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ake987
Jan. 21, 2011, 10:10 PM
you would take $5 for your horse? Or maybe PAY someone $5 to take your horse?!

FLeckenAwesome
Jan. 21, 2011, 10:15 PM
Ha ha!!!

Luckily, I really don't have those days.... Fleckers is AWESOME! :)

But sorry.. that's not what you wanted to hear...

Just know that it will get better the next day... then go have a peppermint shake or funfetti cupcakes ;P

Catie79
Jan. 21, 2011, 10:16 PM
Brandy old fashioned. Sugar cube, dash of bitters, cracked ice, and brandy.

Other than that I think about the highlights. Days that just stood out as just amazing, the days where you wouldn't take any price for your horse, and think that there will be more days like that. These days are the price you pay for those days.

Easier to do after step one. :)

LessonLearned
Jan. 21, 2011, 10:17 PM
If you figure it out, let me know. I am still willing to take a Starbucks gift card for mine. Unfortunately no one at the barn will take me up on it. For some reason, they don't think I'm serious.

At least he's cute and since he was released from solitary confinement (ligament injury), his ground manners have become almost civilized again! Of course, he will become sound just in time for his anhydrosis to flare up. Grumble. And then right after we get that under control, monsoon season will begin here in the low country and his feet will fall off.

I should be able to ride him again somewhere around mid-September. . .

What can I say, I love my beast. ;)

betsyk
Jan. 21, 2011, 10:21 PM
Beer and a cheeseburger.

goobs
Jan. 21, 2011, 10:27 PM
I make him stand on the curb with a sign around his neck that says "Free to bad home".

VicariousRider
Jan. 21, 2011, 11:31 PM
We all ave those days... especially those of us with chestnut mares!!!!

Go back and read those update posts that you put up when things really started to come together for you guys. It sounds like you have made a TON of progress recently: 10 leaps forward one baby step back?

Creaghgal
Jan. 21, 2011, 11:48 PM
That bad huh? Luckily they invented tomorrows!

catmchorse
Jan. 22, 2011, 12:06 AM
Whine, go home, drink tea, sleep, go back and try again the next day :)

Emmas Hot Brass
Jan. 22, 2011, 01:41 AM
I wish I got to ride enough that I had crappy rides! I think some days my horse would trade me for a box of sugar cubes. I Defintely do not devote enough time to him. Poor boy, this winter has been rough. Love him, hope he still loves me!

ThirdCharm
Jan. 22, 2011, 07:51 AM
I used to call my husband after dressage and swear I was gonna sell my old horse (she HATED dressage). Then after xc I'd call him and say "Well, I'll give her a few more months". She ended up going Intermediate....

Fortunately my little chestnut TB mare isn't quite that high/low, but occassionally there are moments. Just remember the good parts and keep your eye on your goals!

Jennifer

scubed
Jan. 22, 2011, 08:01 AM
Whine, drink wine, remember the moments that this has happened in the past with this or other horses and the moments when you wouldn't have sold him for any price because they were so perfect.

retreadeventer
Jan. 22, 2011, 09:04 AM
Oh my! $5?

I'd take a bent quarter for one of them (the one that knocked me down AGAIN and got loose last night in 8 degree windchill and ran ALL over the entire neighborhood (and I mean did NOT miss a lawn or septic tank within a one mile radius) with a chainshank dragging off his nose....I caught mounted on Rugby -- trying to stay on him bareback with a neck hood and no mane to grab while rearing and dancing all over -- then the Terrorists LOCKED the truck while it was running and would not let the neighbor without a jacket stick his arm in the truck and unlock the door thru the open window...someone PLEASE tell me I have a buyer coming to get THAT ONE.

sarah88
Jan. 22, 2011, 09:08 AM
I whine. alot. then I suck up and get over it. Back when I was in high school my first horse after riding ponies was an OTTB- bad idea. We went on the suggestion of my then trainer, but soon decided i wanted to switch trainers...I quickly found out neither pony or I handled pressure well together and I couldn't ride my way out f a wet paper bag...after many tearful rides home I finally decided to sell him (im not suggesting thats what you should do)

I also had another young horse who would often bring our tears of frustration (different from above when I was just scared) with that horse I just had to focus on the good. Eventually things got alot better between us and when she finally moved back to her owner (she was a free lease) I realized how much I liked her. I still find myself missing her a bit a year later, even though I love my current horse and he is much more athletic etc...

Sorry Im rambling. But just try to focus on the good rides, when they suck theres no reason not to cry all the way home if it makes you feel better, eat some chocolate and remember that tomorrow is a new day and look forward to being able to conquer whatever it was you couldnt yesterday. And always try to remember how lucky you are to be able to have these amazing animals in your life!
Good Luck, you'll get through it!

3dazey
Jan. 22, 2011, 11:23 AM
Comfort food. Margaritas. The ear of a sympathetic friend. Early to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

Wash, rinse, repeat. :lol:

purplnurpl
Jan. 22, 2011, 11:30 AM
I make him stand on the curb with a sign around his neck that says "Free to bad home".

LMAO!!!!
that sounds like something I would have responded with.

well, first I look at the stars. This week we had a terrible moon.
problem solved. blame it on the cosmos.
:)

If the problems continue I would call one of the coaches in the area and ride with a mediator.

frugalannie
Jan. 22, 2011, 11:41 AM
Whine, drink wine, remember the moments that this has happened in the past with this or other horses and the moments when you wouldn't have sold him for any price because they were so perfect.


Scubed has the answer.

We've all been there (I think: at least I have).

Standing joke in my barn is that all of my horses are for sale. Price changes daily. It has gotten as low a $1.50 in plug nickels, but there are other days when 6 figures wouldn't be enough. Seven figures is ALWAYS enough!;)

ake987
Jan. 22, 2011, 11:56 AM
WOW, I did not expect this many responses to my whiny little post! Thank you, guys!

It was just a bad day. The topic of hock injections has just come up, and then the next day he was, well, a pr*ck. He was amped up from the time I got him down to the barn, pushed me against the wall in the grooming stall and took off (to the stallion's pasture, of course) while I am getting untangled from a cross tie.. took off at a dead sprint in Neos, on ice, fell several times (can't believe the horse didn't) FINALLY caught him, and you can imagine how our ride went.

I think what makes this process so frustrating for me sometimes is that I am a greenie teaching a greenie. I have great people on my side guiding me through the process, but I was deceived into buying a horse I really wasn't prepared for, and didn't know I wasn't prepared for, because the people I trusted told me he was perfect for me. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Even so, I CAN do this, and I WILL do this, I made a commitment to this animal and I'm seeing it through. I am also constantly told that we are much further along than I give myself credit for, and that I'm too critical and hard on myself, and can't expect to do something perfectly, especially when I'm just learning something new for the first time. Well.. that is just my nature. I've always been a perfectionist, but I also make sure that I get something done correctly the first time.

I got to a point in our ride where I pulled him up and started to cry, before realizing that I would never live it down if anyone walked into the ring, and, that I was not getting anywhere by being a baby. Still in tears, I got him working again, and when he lifted his back and moved under himself, I was patting him, sobbing "GoooOooOooOOddd BOooooYYYY,...sob sob sob". Dear god, it must have been hysterical to see.

Anyway, the next day, my lessee had a lesson, and I got a text from my trainer saying that she had to get on him for a "tune up", apparently he was being a real a$$hole. SO, at least, knowing that he gave attitude to my trainer as well, and his lessee, I don't feel quite so useless, or that it was just *my* fault. For the record, this behavior is absolutely not pain related, everyone on the farm has been rather amped up and edgy the past few days, I'm thinking there might be a predator or stray in the neighborhood. It's also been frickin' freezing.

My trainer sat me down and talked with me, she had some really great, supportive things to say. Horseback riding, with the highs and lows, is the nature of the beast.. there will always be highs, and there will always be lows. We have come so far, and I DO realize that, but you guys know how it is; when it rains, it pours. I can handle the sh*t in small doses, but when it all hits you at once, AHHHHHHHH! Thanks for letting me whine about it, I did go home, cuddle up with my dog and boyfriend, and looked forward to another day.

Currently contemplating heading to the barn now...:lol:

mg
Jan. 22, 2011, 12:22 PM
Luckily, mine has a *really* cute face, so I feel like a big meanie once I get off from a ride I was frustrated by. Deep breaths while I'm walking him out and remembering how stellar he is when we're doing something FUN like xc (instead of evil dressage!) makes me calm down a lot :)

CookiePony
Jan. 22, 2011, 12:25 PM
Are you enjoying the majority of your rides? Or do you dread going to the barn? I ask because there is no shame in realizing that a horse is a bad match for you.

Sometimes it takes a while to realize that a horse is a bad match. Some time ago, I was teaching my green-broke OTTB to jump, and I had a very frustrating lesson on him. The next weekend was Rolex, and I stood in line to get an autograph from William Fox-Pitt. I don't know what possessed me, but I wound up telling WFP about my frustration. He said, "wait for the coin to drop and persevere, if you like him."

At that point I did like him, but as I introduced him to the sport, I found out that he didn't like dressage and didn't like XC. In other words, the coin never dropped. And I was finding it harder and harder to like the horse-- he bit and kicked (most of the time I could get out of the way, but sometimes he connected), and he was a chore to load on a trailer. After almost three years, I finally decided that the match wasn't there. He went to a lower-level H/J and trail home. I made room for my current wonderful horse, and I don't have "those days," period.

goodmorning
Jan. 22, 2011, 01:30 PM
I'm with scubed! I've also resigned to the fact that my horse will probably never be consistent. When you have no expectations, they can't fail you. And now, being new to the eventing world - I have to plan my events weeks ahead of time knowing that my horse is jackyl & hyde?! It should be fun.

Wine, Whine, Wine - Mamosa's if its an early morning disaster ;)

ake987
Jan. 22, 2011, 01:32 PM
Are you enjoying the majority of your rides? Or do you dread going to the barn? I ask because there is no shame in realizing that a horse is a bad match for you.

Sometimes it takes a while to realize that a horse is a bad match. Some time ago, I was teaching my green-broke OTTB to jump, and I had a very frustrating lesson on him. The next weekend was Rolex, and I stood in line to get an autograph from William Fox-Pitt. I don't know what possessed me, but I wound up telling WFP about my frustration. He said, "wait for the coin to drop and persevere, if you like him."

At that point I did like him, but as I introduced him to the sport, I found out that he didn't like dressage and didn't like XC. In other words, the coin never dropped. And I was finding it harder and harder to like the horse-- he bit and kicked (most of the time I could get out of the way, but sometimes he connected), and he was a chore to load on a trailer. After almost three years, I finally decided that the match wasn't there. He went to a lower-level H/J and trail home. I made room for my current wonderful horse, and I don't have "those days," period.

I will never be one of those people that never has a bad day or a bad ride and never gets frustrated with her horse. I don't know how you people do it!

But, I totally understand what you are saying and I sat down with my thoughts the other day and truly considered this. I love my horse. I love going to the barn. I love the vast majority of our rides. He is smart (unfortunately), honest, and 99% of the time he is completely sensible. I have fun with him, teaching him new things, bonding with him. When I got him, I couldn't put my hands above his eye level, now he puts his whole head against my chest for an ear scratch and I have to nudge him when I'm afraid he's going to fall asleep on me!

I think we have a great relationship, on the ground and in the saddle. I KNOW that this horse tries for me, and I know that I have earned a great deal of his trust, and truth be told, he has earned a great deal of mine. I feel safe on him. On our very first hunter pace, as a 4yo, having been racing at that same time the year prior, I trusted him completely to take me around safely, and he did the water crossings like a champ for me after I insisted the creek would not swallow us both whole. No one could believe it. He's an amazing horse and I believe we are a good match and have a long, wonderful future in front of us.

I really don't think this is a situation of the horse and I being a bad match for one another. I think it is a case of making the best of a process that is undoubtedly going to pose challenges and frustrations, but I believe those challenges are going to make the journey, and the end results, much, much more gratifying.

ake987
Jan. 22, 2011, 01:33 PM
I'm with scubed! I've also resigned to the fact that my horse will probably never be consistent. When you have no expectations, they can't fail you. And now, being new to the eventing world - I have to plan my events weeks ahead of time knowing that my horse is jackyl & hyde?! It should be fun.

Wine, Whine, Wine - Mamosa's if its an early morning disaster ;)

Every day would be a GOODMORNING if it started with a mimosa!!! I LOVE THOSE THINGS!

TBrescue
Jan. 22, 2011, 02:03 PM
I try to laugh it off.....and/or cry and drink heavily.

Don't get me wrong, most days I LOVE my horse and would not trade him for anything. Then there are those days when my 20 year old been there done that OTTB acts like a 5 year old stud, compete with all that "attitude" Those are the days I hope and pray my riding is up for the challenge!

Last Monday was "bronc riding" day. Even though I had ridden Saturday and Sunday, Monday was like I hadn't been on his back in weeks! He was throwing his head, leaping in the air and taking off, and at one point I was seriously considering bailing and where I was going to land. Thankfully I managed to get him back under control and he didn't learn he could dump me!!

Most days he is the perfect horse for me, sane and safe and makes me work just hard enough to keep me learning :lol::lol:

The "fire breathing dragon" days are few and far between, but they do keep me on my toes!

jenm
Jan. 22, 2011, 02:17 PM
I'll take a "bad day" with my horse over any day without a horse!

I just remind myself how blessed I am to have a horse at all, and yes, I have had plenty of bad days including the ones where I have found myself covered in arena dirt after being launched. :yes:

bornfreenowexpensive
Jan. 22, 2011, 04:50 PM
I can't remember the last time I had a ride like that.

I think it is because my trainer once taught me to know when not to get on.

If I'm stressed, tired, not focused...or for what ever reason I can not leave work or life outside of the ring....I don't get on. Or I get on and go for a walk (on a horse that loves to hack out). You can not ride well if you are emotional or in a bad mood...so when I feel that..for whatever reason...I don't ride.

I might work them in hand. Or earlier this week I cut them loose in the indoor to let them get their bucks out as I knew they were not running around outside on the frozen footing. I may just groom them...but you have to know yourself and know that riding isn't always the right answer.

So if I had the start at the barn as you described. I would have worked him on the lunge line but I probably wouldn't have gotten on him. I would have decided he was in a turd mood...and he had just put me in a bad mood and so it wasn't the right time for me to get on his back.

Festivity
Jan. 22, 2011, 06:57 PM
By knowing that on those days that no one would take him for only $5....and remembering that it is 5 o'clock somewhere. :) Fortunately mine usually figures out when he has truly pushed the boundary and the next ride is good.

eventr4life
Jan. 22, 2011, 08:44 PM
Just Yesterday my mare was galllevanting around on the lead line while i was walking her up to the pasture, time after time i told her to stop bucking and randomly rearing while i walked her...
I was taking her back to the pasture and BAM she literally stepped on my ankle and sprained it. great.
so right now, not too happy with my so called horse.

deltawave
Jan. 22, 2011, 08:58 PM
I find keeping them at home helps me to see them more as animals with habits, preferences, personalities, quirks, mannerisms, peeves, and just plain COLOR rather than just being my riding/jumping/showing partner. So if I have a crappy ride, not only am I more likely to be able to figure out why (there was a truck and hunters in the next field over all morning, THAT'S why Bonnie is hypervigilant and distracted) but I'm also more likely to notice the non-productive stuff that makes me :).

Looking after them has always been something I'm WAY, WAY better at than actually riding them, so even if I don't ride for weeks, I still can smile when I get a nicker or they come running when I whistle, or even if Keebler aims a kick at my head when he's on his 15-minutes-per-week turnout, because I have the whole context in place (he's feeling good!), I know what they're thinking, and I am not constantly on a "get better, get better" agenda. If I were, boy, I'd be bummed all the time because I *never* seem to get better! :lol:

I don't mean for this to come off as all touchy-feely, because I'm not that way at all. I don't think of horses as people, don't frame my life around their whims, and DO demand that they act like horses: do my bidding when it's work time, be a horse on YOUR time (with variable compliance). But I've never been someone who looks at RIDING as the main yardstick for feeling like I'm having a good and satisfying horsey life. Just let me have them around, and often that's enough. :)

EventingJ
Jan. 22, 2011, 08:58 PM
riding someone else's brat always makes me appreciate mine more <3

eponacowgirl
Jan. 22, 2011, 09:53 PM
I will never be one of those people that never has a bad day or a bad ride and never gets frustrated with her horse. I don't know how you people do it!

You have to be one of those people. You can't "take it personally" as I tell my students. You have to sit up there, smirk, and say "this must be what my parents felt like when I was a teenager" take a step back, ask for and reward the horse for doing something so easy its funny (like halt), scratch him on the neck, drop your reins and get on with your life.

You said you're both green? You need to remember that most of the time, he is just as frustrated/confused as you are and you get irritated and upset is NOT going to fix the issue. Disassociate, break it down, take a step back, and schedule a lesson for the next day. :)


I really don't think this is a situation of the horse and I being a bad match for one another. I think it is a case of making the best of a process that is undoubtedly going to pose challenges and frustrations, but I believe those challenges are going to make the journey, and the end results, much, much more gratifying.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Write it on a notecard and post it on your tack box, dashboard, helmet visor.

Bobthehorse
Jan. 22, 2011, 10:17 PM
I get drunk usually. Ive had quite a few of those days with this one, but I can remember those days with my past horses as well, it happens. Sort of just have to let it roll off and start again the next day, but it usually involves me kicking my own butt into gear as well as his.

Eventcrazy
Jan. 23, 2011, 12:01 AM
only on bad dressage days! I remind myself what I really love my pony for!!! getting me around xc!

peachy
Jan. 23, 2011, 12:15 AM
I make him stand on the curb with a sign around his neck that says "Free to bad home".

This is perfect. It's going to be my favorite new mental image when we do battle over the "scary corner" for the millionth time.

Pocket Pony
Jan. 23, 2011, 01:06 AM
Great timing of this thread as I had one of "those days" yesterday! I'm boarding Mac (my super green mustang) for the winter so we can get some work done in an indoor (of course, dontcha know that when I decide to board him we haven't had a rainy day since and I *could* be riding at home). Usually the barn is pretty quiet but yesterday there were two people who trailered in whom he hadn't seen before. They were riding in the outdoor which is separated from the indoor by a line of trees. So he could see *something* out there but it wasn't anyone he was familiar with so he was calling like, "whoooooo are youoouuuuuuu?" and would not, could not focus. Spooking at a shadow, leaping in the air when trotting, my goodness, we never even made it to canter! :eek:

But then today he was such a good boy - quiet, happy, forward, we had a good school, went for a nice little trail ride, the sun was shining, it was probably 70 degrees . . . it was a good day. :)

So I guess I just vent when I have a bad day and smile when I have a good day and hope for more good days than bad.

leilatigress
Jan. 23, 2011, 01:06 AM
I remember that I have a secret weapon called a child and she is in love with said horse. I also believe in bribes of peppermints. 1 for not walking on the child to the wash rack, 2 for not dancing all over the child while brushing, 1 for not biting the child while girthing and 3 for not cantering with the child. Now she'd never dream of doing any of the above to the child but she can and will dance while being brushed (sensitivity dictated by the moon) and snap the air while being girthed and holding her breath if she knows I'm riding.

ake987
Jan. 23, 2011, 01:34 PM
I can't remember the last time I had a ride like that.

I think it is because my trainer once taught me to know when not to get on.

If I'm stressed, tired, not focused...or for what ever reason I can not leave work or life outside of the ring....I don't get on. Or I get on and go for a walk (on a horse that loves to hack out). You can not ride well if you are emotional or in a bad mood...so when I feel that..for whatever reason...I don't ride.

I might work them in hand. Or earlier this week I cut them loose in the indoor to let them get their bucks out as I knew they were not running around outside on the frozen footing. I may just groom them...but you have to know yourself and know that riding isn't always the right answer.

So if I had the start at the barn as you described. I would have worked him on the lunge line but I probably wouldn't have gotten on him. I would have decided he was in a turd mood...and he had just put me in a bad mood and so it wasn't the right time for me to get on his back.

This is really great advice, and some that I am absolutely going to adhere by in the future. No matter how focused I thought I was, my horse *absolutely* knew that I was still upset, and I was sending him that negative energy.

My trainer said essentially the same thing. Get outside. Get off. DON'T do work! My gelding does *love* to hit the trails, but at 8 degrees it was a liiiiiiittle too cold that day. Damn winter, I need the trails!!! But yes, next time, I'm not going to bother getting on if I'm bent outta shape.

deltawave
Jan. 23, 2011, 01:41 PM
Many, many were the days when a planned dressage school with Gwen turned into a day for long canters. Funny enough, I can't think of even ONE day when a planned long canter day turned into a dressage school, though! :winkgrin:

ake987
Jan. 23, 2011, 01:42 PM
Lather, rinse, repeat. Write it on a notecard and post it on your tack box, dashboard, helmet visor.

I just wrote it on three neon flash cards. 1 is going in my car, 1 is going in whatever pocket I have for the barn that day, and 1 in my trunk. Thank you. :D

ake987
Jan. 23, 2011, 01:47 PM
Many, many were the days when a planned dressage school with Gwen turned into a day for long canters. Funny enough, I can't think of even ONE day when a planned long canter day turned into a dressage school, though! :winkgrin:

I have OCD. I *thrive* with structure and organization. So, when a dressage school goes to sh*t, I think it rattles me a little bit more than the average person, and it takes me a little extra time to adjust, and not have a panic attack because our schedule isn't being followed. :(

Whew. Came out and said it. :yes: But, I think that might explain why it's so hard for me to let go when I have to abandon a work schedule.

But, yes. Funny how nice, relaxing days never turn into work days, and how much nicer a prescribed work day can end if it's just not in the cards, and you relax and go with the flow. Thanks, DW. :)

ss3777
Jan. 23, 2011, 06:08 PM
I suffer too! My guy is a great guy, as long as cross country is not on the menu!

Because he is so much fun with everything else and I am so attached to the little bugger.....moving on is hard! I am forced to go back to hunters for a spell and either sell him or live in hunter world........never easy! Good luck!!

piaffeprincess98
Jan. 23, 2011, 07:00 PM
I suffer through this with my OTTB all the time with our dressage. One day he can be soft, supple and relaxed and listening to every little thing I say, like dressage is supposed to be. But most days, he starts off quiet, builds, and then I can generally get him back to somewhat quiet again.

I often talk to him during our ride and find myself getting frustrated, but I've learned to not act on it. It will just make it worse. I basically ask myself and him what is going on inside his head? Why does he get so tense and worked up about something as simple as basic trot/canter circles? That's the thing that can really get to me. There's just no explantation, other than that's he's an OTTB. The same thing happens in jumping sometimes too, and since he's my first OTTB, it's difficult for me to understand him sometimes.

But I've found that with him, he requires a lot of reassurance and praise. As much as my OCD personality would like, I also can't start a ride with a list of things I have to do that day. Sure, it's nice to ride through my test before a show, but those plans often get sidetracked, depending on how he comes out. They're animals. You have to be flexible with your expectations.

I find that a good night's sleep helps clear your head. In the morning, you'll wake up with more clarity and a determination for today to be better than yesterday.

I have two great trainers who also give me wonderful pep talks when I'm feeling sorry for myself. My eventing coach reminds me how awesome he is cross-country. Who wouldn't want the feeling he gives me out there? It's a horse who loves to run and jump, which is what it's all about anyways right? She also reminds me how far we've come in such a short time and just puts things in perspective. I think just talking to someone else helps as well. If you keep your frustrations internal, it will make you more upset.

bornfreenowexpensive
Jan. 23, 2011, 07:52 PM
I have OCD. I *thrive* with structure and organization. So, when a dressage school goes to sh*t, I think it rattles me a little bit more than the average person, and it takes me a little extra time to adjust, and not have a panic attack because our schedule isn't being followed. :(

Whew. Came out and said it. :yes: But, I think that might explain why it's so hard for me to let go when I have to abandon a work schedule.

But, yes. Funny how nice, relaxing days never turn into work days, and how much nicer a prescribed work day can end if it's just not in the cards, and you relax and go with the flow. Thanks, DW. :)

ok...to help your OCD self:D....you need to just have ONE plan. As my coach Jimmy Wofford would say...your plan should be to be ready to change your plan!

Ride the horse you have...not the plan you have. Don't make it more complicated.

Other thing that can help is keeping a journal. Making notes of what you did and how it felt etc. Then when you are frustrated....flip through your journel and see how far you have come.

Good luck!

Pocket Pony
Jan. 23, 2011, 08:53 PM
Well after having a great ride with my mustang today I guess that what makes the bad days tolerable is knowing there will be good days again! Our worst ride ever was on Friday. Our best ride ever was today. Horses. Go figure. :lol:

Bit O Groby
Jan. 23, 2011, 10:36 PM
Dark chocolate and wine.