's what I was expecting. But I got a rider who at one point I had to ask, "do you know how to steer." That is not someone that is ready to be away from trainer supervision. Ballsy is to aggressive of a word, you're right. But come on. Don't tell me you've had lots of english lessons and you haven't heard of diagonals or that you can't tack up correctly.


Agree with you there. I would not have been allowed to lease or own a horse if I could not tack it up without help and at least trot safely without being told what to do. And I was seven when I learned how to properly tack up my aunt's pony...it took that long because that's when I was tall enough to get the saddle up and reach his head. :winkgrin: I wouldn't have known what to do as far as tacking up had I wanted to purchase a western horse, but that's why we went looking for an english pony with english tack. :lol: After a year of this girl taking lessons in a hunter/jumper barn it is expected that she should be able to tack up. There are not many differences in basic english saddle pads that a teen or adult with a year of English riding experience should not be able to figure out. That's typically one of the first lessons in a normal english lesson barn...how to tack up.

mg
Mar. 7, 2012, 12:10 PM
Also, not sure how what I posted got turned into a trail ride, but that's not what it was.

Trial--as in test--not trail.

wcporter
Mar. 7, 2012, 12:11 PM
IThen when she did get there she gave me some sob story about how her cell phone stopped working and she had to go get it fixed.


I bet her dog ate her homwork too.

lilmisshunter
Mar. 7, 2012, 12:36 PM
Not a good fit, it's that simple. DON'T DO IT!

lachevaline
Mar. 7, 2012, 01:34 PM
After showing up 4 hours late

I would be put off by this. Not to mention the other stuff, but if someone shows up four hours late without a DAMN good excuse they aren't seriously interested.

Trixie
Mar. 7, 2012, 02:11 PM
Agree 100%, but I do feel that a novice rider should be at a barn with a trainer, and school horses, and equipment that can be borrowed. I assumed (not sure why), that if you felt you didn't need to be in a lesson barn that you skills would be such that you can go trot around an arena. I am sure there are some people at trail barns that can ride circles around me. That's what I was expecting. But I got a rider who at one point I had to ask, "do you know how to steer." That is not someone that is ready to be away from trainer supervision. Ballsy is to aggressive of a word, you're right. But come on. Don't tell me you've had lots of english lessons and you haven't heard of diagonals or that you can't tack up correctly.

Maybe she just doesn't know what she doesn't know. If you don't get started in environment with a trainer and lessons, you may not know what to expect.

This to me is over the top:


I think I am put off by someone coming to a nice barn and expecting…well… anything. I didn’t waltz into a barn and get to lease someones nice horse and expect them to teach me how to ride it free of charge. I paid my dues at a lesson barn for years! I slowly accrued stuff and when I was able, then I leased a horse. The more I think about it the angrier I get that someone would be so ballsy

She just sounds like a novice. Maybe a PITA novice who isn't the right fit for you, but it's not as if she asked you to hand her a nice horse for free. Did she "expect" you to teach her how to ride it or did she just not realize she didn't know?

Obviously, she isn't the right fit for you, but I think perhaps your reaction is excessive.

(not the late part. I'd be pissed about that too)

ontherocks
Mar. 7, 2012, 03:28 PM
Lurker here... I wanted to jump in and address your point of the other girl at your barn offering for this person to ride her horse and you not wanting it to be awkward. I think as long as you let her know in a sensible, professional manner that unfortunately you don't think it's a good fit, it should not be awkward. Even if it does become awkward, you need to do what you think is right for you and your mare. Letting someone you know is not right for your horse continue with a lease would be far worse than any awkwardness of seeing this girl around the barn. Clearly you don't think this girl is a good fit. A lease trial is a trial from both ends - she's trying the horse to see if it's a fit for her, and at the same time you need to make sure you feel as though she's a good fit for your horse.

And don't give it a few weeks. That just strings things along and will probably make things worse when you have to tell her "no."

Milocalwinnings
Mar. 7, 2012, 03:55 PM
;)

Agree 100%, but I do feel that a novice rider should be at a barn with a trainer, and school horses, and equipment that can be borrowed. I assumed (not sure why), that if you felt you didn't need to be in a lesson barn that you skills would be such that you can go trot around an arena. I am sure there are some people at trail barns that can ride circles around me. That's what I was expecting. But I got a rider who at one point I had to ask, "do you know how to steer." That is not someone that is ready to be away from trainer supervision. Ballsy is to aggressive of a word, you're right. But come on. Don't tell me you've had lots of english lessons and you haven't heard of diagonals or that you can't tack up correctly.

Also, not sure how what I posted got turned into a trail ride, but that's not what it was. On a leisurely trail ride, meh, relax and ride with one hand. But not in the arena when someone is trying to teach you something. That is ballsy ;)


Obviously you were the one who saw her ride so I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Think about this. If she went to a western based barn, tacked and got on a western trained horse, would her skills as a rider been as seemingly bad/frightening as they were on your english horse, with your english horsemanship knowledge?

I rode for a few years at a western barn. I could tack up with western tack, walk/trot/canter well in a western saddle. I neck reined, posted the trot, had no idea about the typical "english" things such as diagonals or "inside rein, outside leg". In a western world, I was a decent rider... still had a lot to learn if I wanted to get into barrel racing or competitions, but for just ring work or herding cattle, I was good.

I then moved to an english barn and it sounds exactly like the situation you described. I went there saying "yeah, I've been riding for a few years... I want lessons but am not a beginner". Boy was I in for a shock. It took me forever to grasp the concept of posting the trot, steering a horse using anything besides neck reining, maintaining contact, looking "pretty" in the saddle, etc. It was a completely different world. I didn't know how to properly tack up a horse with english tack. It was probably a scary looking ride.

I'm not saying you should lease your horse to her. I wouldn't, because a) she was rude by being 4 hours late and b) it does NOT sound like a good match. But don't be so quick to judge her skills as a rider. Obviously I could be completely off base and she could just be a very new rider who has no idea what she is doing in any discipline. But on the other hand, she could be a decent western rider who just has no clue about english riding.

gottagrey
Mar. 7, 2012, 05:12 PM
Don't feel bad or guilty about not letting her ride /touch your horse or your things. It's not a good fit and your horse sounds like a sweet tolerant mare - don't blow her mind w/a person like this.

Trevelyan96
Mar. 7, 2012, 05:33 PM
To whoever said those who ride school horses often think they are better then they are?

Not anywhere near the number of those with personal horses who think they are better then they are;).

I got no problem with a novice who wants to learn and is willing to listen, what they ride has nothing to do with it.

For the OP...be SURE you tell your BO/trainer that NOBODY rides your horse without your express WRITTEN consent. Just in case that kid does pick up a ride on another in your barn...or your BO gets bright ideas without input from you. And please don't assume they are your BFF and would never do that...yeah, given the right circumstance$, alot of them would.

Findeight, mea culpa, did not mean to imply that riding school horses only makes for a bad rider. Often it makes for a better one, especially if they've ridden lots of different types of horses and have a good instructor. My point was that I've also run into a lot of young teens who've spent a year or so riding a dead broke school horse who walks/trots/canters on voice cue from the instructor, and these kids haven't yet processed the fact that the horse is well trained to know its job and they don't realize yet what they don't know. They think that because they can get the job done in their lessons that they're qualified to ride anything, but when presented with a challenging horse and without their instructor, its not so pretty.

Of course, I'd have stopped it when the kid stuck her tongue out.

OverandOnward
Mar. 7, 2012, 07:01 PM
... My BO always says "if you have the opportunity to help somebody, do it" and that's what I was trying to do. :sigh:You BO is not your guru. I hope. I don't know what the BO would have said about the girl's behavior, of course.

There is a difference between helping - responsibly - and enabling poor behavior. In no way would it help anyone for this girl to lease your horse. Including the girl.


.... My mare has paid her dues to me, and I owe it to find someone more responsible.:) Yay! I am so glad you are going with the only criteria that matters. Your mare's opinion of any prospective lessee, and any active lessee, rates over everyone else's. Your mare will appreciate it that you have her back - well, literally, I guess. :cool:

crazyhorses
Mar. 8, 2012, 12:54 AM
I would have walked off if someone showed up four hours late. I REALLY dislike people who are late. To me it shows lack of responsibility. Which in turn, says to me, that said person might not take great care of your horse. But I'm weird, I'm always forty minutes early LOL

LaraNSpeedy
Mar. 8, 2012, 10:37 AM
No Way.

Do not lease to her. Leasing is something people do once they are AT LEAST solidly advanced beginner - meaning walk, trot, some canter, know how to ride without interfering the horse. An advanced beginner or beginning intermediate needs to practice practice practice to develop. That is why I tell people to lease - it is hard for someone to advance to intermediate if they just lesson once a week.

But a total beginner needs to take the once a week lesson (more if they want but she sounds like she needs instruction as well as practice).

On the other hand - she sounds rude. So chances are if you gave her a little of your time, she will end up being late and sticking her tongue at you again and again. Life is too short.

BeeHoney
Mar. 8, 2012, 11:12 AM
I just want to point out a couple of side issues to consider. First of all, when leasing a horse there are safety issues to consider. This person does not sound like they would be able to safely come out and ride the horse by themselves. Even if you tried to always be there to help them, what if you weren't? Secondly, there are liability issues. If there were an accident or incident, you could be liable, especially if you knew at the outset (as the more experienced person) that there was a high likelihood of safety issues given that the person didn't even know how to tack up the horse. Thirdly, if you involve yourself in the lease by teaching the rider each time, you are walking the line of being a professional instructor and you could create some issues for yourself (do you have instructor's insurance?) and your barn (which might not want other people teaching lessons without insurance).

FineAlready
Mar. 8, 2012, 04:36 PM
I do not think it was "ballsy" for a relatively novice person to show up - disclosing most of her experience on hack horses etc - and try a potential lease horse without having the level of skill you are looking for. Not everyone waits until they are super proficient to lease a horse, and there is nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of novices who lease saints as they are starting out/not very proficient... the value of those horses is related more closely to what they will tolerate, rather than on any particular talent or skill level they possess.

Lease transactions are all about finding a rider who "fits well enough" with a horse that "is good enough" for the situation to work out reasonably well for all concerned. Generally speaking, in situations like this, both sides often have to make compromises (the rider is probably not Medal/Maclay material, but the horse might not be, either, as the OP suggests she is not easy and has health issues.)

That said, it doesn't sound like this is a good fit and for the relatively modest lease amount, I personally would decline the deal.

I agree with all of this. This girl does sound like a bad fit for you/this horse, but I do think you are taking it a bit far in being angry at her for being "ballsy" enough to come into a "nice barn" and "expect" to lease a horse. Honestly, she made an inquiry, you agreed to a test run. It didn't work out, and you should tell her so and move on. Nothing wrong with that. You just seem mad that her severity of initiation into the world of horses wasn't as...severe as yours?

That said, I also agree with MVP that I would have dragged her butt off that horse the moment she stuck her tongue out at me! Now, THAT is ballsy!

tpup
Mar. 8, 2012, 06:36 PM
I'm dying to know how old the girl was! I mean...who is old enough to have a cell phone AND sticks their tongue out at people? WHO? Please tell us approximately how old she was. The curiosity is killing me. I am guessing old enough to drive? Did her Mom or someone else drive her??

I agree on "not a good fit". It's your horse...stop worrying about offending anyone - tell her it's not a good fit and that's all you have to do. It's your horse. When she was 4 hours late and stuck her tongue out, she blew any chances as far as I would be concerned.

mvp
Mar. 8, 2012, 06:47 PM
I have learned from this thread that

"Not a good fit" means "You suk!"

God, I hate euphemisms.

SnicklefritzG
Mar. 8, 2012, 09:16 PM
This is not an economical situation at all. You will easily spent twice that in Ibuprofin for your headaches at the barn and all the liquor to relax after you have to deal with this brat.

AlyssaSpellman
Mar. 8, 2012, 11:38 PM
This is not an economical situation at all. You will easily spent twice that in Ibuprofin for your headaches at the barn and all the liquor to relax after you have to deal with this brat.

:lol: THIS.
I would've left the barn after 2 hours of her being late, and wouldn't have let her on my horse after tacking wrong.

nightsong
Mar. 9, 2012, 12:49 AM
Think about your HORSE. She needs someone to take care of her properly, to pay enough attention to see which way a pad goes (it's not hard), to ASK when they don't know, and to RIDE competently.

Remember, every time you ride a horse, you're TRAINING it. Do you want this type of trainer? Not to mention one who not only disrespects, ignores, and disobeys, but acticely RIDICULES you. Please tell the other boarder who generoussly offered a horse all you've told us, and guard your horse STRINGENTLY if this girl comes out to the barn for ANY reason. This disrespectful and disobedient type of person may well take your horse without permission. Assuming you've grown a pair and decided your horse's welfare and your sanity are worth more than $100. And tell the tryer about the saddle. If there's a repair, bill her for it.

vacation1
Mar. 9, 2012, 04:49 AM
You have to love threads like this, where the OP basically says "This person murdered my whole family; should I loan him money?" I'm never sure if they're just looking for support, or if they're really that worried about saying no to someone. OP, you obviously kinda hate this girl already. I think that's partly because she's placed you in the position of being (in your eyes) a "meanie" and saying no to her. The crankiness about her being uppity for "expecting" you to bend over backwards for her is unfair. #1, she clearly doesn't realize what would be required for the lease to work - ie, a lot of time and effort on your part. She probably thinks she'd be fine showing up whenever, and you would just get the money and be happy. You can't, as someone said, know what you don't know. And #2, everyone gets something handed to them. We earn virtually nothing in this life. That doesn't mean you're obligated to throw yourself half-heartedly into a good Samaritan enterprise by leasing your horse to a person who annoys you.

spaceagejuliet
Mar. 9, 2012, 05:39 AM
You know this is not a good fit. Its a poor fit based on skill level, respect, expectations, etc.

Bottom line: this is not someone you can allow to ride your mare unsupervised, and you are not selling riding lessons.

If someone else in your barn feels differently, then that is their issue, their horse. I might suggest expressing your concerns to that person, if you are friends, to make sure she didn't use you as a reference or anything. Do not feel guilty standing up for yourself and your horse. You have a lot tied up in your horse, and your future together. You aren't judging whether shes a good kid, a kid who will end up in jail, a kid who you'd let lease a different horse. Its this horse, now, no way!

On a side note: Trail string or just crappy places who take kids money for years without teaching them anything are of particular annoyance to me.