View Full Version : Spinoff: Do you get distracted.....annoyed at...
Jan. 23, 2011, 07:30 PM
Dilemma: A woman that I am invariably in the cross ties with will distract me from my horse to say look how "perfect" her horse is for standing quietly in the cross ties, having a shiny coat, performing a carrot stretch. I mean really inane things. Needless to say I am not impressed and beyond annoyed. Aside from strapping on an Ipod how can I politely make it understood that I don't want to be bothered. (As I wrote this it so reminded me of parents who brag about everything their kid does!):)
Jan. 23, 2011, 07:35 PM
Groom in your stall. Bring in pics of your children, relatives, nieces, nephews, cooked meals and shoveled walk to show her. Be really nice about it but make sure that she has to look at every picture and ooohhh and aaaa over every one.
She will avoid you.
Jan. 23, 2011, 07:35 PM
The ipod thing really does work. You don't even have to turn it on :D Just gesture to it a few times and she'll give up. Or turn it on for real and just enjoy yourself. Problem solved :D
I've resorted to the ipod a few times for the genuinely clueless in various barns.
Jan. 23, 2011, 07:44 PM
I would say something along the lines of how much you love peace and quiet when you come to the barn... how it's just "your and your equine's" special time together. Hopefully she's not too stupid...
Jan. 24, 2011, 09:54 AM
just tell her.
"I come out to see my horse, not you. we are not friends. we merely keep our horses at the same place."
Some would call this rude.
in the horse world this is what horses do. when they like each other they hang out together. When they don't they let each other know that too.
i would much prefer to find out the direct way, as opposed to the "polite" way. Some people can't see beyond the words.
Jan. 24, 2011, 12:23 PM
When people interrupt me for things which I don't care about I usually say something like "Yup" don't look and keep doing what I was doing. She'll figure it out eventually and all it means from you is 1 word.
Jan. 24, 2011, 12:32 PM
I applaud you for your willingness to approach this problem directly but in barns where you might have a nutty boarder, I think it's best to avoid ANY possibility of conflict with another boarder. Your horse is there many hours a day without you. One can't be too careful. I would either put up with it and try to avoid her or just move my horse if the behavior is so unbearable.
Unless you own the property that's just the crap you have to put up with in a boarding barn.
In my opinion this kind of thing is nothing compared to stealing my tack, grain or supplements, riding my horse, being a snotty railbird, or starting barn gossip.
Jan. 24, 2011, 12:46 PM
I was the OP on the thread befor the spinoff and I was given a multiple of good responces that all you would need to do is sub your own aplicable words for. I like the direct but friendly approach best...like ..."I think your horse is adorable/amazing/ wonderful, but I am on a bit of a time crunch so I need to keep working on my horse for now...maybe another time..ok?" Good Luck!
Jan. 24, 2011, 12:48 PM
Dilemma: A woman that I am invariably in the cross ties with
Sounds uncomfortable, to say the least. How exactly does that work? :lol:
will distract me from my horse to say look how "perfect" her horse is for standing quietly in the cross ties, having a shiny coat, performing a carrot stretch. I mean really inane things. Needless to say I am not impressed and beyond annoyed. Aside from strapping on an Ipod how can I politely make it understood that I don't want to be bothered. (As I wrote this it so reminded me of parents who brag about everything their kid does!):)
You mean you're allowing her to distract you. Just because she's grooming nearby doesn't mean you have to give her your undivided attention. Just nod and keep doing whatever you're doing. If she's calling you over to look at something, just tell her sorry, you're on a tight schedule.
I board at a very sociable place, but sometime don't have time to chat (or just don't want to). It's easy to make that clear without being rude about it.
Jan. 24, 2011, 02:22 PM
I dunno...I don't think that would bother me. Maybe she just loves her horse to death and is being like one of those annoying people who keep pulling out pictures of/bragging about their children. It's irritating but comes from a good place so it's hard to get upset about it.
I'd do the ipod thing if it bothered me. That's what I do to avoid airplane talkers and gym talkers, so it should work for barn talkers, too!
Jan. 24, 2011, 02:55 PM
and go on about your business. If you ignore behavior you don't like, it tends to diminish.
Humans are pretty trainable like that.
Don't reinforce by giving her the attention she craves.
Jan. 24, 2011, 03:26 PM
Ignore? Nod and smile and absorb nothing. She'll stop.