View Full Version : Do teenagers have manners?
Feb. 15, 2012, 06:49 AM
My son is 20 and has a friend (a girl) who comes over frequently to hang out. Several times she has stayed for 3 or 4 hours and suddenly announces she has to go because she is meeting some friends to go to a movie. My son is never invited and I can tell his feelings are hurt.
Is she being rude or oblivious?
Feb. 15, 2012, 06:58 AM
Both! Your son needs to tell her that she's upsetting him.
I do wonder if 'going to the movies' is just an excuse to leave though. Some people aren't very good at expressing themselves.
Feb. 15, 2012, 06:59 AM
I see a lot of issues w your post. That your 20 yr old son won't speak up for himself and continues to hang out w a girl who hurts his feelings is one of them.
As for her....well. She probably has no idea, and chances are, your son is in the Friend Zone.
Mar. 17, 2012, 01:17 PM
I know this is "old" but really... he is in the friend zone...
However, no matter what you say... he probably won't listen. At some point, some girl will come along who will treat him right and he'll forget about this one all together...
OR he'll just get tired of the games...
I remember the days of feeling awkward to ask questions like: Hm, why am I not invited...? (note: it never did happen but I know for a fact I probably would have acted like I didn't care one bit had it happen)
Now... I wouldn't care one bit and would stand up for myself!
Mar. 17, 2012, 05:24 PM
Mom, you are looking at this from a woman's perspective. He is 20 year old guy and needs to handle his own life without Mommy looking out for his feelings. If it bothers your son enough he will make changes. Does your son hang out with guy friends? I gather he still lives at home. Is he in school or does he have a job or both? If he is real busy, he won't have time to care what this girl does. The girl maybe going out with her girlfriends and it would be awkward if he came. Is he dwelling on this or are you? Be careful about over mothering him. It will do him no favors in the long run.
Mar. 17, 2012, 08:39 PM
Yes, we do. In this context it's possible that she doesn't realize that he wants to go along, and just because she's going doesn't mean he should be invited. I have friends that I wouldn't invite to hang out with my other friends. If it's really that important to him to be invited, he should just speak up and ask if he can tag along
Mar. 17, 2012, 09:31 PM
I don't want to sound mean because text can come off wrong....but this is similar to what I read on my "mommy forums" about 5 and 6 yr olds. Little Susie says she can't spend the night because she is going to little Daisy's birthday party and your kid is hurt because she wasn't invited. Your son is 20. This girl he has a crush on (which I assume) is leaving him after hanging out to go to a movie with her other friends, either her girl friends or worst case scenario, another boy. Obviously she sees him as a friend and since he is a guy friend, he isn't invited out with the girls or on her date. Therefore, she doesn't think it is rude to say why she is leaving. Honestly, she isn't rude and at 20 yrs old, that is not bad manners.
Mar. 18, 2012, 02:41 AM
Another thing. He is 20, not a teenager.
Mar. 18, 2012, 06:21 AM
and I think she see's him and a friend boy not boy friend see the difference... one is hang out have fun nothing serious other is diffrent... Or did I just age myself a lot...
Also as a mom of a 25 and 19 yo,, it is hard on a mom to hop fro a teen to a 20'smom.. just because the birth cert says he is 20 to mom he is still a teen... been there once already not sure im ready for the2ndtime around yet...but then again I was suprised when I realized my 10yo was actuallly a teen see what I mean... ;)
Mar. 18, 2012, 01:03 PM
He has been friend zoned. Another thing is that she may be going to hang out with her girls. When I hang out witth the girls, my BF of two years does not tag along.
Mar. 18, 2012, 03:16 PM
Quite frankly, in this Old F*rt's opinion, your son needs to grow a pair!