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retreadeventer
Jun. 11, 2010, 10:35 AM
We have a small 15ac. piece of land sandwiched between two or three other houses on a small country road. There are 20-30 houses in neighborhood, it's not a development per se, but most are on smaller 1 ac lots. I have a couple of neighbors next to me with more land, and one or two have horses.
My next door neighbor, about a year there, just got a pony for daughter, and now I am having privacy problems. Last night mowing my fence line after 9pm, throwing grass and stuff into the paddock, after dark, I could not turn a horse out until he was finished doing it.
I have hinted, I have asked, I have told another neighbor who I knew would tell them. They stop for a while but then start again. It's just constant surveillance. When I get home from work they are over before I can get out of the car and go in the house to go to the bathroom. When I get on a horse and ride the kid wants to come over and run the pony around my ring. They interrupt my riding as soon as they see me on a horse. I have helped the daughter learn to ride and been very kind to her. But now I am really having an issues with this fenceline.
I have four strand tape electric up now. There is no horse on my side, just their side. I want to replace that with privacy fence. But I don't want their pony to chew it. In our county the law says over 5 acres you can put a fence on the property line, which I fall under -- but they are NOT 5 acres and thus have to have a set back but not sure how much it is. Probably 10 feet. (Sussex County, DE). I doubt they will listen to me if I tell them that.
Advice please. I don't want to make them mad but I have just felt so stressed by this, I feel as though I am constantly being watched. It's been a year. the mother even confessed that the daughter broke the blind on the back window of their house because she watched out the window so much to see when I was going to the barn to get a horse out to ride.
Help!

danceronice
Jun. 11, 2010, 10:55 AM
Uh...well, regarding the fence, if you have +5 acres and want to put one up, do it. Just tell them you want a better fence. It's really not their business. If anything tell them it's to keep grass clippings out as eating them can make your horses sick.

JanWeber
Jun. 11, 2010, 11:05 AM
It sounds like you're feeling smothered by constant surveillance... Doesn't help, but they are likely watching you to see how all of this really works - daughter with pony just steps it up. Sit down with both parents if possible and say the following: "your daughter is really motivated to ride and I'm really impressed by how committed your whole family is to this. She is at the stage where she needs "real" lessons. I can give you some names - part of what she will teach your daughter is to be safe and independent on her pony because she can't depend on me being available when she wants to ride. My horse(s) also need to be able to progress in their training with my attention totally on them." Another option - maybe even better - is to steer them to Pony Club. Their daughter will learn how to ride effectively and the parents will learn how it all works...

tangledweb
Jun. 11, 2010, 11:27 AM
If you want a fence, build a fence, but it seems like you are going to have to learn the power of the word "no".

Even an 10' tall fence is not going to stop them from being able to hear when your car gets home or stop them from seeing that you are on horse. The problem is that they come through or around the current fence, not that the current fence is too easy to come through or around.

If you don't start saying "Can't talk busy" then a better fence is not going to stop them bugging you.

Rhyadawn
Jun. 11, 2010, 12:04 PM
Good fences make better neighbors. But in this case I think you just really need to put your foot down. No is NO! It is dangerous for your horse for them to be putting grass cuttings in your paddocks, and it is your property and your time being used when little Sally wants to come and ride. I'm sure they mean well, but it's still not a good situation.

ReSomething
Jun. 11, 2010, 12:36 PM
Second giving them the names of a couple of good lesson barns or Pony Club. The daughter may think of you as her friend and playmate, and you aren't. A lesson barn will have other kids she can bond with and Pony Club will have lots of equine activities.

Fence-wise put up whatever you want, but the neighbor is still responsible for mowing his property up to your joint property line regardless of fence setbacks. A v mesh fence+ hedge+galloping lane will keep out the clippings, give you some privacy and a conditioning area.

TheJenners
Jun. 11, 2010, 12:51 PM
Stop being nice. You, in the effort to be nice and neighborly, have taught them this behavior the same way people have taught their dogs to wake them up to go outside for potty in the middle of the night or early in the morning (and before anyone points it out, I mean healthy dogs, obviously). They run up when you come home and don't let you in the door, well, you have obviously taught them that this okay by ALLOWING it.

If they run over, say "hi" but keep walking. Make is obvious that THEY are not going to control what YOU are going to do on YOUR property. Seriously. Be bald if you must, "Um, hi there...yeah, I just got home from work? You know? I'm going inside, now." And then do it. If the kiddo runs over to ride while you are riding, tell her to go home. YOU are not responsible for their bruised feelings when they are behaving like ill-mannered goats.

alibi_18
Jun. 11, 2010, 12:57 PM
Stop being nice. You, in the effort to be nice and neighborly, have taught them this behavior the same way people have taught their dogs to wake them up to go outside for potty in the middle of the night or early in the morning (and before anyone points it out, I mean healthy dogs, obviously). They run up when you come home and don't let you in the door, well, you have obviously taught them that this okay by ALLOWING it.

If they run over, say "hi" but keep walking. Make is obvious that THEY are not going to control what YOU are going to do on YOUR property. Seriously. Be bald if you must, "Um, hi there...yeah, I just got home from work? You know? I'm going inside, now." And then do it. If the kiddo runs over to ride while you are riding, tell her to go home. YOU are not responsible for their bruised feelings when they are behaving like ill-mannered goats.

Ditto that.
You've been too nice for too long!

You can for sure provide some barn's names and trainers for the kid, or you could offer her to teach her within your schedule but you must sit first with the parents and let them know that enough is enough!

Good luck!

retreadeventer
Jun. 11, 2010, 01:15 PM
Yes, I've done the walk-away thing. I've done the "I'm busy later" speech. But they just come back the next day.
The mowing thing is actually being done on property that is not theirs, either -- it's another neighbors, who never mows it and does not care. I don't usually mow it, I usually kill the weeds near my fence with roundup so I don't have to go in there, as there are rocks and other garbage than can wreck the mower back there -- as he did last night, rocking his mower on and off a big rock over there scaring the horses.
I will re-emphasize the Pony Club, lesson-thing once again (I've mentioned it many times.)
I see what you mean about the fence. Still they won't be able to see me walking from barn to house, or sitting on my deck or eating my dinner, and that in itself will make me feel a bit better, I think.
My ulcer in the last two months or so has really been bothering me and my weight has gone up, and my attitude is miserable -- I really think this privacy thing is the root of this stress I'm feeling.
For instance, as soon as the coast was clear this morning I did some work along that side of the house that has been waiting until they weren't around, and I felt free to walk around my own property - felt strange.
Thank you again. I think I need to reinforce that No thing, I guess.

TheJenners
Jun. 11, 2010, 01:25 PM
Actually, after reading this last post...maybe you should discuss an anti-anxiety med with your doctor? I couldn't imagine someone being so anxious that the apparently ever-constant ulcer gets worse and you gain weight and don't feel free to do ANYTHING around your own home where you might be visible, and laying it at the feet of the neighbors.

LauraKY
Jun. 11, 2010, 02:07 PM
Having lived in a townhouse for 27 years before moving to my farm, you need to toughen up. You want to talk about no privacy. I know that sounds harsh, but it really sounds like it's your problem, not theirs.

When I was a kid, our next door neighbor sounded much like you, although she used to peak out the blinds at us constantly. When we realized we were tormenting her, we upped the ante.

I would mention the grass clippings, but I don't really understand. First you say you couldn't turn your horse out because he was mowing...then you said you don't have a horse on your side. Is this the same pasture/paddock? Is it really a problem?

My current neighbor, the most wonderful neighbor ever, loves to watch us. With binoculars. And freely admits it. Do I care? No, not at all. He keeps an eye on our property for us, helps us with all kinds of work. I think it's human nature to be nosy (sp?). As far as the child, she sounds like she's just enthralled with horses.

I almost never tell someone they should seek psychological advice, but in this case, you may well benefit from it. It's either that, continue on as you have or buy an island. With restricted airspace.

Now, as far as the kid and the pony using your facilities, or even the kid hanging around while you're riding, I would just tell them your new liability insurance does not permit it. Period. Don't explain any further, don't get dragged into a discussion. Just the way it is.

And learn to say no. No is a complete sentence. Sorry, it's not convenient works very well too.

msj
Jun. 11, 2010, 02:28 PM
I'm glad to see LauraKY mentioned liability policy. IF you don't have a liability policy, that child shouldn't be riding on your property in the first place. A homeowner's or Umbrella policy will not cover you if that child gets hurt riding on your property. Even if the parents wouldn't dream of suing you if the child did get hurt while riding, you can bet your bottom dollar that their medical insurance company sure would to recover any cost to them.

I've got an indoor arena and since I don't ride anymore I no longer allow anyone to come and use the indoor as I didn't want to have to pay the liability policy just for someone else to enjoy themself. I got a new neighbor and last fall she asked me about using the arena. I told her she would have to pay the entire liability policy ($500) and pay an additional $10/trip up to a maximum of $100/month. With that information in hand, I took her over to another indoor a little further away but not really that far where I knew she could truck in and probably just pay the per day fee and not the entire liability policy. She did that for about a month and asked me again to find out the cost of the policy. I didn't ask why she didn't want to use the other indoor. She would have had to truck over to either my barn or the other one. For whatever her reason, she chose to pay the entire liability and daily fee and use my ring.

Go Fish
Jun. 11, 2010, 02:44 PM
I think they like you...:lol:

When we moved to our farm, we had a horse-crazy tween bug us to death. Having been horse-crazy myself from an early age, I tried to be sympathetic. But I'm not a kid person to begin with and was fast losing my patience. I was also fearful that she'd show up on the property when I wasn't around and get into trouble. (Give 'em an inch, they take a mile.)

What solved the problem was to give her a specific time and day that she could come over. She was allowed to stay one hour. I gave her some simple chores to do so she'd stay out of my hair. Perhaps you can allow the kid to ride one day a week at a specific time. Otherwise, off limits.

As far as watching you? Yeah, a little creepy. But I kinda like the idea that my neighbors are keeping an eye on things. We're gone from the property a lot. It's not like I'm walking around the back yard naked.

I'd rather put up with a little crap instead of feuding with my neighbors. THAT can make your life a living hell. Ask me how I know...

TheJenners
Jun. 11, 2010, 04:41 PM
Mkay, how'd you know?? ;)

Long Spot
Jun. 11, 2010, 04:56 PM
Tell them your Uncle Bart is coming to stay with you for a while to get back on his feet, and that you apologize in advance for his odd behavior. He's been known to not understand boundries or what other people consider to be touchy feely behavior.:no:

You aren't sure how long it will be, since it depends on how his meetings go with his parole officer, but that it shouldn't be more than a year since everyone is fairly certain he's been pretty much rehabilitated by paying his debt to society.:yes:

I am, of course, kidding. But it would be fun, wouldn't it?

jazzrider
Jun. 11, 2010, 05:12 PM
I remember on a thread long ago, someone saying that they don't allow kids on their property without an accompanying parent. I think that's a great policy, because you know the parent isn't going to want to come that often just to stand around. It's a way to be kind, but have limits. The house at the end of our driveway has been for sale for almost two years, with hardly a drive by, but suddenly this spring they're getting traffic. Folks with children, interested in moving to our child free little lane of 5 horse farms (though that house just has land, no horse facilities). I plan to utilize that policy -- though there is some merit to using the liability insurance excuse. :yes: Perhaps you could say because of the risks involved, that you hadn't considered before, and your lack of liability insurance, the little girl can only come over if she's fully supervised by one of her parents?

LauraKY
Jun. 11, 2010, 05:22 PM
All you really have to say is "my insurance agent said that I'm not covered if ______." Covers a whole lot of situations. They can't argue with your insurance agent.

And we don't allow children without an accompanying adult, and adult must be on the ground and directly supervising the child.

Calamber
Jun. 11, 2010, 05:29 PM
No accompanying adult, then you will get all of them. Just say no, the liability is too much. Really no need to site your insurance company. It really is too much. You are not a lesson facilty or a camp, period.

fivehorses
Jun. 11, 2010, 06:52 PM
I would just come out and tell them.

I would say I really like my privacy, and enjoy you folks as neighbors, but I am putting up a fence and some trees to give me the privacy I would like.

So, in the future, if you want to come over, please give me a call to see if its a good time. I would appreciate that.

Some people do not understand boundaries, since they have none. So they just don't get it.

You don't have to be nasty, just explain.
Good luck. Just do it, what is the worse that can happen? Maybe I shouldn't ask that, I am sure some on here can come up with some doozies.

coloredhorse
Jun. 11, 2010, 07:13 PM
It sounds to me like you haven't clearly stated what you want from your neighbors. Lots of hints and talking to others hoping the word will get passed along. From your description, it sounds like these folk like you, but just are tending a bit toward the Mrs. Cravitz end of the nosey scale. :lol:

You need to tell them, very clearly and firmly, that you like them, but you also are a private person and like to feel alone on your property. You'd love to visit with them and their daughter once a week (or insert time period that suits you), but you need them to CALL FIRST. Tell them, too, that it makes you uncomfortable that it seems like they are watching you ... and put up that fence, line of tall shrubs, or whatever suits you to block their sight lines.

If they break the rules you have set, SEND THEM HOME. No hints. No subtlety. Some people just honestly don't get hints. "This is a bad time. Please go home now; give me a call this evening and we can set up a convenient time for a visit."

Rinse, repeat. As often as needed.

And yes, you can do this, and be happy with your life on your property, and still be a "good neighbor." Really.

spurgirl
Jun. 11, 2010, 07:20 PM
As others have said, You really need to be FIRM with these neighbors.

I've had a few experiences with a new "neighbor" this week. Seems the couple next door (across from my pond/paddocks with a wooded buffer) have another couple living with them. Monday night, youngish guy comes to the door. Their Boxer has run off, headed this way...Told him I'd call if I saw her, his wife was really mad he had her off leash. He had no sooner left than I heard her barking. She was up in one of the three hill turnouts, trying to get my mare to 'play' with her. I called to the dog, she took off for like a shot. The guy was out on the main road, and the dog ran right through the woods to his car!!

When I called him immediately, he relayed that he had just caught her. I nicely told him I was glad he found her, and to be sure to keep her on leash, as she might come here again, and be hurt or worse, if she tried to play with my gelding (dog hater). He thanked me, and that was it.

Fast forward, two nights later...Putting the horses in, as a storm is coming. This time, guy comes on foot through the woods-sorta dodging/running around the big pines on the property line...Had a white tee shirt on, and totally spooked my gelding (I hadn't seen him yet)-who almost ran over me, as I was turning him around through the gate. I ALMOST got trampled:mad:. I didn't see the loose dog this time, but the gloves were off. He started to apologize-let her off leash "just for a second" and this is what I said...

"LOOK, Horses are dangerous. You almost got me severely injured just now. Your dog is OBVIOUSLY NOT trained off leash. DON'T LET HER LOOSE AGAIN. If she happens to come into this horses' paddock, HE WILL TRY TO KILL HER. I will NOT be responsible if your dog's brains get kicked out of her head, and it's NOT something I want to see ever again. YOU MUST CONTAIN YOUR DOG, UNDERSTAND???"

(Saw a dog killed by a head kick-not by my horse. Not good:no:)

He slunk off like a dog with its' tail between his legs. Hope I got the point across......:mad:

cssutton
Jun. 11, 2010, 09:58 PM
I have never read so much idiotic crap.

If you don' like neighbors, go buy a large farm, build your house right in the middle of it.

As for grass clippings. I never heard such BS. All of us who have a reasonable amount of pasture bush hog with livestock in the pasture. It does not hurt them.

Because they are going to eat the green stuff.

The only way it could hurt them is if it is thick enough to mold.

I doubt that it is.

My vote is with the poster that advised you to take your meds.

People who ride horses should be more hospitable. You might want to ride your horse out of the ring someday, although I doubt it. Anyone that up tight probably would freak out if they had to cross a creek.

I am dismayed that real horse people would write the "don't you dare come on my property" crap that I see here.

A pox on all of you.

CSSJR

Protect your privacy. Replace Google with IXQUICK at www.ixquick.com.


If we do not wish to lose our freedom, we must learn to tolerate our
neighbor's right to freedom even though he might express that freedom
in a manner we consider to be eccentric.

JanM
Jun. 11, 2010, 10:00 PM
About two and a half years ago the PITA next door neighbor who minds everyone else's business came outside to find out where the lightning strike hit--it was my house and the attic was on fire. And mrs. PITA always noticed if something was wrong with someone-PITA people who call things to your attention are useful. BUT people who are relying on you to supervise and entertain their children are an accident waiting to happen, and people who dump their kids like this are the first to sue your a$$ off if little Suzie gets a boo-boo, and they will definitely bankrupt you defending the case. Do you have signed liability waivers from both parents? And does your insurance agency know about the neighbors around your horses and on your property? You also need to follow the liability laws in your state about protecting yourself and your property. And the lawnmower wizard is trespassing on the neighbor's land when he mows for them-you might mention to the owner about their legal liability when the fool hits a rock and a fragment hits your or a horse, or when he damages his mower on the neighbor's property and expects someone else to pay for it. I sympathize with your sense of being stalked by them, and though I feel sorry for the kid you aren't a babysitter and should be able to enjoy your property that you have worked so hard for.

Chall
Jun. 11, 2010, 10:19 PM
Add a tree line or fast growing hedge if you feel set upon. It's beautiful for both neighbors, provides shade, is not offensive and adds privacy at several height levels. Just make sure it meets your needs - nothing toxic for horses (bark leaves or fruit) and doesn't require raking up if you don't like that.

MelantheLLC
Jun. 11, 2010, 10:25 PM
A pox on all of you.


Now that's hospitable...

coloredhorse
Jun. 12, 2010, 08:19 AM
cssutton, go take your meds!!! :lol: (Or perhaps a nice glass of Merlot will suffice.)

Seriously, I don't see anything in the OP that indicates she is afraid to take her horses out of the ring or that she hates her neighbors.

I am also a very private person. I enjoy time alone at home. I adore my neighbors, my friends, my extended family ... but I do not want them popping in constantly. The OP talks about the neighbors coming over frequently just as she is returning home from work (or wherever) accosting her (albeit in an apparently friendly manner) before she can even go to the bathroom. The are coming over when they see her sitting on her porch, going out to her barn ... pretty much any time they see her outside. I can see how this would be frustrating.

I had to very firmly and clearly explain my preferences to one of my lovely neighbors once upon a time. I don't like pop-ins. A wave, hi and 10-second howyadoin' chat over the fence are fine. Coming onto my property all the damn time and interrupting me while I am working (much of my paying work is done from home) or tending to necessary tasks ... or just enjoying a glass of sweet tea by myself at my patio table ... is just not acceptable to me. If it's a very occasional pop-in, that's OK. If it's constant, that is not OK.

Perhaps you love pop-ins. Great! Hope you have the pop-inningest neighbors ever! I don't. The OP doesn't. People who like their privacy are within their rights to insist that others respect their rights to dictate who comes on their property when.

FWIW, I am the very soul of hospitality, a good ol' southern country girl, right down to the ground. And my preferences have nothing to do with having my horses at home; I was exactly the same in suburbia.

(Now I was confused by the whole mowing thing mentioned, so I am ignoring that and focusing on what is clearly the base issue: constant, uninvited neighbor visits.)

CatOnLap
Jun. 12, 2010, 09:43 AM
I remember on a thread long ago, someone saying that they don't allow kids on their property without an accompanying parent.
It was a thread very much like this one and it was me who told my very sweet neighbours- they really were nice people, but their kids were all horse crazy and were coming over quite a bit, and you can have too much even of nice kids and people.

They never came over again after I visited their parents personally, explained the liability and supervision problems and told them the kids were welcome as long as the parents accompanied them to supervise them.

I had to trot out my policy again this week! 3 of my 6 immediate neighbours have sold their places in the last month- all 3 new neighbours have multiple kids under 10. And the one neighbour came over to introduce herself and ask if I gave children's riding lessons...

uh, no.

retreadeventer
Jun. 12, 2010, 09:49 AM
Thanks, Coloredhorse, that sort of hits the nail on the head.

"I am also a very private person. I enjoy time alone at home. I adore my neighbors, my friends, my extended family ... but I do not want them popping in constantly. The OP talks about the neighbors coming over frequently just as she is returning home from work (or wherever) accosting her (albeit in an apparently friendly manner) before she can even go to the bathroom. The are coming over when they see her sitting on her porch, going out to her barn ... pretty much any time they see her outside. I can see how this would be frustrating."

To suggest that I am the rude one, I am sick, I need counseling or meds, is honestly, ludicrous and WELL beyond what the COTH board here is all about. We're horse people here. Obviously I ride outside. You think I should chill and let the neighbors run wild on my land. OK. Maybe they do that where you live. And you like it. Good for you. I prefer, like Coloredhorse, to have it a little more like my land and a little less like a community center.

Thanks for the good constructive suggestions. I have rethought the fence idea since one of my good friends wasn't sure that would have the intended effect. I am still considering it as an option but I am going to give the situation one more week. I am going to try talking once again and try to find different words that might sink in. I don't like the constant watching. To let you know how much these people think they can come over here, I had a horse that weaved a bit at the gate, and I was a little late with feeding as I was working on the computer. WORKING. The dogs go crazy. I am in the middle of a conference for work that required me to be on the phone and online at the same time, and it was short, I was going to be done in a minute, but here is my neighbor walking through the back yard with a lariat in his hand, he's going to ROPE the horse that is weaving because he thinks it's loose or something. And he's swinging the rope at the ground, practicing the loops in my backyard as he is walking - my dogs are in the house and boy do they want to get out and eat him up. And I am on the phone to WORK. I felt out of control at that moment, completely and utterly at the mercy of these well meaning but irritating people who made me look like an idiot to my employer. They could clearly hear the dogs in the background. I had to control the dogs, finish my conference, and then go out and stop the well meaning but really f***g irritating neighbor from wandering over my land looking for something to "rope".

CatOnLap
Jun. 12, 2010, 10:08 AM
its hard when its the grownups. I took have a few acres surrounded by smaller lots, so I end up having 10 neighbours ( counting the kitty corner ones) around my farmette.

I have built my fences about 4-6 feet inside my property line to keep my horses from eating anything the neighbours want to plant on their land.
However, I had to stop three of my neighbours from building on, digging up, or planting on my land, which they assumed was theirs, for some reason. Or worse, dumping their garbage- lawn clippings ( old moldy ones) branches, old lumber, etc, on my property margins. Or tearing down the 10 foot blackberry hedge, entirely on my land, that contains my horses at the back of the property.

I should have lived in the south. I am getting pretty good at smiling and being nice while laying down the law about property lines. Although, on one side I finally resorted to live electric wire outside my fences to mark the property line. I think it was the big yellow signs with the lightening bolts warning of the electric fence that finally got that neighbour to stop coming into my pasture to retrieve his golf balls. He came to the door one day and asked if he could come and scour the pasture for his balls. I said I pick them on a daily basis and had given them to my BIL, who is a golfing fiend, and perhaps if he didn't want to lose them, he should shoot in the other direction. He laughed and said the other neighbour had complained about balls in his pool!

Neighbours. They do make life interesting. The one with the binolculars who used to adore looking at me on my deck- well we built an 8 foot high solid fence on that side of the deck.

Zu Zu
Jun. 12, 2010, 10:16 AM
Jingles for the OP during this uncomfortable struggle ~ so sorry you are dealing with these neighbors.

Couture TB
Jun. 12, 2010, 10:31 AM
Sorry no one is allowed on our property unless they are clients. My answer to anyone who shows up because there are pretty ponies is that we give riding lessons, but this is a private facility and we do not allow unscheduled visitors due to time constraints and liability issues.

I've also been known to tell people the whole property is behind a fence for safety. Safety for people who do not know anything about horses from getting hurt, and from people who do not know anything about horses hurting the horses by feeding them something that they shouldn't have.

If niceness does not work I have also looked at people and asked how they would like it if every time they did a barbecue or something I walked over and fixed myself a plate or went in their house to join them for dinner : their response is it would be rude! And I tell them they are doing the same thing to me

Altitude Rider
Jun. 12, 2010, 11:19 AM
Coloredhorse summed it up perfectly and the OP is not crazy by any means!

I'm in a similar situation, though my neighbors are much more respectful of my privacy but they are new to horses (and now have four). They are super nice people and keep an eye on my property since I live alone but they still want to come over and ask questions a bunch and borrow stuff. It's worked well for me to just wave, say Hi and keep walking or just not look over there. I had the place to myself for over a year but they are taking over the grandmother's farm. Really there's only a small gap where I feel "exposed" but I'm adapting.

the OP's story helped me realize my neighbors aren't as pesky as I think they are sometimes and it is also a good reminder that they can't bring their horses or kids onto my land due to liability. And usually I don't like to be interrupted while I'm in the middle of schooling either...you're finally getting what you want from the horse and Billy Joe Bob & company are all leaning over the fence trying to get your attention.

good luck and sorry you have to deal with that...not fun though I am sure they will understand (eventually). I don't think the fence is a bad idea, it does make a statement...I only have 3-board and I keep wondering what kind of shrubs, trees or something I can put there but it's my pasture so I don't have a lot of options.

terasa
Jun. 12, 2010, 12:28 PM
We're actually thinking of moving because of the neighbours. Ridiculous, I know, but we both like our privacy and hate being watched. We live in a neighbourhood of mostly elderly folks who seem to have all the time in the world and forget we are both busy working people.
We put up a large privacy fence, but they've resorted to second floor binoculars:lol: It's nice that we are apparently so fascinating.
I feel for the OP. One of my fondest wishes right now would be able to get up in the morning in my PJ's and go sit on the back porch with a nice cup of coffee. As it is, you've got to expect surveillence or over the fence company so must dress and schedule appropriately. I love being outdoors, and it would be amazing to be able to treat the property like our home, but to me it feels sort of like a public park.
Agreed though, it's fabulous that they also keep an eye on the horses, and the last time I fell off, I would have had immediate assistance if required!:lol:

kinnip
Jun. 12, 2010, 05:12 PM
Put 'em to work or charge 'em money, or both. If they want to be so darned helpful, pile up the work for them. Fences always need mending, and I'm sure your yard could use some mowing too. If little girl wants to ride her pony at your place, she can pay for lessons or an arena fee. I imagine that would put an end to the party. It's amazing how quickly people change their 'helpful' attitude when they're continually asked to do things.
As for me, I got myself about 20 free ranging turkeys. Mostly, they range wherever I am. I went from having daily pop-ins to utter solitude in the time it took them to reach the 40 lb mark. I like my neighbors; I just don't like visitors or children, neither do my toms.

SmokenMirrors
Jun. 12, 2010, 05:31 PM
WOW! Guess I need to take my meds, smile to the neighbors, invite them over for a bit of bbq, shoot the shit on the porch, tell their kids they can feed my horses any time they want, walk in my yard, knock on my door in the wee hours of the morning so they can "ride the horsey", etc..I don't think so!!

I moved out in the country to be left alone. To enjoy my horses and go riding without the risk of bumping into someone every few feet or have someone watch me or take up my time. As what someone else said, if I want to get up at the butt crack of dawn, brew a good cup of coffee, meander out to the front porch, and sit my butt on a porch swing and enjoy that cup of coffee, that should be my prerogative. Just because I have horses and ride I need to be polite and nice to everyone I see? That wasn't in the handbook I had.

And these are the OP's horses, if she doesn't want grass clippings given to her horses, that is HER business. Not yours, not mine, no one else, and certainly not the neighbor who continues to ignore her about it. Are you or him going to pay her vet bills should something happen? No. Can any of us say if her horse is going to one day, for whatever reason, colic or worse? No we can't. So to sit there and say that she should let her neighbor feed grass clippings and get over it is a bit much. Let YOUR neighbors feed what they want to your horses, but don't tell others what to do or how to govern our own horses. And I don't like my husband giving my 4 horses grass clippings, so he listens and doesn't. I don't HAVE to have a reason why...I said no. Should be enough.

And while were on the subject of hospitable...how about people who drive in my neighborhood be made to be hospitable when the come screaming up the gravel road toward me!! Or slow down because after all, I am a neighbor and I wave and I try to be polite when I ride. That goes both ways. Us horse people need to be more hospitable...yea, when monkeys fly out my tuckuss too.....

Retreadeventer, I have crappy neighbors as well across the street and you would be surprised how many really do sympathize with you. In the 6 years I have lived in the "hospitable" south I have had my show Percheron mare shot in the face with a pellet, fire works going off over our farm, shots fired around our farm and home, loud music till 1 or 2 am, beer cans and bottles thrown on our easement and in our pasture, his kids and their cousins trying to get into my pasture to pet the horses, trying to feed them weeds and candy, animal control called on us, complaints about the "horse smell", harassed and threatened by the neighbor across the street on his 4 wheeler while riding and driving one of the draft horses, all of this from him. The other neighbors on our road are nice and while we all have exchanged phone numbers, we leave each other alone unless it is for an emergency. So stick to your guns and build your fence to keep your neighbors out or move someplace you can find your serenity.

sadlmakr
Jun. 12, 2010, 05:54 PM
I can sympathize with the problems you are having.
Children can drive you nuts if you have animals. We had 2 ponies, a Welsh /Thoroughbred, a Quarter Horse and an Arabian.
Good fences make good neighbors.
Good high fences with no knot holes for them to peer through.
I told people I could not have children on the property as our Liability Insurance did not cover them if they were there unvited.
Well they WERE there uninvited when I was gone into town. They threw rocks at my horses and ponies to make them run.
I wondered why they were getting so spooky.
They tormented my dogs too.
I finally tried talking to the parents and got no where.
We became prisoners in our own home, not daring to go outside as we were watched like FBI undercover agents would do.
You will have to tell them in a stern way like you mean it, that you need to have your privacy.
Build the fences. Six foot high and full length of the property line.
As for the other guy with the mower it might be a good place to put another six foot high board fence with no knot holes too.
On my farm I wanted six foot high chain link fence with hot wire around the top. The I wanted 2 Rotties to guard my other dogs from the rock throwing children.
I know exactly what you are feeing and you can not be nice about it.
I know you don't want to make enemies of your neighbors but you have to draw the line somewhere and sometime. If it is giving you that much anxiety you need to do this sooner than later.
A good fence closes out a lot of troubles.
Then also you might tell them you are an ordained minister and you would love to have their children in your Bible classes. And even invite the parents too.
They might become scarce after that.
JMHO
sadlmakr

CatOnLap
Jun. 13, 2010, 11:33 AM
wow second floor binoculars!

Not long ago in this neck of the woods, a middle aged guy who lives on 5 acres, where the nearest neighbour is more than 500 feet away, was arrested and charged for indecent exposure while sitting naked in his own living room. His elderly nosey biddy neighbours were using a telescope to view him inside his own house and objected to him walking around in the buff, if you can believe it.

He did get his gharges dismissed, but that was after he spent several thousands on lawyers. His counter suit for invasion of privacy was also dismissed. Neighbours can be dangerous to your legal health!

I like the bible class idea :teehee

AnotherRound
Jun. 13, 2010, 05:53 PM
Wow. Wouldn't it be fun to build a double high fence just in the sight line of those second floor neighbors with binoculars! About 20 feet wide and 20 feet tall. If they ever ask, tell them its an outside movie screen for "late night parties".Don't actually say the word "pornos" but that's what they should infer. That they're on the wrong side of and will never see. heh heh heh.

retreadeventer
Jun. 13, 2010, 06:18 PM
Actually, after reading this last post...maybe you should discuss an anti-anxiety med with your doctor? I couldn't imagine someone being so anxious that the apparently ever-constant ulcer gets worse and you gain weight and don't feel free to do ANYTHING around your own home where you might be visible, and laying it at the feet of the neighbors.

You must not have a preliminary event horse in your barn getting ready for the season! Ha Ha Ha! There's nothing wrong with my anxiety. It's HIGH. Perhaps I should simply become a drunk? That would certainly lower my anxiety, eh? Ha ha ha. I love this stuff. LMAO....

stryder
Jun. 13, 2010, 07:03 PM
I'm sure you're frustrated with all this. I would find it tiring and frustrating to feel hounded by well-meaning people.

When I was a kid, a bachelor bought the lot next door, built a fascinating house and moved in. He'd been in the navy, and been all over the world, we heard from our parents.

We couldn't wait to meet him and hear his stories.

He installed a flagpole, and each neighbor within sight of his house soon received a letter from him, with explanations for the various flags that would fly.

One for when he was away on a trip, and could we keep an eye on his house. One for when cocktails would be served, beginning at a certain time on the next Saturday afternoon, and adults were welcome to pop over. One for when the kids were welcome to come over and play. One for when he was .... ahem... entertaining and .... and so on.

We figured it out. He was seen as a bit eccentric and yet, on the afternoons we were welcome, we were treated with lemonade or hot chocolate, snacks and wonderful stories. No one ever bothered him.

Perhaps there's some sort of system you could develop and use, that would let them know when you're open to having kids over, without having to endure a constant barrage of pestering on a daily basis. You want to be a good neighbor, and want them to feel warmly toward you. Good neighbors are so much better than PITA neighbors that throw clods, chase your horses, or come uninvited into your pastures. But that does require some sort of relationship, and them knowing about horses is much better than not.

Good luck.

vacation1
Jun. 13, 2010, 07:50 PM
To suggest that I am the rude one, I am sick, I need counseling or meds, is honestly, ludicrous and WELL beyond what the COTH board here is all about. We're horse people here. Obviously I ride outside. You think I should chill and let the neighbors run wild on my land. OK. Maybe they do that where you live. And you like it. Good for you. I prefer, like Coloredhorse, to have it a little more like my and and a little less like a community center.

I can see how the tone of some responses might have stung, but your OP was somewhat confusing - a lot of emphasis on them watching you, but not really clear that they were actually coming onto your property. The latest example - the guy coming over to rope a horse! - makes it more understandable. Before, it sounded like you were just uncomfortable with them spying on you from their property.

msj
Jun. 13, 2010, 07:53 PM
You must not have a preliminary event horse in your barn getting ready for the season! Ha Ha Ha! There's nothing wrong with my anxiety. It's HIGH. Perhaps I should simply become a drunk? That would certainly lower my anxiety, eh? Ha ha ha. I love this stuff. LMAO....

A little off topic but I hope you'll bring your prelim horse up to Stuart Horse Trials, a Gold Cup event, in Victor NY this year. If you do plan on it, or for Genesee Valley HT or Genesee Valley Riding and Driving Club HT, please PM me to let me know. I used to work all of them as either Dressage warm-up or X-C warm-up preferably because the # on the pinney was big enough to read easily. Now I just go and spectate. :) :) :)

daisyduke
Jun. 13, 2010, 08:16 PM
I don't believe you need meds or therapy because you find your neighbors intrusive. Nor do I think moving out in the middle of no where will solve your problem. I live on a quarter section and I have people popping by all the time. I am also a person who loves being with my horses and animals, gardening and working. I just do not have time to be hospitable to everyone who feels the need to drop by. I'm not anti-social and would like to entertain when I choose, not when people need entertaining. I have no advice for you, as I am in the same situation. I considered installing gates onto my property, but I'm sure people would just walk in anyways. I do however have privacy as my property is surrounded by 45 ft. spruce and poplar trees. You're not crazy, obviously just adored!

She's Pure Gold
Jun. 13, 2010, 09:00 PM
No more advice for the OP, I think some good advice has been given. Just saying I can sympathise with you, that would drive me nuts, too! (And my fiance always thinks I'm crazy when I say my dream farm is 10-15 acres surrounded by trees out of sight and earshot of my closest neighbors!!)

retreadeventer
Jun. 18, 2010, 05:23 PM
Sad update.
The next door neighbor's pony laid down on her belly for two days after she took it to a playday, and is walking so stiffly and in such pain it makes me sick. Either foundering or severely bruised feet. Sigh. I guess they think she's being stubborn, that is what I heard. Can't wait to see the kid come over here wanting to ride, she's gonna get the NO speech. I just haven't decided what to say, but no will be in there.

tangledweb
Jun. 18, 2010, 05:48 PM
Sad update.
The next door neighbor's pony laid down on her belly for two days after she took it to a playday,

I don't know what a playday is exactly, but are you familiar with azoturia/tying-up symptoms? It is a not unlikely consequence of taking a pony and riding it much harder than a normal day.

Sansena
Jun. 18, 2010, 05:49 PM
Are they still invading your property now? I'd take the opportunity upon the next uninvited visit to lay into them about the pony.. then tell them THAT is a prime example of why you want nothing more to do with the neighbors.

(Okay.. probably not the most productive way to address this, but this update puts a hair across my ass...)

TheJenners
Jun. 18, 2010, 05:49 PM
You must not have a preliminary event horse in your barn getting ready for the season! Ha Ha Ha! There's nothing wrong with my anxiety. It's HIGH. Perhaps I should simply become a drunk? That would certainly lower my anxiety, eh? Ha ha ha. I love this stuff. LMAO....
Not at the moment, no, but I have in the past...never had an ulcer. I understand some people are more prone to anxiety and ulcers (just like horses), but shouldn't a sport you enjoy be...enjoyable?

msj
Jun. 18, 2010, 05:53 PM
Sad update.
The next door neighbor's pony laid down on her belly for two days after she took it to a playday, and is walking so stiffly and in such pain it makes me sick. Either foundering or severely bruised feet. Sigh. I guess they think she's being stubborn, that is what I heard. Can't wait to see the kid come over here wanting to ride, she's gonna get the NO speech. I just haven't decided what to say, but no will be in there.

Did you try calling them about the pony and suggesting if it is founder that a vet is needed ASAP, or at best a farrier to help with bruised feet?

I had to call a neighbor when her horse was lying down more than usual and was walking very stiff when it did get up one day. It was a mild founder and, fortunately, I caught it before it got worse. When I saw it, I immediately emailed her as calling to the house was worthless as no one ever checked messages. She was in town and came home and immediately called the vet.

I guess you call me a nosy neighbor as I can see the one neighbor's horses, but I'd rather consider myself a concerned neighbor since when I look out to check on my horses, I also look over at the neighbor's horses as well and make sure nothing out of the ordinary is going on.

Ghazzu
Jun. 18, 2010, 06:23 PM
Oh for pete's sake, get a grip.

I could be sympathetic about your neighbors' pestering you, but to take it out on their pony is inexcusable.
March yourself over there, act bitchy if you want so as to discourage future contact, but if you think that animal has medical issues, chew them out about getting a veterinary opinion.

Otherwise they're going to be pestering you for the name of somebody with a backhoe.