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View Full Version : How to handle.. a Snooty Patootie!



cajunbelle
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:09 PM
I have been caught off guard by an older horsey woman. I know, respect your elders. I was grooming my mare and a woman who I had never met.... commented "she sure is fat" what would you do with her? Granted, I do have a QH.
Do I just let it go... or do I defend my round mare and my pride? I have to see this woman when she comes to the farm with a friend :(

SmartAlex
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:11 PM
"Shhh... don;t let her hear you say that...She prefers the term Rubenesque"

ddashaq
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:13 PM
I don't let other peoples comments/opinions bother me, so I would just ignore her. What does it matter if she thinks your mare is fat?

Ponyclubrocks
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:13 PM
I would just laugh and say "I think she is perfect" and go back to what I was doing. It just doesn't pay to engage with people like that. Don't explain, don't argue, just don't engage.

Lone
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:21 PM
I would say something like what Ponyclubrocks suggested. Maybe along the lines of 'thanks, I'm really pleased with her weight/condition right now' or 'thanks, I think she's looking very good this spring' and just leave it at that!

FineAlready
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:22 PM
Ignore her. She probably didn't mean anything by it, and even if she did, who cares?

myalter1
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:24 PM
i had a little dog once who was pretty chubby. When people would comment, my husband would respond something to the effect that we tolerate shapes in humans that we don't tolerate in dogs (or horses)...or more to the point, you could say to her, if my horse was a person, would you walk up and tell her she is fat?

Or you could always respond a la Churchill (amended of course) Why yes she is fat, but she can go on a diet, you however will always be obnoxious.

myalter1
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:25 PM
Oh btw, i DO agree not to engage, but sometimes people need to be spoken to.

Wellspotted
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:27 PM
Say, "She's a Quarter Horse"--because of course every knowledgeable horsewoman knows that Quarter Horses are often stockier than TBs! ;) If you can say it with the sort of look that assumes she is a knowledgeable horsewoman and that no further words on your part are necessary, that might work.

Or you could just look the woman up and down, a silent comment on her own figure, then turn back to your mare and give her (the mare) the sort of smile that says "Some people don't have any room to talk ... ":lol:

jetsmom
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:29 PM
Awww, don't take life so seriously. It really isn't that big of a deal. I probably would've just laughed, and made a joke out of it, like "yeah, she probably wants to ask the other horses.."Does this rider make my butt look fat?"

KateKat
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:40 PM
are you sure she didn't mean phat? :) I would just ignore it. You know your horse and what weight is healthy, as long as she doesn't start trying to give you nutrition or workout advice, just smile and carry on.

Wellspotted
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:48 PM
Awww, don't take life so seriously. It really isn't that big of a deal. I probably would've just laughed, and made a joke out of it, like "yeah, she probably wants to ask the other horses.."Does this rider make my butt look fat?"

Love it! Do you mind if I use that sometime with my QH any my friends' QHs? :lol:

In_
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:50 PM
I agree with others - she was just making a comment on your horse's physical condition. Nothing against you as an owner, your horse as a sweetheart, or anything else.

Of course - you could smile sweetly and reply with "IShe just has a lot of potential muscle"

Lucassb
Apr. 27, 2010, 12:53 PM
The southern standard reply for a comment like that is, "Well, bless your heart!"

You can add, "how kind of you to say so," if you like.

I personally probably wouldn't bother to respond, but might just look back with a polite, distant smile. She will get the message.

Ozone
Apr. 27, 2010, 01:41 PM
I'd say you are too lady.... smile and go about grooming ;)

Justice
Apr. 27, 2010, 01:46 PM
Where I come from, when someone says your horse is nice and fat, it's a compliment :) I think horses are like people, they're more likely to be nice when they are well-fed.

TheOrangeOne
Apr. 27, 2010, 01:46 PM
I show hunters, and spend half my life wondering if my horse is fat enough to take to a horse show. I would have said thank you and been all giddy for the next half hour. :lol:

MHM
Apr. 27, 2010, 01:46 PM
One polite sentence. Repeat as needed.

"Thanks for your interest."

tidy rabbit
Apr. 27, 2010, 01:50 PM
"she's not fat, she's fluffy"

She could have meant it as a compliment.

:)

mvp
Apr. 27, 2010, 02:26 PM
The southern standard reply for a comment like that is, "Well, bless your heart!"

You can add, "how kind of you to say so," if you like.

I personally probably wouldn't bother to respond, but might just look back with a polite, distant smile. She will get the message.

Yeah, depending on your mood, this and Crickets. Maybe you also look at her Deer In the Headlights at the same time. She'll get it.

Sometimes I'd defend my butterball horse in a good-natured and over the top way. I might hug his fat butt and say "But he's just so scrum-del-e-icious! When we finally BBQ him, I'll put you on the invite list." She'll get it that way, too.

Really, we old ladies have a hard time. We aren't considered eye candy. We know a lot and no one cares. If you can't use your experience to rain on someone else's parade, then what's the point of being an old know-it-all. Cut her some slack and be glad you aren't her. It's lonely being right all the time.

Arizona DQ
Apr. 27, 2010, 02:43 PM
Really, we old ladies have a hard time. We aren't considered eye candy. We know a lot and no one cares. If you can't use your experience to rain on someone else's parade, then what's the point of being an old know-it-all. Cut her some slack and be glad you aren't her. It's lonely being right all the time.

I can soo relate!!! ;)

Mel0309
Apr. 27, 2010, 03:22 PM
Where I come from, when someone says your horse is nice and fat, it's a compliment :) I think horses are like people, they're more likely to be nice when they are well-fed.

I agree with this. I am always telling my friend how fat her horses/ponies are. I like that look and she knows it's a compliment. Fat and shiny with dapples makes me swoon!

GGsuperpony
Apr. 27, 2010, 03:44 PM
I am thrilled when someone thinks my horse is fat, so I can't exactly relate, but you have lots of good advice here.

I'd add that whenever there are both positive and negative options for how to take a particular comment or behavior, I always choose the positive one. If I have only my assumption of good vs. bad intent, I might as well choose the good one and get to be happy about the meaning!

The third option would be to obtain proof of her intent, perhaps by waiting for it to come up again and engaging the lady in a conversation. You could follow up her weight comments with a smile, an "Oh yes?", and a polite, expectant look, and then let her explain. If she's the kind of person who makes unsolicited comments about the condition of strangers' horses, she is certainly the kind of person who will happily speak at length about her opinions. So let her explain, and once you know she is being rude, you can go from there. But honestly you'll probably discover that she meant nothing at all by it. I bet the next words out of her mouth will be to the effect of, "Got one just like her at home!" or "I'd love to have one that lives on air like that! No schlepping supplements all the time, I'm jealous!"

I hate to admit it, but I have found that 80% of what I consider to be slights directed at me or my horse are all in my head - although that may not be true of you or of anyone else.

eqsiu
Apr. 27, 2010, 03:53 PM
I show hunters, and spend half my life wondering if my horse is fat enough to take to a horse show. I would have said thank you and been all giddy for the next half hour. :lol:

As an eventer I have heard many people comment on my horse's thinness. Or ahem, her being "underdeveloped." I always wonder how a horse with an extra udder of fat and a tail sunken into her but can be thin...:lol:

mvp
Apr. 27, 2010, 04:57 PM
Now there was a somewhat rough-mannered trainer in my old neighborhood who always called my gelding "she" (and fat, which he was). I also don't think she (trainer) thought a whole lot of him/her as "it" (gelding) was less athletic and more broke than she liked in her own mares and geldings who always seemed to need special cussing and equipment.

It used to bug me. Then I realized that 1) There was so much else we didn't see eye-to-eye about that my horse's sex was a funny tip of an iceberg I was never going to explore.

2) My horse, who made sure he always had a good day and plenty of mint-feeding fans, could not give a rat's a$$. I could take a lesson from him. him *uncapitalized* if that's what makes the world go 'round a little smoother.

ponymom64
Apr. 27, 2010, 05:05 PM
I show hunters, and spend half my life wondering if my horse is fat enough to take to a horse show. I would have said thank you and been all giddy for the next half hour. :lol:

Me too - LOL!!!

but a nice Bless your heart, would make you feel better ;)

eclipse
Apr. 27, 2010, 06:12 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm finally going to get to use the "well bless your heart" tonight when I see our resident whack job at the barn!! 2 more months and she's going to be bothering some poor souls down in CA!!!! (PT me if your intersted or worried) :lol: :lol:

findeight
Apr. 27, 2010, 06:24 PM
Not having been there and heard her inflection or seen the context of the whole situation?

I'd take that as a compliment;).

If the old bat was being snarky, nothing beats Lucassb reminding us of that sickly sweet Southern standby "Well bless your heart".


Always makes me feel better when I use it and know it goes right over their heads...they think it actually means bless your heart. I do find satisfaction in that.

Running Fox Farm
Apr. 27, 2010, 06:52 PM
you could always respond a la Churchill (amended of course) Why yes she is fat, but she can go on a diet, you however will always be obnoxious.

Cajunbelle, they've given you a lot of great advice/ideas here! First, I would like to thank Myalter1 because, I've wondered for many years whose quote that was. Thanks! You might want to also think of other adjectives you might enjoy better than "obnoxious'. And Lucassb, I'm living in Aiken right now so " bless your heart" has become very dear to me. MVP's BBQ idea is off-da-chain I plan to use it the next time someone comments on my whaley Hanoverian girl that I love to death( her butt is to die for!) And ,was this ladies name Beezie, Anne, Louise... I hope you get my point. When any comment is made, always consider the source. And finally, if you are happy with your horse the way he is, frankly my dear, who gives a ... well, you know how the expression goes.;)

findeight
Apr. 27, 2010, 07:04 PM
W.C. Fields in the movie "It's a Gift" speaking to a land speculator trying to buy the ratty place he bought sight unseen and drove all the way across the country to reach (you thought the Griswalds were funny, watch this...).

Guy in suit "You're drunk".

W.C. Fields "Yeah...and you're crazy. Tomorrow I'll be sober. You'll be crazy for the rest of your life".

I sometimes think of that when somebody makes a stupid and personal remark.

Silk
Apr. 27, 2010, 07:11 PM
Where I come from, when someone says your horse is nice and fat, it's a compliment :) I think horses are like people, they're more likely to be nice when they are well-fed.

Me too....and I have two hard keepers so I consider it a compliment as well:) When I say I like my ponies fat, I mean it. Not obese, but definitely round. Anyone see Rumba's video when he won the big Derby? he was pretty round, and I thought he looked great!

I would have replied with, "yup...that's how we like to see them in the hunter ring".

doublesstable
Apr. 27, 2010, 08:39 PM
I agree that depending on her tone - - do you know this lady at all? You said she's snooty - patootie... so you must have some history?

As an "older" horse woman myself - try to keep my mouth shut and what others do is not my business (unless of course it affects me, my family or animals)....

So did she say it as your horse is fat (dangerous)?
Or your horse is fat (cute)?

ETC....

I would blow it off, unless your horse is fat and you should talk to your vet or trainer about it.

Then once you do -- if she says it again you can repsond by saying:

I have confirmed with my vet my horse is fine... (and of course under your breath you can "think" - - and why is it your business anyway - - and - - did I ask you for your opinion......

If she is a boarder at your barn I wouldn't burn the bridge (you may never know - - this snooty patootie may really help you one day)

equidae
Apr. 27, 2010, 08:42 PM
One polite sentence. Repeat as needed.

"Thanks for your interest."

this.

equidae
Apr. 27, 2010, 08:44 PM
I can't STAND people who voice opinions about a horse they don't own, to someone they aren't friends with. It's inappropriate and totally against the barn etiquette I'm used to.

I'd have glared/stared at her for a second, given her a 'look', so she knows I found her comment inappropriate, and then just ignored her.

Phaxxton
Apr. 27, 2010, 08:55 PM
I can't STAND people who voice opinions about a horse they don't own, to someone they aren't friends with. It's inappropriate and totally against the barn etiquette I'm used to.


Same here, but I just let it go now. I've had so much worse said about me and to me by barn know-it-alls (truthfully more like barn-don't-know-much-es), something this benign would probably just make me laugh. There are just a lot of busybodies out there who think the rest of us care about their opinions. ;) It's best to just get over it and be confident in yourself and your horsemanship.

I admit, though, IF her tone was condescening or nasty, I'd probably have looked at her quizzically and said, "I'm sorry, have we met?" :confused: It would depend on the mood she caught me in. :lol: I'm just as likely to say, "Oh good, so am I. I like that we match now." :lol:

Still, it's really not something I'd get my panties in a wad over. People say stupid things all the time, and too many people don't have a filter. I try to expend as little energy on those people as possible.

staceyk
Apr. 27, 2010, 09:10 PM
I thought you were going to have to respond to something REALLY rude. That woman is a lightweight in the world of meangirls. For example..

I'm walking by a horse in cross ties and the horse poops. The owner, then about 28 years old, was talking to a group of her friends. She says, "Hah! My horse took one look at Stacey and took a sh*t."

Totally unprovoked! I was just walking by. I just kept walking, too stunned to respond. Some people just never quite grow up, and the best approach IMHO is to let it roll off your back.

A comment about a fat horse could really just be a well-meaning, tactless person. But I know it can get your dander up.

equidae
Apr. 27, 2010, 09:23 PM
I thought you were going to have to respond to something REALLY rude. That woman is a lightweight in the world of meangirls. For example..

I'm walking by a horse in cross ties and the horse poops. The owner, then about 28 years old, was talking to a group of her friends. She says, "Hah! My horse took one look at Stacey and took a sh*t."

Totally unprovoked! I was just walking by. I just kept walking, too stunned to respond. Some people just never quite grow up, and the best approach IMHO is to let it roll off your back.

A comment about a fat horse could really just be a well-meaning, tactless person. But I know it can get your dander up.

THATS AWFUL! How classless of them.

cajunbelle
Apr. 27, 2010, 09:36 PM
I thought you were going to have to respond to something REALLY rude. That woman is a lightweight in the world of meangirls. For example..

I'm walking by a horse in cross ties and the horse poops. The owner, then about 28 years old, was talking to a group of her friends. She says, "Hah! My horse took one look at Stacey and took a sh*t."

Totally unprovoked! I was just walking by. I just kept walking, too stunned to respond. Some people just never quite grow up, and the best approach IMHO is to let it roll off your back.

A comment about a fat horse could really just be a well-meaning, tactless person. But I know it can get your dander up.
Wow, how rude... I don't even know what to say.. about that
one!:eek::eek:


I was just feeling crummy when she felt the need to "say it again" as others approached. I just didn't know how to respond... so I said nothing!

Thanks for all of the helpful wisdom!:)

Phaxxton
Apr. 27, 2010, 09:38 PM
I thought you were going to have to respond to something REALLY rude. That woman is a lightweight in the world of meangirls. For example..

I'm walking by a horse in cross ties and the horse poops. The owner, then about 28 years old, was talking to a group of her friends. She says, "Hah! My horse took one look at Stacey and took a sh*t."

Totally unprovoked! I was just walking by. I just kept walking, too stunned to respond. Some people just never quite grow up, and the best approach IMHO is to let it roll off your back.

A comment about a fat horse could really just be a well-meaning, tactless person. But I know it can get your dander up.

Her horse must have just been stunned to see someone with class.

hntrjmprpro45
Apr. 27, 2010, 09:44 PM
You could respond with "ya, as she aged she has gained some weight. I am sure YOU can relate!"

LShipley
Apr. 27, 2010, 10:28 PM
Fat and happy!!

I can relate to the urge to want to make a snarky, pointed comment to shut up a fellow boarder. But, barn drama at any level is no fun, and laughing it off and keeping your distance from that boarder as much as possible is a better for you in the long run.

Jive
Apr. 27, 2010, 10:41 PM
"She's not fat, she's Pleasantly Plump"

As a TB owner (though I wouldn't call mine a hard keeper and he is quite tubby) I'm another one here that considers it a compliment when someone calls my horse fat. Though he prefers to be called a tank.

staceyk
Apr. 27, 2010, 11:03 PM
Can I live vicariously through you? It is fun to imagine snappy comebacks, even if you don't say them....

bascher
Apr. 27, 2010, 11:36 PM
"she's not fat, she's fluffy"

She could have meant it as a compliment.

:)

This is one of my all time favorite responses...I use it to describe one of my cats quite frequently!

RugBug
Apr. 28, 2010, 12:55 AM
I can't STAND people who voice opinions about a horse they don't own, to someone they aren't friends with. It's inappropriate and totally against the barn etiquette I'm used to.


What if they say it's the most beautiful horse they ever seen? I'm sure you dont' feel the same way then, right?

I guess I don't really understand why people get their knickers all twisted over comments. Is the mare fat? If she is and you want her that way, why get upset? If she is and you don't want her that way, a nice 'yea, we're working on it' acknowledges the issue. If she isn't fat and the person is out of their mind, an easy "Hrmmm, I think she's perfect" works.

You choose to let a comment have power. You don't have to be upset by it.

Fun Size
Apr. 28, 2010, 01:20 AM
"fat and happy, that's how we like 'em!"

That is what I always say, anyway. My boy gets a little...fluffy...when he isn't on a 6 day a week schedule (T/O, lunge, or ride each day) and laid up or something.

:D

doublesstable
Apr. 28, 2010, 04:00 AM
"fat and happy, that's how we like 'em!"

That is what I always say, anyway. My boy gets a little...fluffy...when he isn't on a 6 day a week schedule (T/O, lunge, or ride each day) and laid up or something.

:D

Wasn't that in a movie? Ummmm - - Ice Age... Manny the Mammoth says - I'm not fat it's all this hair, it makes me look poofy....

Equilibrium
Apr. 28, 2010, 07:00 AM
Now see being the proud owner of a Warmblood/TB air fern, I would have said "I know that's why her nickname is Lady Beergut and no she's not pregnant!" Then I would have added in question to what she does " whatever the heck she feels like!" That's not true but it knocks them off guard.

I would have said all this happily as if I were receiving a compliment!

Terri

And yes, I do call my 4yo Lady Beergut. Not as bad as she use to be, but it still fits!

tidy rabbit
Apr. 28, 2010, 08:30 AM
"She's not fat, she's Pleasantly Plump"


Back in my home town of Aptos California, there was, or maybe still is, a store for plus sized ladies called PlumPretty, which always made me laugh. It would be a good show name for a big fat mare! LOL

equidae
Apr. 28, 2010, 09:49 AM
What if they say it's the most beautiful horse they ever seen? I'm sure you dont' feel the same way then, right?

I guess I don't really understand why people get their knickers all twisted over comments. Is the mare fat? If she is and you want her that way, why get upset? If she is and you don't want her that way, a nice 'yea, we're working on it' acknowledges the issue. If she isn't fat and the person is out of their mind, an easy "Hrmmm, I think she's perfect" works.



Deleted my original response to just say 'Oh yea, I'd be livid if you said my horse was beautiful. Yup, that sure is shameful!


Stupid question, stupid answer.

gottagrey
Apr. 28, 2010, 11:16 AM
I'm not seeing this as being snooty patootie but then again, I don't hear the tone/voice inflection as you did when the woman commented on your mare. At my barn we often comment on the weight status of our horses... recently I exclaimed that one of them had cellulite - it's all in good fun. I would say though that having a horse too fat is not a good thing... I would suggest not to take it so personally, and would also offer up a simple comment like yes, she definitely an easy keeper.. No use you getting snooty patootie too.

RugBug
Apr. 28, 2010, 11:16 AM
Deleted my original response to just say 'Oh yea, I'd be livid if you said my horse was beautiful. Yup, that sure is shameful!


Stupid question, stupid answer.

Well, be more specific if you don't want "stupid questions'. You clearly said you can't STAND when people give their opinions. Maybe you should've said negative opinions...positive are just fine. :rolleyes:

I think it's kind of stupid to get upset over a comment. It might be true, it might not be true. It might have been a compliment. People are too damn ready to be offended these days.

sirensong4
Apr. 28, 2010, 02:30 PM
"She's fat!"

"You're fat!" :mad: *glare*

Of course, my off-the-cuff responses don't make me a lot of friends. But whatever. I have plenty of friends already. :cool:

Ridesrealfast
Apr. 28, 2010, 02:30 PM
Really, we old ladies have a hard time. We aren't considered eye candy. We know a lot and no one cares. If you can't use your experience to rain on someone else's parade, then what's the point of being an old know-it-all. Cut her some slack and be glad you aren't her. It's lonely being right all the time.

MVP - you just made my day!:winkgrin::D But, honestly I would NEVER :eek: walk up to an someone and tell them that they have a fat horse. I am more of the make a face and roll eyes type.:lol:;):no:

Adelita
Apr. 28, 2010, 04:07 PM
You could say what I always say (with a smile): "in my opinion, a fat horse is a happy horse!"

Timex
Apr. 28, 2010, 04:25 PM
A little clarification: this older woman is one of those who just HAVE to 'keep up with the joneses' and is quite nasty and snooty when she thinks she needs to impress people. And the mare in question is actually on the slender side, I wouldn't mind seeing a little more weight on her! But don't worry, cajunbelle, she won't ever be a boarder or client here with that behavior and attitude. The boss man would kill her. And if she shows up tonight, and opens her mouth enough to make paying clients uncomfortable, she might very well be asked (nicely) to leave. And NOT come back. I am in NO mood today!!!!!

goeslikestink
Apr. 28, 2010, 04:52 PM
I have been caught off guard by an older horsey woman. I know, respect your elders. I was grooming my mare and a woman who I had never met.... commented "she sure is fat" what would you do with her? Granted, I do have a QH.
Do I just let it go... or do I defend my round mare and my pride? I have to see this woman when she comes to the farm with a friend :(

ignore her or say thank you i bare that in mind and then ignore her
your horse at the end of the day

Renn/aissance
Apr. 28, 2010, 05:36 PM
"Bless your heart!"
or
"She's a really well rounded mare" (with a big smile.)

HowDoILook
Apr. 28, 2010, 08:19 PM
"She's fat!"

"You're fat!" :mad: *glare*

This made my day :D Cause that is exactly what I would say.

On the topic of fat ponies and comments about them, I had a conversation with a lady while riding my pony (who is a gelding) while warming up. The conversation went similar to this:

"WOW. your pony is pretty fat"
"Oh yeah. he's ready to have the baby any day now"
"you're still riding her?!?!"
"He's a gelding... im just kidding"

Day went on until the secratary came up to me and warned me that if I continued to ride my pregnant mare that day, I would be asked to leave. HES A GELDING!!!!! I just kinda had to laugh it off and inform him of his gender. We sure did get a laugh out of it though :D

equidae
Apr. 28, 2010, 08:38 PM
Well, be more specific if you don't want "stupid questions'. You clearly said you can't STAND when people give their opinions. Maybe you should've said negative opinions...positive are just fine. :rolleyes:

I think it's kind of stupid to get upset over a comment. It might be true, it might not be true. It might have been a compliment. People are too damn ready to be offended these days.

I don't think I should be more specific just because you want to be obtuse, but that's just me. I figured it would have been a given that I would not be upset by positive opinions and that I wouldn't have to clarify such obviousness.

*Just to make it clear to anyone else that may have been confused by my statement: No, I would not be offended if someone were to compliment my horse! ;)

I sincerely apologize for not being more clear in my wording!:lol:

equidae
Apr. 28, 2010, 08:44 PM
I think it's kind of stupid to get upset over a comment. It might be true, it might not be true. It might have been a compliment. People are too damn ready to be offended these days.

I also find it ironic that you, knowing the type of comments you tend to make on here, would be confused as to why someone would get offended easily 'these days'.

Gee- I wonder! People can be freaking rude! That's why.

Kind of getting the hint that you're 'one of those' who would make a comment like 'your horse is fat'. And then get pissed when the owner found it uncalled for. You get what you give people.. Play nice.

js
Apr. 29, 2010, 09:48 AM
I have two fluffy horses in my barn, I tell people who make comments about their size that I always ride horses with bigger butts then me, to help make mine look smaller. You could have said something along those lines and finished it with "something you might consider". Granted that would haver really miffed her but she probably would have gotten the message.

I always say it jokingly of course.

Zu Zu
Apr. 29, 2010, 09:57 AM
Smile and then ignore.

RugBug
Apr. 29, 2010, 11:06 AM
I also find it ironic that you, knowing the type of comments you tend to make on here, would be confused as to why someone would get offended easily 'these days'.

Gee- I wonder! People can be freaking rude! That's why.

Kind of getting the hint that you're 'one of those' who would make a comment like 'your horse is fat'. And then get pissed when the owner found it uncalled for. You get what you give people.. Play nice.

The type of comments I make on here? That's funny. I play pretty nice, most of the time. :D But I won't blow smoke.

(edited to add: I did a little search on your posts because I was really curious how, in just over one month of your membership, you would mark me as "that" poster. I see that I called you out on a what sounded like a snotty comment about schooling shows. That probably did it right there. I also see that you have had your fair share, probably more than your fair share seeing that you have 130 posts and 30+ days of membership, of "heated" comments. I'm feeling a little pot/kettle situation here. Talk to me in seven years and see how high your tolerance level is)

For the most part, I wouldn't make a comment that someone's horse was fat, unless they asked me about it's condition. But I do think people can't stand to hear the truth. Wouldn't want to burst someone's bubble, now would we?

As for the OP, based on more info added, it sounds like there was no way this woman was being nice. It doesn't even sound like she's a regular presence around the barn. Her comment was uncalled for.

MintHillFarm
Apr. 29, 2010, 11:23 AM
I'm not seeing this as being snooty patootie but then again, I don't hear the tone/voice inflection as you did when the woman commented on your mare. At my barn we often comment on the weight status of our horses... recently I exclaimed that one of them had cellulite - it's all in good fun. I would say though that having a horse too fat is not a good thing... I would suggest not to take it so personally, and would also offer up a simple comment like yes, she definitely an easy keeper.. No use you getting snooty patootie too.

I agree...

Just curious, is the horse too fat?

REH
Apr. 29, 2010, 01:29 PM
I wouldn't see it as an insult, and just let it roll.

On a related note, my horse who is affectionately nicknamed "Atti the Fatti" is, well, a bit pot-bellied, maybe more like a well-fed tick. He got a little lean this winter showing in FL and then came home to rest and fatten back up--when i took him out to a show this past weekend a lot of people commented to me that he looked particularly fat. You know what, once I took a step back, I think I had overdone the "putting back on weight" efforts. Glad to have other people watching out for him, no biggy. Even when unsolicited, most people are well intended. Process whether they are well-intended and then just smile and nod.

cajunbelle
Apr. 29, 2010, 02:29 PM
I agree...

Just curious, is the horse too fat?


The picture is from a Show on April 18th, she is wearing a cooler..... but you can tell, she is not fat, I think she could use, even more weight. This woman obviously wanted me feeling yucky about my horse.

http://inlinethumb49.webshots.com/43952/2750361300105518453S425x425Q85.jpg

RugBug
Apr. 29, 2010, 02:33 PM
[quote=MintHillFarm;4835773]I agree...

Just curious, is the horse too fat?[/QUOTE


The picture is from a Show on April 18th, she is wearing a cooler..... but you can tell, she is not fat, I think she could use, even more weight. This woman obviously wanted me feeling yucky about my horse.

http://inlinethumb49.webshots.com/43952/2750361300105518453S425x425Q85.jpg

Nope...she doesn't look fat. Hard to tell with the cooler, but I would expect a "Fat" horse to fill the cooler out more. ;)

In that case, I'd just ignore the woman and let it roll off.

GGsuperpony
Apr. 29, 2010, 02:39 PM
My mother has a great quote for this too.

When the subject of working out or getting in shape comes up, she always says, "Oh, I'm in shape. Round is a shape."

But your mare doesn't look dangerously fat or even regular fat to me.

MHM
Apr. 29, 2010, 02:50 PM
Not really related to the OP's situation, but...

All you people who respond to any (perceived) rudeness with more rudeness- don't you think there is already enough rudeness in the world?

Why add to it without a really good reason?

REH
Apr. 29, 2010, 02:56 PM
Your horse isn't fat at all--if it's a hunter, are you sure she wasn't saying to fatten it up more :lol:

This is too fat: :D

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4718381&l=6144cb72b3&id=545827564

SquareOxer
Apr. 29, 2010, 03:19 PM
reply as if you hadn't paid attention to what she said. Something along the lines of, "Aww, you too!" as if she just said "have a good day" or something. That way you're telling her she's fat and that you dont care enough to listen to her speak :)

laniethomas
Apr. 29, 2010, 03:40 PM
"She's looking thin" is definitely more insulting then commenting about the horse being fat! I would take it as a compliment, when people talk about my horses weight I usually just tell them that she's comfortable with her body ;)

BLBGP
Apr. 29, 2010, 04:12 PM
The picture is from a Show on April 18th, she is wearing a cooler..... but you can tell, she is not fat, I think she could use, even more weight. This woman obviously wanted me feeling yucky about my horse.

http://inlinethumb49.webshots.com/43952/2750361300105518453S425x425Q85.jpg


Only you can make yourself feel yucky about your horse.

SuperSTB
Apr. 29, 2010, 04:16 PM
"We are preparing her for the Thanksgiving Day Parade- she is the newest float don't you know!"

Or

"Thank you- we call her sofa"

Ride'emCO
Apr. 29, 2010, 04:32 PM
This is one of my all time favorite responses...I use it to describe one of my cats quite frequently!

That's one of my favorites too!

This thread reminds me of a conversation I recently had with one of the trainers at my barn. I told her my horse was looking a little porky, and she said, "That's not fat! That's muscle! At least that's what I call mine..." :lol:

FineAlready
Apr. 29, 2010, 05:00 PM
reply as if you hadn't paid attention to what she said. Something along the lines of, "Aww, you too!" as if she just said "have a good day" or something. That way you're telling her she's fat and that you dont care enough to listen to her speak :)

LOL!!! Okay, I take back my "ignore it" comment, and replace it with this. This is hilarious and perfect. I can't want for the perfect opportunity to use it myself someday.

equidae
Apr. 29, 2010, 08:03 PM
(edited to add: I did a little search on your posts because I was really curious how, in just over one month of your membership, you would mark me as "that" poster. I see that I called you out on a what sounded like a snotty comment about schooling shows. That probably did it right there. I also see that you have had your fair share, probably more than your fair share seeing that you have 130 posts and 30+ days of membership, of "heated" comments. I'm feeling a little pot/kettle situation here. Talk to me in seven years and see how high your tolerance level is)


Oh cool, a cyber stalker :) You should probably get out more.. I'm really not that interesting. I don't usually comment just for the sake of it, so that's why some comments may appear 'heated'? But I don't think there's too many of those either, since I try to be pretty nice. I did get annoyed in the Michael Morrissey thread, however, at that one poster who kept criticizing MM's ride to that water jump. But I was definitely not alone in that one. Haha.

But, I remember that situation now. Did you read my response to you about the schooling shows? I didn't think you did because you never responded, but I thought I clarified it pretty well for you that it was NOT a dis on the schooling show. At all. That would have been very hypocritical.

Anyways, this thread isn't about me so.. carry on. ;)

equidae
Apr. 29, 2010, 08:07 PM
The picture is from a Show on April 18th, she is wearing a cooler..... but you can tell, she is not fat, I think she could use, even more weight. This woman obviously wanted me feeling yucky about my horse.

http://inlinethumb49.webshots.com/43952/2750361300105518453S425x425Q85.jpg

Not fat! Maybe the woman was just jealous ;)

rupenthal2
Apr. 29, 2010, 10:21 PM
Take it as a complement! I always like my horses a bit on the "puffy" side. Who wants a skinny, scrawny horse?

DandyMatiz
May. 6, 2010, 06:07 AM
Isn't "she looks fat" a compliment?

Though I must admit, I can understand. I am becoming irrationally upset because people at my barn keep calling my gorgeously grey arabian, That Purty Blue Roan. he's in the paddock by the road (bc the barn is between that and the girl pasture. He gets to look at the geldings.. hehehe.. which doesn't thrill mister stud muffin i will say), and people will stop into the barn and come to the office and ask about the "blue roan" out there. *sigh*. (No he doesn't look roan at all).

Tini Sea Soldier
May. 6, 2010, 12:19 PM
Mine was always fat when he was showing... and he was a TB. Anytime someone commented on his weight, I'd say... "It's his race-track withdrawl syndrome... he's eating to make up for the anorexic years!"

You can also be more sarcastic and say... "Yeah, she just quit smoking and the pounds just keep piling on! Maybe I should get her the gum?"

smileyrileyxoxo
May. 6, 2010, 05:15 PM
in my barn, that would be a great compliment :)

hollynanne
May. 6, 2010, 05:38 PM
This made my day :D Cause that is exactly what I would say.

On the topic of fat ponies and comments about them, I had a conversation with a lady while riding my pony (who is a gelding) while warming up. The conversation went similar to this:

"WOW. your pony is pretty fat"
"Oh yeah. he's ready to have the baby any day now"
"you're still riding her?!?!"
"He's a gelding... im just kidding"

Day went on until the secratary came up to me and warned me that if I continued to ride my pregnant mare that day, I would be asked to leave. HES A GELDING!!!!! I just kinda had to laugh it off and inform him of his gender. We sure did get a laugh out of it though :D

Bwah ha ha! I like it! :yes:

There was a 'trainer' that was keeping her mare in the pasture next to my mare and gelding. My mare is... well... apparently choosing a 'different' lifestyle... She promptly went into heat the day this mare moved in next door.

One day, this trainer drove by and rolled down her window.
her: "your gelding really seems to like my mare!"
me: "the big bay thoroughbred? that's my mare, the smaller draft-cross is my gelding."
her: "you sure?"
me: "that she is a mare? or that she is mine? yes and yes"

She then rolled up her window and drove away. Hasn't talked to me since. Was it something I said? :lol:

OP- there are asshats everywhere. It sounds like your BM/BO/trainer/whomever responded that knows you and your mare has it under control. (score!)

MintHillFarm
May. 6, 2010, 08:44 PM
The picture is from a Show on April 18th, she is wearing a cooler..... but you can tell, she is not fat, I think she could use, even more weight. This woman obviously wanted me feeling yucky about my horse.

http://inlinethumb49.webshots.com/43952/2750361300105518453S425x425Q85.jpg

She certainly doesn't appear to be too fat...She looks great.
Sometimes people are rude just to get a reaction.
I wouldn't dwell on it...

DancingQueen
May. 6, 2010, 09:49 PM
Not to try to highjack or anything, but the purty blue roan post made me think of a horse I knew back in Europe who's name (should remain unknown to protect the innocent) rhymed with f***er.
This horse was no better nor any worse then his barn mates but just for his unfortunate name he was always known as "the f***er".

I don't think that the guy who owned him ever knew and for certain nobody at the stables would be so mean as to call his horse by it's nickname to his face. I recall walking by him on the crossties a few times though and as I do stroke his butt in passing and almost letting a "hiya, f***er, howya doin today" out of my mouth. LOL

Realizing this is not the same and that fat old bitch should just shut her trap. Just reminicing.

MichiganHunter91
May. 6, 2010, 10:17 PM
Usually if someone makes a fat joke about my horses I just laugh and joke about it. I have a warmblood mare who has donkey ears and cow belly. When someone says something about her I just laugh it off.