PDA

View Full Version : Spin-Off: Who else here has been riding around in the cul-de-sac.



Sabine
Mar. 18, 2010, 02:30 AM
from Ton's quote....in the Karl vs. Heuschman thread...

who feels like they have been....
1. erring
2. training in the wrong way
3. stuck with an unsuited horse
4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment
5. wanting more but cant afford it...


spill your frustrations here...let's see if we can find some solutions...

Alagirl
Mar. 18, 2010, 02:36 AM
I don't think I even got that far....

ToN Farm
Mar. 18, 2010, 09:15 AM
from Ton's quote....in the Karl vs. Heuschman thread...

who feels like they have been....
1. erring
2. training in the wrong way
3. stuck with an unsuited horse
4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment
5. wanting more but cant afford it...


spill your frustrations here...let's see if we can find some solutions...

1. erring: I'm not sure what this means, but it probably applies to me.

2. training in the wrong way: Probably

3. stuck with an unsuited horse: LOL. Never had a suitable one, really.

4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment: Sadly, I can't use this excuse.

5. wanting more but cant afford it...: I can't afford it now, but there was a time I could, so I can't use this excuse.

I think that all riders reach a point where they are the best they can be. That's true of most sports. The worst thing is to have long term bad habits that are impossible to change. Yes, impossible. You know how when you are in the passenger seat of a car, and you sometimes automatically put your foot down on the brake? Well, that happens when riding, too; i.e. the spontaneous action. It's great when it's the right thing to do, but awful when it's the wrong thing.

Just when you think you've made it out of the cul-de-sac with one horse, ride another that exposes that you aren't as good as you thought you were.

At some point, some of us just have to say "I suck" and accept it.

Silver~Image~Farm
Mar. 18, 2010, 09:16 AM
Honestly?

I think we ALL spend time in the cul de sac......any ammy that says they don't/haven't either ain't ridin that much or hasn't gotten outta the cul de sac......

If we can't even laugh at OURSELVES :no:.......I found this remark VERY amusing and also applicable:yes:......

Of course I did once have Mjr. Bella Buttykay tell me my (then 4yr. old greengreen) horse "he is laughing at you".....:lol:......Yes, he certainly WAS.....still we worked thru alot of stuff together (despite many years of ME being stuck in the cul de sac:winkgrin:).......

You can find cul de sackers ALL over the net......just read a few horse bbs and you'll see it.....;)......:cool:

suzier444
Mar. 18, 2010, 10:29 AM
I definitely feel like this sometimes. It seems like people who improve at dressage have either time, money, or natural talent, and I have none of those things. I envy the naturally gifted riders who don't need to ask 100000 questions to understand, who just feel the right thing instantly.

That has made me frustrated in the past, to the point I'd quit riding. However, I recently decided to stop thinking about any of that and just make my focus very narrow rather than big-picture. I focus really hard in my lessons and then I focus on making my practice rides like my lessons. Outside of my lessons and rides, I think about my lessons and rides -- the nuts and bolts stuff. I try NOT to allow myself to worry about how fast I'm progressing or how much I can't afford or how much easier it seems for other people. And I think my cul-de-sac has gotten a little bit bigger!

ShotenStar
Mar. 18, 2010, 10:49 AM
The only one I can claim is # 3 ... and I'm not sure 'unsuitable' is the right descriptor. Difficult, high-maintenance, challenging, strong .... all those work.

Edited to add: sometimes the cul-de-sac is a nicely safe place. Eight meter circles can become a meditation.

*star*

Silver~Image~Farm
Mar. 18, 2010, 10:51 AM
I definitely feel like this sometimes. It seems like people who improve at dressage have either time, money, or natural talent, and I have none of those things. I envy the naturally gifted riders who don't need to ask 100000 questions to understand, who just feel the right thing instantly.

That has made me frustrated in the past, to the point I'd quit riding. However, I recently decided to stop thinking about any of that and just make my focus very narrow rather than big-picture. I focus really hard in my lessons and then I focus on making my practice rides like my lessons. Outside of my lessons and rides, I think about my lessons and rides -- the nuts and bolts stuff. I try NOT to allow myself to worry about how fast I'm progressing or how much I can't afford or how much easier it seems for other people. And I think my cul-de-sac has gotten a little bit bigger!

GOOD FOR YOU!!!:cool:......Imo there is nothing wrong with being hypercritical of your OWN riding and even making similar observations of others while educating/improving yourself........Ironically it seems that folks who brag the most about driving a Maserati on the autobahn aren't any different from the rest of us......Except that they are unable to recognize (or admit?) their own shortcomings/need to improve:yes:......

From my own personal experience with some really skilled and successful trainers it is eye opening and (for me) inspiring to see them OPENLY acknowledge their need to fine tune their own riding in order to improve the performance results of their lamborghini partners!....

Beware of those who "pretend" publicly that they are humble AND loudly proclaim their own personal skill and success......I recognize these riders as more in need of "validation" and know that deep down on some level they realize they aren't really winning the Olympic medals......and at the same time they may be locally successful and certainly THAT is an accomplishment as well......

The challenge as a rider comes in recognizing and accepting where you REALLY are.....and striving to improve yourself while moving toward your own goals.....incorporating critiques that apply (no matter the source or motivation of said source).....I have found that an ability to chuckle at oneself can be very helpful in this difficult process of personal acceptance, esp. in a "competitive" person. fwiw.:winkgrin:

NOMIOMI1
Mar. 18, 2010, 10:57 AM
I have felt like this for periods ;)

But I said it once, and Ill say it again, good instruction makes ALL the difference.

Ive seen poorly made horses, with poorly made riders, go very far with a good instructor.

Myself included :)

mademoiselle
Mar. 18, 2010, 12:27 PM
I'm not really in a cul de sac because i feel that I'm still moving forward and I make a point to move forward.

But sometimes I feel that if I could afford more that 1 or 2 lessons a months, things would be much easier.

I work very hard, I'm very commited, I have the right horse, the supportive husband ...
So, now all I need is to play the lottery to afford more lessons and clinics.

At least, the cool thing about dressage is that you can read books and magazines and watch online videos and learn things. I always try to look at the bright side.

millerra
Mar. 18, 2010, 01:42 PM
My excuses for being in the cul-de-sac

I don't even know where to start but...

To err in training is to be a human. To forgive is to be a horse.
(I wish I was poetic and could come up w/ something better)

my horse is suitable for me.

And I've decided that I'm now at the point in my life where having fun is far more of a goal than anything else. My horses and showing are my fun time. I have to much other stuff going on to stress over a horse show or my riding. If I did - oi - the thought makes me exhausted.

My solution is to simply not worry about it and have fun in my cul-de-sac.

rugbygirl
Mar. 18, 2010, 01:54 PM
At some point, some of us just have to say "I suck" and accept it.

I've never deluded myself otherwise. It helps to have had realistic instruction. No, I am evidently NOT a natural riding talent. Yes, I can still enjoy my horse while people get promoted to the next lesson/level around me.

Some poor horse is just going to have to put up with me. I try to make it up to them with excellent grooming, feed and a light schedule. It isn't all bad being rugbygirl's horse. :D

People who are offended by my suckitude can bite me. My dream as a little girl was to have a house with horses. I achieved it through hard work and dedication to my goal. THAT IS MY SUCCESS. The rest of what I do with horses is gravy. They should be happy that I am taking lessons and showing, period. I could be *gasp* fumbling along without instruction and just puttering around on trails! The horror! I'll get better at my own rate, and will probably be slower than someone who bought a really nice horse and has time to take lessons all the time. Don't push YOUR definition of success onto me and my horse. I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU HAVE!!!

esdressage
Mar. 18, 2010, 01:57 PM
Yes, absolutely, but I don't really feel badly about it. I'm kind of a let the bad feelings slide on by kind of person, so I'll take my loops 'round the cul de sac and then happily drive onward. :lol:

1. erring - If I didn't, I'd be teaching the lessons, not taking them. I tell my daughter all the time, so I'd be terrible if I didn't believe it myself: we all make mistakes, and the only real mistake would be if you didn't learn from the things you do wrong, pick yourself up, and go try to do better the next time.

2. training in the wrong way - Well, yeah, see above. I'm lucky to have a great trainer right now who's helping me do better.

3. stuck with an unsuited horse - Actually, I don't really think so. I love my horse and was really lucky to *happen* into owning her for nearly nothing… not grand prix material, but she has all the potential I need at this time.

4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment - Sure, it's hectic in my world, but we can all find a way to make time. Mutitasking is our friend!

5. wanting more but cant afford it... I probably could if my husband wouldn't want to keel over at the idea, but what I want more of before I do that is time, so I'll wait till I have no more kids in the house, full-time work, etc. and can actually devote myself entirely to "the" horse, when I get there! And then I'll sweet talk hubby about it :)

Mozart
Mar. 18, 2010, 03:34 PM
Where's the box to check #6....all of the above! LOL

pintopiaffe
Mar. 18, 2010, 05:00 PM
Oh, I thought you were speaking literally.

As, on the road, on pavement, because it is Spring. :uhoh:

Which is "me" (waves hand from the back of the short bus)

and I guess this is #'s 4 & 5? No indoor, hours/days of work don't allow trailering to indoor just at this moment... and career/location/life choices mean I can't afford to just send the horse to training. Which I wouldn't want, anyway... but in March and April, it's mighty tempting... ;)

Besides, I live on a mountain. Walking on pavement roads uphill and downhill for a few weeks is a fabulous base. ;)

mp
Mar. 18, 2010, 05:12 PM
I don't even know where to start but...

To err in training is to be a human. To forgive is to be a horse.
(I wish I was poetic and could come up w/ something better)

To err is human; to forgive, equine. :yes:

lizathenag
Mar. 18, 2010, 05:15 PM
as long as the cul-de-sac has good footing, I am content!


actually, I spend almost all my time on the trail and the horse and I are very happy.

swgarasu
Mar. 18, 2010, 06:23 PM
from Ton's quote....in the Karl vs. Heuschman thread...

who feels like they have been....
1. erring
2. training in the wrong way
3. stuck with an unsuited horse
4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment
5. wanting more but cant afford it...


spill your frustrations here...let's see if we can find some solutions...

Hee,
1. Yeah, I make mistakes and have bad habits.
2. Not really
3. Kind of - talented but challenging.
4. Yes, but I love my life so I wouldn't change most of it.
5. Yes

I dunno, I have mostly accepted that I am not where I wish I was. But I have been faced with nothing, so getting back to where I was (or near it) is more wonderful than it used to be. :)

But yeah, once I get "hungry" again it might be nice to know how to get out of the cul-de-sac... :)

Vesper Sparrow
Mar. 18, 2010, 09:47 PM
This winter has in many ways been a total write-off in terms of accomplishing the things I needed to in order to get to TR level on my greenie. Particularly when I compare myself with other riders at the barn, I'm way behind on my stated goals. However, I do have a plan now and it may work--maybe I'll get there halfway through the summer.

On the other hand, I've accomplished other things in my riding that are less tangible but maybe more important, like riding through stuff that I could not have done six months ago.

So sometimes you think you are in a cul-de-sac but you've actually made progress, only not in the areas you thought you needed.

joiedevie99
Mar. 18, 2010, 10:37 PM
1. erring - Of course- but I try hard to make new mistakes every day

2. training in the wrong way - No. I have wonderful trainers who gladly inform me when I'm not on the right track, whether I'm having an official lesson or not.

3. stuck with an unsuited horse - Well- I brought quite a few horses from nowhere to 2nd, and either leases ended, went lame, etc. So I went out and bought my dream horse. He's entirely suitable and I love him!!!

4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment - Well, yes. In order to afford said dream horse, and full training for myself, I have to work a lot. I fit in 6 trips to the barn per week - but I wish I had more time for fitness work, and I wish I could swing another horse. I definitely feel like I just need more time to practice some things than is best for my one horse.

5. wanting more but cant afford it. I can't complain- my parents broke the expense of horses issue to me very young, and encouraged a job that would help me make the money I need. I can't winter in FL, or keep two show horses- but I do well, and hopefully in the future those things will be possible.

ThreeFigs
Mar. 20, 2010, 01:52 PM
from Ton's quote....in the Karl vs. Heuschman thread...

who feels like they have been....
1. erring
2. training in the wrong way
3. stuck with an unsuited horse
4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment
5. wanting more but cant afford it...


spill your frustrations here...let's see if we can find some solutions...

Yes, all of the above!

1. I have erred, and will err again in the future. Sometimes we have to learn through making mistakes.

2. Of course I've trained in the wrong way. It's how we find our way to the RIGHT way. See #1!

3. Yes, for years I struggled along with a horse that, while she had talent for dressage, just didn't enjoy it. I could not make her like it. The most frustrating period of my life. She jumps well, though.

4. Left to my own devices, I would have chosen something in the horse world as a first career. My parents urged me to take another path, which I did for most of my adult life. I don't think I was ever "stuck", but sometimes it felt that way. The times I had little or no contact with horses (college and a period of time spent establishing a position in another state) were the saddest and most dysfunctional.)

5. All my life! A couple of years ago, though, I found a wonderful horse who required rehabilitation for a song. He is all I could ever dream of. You can find dream horses for next to nothing, if you're willing to put in a little work.

Nojacketrequired
Mar. 20, 2010, 02:15 PM
who feels like they have been....
1. erring
Always. And usually in all ways. But, I keep coming back for more. My horse is well treated and not hard done by.
2. training in the wrong way
No. And yes. Just recently, the other trainer at my barn took over my lessons because my trainer is away. My trainer is great and works a lot on the horse's way of going, and my confidence. The other trainer immediately took exception to my hands. And she's right! So, while we had a goal with trainer A, Trainer B looks at things slightly differently and zeroed in on a different problem. (I've got lots to go around!) So, not training wrong, just good to get more than one perspective from time to time.
3. stuck with an unsuited horse
BTDT...hence why Trainer A is working on my confidence so much.
4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment "Stuck" is pretty harsh. I wouldn't give up my "life situation" ie: kids, SO, etc to have pursued horses more.
5. wanting more but cant afford it...I never in my life expected I'd be able to afford what I have now. Maybe I'm easily pleased, or maybe I'm just thankful for what I have.

NJR

kinnip
Mar. 20, 2010, 04:03 PM
I'm a little slow on the uptake, so I have to circle round a few times just to commit the scenery to memory.
I've definitely made mistakes, am making mistakes, and will make mistakes in the future.
I did spend a few months with a bad trainer last year, but that nightmare is over now.
I did have a very unsuitable rescue horse who has been retired to a pasture with a large herd and minimal human contact. It was the sweetest gift I could give him. I just bought myself an unbelievable horse that has proved to be frighteningly tractable. I'm pretty sure he's smarter than me.
I do have a lot on my plate: a business, a mini-farm and I work at the boarding stable. Lucky for me time stands still when I'm at the barn.
Money is always an issue, but I prioritise and things work out o.k. Honestly, I'd feel like a criminal complaining about my finances while others in such dire straits. This year probably won't be much for showing, but I'm pretty sure we aren't seeing the apocalypse just yet, so I'll give it a go next year.

Graureiter
Mar. 20, 2010, 07:37 PM
who feels like they have been....
1. erring
Frequently, but my instructor and/or my old horse quickly straightened me out.

2. training in the wrong way
Quite possibly, if my sole aim was to be a very competitive dressage rider.

3. stuck with an unsuited horse.

My old horse was ~ 26 years when I bought her, too old to compete seriously, but not too old to teach me to use the proper cues. And a lot of patience.
My new horse's nickname is " Baby Huey" :) He knows less about riding than I do.

4. stuck with a life situation that didn't allow for more commitment
I'm retired, but riding is not the only thing I enjoy doing.

5. wanting more but cant afford it...
Always.