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View Full Version : WWYD? I love my horse... but I just don't feel like riding anymore :/



superpony123
Apr. 27, 2010, 03:57 PM
nevermind :) i think i have things sorted out now

Lucassb
Apr. 27, 2010, 04:06 PM
Have you called your former trainer and asked their advice? If not, I would... and I would consider having your current trainer speak to them to discuss the horse's previous (successful) program. It may be that a simple change in routine/turnout/exercise/feed returns your horse to the easygoing mount that you could have fun riding and showing.

If it is not possible to re-create a similar program for your horse at your current barn, I'd be looking at finding a new barn. Again your previous trainer may be able to make some suggestions to help you.

I don't think it's unreasonable to feel a lack of motivation to ride when you are having so much difficulty at a level that was previously well below what you were capable of. Riding scared is simply not fun.

However before you throw in the towel entirely, I'd see if you can come up with a program that makes your horse a bit more like he was when you got him. I'd be willing to bet that once you are again able to do the stuff you used to do with him, your motivation will re-appear.

Carol Ames
Apr. 27, 2010, 04:07 PM
Get out of that barn:eek:! Get the horse out as well:yes::mad:!

leilatigress
Apr. 27, 2010, 04:24 PM
I would do some self evaluation Sans horse. I am actually at this same crossroads on a different scale.
Write down your riding goals FOR YOURSELF for a week/month/year.
Write down your goals FOR YOUR HORSE for a week/month/year.
Write down characteristics of your dream horse (at least 6 and include height,training level, color etc. as if you are buying a horse.)
Take all three of these pieces of paper and lay them out in front of you.
Take a fourth piece of paper and be honest if the horse you are leasing will be able to complete your goals and if he/she is even close to your dream horse.
Your horse sounds as if he/she is just a bit too much horse for you and being a PITA doesn't help you at all. Talk to the owners and see if they will let you out of the lease and or see if there is anyone at current or former barn that would be a good match for that horse. Talk to your old trainer and discuss the issues you are having since she left and see what she suggests. You have to be able to trust your trainer and your horse or else you are useless to both. Your new barn doesn't seem like a good fit either not only because they failed to follow directions but because they also self medicated against your wishes and without consulting a vet. You might also talk to your family after the self evaluation and see what they suggest. I hope this helps and I wish you luck no matter what your decision.

ace**
Apr. 27, 2010, 04:27 PM
[QUOTE=superpony123;4831998]

I feel like the only option I have to keep my horse is to bring him down to the barn where he came from, and trek up there on week days and give him his day off on the weekend and have a pro ride on the weekend. That barn is about an hour away from me, and it requires me to get on the GS parkway which is a NIGHTMARE in the late spring and summer because of all the people going down to the shore.. so going on the weekend doubles the amont of time it takes to get there, so it's not happening. I never enjoyed going to barns that were very far away either, and I'm afraid I'm going to get there and still not feel like riding. More money down the drain. But at the same time I feel like such a failure if I dont make this work. I guess right now I feel like a failure no matter what. :( But on the bright side, I did take a lesson with the trainer there while I tried my horse out back in january, and I did like it. And, they know him better than anyone of course (he's been at their barn for something like 8 years) and so at least I know I wont have to worry about all that. But getting there is a big deterrent--I am graduating HS in june, and right now I feel like I'd rather be spending less time riding and more time with friends and doing other stuff. I have a lot of other hobbies, and it's annoying sometimes that I have to push them aside for riding.

QUOTE]

Is it possible to have him at this barn for awhile? Maybe just for a few months so they can figure out what is going on with you and him as a team, and get your confidence back? Maybe at that point they can recommend a barn closer to you to continue training out of.
Long commutes suck, but sometimes it's worth it to get a problem like this sorted out. You can do your homework on the way to and from the barn.
If you can't make it to the barn as many times a week while he's there can you get more pro rides if its necessary? Like you get out there 3-4 times a week, and the pro rides twice?
It wouldn't hurt to talk to them to see what they could work out.

onelanerode
Apr. 27, 2010, 04:49 PM
You have two issues here: needing to get this horse in a specific program, and being in a barn whose management is apparently turning a deaf ear to your requests.

Is it possible to re-create your successful program at this barn? What will it require of the barn staff? Sit down and talk with them about the problems you've already had and what needs to happen now.

If you can't re-create that program, you need to start looking for another barn. Take the rumors you've heard about other places with a grain of salt. We all know how things can get twisted in the horse world. What one ex-client says was a horrible place with inadequate care and only two flakes of hay given/day might be true, but it might also be a case of psycho client wanting a 20-page log of Dobbin's daily activities, pitching a fit if Dobbin was fed 10 minutes late and oh, those two flakes of hay actually weighed 10 pounds apiece and took Dobbin most of the evening to finish. Go see the facility and talk with the manager yourself.

findeight
Apr. 27, 2010, 06:54 PM
Take a deep breath and stop kicking yourself here.
This CAN be worked out.

First have a chat with your parents or whoever helps you pay the bill. Then you go have one with the folks at the barn, take whoever helps with those bills with you so they take you more seriously. Make it clear what you want and let them make an effort to meet your needs. It is very possible they have some communication issues with the help, maybe they need to supervise better, whatever. But give them a chance to do right for you.

If that does not work, you do need to move. But, for heaven's sake, EVERY barn has had somebody saying a bad thing about it for a variety of reasons. Disgruntled ex customer. Disgruntled ex help. People they beat regularly at the shows. You can't eliminate them if you never set foot on their property.

One other thing...maybe YOU need a little break. IIRC you were going to school plus riding extras over the winter to the point you were too tired to ride your own. And you maybe thought this match was going to go a little smoother then it has, right? Nothing wrong with that, happens all the time if not every time we get a new horse.

I think you have sort of burned yourself out a little. Maybe pushed yourself too hard. Maybe built up some expectations about the lease horse. I think most of us have just loved a new horse...for about 3 or 4 months when we discover it has it's faults. I call it "new horseitis".

So SLOW DOWN a little here.

HenryisBlaisin'
Apr. 27, 2010, 08:09 PM
I agree with talking to your old trainer, and possibly having the new trainer work with her to get a program that suits you both.

Also, have a talk with the BO/BM/whoever oversees your horse's day-to-day care. Has there been a change in feed at the new barn from your old one? That could be a BIG part of your problem. If that's the case, ask if horsie can be returned to old feeding program (I know you said money is tight, and this may cost extra to buy and baggie a different brand/type of grain but SO worth it if it makes a difference).

Then...can you come up with a new program that suits you and horsie? If you're now fearful over fences, it creates a vicious cycle-horse does something untoward, you react fearfully, horse does something else untoward, you get more fearful...so...can you back off from jumping for a while? Take some dressage lessons? Hack out on trails? Ride bareback? Just do somethings to make you feel comfortable about riding the horse without jumps in the picture, and then reintroduce the jumping as part, but not all, of the program, and make the focus building a connection rather than performance? It might make a difference to you both. When the bond is there, the performance will come. Fighting fear destroys the bond.

Laguna 007
Apr. 27, 2010, 09:32 PM
I don't have much advice, but am sympathetic to your situation. I can understand wanting to spend you last few weeks of HS doing things with friends and such.

I will say that I recently moved my horse to my barn's new location (newer facility) and it is an hour drive from my house. I still manage to make the trek up there every day (when I'm home...when I'm at school, it's a 6 hour drive home to ride) and believe it or not you get used to it. It doesn't feel like an hour anymore. When I get there I am even more motivated to ride because I am so excited to get to use this new facility, my horse is going great, so it is totally worth it. Perhaps you would start feeling this way again when you get to a barn that you actually enjoy in which you regain your confidence and continue moving forward?

Good Luck.

pony lover xx
Apr. 27, 2010, 10:36 PM
I had a similar issue last year when I bought a new horse. I bought a lovely equitation horse who had a ton of show experience and was super quiet. Perfect teacher for an inexperienced horse-shower like myself. A few weeks after we moved bought him and moved him to my barn things started to go down hill. He became spooky, naughty, and quite frankly scared me a lot. He would buck, hop, take off etc. I DREADED going out to the barn, all my plans for a fun show season were immediately dropped. I figured if I couldn't ride him well at home how was I ever going to show? My confidence plummeted. It got so bad my trainer started talking to me about selling him.

But lo and behold we got through it. We started him in a program and I took a few extra rides here and there on a dead quiet school horse to raise my confidence. Eventually I got confident enough to deal with his problems, and my trainer riding him helped remind him to behave himself. Looking back on it he really was never dangerous, just experienced enough to know how to get out of work by scaring me. He still will occasionally pretend to spook at something or be silly if he's feeling lazy and like getting out of work, but I have learned how to deal with it and he drops the act immediately.

I cannot stress enough to you how happy I am that I stuck with it. I went from dreading going to lessons to now loving them and really looking forward to them. We ended up having a great show season last year and are moving up this summer. I am SOO happy I never sold him as he is now my dream horse and I love him to pieces. I had similar thoughts of worrying how much money would be wasted, and what had happened that I hated riding so much. But it worked out in the end for me!

Obviously you have to make the decision for yourself, but I just thought I'd offer my experience from someone on the other side of things. You've gotten some great advice above and hopefully it'll work out well for you. Seems like you're being very logical about it all. Best of luck!!

lesgarcons
Apr. 28, 2010, 05:38 AM
I think everyone is failing to realize that the OP is LEASING this horse for 9 months for $9,000. That is a very expensive lease, and does not include board or training. OP, I think if you can't decide on a plan for making this barn work for the horse, or make the decision to move on to a new one very soon, you should terminate the lease.

A 9k lease is only worth it if the horse is showing and winning at whatever level you are aiming for. This is not happening here, and it looks to be a long way off. In this economy, I am sure you could lease a horse who has fewer issues for less money and even win some local shows.

I think you need to have some fun riding again. If you can find a barn in your area that has people your age who like to ride for fun, not winning A shows, I think you should either take this horse there or lease one at that barn. Do not wait until you are totally burned out. It would be much better to spend a summer trail riding on a shareboarded horse than to have your parents spend 9k on a horse you can't even force yourself to ride.

Good luck, and don't be hard on yourself. If riding this horse at this barn makes you miserable, you have tons of options. Act now and you'll feel much better tomorrow. :)

NYCspaz
Apr. 28, 2010, 05:57 AM
I had an eerily similar situation around the time of my high school graduation. Riding had become a chore, or more like a job, as the sales of my horses were paying for part of my college. I had a bad experience at my long-term barn and moved to a different one, which had better facilities but fewer people my age that I could hang out and ride with. And after a bad fall, my 'dream horse' was starting to scare me and become a pain (literally, from a dislocated shoulder and fighting him in the mouth out of fear).

I ended up selling my 'dream horse,' and breaking even. I had a deadline anyway and was moving to NYC within a few months, but I knew me riding him wasn't going to help matters. You need to take into consideration that your horse is a lease and the owners will want him back in the form you got him in, so it might be worth it to find someone else to take over the lease (just pay the leftover money for a few months) or, if you can afford it, move him to a different barn and put him in training. That's what I ended up doing and it was really the only way, as otherwise I would have ruined his mouth after a period of time.

The only thing that saved me was a little $400 pony that I bought with a friend as an investment. She was a spirited, evil little thing, but she was fun. There's something about knowing there's only 14 hands to the ground that makes riding a brat super fun. So I concentrated on her until I left and have never felt more proud of the work I put into her - especially considering her near-6 figures selling price a few years back. :)

So I recommend you take time off and see if you can terminate the lease and take some lessons on something FUN, not exhausting. Now that I'm done with college, I'm super anxious to get back into riding. If I had ended on a bad streak, I wouldn't have joined the IHSA team (what are your plans for school, will you ride?) or be looking forward to a month riding in France next week.

So my advice: finish on a good note. Lease him out to someone else or get him training board. Find something fun for yourself to ride. And enjoy your last days of high school!

SonnysMom
Apr. 28, 2010, 07:59 AM
I would move him back to the barn that you leased him from- even if you only move him there for a month or two.
Let them work with him for the next 2 or 3 weeks while you do things with your HS friends. During this time you just be a high school student having fun and taking a vacation from riding.
Then start back riding by taking a few lessons with the trainer riding in between. Once horsey is consistently going how he was when you first leased him then you have a decision to make.
1. Stay at the farm where he was leased from and commute the hour. You may find that it really isn't that bad and it will only be until Sept

2. If the drive is really still stressful to you -move him closer to home but have the trainer you are leasing him through talk to the new barn to make sure they understand and can accommodate horsey's very specific program. Have new barn agree to that program IN WRITING signed by the barn, you and your parents.

As other people have suggested maybe your old trainer can recommend a barn better suited to your leased horse. Or maybe the trainer that you leased the horse from has some suggestions on barns she knows that are closer to you but that will follow horsey's program.

I also do not mean this the way it may come out but was there a medication protocol that your old trainer was following at the recommendation of the trainer you leased the horse from that you and your current barn may be unaware of? If your old trainer was the one adminstering the meds you may not have been aware of it and she may have forgotten to mention it in the process of her move and your move. I am talking a showing legal routine. (Depo etc...) It seems that with some show horses there is a very specific routine and drug protocol they need to be able to perform to the best of their abilities at the higher levels.

meupatdoes
Apr. 28, 2010, 09:33 AM
I think everyone is failing to realize that the OP is LEASING this horse for 9 months for $9,000. That is a very expensive lease, and does not include board or training. OP, I think if you can't decide on a plan for making this barn work for the horse, or make the decision to move on to a new one very soon, you should terminate the lease.

A 9k lease is only worth it if the horse is showing and winning at whatever level you are aiming for. This is not happening here, and it looks to be a long way off. In this economy, I am sure you could lease a horse who has fewer issues for less money and even win some local shows.

I think you need to have some fun riding again. If you can find a barn in your area that has people your age who like to ride for fun, not winning A shows, I think you should either take this horse there or lease one at that barn. Do not wait until you are totally burned out. It would be much better to spend a summer trail riding on a shareboarded horse than to have your parents spend 9k on a horse you can't even force yourself to ride.

Good luck, and don't be hard on yourself. If riding this horse at this barn makes you miserable, you have tons of options. Act now and you'll feel much better tomorrow. :)

Oh, so, now that the OP has changed the horse's program from one where it was successfully jumping 3' on a loose rein to one where it is suffering injuries in its stall from improper management and they can barely get through a ride without misbehavior, she should throw the horse back to the owner and demand a refund?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

Once you lease a horse YOU OWN IT for the duration of the lease. You do not just throw it back to the owner when you get bored of it. You can send the horse back if you feel you have irretrievably broken it or untrained it but there sure as h#ll will not be any refunds, and if you are paying month by month you still need to pay out your full commitment.

You do not walk away from a lease COMMITMENT and hand back a horse whose performance has NOTABLY DECLINED IN YOUR CARE AND CONTROL and demand a REFUND ON TOP.
:mad::confused::mad::mad::confused::confused::eek:

I love how your advice to the OP is "Hey, no probs! Just completely F*CK OVER the owner and your life will be gravy!"

:confused::confused:


OP, get on the Garden State Parkway and drive the hour.

You owe it to your parents who have footed this bill, the owner of the horse, and the horse to keep him in a program where he will remain successful even if you have to drive an hour to do it. Sometimes success requires a little grit and determination, and I don't think driving an hour in crappy traffic really counts as excessive martyrdom, especially when your parents are spending well over $1,000 a month to fulfill your heart's desire. Yeah, people are spending (a LOT of) money on you. Somebody else has entrusted their evidently very nice horse into your care. The least you can do is drive in traffic.

If you get him back in the program where he was successful before, things will likely turn around again. Sooner here is better than later.

mustangsal85
Apr. 28, 2010, 09:59 AM
Oh, so, now that the OP has changed the horse's program from one where it was successfully jumping 3' on a loose rein to one where it has suffered an injury and they can barely get through a ride without misbehavior, she should throw the horse back to the owner and demand a refund?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

Once you lease a horse YOU OWN IT for the duration of the lease. You do not just throw it back to the owner when you get bored of it. You can send the horse back if you feel you have irretrievably broken it or untrained it but there sure as h#ll will not be any refunds, and if you are paying month by month you still need to pay out the full commitment.

You do not walk away from a lease COMMITMENT and hand back a horse whose performance has NOTABLY DECLINED IN YOUR CARE AND CONTROL and demand a REFUND ON TOP.
:mad::confused::mad::mad::confused::confused::eek:

I love how your advice to the OP is "Hey, no probs! Just completely F*CK OVER the owner and your life will be gravy!"



I don't think that they were necessarily suggesting she demand a refund. If they OP and the horse's owner were smart about it, they would have written up a lease contract that has specific outlines re: a situation similar to this one. IE a termination fee or breach of contract agreement. I don't think that if she terminates the lease she will get out of it scot-free - and there certainly won't be a refund and I don't think any person in their right mind would ask for a refund on a fulfilled contract. Yes, if the lease is terminated it will suck for the owner, but they should be prepared for it in their lease agreement if some extenuating circumstance arose.

EDIT: Also, and this is just MHO, if I were the owner and my horse was unhappy and/or being treated poorly (NOT saying the OP is, but just in general the horse is unhappy), I would ultimately rather him be returned before any more damage is done rather than risk irreversible physical or psychological damage.

Now, that being said - OP I DON'T think terminating the lease is the best idea. I think that if you can find a healthier environment for both you and your horse to thrive in you will quickly get back to status quo. If the BO is ignoring your requests as a PAYING CLIENT, don't bother giving them your money! That's complete BS. A boarding stable is supposed to follow the requests of its customers, ESPECIALLY for something as simple as turnout and medication!!! That just irritates me beyond words to hear that they can't even come through on simple requests like that. My BO took out his cell phone and called a boarder in the middle of feeding the other day just to double check that he was feeding the right supplements and dosage. Just that little extra effort is what makes me so happy to be at that barn.

Anyway, I would talk to your old trainer and see what he/she (sorry I don't remember which :)) says about the situation. If it is possible to keep your horse at their place and commute just a couple days a week it might be worth it if your quality of ride is improved and your motivation returns.

Just my two cents. I only kind of scanned the previous replies so hopefully I didn't repeat anything.

meupatdoes
Apr. 28, 2010, 10:16 AM
I don't think that they were necessarily suggesting she demand a refund. If they OP and the horse's owner were smart about it, they would have written up a lease contract that has specific outlines re: a situation similar to this one. IE a termination fee or breach of contract agreement. I don't think that if she terminates the lease she will get out of it scot-free - and there certainly won't be a refund and I don't think any person in their right mind would ask for a refund on a fulfilled contract.

I think the OP made clear that she would not be getting a refund and that the money is 'wasted' if she can't make this work, but that lesgarcons missed it.
lesgarcons suggested:


A 9k lease is only worth it if the horse is showing and winning at whatever level you are aiming for. This is not happening here, and it looks to be a long way off. In this economy, I am sure you could lease a horse who has fewer issues for less money and even win some local shows.

...

It would be much better to spend a summer trail riding on a shareboarded horse than to have your parents spend 9k on a horse you can't even force yourself to ride.

That sounds like they have missed the fact that the 9k is ALREADY COMMITTED to and spent, and will not be coming back. NOR SHOULD IT.

I actually find the advice here to be much more deplorable than the OP's post. The OP is at least coming from a baseline realization that she will have to take some responsibility, whereas some people here are advising her to just walk away and screw over everyone else she has crossed paths with.

mustangsal85
Apr. 28, 2010, 10:22 AM
I think the OP made clear that she would not be getting a refund and that the money is 'wasted' if she can't make this work, but that lesgarcons missed it.
lesgarcons suggested:


That sounds like they have missed the fact that the 9k is ALREADY COMMITTED to and spent, and will not be coming back. NOR SHOULD IT.

I actually find the advice here to be much more deplorable than the OP's post. The OP is at least coming from a baseline realization that she will have to take some responsibility, whereas some people here are advising her to just walk away and screw over everyone else she has crossed paths with.

Ah, you know what I missed that too. Doesn't change my opinion that she shouldn't necessarily break it but that makes more sense now. What I get for scanning. :)

Jaideux
Apr. 28, 2010, 10:22 AM
meupatdoes: I don't think anyone mentioned asking for a refund.

If I was this horse's owner and I found out the person leasing my horse wasn't able to keep it in a program that worked for it (even if through no fault of her own), and as a result the horse was obviously unhappy, I would ABSOLUTELY want the horse back. Of course I'd want to see the person leasing fulfill her financial commitment, or at least have a discussion to find a reasonable compromise that satisfies all parties, but I also wouldn't want them to hang onto the horse as it rapidly depreciates in value through physical and psychological malarky.

Again, I'm not trying to say any of these unfortunate things are the OP's fault- she tried to do what was best, and it just kinda didn't work out. Happens to all of us. And I don't mean to make it sound like I think she's ruining the horse, because I don't. But as an owner who is currently half leasing a horse out, if the person leasing is having problems with him and doesn't see a viable light at the end of the tunnel, send me that horse back so I can put it back in a program and stop any futher deterioration so I can hopefully turn around and lease it out again. If she were to hang onto him until September and it doesn't get much better, I'm gonna loose out on a lot more than I would be being inconvenienced with an early return. I would much rather tell this OP, "send me the horse back next month, and only pay me half the remaining balance" than get paid in full but possibly have a horse in September that will end up costing me to get a pro to "fix" it back up. I may lose $2500 if I say "just pay me half"... but at the cost of board, training, and any vet work needed to rehab the injuries he's causing him self if they keep him til September, I may actually lost more than $2500.

OP: if you decide that terminating early is in everyone's best interest, I wonder if the person you're leasing from has any other mounts? Perhaps you can do a trade, or a reduced "penalty" fee, for the change up. Or, maybe if you can proactively work to help the owner find a new person to lease the owner will waive the remaining months, as they will be covered by the new person, in which case the incentive for moving him to the far away barn for a month or two to get him tuned up, showing, and shipped out to a new leasor might be worth it.

If the person you're leasing from can only think of the $$ involved with the immediate lease termination, and can't quite grasp the long term and non-monetary value of your and the horse's mental health, safety and such, and isn't willing to try to work with you then you've unfortunately gotten involved with... a person whose values I don't agree with.

Best of luck. If only horses were like cars... it'd be a hell of a lot easier to be cut and dried about the whole thing.

danceronice
Apr. 28, 2010, 10:25 AM
I don't see where lesgarcons is suggesting asking for a refund, either, just terminating the lease early. The thing about a lease is you DON'T own the horse, someone else does, and you're renting it. Presumably there's a contract with stipulations about what will happen if it ends early and if the horse is injured or no longer usable.

And I would agree, if you can move to another barn, and the people where you're at aren't caring for the horse the way you the customer want, do it. Check out the place someone didn't like, even--as everyone said, in the horse world, "bad care" can mean "bad care", or "bad care" can mean "didn't treat Pookie like it was a $1500/month full-care and training facility when it's a $400/month self-care barn."

findeight
Apr. 28, 2010, 10:29 AM
IMO OP is just acting like a 17 year old who had big expectations from this lease horse and ran into typical new horse adjustment complicated by having to go to school plus riding (alot of) extras to offset her board. That was going on a couple of months ago-she was exhausted...and new horse was not behaving that well in the cold. Not that unusual.

Then trainer moves and she also has to move to new barn, new trainer, new group of fellow clients, maybe no extras to ride to offset board????

Anyway...just a passing storm here, It WILL pass. There are solutions and some decisions that need to be made. Maybe some changes.

Once upon a time....spent the price of a nicer variety new car on a made horse...and ended up crying myself to sleep 3 months later and dreading to go to the barn. Still have the horse, who did nothing but good for me once we got it all sorted out. But I was not 17, dealing with graduation, finals, college selection, trainer moving and I would bet OP is getting some parental pressure here-"we spent all this money"... So she is impatient and worried this lease horse will not do what she hoped.

And...OP, are you aging out this DEC or do you have another year as a Junior? if so, the younger group AA is waiting for you;). Usually smaller then the middle or older groups. It's all good, no panic needed about ticking clocks.

Oh, that 9k for 9 months for a mid level show horse for better shows?? That's mid range. I paid that for less horse a few years back.

Like I said, take a deep breath here. This can be solved. Welcome to young adulthood.

You can still enjoy this horse, don't think anything was wrong or there was any medication involved. he just needs a regular program. And you need to relax and give him some time here. He can teach you alot once you get it sorted out. Focus on what will work, not what you hoped would happen.

magnolia73
Apr. 28, 2010, 10:42 AM
I'd find a new barn where he gets the adequate turn out. Horses that need turn out...NEED turn out. My horse was unenjoyable when she was getting less turnout then she needed. More turnout? voila, enjoyable horse.

So... I'd look for a closer barn that turns out or suck it up and drive the hour. And you really need to VISIT barns. People talk shit about barns. You need to see it yourself.

superpony123
Apr. 28, 2010, 07:01 PM
Had a chat with trainer today to sort out my issues and I'm starting to feel confident that this could be worked out. I hope. Also, i don't see where anyone said that I should demand a refund, I think someone just misread. That's unreasonable. Anyway, I've been offered to ride and show a fun pony that reminds me exactly of my old pony in the mean time (yes still riding my horse too) so that cheered me up quite a bit, getting to ride something that felt familiar and that I knew I could do something with. But we're making a little training program for horse so that he can get straightened out and all. Thank you everyone for your advice.

lesgarcons
Apr. 28, 2010, 07:21 PM
Wow, I never imagined my comments would be so upsetting. They were not intended to be incendiary at all. First, I never suggested OP ask for money back. I assumed, possibly stupidly, that the OP was paying the lease off by the month, since the OP said that it was 5k down the drain, I assumed that they were paying 1k a month and had leased for 5 months so far. I'm sorry if i was wrong about this. I thought OP could save her parents some money if the situation isn't working out if the horse owner didn't mind taking the horse back, and if they were paying by the month. If not, yeah, they money is already spent. Also, I agree with this quote:



Also, and this is just MHO, if I were the owner and my horse was unhappy and/or being treated poorly (NOT saying the OP is, but just in general the horse is unhappy), I would ultimately rather him be returned before any more damage is done rather than risk irreversible physical or psychological damage.
If horse and rider are unhappy, I would be happy as the horse owner to take the horse back and try to find a better match for him. Especially if they money is already spent, it doesn't seem like the owner would be screwed over if the horse was sent back. But I have never leased a show horse before, so maybe I am wrong.

It seems like the OP has high expectations for herself and the horse, and it seems like she has been showing at pretty high levels for a while. I was just suggesting that if no suitable solution could be found for the problem (and I strongly advocate finding a solution for the problem before returning the horse), that maybe the OP would be happier taking some of the pressure off of herself and just having some fun with horses. I was a teenager once too, and sometimes I just wished for someone to take the pressure off of me at that time.

Again, sorry if I'm talking nonsense or not communicating clearly enough.

OP, I'm glad to see that this can be worked out, and that you found a horse you can have some fun showing now. :)

Riley0522
Apr. 28, 2010, 07:31 PM
I'm sorry about your situation, sounds really unpleasant but good to hear that you've spoken with the trainer there and things are hopefully moving in the right direction.

Just wanted to say from reading your OP, I would definitely treat your horse for ulcers. You said he gets ulcers extremely easily and the behavior you've described was my horse to the T when he had ulcers. Bolting, rushing fences, spooking at everything, etc. A treatment of Gastrogard cleared up the issues. Just sounds like that's what's going on with your horse, and considering you said he gets them easily, you've moved him to a new barn, his turnout was limited for a period and he was given Bute, sounds like a recipe for disaster for an ulcer horse.

Hope things get better for you, I was feeling pretty discouraged when my horse was going through his tough period with his injury and then the ulcers, and there were many days I hated him and just wished he would disappear, it was so awful because I never thought I'd feel that way about riding.

meupatdoes
Apr. 28, 2010, 10:28 PM
I assumed, possibly stupidly, that the OP was paying the lease off by the month, since the OP said that it was 5k down the drain, I assumed that they were paying 1k a month and had leased for 5 months so far. I'm sorry if i was wrong about this. I thought OP could save her parents some money if the situation isn't working out if the horse owner didn't mind taking the horse back, and if they were paying by the month

A lease is a COMMITMENT.
If you agreed to pay for nine months, you pay for nine months whether you use them or not. Whether you are paying month-by-month or not.

You can send the horse back (and the owner now has to pay board they didn't budget for), but unless the contract allows you to terminate at whim, it should be obvious that you still need to make the payments you signed up for and committed too.