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barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 03:11 PM
bar.ka here

how 2 pu.t the fun b.ack in horse showing

1) fire trainer
2) get new trai.ner
3) leave new trai.ner at barn
4) go 2 shows alone
5) no 1 at in ga.te to gr.ipe about what u alr.eady know.
6) have fri.end set jumps for wa.rm up
7) smi.le

Sport
May. 12, 2010, 03:13 PM
You better watch your back barka. If people take your advice the trainers might be out to get you. :-)
They will all be in the poor house as they will no longer be able to charge exhorbitant show fees.

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 03:14 PM
bar.ka here

trainer mafia alr.eady out 4 me cause i teach grand prixs for frees

blackcat95
May. 12, 2010, 03:20 PM
trainer mafia???? I'm worried....

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 03:24 PM
bar.ka here


u not know tra.iner mafia?

u must open eye.s to see what it is

u cross tra.iner mafia
u not get ur horses sold
u not do well in jud.ged classes like hunters and eq
it terri.ble thing to cross them
they make u pay

ApplesLilJumper1
May. 12, 2010, 03:31 PM
lear.n ho.w to. wri.te li.ke a NORMAL PERSON. kthanks bye.

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 03:32 PM
bar.ka here

crab.apple
u got nutt'n nice to say, u keep it 2 urself ummmk?

Hunter Mom
May. 12, 2010, 03:52 PM
Bar.ka, I love you! You come to Kansas & I'll keep the trainer mafia off your back. As long as you teach me to do Grand Prix. Maybe DD's short stirrup mare can do it, too. At a trot!

MaryKay
May. 12, 2010, 03:53 PM
lear.n ho.w to. wri.te li.ke a NORMAL PERSON. kthanks bye.


Maybe barka's not a "normal person" or maybe, just maybe it's all just in fun? Gotta love barka! :-)

dizzywriter
May. 12, 2010, 03:54 PM
bar.ka here

trainer mafia alr.eady out 4 me cause i teach grand prixs for frees

u teach my so.fa 4 frees plz.

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 03:59 PM
As long as you teach me to do Grand Prix. Maybe DD's short stirrup mare can do it, too. At a trot!

bar.ka here


hun.ter mum u must start with 1 who has som.e talent. i not hel.en. kell.er merical work.er. :rolleyes:

u come to ne.xt show i go 2 and i put u up on big horse. start u going round meter 1.20 class at trot first. by end of wee.k 2 we get u in grands prixs.

Hunter Mom
May. 12, 2010, 04:06 PM
My horsie can do the 1.2 m jumpers no problem. Can I just point him at the jump and hang on?

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 04:10 PM
bar.ka here

hunt.er mum

u need 2 change user name to

mum with gigantic bolas

u got rite id.ea we see how u do

SkipChange
May. 12, 2010, 04:10 PM
I got good way pu.t fun b.ack in showing- walk course with beer. Spe.cially be.fore grand prixs sponsored by budweiser. Try drink while warming up and when cooling out too. I see cool people do it. Watchu think bar.ka?

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 04:15 PM
bar.ka here

oh no. bar.ka do not think boo.ze and horsies mix, unless when cleaning said hor.sies stall. then 1 require what is known as a "barn pour"

Hunter Mom
May. 12, 2010, 04:38 PM
Thank you Bar.Ka. I will tell small child she must wait to do GP. Maybe next year. I will put extra stick-um on my gloves to help hold the mane so I can do GP on my horsie. Will that help?

mortebella
May. 12, 2010, 08:21 PM
laff so hard i peas on seff :lol::lol::lol:

Go barka!!!

SillyHorse
May. 12, 2010, 08:21 PM
bar.ka here

crab.apple
u got nutt'n nice to say, u keep it 2 urself ummmk?
Words to live by.

Wanderluster
May. 12, 2010, 09:06 PM
I think you're on to something barka.
One show idea, everyone at in gate listens to the same advice on a head set
i.e. keep your horse balanced straight rhythmical

followed by a motivational message from Depak Chopra

finished with a slug of cold water a slick boot polish and a big thumbs up.

:D fun show minus unfun horse trainer.

SillyHorse
May. 12, 2010, 09:12 PM
I think you're on to something barka.
One show idea, everyone at in gate listens to the same advice on a head set
i.e. keep your horse balanced straight rhythmical

followed by a motivational message from Depak Chopra

finished with a slug of cold water a slick boot polish and a big thumbs up.

:D fun show minus unfun horse trainer.
That could be enough to get me riding the hunters again. :lol:

mvp
May. 12, 2010, 09:28 PM
bar.ka here

oh no. bar.ka do not think boo.ze and horsies mix, unless when cleaning said hor.sies stall. then 1 require what is known as a "barn pour"

My dear Lounger,

On the way to congratulating you for the golden-hued nugget lodged at the very center of your spartan prose, may I take the opportunity to point out that one may also use many more lines and syllables to make a similarly single point? Anyone with a modicum of skllls literary and mathematical will readily calculate that it took me exactly four lines to express just two ideas, to wit: the implied and polite praise of your idea, and a veiled allusion to the differing writing styles in which one can cloak pure thought so universal to us all.

This, my friend, is how those of us steeped in the glorious complexity of mid-19th century prose roll, as it were. Should we have been German rather than British, we would have perhaps arrived at the substance of our letter sooner but only by way of a much thicker grammatical forest.

If you will indulge me now, I will do both, though only for one tiring sentence and sadly translated into English, as that which suits me will undoubtedly be the thing that is required by the subject at hand as well, so far as I am an honest and literate writer, which, of course, would have been of some doubt were you not packed just as full of good will and honor as I. That is to say, in terms both complex and clear at once, that drinking beer in pursuit of the good horsemanship whether in the saddle or in the stable is hardly considered so extraordinary as to warrant comment at all, much less an unfavorable opinion from so great an authority as yourself.

I leave you to consider, if not unpack, the weight of my prose.

In pursuit of all things horse,
Your most faithful servant
I remain,

-mvp

Fun Size
May. 12, 2010, 09:36 PM
Thanks barka! Love it.

Also good path to fun horse shows? Fun trainer! Preferably with several drinks in him/her while prepping you at the in-gate.

oldenmare
May. 12, 2010, 09:39 PM
AHHHHHH, MVP, creating the complex from the simple.

You MUST be a dressage instructor!!!! Are you perhaps lost on this forum?

So - bar.ka - IF I were to leave my trainer at home, does this mean I may also forgo the ubiquitous "hunter hair" and wear my 'do in some rad style?????

SmileItLooksGoodOnYou
May. 12, 2010, 09:48 PM
bar.ka here

how 2 pu.t the fun b.ack in horse showing

1) fire trainer
2) get new trai.ner
3) leave new trai.ner at barn
4) go 2 shows alone
5) no 1 at in ga.te to gr.ipe about what u alr.eady know.
6) have fri.end set jumps for wa.rm up
7) smi.le


I like step 7. Smiles make everyone look better!

If I fire my trainer can you teach me grand prixs with my horse? He's very good. I pay. Please? :winkgrin:

Marcella
May. 12, 2010, 10:05 PM
MVP: That was so beautiful it brought a tear to me eye.

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 10:36 PM
bar.ka here

mvp i read ur post 4 times.

then i pass gas.

still not sure what ur poi.nt is. i go read few more times. may.be i get sma.rt enough to find the po.int.

barka.lounger
May. 12, 2010, 10:39 PM
bar.ka here


mvp, a few more to.ots and i get ur po.int.

u like to dr.ink and r.ide

this i can.not abi.de.

toot toot toot

mvp
May. 12, 2010, 11:00 PM
bar.ka here


mvp, a few more to.ots and i get ur po.int.

u like to dr.ink and r.ide

this i can.not abi.de.

toot toot toot

Clearly you aren't from the 19th century. I'm not sure they farted then. But I have spent a lot of time reading Charles Darwin who writes like a freak (by modern standards). The German scientists of his age were way (way) worse.

Oh and Chucky-D did keep a diary that noted how often he puked and had sex with his wife. The latter was written in code.

Really, the way that people write is just as interesting as what they write.

HuntJumpSC
May. 12, 2010, 11:32 PM
bar.ka~ You totally rock! Do you think maybe one day I might be as cool as u? :cool::winkgrin::cool:

dizzywriter
May. 12, 2010, 11:34 PM
To wit

Bar.ka forsoothe ur stuff. Traynors stay. Home. Jump, jump, jump. Wheee!

My so.fa likes frees prixes training 2. We win, win, win.

Lik.e ur Parelli 4 .

lintesia
May. 13, 2010, 12:58 AM
bar.ka here

oh no. bar.ka do not think boo.ze and horsies mix, unless when cleaning said hor.sies stall. then 1 require what is known as a "barn pour"

Please bar.ka... I have evidence to the contrary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6fHTTb2PBw

doublesstable
May. 13, 2010, 03:22 AM
bar.ka here

how 2 pu.t the fun b.ack in horse showing

1) fire trainer
2) get new trai.ner
3) leave new trai.ner at barn
4) go 2 shows alone
5) no 1 at in ga.te to gr.ipe about what u alr.eady know.
6) have fri.end set jumps for wa.rm up
7) smi.le


I have done the above and have had the following results:

1) Can't find good trainer to fire
2) Finally found a good trainer don't want to look for another
3) Have my horses at home. Hubby wonders why trainers at the barn
4) Can't go to shows alone, must take the horse
5) I'm old and can't hear what the trainer says anyway
6) Don't have friends
7) I get bugs in my teeth or choke on a gnat

I'm old so just getting up in the morning is a blessing and to climb on a horse is even more of a thrill....

ridingagain
May. 13, 2010, 08:56 AM
Barka, you always make my day.... I have a fun trainer, too, tho, and we actually both like to drink a wee bit before,and after riding - helps my nerves. Does that mean you won't help me to do Grand Prixs?

barka.lounger
May. 13, 2010, 09:11 AM
bar.ka here

mvp, i am of few words, but many toots.

doublesstables, i hope u not have a lisp with a name like that especially if u drink and ride. 2.m,any s-es

mvp
May. 13, 2010, 09:28 AM
bar.ka here

mvp, i am of few words, but many toots.

doublesstables, i hope u not have a lisp with a name like that especially if u drink and ride. 2.m,any s-es

I don't know if I can say this without farting, but it seems to me that it's most fun to have someone to fire. Ffeel the pfowah!

jackalini
May. 13, 2010, 09:41 AM
Please bar.ka... I have evidence to the contrary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6fHTTb2PBw

I think if I did that, my horse would do grand prix without the jumps. :winkgrin:

I've been known to sample some chardonnay before hunter classes on the wild mare.

But barka, here's the real question...if riders shouldn't drink prior to our grand prix, can we give our horses a few? :D I think mine would appreciate it.

blackcat95
May. 13, 2010, 09:44 AM
mvp, could you maybe consider bar.ka's prose as a more obscure form of poetry only known to the few who ride with the great bar.ka in GP?

RomeosGirl
May. 13, 2010, 09:52 AM
Can we change the thread title to:

how 2 pu.t the fart b.ack in horse showing

Hunter Mom
May. 13, 2010, 11:35 AM
RG - maybe we would have more fun if we farted while showing?

barka.lounger
May. 13, 2010, 11:38 AM
bar.ka here

what u mean if?

tidy rabbit
May. 13, 2010, 11:56 AM
The horses aren't shy with their toots over fences. Sometimes I have to wonder if it's really the horse! :eek:

doublesstable
May. 13, 2010, 12:40 PM
bar.ka here

doublesstables, i hope u not have a lisp with a name like that especially if u drink and ride. 2.m,any s-es

I just wanted to make others have to say it...

And don't need to drink around "those a$$es".... they make me happy. But when in the real world - that's a whole different story! :winkgrin: