PDA

View Full Version : The heartbreak of saying goodbye...



TKR
Jan. 30, 2010, 11:00 AM
My beloved German Shepherd, Norman, crossed the Rainbow Bridge yesterday after a valiant struggle with pain and mobility. It was truly the most difficult decision I've ever had to make. His loss is just something I can't quite grasp, but the heartbreak and emptiness is very real. He was my constant, loyal companion for 11 years, watching over me with love and concern. He was the most noble creature I've ever known and it was a privilege to have his company for that short time. I am just devastated -- it just hurts so much. Heaven is certainly a better place with Norman there. I love you, Norman, Godspeed and wait for me. Kommandant vom der Krugerrand 1/27/99-1/29/10.
PennyG

Zu Zu
Jan. 30, 2010, 11:12 AM
RIP Norman ~ knowing you are and always will be loved. Thoughts and prayers and hugs for all who enjoyed Norman's life and times. So very sorry for your loss.

SLW
Jan. 30, 2010, 11:17 AM
The only fault with dogs is that their lives are too short. I am sorry for the passing of sweet Norman and hope that soon, fond memories replace the sadness your are feeling today. ((Hugs))

MoonWitch
Jan. 30, 2010, 11:30 AM
Having to put down my beloved GS Zelda was perhaps the most painful yet beautiful moment of my life. Beautiful in the way she went - with grace, dignity and still trying to make sure I was ok - right to the end.

She developed osteosarcoma at age 3. We took her to the oncologist who determined she would be a good candidate for a program working with T-101 cells. The had to try it on dogs but it showed promise for treating human cancers that had mastasisized (sp). She had the leg amutated, started chemo and led a very wonderful healthy life for 3 more wonderful years.

She was my angel and taught me so much - as most of you have learned with your interactions with animals. It's us that come away with a new appreciated for love, life and all that is truly important in this world.

May you find peace in your memories and take with you the love - always know they are always close by, and I choose to believe that we will be with them again.

Blessed be.

pj
Jan. 30, 2010, 11:36 AM
I am so sorry. I understand the emptyness as we had to let our Gs girl go last year after she'd been with us 12 years.
Finding out that she'd had a problem that Vet said had to have caused her a lot of pain for a long time and she'd kept hidden from us didn't help. Finally she couldn't hide it anymore.

For months I would "see" her here or there and the pain would freshen when I realized that I didn't really.

It does get better but I'm so sorry you have to go through it. Wish I could say something to make you feel better but, of course, we all know there is nothing that will do that. I do want to say that he was lucky to be so loved. Many many dogs live their whole lives and don't know that love.

JSwan
Jan. 30, 2010, 12:04 PM
Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."


And he answered:


Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.


And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.


And how else can it be?


The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.


Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?


And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?


When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.


Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.


Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.


Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.


Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

~Kahlil Gibran

Nipntuck
Jan. 30, 2010, 12:07 PM
I am so sorry for your loss.

Bluey
Jan. 30, 2010, 12:23 PM
Sorry his time came, he is gone.
Dogs don't seem to live long enough, do they.:cry:

bluedapple
Jan. 30, 2010, 12:37 PM
thanks for posting that Jsawn!

shea'smom
Jan. 30, 2010, 12:44 PM
JSwan, that is beautiful.
There is nothing quite like a good dog. So sorry for your loss.

chai
Jan. 30, 2010, 12:45 PM
((hugs)) TKR. I am so sorry for your loss.

Bravestrom
Jan. 30, 2010, 01:39 PM
So sorry for your loss - we are in your shoes as it looks like we have to put our berner down on monday - still hoping for good results against all the odds but don't think that is going to happen.

3horsemom
Jan. 30, 2010, 01:55 PM
godspeed Norman.
i am so sorry for your loss.

BasqueMom
Jan. 30, 2010, 02:03 PM
Rest in Peace, dear Norman and Godspeed! Hugs to you....it is so hard but let good memories help to fill the hole in your heart.

eventgroupie2
Jan. 30, 2010, 02:11 PM
Hugs from VA - so sorry for your loss.

MoonWitch
Jan. 30, 2010, 02:48 PM
JSwan - as ususal - just beautiful :cry:

MunchkinsMom
Jan. 30, 2010, 03:27 PM
My deepest sympathies on you loss, RIP Norman.


JSwan - as ususal - just beautiful :cry:

Amen to that.

sid
Jan. 30, 2010, 07:10 PM
TKR, :cry::cry:

Your post was wonderful, JSwan.

TKR
Jan. 30, 2010, 07:42 PM
Thanks for your many kind and caring responses. This will hurt for awhile and I'll continue to look for him .... but I know he's out of pain. It's helpful to know others understand.
PennyG

Laurierace
Jan. 30, 2010, 08:09 PM
Godspeed Norman. Hugs to you for being brave enough to take his pain away and make it your own.

MsM
Jan. 30, 2010, 08:36 PM
Losing them is so hard. Having to make the call is even harder. But so necessary.
I just had a phone call from a friend who wanted to talk about her 15 year old dog. The dog has multiple problems, none immediately life threatening, but medication has been unable to keep him comfortable. She knew what she needed to do but I think she called me just to hear somebody else say it. Of course I didnt tell her what to do, but supported her when she talked herself around to talking about putting him down.
I tried to avoid saying what I would do, but then she flat out asked me if I would make the call and I had to say yes. Part of me wishes she hadnt made me take some of the responsiblity, but the other part of me is glad to give her the nudge to do the right thing.
It dredged up some sad memories of my previous two dogs (aged 16 and 13) but also reminded me that the joy they gave me did indeed outweigh that pain. That is why I now have two puppies to distract me!

Mallard
Jan. 30, 2010, 08:51 PM
((((HUGS))))

I just lost my 8 yr old Dobie a month ago.
We have a 13 yr old GSD, and a 10+ PointerX.

You will get another dog again when the time is right. As will I.

Rockfish
Jan. 30, 2010, 09:00 PM
hugs

Rocky
Jan. 30, 2010, 10:39 PM
Sorry for your loss, the downside of having a dog in our life is that they just don't live long enough

jetsmom
Jan. 30, 2010, 11:25 PM
Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."


And he answered:


Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.


And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.


And how else can it be?


The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.


Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?


And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?


When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.


When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.


Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.


Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.


Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.


Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

~Kahlil Gibran

Maybe I'm just tired or something, but am I the only one that read that and has no clue what it means? I know it must be comforting to some, but it just reminded me of the type of things my teenage friends would say after smoking something they weren't supposed to...




OP- I am so sorry for your loss. I had to have 2 elderly dogs put down last year, and it is just heartwrenching. Godspeed Norman.

Carol Ames
Jan. 30, 2010, 11:53 PM
:cry::cry::sadsmile::(Godspeed Norman, Tkr,may your many wonderful memories of your lives together help fill the emptiness :yes:now; always remember, Norman is there watching and waiting for you:cool:;only now, instead of inside your door; he is over the bridge:yes:, in a place more wonderful than we can ever conceive:cool:; just waiting for the day he sees you coming :winkgrin:; What a joyful reunion it will be:yes:; all our beloved animals:cry: healthy and :cool:whole again!:yes:

Carol Ames
Jan. 31, 2010, 12:02 AM
So beautifully said Moon Witch
She was my angel and taught me so much - as most of you have learned with your interactions with animals. It's us that come away with a new appreciated for love, life and all that is truly important in this world.

leheath
Jan. 31, 2010, 03:13 AM
So sorry for your loss.

I had to put my too young horse down 2 years ago (she was only 7) and the two beautiful poems below were sent to me and they helped me. I will be re-reading them again multiple times over the next few weeks as I will be saying goodbye to my best friend (canine) of 13 years on Friday.


We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, 
live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. 
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. 
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, 
never fully understanding the necessary plan. 
- Irving Townsend


RAINBOW BRIDGE 


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, 
that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. 

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they 
can run together. 

There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine, and our friends are 
warm and comfortable. 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and 
vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, 
just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. 

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they 
each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly 
stops and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent; His 
eager body quivers.
Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying 
over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally 
meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. 

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the 
beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your 
pet, so long gone from your life but, never absent from your heart. 


Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 




Author unknown....

JSwan
Jan. 31, 2010, 09:08 AM
Maybe I'm just tired or something, but am I the only one that read that and has no clue what it means? .

Kahlil Gibran was a very famous poet. If you don't "get" his poetry - it doesn't mean he was smoking dope when he wrote it.

He wrote The Prophet - a poem about life, death, love, and loss. It is a very famous and profound work.

Perhaps you need to get out more. Or pick up a book or something. If you don't understand the poem - that's ok. By ridiculing the poet, or the person who offered the words of condolence - you appear the simpleton. The Rainbow Bridge is a nice poem, but it's not the last word on grief or sadness. Try googling the poem or the poet if you don't understand his work. Or just ignore it.

My2cents
Jan. 31, 2010, 09:21 AM
It will hurt til it doesn't. Our beloved first dog passed away in 2004 after a three month battle with lymphoma, he was only 8. I carried his collar and tags around with me for a couple of weeks. It took months before I could wash the drool spots from where his water dish was placed. We had two other dogs that were sort of rescues, come to live with us and that helped. They have now been gone for two years. Thank goodness I read a certain posting by our wonderful rescue gal Lori of Sunkissed Acres. Remember around Thanksgiving, she posted of 3 elderly horses and an emaciated dog being dumped off? Well, the stars aligned and I am now the owner of the emaciated dog. He is actually named after my first dog and he even shares a few of his characteristics. Even though my first dog was a Bullmastiff/Rottie x and RJ (new dog) is mostly black lab,they both have BIG feet. And RJ will 'hold hands' with me when he falls asleep on the bed, just like my Roscoe used to do. Grieve all you want, cry when you want and remember EVERYTHING about your sweet boy. Slowly the sadness will be eased and the memories will become cherished treasures and you can look back and savor them and be thankful that you were chosen to share your life with such a loving animal. Big hugs.

leheath
Feb. 1, 2010, 02:20 AM
Originally Posted by jetsmom
Maybe I'm just tired or something, but am I the only one that read that and has no clue what it means? .


Kahlil Gibran was a very famous poet. If you don't "get" his poetry - it doesn't mean he was smoking dope when he wrote it. ... The Rainbow Bridge is a nice poem, but it's not the last word on grief or sadness. ...

You know, when I first read that poem, I thought the same thing as jetsmom, but it was late and I was tired, and I just moved on. However, I re-read it again the next day (following JSwan's post above) and it was really beautiful and is really helping me face the most difficult task of saying goodbye to my best friend later this week. So, thanks to JSwan for posting it, and sometimes poetry just needs a second reading to become clear. Perhaps the power of poetry is that its meaning only become clear upon additional/deeper investigation and thought?

prairiewind2
Feb. 1, 2010, 03:21 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. We faced the same thing just over a week ago. My heart dog had osteosarcoma, and we could no longer keep him relatively pain free. He'd dealt with some adversity in his life, but this is one thing he couldn't beat. His passing was beautiful - a vet came to our house and Buddy passed in our arms while giving us kisses and eating walnuts, his fave - but even so, it still tears me apart.

So believe me, I understand - so do we all. You have a lot of company, if that helps.

Eventually you'll remember the love more than the pain. Until then, my heart is with you.

As an aside - the Kahlil Gibran poem is lovely. (Loved Gibran since I was a teen.)

My2cents
Feb. 1, 2010, 07:28 PM
When my friend's dog passed away at age 14, I sent her this along with a picture of her dog and my dog when they were young and playing like fiends.

Do Not Mourn My Passing

Do not mourn my passing for if you could only see
by slipping all my earthly bonds, I'm young again and free,
By day I run the heavenly fields, my body healthy and strong
At night I sleep at Angels' feet, lulled by Celestial Song.
So do not mourn my passing, just close your eyes - you'll see
I'm once again that frisky pup, just as you remember me.

Author Unknown

Carol Ames
Feb. 2, 2010, 01:08 AM
leheath thank YOU! :yes: I was trying to find those two poems; so very appropriate; that description of the Rainbow Bridge always-comforts me:yes:

Lamma70
Feb. 2, 2010, 01:26 AM
OP- I am sorry to hear of your loss of your best friend. I lost my good dog, Sammy, in November, and it surely isn't easy. I buried him in one of his favorite spots by the barn, and placed a rock on his grave. It makes me feel good to see this special spot when I head to the barn in the morning. I feel like he is still with me...running to the barn to eat horse poo, slobbering on my pants leg, or getting lost in the field for a while.

Here's to good memories...

leheath
Feb. 2, 2010, 01:52 AM
leheath thank YOU! :yes: I was trying to find those two poems; so very appropriate; that description of the Rainbow Bridge always-comforts me:yes:

You are welcome. Every time I see a beautiful, potentially helpful poem such as those posted on this thread, I save it to a word file so I have it to share/read in times of sorrow for myself and others.

Thanks to Lamma70 for the reminder to focus on the good memories to help the sadness pass and to My2cents for the reminder that they go to a place free of pain where they are forever young and healthy.