View Full Version : What would you do?

Jan. 19, 2011, 10:43 PM
Ok, well I really debated on whether or not to post this, but I decided to just post it anyway. Ok, so long story..
Some friends of mine acquired 4 horses- two whose owner couldn't keep and two from my trainer that were getting older, but were perfect for their daughter. Well she hates riding, so they never go to the farm. (horses kept at the grandfather's). I've spent the last year working with one of them. He's around 9 or 10, and when I first started riding him, he knew hardly anything and was spooky and could be difficult to handle. Fast forward a year. I go out to the barn about 4-5 times a week, the others rarely go out. The grandfather is the nicest man in the world- loves when I and my friends come out and play with the ponies and enjoy them. The gelding I'm working with now walks, trots, canters pretty calmly, and we're working on training level dressage tests. Well now daughter-in-law decides she no longer wants me out there, so she told me that I can no longer come out. I don't think the grandfather knows completely what's going on, but he doesn't want to upset them. So basically, what should I do? Just wait a while and hope they change their minds? (How long should I give it? a month? more, less?) They offered to sell me this horse, but I'd have to ask my old trainer if she could use him for lessons or part lease him to help a little with the monthly costs. Idk, I'm just really confused and upset as this blew up out of nowhere and the grandfather had told me he was going to help me level with a small arena when it warms up a bit. My parents think I should just move on, but I have never loved a horse THIS much before (I have formed such a bond with him), and if I don't do something, he will just stand in a pasture w/o attention. So, any advice (or sympathy?) ;) Thank you for listening to my vent, I'm just so confused at the moment. :(

Jan. 19, 2011, 10:51 PM
Sorry :( Unfortunately, you don't own or lease the horse formally (I assume no contract), so you have no rights to do anything with the horse, and the owner can revoke your permission to ride the horse at any time.

I would sit down with your parents and trainer together and reasonably evaluate whether you can afford to buy this horse.

If not, make it known to the owner that you appreciate the riding time they have given you, and should they ever change their minds you would love the opportunity to ride the horse again.

Sadly, then you do need to move on.

Jan. 19, 2011, 11:54 PM
First, look on the bright side. You had a good run, not many of us get to ride for free, and you had a long stretch of good fortune.

Second, you don't know what the DIL's objection was. Maybe she saw you had a free ride, maybe there was a problem with your bringing friends, maybe she's just being a snit, but it might be worth trying these this...

Contact the DIL and a) thank her for everything and b) ask her if she would consider a lease. Make sure you tell her that she can stipulate how/when/under what circumstances you ride, and what you do and don't do. She might consider this, and it might lead to a discussion of the problems with the previous arrangement. This would at least give you insight as to why you lost the ride.

I hope you can make this work somehow but I agree with joi, you may just need to move on. It probably doesn't feel like luck, but you really did have a good thing going, and you probably learned a great deal. Unfortunately great situations tend not to last long.

Best of luck to you!