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View Full Version : What is your favorite "Woffordism?"



LookmaNohands
Jan. 25, 2011, 08:38 PM
Here is mine:

There are three kinds of riders in the world: those that make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder WHAT happened!

Go! :)

fooler
Jan. 25, 2011, 10:01 PM
You would rather be lucky than good.

Next victim:lol:

kcrubin
Jan. 26, 2011, 08:02 AM
you are going to meet a fence one of three ways - short, right or long. Therefore you want to meet it on a stride that the horse can work from - a bouncy energetic canter - then he can add if he needs to or pat the ground or say thanks for getting me here right.

Hilary
Jan. 26, 2011, 08:53 AM
Experience is what you get right after you needed it.

Eventer55
Jan. 26, 2011, 09:34 AM
"With telephone poles cemented into the ground, you won't have a light rub behind."

1516
Jan. 26, 2011, 10:07 AM
"You have a beautiful black lab." :)

easykeeper
Jan. 26, 2011, 10:38 AM
"I've had more fun with my reins tied to a telephone pole"

said after riding my friends cranky chestnut mare!

GingerJumper
Jan. 26, 2011, 11:02 AM
"experience is what you get right after you need it."

something i think of every day after riding my horse lol.:rolleyes:

merry_one
Jan. 26, 2011, 11:28 AM
Why walk when you can ride...

If you don't pull you won't have to kick and if you don't kick you won't have to pull...

Love riding with Jimmy. In fact my mare recommends it.

bornfreenowexpensive
Jan. 26, 2011, 12:50 PM
I've got good news and bad news for you. The good news is your mare hears you. The bad news is your mare hears you.

GutsNGlory
Jan. 26, 2011, 01:24 PM
... all of them? :lol:

The one that has really hit the nail on the head for me lately is, "Your riding needs to take into account your horse's personality." I really don't think there is a statement to better fit my horse. Or any horse actually..

I'm currently reading his book Take A Good Look Around and find myself laughing at so much of it. I love his honesty and twisted humor. The first paragraph in the foreward really just says it all, "I hope you found this book filed under 'humor.' Given that I think almost everything is funny, you need to bring your sense of humor along when you read it. If you are unusually sensitive, politically correct, or even a liberal, you can be assured that there is something in here that will annoy you. Sorry about that; you were warned." :p

LookmaNohands
Jan. 26, 2011, 01:33 PM
Jumping advice:

Rider: Jim, on the bending line between 10A and 10B should we hold for six strides or kick for five?

Jim: Yes.
:)

(Translation: depends how you jump in.)

subk
Jan. 26, 2011, 01:36 PM
"Heh, Heh, Heh."

lstevenson
Jan. 26, 2011, 02:18 PM
If you are unusually sensitive, politically correct, or even a liberal, you can be assured that there is something in here that will annoy you. Sorry about that; you were warned." :p



I loved that too!

The whole book is freaking hilarious!




http://www.MyVirtualEventingCoach.com

lstevenson
Jan. 26, 2011, 02:19 PM
One of my favorites is something he says to those who come to a clinic with mental baggage about a particular type of jump:

"I didn't bring my couch with me...."




http://www.MyVirtualEventingCoach.com

FLeckenAwesome
Jan. 26, 2011, 02:22 PM
That's hilarious!!! I'll have to remember that one... kinda puts it in perspective doesn't it!?

RiverBendPol
Jan. 26, 2011, 03:25 PM
Jim is mostly silent when he's teaching me. With that silence come his crossed eyes and a wicked smirk. Often it is because I am lying on my back at his feet. :lol::lol::lol:Gawd, I love that man.

GotSpots
Jan. 26, 2011, 05:43 PM
Rider X "became a fugitive from the law of averages."

LookmaNohands
Jan. 26, 2011, 05:49 PM
Rider X "became a fugitive from the law of averages."

No.

"That rider is a fugitive from the law of GRAVITY!" :yes:

vbunny
Jan. 26, 2011, 06:22 PM
I wish there was a like button for some of these :). Here's mine; "Your first horse? Fantastic. Second horse? Monday morning. My ring. 7am." Jimmy had my back :).

ZIL
Jan. 27, 2011, 04:39 AM
Paraphrasing...

You had two chances, Slim and None, and Slim just left the building.

Your horse stopped like a fat lady at a doughnut shop. (The subject of some angry letter writing to PH, but I thought it was funny.)

Xctrygirl
Jan. 27, 2011, 03:28 PM
I have been blessed to have worked with Jimmy off and on for a long time. But this moment was a rarity. In March 2008 I finally got one in on Woff....

See video... http://www.youtube.com/user/Xctrygirl?feature=mhum#p/u/13/Dp-hrLNjjpc

Go to time code: 2:30

Watch as I jump the in and out... Jimmy walks over to the second fence and swaps out a red hankerchief that he had laid on the rail to get my eyes back down from the rafters. He swaps it out as I am cantering away with a tube of chap stick.

And so he asks me... You saw the chapstick that time, right?"

I say yep.


He says "Chapstick or Hankerchief?"

And I say

"Well it was a hankerchief, but you replaced it with the chapstick afterwards. I saw it in the (arena) mirrors... But yes, I saw both. :-) "

He laughs and says

"You've done too many clinics you've got to go to somebody else."


Thats gonna be a fond memory for a while!!!


But of his oft quoted expressions....

"Practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect."


~Emily

CMCEventer
Jan. 27, 2011, 03:31 PM
"I knew you weren't going to be perfect today when I got in my car to come here."

"Ride the horse you have today."

"I saw that. Don't think I didn't see that just because I'm standing behind you with my back turned."

"Amazing. You accidentally put your leg on at just the right moment and your horse didn't barf over the jump."

"Gerbil brain."

"Oh, I could have a party all day long because you jumped that so well, but you just missed your next fence!"

Tagging along on his Fair Hill 3* course walk several years ago, we arrive at the coffin, and Jim says to the riders... "Now, here you have options: Jump it or die."

shea'smom
Jan. 27, 2011, 04:27 PM
After making a stupid mistake..... twice.
"Even white rats learn".

subk
Jan. 27, 2011, 04:34 PM
"It's simple, but not easy."

Blugal
Jan. 27, 2011, 05:39 PM
He came for a clinic at one of the desert-like areas in the province, and all the horses and riders were dealing reasonably with the heat - we did not feel we could dare complain about it in front of the great Wofford! On a break I heard him say into his cell-phone, "it's hotter than Hades here..." Made me feel better anyway!

GiGi
Jan. 27, 2011, 11:06 PM
"Even a cow can jump 4 feet."

Gets me over any worry I have about any xc jump. Well at least for now, I just moved up to novice. lol

CookiePony
Jan. 27, 2011, 11:11 PM
I can't believe no one has mentioned this one yet!

"You can't fix stupid."

goodmorning
Jan. 27, 2011, 11:46 PM
I have been blessed to have worked with Jimmy off and on for a long time. But this moment was a rarity. In March 2008 I finally got one in on Woff....

See video... http://www.youtube.com/user/Xctrygirl?feature=mhum#p/u/13/Dp-hrLNjjpc


Lucky you. And thank you for posting the video. Another one that wants a nice pat for a job well done. Like him, would love to ride with him!

3phase
Jan. 28, 2011, 01:34 AM
Jimmy's great!! Always says it like it is! I had the pleasure of meeting him years ago at Bealieu.

I remember he said something at one of the Rolex's talking about grease-something to the extent of -if you're greasing your horse up in hopes that if he leaves a leg he'll slide over, than you might as well leave him at home as he's probably not a good jumper (can't remember the exact quote but something along those lines.)
Might eat my words but would love to work with him in the future ;)

Blugal
Jan. 28, 2011, 01:49 AM
My favourite quote is from his book, something to the effect of, 'Pick a horse whose head you will enjoy seeing over the stall door every morning. That is the kind of horse you won't mind making excuses for.'

Long Shadow Farm
Jan. 28, 2011, 08:59 AM
I have two after riding with him in a clinic this fall.

On stadium day, for once in my life when I got to a fence funny, I managed to keep my shoulders back, put my leg on and wait. It all worked out and my horse, the saint that he is, did a little footwork and put in a super nice back cracking jump. After I stopped, Jim told me that his work for the day was done and for me to go home because he couldn't teach me anything else. That is a pretty proud moment. Especially since I struggle with nerves riding in front of someone new in stadium.

The second day, several people in my group were having a problem with a ditch and brush fence. Jim finally got tired and told everyone that down by the jump at the bottom was a "No Whine Zone" and to hush and ride. I about fell off my horse laughing at that one!!!

Bobbi