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Renn/aissance
Nov. 23, 2011, 09:11 AM
http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/question-special-adult-amateurs-everywhere-why-can%E2%80%99t-i-think-inside-ring

Check this out on the front page- it is a hoot!

Lord Helpus
Nov. 23, 2011, 09:30 AM
Absolutely hysterical and oh so true.

You Go, Sistah!

-- I think the picture is the best part. Decimated jump. Special Amateur on the ground in a pile and the horse heading out of the ring with a bubble above his head saying "Adios Amigo".

Madaketmomma
Nov. 23, 2011, 09:35 AM
Great article! I forwarded it to all of our "special adult" show team members.

caffeinated
Nov. 23, 2011, 09:46 AM
omigosh... it's like we share a brain. Or lack of one.

hahah!

dab
Nov. 23, 2011, 09:47 AM
:lol: too funny!

ParadoxFarm
Nov. 23, 2011, 10:04 AM
I think I know that girl! Or...I am that girl. :) Too cute.

Renn/aissance
Nov. 23, 2011, 10:23 AM
Great article! I forwarded it to all of our "special adult" show team members.

I forwarded it to my mother- who is not a "special adult" in any means, but because the mounting sounds very, very familiar. :lol:

indygirl2560
Nov. 23, 2011, 10:27 AM
haha funny article!

BAC
Nov. 23, 2011, 10:35 AM
I got a good laugh reading that article. They are having fun and that's what's most important.

Sport
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:04 AM
What a great article. Too much of it sounded familiar. I think I used to be a special amateur and have back slid to the wonder rider.

CharmCity
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:05 AM
I am *not* alone-woohoo!
This summer, I told someone that I was bringing my 'work' self to the ring. However, my body/brain connection didn't work so I managed to cling on my horse like a perched monkey and have more chips than a Vegas casino...
The person basically commented 'Were you trying to get fired?!'-lol.

ccoronios
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:18 AM
God bless the trainer who understands that not everyone is focused on the Olympic team!!! Or even 3'6" divisions...

C

MoonWitch
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:35 AM
I could've written this and even added the same picture!! :)

sunshinestate
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:36 AM
Great article and so very accurate.

TarheelJD
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:48 AM
So, so funny! I can relate to every word! And the picture!

busylady
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:52 AM
The article is probably my all time COTH favorite. I can definitely relate. By the way, this "have more chips than a Vegas casino..." is hilarious!

KateKat
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:55 AM
that picture was awesome. And yes...so true!

AllyandPete
Nov. 23, 2011, 11:55 AM
danielles whole book is available for sale! }m responding on my phone right now so i cant get the link....but if you do a forum search you can find the link i posted a few months ago! she is a great writer and person.

Come Shine
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:03 PM
Great article!

koppem10
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:06 PM
definitely can relate... great article!

Sunny's Mom
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:09 PM
I am one! HAHA - GREAT article!

eclipse
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:16 PM
Raises hand.......I too am a "special amature"!! I plan, I picture it, I listen to my trainer and then I go into the ring and my brain falls out! :D:lol:

TarheelJD
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:19 PM
danielles whole book is available for sale! }m responding on my phone right now so i cant get the link....but if you do a forum search you can find the link i posted a few months ago! she is a great writer and person.

Just ordered the book off of the Lulu link you posted. If the whole thing is as good as that article, I can't wait to read it over the holidays!

PNWjumper
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:29 PM
Absolutely loved this article! :lol:

baylady7
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:31 PM
Agree, nice article. Better than the print one of the "average" adult amateur, most who seemed to be upper class income or close to professionals. Nobody in that article seemed to work a second job or scrape by.

janiemerle
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:39 PM
"As I transition from walk to trot to canter, I also transition from dumb, to dumber, to dumbest."

That's awesome! :lol:


What a great article. Too much of it sounded familiar. I think I used to be a special amateur and have back slid to the wonder rider.

:lol: Me too!

PNWjumper
Nov. 23, 2011, 12:59 PM
Agree, nice article. Better than the print one of the "average" adult amateur, most who seemed to be upper class income or close to professionals. Nobody in that article seemed to work a second job or scrape by.

As one of those amateurs profiled in the average adult amateur article, this comment really rubs me the wrong way. I can say wholeheartedly that "scraping by" is all in the eye of the beholder. I would say that the fact that I work upwards of 80+ hours a week and do a 6000 mile commute most weeks makes it impossible to work a second job (or maybe I would consider my one job to be the equivalent of working multiple jobs?). I have at least one day a week where I start at 5am EST and get home at 2am PST (that's a 24-hour day if you're counting). Do I "suffer" financially? No, not at the moment, but I've certainly paid my due in "macaroni dinner years" to keep the horses going and my show schedule has remained virtually unchanged in that time.

AllyandPete
Nov. 23, 2011, 01:17 PM
Ok I am now at my computer! Here is the link to our original thread...it has the link to the lulu sight where you can order the book!

DO IT...or send the link to mom/dad/grandma/children so they can get it for you..its only $14

http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308564

Trevelyan96
Nov. 23, 2011, 01:18 PM
OMG, she must have watched my lessons to get the description of the wonder riders mounting! :lol::lol:

I'm a 'special wonder rider'. Own my own horse, but take one lesson a week on a saintly school horse, and haven't shown in years. Every lesson is a tape recording of 'stop fiddling with your hands befor the jump', 'please ask that horse to GO SOMEWHERE',and 'please try to canter at least 1 full laps around the ring'. With background sound of me grunting, groaning, cursing, and giggling.

JenEM
Nov. 23, 2011, 01:27 PM
What a great article! I hope this author writes more for the Chronicle.

Sport
Nov. 23, 2011, 02:32 PM
OMG, she must have watched my lessons to get the description of the wonder riders mounting! :lol::lol:

I'm a 'special wonder rider'. Own my own horse, but take one lesson a week on a saintly school horse, and haven't shown in years. Every lesson is a tape recording of 'stop fiddling with your hands befor the jump', 'please ask that horse to GO SOMEWHERE',and 'please try to canter at least 1 full laps around the ring'. With background sound of me grunting, groaning, cursing, and giggling.

I love that. Sounds really familiar. On Saturday I was pleading with Sport to just canter one full circle so that she (trainer) would let us quit. I told her that she can't kill me with two point and then expect that I can canter at the end of the lesson.
For me it is the getting on.
Step one: He gets a peppermint
Step two: we get to the mounting block
Step three: I get on the mounting block
Step four: he gets another mint and steps up beside the block
Step five: I put my foot into the stirrup and then think about getting on
Step 6: I actually get on and life is good
often we repeat step 3 to 5 with me needing him to be in just the perfect spot before I get on. :lol:

ddashaq
Nov. 23, 2011, 03:19 PM
That article could have been written about me. I especially loved the dumb, dumber, dumbest part because I actually lose IQ points the second I walk into the show ring. Last time I did a (schooling!) show, I got lost halfway through a hunter round. You would think this would be impossible on a course in the shape of an 8, but alas, I managed it. The judge was laughing so hard she was in a heap and my trainer just hid. I am very familiar with the dumbfounded look of which the author speaks.

Vesper Sparrow
Nov. 23, 2011, 04:10 PM
I love that. Sounds really familiar. On Saturday I was pleading with Sport to just canter one full circle so that she (trainer) would let us quit. I told her that she can't kill me with two point and then expect that I can canter at the end of the lesson.
For me it is the getting on.
Step one: He gets a peppermint
Step two: we get to the mounting block
Step three: I get on the mounting block
Step four: he gets another mint and steps up beside the block
Step five: I put my foot into the stirrup and then think about getting on
Step 6: I actually get on and life is good
often we repeat step 3 to 5 with me needing him to be in just the perfect spot before I get on. :lol:

Totally... can't comprehend how these juniors can get on when the horse is two feet away from the mounting block... it doesn't faze them in the least while I like the horse to be in a perfect position. If the block is a foot away and I can get on, I consider myself to have scored a major athletic achievement.

Similarly, getting off is a long and drawn out process. I count "one, two, three" out loud to warn the horse that I will be clambering off her/his back and possibly hitting them in the side with the stirrup as I let it drop. Seems to work. I guess my horses have learned to count.

The funniest part was watching my trainer "prepare" my young horse for what he would have to put up with from me during the dismounting process by swinging her leg over, standing with one foot in the stirrup and swinging the other leg all over the place and making funny grunts. It was priceless.

sunnycher
Nov. 23, 2011, 04:16 PM
I sent the link to my past and present trainers!!!! PERFECT.

SarahandSam
Nov. 23, 2011, 04:44 PM
Second the recommendation for the book... it's very funny! Like AllyandPete, I ride at Danielle's barn and occasionally do make-up lessons with the Wonder Class Danielle mentions, who really are a riot. I'm in the special adult Wonder Class 102 on Sunday mornings, which involves a lot of walk breaks when the trainer's back is turned, clumping in the middle to discuss our hangovers while our horses doze off, and going off course down a line of crossrails while the sole teenager in our lesson rides circles around us. I am so grateful for patient and tolerant trainers. (; Hope she writes more for COTH!

Lord Helpus
Nov. 23, 2011, 08:04 PM
I am amazed and jealous that you ladies actually get off by jumping to the ground!

I built myself what neighbors call a "landing strip". 4 steps high, stairs on both ends and the top platform is 36 x 42".

I lead the horse through "the gauntlet" (between the mounting block and a tree, so he has to stay close to the mounting block and cannot swing his butt away), then climb the far stairs back at him and actually step DOWN onto him (he is 17.1. :D).

I get off the same way.

It makes life so much easier.....

:winkgrin:

Sport
Nov. 23, 2011, 09:03 PM
I am amazed and jealous that you ladies actually get off by jumping to the ground!

I built myself what neighbors call a "landing strip". 4 steps high, stairs on both ends and the top platform is 36 x 42".

I lead the horse through "the gauntlet" (between the mounting block and a tree, so he has to stay close to the mounting block and cannot swing his butt away), then climb the far stairs back at him and actually step DOWN onto him (he is 17.1. :D).

I get off the same way.

It makes life so much easier.....

:winkgrin:

I need pictures of your mounting block. My goal is to build one like it in the spring. Sport is 17.2, so your setup sounds awesome.

Prime Time Rider
Nov. 23, 2011, 10:10 PM
We have a woman at our barn who is recovering from hip surgery. She actually built a four step, 3' high solid wood mounting block, which allows her to kinda "drop" onto her horse. What's really funny is that most of us over 50 riders have taken to using this mounting platform to get on their horses. It's a hoot!

Chef Jade
Nov. 23, 2011, 10:36 PM
Loved it!

Roisin
Nov. 25, 2011, 05:42 PM
I am amazed and jealous that you ladies actually get off by jumping to the ground!

I built myself what neighbors call a "landing strip". 4 steps high, stairs on both ends and the top platform is 36 x 42".

I lead the horse through "the gauntlet" (between the mounting block and a tree, so he has to stay close to the mounting block and cannot swing his butt away), then climb the far stairs back at him and actually step DOWN onto him (he is 17.1. :D).

I get off the same way.

It makes life so much easier.....

:winkgrin:


Must have the plans for this to give my husband!!! Every woman rider over 50 should have one!!

doublesstable
Nov. 25, 2011, 07:43 PM
Like so many women, I love horses. Since I was about 7 years old all I wanted was a horse of my own. When I was 10 I got my wish. For many years I rode trails and enjoyed spending time with my horse. Soon I got the bug for competition. Heading for my teen years I began to get busy with other things and the time with the horses started fading. Graduating high school needing a job didn't have much time or money for the horses. Then men came into the picture. Soon I was married and wanted to start a family, yes horses were out of the question at that time.... but as time did tick on, I really missed having horses in my life. Getting back into it was easy but not quite the same. My body was not as quick and my thoughts of getting injured never came up before. Now as I approach 50, I ask where did the time go? Can I continue to jump my horses no higher than 3' or can I really move up? Do I have the time and money to spend on getting to the level I want to be? Oh so many questions in my mind and I don't think I have the answers I really wanted to hear.

After reading the article on COTH - Adult Amature's, I know it's okay to be where I am and to enjoy every moment of it!

Thanks for sharing the story!

Aardvark@X
Nov. 26, 2011, 06:15 PM
That article could have been written about me. I especially loved the dumb, dumber, dumbest part because I actually lose IQ points the second I walk into the show ring. Last time I did a (schooling!) show, I got lost halfway through a hunter round. You would think this would be impossible on a course in the shape of an 8, but alas, I managed it. The judge was laughing so hard she was in a heap and my trainer just hid. I am very familiar with the dumbfounded look of which the author speaks.

I'm aspiring to this! Since I'm presently horse shopping -- now in its 9th month of searching OT -- and my dumb, dumber and dumbest moments are occuring solely when I'm taking a test ride on a potential mount. As my trainer patiently sets up a lovely gymnastic, my brain decides to depart with an unknown return date. Horsey does said gymnastic and I've completely blanked on the entire experience. It's as if I've woken up at the other end, going, "Well what just happened?" I'm quite certain the sellers are thrilled to have a spider monkey riding their mount.

I keep blaming it all on my lack of seat from only riding once per week. How a lack of seat can remove my brain, I'm not so sure... Just a theory. :D

(Note: no horses were harmed during any of my spider monkey escapades)

Fun Size
Nov. 26, 2011, 10:32 PM
"I know this comes as a surprise to my trainer. I understand that she finds it hard to believe that I actually do think. She always has a dumfounded look when I come out of the show ring."

I love this! I was getting quite a few of these looks in my lesson today, actually. Her description of practicing corners and then not riding into them at a show is just...so...ME! :D

Today it was sainted Trainer asking me if I really thought my horse was interested in leaving the ground if I decided to pull right before the jump. Well, sainted Horsie ALWAYS leaves the ground, but I shouldn't make it harder for him than it needs to be...it all sounds so logical! Then my brain leaks out my ear.

Love this, thanks for posting!