Dear Know-it-all! [Archive] - Chronicle Forums

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 24, 2005, 09:18 AM

Well then Tackpud, if your stallion (is this the blind three legged one?) cleared the 8' oxer with 2' to spare, maybe you should get him some viagra. MY stallion can knock down a 6" cavaletti if there is a mare around. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif Of course, even though he's blind, he only likes Chestnut mares with Flaxen manes and tails.
When I last took him to a GM clinic though, he did like a nice Bay mare there but she was jumping 10' so would't pay a lowly horse any mind.

We must have talked to the same animal communicator that you did Raff. He said that all the horses at the GM clinic were horribly abused, and I believe it! I mean just LOOK at those horrible riders!!!! But again that's just MY opinion and I am right 110% of the time. I am of course the one who was singled out at that clinic for my perfect form and excellent training abilities (after they removed all the chestnut and that darn bay mare from the facility of course)!

Tackpud

Sep. 24, 2005, 06:42 PM

Why doesn't anyone else want to play with us? We are obviously the most knowledgeable people on this board and they should bow down to our superiority. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

mcm7780

Sep. 24, 2005, 06:57 PM

Woooohooo!!!! Another serious thread!!! Smegma coolers for everyone!!!

So, I took my 123hh Gypsy Vanner/fillygelding to a dressage show and didn't place. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif I don't know why! I mean, he did the Grand Prix test perfectly even though I rode in a western saddle with a hackmore. What should I do?!

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 24, 2005, 07:28 PM

Dear mcm7780,

Thanks so much for writing Dear Know-it-all. In your situation I can only speculate that you didn't place because your show shirt wasn't sparkly enough or your saddle didn't sport enough silver. I am sure, with your choice of bridles, that your impressive fillygelding was beautifully collected thus the only possible reason for your lack of placement could be your wardrobe. Best of luck at your next show and may I suggest a cow print saddle pad this time to compliment your horse's coloration.

Sincerely,

Dear Know-it-all

jetsmom

Sep. 24, 2005, 07:30 PM

Or you could just ride like a handicapped primate on Qualudes....

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 24, 2005, 07:37 PM

Qualudes? Someone say Qualudes????? I would NEVER give my primate qualudes! What an abusive primate owner you are jetsmom. And how politically incorrect to mention his handicap!

martysgirl

Sep. 24, 2005, 07:39 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by horsesourcetexas:
Well then Tackpud, if your stallion (is this the blind three legged one?) cleared the 8' oxer with 2' to spare, maybe you should get him some viagra. MY stallion can knock down a 6" cavaletti if there is a mare around. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You may consider lowering that jump if he's on Viagra....wouldn't want him to injure that thing! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Kikki

Sep. 24, 2005, 08:36 PM

Well, while we are on the subject of stallions, I had a horse that's father was a stallion. Will someone please critique him for me? Now, these pictures were taken 5 years ago and he was not in the best mood, and it was cold, and I had the sniffles so I wasn't riding my best, and the horse died a year ago, but I really really do want to know what y'all think. I value and respect your oppinions, especially since you have that fabulous stallion you were just describing.

OOOH, and speaking of dressage fashion, I need to know what new sparkly things I need to buy for WEF this year. I just think my hunter looks SO boring in plain ole tack. I thought I would get a sequin coat to wear. Maybe cover my huge Mikmar in swavorski crystals? I think it would be GREAT to get my 25 hand WB a nose ring - DIAMONDS of course. BTW, he needs a name. Got any ideas?

I did do a search on all of this, but just couldn't find what I was looking for, so I thought I'd just post it here. I didn't want to start another topic and all, so I thought I would just tack it on here. I don't want to hijack though.

raff

Sep. 24, 2005, 09:32 PM

MCM,oh my dear,did your saddle have a tree in it,hmmn,yes I think it did now, isnt that so dear http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/no.gif
You must only show where judges give lots and lots of tens,and it doesnt matter at all what sort of bridle you use,there should be no weight in the reins anyhow,those hands of yours should be holding 2 tiny precious golden mystical faeries that you may not crush,got that?
Please listen to deary,(Dear Knowitall to you),with whom I am arranging a clinic at which I personally will be demonstrating tongue to boot cleaning technique in hand before deary shows you what a 10 looks like.
HI DEARY its me ,hi yoohoo hi!

Justina

Sep. 24, 2005, 10:30 PM

Finally, a fun thread....I gave up on those others long ago, just got totally lost...

Now, for that three legged stallion--but of course he simply must be bred, especially if the missing leg & the blindness are genetic...in a few years you can start a whole new registry.

As for the trailer question--if it were me I'd put the rescues in the trailer & the Minis would drive the Miata. Which reminds me, would y'all like to see a photo of my Grand Prix dressage Minis? They're a matched pair that I call "Roller" and "Blade"...

Oh, yes, for anyone that has shown somewhere recently and hasn't done well, don't you know you're supposed to sleep with the judge in order to win?? If you did, & still didn't win, well just a small hint....you must not have done it right.

Oh, & that reminds me....thank you to Jetsmom for sending the photo of that rather unique halloween costume. Good one! (Okay, so I lost track of the thread that one came from! Don't mean to go off topic here...) http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Galloway

Sep. 25, 2005, 05:15 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by pony4me:
Maybe we all just need to go back to the FEMA thread and keep posting until it gets to 100 pages. Then maybe the moderators will close it? And then we will have space for another fun spoof thread. Meanwhile, I will whip up a smegma cooler, sit back and take it all in. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

SMEGMA COOLER!!!!|| http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

I don't know... I just don't know, I picture something thick and black with ice-cubes,
kinda like a reverse white russian.

Is a Gypsy Vanner required, or will any common mundane equine suffice?

(going to brush my teeth now.)

JustJump

Sep. 25, 2005, 05:30 AM

<< I had a horse that's father was a stallion. Will someone please critique him for me? Now, these pictures were taken 5 years ago and he was not in the best mood, and it was cold, and I had the sniffles so I wasn't riding my best, and the horse died a year ago, but I really really do want to know what y'all think.>>

I'm confused http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif Are you asking for a critique of the STALLION or your horse? And don't expect me to deliver a serious critique if you didn't have time to change in to proper riding attire just because you were ill, and coming straight from the hot tub (in the Miata, top down) where you were trying to clear your sinuses...After all, you must delete at least 3/4 of any posts having to do with home made polo wraps and talk about them ALL, because we know that home made polo wraps are a contentious subject. Besides, everyone knows that RAISING the jump is what impresses those stallions and we all know WHY this is so...whether or not you decide to try poling at home.

Helen of NC

Sep. 25, 2005, 06:05 AM

So I've done a search already, 'cause I wouldn't want to ask something that's previously been asked, 'cause some might think me lazy, while others might think me stupid, while still others would think I'm just fulfilling certain evolutionary standards... but I've got a question.

My forty-seven year old maiden mare has a set of wolf teeth that would rival Vlad the Impaler's (hence her nickname, Vladina). Will this pose any threat to the foal that's due at Christmas-time? She did leave a great big dent in the vet's chest when she was bred live cover (she seemed to "get off on it," in my vet's words, although the communicator swore she was complaining about the inadequate size... of the mini-stallion's member, not the vet's).

So, any advice??? Should I have custom armor-plating made for the baby? I live near a permanent Renaissance Festival encampment, so that wouldn't be a problem.

Awaiting your reply with baited breath (I consume a lot of garlic to keep Vladina at bay).

Heineken

Sep. 25, 2005, 06:11 AM

Wait, I think my horses' dad was a stallion too...But maybe not? I just don't know, I'll have to check his papers.

More importantly, I need a NAME for my sabino 6 month old filly who is ready to go in the 3ft ring and win...so it needs to be a REALLY good name. Can you all put down your smegma coolers and help?

Smiles

Sep. 25, 2005, 06:21 AM

There is a pocket trainer in all of us, that in some BB members comes out all to often. They will remain nameless, but if you have over 10,000 posts you know who you are! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Hijack the thread don't you know it's all about them. Topic shamocket!!! Oh and who pulls a 12 horse bumper pull without their barbie battery powered jeep. You have to look good when driving down the road! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

Galloway

Sep. 25, 2005, 07:01 AM

I'll have you know that little pink jeep is very trendy. It especially looks great with the top down, so I can talk on the cell with one hand and toss carrots back to the horses with the other.
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Holly'er Than Thou

Sep. 25, 2005, 07:15 AM

Um, can someone tell me how old I was when I was a baby? And, my horse wants her own skateboard - got any drawings of ones you've used? Oh, what's the recipe (GM's favorite) for that beet pulp Jello mold?

Ok, all you gurus, bring it on, I'm ready to receive your wisdom.

JustJump

Sep. 25, 2005, 07:29 AM

<<I'm so worried. Dancer came in from the field last week with a big, huge, scrape on his leg. Now it's so swollen he can't put it down on the ground. Could it be EPSM? He just seems not to want to go forward, even when a jump is right in front of him, which usually makes it really easy to get him into a really fast run. I don't have a trailer and don't have a vet and could anyone tell me if I should skip my show tomorrow? The show is AT the barn where I used to take lessons, but the BO doesn't like me, so I was going to get my friend to ride, but she wants me to take care of her rescued abused 2yo filly that right now is living in the roundpen behind her mom's house, and is my friend a professional because she once showed in the infant rail class on someone else's horse and got in trouble and I don't want her to get in trouble again for riding my horse and she is worried about this one lady who is out to get her.>>

pony4me

Sep. 25, 2005, 07:48 AM

JustJump....don't worry, you'll be fine. You just need to sleep with the judge AND the judge's horse. In whatever order you think appropriate. Have fun at the show!

mzpeepers

Sep. 25, 2005, 07:58 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Wait, I think my horses' dad was a stallion too...But maybe not? I just don't know, I'll have to check his papers.
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Please let me know what the papers say! I've been trying to trace my gelded stallion OTTB background but I've had no luck other than being told his daddy was a stallion. Perhaps if your horse daddy was a stallion too they are related.

And on that subject, can someone please tell me if jumping my 10 months old filly, who's already showing 3rd level dressage, might ruin her training?

Sox

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:07 AM

This is great, really great!
But just thought I'd throw this in, my horse no longer has the runs since I had to feed old, not dirty or dusty, hay (ran out of new stuff).
And on another note, he's a gelding and quite possibly the son of a stallion and definately the son of a mare AND sometimes a son of a b***h (but not very often).
This is the best entertainment I've read on any board! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

Susan P

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:18 AM

Where's the king of thread thieves? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

You know I think it's started to rain in Chester County, PA and when is the best month to start blanketing a hairy horse to keep their coats from growing? Oh that doesn't work anyway.

How would you know? Uh, I know everything. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif See that's how I can just answer myself, don't need this stinking BB. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Susan P

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:25 AM

i diDN't rEAlize my StaLLion was a maRe unTil sHe hadd her fOal, iT's noT my fault. tHE person I bought him from lyed to mE. nOw I have too.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by mcm7780:
Woooohooo!!!! Another serious thread!!! Smegma coolers for everyone!!!

So, I took my 123hh Gypsy Vanner/fillygelding to a dressage show and didn't place. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif I don't know why! I mean, he did the Grand Prix test perfectly even though I rode in a western saddle with a hackmore. What should I do?! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

BeastieSlave

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:28 AM

Mwahhaha!

Dear Know It All, I think the ultimate revenge would be for us to abandon this thread and take over one of the 'problem threads'. We could totally ignore the topic that's supposed to be being discussed and carry on in the direction this thread is going.....

We need to plan carefully in order to totally flummox the regular posters on the chosen thread. It could be sooooo much fun. I think a few of our favorite posters could really benefit from being totally ignored http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Tackpud

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:45 AM

Beastie - we could take this to a PT and decide which thread we are going to hit!

I do have a very serious question that I need everyone to help me with - I sold my very favorite horse, that I swore I would never sell, but I really needed the money for my mother's hysterectomy after my 8th sister was born to go along with my 14 brothers, and now I really want to know where the horse is. The horse was 3 years old in 1967 and is a brown gelding. Can anyone help me?

Susan P

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:45 AM

Which thread did you have in mind? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

montanamanda

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:51 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by jetsmom:
Were you thinking they were threads for people with Attention Deficit Disorder?

Since I am on the subject of handicaps

As a person who has ADD running rampant in my family. All 4 siblings have kids diagnosed with this as my son has been, as I have been. No, none of us take "meds" for it, but none of us think of ourselves as handicapped either. I think this is a pretty insulting thing to keep bringing up all the time. Not the fact that you seem to get a big funny kick out of it but the fact that you seem to think it is a handicap. We all have happy prosperous lives. Not a one off us get to park in the handicapped parking either.

mzpeepers

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:54 AM

I don't know about you but I personally don't think that hyjacking threads is cool at all.
Only because I ask questions that have absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand doesn't mean YOU can come in on my thread and take it away from me!!!

I mean, come on!!!

And while we are at it, can someone please tell me...my mare is displaying aggressive behavior. Do you think she was cut proud?

BeastieSlave

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:55 AM

A PM conference would be good. I think there are several excellent threads that could use our help! I think that in some cases, we might want to let the OP have some say....

Tackpud maybe I can help you. I am feeling very powerful right now....
I (really!!!) did just connect two old appies who are father and son (both are geldings now - would that make the sire of the younger one a gelding?) who were in desperate need of a home together, with their former owner who had lost track of them! Like Black Beauty, they will get to live out their days with a loving owner who knew them when they were fine young things http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

LSM1212

Sep. 25, 2005, 09:08 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
Were you thinking they were threads for people with Attention Deficit Disorder?

Since I am on the subject of handicaps (wouldn't want to change the subject), here is a link for Karaoke for the deaf.... Be sure to turn your volume up...no, seriously, turn it up.

karaoke for the deaf (http://www.big-boys.com/articles/torn.html) </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

OMG, I am crying because I'm laughing so hard. This is probably the funniest thing I've seen in a LONG time!!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

Susan P

Sep. 25, 2005, 10:13 AM

i did tern itu p butt stil ca'nt here annything sinse hte speekor on my computor gott diskonectid. Duz annyone no why i ca'nt here anny sownd frumm my computor now???? i no i can stil here becuase i hereuther thigs, likke my Yourkeys bakring adn my husband yelling at me to get off the computer.

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif i am so confuse. But i no i can here, i'm shure i can. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

Equinetech

Sep. 25, 2005, 11:02 AM

Thanks so much to whomever started this thread. I really needed a laugh.

Not to hijack, but I think that whoever said their horse was lame should definately NOT call a vet because they only spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to go to school and learn about every species so they can work long hours for less pay doing something they love more than anything else in the world but they're all just out to price gouge you since the cost of gas for the vet trucks is so high and they don't know what the heck they're talking about. Of course your horse doesn't need x rays for his possibly broken leg, just call out the herbalist chiropractic horse whispering witch doctor, and most definatly take your horse to the show, in fact, just ice his leg real good and why not enter him in the breeder's cup sprint? After all , Afleet Alex and a bunch of other horses are out anyway and you might could beat the pants off of Lost in the Fog...undefeated schmundefeated.

jetsmom

Sep. 25, 2005, 12:05 PM

Montanamanda- I apologize if I offended you. No offense was intended.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 01:26 PM

Dear All,

I will try to respond to each of you in turn but I may mix things up a bit.

Kikki, after seeing your horse, I'm not so sure his father was a stallion. He looks quite feminine to me. As best as I can tell from the picture you submitted, (what is that greenish slime covering his neck anyway?) he appears to be quite the jumper! What form he has! Ids that a dressage ring you are jumping?

As for this year's fashion, you might try the new line just coming out by a great designer and cousin of Elton John, Anyole John. You will be sure to catch the judge's attention in this attire. Formal togs are also available.

Yes, Raff, I am so looking forward to that clinic. I am still trying to line up a super model and Roseanne Barr for that 10 demonstration.

Helen of NC, don't bother with that armor-plating for that new baby. He will then build too much muscling on his topline and thus be unable to place well at the white trash dressage shows. I suggest that you just pull all of her teeth. That, after all, is what they make Senior feeds and beet pulp for!

Heineken, I love the original name Splash. You will never find another one like it!

As for the sttress fracture of the brain. I find it very unlikely that anyone who has joined this thread is suffering from that injury. More than likely it is just a strain from lack of use. Next time your equine rehabilitation specialist is out, ask tham about the best exercise preventing that again.

JustJump,no worries. This doesn't sound like ESPM. It sounds like Lyme disease though. This is easily treatable with 27 rounds of antibiotics at once and a day off. You should be fine sending him to the show with your friend. Just make sure they both wear Nixon masks to keep them from getting ID'd. You better change his name too. I have always liked the name Splash. You will never hear another horse by that name anywhere.

mzpeepers, in no way will that ruin her training! My rule of thumb is to jump them one foot for every year of their age but if she is already showing 3rd level, she is obviously a child prodigy and must be moved up to 3 feet immediately!

As for your proud cut mare. If she has a Caslicks she is definately proud cut. If in doubt about this procedure, ask a little person to come watch her trot.

Well Susan P, If it is already beginning to rain, I say start blanketing in Feb. to keep those winter wollies at bay!

Now Beastie, I must say, this thread was created with the intention of keeping the BS on serious threads to a minimum and collected for all to see. Let's not stoop to their level. Soon enough they will want to come play on our course and we will raise the jump height. No way most of them will be able to clear it!!!

K-I-A

Tackpud

Sep. 25, 2005, 01:28 PM

Not to change the subject, but has anyone seen my brown gelding? I know he'd be really old by now, but I'm sure he's still alive since his mother lived until she was 72 and I'm still alive so he must be too.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 01:29 PM

And a special note to montanamanda:

This thread was meant to help me and others blow off some steam and maybe reduce the stupidity on some of the other threads. In no way is anything that is posted here meant to offend and I would like to keep it that way. Sincere apologies if it offended you in any way shape or form.

Tackpud

Sep. 25, 2005, 01:37 PM

I really need to vent now - my BM has just raised all the fees in the barn and she refuses to feed my horses what I tell her or put more shavings in their stalls. I mean really - I think my yearling should have at least 35 quarts of 16% protein sweet feed a day and my out-of-work shetland pony needs at least 10 quarts of 12% protein sweet feed to keep her happy. I also feed straight alfalfa hay to them - about a bale each feeding to each of them - and she wants to cut back on that too. And they only have 3 feet of shavings in their stalls - I'm afraid they're going to get hock rubs.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?!?!?!?! I pay $35.00 a month per stall at this place and they won't do what I want. What kind of boarding stable is this? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 02:05 PM

Oh Dear Tackpud,

I am sure that your forever felding friend is still out there. Have you tried the feed lot? That seems to be where everyone sends their aged horses. Being brown, he should be easy to identify there at least. Best wishes on your search and keep us posted please.

As for your trouble with your BM, you might try some metamucil. Now I'm not sure how that is horse related but I WILL address your yearling and pony problems. I would have to say that I would begin looking immediately for a new barn. My rule of thumb for bedding is to allow no more than 3 inches of clearance between the horse and rafters. Now this isn't rocket science. Obviously, 3 feet wouldn't be near enough for a yearling OR a Shetland pony unless of course they are the new 17hh+ breeding that is becomming so popular these days. I find that with all of your legitimate complaints, you are paying WAY too much. Run now and don't worry about that pesky 30 day notice. Just change your name and your horse's names and move to the neighboring barn. They wil never find you. Can I suggest the name Splash for your pony?

K-I-A

Kikki

Sep. 25, 2005, 03:50 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by horsesourcetexas:
Dear All,

I will try to respond to each of you in turn but I may mix things up a bit.

Kikki, after seeing your horse, I'm not so sure his father was a stallion. He looks quite feminine to me. As best as I can tell from the picture you submitted, (what is that greenish slime covering his neck anyway?) he appears to be quite the jumper! What form he has! Ids that a dressage ring you are jumping?

As for this year's fashion, you might try the new line just coming out by a great designer and cousin of Elton John, Anyole John. You will be sure to catch the judge's attention in this attire. Formal togs are also available.

Yes, Raff, I am so looking forward to that clinic. I am still trying to line up a super model and Roseanne Barr for that 10 demonstration.

Helen of NC, don't bother with that armor-plating for that new baby. He will then build too much muscling on his topline and thus be unable to place well at the white trash dressage shows. I suggest that you just pull all of her teeth. That, after all, is what they make Senior feeds and beet pulp for!

Heineken, I love the original name Splash. You will never find another one like it!

As for the sttress fracture of the brain. I find it very unlikely that anyone who has joined this thread is suffering from that injury. More than likely it is just a strain from lack of use. Next time your equine rehabilitation specialist is out, ask tham about the best exercise preventing that again.

JustJump,no worries. This doesn't sound like ESPM. It sounds like Lyme disease though. This is easily treatable with 27 rounds of antibiotics at once and a day off. You should be fine sending him to the show with your friend. Just make sure they both wear Nixon masks to keep them from getting ID'd. You better change his name too. I have always liked the name Splash. You will never hear another horse by that name anywhere.

mzpeepers, in no way will that ruin her training! My rule of thumb is to jump them one foot for every year of their age but if she is already showing 3rd level, she is obviously a child prodigy and must be moved up to 3 feet immediately!

As for your proud cut mare. If she has a Caslicks she is definately proud cut. If in doubt about this procedure, ask a little person to come watch her trot.

Well Susan P, If it is already beginning to rain, I say start blanketing in Feb. to keep those winter wollies at bay!

Now Beastie, I must say, this thread was created with the intention of keeping the BS on serious threads to a minimum and collected for all to see. Let's not stoop to their level. Soon enough they will want to come play on our course and we will raise the jump height. No way most of them will be able to clear it!!!

K-I-A </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you for that help. I have been a little bit concerned about his masculinity. Just yesterday I found him looking at the new SmartPink blanket?

BTW, that WAS a dressage arena. I was jumping in my dressage saddle thats why my stirrups were so long and I couldn't get off his back so I just leaned as far back as I could and balanced on his mouth. Should I worry about doing this? I don't think so - he is getting VERY responsive to the bridle now.

BeastieSlave

Sep. 25, 2005, 03:57 PM

OMG Tackpud, GET OUT OF THERE NOW!! You should not have to put up with that. You are the customer, and we all know the customer is always right! Forget about giving notice. Obviously they have violated your agreement so it is void.

And by the way, what supplements are your beasties currently getting? My beasties tell me I'm a feeding expert - and I'd be happy to help you work out a new feeding plan when you move http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Have you had your trailer serviced? It better be ready to get you out of that barn quickly. I can't say enough about towing with the Miata. What do you pull with? I sure hope you don't have to go get your horses in the middle of the night.... If you do be sure to take a gun.

M. O'Connor

Sep. 25, 2005, 04:09 PM

I thought the new designation is ADHD...and it's obviously an acronym for Absolutely Devoid of Humor Disorder, right? If not, I appologize for the offense I have just committed because it's a bad thing to cause offense...but what fense is the best type anyway? Does anyone know?

BeastieSlave

Sep. 25, 2005, 04:20 PM

Oh, it's okay if you cause afence. Most everyone respects afence!

I'm not offended by the ADD being a handicap stuff. I have a kid with ADHD who is on drugs. I am offended by your suggestion that my daughter does not have a sense of humor! She's a laugh a minute - takes after her mom don'tcha know?!

jetsmom

Sep. 25, 2005, 04:26 PM

I just want to know if everyone opened the "Karaoke fior the deaf" link I posted on the first page. It truly is funny, and gets funnier the more I watch it...

Sabina

Sep. 25, 2005, 04:28 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by M. O'Connor:
...but what fense is the best type anyway? Does anyone know? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bob Wire.

raff

Sep. 25, 2005, 04:45 PM

Well since ive been away and so busy because i have a lfe unlike some people i will give you the benefit of the few scant seconds i have available to me you know seconds are counted on watches on which i am also an expurt but as im so busy ill stick to the question at hand not the watch hand the issue o horses with or without the wuns,
if a horse has not got the wuns he will not do well at grand pri(the new IN spelling)even in america where the judges are ignorant peasants and the imported horses are dyed gypsy vanners except for mine who i got from a close friend i made yesterday.
im so busy i dont think ill be around much so i wont be reaing anything you say so anything you say is ergo.;'pointless
(but ill be back in a sec) http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

raff

Sep. 25, 2005, 05:05 PM

well thankyou very much wallowsend people like you make me flounce off back to torment the people at the barn because you are not worth my time.
unless you are prepared to suck it up whilst riding 8 days a week OUTSIDE the paper bag if you know what that even is and can map your horses family tree back to when he was a small dog like creature and can keep him alive for ever prior to giv http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gifing him a full viking burial "YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS OWNING A HORSE"
but as i said,i have nothing further to say to you
this message has been edited 17 times

Devistated100X

Sep. 25, 2005, 05:38 PM

Dear Know-it-all,
Please Help! I am sneaking out of the barn I currently board at and I am not sure where to go (I plan to do this in the middle of the night so the BO is not aware and does not try to get the money I owe to her). Can someone take me in for a short time - I have "NeVeR" done this to anyone before. I am not sure why there is never any hay, grain or shavings at this place. I would talk to the BO about paying her bills - but I am the BO and my mare is about to foal. I am not sure who the stud is but I think it is my husband because he offered to help in the barn about 8 weeks ago (like I believe he would help)... so I hope the litter is at least 5 so I can sell them off and board at a nicer facility. Please help me and send me some information on boarding at your place, your husbands character and where I can unload a litter of foaluppies. Oh and while I am on the subject... I require top quality care and can only afford $10 a month per horse. Did I mention I have 6 other geldings - maybe stallions and one of them is also about to have foaluppies too... Help

raff

Sep. 25, 2005, 05:46 PM

well im not dear knowitall but i know how dearie loves it when a new poster jumps in to answer first and ends up in the 100000000000 posts club....so
Make sure you rub those things bottoms with warm towels till they are pooping and peeing just at the sight of you. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Susan P

Sep. 25, 2005, 05:53 PM

Gee for only having 28 posts under yer belt ya have a purty good understanding of this BB.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Devistated100X:
Dear Know-it-all,
Please Help! I am sneaking out of the barn I currently board at and I am not sure where to go (I plan to do this in the middle of the night so the BO is not aware and does not try to get the money I owe to her). Can someone take me in for a short time - I have "NeVeR" done this to anyone before. I am not sure why there is never any hay, grain or shavings at this place. I would talk to the BO about paying her bills - but I am the BO and my mare is about to foal. I am not sure who the stud is but I think it is my husband because he offered to help in the barn about 8 weeks ago (like I believe he would help)... so I hope the litter is at least 5 so I can sell them off and board at a nicer facility. Please help me and send me some information on boarding at your place, your husbands character and where I can unload a litter of foaluppies. Oh and while I am on the subject... I require top quality care and can only afford $10 a month per horse. Did I mention I have 6 other geldings - maybe stallions and one of them is also about to have foaluppies too... Help </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

BeastieSlave

Sep. 25, 2005, 06:24 PM

Don't you want an autograph from someone with a few more posts listed? It's common knowledge that the more posts you have, the better (or is that more?) advice you give....

Everybody knows that Grand Prix (should that be changed to Grand Pri?) is better than Training! Then there are those of us who pay to be rated 'Premium'.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 06:32 PM

Dear All,

Well M. O'Connor, I will have to go with Sabina and say that Bob Wire is definately the best type of fense.

jetsmom, I did open the karaoke for the deaf link for my stallion but he didn't get much humor out of it. Could that be because he's blind?

willowsend, the OTTB's for eight year olds is the oldest trick in the book for the trophy wives. It's kind of like Munchhausen's Syndrome by Proxy. What better way to show the world how much you adore your child than by sitting at his/her bedside whilst they are in a coma. (As long as said coma doesn't coincide with HITS).?

As for getting Raff's autograph, I'm sure if you asked nicely, you could get a million of them. Ebay prices vary but, being a live animal, I don't think it's posting would be allowed.

Raff, I would hope you plan on inviting the world to said Viking burial. Complete with a monument in the shape of a viking ship.

And Raff, the rubbing of bottoms sounds to have excited you a little too quickly. You may try a cold shower now.

Well gee Devistated100X, what a connundrum! I would definately have a talk with the BO. I'm afraid at $10/mo/horse, you are far above my standard of care. You are looking for a top class hunter barn for sure where you can have a BNT make you BLT's in the PM. My husband, I'm afraid, also wouldn't meet your standards. He has yet to produce a single foaluppy to date. His motility must be slow but if you try fresh frozen, it may be better. My best advice now would be to open all the gates at this current facility and let your horses find new homes of their own. After all, they always know what's best for them!

K-I-A

BeastieSlave

Sep. 25, 2005, 07:09 PM

Oh wallowsend, I am afraid to name names on this public forum, but if you PM me I will tell all, even though I have no idea who you are. I mean, for all I know you are an alter sent to infiltrate the ranks of the malcontent http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

I once had a horse we called "The Marquis de Sod". He may have known some of your trainers as he was fairly abusive nasty screamer - and we all know horses don't act that way without years of training.

mzpeepers

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:15 PM

Dear Know It All,
Thank you so much for your reply...i just Knew that my mare was proud cut but was afraid to say somthing because my self absorbed vet didn't believe me!!!
Imagine being told that mares don't get cut! I'm positive it's a conspiracy between the vet and the BO because for some reason they don't like me.

It's so great to be on this board, you people are so helpful and obviosuly very important and busy like Raff...

Also...I've beenthinking of buying a horse for my 3 yrs old grandson. Do you think a stallion would be appropriate? He's so beautiful! About 15.5 hands and sabino...

mzpeepers

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:28 PM

Thank you willowsend! That's exactly what I was thinking!
What a wonderful boy you must have being so friendly with your sister in law! I hope the one I'm getting for my grand kid will be just as nice!

3fatponies

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:29 PM

Dear Know-It-All,
Perhaps you could help me with several horse related questions?

1. I need to retire my old horse(well, he's not really old, only 10, but he looks a good decade older) that I used to jump against my vet's suggestion. He is missing an eye, has navicular which requires $500 corrective shoes, needs weekly vitamin B shots to have the strength to walk to the feed bucket(well, I don't do that, but I think his next owner should) and sometimes likes to bite and kick(he always feels good enough for that). I really, really love this horse, but now that he is old and used up, he is a real drag to have around. Because I love him so much, I can't stand the idea of selling him directly to the feedlot, but keeping him would mean that I would either have to tone down my Jaguar payments and stop buying Coach bags or not get a newer, better horse. Neither one of those is an option, so I was hoping you could tell me what kind of person I could look for who might agree to take him and pay for all his care for the rest of his life (or sell him to the feedlot a month later--as long as I can pretend I don't know).

2. Since my old horse is "all stove up," I am in the market for a new one. Could you tell me where I could get a 17 hand black stallion for $500 or maybe even free? My trainer says I need a packer, but she doesn't understand that I have been watching a lot of Pat Parelli videos and I am a much better rider than she realizes. Since I am sure that I will someday be on the USET team, I really need a horse with a lot of talent and presence so everyone realizes my skill. Can you suggest something that might work for me? Maybe I should buy a foal so I can raise him right?

3. I recently stopped at a small private barn and talked to the owner about boarding (after I got the owner to stop wasting my time and get out of the shower to answer the door--I rang that doorbell for HOURS--I don't have time for that! How rude!!). I am not sure how, but I suspect I offended her. I explained to her that it really would be in her best interest for me to board there, since no one could possible take a backyard owner without a boarder seriously and it would provide her with a LOT of extra money. I told her that I know what it costs to keep a horse, and for $100 a month, I would be providing her with quite a big "tip," so she would be stupid to refuse. She didn't say anything (I think something was wrong with her jaw, since her mouth hung open for the longest time--icky! I don't know if I am comfortable now that I know she is deformed--what if she fell on my horse when her mouth was like that?? She might end up biting him!!). Since I thought her silence was pretty rude after I did her the favor of providing her with a way to make loads of extra cash, I pointed out that she would need to do a few things first to earn some of that extra money, like put in a bathroom for me(I don't want to have to share hers--what if that mouth thing is catching?!?). That's when she ran to the hall closet and I heard what sounded like a shotgun racking. I left because obviously she was crazy in addition to being deformed, and I am sure that I didn't do anything wrong, but I hoped you could offer some tips for finding a barn run by someone normal and properly grateful.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:40 PM

Dear mzpeepers,

I believe that letting a child and their horse grow up together is a wonderful bonding experience. I so hope that the stallion you are looking at is a youngster. He should be no more than a yearling in my opinion but considering he's 15.5 hands now, you may have to think about replacing himwithin the next few years when your grandson outgrows him. You can easily tell when this event occurs as your grandson's legs will start to actually hang down instead of pointing straight out to the side. When this happens it's time to look int buying a drafty for him. In the mean time, may I suggest the name Splash for the sabino stallion? You will never hear another horse by that name!

willowsend, please make sure that you find a BNT to teach your stallion ground manners but first, have your animal communicator ask your horse which BNT he prefers. Try to find one that teaches horses to dance. This way, your step daughter will have a horse and prom date all wrapped into one. This will come in handy considering the possible impending facial disfigurements she may suffer during a rowdy game of take the carrot from my mouth.

K-I-A

mzpeepers

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:52 PM

Dear Know It All,
Thank you so much for your reply.
Th sabino stallion might not work ouy as he is 2 yrs old...too old...you're sooo right!
I think I'll Pm willowsend and ask her wher sh found her stallion. He sounds so friendly! May be he has a brother...
Also, perhaps BeastieSlave has some suggestions, being that she had a Marquis De Sod horse. don't know if it was a stallion though...so that might now work either.
I'm confused...so much information...oh...one more thing...do you think that 350.00 is too high a price for a sabino 15.5 2 yrs old stallion? I know thay are asking a lot more but I think that, once th sellers find out what a wonderful home I'm going to provide, they'll see my point and lower the price.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:56 PM

Dear 3fatponies,

Let's see if we can answer your questions.

1. I can only suggest that you LIE like a rug! That is the only way you can get out from under this burden. I mean, what does he expect? You fed and watered hiom while using him up right? Now he owes you! Advertise him for a minimum of $20k and I bet he will sell tomorrow!

2. I know just the place for you to find your new horse. Two places actually! First you might check with CANTER. I'm sure they have that 17hh black stallion in your price range. Of course, you may have that initial outlay of money to pin his front legs back together but he should be able to jump 3 ft within the year.

The second place you might try is the BLM wild horse adoptions. You might as well put all those hours of Pat Parelli training to use and show your trainer that she doesn't know anything about horses like you have been telling her since you jumped her schoolmaster over your Jaguar without a helmet that time with NO lasting effects! You told her so!

3. This barn sounds like THE perfect place for you and your new horse! I would go back, with a shotgun of my own since the BO seems to like firearms, and force her to take your deposit. Then just hand her your blueprints for the indoor arena and therapy pool that you want installed this month. She should come around quickly. And, no worries, the jaw thing isn't contagious...until you open the first month's board invoice that is.

Best,
K-I-A

Smiles

Sep. 25, 2005, 08:59 PM

Dear Oh Great Know it all, I had responsed early in this thread, of course I haven't read the rest of it, so if this has already been talked about too bad, Do you think I should charge up the battery in my barbie jeep before taking the 12 horse bumper pull trailer to finals? Early in the week Ken took it for a spin but I think its good to go! Also Mini/mule/gypsy sport horse has a missing leg after I brought him in from the pasture. Do you think our finals is in jeopardy? I think he will be sound enough to jog infront of the judge? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 09:03 PM

Dear mzpeepers,

I do think that $350 is too high for this horse. I know they are asking $50,000 but I would let them come visit and after they see the beautiful accomodations you have and the excellent care he would recieve, make them the offer they can't refuse. You will keep and care for their precious baby for only $450/mo. Get it all in writing though!

willowsend,

The stallion, being a stallion, would be a little embarrassed wearing the sparkles applied directly to his hooves but I'm sure would LOVE a set of sparkly bell boots. Just ask at the local play day where to order them. Do so quickly though as they will sell out early!

K-I-A

3fatponies

Sep. 25, 2005, 09:10 PM

Dear Know-It-All,

Thank you so much for replying and confirming that my instincts are right. It's such a pleasure to finally talk to someone who "gets it!" I am glad that you suggested selling my old, used-up horse, because I put a lot of time and training into him--I mean, jeez, if I hadn't, wouldn't he still be sound?!? I was thinking that if I gave him a little something to "get the edge off," and used a false name, I could probably find him a new home really quickly. Maybe someplace like a handicapped riding facility?

I will look at CANTER and the BLM, but I found this horse I really like: http://horse.classifieds.equine.com/horses/826130.html I know he is a little out of my price range, but I am going to try to get them to realize the value of the great home I can provide, and if I can get my old junker horse into that theraputic facility right away, I can even go as high as $1250!

I think tomorrow I will go back and talk to that rude lady with the barn. I have made up some flowcharts, graphs and flash cards to show her how much money I will be putting into her pocket, so that should help. In case that's not enough, I am also going to suggest that she think about all the business I can refer to her. Why, my one friend Kathy had the great idea that she and I could pay for a "community horse," and then the BO would get to ride it once or twice a week (assuming it didn't conflict with when we wanted to ride it) in exchange for feeding and caring for it. If that's not a great opportunity, I don't know what is! Do you think I should wait until after I move in to point out that, considering what I am paying, I will need to be there whenever I feel like it (I am an insomniac, and sometimes like to turn on all the arena light and jump for a couple of hours--usually between 1 and 3 am)and so the daylight hours schedule isn't going to work for me?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 09:11 PM

Dear Smiles,

Now we ALL know that Ken is gone! You may still be in denial and for that we can overlook the above post but keep in mind that we know by "Ken" you mean your new lady friend Kendra! Tell the tramp that she had better bring the jeep back on full charge next time if you are worried about this.

Finals? Jeopardy? If your mini/mule/gypsy sport horse has made final jeopardy, then I don't think a little lameness will stop him. The jog in front of the judge won't count nearly as much as that final question. You and "Ken"dra help him cram for it and the finals should be yours!

K-I-A

3fatponies

Sep. 25, 2005, 09:20 PM

Dear Know-it-all,

I was thinking that I might have another option if that handicapped riding facility asks for a vet check and I can't get rid of him that way. If I locate a backyard barn, and unload him there in the middle of the night, don't you think they will be thrilled when they wake up in the morning and they have a new horse?!? I know I won't make any money off him that way, but I would really be doing someone a favor, and I am such a good person that being that generous really appeals to me. And plus, that way, if they do send him to the meat man, I can feel confident that at least I did my part and accepted my responsibilities. After all, I can't control what happens after they own him, so if they are willing to live with that on their conscience, well, all I can do is feel sorry for them for being so cruel.

Do you think that might be a good plan if he takes too long to sell(I thought about advertising him to hurry it up, but I figured that would just be more money spent on him, and now that he's useless, I'd rather not bother)?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 25, 2005, 09:31 PM

Dear 3fatponies,

A handicapped riding facility may be alright but those pesky volunteers always want to keep you updated on their lives. You just need to cut ties amd be done. Try advertising him. If he doesn't sell quickly, raise the price. He's sure to go then. If still that doesn't pan out you can always search for a farm in your area that is being investigated for neglect and sneak him in there. He will surely end up at some great caring rescue that way. Well unless the judge sees fit to give him to the neglector in which case he is still rehomed!

Which of the horses in the picture are you contemplating? The ong galloping across the hill is nice but I would go for the one in the background. He must be about 150hh from that picture. I bet he could jump a course! I would pay $1250 for him but first I would try to talk them down using the arguement that you would have to refence and build a new barn for him first. You never really have to follow through but use it as a bargaining chip!

Tell the lady with the barn anything you want. I'm sure she will be more than happy to listen to all you have to say once you establish your mutual passion for firearms.

Best,
K-I-A

Thoroughbred1201

Sep. 25, 2005, 11:17 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by willowsend:
Oh, Mz Peepers, what a grand idea! I gave my 2 year old step daughter a stallion, last year. He does so love to play with the child, he likes to pretend he is walking on two legs and pat her on the shoulder (of course, this is when he is not being bred). We are having so much fun with him, that we haven't gotten around to finding a trainer to teach him groundmanners, yet, but he's so friendly (did I tell you he tried to mount my sister in law) that we would hate to spoil his inner child. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, you know of course, that you HAVE to find a Natural Horsemanship trainer. That's all that would do for this special wunderkin. Make sure the communicator tells you if he agrees with your choice when you make it.

You'll need to install a round pen for this. But that's all you'll need. A good NH trained horse has no need of straight lines. That's for unskilled, untrained horses - like dressage horses. I'm sure that for just $49.95 the NH trainer can recommend one. Or sell you a do-it-yourself video for the same price so that you can make one.

Be sure you get the base for the footing just right. And the crown has to be perfect otherwise you'll end up with - OH NO! - mud!

The dressage queen next door can help you with this, she is a footing expert after all. (You know she scored a 10 on her piaffe last week - pity the total score for the test was under 49.) Apparently the judge didn't know what he was seeing. But looking at the test, the 10 did seem odd . . . the 1 and the 0 looked like they were each done in different handwriting . . .

Remember, all of this will be a good investment for the future star of horse dancing.

raff

Sep. 26, 2005, 01:08 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by willowsend:
Dear Know-it-all,
I am terribly impressed by Raff's importanceness do you think I could get his/her autograph and if so how much do you think I could get for it on ebay? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Dear Sir,i am only posting on Raffs rego because im now retired but have no time to make my own user name.However ive found a tiny moment to direct you to my website ankyklimkejingles/religedu (http://www.http/jingles.com)
Cheers ROBERT

BeastieSlave

Sep. 26, 2005, 04:29 AM

Dear raff/Robert,
Perhaps you need to take a tiny moment more to make sure your link actually works! I just wasted several of my precious moments trying to get it open and then sending this reply http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

3fatponies

Sep. 26, 2005, 04:44 AM

Dear Know-It-All,

I think I have found the solution to my problem of boarding! I went back to talk to that rude lady, but I think either no one was home, or she was sick. After banging on the door, I tried honking my horn repeatedly, but aside from the curtains twiching, I saw no signs of life. I wasn't surprised--I suspected she was stupid when she didn't jump on my lucrative offer, and between her jaw deformity and her stupidity, I am not sure that my horse would recieve the level of care I like.

However, one of my friends said that a stall opened up in the barn she is at, so I will probably go there. The barn is owned by this very old couple, and despite the inconvenience of moving that might occur should one of them be so rude as to die, I think it will be perfect. The husband is still strong enough to muck my stall multiple times a day, and I am sure my money would be valued there, what with the high cost of modern medicine and all. Even though the barn is close to the road, I feel pretty comfortable with it, because the old man stands in the middle of the road and screams at everyone driving by. It's so cute--I haven't heard words like that since I stopped dating sailors!

Anyway, it's just down the road from that rude lady, and I think I have figured out how to fix her wagon for being such a witch. I think I will start a Trail Association and then make all kinds of accusations against her about how much damage she is causing. I thought about trying to get some proof to back up my accusations, but that seems like a lot a work, and I don't really have the time, what with being so busy with watching the nanny make breakfast and get the kids off to school each morning. I figure if I whisper in enough ears, I can get her neighbors to ban her from their property. It could backfire, of course, and make an ugly situation for all of us, but I am pretty confident that I am diplomatically skilled enough to pull it off. I know I can get the old guy to hate her, though I might have to keep reminding him why. Don't you think that's a great idea for getting back at her for refusing to realize the privilege of caring for my horse?

By the way, the horse I am interested in is that Friesan stallion ( the huge one in the background, not the tiny galloping one--he's ugly), though I think $75k is a little absurd. I know he will be worth that after I have put some training into him, but right now I am going to offer them $1150 and see if they bite. I could go higher, but that would mean that I couldn't eat out every night and would have to get rid of my housekeeper, and I do so hate cooking and cleaning.

Once I finish my morning chores(I hate having to keep up on the housekeeper and nanny--they are just so lazy and if I turn my back for a minute, they stop doing anything to earn the exorbitant salaries I am paying them--I don't know why some people don't realize that there are poor people who would kill for a $2/hr job that lets them keep their clothes on), I am going to go talk to the old man really loudly about how much fun he will have boarding my horse. I'll let you know how it goes!

raff

Sep. 26, 2005, 04:46 AM

Dear Beastieslave,it is time to tell you "if a girl is crying she int havin any fun" http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/cry.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/cry.gif
Ps I am unable to advise those about a saddle wide enough for some of their needs which will also accommodate those with a ten inch inseam.Perhaps Dear Know-It-All will help in that regard?
I am however able to take a few precious moments to remark upon what one should consider to constitute a riding horse.
My $ listed here comeinsucker@oneborneveryminute.com$ (http://poolilly)
edited to add someone here has seriously hurt my feelings,may one leave it to you to administer the lash,or must one call in the IMMMODERATORS http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif
TATA my geriatric kittenpupfoals need me.

Tackpud

Sep. 26, 2005, 05:02 AM

THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad everyone agreed that I needed to move my horses. I couldn't respond last night since I had to sneak into the barn and take my horses out of that horrible place without anyone seeing me.

Mr. Know-It-All - do you really think Metamucil will help my horses? They get lots of supplements already - All the Vitamins I can find, Farrier's Formula, Chondroitin, MSM, Glucosamine, Pro-Biotics, Ex Stress, Regumate, Quietex, Garlic, Quitt (they all chew their stalls - is this a problem?), Accel, Missing Link, Electrolytes, Mirra Coat, Gastrogard, and Red Cell. The SmartPak people suggested all that and I must say that they sure know what they are talking about. I had all those on my list even before talking to the representative on the phone.

That's something else the former BM was rude about - she always yelled at me about the size of my SmartPaks. I'm sure this new place will understand and feed them twice a day like I want. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

I'm so glad I found this BB - I don't know what I would have done without such understanding friends!

BeastieSlave

Sep. 26, 2005, 05:05 AM

Well raff, there is no need to get all snarky! I was simply pointing out that I was having a problem with your link. I think you are taking my comments here WAY TOO SERIOUSLY! BTW, I have tried and tried to open your new link. Surely I am not the only one trying to open it? Isn't anyone else? I mean, comeinsucker@oneborneveryminute sounds like my kind of place!

Oh, not to change the subject or hijack the thread, but I was thinking about adding some dry beet pulp to my beasties' feed. I know this was discussed a while back, but I'm to lazy to look for it. How much can I add to each horse's feed before its stomach blows up?

raff

Sep. 26, 2005, 05:30 AM

Dear Beastie,not snarky,just a little tired and emotional,maybe its my thyroid?
Who stole my halter and where is Horhay the barn help when Splash is scared by a tiny screaming partial person whilst training the "pri"
I suggest you follow Tackpuds all supplements. no grain diet.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:00 AM

Dear Tackpud,

I am glad you have seen the light. After all it was my idea to move those horses you know! Metamucil for the horses? I thought you were talking about your needs http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_redface.gif And are you sure she was yelling SmartPaks? That word can easily be confused in the heat of the moment.

Beastieslave, We suggest feeding beet pupl free choice. After all, if a little bit is good, a whole lot must be better. And, of course, your beasties will only consume as much as they need. We just open a bag and pour it into the water trough. Easy as 123.

3fatponies, keep us updated on your barn move. The new one sounds perfect too!

An Raff, <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Dear Sir,i am only posting on Raffs rego because im now retired but have no time to make my own user name.However ive found a tiny moment to direct you to my website ankyklimkejingles/religedu
Cheers ROBERT </div></BLOCKQUOTE>I am disapointed! I know often men claim to know it all but everyone knows only a woman can actually have THIS much knowledge and share it with others so eloquently!

K-I-A

BeastieSlave

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:04 AM

Dear Know It All,
I like the idea of feeding beet pulp free choice! Now, will it affect my goldfish if I just pour it in the water trough? I am very attached to my fish and wouldn't want to do anything that might harm them.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:12 AM

Dear Beastie,

Unfortunately, your goldfish may find it hard to swim through the beet pulp. That is why you must install hamster tunnels throughout the trough fo them to swim through.

K-I-A

Tackpud

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:20 AM

Metamucil for me?!?! Won't that interfere with my bran laxatives?

BeastieSlave

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:21 AM

Dear K-I-A,
Will the goldfish be able to get to the algae from their tunnels? Will the beet pulp soak up all their water? What about amonia build up? Do I need to start feeding the fish too? If so, can you suggest any top quality fish food that won't harm my horses? I am feeding my horses Triple Crown products. Does anyone know if they make fish food? I would check their web site or call my feed store, but I'm just too busy.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:41 AM

Dearest Tackpud,

YOU are the one who brought up YOUR problem with YOUR BM! I didn't think it was horse related but tried to help anyway. You need to contact your vet...I mean doctor for further advice on this subject due to liability laws.

BS, The beet pulp will also suck up all of the algae in your tanks. It won't suck all the water up though if you mix it correctly. It must be mixed 50/50. Make sure to weigh it out, don't eyeball it. One ounce of water could make the difference in your horse and goldfish ending up like these poor trough dwelling toads (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4486247.stm). They won't need any further food as they will gladly clean up all of the beet pulp that the horses drop into the tunnels although, I'm sure I saw oon Triple Crown's web site that they make a perfectly balanced fish food for obese fish. It comes in a gold bag of course!

K-I-A

asb_own_me

Sep. 26, 2005, 07:06 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetsmom:
I just want to know if everyone opened the "Karaoke fior the deaf" link I posted on the first page. It truly is funny, and gets funnier the more I watch it... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

YES! Hilarious!

bumknees

Sep. 26, 2005, 07:24 AM

Dear Know it all
Oh boy I got a bragan.. I went to the local kill aucton and got a 15yo fillystud and ohh what wonderful blood lines herz daddy was also the brother, granfather , uncle and cousin and herz mommy is herz aunt, sister, grandma and brother.
Shez is about 10feet tall at the headso getting on herz next week might be a bit difficult. the vet mentioned what wonderful blood lines she has and said i'm lucky her bones are still soft and maybe they will toughen up with time. I think next week I will just start jumping herz over the 6 foot pasture fence after all what would toughen up the bones faster than that pounding. At that rate do you think ill be able to try out for the olympics next year?
I think I got all the stuff 20 matching sets of polo wraps, 200 bottles of hoof black, I told my blacksmith that I wanted trailers on the front shoes and stud holes on the toes of only the back feet.I think if I have my blacksmith cut her feet to where they are tiny and upright she might get beter up and over then she does now.
what supplements do you thnk shez should be put on.. Oh yeah the vet put her on a dose of Asprin every day cuz he said something about her having a heart attack. so they cant interfear with that..

NowThatsATrot

Sep. 26, 2005, 07:33 AM

Somehow I missed this thread over the weekend.

All I can say is --

*glee*

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mzpeepers

Sep. 26, 2005, 07:49 AM

Horseless no more I would put your fillystud on the very same Smart Pack that Tackpud is using on her horses. sounds like the ideal combination and I'm sure it won't interfere with the daily Aspirin dose.
Of course, Know It All might have a better reccomendation, I'm just guessing here, but in my experience the more supplements you give, the better.
On that subject, my farrier just called to inform me he will no longer do my horses. Something about my proud cut mare kicking him in the chest and sending him to the hospital for a month...how rude of him, don't you think? I mean, if the farrier is so incompetent as to not know when to get out of the way, why should my horses be penalized? Now i have to drop my shopping to go look for another farrier....sooo annoying....May be i'll just buy a book, learn how to do my own trimming and let them go barefoot. What do you all think?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 08:07 AM

Dear horseless no more,

WELCOME! You sure did get a bargain on that fillystud! I always say if you like it once on their papers why not repeat it! Sounds like she came from a top notch breeding program!

As for mounting. You should call the horse dancing instructor out this week. Have him teach her to lie down for mounting. At only 15 years old and already 10' at the head, she will keep growing for at least another 10 years so you better get a handle on that problem now.

The Olympics sound like a very realistic goal for you. I'm sure after a week of jumping her over those pasture fences, she will be ready to take you there right after you get out of that full body cast!

Your plan for farrier care sounds right on the nose. I would however start with only a two horse bumper pull trailer on those front shoes until she is a bit more conditioned. As for the hind feet though, I really suggest you leave her stud hole where it is currently located, under her tail. I mean how much money do you really want to spend with that trainer anyway? I'm sure he would charge you upwards of $1000 to teach her to lie on her bach and present her hind feet for breeding. I am sure you would want t obreed her considering her amazing pedigree!

I personally recommend my supplement plan. I found one supplement for each letter of the alphabet and feed one three times a day. Let's see, we give Adequan this Monday, Biotinthis Tue, Cosequin this Wed......You get the picture. It's a fun game to play with all the barn kids too. Teaches them their ABC's and allows you to get your supplements without having to pay for them! Make it a show and tell. Assign each of them a letter to bring in!

mzpeepers, Barefoot trimming is the way to go! My 80 year old granndmother does all of my horses...well except for the ones with eggbars and build ups. Those I do myself. My grandmother has never gotten kicked in the chest though! It's really time for you to find a new farrier. Your current one sounds inept at best.

K-I-A

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 09:11 AM

Dear Willowsend,

I don't recommend misting the judges. Being garlic scented will help you in your quest to weed out the Vampire Judge Clique. If they run screaming, all riders atending the show are to immediately counter-canter after them to drive a stake through their hearts. If the persuit lasts too long, riders may change leads as needed but must travel in a perfectly straight line, no bending, only half passes when needed.

As for the flatulence problem in general, I think you should invest in the clicker training series so you can teach him to fart with each click/stride. THEN rehire the dancing trainer to correograph your freestyle routine. Hand him a copy of the WTD handbook though just in case he's not aware of the rules or lack thereof. After you win the Gran Pri at the WTD shows, farriers will be lining up to shoe your horse!

K-I-A

mzpeepers

Sep. 26, 2005, 09:31 AM

Dear Know It All,
I'm afraid that I disagree with the clicker training method for willowsend's horse. I would suggest a more Natural Approach to the flatulence problem. Why, with the right NH trainer she will have that horse fart to the rythm of ANY tune!! Even the dancing trainer might have to learn a thing or two!
Humbly yours,
mzpeepers

nettiemaria

Sep. 26, 2005, 09:37 AM

Dear Know It All:

I've heard that I can help keep my horse calm by feeding said horse 5 pounds of sweet feed a day, and then I should put him in his stall 24/7. The Gee-I want the Perfect Horse Book said so!

It also says that to keep this calmness that I should NOT let said horse out for no more than five minutes a day.

Is this true?

Thank you Mr. Know It All!

nettiemaria

Sep. 26, 2005, 09:40 AM

Oh, I am also having a problem with barn sourness. I always ride back to the barn when my horse shakes his head in SUPREME DEFIANCE, and feed him immediately, hoping he won't do it again, because it's scary. Am I doing the right thing?

Tackpud

Sep. 26, 2005, 10:10 AM

I just have to tell everyone about this incredible discovery I made. I have such a problem keeping my outside water tanks clean. My horses insist on getting dirt in them when they drink! So I bought TidyBowl cleaners and put them in the bottom of the tanks and now the tanks stay sparkling blue all the time! The water always stays clean and I rarely have to refill the tanks. It's made such a difference in my life!

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 10:50 AM

Dear mzpeepers,

Thank you for your opinion BUT, as you all know (maybe the only thing for some readers), I KNOW IT ALL!!! There is NOTHING natural about training a horse! NOTHING!

Nettiemaria, No the real calming effect starts to take place somewhere around 10 lbs/day of the 9% sweet feed. If you only have one horse, free choice is the way to go. Just open a bag and dump it in the feed trough. If ants become a nuisance, just spray liberally with any generic pesticide mixed equally with Skin So Soft and Apple Cidar Vinegar. Also for more calming. pour a gallon of corn oil directly on top of frree choice sweet feed. Note: If following this diet, you may want to abandon the clicker trained fart lessons temporarily or at least prepare as you would for front row Gallagher seats.

Does your barn sour horse calm down when offered food? If so, the fix is really simple. I learned this from a BNT at the last GM clinic I attended. You strap on a feed bag full to the brim with sweet feed, then blindfold the horse (okay I borrowed that part from the NH guy). You should be ready t go anywhere!

Willowsend, Palominos are the rage with WB NOT western ponies. You missed that fad completely! I would say though that if you used either brand of coloring in said hue, you would come out with a giant carrot colored horse. That could be dangerous at the western events because one of those fat little ponies may mistake your horse for a treat! Watch over your shoulder at all times if this does occur. I have noted also that watching over your shoulder and pointing that way with the hand holding the reins seems to be the way to run barrels anyway! Maybe that's it! All those folks are really good riders, just afraid the western pleasure vaccuums are coming to eat their horseies.?

Tackpud, Thanks so much for sharing your success story. If you will look on page 1,000,000,796 of my book, All I Know, I Taught Myself, you will find that tip. I can only assume you found it there.

K-I-A

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 11:02 AM

Dear All,

I know everyone was horribly worried about me here. It is 1:00 and I HAVE POWER(off since 9:30 Sat morning). Of course, I did have to go out and tell the power guys how to fix it!

Thanks for all your concern....resume your abnormal behavior now.

K-I-A

bumknees

Sep. 26, 2005, 11:03 AM

Thanksyous for the wonderful sugustions.
I'z think the fillystud haz already done been doin the wild thang. My NNT walked her manly studly pony by hrez and pow shez just done did thro hez self to da grund shez did.then she askd fer a cigrette... Shez was quite put off when I'z showed her the No Smoking sign in the barn.
I think I will get that smart pac catalogue and order every one in it.That should help her alot.
Oh yeah do you think I should bathe herz in Show Sheen?to bring out herz beauty? Or maybe one or two of those color enhancer shampoo's thinking I really want her to be a black instead of a brown flecked white horse.. So maybe if I combine 3 or 4 diffrent colors that will work?

nettiemaria

Sep. 26, 2005, 11:20 AM

Dear Know It All:

Thank you so much for your advice. When I get home, I'm gonna just give it to him free lance, and see if that helps calm him down!

Can I ask one more question? Youthatknowestall - I recently bought a pony for my neice. Nice little pony, except he likes to go on horsey-back rides on my mare. Now Lil (the PROBLEM MARE), REALLY LOVES this pony. She will back her but right up to that little pony, and that pony wants to jump on her back, and have her take him for a ride! (cute little thing!) Now, I am concerned about this, because I don't think my mare should be backing up to my five year old neice's beginner pony, inviting him for a ride. When she does that, he get's all excited, and just keeps jumping on her again and again and again! The trader said HE was gelded, so it has to be true.

But, I am concerned that if I rode both of them at the same time, and she did this to the pony, that my neice might fall off? That would be dangerous, wouldn't it? I am thinking of getting rid of the mare, and keeping the pony. Perhaps I could trade her for another mare.

Whatdoyouthink?

Want to share an idea that I heard last night! If one mixes ammonia and bleach, and puts it on their horses' hooves, I have heard that this will IMMEDIATELY get rid of thrush, and also help people with their sinus problems. Just think, helping thrush and sinuses at the same time! I'll bet that would also help that lady with her dirty water trough!

mzpeepers

Sep. 26, 2005, 11:26 AM

Dear Know It All,
Of course you're right about nothing being natural about horse training! What a silly I said!
I have another question....you're so wise and your knowledge is just astounding so I hope you don't mind...
I've heard that you can cure a horse with navicular by repeatedly running him up a hill. Is that true?

SweatySaddlepad

Sep. 26, 2005, 12:18 PM

Dear Knowitall

My 7 year old daughter has been taking lessons for a month now and she's just a natural. She she doesn't know quite how to post yet and she does come off once a lesson but the trainer won't let her jump yet and I just don't understand why? I'm thinking of calling my famous Neurosurgeon husband and having him come talk to her. surely she would listen to him. Or better yet we are so wealthy I'll buy a barn and train her myself, no I have never ridden in my life but I have watched every lesson I know I could do it better. My husband has a friend who raises and trains racehorses he has a two year old he says is just perfect for my daughter, he's a little spooky and likes to run through fences and rear but other than that he's a nice horse and really beautiful, what do you think!

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 12:52 PM

Dear horseless no more,

If your fillystud is a smoker, I wouldn't recommend the Show Sheen bath http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/no.gif. If she happened to light up before drying POOF!!! Just coat her in Crisco. Shine, shine, shine. If she is turned out 24/7, have someone with a heightened sense of smell sniff her occasionally. If it smells like bacon, triple blanket/hood her to keep the sun off.

Bathe her in bluing. It will turn the white flecks blue and start a new trend. Allow it to soak at least 3 hours though for maximum effect.

willowsend, with the GV dye job, he may be mistaken for a giant Oreo! You may be safe with that one though because those pudgy little cream puffs won't be able to catch him even at their quickest gait, the trope. No, by the way, I didn't confuse you with nettiemaria. I figured you are such a concerned and up to date horse owner that you too would most surely be clicker training your horse also.

As for the calves, I say when in Rome(Georgia that is), do as the Romens do. Spook proof your horse by saddling him up at night and running him full tilt at the cows/calves until they crash through the distant fences thus allowing you some peace and quiet and a much needed training session with your horse.

nettiemaria, don't get rid of that mare. She sounds unflappable! What I would do, after bubble wrapping your niece and getting a helmet for the pony, is teach your mare to pull. For help with this, just ask the drafty clique. After she is comfortable driving (that should only take 15 minutes or so) attach the pony to the crupper of the harness by his girth and enjoy your ride! I'm sure he will.

mzpeepers, No, you are mistaken. You must run them downhill but only if the footing is hard packed and it rained the previous Friday on the full moon. Otherwise, you are just building underline muscling resulting in a ewe necked horse immediately.

SweatySaddlepad, I think your daughter should try jumping on the trainer's horse first before moving on to the 2 year old who is the obvious match for her. First have your neurosurgeon husband come to the barn with you in the middle of the night. Take out the softest, most conditioned saddle you can find and saddle the horse. Then have your husband stitch your daughter to the saddle (don't forget the novicaine or you will be found out). Lead them to the arena and chase the horse until they canter. Shoo him toward the jump and right before they reach it, have hubby flip the arena lights on so they can see, then back off quickly so as to not be seen. If hubby is truly a competent neurosurgeon, his stitches should have held your daughter over the jump. If not, he is there to make heads or tails of her scrambled brain. Win, win! As soon as you are done, run to the race track and pick up that 2 year old before someone snatches him up! Those young TB's are sure hard to find!

K-I-A

nettiemaria

Sep. 26, 2005, 01:04 PM

Dear Know It All!
You are great!

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horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 01:51 PM

Dearest willowsend,

If you covet his land then you must have it. Stop at nothing to obtain it. Right now is the perfect time to start the rumor mill running on about Indian burial grounds and unhappy spirits. Borrow a small pinto pony and grab the nearest Pocohontas Halloween costume ( try for the one WITHOUT the little plastic mask as seeing and breathing are difficult in those). Jump on said pony bareback at around 3 AM after ou have "refreshed" yourself to the point of near coma. Hold on for dear life and SCREAM!!!

NOTE: This will only work if said rancher actually lives on the property. Otherwise you will just be laughed at hysterically by a herd of mooing cows and calves before YOU run through the fence!

While doing the chant in the middle of his orchard, stick an arrow through a thoughtfully and legally worded offer for his land with your contact numbers attached and into a tree. He will NEVER guess it was you and will most likely fear you have "connections" and sell cheap! This may be easier if you have a hammer and tacks available as backup to the arrow theory depending on your level of incoherency.

K-I-A

J Swan

Sep. 26, 2005, 01:58 PM

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mzpeepers

Sep. 26, 2005, 02:02 PM

Dear Know-It-All (and Erin),
Considering that, thanks to this thread, I've been laughing so hard for the past couple of days that my sides hurt and I'm having a terrible time holding down liquids as I seem to spew said liquids out of my nose in uncontrollable fits of suppressed laughter, I move that this thread be added to the Favorites Forum. That is, of course, after Know-It-All dispenses all of us with more advice on training techniques, as well as veterinarian advice.
Respectfully yours,.
mzpeepers
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Snap

Sep. 26, 2005, 02:05 PM

Dear K-I-A,

I am so happy to have found your expert advice! I have this horse that was given to me by my friend. She is a 18h GV who is in foal to a gorgeous little welch pony. I am planning on the foal being perfect so I can give it to my little niece who has ridden once on a pony ride. She has the best natural ability!

Now, what sort of supplements should I have the mare on now? I hear she was on nothing before!!! I must have at least 12 supplements. Plus, she had no shoes on!! What shoes should I put on her to build those feet up? And the foal, how young can I put shoes on him/her?

Also I my self run a little backyard barn and train a couple of borders. I have no idea how to teach a kid but she wants to be a big time Hunter rider, any tips on teaching her?

Phew, sorry for so many questions but I am so happy to have an expert to help me. Well, I know I know a lot, but not everything like you!

bumknees

Sep. 26, 2005, 02:18 PM

Dear know it all
mm no show sheen huh.. crisco is sooo luverly... yeah will send oldest non horsey son out to sniff..
I think I will use the ninja stelth style in the jumping.. That way it wil just sneak up on her and get herz when shez least expects it..After all with her blood lines shez will pick up on the whole jumping thing really fast. And using Ninja style shez will be ready for anything that pops up infront of herz. Oh I'z gots herz paperz back from the superinbred reg today.. herz reg name is izainbredwench. I think shez will reach black belt in no time at all...
Oh yeah I think I am goin to go and gets another horse a stumare so I can become a breeder. I just have to locate her father,brother,uncle got to keep it all in the family and I will just have to set up a web site showing off my beautiful horses should I use the word "WE" on it? After all it is just not me doing this it will be my wonderful non horsie family and of course my beautiful horsies.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 02:50 PM

Dearest Snap,

For me to dispense my wisdom regarding your new horse given to you by your 18hh GV friend, you will have to tell me a bit about it. I'm afraid, if your friend foals, she will want to keep the resulting foal for monetary gain. Which one of you do you think has the foal's best interest in mind? By the way, did she know this Welch pony before their chance meeting or was it a one night stand? That could make the difference in her wanting to keep the foal or give him up.

Again, not knowing what mare you are referring to, I would suggest you use the same supplement technique discussed a few pages back. Pick one supplement for each letter of the alphabet. Administer one, three times each day changing daily. Ex. mon.- Adequan, Tue.-biotin, Wed.-cosequin....

As for the feet. Talk with the nearest ASB breeder about padded shoes. They will know where to get the tallest ones in your area I bet. And the foal will need shoes within the first hour of birth. I would wait to see which parent it most resembles before purchasing any though.

Tons of tips for teaching a big time Hunter rider. First, go get a Western pleasure horse. Then, tack out English. Sit rider as close to center of saddle as possible then leave. Let's face it, even if she falls off, the horse is going so slow she won't be hurt thus suing you and owning your farm. To teach posting, give her a roll of quarters (charge $50 for this lesson) and tell her to got to Wal-mart and ride the mechanical horse until she feels the rhythm. Repeat as necessary.

Good Luck to you.

K-I-A

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 02:57 PM

Dear horseless no more,

I always use the term "we" when referring to "our" horse business because the voices in my head tell me to. Sit down wioth your voices and ask them if they want to be included or not. Have a lawyer draw up a partnership agreement though to avoid a hostile takeover. It will make all the parties involved breathe easier..

I am so glad you got your mare's papers back. I love her name although I think you should call her Splash in the barn. Such an original name.... You really do need to find her son though. THAT would make you a great stallion prospect.

K-I-A

Edited to mention that I just saw the Superinbred Registry's web site. It's so nice to see the horse world taking off in rural Arkansas.

KimPeterson

Sep. 26, 2005, 03:55 PM

Dear Know it all -
My older stallion is not interested in breeding the cow we have here for the latest thing the sport"cowrse", I am sure that the foal (reasonable priced at $48,000 because of my costs involved so far with getting said cow and stallion bred) will be hardy - with a good temperment and of course I am breeding for the Olympic sports (all of them) She has great movement and when I can get her to go with that cattle prod you should see her jump, oh and the horns are a bonus for the schooling ring. Anyway I was thinking of putting a pink skirt and some flowers in her hair ?? to get old Cavaleer interested. Please respond and don't you agree this is the best idea ever! Please critque cows conformation photos if someone with account will post I am thinking Sandro Hit for her next year.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 04:12 PM

Dear KimPeterson,

I think you are giving away the resulting cowhorse at your pricing. For advice on breeding this speciaes, consult the nearest cutting horse breeder. They have been breeding cowhorses for years and have figured out how to refine them. They almost look like horses. I think you should go with a dairy breed to get the height back though. A Holstein would be great. Color and suitability. You could name it Splash. I have always liked that name and have never heard it used! I don't think I would cross this particular cow with Sandro Hit. I think the resulting foal might just be too forward. As far as I've seen, the most common cross for this breed is the Welsh pony. You might check out some along that line. They should sell in the $200,000 price range by the way if you have them riding as a yearling.

All the best.

K-I-A

raff

Sep. 26, 2005, 04:22 PM

Dear-know-it-all,I want to take my imported German Team horse out to compete,he was trained by someone who acquanted him closely with his knees and her knees and does the "Pri"we just call it that now because its so European.
Im having a hard time with the "Pri" and my horse Splash seems to be looking back at me for directions,he doesnt speak English yet and I cant believe its good for his underneck to have his nose so high I can se his eyes,not just his eyelashes(maybe he needs false eyelashes?)He is admirably open in the gullet tho,im confused?!?!Anyway,Uwe told me he is overqualified for WTD?Hey,isnt that the point of me importing him?I like the WDT because the clothes are much prettier,I need to use a tie down,and I want to win.
My problem is,WTD only goes up to the Pre St Horhay(soon to be abbreviated to "the Horge")and I am better than that.Should I put my ego aside and do this for the good of my horse,when I win I would be happy to give the cooler ,which is a sweat stained super xxxxxxlrg wifebeater full of cigarette burns to Katrina victims because im just that kind of a gal!
What do you think?
signed Bobby

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 04:42 PM

Dear Raff,

I don't think your horse is overqualified for WTD. I just don't think he's ready for Pri yet. Just cause you can dress the part, don't make it so. You might think of getting a 24hh, 2,500lb. drafty to carry around your ego though. He may be able to take you to the top, at least to the top of the judge's stand.

I think it is admirable of you for wanting to donate your prize to the victims. I would suggest that you donate the wifebeater to the women's abuse shelter though.

If you insist on trying to work with this horse, You need to get a Mandarin speaking animal communicator to come make peace with him for you since I am sure that is the language he was trained with.

As for seeing his eyes. I'm sure at those times he is asking his pals at the bridge to take a look and give him some extra credit points for his patience and understanding with you, a mere human. Just ask the communicator. Tell him/her exactly what you think he's saying. They will agree with you wholeheartedly.

K-I-A

mzpeepers

Sep. 26, 2005, 05:22 PM

Dear Know It All,

I was wondering if I could bother with one more piece of advice and information.

My 10 months old filly is refusing to jump and I don't know what to do anymore! I tried everything, including the cattle prod!
Following your advice I started at 3' ...do you think that perhaps I should go higher?

I thought about calling the animal communicator and asked the BO to do so but she just sneered at me. Do you think I should change barns?

KimPeterson

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:14 PM

Dear Know it all,
THank you for your advice, I have one other question I have attached a photo of my new Super Impulsion WB this is our first foal, do they score higher for extra movement? Please see my photo and give advice..

pooh

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:20 PM

OMG, Dear know it all- I really needed your help today. Reading your advice has given me so much insight to 3 legged stallions, and teaching kids to jump when they can't stay on through an entire lesson. I do want to know what advice you could give me on my gelding ( that thinks he's a stallion) and shows himself off any time I'm near. Yes, I may be desperate for a guy- but not that bad!! Quite interesting to explain to the youngsters at teh barn http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Do you think I just need to find him a girl friend??

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:23 PM

Dear Willowsend,

Now you are going to have to be patient as I help you weed through these men. Your first assignment is to find the best looking, heavily muscled, tall, dark, and handsome man you can find. Then disregard him. He is obviously gay.

Next pick out a few decent looking, fairly attractive men. (These first few steps can be combined on the same day) Point your horse directly at them and charge. (No screaming this time). If they scream ( This is why you shouldn't scream. You must hearthe pitch of their shrieks), run or otherwise show weakness, disregard them also. If any stand stoically as you careen toward them, smile and make a mental note of them. If morethan one, proceed to the next step.

A few days later, find said pillars of stone and ride buy them at a decent clip. After just passing them, rather gracefully, so as not to dislodge teeth, fall. If one comes to your rescue, choose him. He's the doctor. On the other hand, if the other one retrieves your horse and runs his hands expertly down his legs before inquiring about your well being, dump the Doc and take the Vet. After all, which one costs you more in the long run?

Mzpeepers, Change barns immediately! Your BO should always agree wholeheartedly with you about everything. When you get to your new barn, erect a jumping chute with a minimum of four 4' jumps. Then tie as many plastic bags and aluminum cans to her halter and tail as possible. Lead her to the chute and blast an airhorn behind her as someone pokes her with the cattle prod. Most importantly though, remember to click that clicker like mad. Positive reinforcement is always the best option.

K-I-A

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 06:34 PM

Dear KimPeterson,

I would have to venture that you are crossing Paso Fino blood in with your WB. They must really show off on that Fino board! I would start tying his head down a minimum of 5 hours a day. This can be accomplished by using 4 standard sets of breeding hobbles and a lariat rope. This will help him get the collection he will need next year for the Olympic trials. I would have to say he is a natural born eventer though. What better breed to scramble out of those water hazards?

pooh, I wouldn't get him a mare. Try a gelding. A mini gelding would be best. The kids at the barn need to experience all lifestyles and be more open to alternatives. I'm sure they have seen mares being bred. Help educate the leaders of tomorrow.

K-I-A

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 26, 2005, 07:30 PM

Dear willowsend,

You must first and foremost avoid ALL men that shave more often than you. I have two rules of thumb: first never date a man with larger breasts than me. Secondly, never date anyone that takes longer to get ready than me. If you try to live by those rules, you should be happy.

Always try to avoid the trophy wives/girlfriends as the runners have left their jewels in their lady's pockets before running to avoid bruising. You wouldn't want to damage them now would you? Try to use your horse as a barrier between them so he can only see you. This is where those tricky leg yields come in. Remember, they should have more hair than you but less than your horse!

K-I-A

Stellar

Sep. 26, 2005, 10:41 PM

I cannot believe the sheer brilliance of this thread. I have learned more in this thread than anyone has ever told me. I aspire to be such an acomplished horsewoman.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 06:18 AM

Welcome Stellar! Sit back and soak up the knowledge!

Dear willowsend,

NOW you're thinking! You must have finished reading my book. The only possible glitch in that plan would be devastating though. You see, if the aforementioned male WAS a doctor, he may be too busy trying to call in the hazardous materials team to clean the trophy wife off. After all, he just couldn't stand it if she was blind or disfigured!

But, if he turned out to be a vet, this could also backfire. The scent of the borrowed clicker trained squirting mare could give him warm fuzzies and as he helps his trophy clean up....well you know. Kinda like Mom's apple pie....a warm one....while no one else is home....

K-I-A

FindersKeepers

Sep. 27, 2005, 06:54 AM

Ok so I didn't get to read this all because I'm at work and they have things for me to do today (b@st@rds)so this may have been asked already...

I have an 18 year old OTTB mare that no one wants to lease, so I am thinking about sending her back to the track. I want a racehorse. Her colors are going to be pink and purple and the tripod I keep locked in the shed out back...if he's still alive...will be her jockey. ANyone want part ownership???

will BOSS make her run faster? how about some paprika?

3fatponies

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:00 AM

Dear K-I-A,

I wanted to update you on my boarding/newer, better horse situation, as well as ask some personal questions, since I note that you are also an expert in the romantic arena as well.

First, the horses: I have been calling and emailing the people with the 150hh Friesan stallion, and since you gave me that great advice about using a new barn and fencing as a bargining tool, I have made sure to mention in every message that I will need to do those things(or pay for his board at the local airfield, where they have an empty hanger), so I won't pay more than $1200 tops. After all, only fool goes into a deal without being firm at the outset, don't you think? They have not responded, so I have decided to call them every hour around the clock until they respond. And let me tell you, it has been quite a sacrifice: my housekeeper has been terribly inefficient, since she had to set her alarm and get up every hour to make the call, all night long. I think she is also using this as an excuse for her laziness though, as I don't see why that should effect her ability to do her job. It is just so hard to find good help, but I think I will be forced to call the agency for a replacement and fire her. I do have standards.

I have moved my horse to the new boarding barn, and have come to the conclusion that the old man is as rude as that nasty lady down the street. I carefully explained my blanketing system, in which a 4 degree temp. change requires immediate and drastic action. I labelled all 22 of my blankets so there would be NO excuse for not following through as instructed, and what do I find when I head there today? There has been a 21.3 degree temp. change from last night to today and he was still wearing the SAME blanket!! I don't really care about this horse any more, since he is all used up, but I want to make sure that this idiot geezer gets the system down pat for my newer, better horse. I suppose I am going to have to explain one more time that for $100 a month, I expect better service and if he doesn't provide it, I will put my money into someone else's pocket. Some people just take no pride in their work--it's positively shameful.

I have taken your advice and upped the price on my old, used-up horse to $45k to attract the kind of buyers I would prefer to deal with. I have someone coming today who is new to horses, but looking for an Olympic level mount so she can make the USET team next year. Because I want this sale, I didn't point out that I have been working on that same goal and there wouldn't be room on the team for both of us, but I thought she was rather rude to not consider that any empty spot was mine, not hers. I have given my horse some meds to make him more agreeable, and have an appointment to have his front legs nerve-blocked before she gets here. Ha,ha--the vet thinks we are doing a lameness exam!

Now for my romantic query: my husband has started wearing new suits and cologne to work. I know, I know, with a wife like me, there is no way he would cheat, but I am still concerned about his motivation, especially since I did not approve the suits or the cologne. One of my friends saw him out to lunch with a woman from work, but when I asked him, he said that it was Secretary's Day so that was why they were together. I know at Christmas she was a Senior Partner, but I would imagine that they demoted her to Secretary because she is an eyesore, and refuses to do something about it. She is HUGELY obese--at least a size 10!! Not only that, but she looks OLD--a least 35 or maybe even older, and is rude--at the last office Christmas party, I gently pointed out that bulimia was NOT a medical condition, but a lifestyle choice, and she might want to consider it. I think my subtlety went right over her stupid, fat head, because I saw her eating a cookie later that evening. Now I know that my husband would never be interested in such a fat cow, but I still find myself irritated by the whole thing, even though I am sure that he has just befriended her out of pity, especially now that she has been demoted.

So here is my romantic question for you: should I withhold sex for this offense? I have trained him to a once-a-month schedule, which I feel is MORE than generous, but I feel like I need to punish him, so perhaps I should cut him for a few months? What do you think?

Snap

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:13 AM

Oh Finders! I love the plan to race Bailey again, sounds like a sound investment to me! I'm in on part ownership!

Now, K-I-A,
Your advice is so wise, how exactly did you come to know it all? Who was your trainer because maybe I can go train with him/her and be just like you! Then I could hunt you down at shows so I can steal all of your points!

On the subject of my mare and foal, how dare you question my trainer/friend's sincerity! She may have a house on wheels and only comes into town with a new project horse priced at over $100,000. The mare is a steal she is giving me for free!! She makes me miserable but I can't not be her friend. Or do you think I should leave her??? She assures me the foal was an accident with the pony!

Good tip on the shoes! I have called all the farriers in my area but they all seem to suck! Should I fly my horse out to you??

The niece is being cheeky. She got bucked off the mechanical horse. I got on and charged $30 for a tune up ride. She seems to have her spirits back now that I assured her that in her next lesson she can jump 3' on that western pleasure horse. What is the next step?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:53 AM

Dear FindersKeepers,

First off, Quit that job! Obviously, it's not worth the sacrifices you have to make. Who do they think they are? I suggest you look into becomming a trainer. No fears if you don't have the qualifications. Just charge more. People will flock from distant lands to bring you their horses and children. If you have a unusually slow period, raise your prices.

As for your OTTB, sneding her back to the track is a marvelous idea! (edited to add, so is sending her back) As for the tripod, I would only use him if he is clicker trained. And if you find that he expired out there in the shed, well,all the better! You will find that, after death, the fluid in one's body dissipates thus lowering his weight even more. Strap him on and go!

You need to form a large holding co. for the partnership. I figured loosely that each partner, if you get 20 or so partners, will have to contribute around $10,000. That should get you through her first week of training and care and the entry for the Preakness.

BOSS might help but I suggest you follow the previously mentioned feed and supplement schedules but double the amounts: Free choice sweet feed, 16% this time, and one supplement for each letter of the alphabet/per day but increase the dosage to 6 times a day. Avoid the paprika if you can find another supplement beginning with P. It will more than likely show up in the urine tests when you win. Failing that, you might allow willowsend into your partnership at a reduced rate. She has access to that clicker trained spraying mare that you could use to substitute samples from.

3fatponies, Time to turn up the heat on the people marketing the Fresian stallion. Hire another person from the agency to begin emailing them. A minimum of 50 times an hour is advised. Make sure they know your offer stands. If they still fail to respond, Google them. I'm sure it will show their address and credit card numbers or at least their dead relatives. Track them down and use the same Indian spirit approach as willowsend was advised to use.

Make sure you keep your vet on your side concerning the used-up horse. Each time you get a prospective buyer, call him up. NQR seems to be the term that will get you the most drugs without pinpointing any one issue! Why not nerve him and take him to the trails yourself though?

I'm afraid your husband is stepping out on you. I would NOT wihthold sex. On the contrary, I would require him to perform three times daily. If he can't keep up(no pun intended) ask the agency to replace him also! The other solution that comes to mind though is to buy a colt from the nearest sale barn. You can get one for about $50. Have your vet out during a dinner party to which you have invited your husband and his "secretary". Have the housekeeper set up a nice garden party then have the groom lead said colt to the lawn for gelding. Smile sweetly at your husband. Make sure to serve loud food such as lobster or crab legs for maximum effect.

Snap, Trainer? Why I taught myself all I know! I am trademarked also so stealing my knowledge is not allowed! Points? Why I don't show. Too political!

No, don't fly your horse out here. Take him to Detroit. There are tons of metal workers there that can build whatever you wish!

After jumping 3' successfully, I would suggest that you get her a mule. The mule will tell her if she can really ride or not. Tell her to watch those ears though. A flappy mule is a happy mule! If they stop flopping those ears, watch out!!!

K-I-A

Cherry

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:54 AM

Geeze, if this thread isn't evidence that we need an "Off-Topic Day" I don't know what is! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

I'll ask again--Erin, "Off Topic Day", please!!!!

nettiemaria

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:01 AM

Dear Know It All:

I think if there was ever a breed that deserved to be labeled - evil and crazy, that would be a Paint. Do you think there is such a thing as breed-related evilness, and if so, am I correct in my devine and all-knowing knowledge? If so, what do you think made Paints such evil horses? Color specific? Tobiano, Overo? Which one is more crazy?

Thank you (Mr.http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif Know it All!

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:01 AM

Dear Cherry,

We are SO on topic! I ask you to find a post here that doesn't pertain to horses. This is an inforamative thread! Hpfh! Off Topic!!!

K-I-A http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:08 AM

Dear nettiemaria,

I find no breed to be evil...well except for those minis. They kinda give me the creeps. I have found though that Appaloosas, and Paints are more prone to sport attitude problems. Let's face it though. Wouldn't you have a chip on your shoulder if you weren't sure what color your were? Seriously! The one that the animal communicator told me about that sticks out in my mind though is the horse that did very well at the top ranks of the WTD shows. He is a black and white Paint. His left side is black with a blue eye and right side is white with a black eye. His name is Michael. He is a quiet horse but people expect the worst from him all the time.

K-I-A

bumknees

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:30 AM

OOOHHHH KIA,
After some exaustive search of 36 hrs of my fillycolts blood lines I located herz father,brother,uncle grandpa. wow what a looker he is and got hims for a song . As soon as I can ill post a picture of this wonderful horse. His sisrother was thrilled to see him and got right down to business...
Do you think keeping them in the same stall over night might help in the breeding program I am setting up.. thinking if anything like cats for every time they do the wild thang another baby is done so if 3 days in the same stall in a week I should be expecting at least 7 babies all at once. Do you think when the babies arrive I should start breaking them to jump in the first 6 weeks of life? or should I start sooner?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:49 AM

Dear horseless no more,

Wow, you spent a TON of time searching for your fillycolt's family. I Would recommend keeping them locked up in that stall until the resulting foals arrive so he is sure to breed her back on her foal heat. You wouldn't want to waste a year off now would you? Make sure the stall is no more than 10'x10' though. At foaling time, move them all into the family birthing suite. Make sure to invite all the friends and neighbors over for the party.

6Weeks is a little late to be satrting the O/F training. They should be able to jump in and out of the 4' stall for nursing and play time by then so they are more than ready for more training. Make sure you use that clicker and a fire extinguisher if they aren't fast enough about it.

Congratulations on your new addition!

K-I-A

KimPeterson

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:58 AM

Dear Know it all,
I am going to Devon soon and wanted to know if I should bring photos of my new "Cohrse" and super impulsion warmblood to show the stallion owners as they frantically try to get ready for their class, I think I should stand by the in gate but want advice on the best way to make sure they take notice...also should I shout loudly at the side of the ring about how much better my super impulsion 8 to 6 leg blood moves?? (we haven't inbred enough to anchor in the 8 legs yet and still get 6 legged throwbacks that we sell cheaper because of the less movement)

horse_poor

Sep. 27, 2005, 09:43 AM

I am concerned that Pocket Trainer is NOT going to like Know-It-All one bit... http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/no.gif

mzpeepers

Sep. 27, 2005, 10:51 AM

Dearest Know It All,
I can't thank you enough for the wonderful advice!
After I changed barns (And a fine place this new one is! A dream! A bit pricey at $75.00 per month but they promised to take good care of my girl as the board includes free choice hay and supplements 5 times a day and money is not an object whe it comes to my horses), I was able, with the help of the new BO, to apply your revised clicker training methods and jump my filly 4' with absolutely no problem! She seemed to resent the airhorn a bit (or was it the cattle prod? Surely it wasn't the plastic bags and coffee cans hanging from her tail...What do you think?) but the positive reinforcement from the clicker made all the difference!
Since she is showing so much propensity for jumping, I decided to back off the dressage training a bit so I'm planning to go PSG in two months instead of the previously planned 3 weeks. Wouldn't want to burden the little thing ya know?
I'm also happy to report that, following your priceless advice, I decided not to buy the 15.5 sabino stallion for my grandson and bought a 17.8 3 yrs old OTTB stallion instead. I figured that, since both the horse and my grandkid are the same age, they'll have a wonderful time growing up together, plus I wont have to replace the stallion too soon since he's a bit taller than the one I originally considered and my grankid won't outgrow him in the next six months.
What do you think of my choice?

nettiemaria

Sep. 27, 2005, 11:02 AM

Dear Willowsend and Know it all:

Wow! You rode your black horse in the dark running cows in the fence at night with no reins and bareback! Doesn't that only take 2 minutes to train the horse to do that? Which cue do I use?

I want to do it too! Sounds like SO MUCH FUN, all that trust and LOVE. I can send you my neighbors' buried guinea chickens bones that somehow ended up on my property if that will help you. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 11:57 AM

Dear Nettie Maria,
I'm sorry to disapoint but it actually took us more like 3 1/2 minutes to train for our ride; if you do want to try it be sure not to wear a helmet as it can ruffle the peacock feathers of your mardi gras mask or your long flowing, beached blonde tresses. Thank you for your kind offer of the guinea hen bones but I will have to decline them as in order to get the local Indian tribe to help me out I must have Amazon sized bones for them to claim ownership of as they have issues with acknowledging that their ancestors really were pigmies, you know how they have nonpigmy envy. I've made a deal with them to share in the revenue of casino gamblng once I get my hands on the property, as it will enable me to fund my new Bareback Back Stallion Night Rider training business I thought up. You are welcome to sign up for our first clinic with the world reknowned Know-it-All, for the mere sum of $15,000 per ride, 10 day minimum. Please Pm me for details , and we accept cash only, no OTTB's.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:02 PM

Dear Kim Peterson,

I really think that Devon would be a great venue to market your horses. I wouldn't stand near the in gate though. Let's face it, you will only get to talk with the handlers there and what do they know? They are just over paid grooms. The place you want to be is in the wash racks. THAT is where you will find all the action!

As for standing ringside and shouting loudly, don't bother. DO though make friends with a photographer to gain clearance INTO the ring then loudly begin to discuss each horse's faults and how much they could improve on their breeding program with one of your SIWBs.

K-I-A

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:21 PM

Dear horse-poor,

I am sorry to hear of possible dislike for me but when you know all, you get used to it. It's lonely up here! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Willowsend, I said INDIAN not The villiage people meet Zorro! And a BLACK hors none the less. I am disappointed! The carrot stick was acceptable though. I am sure that is the only reason your horse jumped the cattle guard for you in the first place. However did you get out after leaving the stick behind?

Maybe you want to think ahead a little? Now if you advise the local Indian tribe of a possible burial grounds, you will NEVER have the land you covet! Get cattle bones from the packing house and sprinkle them randomly then call the ASPCA to report abuse and neglect. This will need to be accompanied by a visit to the farm again to dump ALL water from the troughs and cut down all the trees that would otherwise be considered shelter.

mzpeepers, I thank you for your update! It sounds like everything is working out. I am truly glad that you decided against that tiny 15.5hh horse and opted for one he won't outgrow so soon. If it appears in a few years that your grandson may be growing too tall for this horse, maybe the 150hh Fresian stallion 3fatponies is bargaining for may fit him in a few years.

K-I-A

nettiemaria

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:23 PM

Dear Willowsend:

How about a five legged pony that likes to go for piggy-back rides? Hesa beginner's pony!

nettiemaria

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:30 PM

Dear Willowsend:

I could also throw in some free buffalo - just arrive at my neighbor's fence at 3:10 a.m., bring a big trailer, a 44, and be sure and turn off the lights on your truck. If you need them, the offer's there for training me how to ride like that. Wow!

Sure you just won't give up the cue? It would make everything so much easier.

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:36 PM

Dear Know-it+All,
What, didn't I mention that I was singing "YMCA" as I jumped the cattle guards? I'm so sorry my improvisation did meet your expectations, you are so right about the indian bones being a bad idea, I am making a trip to the slaughter house today, to pick up carcasses as per your plan. Do you happen to know if they make chain saws with silencers on them for me to cut down all the trees with, as I wouldn't want to rouse his suspicions. I take it the bag pipes are out, too ?

nettiemaria

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:45 PM

Dear Willowsend:

I just found this picture, it must be you with the way you describe it!

http://store1.yimg.com/I/carenginecare_1864_2112018

Wow!

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:46 PM

Dear Nettiemaria,
Thank you so much for the offer of the buffalo bones. I must run that idea through Ms/Mr Know-it-All, as I seem to have goof on plan, last night. Wouldn't a 50mm be better? As for the lessons, unfortunately I cannot offer them to you for free as I don't want to get into copyright infringement problems with Know-it-All and lummox her upcoming deal with I-tunes to sell lessons at $.99 a word. I must maintain my professional courtesy, as well as think about my host venue fees. You may send you $50,000 down payment for the upcoming clinic via cashier's check or direct wire transfer to the account of YuppieHorseTrainingSeminarsIncorporated at HorseWhisperersBank (FDIC).

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:53 PM

Dear Nettiemaria,
Where did you find that old picture of me? Here is a pic from one of our recent camping trips http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b320/kripplekreekranch/vs32.jpg

Snap

Sep. 27, 2005, 12:58 PM

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Umm I was NOT expecting that! WOW....

mzpeepers

Sep. 27, 2005, 01:00 PM

Dear Willowsend,

I see that Know-it-All suggestions on how to catch a man worked wonders! What a nice picture!
Now you really MUST listen to her step by step instructions regarding that land acquisition project! Why, listening to her step by step instructions on ALL subjects has changed my life!!

KimPeterson

Sep. 27, 2005, 01:15 PM

Imagine the chafing...at least the lady is wearing boots, I am sure Know it all told her the advantages to wearing boots when riding "close contact"......

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 01:21 PM

Yes, Know-it-All's wonderful advice has changed my life, too. I decided to forget worrying about what to wear and just wear my dress boots, a much more professional, yet, casual, come-hither look, and you can see the results! The hikers were just shoving their So's into ravines faster than I could count!
Thank you know-it-all, I am planning on naming my first stud/filly/buffalo/WB after you!

Sansena

Sep. 27, 2005, 02:27 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Your first assignment is to find the best looking, heavily muscled, tall, dark, and handsome man you can find. Then disregard him. He is obviously gay. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I KNOW better than to try and drink anything when I'm reading the 'Off Course' forums here...

**blotting soda off my keyboard with my sleeve**

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 02:45 PM

Dear willowsend,

Alright then. As long as you were paying homage to the VP your plan went okay. Any counter offers yet? They do not make silencers for chain saws but you could always pick up nettiemarie's buffalo and turn them loose, starting a stampede, knocking down all trees. Use the bag pipes to tame the wild beasts whilst in transport.

Oh and all I can say about your camping trip is that I hope those were YOUR saddles and that you don't pay someone else to clean them! You forgot the number one naturist rule though, ALWAYS BRING A TOWEL! Since stealing your new SO's running clothes at the park t ouse on the wild ride, he seems to have settled into the big picture. Although I am a little disappointed at how small his blue dot is. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/sadsmile.gif

K-I-A

YankeeASB

Sep. 27, 2005, 03:01 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by horsesourcetexas:
Although I am a little disappointed at how small his blue dot is. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/sadsmile.gif

K-I-A </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

bumknees

Sep. 27, 2005, 03:26 PM

how do you post links? I have two luverly pics of my beasties and when I cut and paste or rather try to I cant get it to work...
Think I figured it out.. hol on a sec...
http://www.dillongallery.com/The_Horse_2000/Storrs/Futu...0_x_5_x_19_large.jpg (http://www.dillongallery.com/The_Horse_2000/Storrs/Future_horse_2000_20_x_5_x_19_large.jpg)

this is my fillycolts dadbrounclegranpa

raff

Sep. 27, 2005, 04:22 PM

Dear KIA,Hi,this is Raff again.Bobby is taking Splash back to Tianamen Square where he can put his famous"immobility" to good use(to be dismissed in a WTD Horge after 35mins in a perfectly sustained halt,dont these judges know WTD at all?I was so embarrassed,well not really,I know im right,but !?!).
Bobby ruined that horse,owners should never be allowed to ride the horses,im just so kind hearted though that I did allow the one little sit,all that immobility,whats another bum in the saddle,right,but apparrently it RUINED Splash permanently http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif Im so sad,anyway http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gifI offered him the viking funeral which would have been a lovely affair but I think you are correct,he stared at the sky,and can you believe it,the animal communicator tells me he was saying "take me now"or"I hate this cow"the temerity.
So anyway,hes gone sailing back to China,with Bobby at the helm it should be an interesting trip.
Since horse sailing might take a while to get them back to China ive been looking for a nice book or two for Bobs (thats nice isnt it,Bobs over the ocean waves)
So far ive found "Stallions who love too much and the grooms who fear them" "Evil Mares,nature or nurture" and "My View From The Rail"the life and times of Pocket Trainer.Is your book out yet DKIA?
Does anyone have any recommendations?
Yours in precious moments Raff
ps i dont know when ill be free to get back to look at any replies so please send any ideas over to my place by Shanks Pony,the excercise will be good for your core strength http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

3fatponies

Sep. 27, 2005, 05:33 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by horsesourcetexas:
3fatponies, Time to turn up the heat on the people marketing the Fresian stallion. Hire another person from the agency to begin emailing them. A minimum of 50 times an hour is advised. Make sure they know your offer stands. If they still fail to respond, Google them. I'm sure it will show their address and credit card numbers or at least their dead relatives. Track them down and use the same Indian spirit approach as willowsend was advised to use.

Make sure you keep your vet on your side concerning the used-up horse. Each time you get a prospective buyer, call him up. NQR seems to be the term that will get you the most drugs without pinpointing any one issue! Why not nerve him and take him to the trails yourself though?

I'm afraid your husband is stepping out on you. I would NOT wihthold sex. On the contrary, I would require him to perform three times daily. If he can't keep up(no pun intended) ask the agency to replace him also! The other solution that comes to mind though is to buy a colt from the nearest sale barn. You can get one for about $50. Have your vet out during a dinner party to which you have invited your husband and his "secretary". Have the housekeeper set up a nice garden party then have the groom lead said colt to the lawn for gelding. Smile sweetly at your husband. Make sure to serve loud food such as lobster or crab legs for maximum effect.
K-I-A </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Dear K-I-A,
Thank you for your advice, but considering Willowsend's interpretation of the Indian Spirit approach, I think perhaps I will instead make my housekeeper make her hourly offers for the Friesan stallion in person, rather than letting her continue to slack off by calling. Then, if they do not respond, I will make her enact Willowhead's approach, only while riding a donkey bareback. I am still angry with the way she whines about being tired, as if eight one-hour naps aren't a good night's sleep.

Though I find it hard to believe that any husband would cheat on a wife like me, especially with that size-10 whale at the office, I suspect that it may be true. Since he hasn't reached the wage potential I expected when I married him, I would much rather just get a new husband.

However, I am concerned that the tension between us is getting to my children. I was on my way to see Lars, my personal trainer(before my Botox appointment), when I received a phone call from the school. It was terribly annoying. The principle showed no regard for the value of my time and even when I explained how important my appointments were, she refused to allow me to make the nanny meet her instead of me. The rude woman insisted that speaking about my son's welfare was more important than my appointment with Lars! Can you imagine?? Once I got to the school, she launched into some boring lecture about Darren, oops, I mean, Devon's personality. Blah, blah, blah, I was barely able to stay awake while she kept making comments about antisocial personality disorder. Just shows what she knows about kids--Darren was just at a party last week! With all the worry and work in my life already as a mother, I don't know why she would bother me when she didn't even have her facts straight.

Luckily, I know that Darren will be fine, so I am going to start my next-husband hunt right away. I am interested in finding an older, wealthy man who is impotent so that I won't have to actually do anything distasteful and can just shop and order the servants around. Can you suggest some places to look?

I thought about nerving my old, used up horse and taking him on the trail, but I don't like to ride outside of the ring. Only poor people who can't afford rings do that. I think the woman who came to see him will buy him, as it seemed that they had an instant bond. She didn't end up riding him, because he was sleeping when she got there, so she just groomed the side facing up. She was really taken with how quiet he was! I don't even think she noticed when I poked him in the eye by accident and he didn't even blink. Come to think of it, that's not at all like him--do you think I should send my housekeeper to check on him tomorrow? I would go, but I have a liposuction consult, and I am sure that he will be fine once he gets some rest.

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 05:45 PM

Dear Know-it-All,
I know, I was rather disappointed with the size of the first one's one blue dot and decide I could do better, so I decided to try again, of course this one http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b320/kripplekreekranch/fab_on_a_horse.jpg is a vain Italian, but, I'm just starting to get the hang of this and after all is is a weekday and by the time the weekend rolls around I should be able to catch some really big (oops I mean good) ones.
Nettlemarie, in trade for the loan of your buffalo, I will give you one of my beginner, level one, correspondence course techniques, which is to use your carrot stick and play the friendly games to the point of boring your horse into a coma/stupor, at which point you can do just about anything with him but jump cattle guards in the dark, while chasing cows. Just be sure to continue to chant "Ohm-ni-oh-patandlinda" 7000 times, to be sure your horse does not come to.

mzpeepers

Sep. 27, 2005, 06:25 PM

Dear Willowsend,
I'm a little miffed that you would disregard an Italian man as "vain" and not appreciate the fact that the typical Italian attitude is due to the enormous size of the blue dots they carry. Why, everyone know that Italians not only have substantial blue dots but also incredible stamina and fantastic sensitivity! Oh wait....I am Italian...i was married to an Italian...please disregard. Good luck on your search.

3fatponies...the nerve of your housekeeper!!! I would just fire her on the spot and report her to the INS!!! Of course, that's after she enacts Willowsend's Insian/Zorro/Village People-like ceremony.

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 06:27 PM

Dear Know-it-All,
I do have another question for you. I would like to know just what is so special about the new $400 helmets that makes them the new fad in DQwear? I mean, they don't even come in Louis Vuitton or Channel patterns or anything, so why in the world would I want to spend that kind of money on a silly hat that will still give me helmet hair, when I can ruin a perfectly good $75 one with my frequent sommersault dismounts and have money left over for the payments on my new bareback riding boob job? Inquiring minds want to know!

raff

Sep. 27, 2005, 06:41 PM

Well,since everyone seems stunned into silence by my wit and modesty ill share some more titles with you.Dont worry,im used to silent admirers!One day ill tell you about the time my dear friend Famous Trainer was silenced to tears when I helped him out when he was failing to teach the "Team" correctly.
Anyway,enough about me me me (no,dont say there can NEVER be enough http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/uhoh.gif )
On to the publications
Guidelines From The Sidelines,by Anyone and Everyone.
Dressage Truths;.....yes your bum does look big in that;because you are stupid and lazy;more whip and spurs!
Classical Dressage Debate;......I know you are I said you are;but what am I?
Dreassage Algorithms;.....a dry tome,recommended for insomniacs,but with a surprisingly enthusiastic personal excerpt re fly fishing by Heiner Heiener Boomboom.
anyone read any of these,will Bobbo like them?

mzpeepers

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:12 PM

Dear raff,
please do share your story about your friend Famous Trainer! I'm always humbled by knowledge and experience.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:30 PM

Dear horseless no more,

Your new stallion has the most beautiful long neck and legs I think I've ever seen. No wonder you just had to have him! How is he bred?

raffy dear, The animal communicator told my horse that your horse was really saying "How's the Dow". He is ready to invest his winnings immediately according to her. She also gave my horse some tips. Martha ain't got nuttin' on Nubbins.

My book, All I know, I Taught Myself is available, although I wouldn't recommend it for sailing. The sheer weight of my compiled knowledge would surely sink the horse.

3fatponies, You might meet up with Willowsend for her evening rides. Aim for one of the bicycle riders if you want impotent.

Also, you may want to send the housekeeper out tomorrow to check on the horse. Have the gardener prepare a rose garden in advance though. You will need something to cover up the smell. Better yet, hire a great divorce lawyer and "allow" hubby to have said horse in return for the house. He of course, knows how much it means to you so will be happy to take him from you. DO NOT lose this bargaining chip! In that case, have the gardener plant extra roses ASAP.

willowsend, MUCH BETTER!!!! Are you sure of his preferences though? He looks like the type I warned you about.

And, after seeing the size of YOUR blue dots, I say skip the $400 helmet until the boob job is paid in full. The only difference between you and the DQ's are that they already had their's done and can afford a $400 helmet now. I mean why else would they all be riding around, stiff as boards, with their chests stuck out?

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:44 PM

Dear Know-it-All,
I think you're right as regard to today's preferences, I merely wanted to show you that I am not planning on settling for inferior specimens
<edited to remain GP rated >
and I see your point about the stiff as boards DQ's, I wonder if their silicone hardened in the tanning beds, as I surely do not want to limit my agility in and out of the saddle, you know (wink). I think I should go with the saline implants, as, should I end up on a long, hard ride, I can always use them for emergency rehydration or flotation devices, don't you think?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 27, 2005, 07:55 PM

Dear willowsend,

If you chose to go with the saline implants, I strongly recommend that you invest in two of the aforementioned $400 helmets. PROTECT YOUR INVESTMENTS!!! With your dual purpose appendages, you might even think about endurance riding.

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:07 PM

Dear Know-it-All,
Oh dear, I so hoped to avoid those trendy new helmets, maybe I should postpone the implants and use pads, as they could come in if my horse gets a stone bruise.

Galloway

Sep. 27, 2005, 08:19 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by mzpeepers:
Dear Willowsend,
I'm a little miffed that you would disregard an Italian man as "vain" and not appreciate the fact that the typical Italian attitude is due to the enormous size of the blue dots they carry. Why, everyone know that Italians not only have substantial blue dots but also incredible stamina and fantastic sensitivity! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is this what they mean by "Blue Dot Special?"

eventable

Sep. 27, 2005, 11:46 PM

Dear K-I-A

I was most educated and enlightened by your man-hunting hints. Unfortunately I am currently on barn rest and unable to ride. Is there some other horseless way of catching a man? Since I am currently unable to ride, I am very worried I will forget how to post correctly.

Also, my current horse has filed for divorce. That's OK because I have a 46hh gypsy vanner fillygelding I bred myself which I will ride. It's called Splash. Unfortunately Splash doesn't go forward very well. My BNT suggested I tie my cat to a big stick and get him to wave it at Splash's hind end when we're schooling to make Splash go forward. Should I have the cat declawed first? Also, would it be better if we used my pedigree Siamese, or should we go get a street cat from the shelter?

Thank you in expectation of more stellar advice.

BuffaloBob

Sep. 28, 2005, 12:04 AM

Dear Eventable,
Have you read Know-it-All's tips for getting your horse to move forward by using an airhorn or a fire extinguisher? I do believe it is even more effective than the method of choice used by a previous California Dressage Society Adult Amateur Clinician, who loves to throw bottles of water at the horses (along with the occasional cup of coffee), which is most effective, although you must be careful of your horse jumping out of the arena. I would think though that the airhorn would be more suited to the size of your 46hh gypsyvanner fillygelding, as, unless you were to throw gallon size water bottles your horse will only assume it is a pesky horsefly and ignore it (plus you may develop a rotoator cuff tear from repeated overhand tossing of gallons of water). I found that visiting your local yacht harbor after hours is a wonderful way to shop for airhorns, as there is an abundance of them just lying around, along with plenty of extra lunge line, should need any.

raff

Sep. 28, 2005, 01:25 AM

Staying determinedly off topic and conducting a conversation with me myself and I;
more book recommendations; http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif
Winning Is Everything,bon mots from over the shoulder by Andi Vunsumthun;rider and trainer of World Champion "Pants On Fire"
Winning Is Nothing;authored by Sellmia Bock,quote "if you cant ride it in a pelham and you dont need a seat protector its not classical"!
Hair I Am,Dressage for the new Millenium,writer Dominant Barber......you need never have another bad hair ride,this method allows you to do whatever blows your hair back!Dominant avoids the stiff linear competition style,and has enough hair for the fussiest rider,hair both equine,humine,facial and so forth G rated hair blows attractively in all directions as Barbers magnificent fillygelstallions prance proudly sideways out of shot!

BuffaloBob

Sep. 28, 2005, 01:28 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by raff:
Staying determinedly off topic and conducting a conversation with me myself and I;
more book recommendations; http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif
Winning Is Everything,bon mots from over the shoulder by Andi Vunsumthun;rider and trainer of World Champion "Pants On Fire"
Winning Is Nothing;authored by Sellmia Bock,quote "if you cant ride it in a pelham and you dont need a seat protector its not classical"!
Hair I Am,Dressage for the new Millenium,writer Dominant Barber......you need never have another bad hair ride,this method allows you to do whatever blows your hair back!Dominant avoids the stiff linear competition style,and has enough hair for the fussiest rider,hair both equine,humine,facial and so forth G rated hair blows attractively in all directions as Barbers magnificent fillygelstallions prance proudly sideways out of shot! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
raff, excuse me for asking, but upon reading your propensity for certain kinds of book recommendations, might I assume you either swing both ways or are a transvestite dressage queen?
I'll bet you have a friesian, don't you!

BuffaloBob

Sep. 28, 2005, 01:41 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by willowsend:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by raff:
Staying determinedly off topic and conducting a conversation with me myself and I;
more book recommendations; http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif
Winning Is Everything,bon mots from over the shoulder by Andi Vunsumthun;rider and trainer of World Champion "Pants On Fire"
Winning Is Nothing;authored by Sellmia Bock,quote "if you cant ride it in a pelham and you dont need a seat protector its not classical"!
Hair I Am,Dressage for the new Millenium,writer Dominant Barber......you need never have another bad hair ride,this method allows you to do whatever blows your hair back!Dominant avoids the stiff linear competition style,and has enough hair for the fussiest rider,hair both equine,humine,facial and so forth G rated hair blows attractively in all directions as Barbers magnificent fillygelstallions prance proudly sideways out of shot! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
raff, excuse me for asking, but by your bent for certain topics of book recommendations, might I assume you either swing both ways or are a transvestite dressage queen?
I'll bet you have a friesian, don't you! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

raff

Sep. 28, 2005, 02:55 AM

Dear Willowsend,you are impertinent!
One swings no further than having a rail firmly implanted in ones blue spot area allows!!!One cannot speak for ones friends however.
Friesians are very pretty,but rather too close to their working origins for someone as brand concious as I,not to mention weak legged as I.
You will more likely see me mounted ,quaking,yet proud, upon one of the current souped up Modern Warmbloods!They are modern in that they deny all attempts at the installation of manners and calm,preferring instead to crash wildly and noisily about and through like todays young people.More muscle/less brain,Splash is breathtaking http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
This horse is recently thawed,bright in colour,and has a beautiful tail,and the adrenaline my dear,you have never seen adrenaline like it.
He is wild in the way of a talented athlete confused by the ineptitude of his bouncing partner,but rather moderated by the ministrations of a worried(and potentially liable vet((yes Dr **** I DO mean you))
I must assume you are new to dressage if you believe anyone with a serious dressage education has the slightest interest in,what do they call it?Sex?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 28, 2005, 07:24 AM

Dear willowsend,

May I suggest no-bows then? So much more comfortable and safety concious! I would hate for you to bow a breast tendon while repeating your Villiage people meets Zorro tactics.

Galloway, thanks to willowsend sending me the gentleman in question, I found that Italian's blue dot to be QUITE special. Unfortunately, it was not attached to a brain of equal size!
It was quite the toss up but the final straw was when he forgot where he was going on his way to MY blue dots that did it! MY trophy at least has to be well trained and perform!

Dear eventable, There are clubs that will allow you to bring your saddle and whip to practice your posting. That may be your best bet since you have found yourself horseless right now. You can find these clubs online under "swingers". They must be talking about their style of mounting. They sure wouldn't place in the hunter ring. You are never supposed to swing into the saddle....step up, pause, then slowly mount. Watch your form, and don't fall prey to their style but you can at least practice that posting.

All thos BNT's have that quick fix answer. Can you show with said cat on a stick? NO. You can of course use the airhorn or fire extinguisher. It even has a dual purpose; you can have someone ringside to blow it when you need to really MOVE and it will unnerve the other horses/riders that have, for some reason, decided not to follow my advice.

Raff, what can I say? You appear to be holding your own conversation with yourself. Enjoy and continue on! Do you really have a blue spot implant though???

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 28, 2005, 08:09 AM

Dear Know-it-All,
What a wonderful suggestion! And those nobows will come in quite handy should I come across another Italian blue dot special on trail. Wouldn't want to get twigs in my hair, now would - wink ;-)

mzpeepers

Sep. 28, 2005, 08:54 AM

Dear Know It All,
since your infinite wisdom extends to matters of the hart, I'd like to ask you a non-horse related question.
My latest conquest has expressed the desire to terminate the relationship. Something about the horses being more important than him...silly boys...when will they learn?
Naturally, I'm not going to let that happen. I can terminate a relationship at any time but I will not allow any man to tell me what to do!
So here's my question. Should I just tell him that leaving is not an option or should I pretend to put him ahead of the horses for a couple of days and then dump him?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 28, 2005, 09:10 AM

Dear willowsend,

silly rabbit! That's what the naturalist towels are for! Make sure they are made of recycled materials though.

mzpeepers, Putting a mere human ahead of your horse is unacceptable, even for a moment! I say lock him in the tack room for as long as it takes to remove all of his belongings from your house. Build a bonfire in your front yard using said belongings and invite the local boy/girl scout troops to roast weenies and smores. Return to the tack room and tell him you would like one final fling for old times sake. As soon as you get him stripped down(cause men are dumb that way), take his clothes and run, depositing them into the bon fire meanwhile screaming that you told him things are over with you but you never expected him to find comfort with your mare! That will teach him to try to dump you!!!

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 28, 2005, 09:16 AM

Dear Know-it-All,
re. your advice for Mzpeepers, brilliant! If only more horsewomen knew this!
I am going out ahunting (I mean trail riding) today. I am concerned with getting odd tan lines with my nobow breast pads, do you have any ingenious suggestions for me to help enhance my allure (origami or napkin folding) or should I just dispense with them completely before venturing on the trail?

mzpeepers

Sep. 28, 2005, 09:30 AM

Dear Know it All,
Thank you so much, once again your wisdom is astounding!
I was wondering....instead of the scouts, would it be ok if I was to invite the local 4H horse project group? That way, on top of roasting weenies and smores we could possibly do a re-enactment of some ancient tribal ritual involving galloping horses, to further reiterate the fact that horses come first no matter what.
Should I contact Willowsend and ask her for a diagram/chart of her Village People/Zorro war dance or do you have something that is more apt to this particualr occasion? Should I include airhorns to enhance the drama of the ceremony?

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 28, 2005, 09:48 AM

Dear willowsend,

Tan lines are appalling! For your next veture onto the trails, leave all but the towel and blue dots at home. Half chaps or dress boots are acceptable also but will leave lines so wear then sparingly.

mzpeepers, the local 4H group would be wonderful. You should contact willowsend for details on the traditional ritual. She has finally completed the highest level and will begin teaching soon. Air horns are a lovely touch but let's not forget thefire extinguishers. I am sure it will also make your former man friend collect and move in a more forward frame.

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 28, 2005, 09:54 AM

Thank you Know-it-All,
I owe everything I know to you (and a 20% franchise fee).
re. collection, I thought that's what ice water was for, but, on thinking, WOW, how about liguid nitrogen?

nettiemaria

Sep. 28, 2005, 10:57 AM

Dear Know It All:

I also took your man-snatching advice, and look what I found!

http://digitaljournalist.org/issue0402/images/mo/099-GeorgeStrait.jpg

Thanks Know It All!

BuffaloBob

Sep. 28, 2005, 11:09 AM

Ooh, well, look what I found http://www.nextmagazine.net/features/img/urbanwowboy.jpg of course also found this one on the trail http://www.nikitablack.com/NinaBruhns/images/hunks/Redhawk1.jpg

3fatponies

Sep. 28, 2005, 07:31 PM

Dear K-I-A,
I just wanted to update you on my horse situation, since your advice has been invaluable. I did sell my old, used-up horse to that lady, which was such a relief, since now I don't have to worry that anyone will see me with him and think less of me! Of course, I am a little concerned that she may try to bring him back, since all he seems to do lately is sleep. Plus, when we went to load him, he refused to even bother getting up and seemed very, very stiff when we winched him into the back of the truck, so I am really glad I unloaded him before I had to start giving him arthritis meds! Besides, I am well rid of him, since he is so uselessly lazy that he never even swished his tail to get rid of the flies that were crawling all over him--I can not abide a filthy, slovenly pig of a horse. But, she did give me my full asking price of $45k, and said that she felt they had a very strong bond already, so after I change my phone number, I doubt I will hear any complaints from her.

I have decided that I am no longer interested in the Fresian, and am going to see another horse tomorrow before I pick up my housekeeper from her overnight stay in the Hospial. It's been very inconvenient for me, but after I made her ride that Donkey bareback for the Indian Ritual, she carried on so excessively that it was easier to drop her off a few blocks down from the Emergency Room, then listen to her annoying shrieking. She was even whining that I should drive her to the door, but that would have made me late for my manicure. I know ruining my day was her real intention, so I refused to give in to her petty jealousy and made her walk from where I parked. It's become very obvious to me that she is NOT a team player, and cares only about herself. After everything that I have done for her, it hurts me to have been used so badly.

Anyway, I am going to see a lovely 27hh dappled appaloosa Nakota WB who has been deemed by "dangerous" by this bigshot horse whisper guy. I think his name is something like John Tiger, or maybe Bear, I don't know, some animal--I can't remember. But since I have purchased all 9 "Inferno Levels" of "Natural Horseman-full-of-ship" videos and have 4 carrot sticks, I know it'll be a piece of cake. Obviously the problem has been that no one with any skill has handled this horse. I think this may be the horse that makes people sit up and notice me, and even though my trainer disagrees(she not only cursed at me when I told her, but she RAISED her voice at me! At ME!! Can you believe it??), I am sure that he will be the perfect mount for me.

raff

Sep. 29, 2005, 01:43 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by mzpeepers:
Dear raff,
please do share your story about your friend Famous Trainer! I'm always humbled by knowledge and experience. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Righto Mzpeepers,since ive a small precious moment,let me recall?
Ah yes "Harry" I said(we are quite informal,though he addresses me in German by my pet name Sheizenhausen,adoreable,it means sit down and share )"Your few words are betraying your lack of knowledge so please allow me" After conducting his training session he expressed his gratitude by declaring "shiezenhausen,I would not take any amount of money to train you!!" and broke into a blush of silence http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif.Now I am considering taking him up on his humble offer of free training,in spite of his few words,as i plan to do all the talking.I am waiting upon a compleated questionaire detailing his qualifications before making a final decision.Understandably he is having difficulty with the depth of the questions which explains the delay http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

BeastieSlave

Sep. 29, 2005, 06:57 AM

[QUOTE]
You will more likely see me mounted ,quaking,yet proud, upon one of the current souped up Modern Warmbloods!They are modern in that they deny all attempts at the installation of manners and calm,preferring instead to crash wildly and noisily about and through like todays young people.More muscle/less brain
QUOTE]

I go away for a few days and come back to find raff has been riding my horse http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Your modern warmblood is no doubt closely related to my heifer!

So, K-I-A can you suggest a good trainer for the heifer? She's 17.1+hh, chestnut, sabino, 5 years old and barely started. She doesn't tie well and has already failed out of one school and been rejected by another. She's really a very nice horse - just misunderstood http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Perhaps raff can hook us up with "Harry"....

eventable

Sep. 29, 2005, 05:50 PM

So I found one of those swingers clubs, but they didn't seem to know what mounting was at all. They were very interested in golf of all things...So I still have no way to practice my posting. I'm thinking maybe I should try some ringside roping instead as it's almost county show time here and I'm sure to spot some hunky farmers to practice on...can anyone recommend the best kind of rope to avoid burning?

mzpeepers

Sep. 29, 2005, 06:06 PM

How about these? Make sure to scream loudly when throwing.
http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Cowboy-Lariat-Ropes-Rope-Western-...QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem (http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Cowboy-Lariat-Ropes-Rope-Western-Team-Roping_W0QQitemZ7715343048QQcategoryZ4013QQssPageN ameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)

If in doubt as to what to wear, I'd recommend these

http://cgi.ebay.com/NIB-Britney-Leather-Butterfly-Inlay...QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem (http://cgi.ebay.com/NIB-Britney-Leather-Butterfly-Inlay-Cowboy-Boots-8-HOT_W0QQitemZ7714733250QQcategoryZ63889QQrdZ1QQcmd ZViewItem)

and this

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-Barrel-Racer-Eddy-Bros-Gree...QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem (http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-Barrel-Racer-Eddy-Bros-Green-Ladies-Cowboy-Hat_W0QQitemZ6805550819QQcategoryZ45235QQrdZ1QQcmd ZViewItem)

You'll be sure to get noticed.

mzpeepers

Sep. 29, 2005, 06:13 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by raff:
[Ah yes "Harry" I said(we are quite informal,though he addresses me in German by my pet name Sheizenhausen,adoreable,it means sit down and share )"Your few words are betraying your lack of knowledge so please allow me" After conducting his training session he expressed his gratitude by declaring "shiezenhausen,I would not take any amount of money to train you!!" and broke into a blush of silence http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah! What a wonderful experience! Thanks so much for sharing!

My old German trainer used to call me wenigwillsein...I think it has something to do with becaming famous one day...I asked him for a translation and I whink he said something like "wanna be"....ahhh...the memories....

mzpeepers

Sep. 29, 2005, 06:16 PM

3fatponies, could you please refer me to the wabsite for the "Natural Horseman-full-of-ship"?
I'm desperately searching for Inferno level 8 and 9 and can't seem to find them!

BuffaloBob

Sep. 29, 2005, 06:23 PM

As you all may have noticed Know-it-All has not been on line lately. Her press secretary asked me to read to you the follow press release:

"The reknown, World Famous, not to be duplicated (patent pending) Ms. Know-It-All (much loved by horsepersons and single women the world over) has been indicted on errroneous charges of money laundering and income tax evasion. She is at present setting these imbecilic public servants from Washington straight on her finances, from her buffahorse ranch in the Cayman Islands.
Please carry on with your questions, and the advanced level associate trainers will help you with your queries."

Thank you.

3fatponies

Sep. 29, 2005, 07:38 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by mzpeepers:
3fatponies, could you please refer me to the wabsite for the "Natural Horseman-full-of-ship"?
I'm desperately searching for Inferno level 8 and 9 and can't seem to find them! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You can order them from http://www.everyoneisanexpert.com or call 1-800-FEEDMELIES. They have really been helpful for me--why in just one year I have earned my "Trainer's Certificate" for buying all the videos and at least two of each product. So for the bargain price of $5999.00, I have experienced an entire lifetime of horse knowledge without ever leaving the couch! And talk about savings! I have saved tens of thousands of dollars, not to mention hours, by not having to take lessons! And the best part is that now I can call myself an expert and know that it means something.

raff

Sep. 30, 2005, 01:20 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by BeastieSlave:
I go away for a few days and come back to find raff has been riding my horse http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Your modern warmblood is no doubt closely related to my heifer!
Well,how uncanny!Indeed our horses MAY be related?
Mine is also chestnut and 17.1hh they must be nearly twinshttp://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Mine has a curly blond tail and two wall eyes,and does medecine hat mean "mad in the head"?
He must always wear a crochet bonnet to keep his brain in and does not tie up for long either.I was told to tie him up securely,so I did,I tied him up so that even if HE was not there when I came back ,his head still would be (as per inferno level 4)
Well,that was useless advice!I came back and the stable was not there and neither was he,he and the stable were practicing "airs" in the pasture,oh well,clearly he loves dressage so much he could not wait for me to return from choosing between his saddles to get started,so SWEET!
His communicator has told me colour and style is more important to him than fit,and I believe it,but how to know if it is a black day,a brown day,or a tan day?
Ive extended the import of colour and style to apply to our partnership,I like his colour and style and will not let my lack of vertical abledness interfere with my passion for true correct classical winning dressage stylings.
The key to finding a suitable trainer is to stick to those who have not yet had a bad crash and view the missunderstood medecine hat warmblood as a challenge rather than a threat! In my experience trainers like these are younger and prettier looking also,a win win situation!
Ta Ta for now Raff

BeastieSlave

Sep. 30, 2005, 05:28 AM

I love "medicine hat"! I have always called the heifer's crocheted bonnet her "stupie hat". I use it to keep annoying bugs from getting into her head and messing with her tiny brain.

The flapping of the little pom poms is also helpful when I ride her because it keeps her distracted. Because her thought process is limited, she is less likely to do anything naughty if she is thinking about flapping pom poms (ie: no brainwaves left over to coordinate bucking).

Yes, I do believe our beasties must be nearly twins! Mine has a long thick tail that is streaked with blond and a small spot on one flank.

Ooooohh, a yonger prettier (more handsome) trainer sounds good! The cowboy trainer that I had before did not look anything like the pictures posted here! Perhaps if he had, the heifer would have enjoyed his attentions more?! I know I would have http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 30, 2005, 11:45 AM

Well, hello all,

She's baaack! I see willowsend has filled you all in on my escapades these last few days. I got it straightened out now. I made them see the truth as told by Know-It-All. I simply told them that there is no way that my money could be laundered! I mean think how many people touch it beforeI finally get it back! Although, that may be another stop for it...the Chinese dry cleaners. At least then I wouldn't have to worry about the germs involved with rerouting it. As for the tax evasion, I showed them the paperwork for my rescue. It says right there in plain ink that I am a 666 DD. NON PROFIT! If I can't make a profit, what am I supposed to pay? They sadi because I was rescuing horses from the feed lots and reselling them for $10,000 and up that I am profitting. I just showed them the BMW, the yacht, the new house, the new indoor arena, and the 300+ stall barn and told them point blank that this is for the horses. I make NO profit. After spending the weekend on the yacht, they agreed. I think we will make this a quarterly affair.

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 30, 2005, 11:54 AM

Dear Know-It-All,
I am so glad you were able to educate those incompetents from Washington. You really should be on the 'Intellegent" ticket for the next election. The world could surely use your knowing-it-all smarts, that is if you multi-task well, as we surely would not want to lose our inspiration and guru.

mzpeepers

Sep. 30, 2005, 11:54 AM

Dear Know It All,
I'm so glad you're back and were able to clean your name of those ridiculous accusations!
Why, anyone who's anyone would know that calling you a money-grabbing/laundering-crook would be unthinkable!!!
I started a website to help with your legal expenses. http://www.chineselaundryhelp.com The donations are pouring in.

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 30, 2005, 12:01 PM

Dearest willowsend,

I am considering running this next election. I figure being from TX, I have a foot in the door already. I have been rehearsing my speech. I would like to try it out on you...."It's not my fault, I didn't do it, everything's fine." How's that for a winning speech?

mzpeepers, thank you so much for starting that web site. Le't talk about how to invest those donations later okay?

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 30, 2005, 12:13 PM

Why, that's wonderful, K-I-A!
And, may I suggest seeing what Dan Quayle is up to these days, as you might be interested in the same assassination insurance.

BeastieSlave

Sep. 30, 2005, 01:17 PM

Dear K-I-A,
I am so pleased that you managed to clear up that unpleasantness! I am most interested in your non-profit status and would appreciate any information you could share about how one might obtain 666 DD status. I am currently 36 D, and while that has been profitable at times, I think it may be time for me to officially make the change to non-profit status.

Onabreak

Sep. 30, 2005, 01:36 PM

I don't want to change the topic or anything but I was wondering if K-I-A is going to run on the Intelligent ticket then can she please get the people in charge to lower the price ulcer meds? I think my mare might have ulcers. Here's her symptoms, tell me what you think:
She never eats her grain. I mean, I get to feed her once a day, and it's really good grain, that 25% protein broodmare stuff and since she's real skinny since I got her back from my used-to-be friend that I free leased her to but they didn't feed her and gave her green water. She just smells her food and paws but won't eat it. She has lots of really tall grass in her pasture and I see her eating it, especially the grass with the pretty yellow flowers. She doesn't seem to like the grass with the white flowers.
Plus her coat is really bleached even though she's got lots of shade in her pasture. WHat can I do to make her stand under the trees? Oh and she's a chestnut. Everyone tells me that that means she must be crazy but I thought that it was just horses with white feet and noses? what do you think?
I mean, I'd post a picture and all but it would be blurry and not me riding her and I don't want to waste K-I-A's time since she's running for office and must be really busy saving the world from hurricane conspiracies.
Hey and please be nice to me even if I don't have 10,000 posts cause mean people might make me cry like that mean BO I used to know.

oh, and I didn't read all the pages in this topic, just the 1st, part of the 3rd, and the last one. But that's okay cause I get everything I need to know from those...

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

horsesourcetexas

Sep. 30, 2005, 02:06 PM

Dear BeastieSlave,

Getting a 666DD isn't all it's cracked up to be. As a matter of fact, it's a real pain in the neck sometimes! I think you should remain with your profitable 36 D status for sure.

Onabreak, I think your mare's problems may be more than ulcers. I would recommend feeding her free choice sweet feed but only every third day aand starting her on the K-I-A supplement schedule (should have been covered on page three so I'm sure you are familiar with it), and utilize the free choice beet pulp trough. You may also try planting her her own garden. Make sure you plant plenty of bright colorful flowers. It will pick up her spirits. But, don't forget the herbs that she would have to choose from were she a wild horse roaming the plains.

As for her coat, making her stand under trees is an impossibility. I would recommend getting her a mobility sling and attaching a roof to it. Being that she's a chestnut and not prone to the crazy antics of white hooved horses, she should do fine with that.

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Sep. 30, 2005, 02:28 PM

Dear Know-it-All,
I didn't know they made rooves for mobility swings, do you think Dressage Extensions carries them?
I am having a problem on forums. You see I demand that someone else translate foreign magazine articles and books for me, as I am too lazy to bother with going to all that trouble myself. After all, if there are FREE internet translators, well, just how good can they possibly be? I much prefer having someone do it the old fashioned way, taking hours out of their time for me, a perfect stranger, because I tell them to.
What is wrong with these people?

mzpeepers

Sep. 30, 2005, 04:30 PM

Dear Know It All,
Could you please tell willowsend that I'm still waiting for her translation of "Farfegnugen - Die fahrende Erfahrung"?
I've been trying to contact her but she won't return my calls....strange...

On that subject, I've just thought of a way to invest the sizeable donations we collected on your behalf to benefit your election campaign.
Details to follow...

raff

Sep. 30, 2005, 05:20 PM

she's a chestnut. Everyone tells me that that means she must be crazy but I thought that it was just horses with white feet and noses? what do you think?
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/QUOTE]
Well,obviously a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.The white foot crazies is geldings,no white feet but one club foot is also crazy,chestnut mare,dont even ask,striped feet?Oh yeah baby.We dont really like to use crazy though,medicine hat or mad head sound somehow perkier,dont you agree?
Is the medicine hat not to keep the buzzing sound in BS(somewhat hilarious when your name is shortened thusly is it not Beastieslave http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif)I thought the buzzing sound was the brain in action?I even added a (small)mouse (humanely) to up the output,but now fear he is running the whole show.Should I send the cat in?
Perhaps splash withdrawing his head to unreachable heights isnt the emergence of "get out of my space"id imagined.What should I do?
PS his ears are stapled together to keep his head out of my face,so it might be hard to get the hat off now?

BeastieSlave

Sep. 30, 2005, 06:44 PM

ROFLMAO!!!!
Dear raff, the heifer actually has more of a rattling sound coming from her big red noggin. I always assumed that something was loose in there and the stupie hat ensures that it doesn't escape.

You should definitely send in the cat if you can't tempt the mouse out with some cheese placed in you fine equine's ears. You can not allow a mouse to run the show? Have you considered replacing it with a hamster? They are very energetic, but not as smart....

Of course whatever you decide to do for rodent removal, you will first need to remove the staples and the medicine hat. I'm sure K-I-A will be able to suggest some drugs to help you with this. I know I couldn't face doing a staplectomy on my own without some primo stuff!

And hey, I can't believe that you only just now have noticed that BeastieSlave shortens to BS! Did you notice that th "B" and the "S" are caps as in: big BS?

raff

Sep. 30, 2005, 06:53 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by BeastieSlave:
ROFLMAO!!!!

Of course whatever you decide to do for rodent removal, you will first need to remove the staples and the medicine hat. I'm sure K-I-A will be able to suggest some drugs to help you with this. I know I couldn't face doing a staplectomy on my own without some primo stuff!

How true,and while you're at it perhaps something for the horse please?

And hey, I can't believe that you only just now have noticed that BeastieSlave shortens to BS! Did you notice that th "B" and the "S" are caps as in: big BS? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Better late than never http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/uhoh.gif

BuffaloBob

Sep. 30, 2005, 09:29 PM

I've heard of pea brains, but rodents? Don't they have exterminators where you come from?
I thought the crochet bonnets were for hiding the earplugs that inferior trainers use, instead of teaching the horses to focus on the rider. Ahh, the little tricks. Such laziness, especially when they can train by satellite, with Know-it-All's certified internet training course. All you need is a lap top and loud speakers. Place the speakers at opposite ends of the arena, log on to your "pay for a trainer" (they take all credit cards and elite stallions as payment) class of choice, and let the trainer take it from there.

horsesourcetexas

Oct. 1, 2005, 11:25 AM

Dear willowsend,

I don't think that Dressage Extensions carry the roof I am referring to. Try Redneck Farriers Plus. They should have them in stock or quickly be able to fashion something for you aot of scrap metal and tin out back.

As for the translation. It is a requirement in section 899 of my book that you learn all horse related words in all horse related languages. Therefore, you of all people shouldn't need the translation. You should be able to fluently discuss anything horsey in 72 different dialects and regional variations of such. That was on the final test if you remember.

Dear Raff, for rodent removal, I would suggest attaching an old fashioned mouse trap to the ears by the hormonal mare staples. The staples now come in designer styles including beaded and hoop. This would be a fine time to implement the ear plugs though. It is also not recommended to set the trap for over fences work lest you become unseated and land between the ears.

K-I-A

BuffaloBob

Oct. 1, 2005, 11:54 AM

Dear Know-It-All,
Test, what test, I bought my degree, or did I have a ringer take the test for me? Details, details, I can't be bothered with them.
I have decided to start a new fashion trend. I am starting a new business. Horse earrings. "Stylish studs, Inc." http://stylishstudsinc.com Now you and your horse can wear matching earrings to coordinated with your choice of fashionable browbands, available at our sister store http://browbaublesforDQs.com

raff

Oct. 2, 2005, 03:02 AM

So good news and bad news.The cat went in,the mouse came out.Now Splash is lying in the sun ,alternately licking his fetlocks and looking at me with glowing, orange ,speculative,eyes.Should I be worried?

martysgirl

Oct. 2, 2005, 06:25 PM

Y'all are cracking me up! I was looking for a place to put this, and I think this may be it!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How Many People Are Needed to Saddle a Horse on An Equine Forum:

One to saddle the horse and post that the horse has been saddled.

Fourteen to share thier experiences about saddling a horse and how it
could have been saddled differently.

Seven to caution about the dangers of saddling a horse.

Seven more to point out the spelling/grammar errors in posts about
saddling a horse.

Five to flame the spell checkers.

Three to correct spelling/grammar in flame posts.

Six to argue over whether it's "saddled" or "under saddle".

Another six to condemn those six as stupid.

Fifteen to claim experience in the saddle industry and to give the
correct terminology.

Nineteen to post that this group is not about saddles and to please take
the saddle discussion to a saddle forum.

Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use saddles
and therefore the posts are relevant.

Thirty-six to debate which method of saddling is superior, where to buy
the best saddle, what brand of saddle works best this technique and what
brands are faulty.

Seven to post URL's to links of examples of different saddles.

Four to post that the URL's were incorrect and then post them correctly.

Three to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
the group which makes saddles relevant.

Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in thier entirety
including all headers and signatures, and add "Me Too!".

One to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
can't handle the stress from the saddle controversy.

Four to say "didnt we go through this already a short time ago?".

Thirteen to say "do a Google search on saddles before posting questions
about saddles".

Eight to prove that falling off saddles is a conspiracy.

Five to say another forum is discussing the same issue and has
completely different ideas.

Three to suggest that problems with saddles actually started during the
Clinton administration, with one saying this is a long term problem that
began when Roosevelt introduced the New Deal.

Two to post how the main stream media has squashed any news of the topic
from getting through to the people

and.........

One lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start
it all over again!!