View Full Version : Ever fallen in love with a horse not your own?

Dec. 23, 2010, 11:02 PM
Update (see post 30)

I am right now! And it doesn't make sense to me... Curious if anyone else has had similar irrational thoughts?!

A friend has a horse who she doesn't get to ride much anymore due to anxiety and other time commitments. My trainer works him most of the time. I've never been on him but I LOVE watching him go and I handle him on the ground.

The other day he nickered at me from his pasture when I got out of my car and it hit me that I am really attached to this horse. I've never even been on him but he is the sweetest, most beautiful horse. Would love to ride him and would probably buy him in a heart beat if he were for sale.

Anyway, I have two horses and ride a few others (all really nice horses at various levels) a couple times a week. Why do I end up so focused on a horse that I don't own or ride? Anyone else had this same issue? Tell me I'm normal- Would be fun to hear about your experiences!

Dec. 23, 2010, 11:16 PM
The pony that got me into Welsh Cobs was that way for me. I worked him for an outside client for a college class and fell in love with him. I'm able to separate emotion from work, but there was some small piece of me on the other side of the wall that I built up that hoped we'd end up together. He has these huge floating gaits, the most trusting personality, and has all the charm of the Welsh Cob breed. We were a quirky, happy team together, and he was a dream to work with. We would have ended up together, as the client was considering selling him to me, but in the end neither I nor the client would end up with him due to a health issue. He's in a place that I can visit him, but he's not my forever horse. It hurts, but it's for the best. I know exactly what you mean by irrational...I'd take him in a heartbeat if I had the money to care for him, but I don't.

Dec. 23, 2010, 11:19 PM
Irrational? Nope. ;)

Horses aren't books, or cars, or other *things*, they're living beings and we respond to them as such -- as they do to us. It's only natural that we feel for them according to their personalities and interactions with us. And it sounds like you have a real connection with this horse, if he's nickering to you from the pasture as soon as you show up.

Maybe you should approach the owner or your trainer and let them know you're interested in this horse, either if the owner wants to sell, or perhaps as a partial lease. :winkgrin:

Dec. 23, 2010, 11:45 PM
Sort of like falling in love with someone else's boy friend. I try to walk away. Its only heart ache. I can admire from afar, but I don't wanna fall in love with someone else's horse. :winkgrin:

Dec. 23, 2010, 11:59 PM
Yes and it is hard when someone elses horse developes a relationship with you.

Dec. 24, 2010, 12:32 AM
Yes, and luckily he became my horse about 6 months later.

Is there any chance of this friend wanting to sell him and you being able to buy him? If not, I'd say take AnotherRound's suggestion...

I saw my horse for the first time at a horse trial and my trainer was riding him. I thought he was the most beautiful horse I had ever seen. I had just started riding again, and heard tidbits about him being crazy/difficult/unhappy/hard to deal with. When I started looking for a horse I didn't mention him or suggest looking at him because I wasn't sure he was for sale, and given all I'd heard we would be a horrid match. His owner (who knew she was a mismatch with him, and was therefore riding another horse at the trainer's barn while she kept him at her house) was watching me in a lesson, and at that point knew my general price range and what I was looking for - and suggested I try him. My trainer smiled, thought about it, and lit up - and said "I think you'd be a GREAT match!" Turned out we were. But I was intentionally having nothing to do with him thinking we weren't, even though it was totally love at first sight - once I actually rode him, I would have been absolutely devastated had I not been able to end up with him. (The love at first sight was mutual, too - he apparently used to be awful on the ground, trying to bite and kick, but from the first was a cuddler with me.)

Dec. 24, 2010, 06:26 AM
Here's my story (and maybe there will be a happy ending one day!):
I live here in Germany. I'm riding with a Grand Prix rider that is a friend of a friend and I'm leasing an older Intermediare horse (he's a good boy). I tell my friend/trainer that I want to buy a nice, normal horse one day (my horse in the States is not your average amateur horse... and while I can ride that kind of horse I'm kind of tired of it and want a quiet, normal horse :)). So, one night we are watching a bunch of people riding in the indoor and there is her young horse (by her Grand Prix stallion out of an Intermediare level mare) being ridden by a young girl. We comment that he is just too cute and she says how he's always been very positive about life and very happy. Then she says "You need a horse like him!" and I ask "Why not.... him??". This horse, Ronaldinho, is best friends with my lease horse and they go to the paddock together and live in stalls beside each other so I'd already been kissing his nose and giving him cookies before this. :) So then the love affair begins! I've since ridden him once and while it was rather uneventful and slightly boring because there were too many people in the indoor to do anything- I'm quite certain he has the personality and breeding to be what I want in a horse. My friend is confident that he should be a Grand Prix horse one day as well. So... now I need some money! Anyone want to loan me some????????:D I'm already daydreaming about all the wonderful clothes I will buy him and the saddle I will buy him (he's really wide so my saddle is a no-go)... and what colors would look best on him.... :yes::yes::yes:

Lady Counselor
Dec. 24, 2010, 06:51 AM
Yes. I have. :(
And it typically doesn't end well unless you can afford to buy him outright.
Either keep some reserve between him and you or seek a way to have some control over his destiny.
Voice of experience: mine ended spectaculary badly.

Dec. 24, 2010, 07:10 AM
A couple of times.
Once with a gorgeous Rheinlander mare, when I lived in Germany. I was in no way qualified to ride her and never did but she was my soulmate horse until I left.
Then here, fell in love with a trained to GP gelding who was semi-retired to a farm close to me. I ended up being able to ride him whenever I wanted; his owner never plans to sell him and so he is now totally retired at the same farm.
Neither one of mine were bad endings. Both horses were well taken care of by their owners and stable owners and I see no reason to discourage such a thing, myself. Just loving a horse doesn't mean you have to own it; if it is in a bad situation, then that is a different matter.

Dec. 24, 2010, 11:28 AM
yeap love this little foal black and beautiful with plenty of spirit
6yrs later
shes mine haha now shes 18 and we still love each other and have plenty of fun

Dec. 24, 2010, 02:16 PM
He was a welsh cob stallion belonging to a nearby stud, so I took my welsh cob mare to him and have his son now, and I'm luckily equally besotted with him :D

Dec. 24, 2010, 02:21 PM
Have definitely been there. When I was a working student I was really fond of all (well, most) of the horses I worked with, but one came in for sale that was really it for me. I spent tons of time with him and he would come over to the fence and graze by me while I hung out; there was definitely a mutual attachment. I was SO sad when I moved home and had to leave him - but ended up being given him a few days later, so it all worked out!

Dec. 24, 2010, 02:45 PM
Yep! His name is Totilas...I believe you know him as well. :)

Other than him, yes their was a grand prix dressage horse called Häagen Dazs that was ridden by David Lackey at the time. He was boarded at the same barn I was and I fell head over hills for him. I found out years later that he had been sold to South America. I was 13 years old at the time.....long long time ago :)
I wonder if he is still alive, anyone know him?

Dec. 24, 2010, 03:22 PM
You know the scene in Hannah and Her Sisters, when Diane Wiest and Carrie Fisher meet the architect at a party they are catering, and they have this awkward cab ride home, jockeying to be the one who goes home with him?

That's how my friend and I used to horse shop. I would send her a link to a DreamHorse ad I was considering, then she'd get interested in the horse, and we'd go back and forth trying not to get into fights over them. It was very high school!

Right now, my horse has quite a few admirers. There is a trainer who loves him and wants to have him in her barn, but I can't afford to keep him with her. His current trainer also loves him but can't afford to buy him. And I have this perfect Romeo but am having some health problems that prevent me from riding.

It's like a Victorian novel.

Dec. 24, 2010, 03:35 PM
Its fine to fall in love with a horse that belongs to another, as long as you keep it in perspective.You don't want to become a horse stalker! Eventually the attraction becomes less intense and you meet other horses you adore, if you are exposed. Horses are like that- generous spirits that will attach to people they like and are familiar, so they are total enablers.

But you have many choices: wait for the attraction to pass, walk away, talk to the present owner about a lease or rehome, or outright offer a fair price and buy him. I've done that. But I also learned that part of the joy in loving horses is... loving horses! Lots of them. I certainly don't want the responsibility of taking care of lots of them so window shopping is just fine.

Just like if some handsome sexy young man gives me a one of *those* smiles these days, I sigh inwardly and enjoy the fact that I can experience such nice feelings, without thinking too much about the fact that I would never act on those attraction feelings...or that the guy might actually be thinking I look like his mother or grandma and the smile was totally innocent.

Have fun with good feelings and find a way to make the situation work for you.

Dec. 24, 2010, 03:59 PM
Yep. Jaime brought Jaeger to me to ride so she could sell him.

I rode him through as planned, but no sale'd him, even though she got what she wanted.

I paid the RNM commission and gave her what she wanted.

He was a son of Jazzin Around, and a gorgeous bay with three gorgeous gaits and a 'point and shoot' jump. And manners. Oh boy. He was run through a fence by a neighbors dog-got stitched in his nose. It was time for the stitches to come out, I walked up to him and pulled them-no halter. I gave birth to my son the next day. THAT's how trustworthy and easy going he was.

I sold him after a bad wreck that wasn't his fault (a roll of wire was left in the grass, and it 'chased' him-I came off, head injury, not good) and my family convinced me he was too dangerous. He wasn't, he just had some ghosts in the closet that involved ropes and feet.

I regret it every blessed day. Anyone ever runs across a big bay gelding with scar on his nose, and a tat registered to a 1996 gelding name Jagged Edge-let me know. :-(

Trixie's mom
Dec. 24, 2010, 04:08 PM
As a trainer, all the time.

Dec. 24, 2010, 04:24 PM
the minute I saw Fuego under the lights at the WEG and he bent down to rub his nose before going in.

Now, my DH says that I may "never, ever buy another gray horse".

I think even he'd make and exception for him.

Dec. 24, 2010, 05:08 PM
I have a few times. Usually a stallion, but the one time I did manage to bring home one she never left:)


Dec. 24, 2010, 08:19 PM
Currently am riding a friends horse while hes a way for the holidays. Have fallen in love-and I think its mutual. He nickers for me and comes to the gate when he hears my car. He also gets a bit wierd when I go get my own horse out. He has so much personality I've even considered making an offer. We also really fit well together under saddle-he can be quirky and I love that.

Dec. 24, 2010, 09:50 PM
Yup, my schoolmaster. I loved her way before I ever got to ride her. When her owner bought a couple of younger horses I politely signaled that i was interested in leasing. It took another couple of years till the owner was ready to let go two days a week ;).
Once I started riding her, I decided that I wanted a mare just like her with just a little better conformation (uphill ;)) and a little better natural gaits. Guess what I bought this year. :) Before her, I would have focused on finding a gelding, but i went out specifically looking at mares.

My schoolmaster (half Holsteiner): http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs353.snc3/29255_1365079079338_1002474968_841801_4692435_n.jp g
My young mare (reg. Holsteiner): http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs734.ash1/162798_1587471559011_1002474968_1297967_7104039_n. jpg

Dec. 24, 2010, 11:41 PM
That's pretty much how I got my boy. Love lead to lease, lease lead to sale.

Carol O
Dec. 25, 2010, 05:25 PM
There is a mare I know, who I just love! She is big boned, and a bit coarse, but a big mover, and she has the kindest eyes! She has been "around the block" enough that she is very defensive under saddle, but I would love the opportunity to find the keys to unlock all that. She is very unperect, in so many ways, but I adore her! In the barn, she understands how to start a conversation. When she wants you to notice her, she makes it clear, and then she continues to engage you to continue to tell her that she is indeed lovely. I think that is why I think she is so special. I love that mare!

Dec. 25, 2010, 07:22 PM
Yep, a kid at the barn I used to ride at got a young new mare and went on vacation shortly after. The mare was a bitchy alpha-horse-type, and was a bit of a pain. The kid asked me to ride her while she was gone and it was love at first ride. I told both she and her mother many times over that I would take her off of their hands if they ever opted to give her away (I was a not-too-far-out-of-college broke young adult at the time). I rode her whenever I got the chance, but didn't think about it too much because I knew there was no chance I'd ever be able to afford her. And I had my own horse moving up through the levels at the time, and was busy with....well....everything!

Fast forward a couple of years when things had gone south (bad boarding situation for the mare, ill-fitting saddle, bitchy attitude that had gotten worse because of the first two issues, and a kid who was afraid of the ever-increasingly-bitchier alpha-horse attitude), and I get a call from the mother asking if I would take the horse. I replied that I would never be able to come close to what they bought her for, and she said "I just want to recoup my costs from the last show." Done and done :D

She's been a horse of a lifetime of mine and I will never let her go. I'm pretty sure we're the same personality in different bodies, and she took me back through the upper levels despite the fact that she probably shouldn't have been able to as conformation should have dictated. But many year-end championships later she's now on the "down" slope to easier things. She's still my absolute favorite horse in the world to ride and I think about the people I got her from just about every day and say a little "thank you" to them for wanting a good home beyond anything else for their mare.

Dec. 26, 2010, 11:20 PM

While I was in college my mare developed soundness issues that I spent months trying to solve. During this period a friend of mine was traveling out of the country and she and the BOs asked if I would ride her horse while she was gone. He was kinda (okay, really) an ass, loved trying to dump people and TOTALLY knew when he had your number. The first time I got on him he gave it everything he had to intimidate me!

However, we came to an agreement quickly and eventually when he learned what he couldn't get away with, he turned into an awesome horse (and stopped dumping lesson students too). I rode him even after the owner came back since she was too busy with classwork. My mare never was completely sound and I ended up finding a nice light riding/pasture puff home for her. That spring I leased him, and in the summer I bought him for cheap when his owner decided she'd rather ride WP.

The first time I asked to buy him and the owner told me no... I was devastated. But then, a week later, I got a text asking me if I'd still like to have him... best day ever! We're learning eventing now and every day I discover more and more what a great, talented boy he is! :D

I suppose I'd say that you should be careful before you give your heart away, but don't give up hope! You never know what could happen! Things have a way of working themselves out.

Dec. 27, 2010, 01:45 AM
Yes however its not mutual. :( She thinks I'm okay but not outstanding. She chose the DD instead and while I totally get it I am just immature enough to be jealous. We do have moments of mutual love like when we get to canter and when I give her rub downs while on bareback. (Jeans rock for getting the hard to reach places just right.)

Dec. 30, 2010, 03:20 PM
Yes. And his owner didn't see him for what he was, his trainer didn't appreciate him. And he treated them with the same indifference they treated him with. But he and I clicked. I was dumb, I had my "dream horse" that turned out to be a nightmare. Looking back, I should have sold that horse and bought the one that my heart belonged to.

Dec. 30, 2010, 03:27 PM
Yes. Trainer's horse. But, as she just reminded me, she's left her to us in her will. But, I hope she lives a long and happy life. She's an awesome trainer as well as a wonderful person.

Dec. 30, 2010, 06:32 PM
My first instructor's L5 jumper. And it was mutual. When I fist started taking lessons there, I did not know who's horse he was or that he was so talented, I just thought he was the most stunning horse I'd ever seen.

I never rode him, but whenever he heard my voice at the barn, he'd whinny and kick until I went to see him and give him a pat. If he was turned out, he'd come to the gate and wait for me. And strangely enough, everyone said he was never a 'people' horse, except with me.

Its been many years since he's been retired. He's now at a farm right around the corner from my place and I breathe a huge sigh of relief whenever I drive by and see him out in the pasture. I did offer to take him when it was time to retire, but he's with the family of his old rider and they love him just as much as I do, so all is good.

And I still have a thing for chestnuts with chrome. But now I also have one of my own, and he's definitely the love of my life. And strangely enough... he's much more a people horse on the ground, but he's a jerk under saddle for everyone but me, LOL.

Apr. 6, 2012, 07:35 PM
Posted this a long time and ago and was trying to find the original post. Things have an interesting way of coming full circle!

The horse that I "loved" so much moved to another barn about a year ago away from my trainer. Still have never ridden him but the owner called me today and asked if I am still looking for a schoolmaster. She is thinking about getting out of horses and wants to ensure her horse has a good home.

The timing is terrible and my trainer and DH are lukewarm (at best) on the idea but I can't NOT be interested. We are meeting next week to talk more and see if it is a match...

Apr. 6, 2012, 09:08 PM
Go for it. If its right, the universe will create a path that works.

Galloping Granny
Apr. 6, 2012, 09:46 PM
Oh, yes! Never dreamed it would happen. A young, green Friesian mare who came to me for training. I had trained one other Friesian and swore I'd never ride another. The first one was a total slug and had no nerve endings, and no interest in relating to people. I finally agreed to take on this young mare and she was totally opposite. Probably the most talented dressage horse I've ever sat on, but difficult at first because she was so green and sensitive. But she was so sweet and willing and tried so hard. She just had a beautiful soul and we both fell totally in love. Her owners were wonderful, but after we successfully passed her IBOP test and she became a Crown mare ( one of only a few in the country ) she went home to be a broodmare. I and other people who saw her told the owners she should compete, but her foals are worth so much they can't afford not to breed her, and I could never afford to buy her. My heart still has a very special place for her, and some of our magical moments together are burned into my heart.

Apr. 6, 2012, 09:54 PM
I hope it works out the way you want it to.

I have loved many clients horses but never allowed myself to fall in love with them. IMO it is not the same thing.

The one horse I did allow myself to fall in love with, I did AFTER making a solid in writing purchase agreement with the owner/client. She then backed out :cry:

Since then, I have fallen in love with my own horse :) funny how things happen.

Apr. 6, 2012, 10:01 PM
Yes, I can say that I have. It ended up working out quite well though. A women asked my trainer to sell her horse as she was done with horses. I ended up riding him in a couple lessons and my trainer thought he was wonderful for me, as he is a schoolmaster. I ended up riding him twice a week(I had another horse to ride and limited time.) Multiple times my trainer said if only you had money. I don't have much money at all and the women was asking $20,000. Because of that even when I felt myself falling in love I refused to admit that I loved him. Once it got warmer and I moved to a barn closer to my house I rode him more and when summer came almost everyday. I also showed him and took him to Lendon Gray's Youth Dressage Festival. He was the absolute perfect horse for me. We were a match made in heaven. He was not exactly right for everyone. On the ground he can be very difficult. He isn't so much with me. He has transformed sense I started riding him. He has relaxed tremendously, you can see it in his eye. He is also a cuddle bug with me. In the end the women wanted to get out from under him and he was given to me. I ended up with my dream horse even if I didn't dream about him before I met him.

Apr. 6, 2012, 10:06 PM
I fell inlove with a horse my trainer took off the track in november, i only rode her...maybe 5 times? And was attached!!!! After a few times of asking my trainer if i could excercise her again, SHE GAVE HER TO ME!! I honestly cant thank her enough for giving me the greatest present ever. For giving me the little mare that makes my every day. I cant stop thinking about my horse, cant stop trying to find things to buy her....i litterally spend all my money i have left over from bills on her!!! I love my little girl!!!
All from falling in love with my trainers horse

Apr. 6, 2012, 10:10 PM
As a trainer, more than once.

There are two out there now, one who is doing nothing but I still can't get a lease on him. Sigh.

ANother I would love a client to buy as he is not in my budget.

Lucky you! Let us know how things turn out!

Apr. 7, 2012, 04:48 AM
Yes, on several occasions. If you have no chance of buying the horse, it is best to distance yourself, at least emotionally if you work with the horse regularly. That's not to say that you don't develop a friendly working relationship with the horse and treat it as well as you would treat your own - more that you resist the pull of falling head over heels in 'heart horse' love.

I was in love with two horses at a previous workplace, both of them being regular rides too. When I had to leave due to an injury, it was those horses I missed most of all, not the job. Lesson learned - I still develop relationships with horses I work with a lot, but I don't fall into the trap of getting too attached. It saves a lot of heartache in the long run.

On the flip side - I've owned a number of horses that I've never felt that attached to. I still love them very much, but only get attached to a special few. In my teenage years I always had to lease horses rather than own them, so perhaps that comes from having to say goodbye to the first few horses at the end of the lease, I'm not sure.

What I've learned? Unless it's a horse you know you can own and keep in the long run...don't get too attached. Find the fine line and don't step over it.

Apr. 7, 2012, 10:18 AM
Yup. About 5 years ago I fell for a 17 h crossbreed gelding. Loved him. Tried furiously to buy him about 12 times and the non-riding owner refused.
Eventually the horse came up lame due to only being shod 2x a year (typical idy the owner)

I heard the owner talking about shooting him due to neglect caused lameness.

I left and couldn't go back. Horse is better now and wasn't shot. Now I keep my distance from others horses.

Apr. 7, 2012, 11:06 AM
Right now.. I didnt want it to happen and its of no use..
I will go back to Germany and leave him behind..
And i feel bad already as he seems to trust me. His personality changed so much during the last two months, from beeing a little frustrated and bored to a self confident, relaxed, curious horse... I feel he considers us a team and I'm going to desert him...

Apr. 7, 2012, 01:17 PM
I wasn't looking for a horse, but I fell hopelessly, head over heels for an OTTB that my friend (a h/j trainer) has in for resale. He and I are clearly attached, but she was asking too much for me at the moment, so I tried avoiding him. I've never had a thoroughbred, but this one just hit me right between the eyes....so as the universe turns....he has a hoof "problem" and needs a long rest (he was last raced in November 2011), and they don't have the facility or want to put more money into him. I have the facility, and I believe he will be sound with time off, pasture, TLC, etc., (which he needs just from having raced so long..he's 8) and if not, he'll make a great babysitter, because he is so laid back. Things are suddenly working out for "us" and now he's being given to me, and will come over to my place next week. I'm convinced it was just meant to be...from the beginning. I'm so happy. There is something so intense that happens when you connect that way with a horse. It is just freaky. He hugs me, follows me around and comes "alive" when he sees or hears me. He had a pretty good career on the track and was obviously loved very much all of his life and seemed so lost when he arrived. Can't wait.

Apr. 7, 2012, 01:47 PM

The first time it was a horse that a friend was selling. I went and tried him and fell in looove on the first ride. The woman who was leasing him ended up wanting to buy him and I lost out, and I was devastated. :cry::cry:

Two weeks later I met my (current) horse. He was not what I was looking for, but he really is the PERFECT horse for me!!! I actually passed on him the day I went to see him and decided a week later to take a chance on him. I do not regret that decision one bit. He is my heart horse, but he has had more than his share of issues and I have considered retiring him several times....he's still NOT ready to retire!

The second time I had just made the decision to retire my horse, and went to see a horse that was advertised for sale or free lease. It was love at first sight. My first ride on him left me grinning from ear to ear. Unfortunately I lost my job a week later....and didn't have the funds to keep 2 horses. The owner held onto him for 6 months for me while I tried to come up with a way to afford a 2nd horse. Ultimately she sent him off to someone else....where he remains to this day. He was definitely the one that got away. I still think about him.....

Apr. 7, 2012, 03:42 PM
Right now, my horse has quite a few admirers. There is a trainer who loves him and wants to have him in her barn, but I can't afford to keep him with her. His current trainer also loves him but can't afford to buy him. And I have this perfect Romeo but am having some health problems that prevent me from riding.

Since you brought this thread back to life, I thought I would update my post. I leased my horse out for a few months, and the gal did indeed fall in love. She tried to buy him. Even though I had no idea whether I would be physically able to ride him or any horse, I ended the lease and started riding him myself for the first time since I bought him on a whim two years ago. Although he still has a bevy of admirers, he is my one and only. It all worked out in the end!:)

I am really enjoying all the happy endings in this thread.

Apr. 7, 2012, 04:22 PM
No, but a young lady at my barn has fallen in love with my horse. They have a better relationship than he and I do, on the ground anyway. I'm not much of one for cuddling with my horses. Her parents can't afford what the horse is worth, so I'm bending over backwards to make it work for them. Really hoping it doesn't come back to bite me in the butt. They are good people, and they would provide a lovely home. I'm just hoping my kindness doesn't get taken advantage of.

Horse is on payments, and still in my control until the payments are done. Which isn't a big deal since they are at my barn and won't be moving him even after they buy him. Still, I'm kind of out of a horse until they finish paying for him and I can go horse shopping.

Apr. 7, 2012, 05:29 PM
Yes. Last summer/fall my husband was stationed in Quantico, VA. I found a gorgeous farm near Warrenton to ride at, and the owner literally had an ex 3* eventer fall into her hands. First time I rode that horse I was in love, lol. His personality was amazing, and we just meshed *really* well together.

Currently having the same problem as the OP. I'm working with a green 7yr TB gelding who's owner wants me to ride and sell. Physically the horse is my dream horse...paint job and height. His personality is exactly what I look for in horses; a bit of fire and spunk, a small temper, super smart, and a thinker. I know she would sell him to me for next to nothing, and I could afford to keep him and he honestly would be a great horse for my husband, but there's no way I could campaign both him and my other horse, and I couldn't own him without showing him. He's too awesome. It breaks my heart every day I work with him and put him back in his stall knowing I can't have him, especially when he hangs his head over the gate and watches me leave. :(

*sigh* Stinkin' job market. If I could find something that was more stable than finding a horse or two to ride now and then, I'd have a better chance of talking DH into letting me get this horse. But, I am lucky enough to be able to work with him almost every day.

Apr. 9, 2012, 12:43 PM
This is the story of my life right now. Don't have a horse, can't afford one just now, but I seem to give pieces of my heart freely enough. And of course it's not just ONE horse, oh no.

I volunteer at a therapudic riding barn and there's an old mare there that I can't help but love. She has stolen any number of hearts, not just mine! She will live no where else until the day she dies, so I'm not in danger of 'losing' her that way--but she is about 26 years old.

I'm varying degrees of attached to other horses there as well. My lesson horse also seems intent on worming his way into my heart--who can resist a cuddle bug gelding? Not I.

I was attached to my previous lesson horse as well, and cried like mad for a day or two when he got sent home (for being too naughty to have many lessons--it was definitely a case of loving him despite himself, what a brat).

The chances of me ending up with almost any of the horses I'm currently fond of are slim to none. Oh well.

Apr. 9, 2012, 01:21 PM
Yes!!!! It is totally possible! The horse I was leasing got an abscess right before I had to go to a week long clinic. My coach looked around to see if she could find a replacement, and Monty's owner generously let me borrow him for the week. I fell in LOVE! I was so upset when he had to go back.. He came for sale about six months later, and I bought him immediately! It was totally a case of fate! <3

Apr. 9, 2012, 11:59 PM
Sometimes when its meant to be, things fall into place and the perfect thing falls in your lap. Go ride him and see if you still love him. Ive liked horses on the ground, but hated them in the saddle.

To answer your original question, yes, Ive fallen in love many times when a horse I dont own. Ive never owned, so its hard not to love a horse since I cant love my own. Its always, always ended in heartbreak. I have a very guarded heart because of it. This could work out in your favor, take the leap and see what happens. Since you know her, maybe you could do a trial.

Apr. 10, 2012, 12:40 AM
Please go ride him. I agree with the above poster.

Apr. 10, 2012, 12:52 AM
Yep . . . except he was a mule. I longed for him for two years, had every offer shot down, and worried and pined about his wellbeing and standards of care. Finally, his owner came to and sold him to me (for half of what I'd have been willing to pay). I've had him for three years now and will have him until he dies!

Apr. 10, 2012, 11:22 AM
OP I hope if it is meant to be it works out for you somehow!

I have definitely fallen in love with horses that aren't mine. One was given to me and he is one of the most amazing horses I have ever gotten to ride.

Another I rode for a while and nearly purchased but it fell through. I miss him like crazy but I have to trust that there was a reason it wasn't meant to be. I know he is well cared for as well. So even though I may sometimes wish things were different, sometimes it is for the best.

Hopefully something works out for you!

Apr. 10, 2012, 12:38 PM
I'm a sucker and I know it. I rode a horse at one barn a few years ago for a year and was devastated when my trainer left that barn. I went with her since her training is wonderful, but I was beside myself over not being able to keep in touch with the horse. He had just been diagnosed with IR /cushings type issues, and i had bought all the sugar free treats and powerade zero (for frozen treats) i could, and was really committed to making sure he would be staying healthy. His owners were fairly absentee, and i was the only person to ride him with any regularity, so he felt like my responsibility, and my buddy!

Ask mrb, i still miss that horse!!

My current ride is an absolute doll. I adore him. I rode with her years ago and this horse was a boarder then. I always thought of him as the big fancy horse (bay tb with connected star, stripe and snip), and thought it'd be really neat to be able to ride him some day. Now I do, and he's awesome! We've gone a long way together (especially confidence and partnership-wise) and i loff him ;-) Thankfully, so does my trainer (now his owner), and he'll have a happy retirement with her in probably 5-8 years. If there was a way for me to keep him, even as a pasture puff, i would. Adorable horse, wonderful temperament.

Another one of my trainer's horses I've also fallen for. The others i mentioned make sense since I rode both of them and developed a bond. But there's a pony of my trainer's, retired lesson horse. He's a funny shade of dun and my trainer jokes (lovingly) that he is part mule. Really there's nothing 'spectacular' about this pony, but I would love for him to come live out his life in my backyard. He's kinda low on the Totem pole and unassuming, I think he's the sweetest thing. I always look for him in the pasture. I've never ridden him (I'm much too big), and i've probably only seen him under saddle three times before he was retired. Donno what it is, but I adore him!

Apr. 10, 2012, 07:52 PM
My heart broke in November when I left a job that meant leaving a horse I consider one of my heart horses. I did not own him (he belongs to my former employer), but I have known him for most of his life and actually was the one who started him. I nursed him through a lot of lameness issues, a surgery, and groomed him at all his shows (when I didn't show him). I knew him inside and out. I knew what he was thinking, and he trusted me a great deal. I miss him terribly (just writing this makes me cry) but my love for him was not worth continuing in a job that was going down hill quickly. While he is cared for and loved, it is hard for me to think that he doesn't have anyone there who "gets" him (he's a quirky guy).

I've loved a lot of horses not my own. Par for the course in my line of work. This one has certainly been the hardest for me, though. I thought I would be with him through his old age. :cry:

Apr. 10, 2012, 10:31 PM
Update (see post 30)

I am right now! And it doesn't make sense to me... Curious if anyone else has had similar irrational thoughts?!

A friend has a horse who she doesn't get to ride much anymore due to anxiety and other time commitments. My trainer works him most of the time. I've never been on him but I LOVE watching him go and I handle him on the ground.

The other day he nickered at me from his pasture when I got out of my car and it hit me that I am really attached to this horse. I've never even been on him but he is the sweetest, most beautiful horse. Would love to ride him and would probably buy him in a heart beat if he were for sale.

Anyway, I have two horses and ride a few others (all really nice horses at various levels) a couple times a week. Why do I end up so focused on a horse that I don't own or ride? Anyone else had this same issue? Tell me I'm normal- Would be fun to hear about your experiences!

Oh my gosh yes. It's worse when you click better with the horse than the owner, owner sees this, and pays for you to ride him regularly each week/clinic with him/lesson with him, potentially show him...I fell.so.hard. for a gelding last winter, he is still one of only two horses that I have sat on, and the first time in the saddle, knew they were "the horse". I was in a position to buy the other "the horse" horse a few years ago. But last winter's horse, the owner didn't want to sell him, was happy just letting me ride him/school him. I learned SO much on him. Just wanted to buy him SO BADLY.

A year later if I could buy a horse I'd buy him. Right now. :sadsmile: I miss him (he moved w/ owner further south). Sad too knowing that he is likely now sitting in a pasture. I got to learn how to use a double bridle and do lots of fun fancy things with him. He was like a freight train and too big for most people and that is just like my golden ticket. My favorite type. :lol: I'm 5'11 and he was 18.1 but narrow, so he took up my leg but wasn't a wide ride, was super super powerful with a work ethic unsurpassed, just full of quirks and personality and gorgeous to boot (jet black, stripe, snip) and I just...ack, he has my heart still.

Also, there was a school pony at a barn many years ago whom I loved. I didn't ride him (he was a pony, obviously! Total walk/trot/beginner pony worth weight in gold type). He was a chestnut with a huge blaze and four stockings (ack, killer looks!) and SO quiet and sweet. I swear he was a dog in a former life. I wanted to sneak him into my backyard. lol!

JackSprats Mom
Apr. 11, 2012, 03:47 PM
Yep so I just bought her )

Apr. 11, 2012, 04:34 PM
I have been there too. My event trainer's horse was awesome. I loved watching him go cross country.

Once while my husband and I were jump judging at Eventful Acres in No. Cal I elbowed my hubby in the ribs as Knowzy (Sir KnowzALot) was approaching the big intro to prelim ditch we were judging saying "Honey, here comes my next horse!" To that bold statement he replied "Yeah, when pigs fly!"

It took me three years to make pigs fly but I finally ended up with my dream horse. Sadly, he is gone now but I have very fond memories of all the things we did together.

Apr. 12, 2012, 01:14 AM
My story does not have a happy ending... yet?

I do not have the funds necessary to own a horse at the moment. Of course I want to have one of my own, but it's not going to happen for at least a couple of years.

So, I had a half-lease on a beautiful black draft cross mare. The first time I rode her (because the horse I usually rode was lame) we just meshed so well. My trainer was telling me she was up for a half lease and we were "two peas in a pod". I started half-leasing her then. We had a wonderful 1.5 years together. I rode her more than her owner and learned SO MUCH. I've become a much better horse person and rider with my dear girl. She is a handful - spooky and headstrong - but we were a very good team. The owner and I, on the other hand, did not mesh so well. Nothing dramatic, it was just that she was jealous of our good rapport and occasionally did things I perceived to be irrational. She ended up moving the mare to a barn where I would not follow her (because of the trainer that was there) - she knew that very well. She also did not tell me before, but emailed me after the fact.
So I stepped away. Since then, the owner has tried to give her to me. I spent several days crying because my husband put his foot down and said "Not now". He was right. I guess I needed that reality check because we really can't afford it right now. But I just love her so much.

The owner is now no longer answering my emails, so I suspect she might have sold the mare. She was going to sell her to some one that I thought would not be a good fit. However, I'm hoping that maybe one day we can be together. Or maybe I will fall in love again. I just want my precious girl to be healthy and happy and loved.

I'm in a half-lease situation again, riding more than the owner. Fortunately, this owner is very sane and sweet. Green, riding-wise, but at least I can feel good about helping the horse's training for her. My current horse is a gelding, a Canadian warmblood. Certainly the most different from my mare I could have chosen.
I'm determined not to lose my heart and I don't think I will. I'm fond of him, though.

We will see what the future holds. Hopefully in a few years I will find my heart horse. Wish me luck.

Apr. 12, 2012, 01:22 AM
I didn't own my first horse until I was in college. It was love other people's horses or nothing.

I have no problem loving them for the time I'm with 'em.

Now that I'm old and paying for them, I'm super-psyched to be such a slut. I get all the love and none of the risk or bills.

Yessir, play the field. Love 'em and leave 'em.