Feeling Nostalgic- A remembrance to my event horse

[bounce]

I have just placed the last of my horses in new homes. By the 15th of March, everyone will be gone. This will be the 1st time since I was 7 years old that I will be without a friend and companion in the barn. The "poem" below was written quite a few years ago, when my best friend was adopted by COTH member, Best Kept... but it pretty much sums up the feelings of today. I wonder who I will be without a horse... :cry:


So many times I've called on you to do a job for me. So many times you've answered..."I'll do anything you please." You've flown over the highest fences and jumped the strongest walls. You have sailed right through the water when you didn't want to at all. All I had to do was ask and you would grit your teeth and go, because a truer and more loyal friend, I may never know.

You trusted me so many times to make everything alright. It breaks my heart to let you go to this other in the night. I watch you leave and hear you call and cry with all my heart. I feel like this is the end of time, instead of a brand new start.

I hope she learns to listen to the things you have to say. I pray she understands the gift that she receives today. Not just a ride... a talented horse... but a soul, so deep and true. Someone who will listen, love and care when all your world is blue.

Thank you Groovy, for all of the safe landings, back scratches, long talks, tear wipes and good times. I will miss you always!

Thank you Tilly, Milla, Spell, Roper, Sam, Ginger, Walter, Dawn, Red Eagle, Irish, Prince, Dandy, Streak, Lacy, Beamer, Bailey, Whinny, Dusty, Lady, Cloud, Bandit, Wilson, Sherlock, Banjo, Mosey...

[annikak]

So very very beautiful. :sadsmile: Having been thru the process of major life changes, and the changes in my barn over the past 2 1/2 years, I can feel your- would it be called fear? questioning of what and who we are as people where horses are not at the center at all times. My boys have amazing homes, but I still think of them, and shed tears at times. The good thing, the great thing, is that they are with people that understand who they are and respect them for that.

I love our sport, I love the horses that can do it. But mostly, I just love them...the kindness in their eyes, the generosity of spirit.

Bounce, thank you.

[bounce]

That is it exactly. The fear of who I will be when they are so much a part of me... and it isn't something you can explain to "your mom or dad" or "your husband" or "your child". Only another- "horseman" seems such an inadequate word... can understand.

Thank you for posting Annikak... I feel much less alone.

[Poniesofmydreams]

For many of us, our equine friends are like oxygen. And not having them around can be a scary thought. Although I am new here and don't know why they are leaving I understand how you feel. Many hugs to you.

[jumpsnake]

Hi bounce,
I'm not sure what life is throwing your way, or why you have to send them on... but from a former horse owner whose personal life doesn't allow for ownership now, and maybe not ever....

They are still a part of you. I'm lucky enough to ride several days a week, but even when that wasn't happening, I've always felt like a horse person. I read, I watch videos, I spend far to much time on COTH forums....

And when you are able to step back into it, in whatever way, it will be like coming home. Don't dispair, there is always the horse in your heart.

[BestKept]

Groovey says hello from TX.... He's still going strong. Loving life the past 9 months or so hanging out in the pasture with his older woman (my 33yr old Welsh). We've been conditioning for the last three months, and in May will start some jumping so we can get back on the circuit later this summer....

I hope everything is going well for you. Whatever life is throwing you now, i am sure that horses will eventually find you again. They never really leave, its part of our soul.....

[bounce]

Thank you so much for the Groovy update! I don't worry a bit about him now. I know that you love him and have formed a great partnership with him. We have been talking about him this weekend, with Rolex going on "in my backyard". I still miss him- but know that he has a life more suited to "him" now, instead of him fitting into my life.

Things have worked out... or at least I was unable to give up the "last" horse. Quite a different girl from Groovy. She was the rescue, yard sale purchase, percheron filly that we've had since she was 6 weeks old. She has started under saddle now and is quite the hoot. So my panic of being without a horse was unfounded and completely self- induced.

Funny how life works out just the way it is suppose to... despite our best efforts to derail it ;-)

Thank you again... I can't say it enough!

[BestKept]

If it makes it any better, his disdain for water still lives....since we condition on our trails, i often wonder how in the world he made it around a cross country course. Hes been with me 4 years now, and ride the trails about 3-4 days a week, it is always a 'new' experience for him every time....I don't think he'll ever outgrow his outdoor spookieness... But thats what makes him so awesome in the ring....he is sooooo sharp, and he won't ever touch the water!!!!

Glad you kept Milla! Does your DD ride still? Mine ended up loving cheer and not horses, which dad is happy about, but not me.....

Alls well that ends well...

[annikak]

Bounce...

I have a blog entry that goes something like this...

They say you don't always get what you want, but do get what you need.

I am not always exactly sure about that, but somehow, it does seem to work out....

I am coming off of 2+ weeks of getting to ride before I begin PA school, where the horses will take a back seat to be sure. Sad, but...

Oh well, huh? It was a glorious time, and I've loved every moment. My Horse Wedding...if that makes sense??

Thanks again- glad this thread came up again today.:sadsmile:

[Zu Zu]

A lovely remembrance that brings tears ~ thoughts and prayers and hugs for you during this life change.

[Hannahsmom]

Bounce, not sure what is going on in your life right now, but as annikak says, everything in it's time. I am surprised that I, who two years ago wouldn't have dreamed of not riding each and every day, am content with riding once or twice a week now. Deke is very happy with that, yesterday I had a wonderful hour hack on him. My health has had issues and his health has had issues so things have changed but I wouldn't change of day of what went before. Glad you still have a horse in your life.