none

[Phaxxton]

Miriam and others, do not despair because in next month's PH, I will be publishing a ground breaking article "Stuck at Beginner Novice (Cruelty)? Tips on How to Break Through and Flip Your Horse the Right Way!"

I was inspired by the dressage article this month entitled "Stuck at Training Level" and when I pitched my idea to the editors, they were thrilled with it. Many eventers, apparently, don't even know that they are doing something wrong.

This article will be accompanied by full color pictures and step by step instruction to get you from beginner novice cruelty on your way to advanced level cruelty at a pace way too quick to be considered humane.

[Miriam]

Phaxxton, Thank you so much for you expertise and willingness to educate us humble and lowly abusers. I can't wait for my new PH. I wait with bated breath.

"One thing vampire children have to be taught early is, don't run with a wooden stake."

[JAGold]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Row Wisco, Row!:
I have enjoyed this thread more than you could ever imagine. So glad I came out to the BB this weekend. This kid thinks we misunderestimated her, but little did she know she read us wrong....

Big bonus to anyone who names the presidential orator to blame for the gramatically unfriendly word in the above paragraph. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, my dear horse-flipping-lesbo-Ivy-hicksville buddy (hey, I think that actually sounds like a few of us!), is there any doubt? But I can see your Bushism and raise you one setting: Arkansas, November 6, 2000. --Jess

[Mickster]

Thanks, Phaxxton !



hey...wait a minute...this looks like MY beer I bought last night....

Miriam :

I'm not sure sure if she will let you borrow the WMD's ..but she has all these nasty pieces of metal laying around... she calls them "Bits". I don't know what they are "Bits" of, but man, I'd hate to see the whole thing.

I'm so glad now I've never ridden a horse. From what I can tell, one day, all these horses are gonna be really mad, and take revenge on us humans.

And I don't want to be on thier short list.

[Phaxxton]

Don't look at me, it's my lesbian lover duramax who's the thief in the relationship.

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Row Wisco, Row!]

Jess-thanks for reminding me of the best yet!

I forgot...I summered for 4 months in Arkansas several years back. Just ask Robby J. He is the ultimate in my book, and I think he meets quite a few of the criteria to be on the 'hate list'

Come to think of it, what the hell was I thinking?? I went to Arkansas, and stayed there, and LOVED IT, by choice?!? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Quick, someone, some fine sadomasochistic lesbian, pass me another drink FAST!! I need to drown my sorrows and sin.... http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

To be great is to dare to rise above the sea of mediocrity and surround yourself by the elite... To be excellent is to never give in to the mental weakness or fear.

[Miriam]

I just purchased a copy of "Enter at A, laughing" and Mickster, I have to tell you that the author has a theory pretty close to yours. He think that horses allowed themselves to be domesticated to avoid extinction at our prehistoric hands because they knew that our era would be but a blip on the moniter screen of life, and when we have gone the way of the dodo and passanger pigeons, they will have a great big party with the theme "The Plan Worked." I think you two are on to something. THAT'S why I'm cruel to my horses! They aren't going to be celebrating that party while I'm still around by george. Beat them down. Flip the off banks. Supress their mutinous minds.

"One thing vampire children have to be taught early is, don't run with a wooden stake."

[Mickster]

Another thing I should be concerned about?

I didn't realize you all were lesbians.

But, since I am a male, doesn't that make me an "Honorary Lesbian"?

And has anyone seen a strange person, running around with pantyhose on thier head, and a case of MY beer ?

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mickster:

But, since I am a male, doesn't that make me an "Honorary Lesbian"?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sure, what the hell!

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Calvincrowe]

Just read all 13 pages. I laughed, I cried, I blew beer at the screen! Oh, what fun! I so enjoy eqnjump's drivel...do you think she/he/it writes for the Enquirer?

I think our little troll is out at yet another party (so cool!) or perhaps she did indeed get arrested for underage drinking. (hope springs eternal) Dare we hope someone took away her computer? Perhaps her wonderpony crashed through one of those incredibly safe 4'6" jumper fences (you know the ones--rails splintering, flying everywhere!) Or, better yet, the mother ship came and took her back to Planet PMS.

Cheers from Nice Hunter Rider Lady Land

You can send a kid to school, but you can't make 'em learn!

[bucksnort]

Beer please. What a great night! I am on my way out to the bar and read this post just in time. I had NO IDEA I was bi-sexual!!!! I event and do jumpers so I must be bi. Good thing I read this post, I am going to have a MUCH more interesting time at the bar tonight..... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

PS. I also ride dressage so am I a tri-sexual??

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bucksnort:
am I a tri-sexual??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It really depends on how many times you have helped a convenience store robber out of the panty hose on her head. I suppose it's possible.

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[JAGold]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phaxxton:

It really depends on how many times you have helped a convenience store robber out of the panty hose on her head. I suppose it's possible.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm. Do you get bonus points for helping a convenience store robber into the panty hose on her head? --Jess

[PiedPiper]

Just came home from a GASP Horse Trial and this is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I knew I loved eventing for a reason but I thought it was just for the definite ride times and the organized after ride parties! I have yet to flip my horse so I need to keep trying. I am only a novice rider though so I still have a lot to learn! Are there clinics for that?

[mademoiselle]

I had a horrible day ... No flip ... not even close ... I tried everything I could think about, but my horse didn't want to flip ... Oh well, it's not a big deal. Instead of flipping I decided to jump from the roof of the barn, to practice the 12' drops. The footing was a little bit hard (concrete) but who cares, it's just an eventing horse.
Then I rode a greenie and practiced a little bit his style over fences. I tried the 6" release but he was still using his neck, so I just decided to grab the rings of the bit directly with my hands (much safer for my equitation). You should all try to grab the ring of your bit, it's the next trend.

I think I will skip the beer for a glass of red wine (I'm French) and tomorrow, I will work some more on my flips !

Cheers ...

"www.lechevalfrancais.com"

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

Oh, I am so very very glad she posted on the eventer forum. She has posted her trollish treads on the h/j forum and has ruffled many feathers. I guess she just didn't realise who she was messing with on this forum. You guys have had so much fun and I am so jealous to have missed out on it. I would also like to be a honorary eventer, you guys have a sense of humor that just won't quit. I am a dressage rider and hang out on the Dressage and breeding forum.

I wondered how long it would be till she started more flames.

As for you eqwhateveryournameis, DO NOT speak of dressage when we all know you have NEVER EVER done a dressage test or ridden dressage PROPERLY in you your young pathetic life. Do not scoff at the skills it takes, on both the rider's and the horse's part, to perform those movements. And, for that matter, let me see you do your little jumper courses after a long day (or 3) of dressage and cross country. BTW, where are your pictures anyway???? I really don't think you even ride if you want to know the truth. I think you are full of it but I am enjoying a couple of glasses of wine while reading your rediculous accusations.

Don't you have some homework to do? Perhaps some grammer to learn????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[azeventer]

I myself am drinking gin & tonics, so does this mean I can't be an eventer?
Seriously, I have been readng this forum for a long time, but have never been motivated to contribute myself until now. Congrats eqjumprrider, or whoever you are.
I have evented as a youth, am now getting back into it after years of being off pursuing career etc. I also have never flipped my horse, but look forward to pursuing this new goal with gusto! Don't want to be left behind, after all!
I am not sure why everyone on this board cares so much what a spoiled little rich kid who has accomplished nothing on her own merit feels about eventing. Obviously she knows nothing about the sport. And I am not sure how where you live, or how much money you, or your parents have affects how well you ride. Anyway, I look forward to further interesting exchanges on this board! I am aspiring to move up to Training level this winter, but I have never fallen off in a show yet. Is there hope for me?

[bigdreamer]

what happened to our troll? did she run away? darn it, i even baked cookies tonight!
*checks bag of troll food*
well, it's still full. hmm...

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> quote by dogchushu
* Is the proper procedure to flip your horse while drinking a beer? Or must you put the beer down first?

* Do those giant, sharp, rowel spurs come in handy as can openers?

* How can I find the sharpest bit that will allow me to punish me horse appropriately while dropping her off a bank with 6" reins?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

well, if you have to set down the beer, that's ok- but you get extra points if you can flip without spilling any.

well, yes! infact they make some spurs that ARE can openers- it's one of this nifty 2 in 1 things http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

you can find the sharpest bit by wandering around until you find some old rusty barbed wire. You should cut it a little long so that way it has room to be pulled back and forth in case your horse doesn't want to come back to you before the drop of death. or, u can practice with training your horse to do complete sumersaults off of the bank and landing on all 4 feet- now *that* takes talent. but of course, isn't as abusive- so you still only get the same amount of points as if your horse fell flat on top of you. As you can tell, it takes finess and practice to do so brutaly well!

anyone want any cookie dough? i've got extra!

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
http://eventingforlife.tripod.com/bahada/ ~the mares site

[lilblackhorse]

welll damn-didn't know there was a party over here. I have been far too busy writing checks to my vet for a bowed tendon (sorry, it had nothing to do with eventing) and handwalking him so I can bring him back to the cruel world of eventing.

good grief---16 years old. I am sure she knows it all, so I won't even go there. Heck, 20 years ago I had the horror of grooming for a world class eventer and several time Olympic medal winner. Gee.....I'd get up at the crack of dawn to watch them foul their stalls, but NO, I wouldn't clean them or feed those horses. What would be the point of spending money on event horses who are just expendable??? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Nope, they received horrible care, and that was appropriate, because they were just going to go down the road to some godawful event and flip over some solid obstacle or bank or something anyway, right?

I open a beer and toast to the cruelty of eventing. You can take your puke green tailored sportsmans and wrap them around your tiny neck-shouldn't affect your head, since it seems to be somewhere dark and warm anyway.

Elippses Users Clique........Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group, and the new "I own an accident prone horse clique"


"And how's that working for ya?" Dr. Phil

[sweetnlo]

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, now, please pass the booze.

[dogchushu]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bigdreamer:

...well, if you have to set down the beer, that's ok- but you get extra points if you can flip without spilling any.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I get it now! My trainer kept saying that the eventer who was our working student last summer had "excellent hands and a truly independent seat."

I thought it was because she rode well. I should have known better! This flip without spilling thing must have been what she was talking about!


"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas A. Edison

[sweetnlo]

Figgerz if ya'd treat ya hossez like dat, you wouldn't think twice bout 'booze 'busing. Yet another reason to grab cans and not bottles, remember to remove the pull tab completely

[bigdreamer]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> quote by dogchushu
get it now! My trainer kept saying that the eventer who was our working student last summer had "excellent hands and a truly independent seat."

I thought it was because she rode well. I should have known better! This flip without spilling thing must have been what she was talking about!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

o gees, u had it all wrong! it's all about the beer.

see, that's why you don't see many young riders that accel at this sport as you do older ones- because then they get caught with a MIP. takes good money to buy your way out of a lot of those. So it takes real excellent skill and amazing flips for them to make it at all.

it's alllllllls bouts the booooooze. *sigh* 3 more years guys, then I can start bringing home some blues! (hey that rhymes!)

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
http://eventingforlife.tripod.com/bahada/ ~the mares site

[Catmansmom]

THis thread has been great fun! I needed cheering up after work tonight!!

[JenEM]

Well, this thread has certainly made this hunter rider's Saturday night at work a lot more amusing! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif Though, come to think of it, on occasion I like galloping outside and even popping over solid objects. I thought that made me someone who will one day (in the far distant, hopeful future) perhaps ride in a real hunt, but apparently it makes me a lesbian animal abuser!

I don't drink beer, though, and wine seems to girly for an eventer. Mind if I sit and sip some whiskey while I watch you perfecting the flips with your beer?

[Heinz 57]

Where'd it go?

I'm bored... and I live in Orygun. I just got back from unloading a few tons of hay... I's the one who got to pull the 4 high stack and throw it off the trailer. It was FUN! Then I got on my John Deere and put railroad ties around the edge of the outdoor arena. My (no doubt ugly) boyfriend drilled holes through it, pounded re-bar 3' into the ground and bent it off. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Man, I dunno. I think I'm a poor lesbian eventer. I'm also only 16... a whole almost 2 months older than eqnwhoever, and I drive a mean John Deere. I have a farmer's tan, a glove and watch tan, and...
GASP.
I don't party.

OH the abuse! I've never flipped a horse.. for that matter, I've never even fallen off anywhere near a xc jump, and I'M the one who gets to take the green beans out to school the first time. I like banks. Big, evil ones.
Is that bad? Not only do I event... but my current project is a short little cremello Paint gelding..bred to be a COWHORSE! AHHH!

Eqnjumperrider, where'd you go? I'm all lonely-like up here in Orygun, and my big fat dressage spurs are getting rusty. Will you polish them for me with your hot air? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
I WANT PICTURES! please? You've been doing the 4'9" long enough there has to be an expensive picture somewhere...

So who is going to tell me what the hell Rancho Santa Fe is? I seriously have no clue.

I'm ashamed to be the same age as this girl. I think my [probably ugly] boyfriend is ashamed that she is my age. My green bean baby, however, doesn't seem to mind being an eventer.

Go figure.
GO JOHN DEERE!

"So here's to second chances, broken hearts, and new beginnings." - Taryn

[Dancing Lawn]

I used to event at a very high level. I never had an injury with any of my horses. I run a PRIVATE SELF-FUNDED horse sanctuary, with horses and ponies from all kinds of people, but strangely enough, no former event horses. I find that a lot of my rescues come from either violent men, or ignorant, uneducated "horse owners" who have neither the time nor expertise to be woning horses in the first place. It's the weekend riders who do the most damage. Not the eventers, and not the racehorse owners, either.

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by azeventer:
I am not sure why everyone on this board cares so much what a spoiled little rich kid who has accomplished nothing on her own merit feels about eventing. Obviously she knows nothing about the sport. And I am not sure how where you live, or how much money you, or your parents have affects how well you ride. Anyway, I look forward to further interesting exchanges on this board! I am aspiring to move up to Training level this winter, but I have never fallen off in a show yet. Is there hope for me?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't really think they care, they were just toying with her like a cat would a mouse. You know, batting her around the floor a bit, stepping on her tail a few times, that sort of thing. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[o2binca]

Just another HJ person checking in to tell you how much I've enjoyed this thread and glad that we were able to share some of our wealth, so to speak.

I am married to a novice level horse flipper, and do have one question for you. He is trying to move up to training level cruelty, but whenever I party with his barn they drink margaritas. Should they be drinking beer, or should they get some more lesbians? Thanks ahead for the advice. I have to go now and ride my horse, if only I could find those monogrammed hair nets....

[sweetnlo]

Always use a Cuzeee for the can, preferably monagrammed. Now in the winter is "Irish Coffee" or spiked apple cider more acceptable?? For safety, always use a plastic travel mug.

[punk_pony]

damn, I missed it... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Jello Biafra for President! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[hitchinmygetalong]

I never ever visit eventerland because I am in total awe of y'all's obvious partnerships with your incredibly athletic horse.

That said, I'm only on page 12 of this thing and I have two things to say to eqnjumperhumperwhatever:

Hey babe, no dissin' the Midwest. At least those lovely folks know their manners.

And as for equating high dollar real estate with personal worth and integrity, guess I'm a step or two above you. This lovely property is in my neighborhood:

http://www.luxuryforsale.com/real_estate/for_sale/kentucky/blue_grass/horse_farm.htm

You eventers are a hoot! Carry on!

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."
-Louisa May Alcott

[tecumsea]

I tried the drinking thing first. At the bar, they made me get rid of the panty hose though. But the flip thing did not work, but the drop was fun, oh waite, that first step off the bar sure felt like a 12' drop. Damn must go back to drinking to figure this out. Did my roommate get the beer back, damn, i knew i forgot sumthing, but got the popcorn and hard liqure.

[bucksnort]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I have to go now and ride my horse, if only I could find those monogrammed hair nets.... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

If your husband really wants to make it higher up the eventing cruelty ladder, the best thing to do is for him to find himself a nice beer-drinking, panty hose-over-the-head lesbian for the barn as sort of the mascot you see? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[Sammy's Mom]

Tecumsa,
Your supposed to do the flip and the drop ON your horse! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif Or do they allow horse in your bar? If so--let us in on it. I knew I loved this town for a reason http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[AAJumper]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by eqnjumperrider:
Mary, High's are 4'6-4'9, not 4 ft<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Huh...interesting. Where exactly are you showing that the Junior Jumpers are 4'6" to 4'9"? At all the shows at Blenheim and Showpark (which are the majority of the A shows that are close to Rancho Santa Fe), the Junior Jumpers are 4'6". At Indio, they have a Junior Jumper 3 section that goes from 4'3" to 5', but where are you finding these High Junior Jumper classes that are 4'6" to 4'9"??? Even at LAEC, the Junior Jumpers at 4'6"...not 4'6"-4'9".

[abcdefg]

Ding dong the witch is gone!


This was to the greatest amusement of friends who don't even know what eventing or hunters or dressage is.

Way to go eqnriderjumper whatever. Youre the best entertainment since....well.....i won't give you that much credit. But your DAMN funny.

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

I don't think she is gone for good. I think, if she truely does ride, she took her horse OUT OF THE RING &lt;gasp&gt; and tried galloping it in the open and it ran off with her...and flipped! She didn't have a beer in her hand because she only drinks top shelf tequilla!

...Or, maybe she is under a bridge...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

BTW, I think there is a troll in Dressage land...take a look (http://chronicleforums.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=6656094911&f=5986094911&m=84060748)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Madeline]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by eqnjumperrider:
Hehe, ya I do banks and water jumps lol.. I guess Junior Jumpers isn't good enough for you. The banks are not 10 feet high and logs, and the water jumpers are about a foot deep, and not built up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Golly. I wish I had gotten to this thread several pages ago. I have two questions for eqnjumperrider.
1. How old are you anyhow? I guess 12.
2. Does your Mommie know you behave like this on the internet?

Madeline
Old enough to remember when show hunters actually jumped solid fences, and banks.

[baileygreyhorse]

Bye-bye. (waves beer bottle at her retreating back)http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif
She just deleted her original post.
But wasn't it entertaining?
It was nice to party with you all this weekend. Hope the rest of the weekend was fun too.
I'm off for a relaxing trail ride. No flipping off of banks today.

http://community.webshots.com/user/pnekman

[Mary in Area 1]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHhh! Lookie, we scared her away!!!!!!!!!! She edited the post name and the first post completely away.

Naughty eventers!

[Phaxxton]

VICTORY!

Final Score:

Eventers: 764,951
eqnjumperrider: - 1

Beers all around!

Hmmm... wonder if she thought deleting her original post would make the whole embarassing thread disappear....? Guess we'll never know - let's hope that's her last stop in eventerland because she was really taking up time that would be much better used practicing flipping our horses over...

[frugalannie]

Hey, Mary, FWIW, thanks for asking a question on the H/J board that I've always wanted to ask, but never had the guts. I have to say, lots of the responders gave me perspectives I hadn't thought about, and I appreciated that they took the question seriously.

I think the main difference between eventers and H/J is that they don't understand that we are chronically hyperbolic in our statements. As a result, our fences are the "scariest", "highest" ..., our horses are the "bravest", "fastest"... We rarely engage in moderation when talking about our sport and horses. They are much more considered in their views, and so when you wrote that "all" the trainers and kids etc. we knew you didn't mean that literally. You were just being an eventer!

Now my problem is that due to feeding my horses Guiness, they are wearing panty hose on their heads and threatening to flip me. Oh well, the sun is over the yardarm. Cocktail hour! And raise a glass to the trolls who get our dander up!

[bambam]

Thanks guys! Stuck in the office on a beautiful Sunday and just took a little break to check in at COTH and got a nice laugh in return (of course this thread is so long it was a slightly longer break than I intended).
It also gave me some new things to work on in between beating my horse and drinking beer (and during since I am no where near being able to flip without spilling my drink). I am clearly a beginner novice at cruelty and look forward to Phaaxton's article so I can move up.

[LBlue]

HAHAHA!!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[GatoGordo]

*sniff, sniff* What is that I smell? Ah, another troll-roasting!

Just remember, no standing margaritas allowed in eventing... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Life is short; make fun of it.
Founding Member, Bird Nerd Clique; Eventing Yahoo In Training; formerly known as BostonGold

[Black Market Radio]

OMGOSH!!! This thread is SOOO funny! I am so glad I read the first post before it got erased!

Boy, if you were HALF the things you said you are eqn, you wouldn't feel the need to spout off about your PARENTS wealth and such. Do you really want to be 25 years old, living with mommy and daddy and having them pay all your bills? Are you going to live off your parents for a very long time?

Hey, you are not the ONLY person who comes from well-to-do areas. Heck, I live in the Bay Area in the middle of a FARMING community which has some REALLY expensive houses. I bet some of the smelly old FARMS up here are worth more than your parent's house is! SO HA!!!!

Please go away and don't give showjumper's a bad name anymore. Oh wait, I take that back, it's so FUN having a troll roasting! Pass the O'doul's since I don't drink LOL!!!

Oh yeah, BTW, most parties don't start as late as 10:00. My uncle lives in the Hollywood Hills and he used to frequent ALL the hip parties down there. I am talking CELEBRITIES dear. Oh yes, and he used to sit front section at all those insignificant award ceremonies like the Oscar's and such. They start partying WAY before the event begins, and keep it up until WAY past your bedtime. Oh yeah, I also saw that you last posted at 1:30 am. Must have been quite the lame party, I always stayed out until AT LEAST 3!

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

My mom eats her peeps with a spork...

[lilblackhorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phaxxton:
VICTORY!

Final Score:

Eventers: 764,951
eqnjumperrider: - 1

Beers all around!

Hmmm... wonder if she thought deleting her original post would make the whole embarassing thread disappear....? Guess we'll never know - let's hope that's her last stop in eventerland because she was really taking up time that would be much better used practicing flipping our horses over...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif--I simply can't WAIT til Will's tendon heals and I can once again practice flipping my horse over solid obstacles. Guess she thought everything would go away--any bets that she changes her name and tries to come back as something or somebody else? We're always going to be able to know who she is though by the wafting smell of singed troll. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Gawwdd I love eventers! Rock and roll y'all!

Elippses Users Clique........Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group, and the new "I own an accident prone horse clique"


"And how's that working for ya?" Dr. Phil

[stasha]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Posted by eqnjumperrider:
I guess some people like the midwest... YUCK.. Hicks. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, we do like living in the Midwest. There are fewer people like you out here, which suits us just fine--we can abuse our rodeo stock in peace.

~I smile because he's my brother. I laugh because there's nothing he can do about it!~

[barbaraG]

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

I hear that there's a nice Happy News thread here somewhere!!

I 'll have a look see http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

BarbaraG
GWV

[tecumsea]

Sammy's mom, It was a challeng at the bar last night but I got the drink , drop, drink flip myself. Now the stairs were and added problem. Kinda like a continuoes bank up complex. I tried to tell them that the horse needed to learn the whole rutine but to no availe was he let in. But you have given me a business idea. By the way there is a troll at the dressage world. They are a little to nice or reseved I have offerd beer and popcorn shall we all meander over to help with the conquest of trolling!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

[tecumsea]

Hey guys there is a troll over at the dressage board. We have a new thing for the horses. They must now go sideways flip and drop, or is it drop, sideways flip, drink, This is what I get for hard drinks and beer. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[jetsmom]

Hey, if you GIVE THE HORSE the hard liquor and beer, they go sideways, flip and roll all on their own!

I'm a H/J, but have to say that you eventers rock! Please can you keep the troll over here though?

[twowillows]

there must be a run on troll food b/c there is a troll in dressage now. Must agree with one point however my event horse often wonders the point of dressage!!

[Silly Mommy]

Oh my!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif I stopped over here to read about Robby and Rhodey, and stumbled upon a post that the topic was "none" - so I had to open it! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

I have a confession:

This is my first time over here!

Thank y'all so very, very, very much for the laughs. I have never evented, nor have I taken pantyhose off of another person's head (of either sex), but I have flipped a horse or two in my lifetime - so I guess that just makes me nonsexual (ask Mr. Mommy http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif).

AAJumper is right - Juniors don't go over 4'6" unless you're doing Young Rider's stuff. Harrisburg and Washington top off at 4'6" with 5' spreads.

Can a HP eventingboardvirgin come back and play if she has proof she's jumped in the High Juniors?

How come eqwhateverhernamewas never showed us her stuff???

Most people who go around fanning the flames of crises are themselves the problem.


http://groups.msn.com/WolfdenFarm/shoebox.msnw

[lucky2day99]

You know what is hysterical to me?? Is that most eventers I know came from the hunter/jumper world... and moved along when wanting more excitement, more challenger, and not so much subjective judging.. at least from the eventers I know... what is funny to me is that some of the spoiled hunter/jumper folks.. speak maliciously of eventing yet I would be willing to bet my laptop on the fact that a miniscule percentage of these little girls have never participated in even an unrecognized event...

*laughs* I keep thinking of my years spent in a hunter jumper barn where NOONE ever went to ride outside a manicured ring--- their idea of a cross country fence was an oxer moved from the ring into a pasture or field with no fencing-- and once again most of the juniors, children, and even adults would have their trainers ride their imported overpriced horses in division before them, after receiving the lunge of death... so their owners could hurry up from the airport get on and put in a decent little trip collect their ribbon and head home.

Give me the eventing crowd ANYDAY.

Christina

[wanderlust]

Silly Mommy, you are welcome over here anytime, and not only do we not need proof that you did the high juniors, we don't CARE. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

All we require is that you are diligently practicing drinking and flipping. Doesn't matter if it is high flipping, low flipping or modified flipping, so long as you are trying your hardest at flipping and drinking. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

[Black Market Radio]

Go and boil your bottom you son of a silly person!!! I FART in your general direction!!! I wave my private parts at your Aunties! Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of elderberries. TTTTTTTHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBB
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!
I blow my nose at you, you wiper of other people's bottoms! TTTTTHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

My mom eats her peeps with a spork...

[This message was edited by devildog87 on Sep. 29, 2003 at 10:07 AM.]

[CluesGirl]

Geez, why is everyone "flipping" over this little girl's innocuous topic? All she said was "none"! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Why do I always have to do stupid house stuff and miss the best "shots heard round the board"?
And I missed all the beers too!

Cheers to eventers! Long live the crazy yahoo riders and their poor, poor horses who are forced to not go around in circles in boring little rings with little flowers box jumps!!!

[lilblackhorse]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by CluesGirl:
Geez, why is everyone "flipping" over this little girl's innocuous topic? All she said was "none"! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
QUOTE]


no, she didn't just say "none"....she came back after 15 pages and tried to delete the nastiness she said. I am sure she was hoping to delete the whole thread, but she couldn't. Read the whole 15 pages and you will see some quotes and get a truer picture of the crap she spouted.

Elippses Users Clique........Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group, and the new "I own an accident prone horse clique"


"And how's that working for ya?" Dr. Phil

[wanderlust]

lbh- I think clues was being facetious... check out the winky face at the end of her post. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[FionaJ]

Yeah, and the dressage troll is a mere amateur--you know you'd think we'd have cattier ones for us DQ's. Maybe if we import one. . .

[karenza]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Medievalist:

Eventing is fun. Eventers are even funner. Especially if they are pantyhose-on-the-head wearing lesbians.

So as I was reading this to my husband, gasping for air with tears streaming down my cheeks - he looked at me with big blinking eyes and said "You mean they're going to wear panty hose instead of hairnets?"

"Life is not a dress rehearsal" - My Auntie Janet

[karenza]

PS Can anyone provide the orginal post - I've been out at a Horse (Flipping) Trial all weekend and now it just says "none"......or will that just stir up anonther 16 pages ;-)

"Life is not a dress rehearsal" - My Auntie Janet

[Silly Mommy]

Thank you MT!

I, however, had a bad accident with beer -Labatt's to be exact, and a Zamboni during one of the Canadian Thanksgiving take-overs. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Mind if I flip something NA?

Oh, and whoever was wanting to put G&T on their horse's neck - use Show Sheen, smells the same just add a lime! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

Most people who go around fanning the flames of crises are themselves the problem.


http://groups.msn.com/WolfdenFarm/shoebox.msnw

[AOHunter2002]

what was the first post? and FYI..we have had planty of trouble with eq princess on the h/j boards...her tiara has been cracked for some time now...
Katie

we arent all like her i SWEAR!

~*~"When your horse greets you with a nicker, nuzzles your chest, and regards you with a large and liquid eye, the question of where you want to be and what you want to do has been answered"~*~

[cheeky_appy]

Teeehehehehehe!! Offended most New Zealand riders here too! Most of us event, and its the discipline where we have shone most worldwide.
Thanks for the wonderful entertainment guys! and enjoy your beers!!http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aim 2003/2004: National High points for appaloosa show jumping!

[eclipse]

Oh dear sweet Lord, not eq princess again!! I remember her from the H/J board and we are STILL waiting to see proof of her big accomplishments. (Methinks we'll be waiting a while). http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Anyway, I just wanted to say that as I know absolutely nothing about eventing (except you guys are way braver than I will ever be!) I am staying out of this little fiasco. And, eq princess, please start thinking before you type as all you are doing is hurting your image & dragging down ours in the process. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

"My head's not empty, it's just full of crap"

[Black Market Radio]

The leetle sweetie said in her first post something like, "why are eventers so cruel to their horses? There are more injuries in eventers than in any other discipline. Why are you so cruel?" Of course, it was WAY meaner and MUCH more wordy, but it was along those lines.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

My mom eats her peeps with a spork...

[eclipse]

EUREKA!!!! I've finally figured out how we can all see pics of this person. Surely, seeing as she is soooooo good & jumping such large fences, she will of qualified to represent the USA at the FEI International Childrens show jumping competition. Seeing as this is to be held at Spruce Meadows in December & seeing as I live right across the street, I will be there with camera in hand, ready to take her picture!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Do you all think she will admit to being there??? LOL

"My head's not empty, it's just full of crap"

[Black Market Radio]

NO WAY!!! SM is BENEATH her you know! It's a run down ol' shack isn't it? And why would anyone want to ride in a spruced-up MEADOW??? Isn't that cruel???

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

I FART in your general direction TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBBBB!!!!!

[baileygreyhorse]

She's probably a walk/trot lesson kid at a local barn. Just a rule book and a little too much time on her hands. Very dangerous combination. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

http://community.webshots.com/user/pnekman

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

I don't know if she will be at SM, are there any 4 or 5 star hotels there?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

I think we chased her off, the last time she started trouble, she didn't show her face for a few weeks. Oh, I forgot, she was in Europe letting her daddy buy some expesive imports for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[eclipse]

OHMYGOD, you're right (slap myself on side of head). It is cruel at SM, as well as just a shack in cold, we live in igloos all year round, Canada. They do have a rather large (ok, freakin' huge) bank in the International Ring, as well as some Olympic sized water (I think around 14ft wide)!!!! Thank goodness, it'll be too cold to abuse horses there & so she would have to go around the indoor ring where those really tight turns could also be abusive!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Pass me a beer, & let the games continue!!

"My head's not empty, it's just full of crap"

[Magnolia]

When I did my first event, you know, the subterranian event for chickens, I didn't flip my horse, so I got last place. :-(

But really eqnjumperriderbratOCchildwanabe, I'm glad mommy and daddy have lots of money to keep you sheltered, otherwise, you'd get your butt kicked by some midwesterners.

The witchy witch witch of south central NC.

[Black Market Radio]

Hey! We CA cliquers want to kick her butt as well!!!! I have to say, she is NOT allowed to be a part of the CA clique!

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

I FART in your general direction TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBBBB!!!!!

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by magnolia:
When I did my first event, you know, the subterranian event for chickens, I didn't flip my horse, so I got last place. :-(

But really eqnjumperriderbratOCchildwanabe, I'm glad mommy and daddy have lots of money to keep you sheltered, otherwise, you'd get your butt kicked by some midwesterners.

The witchy witch witch of south central NC.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The East Coasters will hold her for you! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Black Market Radio]

Is she young enough to be considered a bebe? The other OTHER white meat???

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

I FART in your general direction TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBBBB!!!!!

[USgrandprix]

Okay guys, although I agree that some of you really need to refine your drinking and flipping skills, I'm also here to *gasp* stick up for Eqnwhateveritsnameis....

You guys kept on hassling it to post a picture... strangely enough it was hesitant to do so!(eventers can be a frightening bunch when we're sober!) I happen to have one of it at a show... not riding, mind you but at least now you know it's for real.

http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Sep/20039294916493268826227.jpg

At least now you guys can see how cool Egnjumperrider REALLY is.

------------------------------
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

[Erin]

O-kay, folks, come on now. Although she deserves it http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif the point of this thread was to divert it and have some fun. Not to declare open season on eqnwhatsername.

BTW, I was unsuccessful at my event on Saturday. I did not flip. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif I tried really, really hard, especially off the 11-inch drop. But my darn horse just cantered happily off it and went on his merry way over the other logs, tables, ditches, and other evil fences.

Sigh. Maybe I should wear pantyhose over my head cross-country? Although then how would I drink my beer? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif ROFLMAO http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[USgrandprix]

Erin, you could always alter your helmet into a beer helmet.... cut a hole in the pantyhose for the straw and voila! Beer on the go!

------------------------------
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

[goobs]

La Flip - must be done while rider is at least half in the bag and riding backwards. Must look like the horse does all the work and the rider's aids are invisible. All the while proper impulsion must be maintained at 6,4000 mpm. If horse does NOT flip, try the blindfold technique - although some people are against this method as it involves artificial devices. Most people trailer out to the Grand Canyon to school.

So Phax - what I wanna know it was that thar pantyhose CONTROLTOP or not?

[RAyers]

What I really want to know is that how can a guy be a horse flipping, on the head pantyhose wearing, trisexual, lesbian? I have the beer drinking and pantyhose stuff down (watch COPS next week) but I can not figure out how I can be a lesbian. Does this mean I have to stop eventing and go back to the jumpers? That just sucks! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

I can flip the horse (e.g. the water complex at Jackson) but I only do it in water fences when the weather is warm and we both can get a good cooling down. Was it wrong for Mick Costello to give me a bloody mary right then too? Did us guys totally breach the ethics and decorum of eventing? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Reed

[USgrandprix]

RAyers - you seem to be getting the right idea in regards to flipping except for the "get a good cooling down" part. See, that would be bordering on "consideration for the horse's health" and we just can't have that. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/sigh.gif

------------------------------
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

[Erin]

Reed! Please refer to Mickster's post on page 13... because you are male, you are automatically an Honorary Lesbian! Problem solved. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[RAyers]

Can I get a pair of breasts with that?

Reed

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RAyers:
Can I get a pair of breasts with that?

Reed<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[USgrandprix]

Sure, would you like to Super-size your breasts? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

------------------------------
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

[eventer_mi]

Reed, I seem to remember a thread where all the men of the BB came out and said hi, and you had plenty of offers for a date from the multitudes of women on this BB, so I think you could easily get a pair of breasts with that. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

As for the 6 inch reins....hell, you don't need reins when you're constantly climbing up your horse's neck over jumps! In fact, I'm planning on ditching the reins all together and just hooking my fingers through the bit rings as we gallop on, since that's where I tend to end up anyway.

"You know who I really feel sorry for? Arab-Americans whose lifelong dream is to get into crop dusting. " - Brian Regan, comedian

[Pol]

I want to tell you people something. I have been away for 4 days and LOOK at what I have to come home to!! The equinejumperwhatsitsface has REVISED its original post, to remove the whole thing, so I don't even get to READ what the stoopit cow wrote to flame you all up!!! I want a beer and to know what in the Sam Hill it originally said, because I'll bet it would have made me PLENTY CRABBY!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

[weezie]

Pol - The original was something like "why are eventers so cruel to their horses" or in that neighborhood. A real red flag troll.

PS look at how many posts you have in just 6 months...get a life Pol http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Nikki^]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Row Wisco, Row!:
Little known fact re: the Olympics. During the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, the XCountry day of the Eventing competition drew more spectators than ANY OTHER SPORT. There were ~220,000+ people there to watch the animal abuse.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I was there http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif!! I was there when the American team won the silver!!! It was fantastic!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif I still have the ticket!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

http://www.dmtc.com/dmtc98/Pedigree/
Look up your TB's bloodlines

[weezie]

Me too, me too!

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Erin:

BTW, I was unsuccessful at my event on Saturday. I did not flip. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif I tried really, really hard, especially off the 11-inch drop. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's time to move on to the 11 FOOT drop - obviously your horse is bored and just playing around over the little things. If youjust charge at an 11 foot drop you should have much more success.

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Erin]

Ohhhhh... silly me! What was I thinking, starting my greenie out over these small and non-imposing (but, yet, still evil and solid!) jumps in order to build his confidence!

I have seen the error of my ways. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

[Pol]

Oh Weeeeezie, You know I am a chatty gal. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Gnep]

Erin,
if the sucker can hit those jumps solid enough, that you can hear it half a mile away and the neighbors dogs start barking and they call the cops because of noice polution and if you do after landing an 180 let him clong the jump backwards ( you don't have to worry about the cops this time, they are already there and the dam neighbordogs are already barking ) and you do a nother 180 and let him have at it one more time and he jumps the thing without a major clong you can be sure and confident that the jump was built well, that he will pick up his legs next time, that nobody cares about the dam neighbordogs barking and the cops stay in town.
The method saves time and the beer opend before climbing on the greeny ist still cold when ya get back.

Irrsin hat keine Grenzen

[Gnep]

Reed will bring you some breasts to HP, this weekend

Irrsin hat keine Grenzen

[Phaxxton]

Erin, Erin, Erin! Shame on you - Eventing is not about confidence it's about:

1. holding your horse like a pretzel
2. drink, drop, drink, flip, drink, flop, drink
3. who the hell cares, since the jumps are under 4'?

You need to get the idea of confidence OUT of your head and work more on the flipping! It's all this good horsemanship that is going to get us booted out of the olympics! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Have a couple of drinks then get back out there and flip her off an 11' drop! That's the only way to be a real eventer!

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Duramax]

Reed, you can only be granted lesbian horse abuser status if you can remove the ceremonial pantyhose from the head of a horse flipping convenience store robber! Then you're in! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

[RAyers]

Gnep, Thanks! And, yes, I would like to supersize them. Stop by Jim's barn and I'll be there anxiously awaiting! The guys will be SO jealous when I show them what I got!

I tell you guys what, I go for the flip in the prelim XC on Saturday (have the beer ready by the water fence), followed by the ceremonial pantyhose removal. Is there something I need to put in my entries for that?

Reed http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Kerby]

awww damnit... I missed all the fun

well crap.

LOL. uh.. if I buy the next round can I join?
oh.. and I'm a H/J... don't hate me ok.

Oh... and here is a site which shows crashes by &lt;GASP&gt; jumpers!

http://www.showjumping.com/photoarchive/index.php?topic=crashpage2

(I hope the link works.... links hate me.)

&lt;Hands out beer alround, trying to get the crazy gay horse flipping abuse eventers to like her http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif &gt;

[subk]

Oh damn, I cannot believe I missed this whole thread while at an event drinking beer and flipping my horse.

Alas, the horse flipping happened in stadium not XC. But I must not abuse ole Simon enough because he doesn't hate me enough to step on my head to get up. Instead of tromping on me he quietly waited for help...and you know with me underneath him it MUST have been uncomfortably lumpy and all. What could I be doing wrong? As much as I abuse him and all shouldn't he WANT to rearrange my face. I mean he's even still sound and everything, and I tried so hard...

[lilblackhorse]

now see, you are going to have to go back and retrain your horse for proper flippage--Stadium flipping? SOOOO soooo wrong---and the fact that you provided cushioning just can't be considered cruel enough-next time allow him to land on the hard ground---and work with some professional horse flippers so they can help you flip over big immovable solid fences on XC, ok? Don't waste a good flip on a flimsy wimpy SJ jump----heck eqwhinnneypants could do THAT in her 7' jumper EQ class http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

Elippses Users Clique........Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group


"And how's that working for ya?" Dr. Phil

"What the fuh?" Robby Johnson

[Fandango]

OMG I havent been here since spring, And this is Just Hysterical!!! The funniest thing I have read in ages! And So civilized. Well at least on the eventers part! LOL And since we are such Yahoos! LOL I only made it to page 8, But I was wiping the tears from my eyes! Good fun! Is the troll still living?? I'm impressed that Y'all haven't killed her yet! But why? What fun would that be!! Get rid of the source of ammusement. Thums up to Erin!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif This one is going to go down is the Threads of history! I'm almost afraid to go to the one on the Hunter Jumper board! Thanks for the morning Pick me up! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif I will have to start visiting more often! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[baileygreyhorse]

We're not sure if the troll is still living... She ran off sometime on Sunday, but the party continues.
Thanks troll! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

http://community.webshots.com/user/pnekman

[tecumsea]

You know now that we all have a reasonable idea of how we are to properly ride the horses, shall we try a get together at team challenge to discuss the topic. I am sure we can improve the drink,drop,drink,flip,sideways,drink,drink method. plus we could all show off our pantyhose and lesbeian lovers... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

I think the troll burned her own bridge, not even the hunter/jumpers want to put up with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[SillyHorse]

Reed, I'm offering to be your lesbian lover. I have the pantyhose, the beer, and a horse that's in flip training. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

SillyHorse
~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~

[This message was edited by SillyHorse on Sep. 30, 2003 at 11:20 AM.]

[oldgraymare]

Geez - I go off to a clinic for a few days and missed all the fun here!!

I know my opinion doesn't count for much since I live in the sticks, never showed in anything higher than a "C" level show, and don't own a pair of TS's, but I've just gotta say that I have always had the utmost respect and admiration for eventers. It's difficult enough to excel at one discipline, much less three of them!!

And after reading the replies on this thread from all of you horse-abusing eventers, I am absolutely in awe of you!!!


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[Massive Impressive]

This is so useless.

-------------------
Never take the advice of a horseman personal.
----

[lilblackhorse]

what , the fact that you can't GET the joke? or that you can't train your horse to be a most excellent flipper in horse abusing events?

Elippses Users Clique........Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group


"And how's that working for ya?" Dr. Phil

"What the fuh?" Robby Johnson

[Sissy]

Be wary.. MI is trolling on the bottom too..

Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina!

[lilblackhorse]

yeah, have you been to OC? He/she just yanked the website where he asks for money for his opinions. Tres Bizarre

Elippses Users Clique........Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group


"And how's that working for ya?" Dr. Phil

"What the fuh?" Robby Johnson

[SillyHorse]

What the fuh, INDEED.

SillyHorse
~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~

[Sissy]

Just read the posts..... they tell all http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif. Un-intelligent, incoherent stuff, you can't miss the hair coming out of those ears http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Ha!

Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina!

[Gnep]

Massive Impressive,
You are absolutly correct, this talk about flipping is absolut useless if not outright stupid.

Just think about, you flip with the horse, absolut stupid, the dumm beast probably lands on that perfectly ponycluby toothbrush cleaned sattel, scratshes it up, might even break the tree and than it takes weeks till it gets repaired and costs a lot of money, BEER MONEY,
If that is not proof that flipping a horse is a most useless and stupid exercise, than I don't know

Thats why I prefer the solid hit with the chest, its easy on the tack and when you see the dust fly of the jump, or even move the thing a few inches, that gives you the feeling of acomplishment, solid acomplishment.

Irrsin hat keine Grenzen

[Sleepy]

Ahem, Sleepy has discovered after doing some brilliant http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif detective work that Massive Impressive is the same troll dressager and I have been dealing with over on Competitive Horse. Disregard anything it says.

Back to your regular programming.

''Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.''
- Pablo Picasso

[Gnep]

Dre...., Sleepy no foul language please, there could be juveniles reading this Thread

Irrsin hat keine Grenzen

[oldgraymare]

And just when I thought my post would be the one to actually kill this thread since it was losing steam, another troll sneaks out from under the bridge...


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[Sleepy]

Exactly what did you mean that remark, oldgraymare? Am I supposed to be insulted by that? I really don't see what I said to deserve it.

''Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.''
- Pablo Picasso

[bucksnort]

jeeze,I woner if MI is equigrumpypants...? Funny how MI registered on Sept.29 just after the time equi ran away with her tail between her legs. Think of something a little more exciting next time ok darling??? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/sleepy.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/sleepy.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/sleepy.gif

[oldgraymare]

Sleepy - my humblest apologies to you if you thought I was refering to you as a troll in my post. When I posted at the top of this page, Massive Impressive posted right after me...this is what I was refering to!!!


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[Sleepy]

My apologies to you, oldgreymare. I didn't read any of the previous posts on this thread. I just saw that MI was at it again. S/he has been to H/J and OC to stir poo as well. It gets old since this one is not only nasty but foul mouthed as well.

''Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.''
- Pablo Picasso

[oldgraymare]

That's OK, Sleepy...I was just reading some of MI's other posts since h/she posted here. They are all offensive and nonsense. The "Who owns this board" on OC just got locked. Hopefully, MI will now go away.


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[Fandango]

Awww Dang it I came back for the Beer and Popcorn!!! Now where is that Troll??? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif And to think of all the fun I have been missing since not being here since may!!! For shame! LOL I have been too busy this summer CRANKING my horses head into a "Dressage" frame http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif But Alas We have not gotten to the Double Bridle phase!
OK So whos got the Bottle opener??? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Erin]

Back to our regularly scheduled drinking and flipping. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[KRC]

wow!
Erin is magical! She can make nasty troll messages disapear right before your very eyes!

rock on Erin!

[oldgraymare]

And I hope Erin made the nasty little troll go away, too. I read some of the messages h/she wrote before Erin got a chance to delete them and I swear that person is certifiable!!!


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[Miriam]

The troll is mad. Some troll, of unknown origen, though apparently this thread, IMed me and was very nasty. She is merely jealous of my amazing flipping skills, I'm sure. If only I could flip my horse as easily as I turn up my beer. More practice is necessary.

"One thing vampire children have to be taught early is, don't run with a wooden stake."

[Erin]

Yup, the nasty little troll is gone. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Someone pass me a beer, please... it's late enough for a cold one, right? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

(BTW, most IM's have a block feature... I'd suggest liberal use of it! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif )

[SillyHorse]

The sun is over the yardarm somewhere, Erin! Cheers!

SillyHorse
~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

Erin, sure is, pass me one, we need to celebrate!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy
Owned by:
Cute as a Bugsear (Bugs) JC OTTTB (Isella x Annie Somebody)
Pippen (Frodo) ATA Anglo Trakehner (Paramoure x Cute as a Bugsear)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[LBlue]

HAHAHA!!

Erin I was having so much fun reading eqnjumperrider's insightful posts full of divine knowledge. I mean, she really taught me how hopeless I am!!

Well i better go have 8 or 9 beers before my flipping lesson, and i still have to get that panty hose over my head somehow....maybe one of the lesbian trisexual flipping champions that i will see at the barn tonight can help me into them!

But really, I really will miss eqndumperprincess's entertaining posts...i've really gotten a laugh from the things she has said (in this post AND others!)

[oldgraymare]

You probably need to sit down and relax for a while with a cold one, Erin. You no doubt worked up a sweat trying to delete all of those messages that MI was spitting out about every 30 seconds!!! Good job!!!!


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[triggerfoot]

Ohh drat! I am too late. I only JUST found this thread today and I was soooooooo impressed with eqnjumperider that, well...

let's just say I wanted to invite her over to listen to some indigo girls, eat some beef jerky, and try on each others clothes.

**triggerfoot's discount portrait barn (http://php.indiana.edu/~juschers/art.htm)**

"Humans are pedestrians without their vehicular prosthetics"

[stasha]

Well, Velvet is accusing me of being an eventer-yahoo-wannabe, so can I horn in on this thread? I've flipped a horse or two, and anyway, this round's on me. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[oldgraymare]

Come on in, Stasha. But I'm afraid the fun is about over. The OP hasn't been heard from in three days and the evil troll #2 has, I believe, been banished back to his/her spot under the bridge.

But keep the beer and popcorn at hand - I'm sure another one will pop up soon!!


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[JER]

Talk about a topic capturing the zeitgeist...

I arrived home from my weekend out of town to learn that the Euro dressage girl charged with riding my young TB eventer had, in fact, FLIPPED him. (Bizarre accident, horse and rider have a few bruises but are ok.)

Does this make the dressage girl a latent eventer? Is my TB no longer considered a green horse? Do I have to flip him too, or is once enough?

[tecumsea]

JER once will be enough, yes both of you are latent eventers. Just remember that a pair of pantyhose are needed at all times and beer and popcorn.. Don't forget the big stick it takes to poke at the troll.

[Fandango]

Sounds like you may have arrived jer!!! However being a non Professional eventing flipper, I am not sure of the rules! You must confer with the more experienced flippers! I am not sure if another designated rider flipping your tb is a qualifying factor! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif But What the heck Your off to a good start!!! Now where is the Beer??? Do we have to make a run again??? Whos got the Pantyhose???? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JER:
Talk about a topic capturing the zeitgeist...

I arrived home from my weekend out of town to learn that the Euro dressage girl charged with riding my young TB eventer had, in fact, FLIPPED him. (Bizarre accident, horse and rider have a few bruises but are ok.)

Does this make the dressage girl a latent eventer? Is my TB no longer considered a green horse? Do I have to flip him too, or is once enough?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The dressage girl / flipped TB event horse team are ready to bump up a level. You should ask her for lessons; sounds like she is a natural!

BTW, the more flipping the better- as often as possible.

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Gnep]

Jer ofcourse you have to flip your horse yourself, as a selfrespkting eventer you can not leave this to a dressage weeny from Euro and flip in the sandbox does not count.

Und mit Zeitgeist hat Flippen nichts zu tun

Irrsin hat keine Grenzen

[Duramax]

I still have the infamous pantyhose... catch me if you can!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

[Painted Joe]

Just got off the dusty trail after abusing my ( horse(cowpony/dressage/hopeful hunter/undecided disipline of a horse) with big rowel spurs and a bottle of tequilla (Cuervo Gold). Any one want a shot?

My husband ansd I have managed to read all pages of this thread without peeing in our pants!!!!! OMG!!!! What a Hoot!!!! Husband almost died laughing at the though of this baby and her knowledge!!!

Husband is not a proficent rider so he wants to know

1. Do we get off horse to flip horse over like steer wrestling or is it done while on horseback? drink in hand optional?

2. If horse and rider flip together does that make you a schoolmaster? Does size of obstacle flipping over matter?

3 Can non-eventers such as ourselves become honorary eventers if we pass on the flipping over obsticles but instead spin a horse to flip, use our sharp pointy rowel spurs, and promise to abuse horse everyday by cantering horse for hours? I will attemp to flip horse over jump, but not good at it as horse jumps over everytime ( I know I must be doing something wrong - I promise to practice on it)

Also if one flips the bird instead of the horse will that count?

Husband is willing to wear pantyhose, but wants to know is it over or under cowboy hat? He is strictly a western rider. He will hold up a convienant store if required to do so should libations run dry.

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[tecumsea]

Well you should be flipping while on the horses back with the drink in hand. If you don't spill the drink, then you get extra points.
The abuse of cantering all day is acceptable and sharp spurs are a must. The pantyhose must cover the face so over or under the hat is fine. Better yet if you can get them on the horses head even better.

[joliemom]

Katom - steer wrestlers, and those using the same technique on their horse, are indeed honorary eventers and will be honored guests at the Rolex Members' Tent. Drinks are on me.

Same goes for saddle bronc, bareback bronc, and bullriders. Honorary eventers all. Drinks on me at the Members' Tent.

"I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys and my pride." Tom Waits

[Bensmom]

Hey, I've steer wrestled a nasty little appaloosa crazy pony that got loose at the barn, can I join in?

We'll have to borrow a beer from The Little Monster, since he gets better beer than I do -- I'll pass on the beet pulp, though. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

I am so disappointed, as I almost succeeded in flipping Monster over up at Poplar on Friday -- we teetered on his back legs up in the air at the top of a hill for a bit, but I guess it wasn't enough, as we didn't go all the way over. &lt;sigh&gt;

Anyone willing to serve as my mentor in flipping? I really wanna be able to really call myself an eventer . . .

Libby

*Proud member of the Hoof Fetish Clique*

[Hannahsmom]

Since it's getting cold here in the nasty midwest, should the pantyhose be switched over to long underwear? Silk ones?

[Phaxxton]

I'm getting worried that non-eventers will think out sport is really cool and attempt to flip their horses without the proper eventing background. Please, eventing is not for everyone. Unless you are under the supervision of a cruelty trainer or are a seasoned horse abuser, do not attempt to flip your horse. Work on BN cruelty moves, like falling off when your horse stops at a jump.

And, please, don't pull pantyhose off fellow eventer's heads unless you have the weekend of the gay pride parade free. It just wouldn't be right.

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[goobs]

I just saw the link that Kerby posted. Kerby, Kerby, Kerby. That was such an AMATEUR flip! You jumper people need to take some lessons with the eventers to do the "flip" correctly. There was absolutely NO drama with that attempted flip.

I still wanna know if that pantyhose Phax pulled off of Duramax's head was controltop or not. The eventer princesses among us can use the Victoria's secret thigh high stockings. Mine is bright red! It's a 2 for 1 pantyhose deal!

[Fandango]

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif You are so right Phaxx. Pretty soon before you know it EVERY Discipline will claim they are abusers, Doing non regulation flipping at unsanctioned events!!! We MUST guard our reputation!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

[PiedPiper]

I am very interested in becoming a better eventer and was wondering if there are clinics to participate in that one could learn first hand from the BNTs what is proper and improper protocol in correct flippage? Or is this something one needed to learn in Pony Club? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Phaxxton]

People, people, people! Do NOT forget that our cruelty to our horses is divided into levels for a reason. Let me give you a broad outline, so you can be sure to start ALL horses at beginner novice and slowly build up to advanced.

Beginner Novice: Horse stops in front of jump and rider falls off
Novice: Horse jumps, but loses balance on landing, tripping and launching rider
Training: Horse falls down before OR after jump, again sending rider flying through the air
Prelim: Same as training, but occurs at a water element. (By this level, be sure that your horse is looking just like a pretzel in dressage!)
Intermediate: First flipping - over a drop not to exceed 9'
Advanced: THE MONEY MOVE - flipping horse off an 11' drop while drinking a beer.

Please, do not attempt moves beyond you and your horse's ability. Remember if you hurt your horse too badly, then you won't have a horse to abuse. Remember - it's about stamina - having a horse you can enjoy abusing for years and years!

[Kerby]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by goobs:
I just saw the link that Kerby posted. Kerby, Kerby, Kerby. That was such an AMATEUR flip! You jumper people need to take some lessons with the eventers to do the "flip" correctly. There was absolutely NO drama with that attempted flip.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

~gets down and grovels for appologies~
I am so sorry.. it is the only picture I could find quickly. Please forgive me. if it helps any I have flipped a horse... with out a jump. Does that count? Or do you need a jump? And I have pantyhose.. (though in canada I also have long underwear... which is better?)

please forgive me.. I will try harder to find a flipping picture with more style.. uh.. I mean abuse.

K.

[JER]

Phaxxton, you've got me all confused now.

Two years ago, I flipped my eventer in the wash stall. It seemed so easy -- there I was hosing her off and then the next thing I knew, she was tumbling base over apex. My horse was wearing no 'real' tack, just a halter and all I had in my hands was a hose with an attached spray nozzle.

Is this what's known as 'natural horsemanship' - like the Parelli method the O'Connors use?

[joliemom]

Hannahsmom - don't pull the longjohns over your face or you won't be able to see your long spot and thus flip Deke at the water element.

You were greatly missed at 5 Points, btw.

"I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys and my pride." Tom Waits

[triggerfoot]

JER, its only true natural horseabuse is you use the special orange horse flipping rope ($199.99), special orange natural nylons (silk, $750), and a can of "natural ice" beer (not enough money in the world to pay me to drink that stuff).

**triggerfoot's discount portrait barn (http://php.indiana.edu/~juschers/art.htm)**

"Humans are pedestrians without their vehicular prosthetics"

[Impromptu]

Boy am I sorry I didn't join in sooner!
You guys are too funny!

Hey eqnwhatever: I event AND do the jumpers. What does that make me? A semi- abuser? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Sara. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

*New pictures!*
http://community.webshots.com/user/stainlesssteal ~ My babys!
http://community.webshots.com/user/undersuspicion ~ Devon 2003

[xen99ia]

Damn it,
I'm NEVER going to get it! The closest I've come to flipping my horse is getting her to trip and fall on her nose and I wasn't even on her! What am I doing wrong?? I spent days and days asking her to go in endless circles hoping to make her dizzy and disoriented then had her jump a few evil ditches and tried to run her into some logs but to no avail. She didn't even run into them! Should I try using draw reins to crank her nose to her chest and the kick her with spurs to make her leap at the jump backwards? Maybe blindfold? Please help me, I'm never going to be a successful eventer at the rate I'm going.
http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Total horse addict http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

http://community.webshots.com/user/satanxenia

[tecumsea]

Are we saying that now there is the natural horsemanship way too. Arrgg, i was so ready to start trying for the upper levels in eventing. Back to beg nov to start again.

[Duramax]

goobs, they were most definitely control top... hence the trouble in getting the darn things off! Thank God for Phaxxton!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

[lilblackhorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JER:
tumbling base over apex. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


base over apex? Come on Jer, you can do better than that, can't you? I would think a true horse flipper would term that "ass over teakettle", wouldn't that be more correct? or is it "aft over fore?", no I think that's a boat. Buns up and kneeling perhaps???

Elippses Users Clique........Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group


"And how's that working for ya?" Dr. Phil

"What the fuh?" Robby Johnson

[Painted Joe]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by joliemom:
Katom - steer wrestlers, and those using the same technique on their horse, are indeed honorary eventers and will be honored guests at the Rolex Members' Tent. Drinks are on me.

Same goes for saddle bronc, bareback bronc, and bullriders. Honorary eventers all. Drinks on me at the Members' Tent.

"I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys and my pride." Tom Waits<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can we extend the invitation to the barrel racers and pole benders, after all they too abuse their horses runing them at top speed around object with the hopes of flipping them before flipping the pole or barrel over. I know some ofthem could probaly do it with a beer in hand.

I caught up with the posting on the DQ board. They are having a hoot of a BBQ. Last time I had this much fun was on the OC board, Attention Western rider thread. Boy did the booze get passed around.

Teeeequilla anyone? (hiccup)

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JER:
Phaxxton, you've got me all confused now.

Two years ago, I flipped my eventer in the wash stall. It seemed so easy -- there I was hosing her off and then the next thing I knew, she was tumbling base over apex. My horse was wearing no 'real' tack, just a halter and all I had in my hands was a hose with an attached spray nozzle.

Is this what's known as 'natural horsemanship' - like the Parelli method the O'Connors use?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sounds like you have a horse with true, natural talent. You two should go far, but don't forget the basics - start small, the flipping will come. And triggerfoot is correct, without all the orange cr*p you buy off the NH trainer's web site, it's not natural horsemanship, but that probably makes it more abusive, so carry on!

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by joliemom:
Hannahsmom - don't pull the longjohns over your face or you won't be able to see your long spot and thus flip Deke at the water element.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

agreed. as the initial party in the pantyhose/lesbian equation, I believe there is no precedent set for longjohns counting toward making you a lesbian. Perhaps we should vote. Pantyhose are the original item of lesbianization, but perhaps we should alter the rule some - perhaps those in colder climates would benefit from the inclusion of long johns - I'm guessing because they couldn't become lesbians in the winter then and might have to wait until spring. Shorter lesbian season, then. Potentially a bias against colder climates.

Voting anyone?

Should long john's count in the absence of panty horse in the lesbianization process?

I am torn, but I like the old way of becoming a lesbian - pulling pantyhose off a suffocating convenience store robber - but perhaps we need to modernize our rule a little? I'm not sure. First, whips are allowed in dressage and now longjohns in the lesbian phase. What next? Riders might have to stay on their horses the entire cross country course. We need to be careful in our choices! Vote wisely.

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Painted Joe]

Phaxxton - what about tights? They are just like pantyhose only thicker? Maybe in hot pink?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Beezer]

Oh, a blonde moment here. I thought, like, you folks were talking about jockeys flipping (you know, pukking, like) after they drank beer.

But now I realize that you're talking about flipping your horses.

Kewl. Do you give them a beer for afters?

***** I muck, therefore I am. *****

[msj]

Been following this thread and the one on the hunter board and even the one on the DQ board.

Well from what I've seen, a lot of the hunter people are just plain rude, the DQ's seem a bit boring (but it could be me cause I got to that board last and was getting tired of trolls), but the eventers are down right hysterical.

I guess I can count when I flipped a horse doing eventing even if was way back in the 60's. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Back in those days it was really a whole lot easier to flip them cause of slides and the lowest level back then was prelim.

I remember doing a slide when I was at the Potomac Horse Center. It was a slide in the woods, down to a stream at the bottom, and I think there was even a log to jump over in the water. My mare and I parted company at the top of the slide with both of us going backside over tea kettle down the slope. I guess we were both pretty lucky as we only had minor bruises, BUT the reins broke and the tree on my Barnsby saddle broke too. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif Man, I loved that saddle - it was a wonderful jumping saddle, but split you in two to do dressage in it.http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

msj


You know you're a horse person when...you can find your boots by smell.

PWBTB@WC (People who browse the BB at Work Clique)

[tecumsea]

I vote for the tights and long johns for the winter. Alittle warmer.

[Phaxxton]

I think tights count as pantyhose. The long john question is still at issue.

[AJHorsey]

I have a question about flipping...
My horse showed real talent by falling down after getting loose- and jumped over the 4' arena gate - when I was lunging him back in July. He did it (flipped) on concrete (a few strides after the jump), though I wasn't on at the time. Does this mean that he's got natural eventing talent? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

(PS- He's recovered since quite well since then- just a few scars)

Standardbred lover- owner of Studs Hooligan, aka Strider, ex- pacer, retrained for eventing
Standardbred Clique
Disgruntled College Students Clique

[This message was edited by AJHorsey on Oct. 02, 2003 at 10:33 AM.]

[Phaxxton]

Sounds like he might have the talent, but remember it's flipping OVER the jump (or down an 11' drop) that separates the good eventers from the truly great. So work on flipping him closer to the jump.

[SillyHorse]

One good method is to tie the horse's head around to its tail before approaching the jump. You're prety much assured of a good flip.

SillyHorse
~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SillyHorse:
One good method is to tie the horse's head around to its tail before approaching the jump. You're prety much assured of a good flip.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Genius. I will try it tonight!

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[SillyHorse]

I might add that there is the obvious advantage of having a horse that bends easily, too.

SillyHorse
~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~

[Phaxxton]

bending - you mean like a pretzel on dressage day??

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[T-Rex]

Forgive me if this has been said (didn't have time to read all 22 pages of this thread), but most event horses ENJOY the cross country jumping, and incurring an injury in a sport one enjoys is not "cruel" to any athlete.

[Note: The original poster has deleted her question and slinked away].

[Velvet]

msj,

You think the hunters aren't funny? Did you see the "A silly musing..." thread?? They're a good bunch! And on the DQ board, well, you just have to look for the humor. For some reason people didn't seem to get mine when I posted a reply to slc asking about her Ebonics course when she started using the word "dissin" in her replies. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.

[tle]

Oh Velvet... let it go hon. Let's face it there are a lot of nice normal people out there that won't get your sense of humor... especially when surrounded by the slc-loving cult. You just have to learn to smile at the poor b@st@rds and live with it.

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

************
If Dressage is a Symphony... Eventing is Rock & Roll!!!

"All's well that ends with cute E.R. doctors, I always say." -- Buffy

[Erin]

I have to admit, though, that two of the funniest threads EVER on the BB were on the dressage forum. The baby-eating and haiku threads were just awesome. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

However, for mental images, I think the pantyhose-on-the-head-wearing-beer-swilling-horse-flipping-lesbian eventer takes the cake! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

BTW, I have been privileged to receive, count 'em, SIX vulgar and threatening emails from our friend Massive Impressive today.

Should he/she/it pop up on your IM program, I would highly recommend the block feature. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[tle]

Wow Erin! Six? How priviledged you must feel that MI took that much time out of her day, not to mention her vocabulary, to entertain you.

************
If Dressage is a Symphony... Eventing is Rock & Roll!!!

"All's well that ends with cute E.R. doctors, I always say." -- Buffy

[wanderlust]

Hee hee... Erin, you are SO lucky. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Velvet]

The problem is that Erin didn't leave her to the DQs. We would have threatened her with a baby eating meal--or bored her into leaving. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

Next time you need to put in a feature that isolates the evil ones to the DQ board. Oh, wait, didn't you already do that and just forget to add my name to the list?? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.

[Painted Joe]

Sorry To hear that you have been hit with Mr. Un-Impressive's charm. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif, Personnaly I find him/her/it the opposite of what the name implies. Don't you?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Painted Joe]

Oh as for the long johns vote, I'll go for it, cause if we don't them there northern folks will cry discrimination, done their long johns and hold up every convienance store just to validate their cause. Do long johns have to be the old fashion type with the fanny flap or the modern type, just curious, you know those cold nights. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Erin:

However, for mental images, I think the pantyhose-on-the-head-wearing-beer-swilling-horse-flipping-lesbian eventer takes the cake! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

We rule!

Who's Massive Impressive? Is he/she/it on the board, too? (shiver) sounds creepy.

(puts pantyhose on head to hide)

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Phaxxton]

Where's this baby-eating thread everyone keeps talking about? I'm thinking if it's cruel enough, maybe I can find a way to incorporate baby eating into my "How to Flip Your Horse the Right Way" article - you know, so the DQ's will stop yelling that we aren't doing real dressage in eventing. (Come ON, DQs, our horses look like pretzels, too now, and that's what counts!)

[Painted Joe]

Phaxxton Don't worry about Mr/s. Un- Impressive I'm sure he/she/it will go away indue time, Erin will send the offending party avay.

Baby eating bbq is happening in the DQ board on the " What is the point of Dressage compition?" thread. It is good, but not as good as the eventing one. I like trying to flip my horse while wearing pantyhose. I never knew my horse and I were so talented. May be they will make it an Olympic stort. You think we have a chance?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Phaxxton]

oh i'm not concerned - no threatening IMs here... just curious!

Darn, I must have left the "compition" thread before the baby eating started.... (going to check)

DURAMAX - you're right, these pantyhose ARE hard to get off your head!!

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Painted Joe]

Next time Phaxxton don't use control top ones! unless you want help getting them off. Or is that a mandatory?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Black Market Radio]

DARN!!!! My computer crashed and I misse taunting the NEW troll, I missed all the fun! AH MAN!!!!!

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

I FART in your general direction TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBBBB!!!!!

[Black Market Radio]

Oh yes, a question... What is OC? Can I caome and play when my computer is back on for good??? PRETTY PLEASE??????

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

I FART in your general direction TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBBBB!!!!!

[Kblue]

Haven't read the whole thing, ::gasp:: I will shortly though just reading the ::snork:: first oh dear... pages has me doubled over laughing... this is really amusing me!! I love it

[Duramax]

Phaxxton, it must be my turn to help you out of those danged pantyhose! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

My vote is that long johns count... but not the ones with the little flaps/escape doors... while flipping, the flap could conceivably flop open, therefore exposing your eyes. We will have none of that!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[EventerAJ]

Phaxxton, here is the ORIGINAL baby-eating thread. (Proof that the DQ's are humorous...if in an odd way...)

Baby-eating: Hello! (http://chronicleforums.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=6656094911&f=5406055031&m=9816029321)

~AJ~
I've been there...that's why I'm here.

[Painted Joe]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by EventerAJ:
Phaxxton, here is the ORIGINAL baby-eating thread. (Proof that the DQ's are humorous...if in an odd way...)

http://chronicleforums.com/groupee/forums?a=tpc&s=6656094911&f=5406055031&m=9816029321

~AJ~



_ I've been there...that's why I'm here. _<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Eventer AJ - If you look at the date of this thread, it is around the same time, only last year. Do you think this is any corrilation?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[EventerAJ]

OMG Katom I never noticed that! Hehe!

I remember it *was* during the Great BB Reconstruction http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif It was great entertainment!!

~AJ~
I've been there...that's why I'm here.

[Painted Joe]

Could this be the beginning of a annual event? of just the change of season, you know the fall equinox?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Duramax:
Phaxxton, it must be _my_ turn to help _you_ out of those danged pantyhose! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

My vote is that long johns count... but _not_ the ones with the little flaps/escape doors... while flipping, the flap could conceivably flop open, therefore exposing your eyes. We will have _none_ of that!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

oh thank you for coming to my rescue!!! Are we double lesbians now?! or do we have to go to canada and get married - or did we unlesbianize ourselves? i'm so confused (in the closet, out of the closet, in the closet, out of the closet - HELP!)

ok, i accept the idea that long johns count. but i do agree that it should be amended to NOT include long johns with trap doors because that is cheating. and while we can be cruel, horse-flipping lesbians, we must stay within the rules.

[Black Market Radio]

Please someone answer my question... what is OC?? Do I need to start slinging my insults at you? http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

I FART in your general direction TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBBBB!!!!!

[Phaxxton]

where do you see "OC" used?

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Duramax]

devildog87, I think OC is Off Course... maybe? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

[Duramax]

Phax, to Canada we go!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

[Phaxxton]

OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK!!!!!

I'm getting MARRIED! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

thank you eqnjumperfuckerwhatever for getting us together... i must start making a guest list.... Duramax, whomever shall we invite to our wedding?!

[Duramax]

Here's an idea for the wedding... in lieu of the standard removing of the garter belt, we'll remove the ceremonial pantyhose! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

[Phaxxton]

Erin, will you be my maid of honor?

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Duramax:
Here's an idea for the wedding... in lieu of the standard removing of the garter belt, we'll remove the ceremonial pantyhose! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

good idea. since we've already (cough) removed each other's pantyhose (cough) can we still wear white to the wedding? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Duramax]

Uh-oh... http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/uhoh.gif That one may require a vote!

[Phaxxton]

Yes, let's put it to a vote.

OOOHH... how about a COTH reality wedding where the COTHers plan the wedding?!

Ideas anyone? I'm gonna try to get some sleep while you all plan our big day. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

Duramax, if we're gettig married in CANADA, we might need long johns instead of pantyhose. Good thing we approved them. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

[Black Market Radio]

Boy do I feel dumb LOL!!!!! Between having to move, a HUGE bad thing happening and lack of sleep, My mind is not all there... Not that it ever WAS all there, but worse than usual http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Am I invited to the wedding? I have white pantyhose you can borrow!

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

I FART in your general direction TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHBBBBBBB!!!!!

[Phaxxton]

Of course! Oh boy - the white pantyhose can double as something borrowed. We're on our way!

[oldgraymare]

Let's see...

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue...

Well, I should qualify for the "old" - can I come along!!!!

Is there a date for the wedding set yet????


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[Phaxxton]

Well, I am waiting for Duramax to OK my reality wedding idea where the COTHers plan the wedding, but she hasn't responded.... but of course you can come. Now we need something new and something blue...

OMG, if we are both girls, do we BOTH need something old, new, borrowed, and blue?

If dressage does not relax the horse, then it is not correct dressage. - RdL

[Phaxxton]

BTW, I think our dresses (brides and bridesmaids) should come from this site -

Dresses (http://www.uglydress.com)

[oldgraymare]

http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

Oh, and I can comfortably handle the "old" requirement for both you and Duramax, if necessary. I'm still older than yours and Duramax's combined ages!!!


"When riding, learn how to stay out of the horses way; seek not to disturb, and never fool yourself into thinking you can improve the horse...he can already do it all, he's just waiting for you to be able to do it, then he'll do it with you..."
Pat Parelli

[Duramax]

Sure Phaxxy honey, a reality wedding is just fine by me... http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Phaxxton]

OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Oh, Duramax, you make me so happy!

canadians - suggestions for where it should be?

[goobs]

WAAAAAA!! Weddings always make me cry!! I'm always the bridesmaid never the bride! Well, at least this will be a good excuse to get a new tattoo right on that left manly looking bicep! I've been working hard on my "guns" while serving time at the women's correctional facility recently and my release date should be just in time for the wedding! I hope I catch the pantyhose! I know the girls in here will miss me big time and I them, but I tell them they will see me soon.

AHH the life of an eventer: horse flipping, cruelty to animals, lesbianism, incarceration, beer swillin' - man where does all the fun END!??? I love this sport!!

Erin - how come you get all the good IM's? No fair!! Noone ever IM's me nasty stuff! That is favoritism!!! You never share either! WAA!

[MdLib]

Please do remember to make the margaritas at the reception with Don Julio, none of that Jose Cuervo tequila s**t.

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MdLib:
Please do remember to make the margaritas at the reception with Don Julio, none of that Jose Cuervo tequila s**t.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

so noted.

i have decided that we should have a real wedding in Canada and then another ceremony in Rancho Santa Fe, CA - what a nostalgic spot for us, and hopll our troll friend will be able to attend. After all, this entire thread is her fault. she should at least attend the wedding! And we can't expect her to go to Canada or anything - if we do east coast of canda, she'd have to go over the *gasp* midwest to get there. Can't do that....

[Painted Joe]

Maybe you can ask her to perform the cerimony (hehe) since she brought Duramax and you together. Massive Impressive can help her. Maybe we can get them together, you know? A match made in heaven! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Phaxxton]

KC - you are *always* thinking.

is it tacky to wear black to your own lesbian wedding?

[Karma]

Will the ceremony include flipping horses?

Massive Impressive has given us great words of wisdom on HOW to flip our horses- read this:
"Horses can't lay down sideways. In every movie you see a horse "getting shot and dropping dead" it's horseabuse. For me it really has become something ennoying, because it is so fake and always happens at exactly the same way; first they rip the horse's head high up to one side with only one rein, it's always done purely on the inside rein, and then they rip the horse's head high up with only one rein, the inside rein (what do you mean, I am repeating myself?) and then you see, somewhere halfway, that horse opens its mouth and then has his tongue sticking out, and then you hear this sound of this horse neighing really loud, like it's that horse, and then you hear this dusty bang as the horse looses balance and falls down on the other side it was looking at.

Sometimes they even forget to mention the horses in the credits, like they are really dead now. Otherwise they say something like there was control and it wasn't abuse, trained by professionals, stunthorses, etc.

Stunthorses, my ass. Then you wouldn't have to pull them over right?

And I am not saying that those horses weren't trained, don't get me wrong, but the fact that they know what's happening doesn't make it less abuse. You might see an "experienced" dropper already falling at the lightest touch, but wouldn't you if you knew that otherwise you wouldn't only fall anyway, but have a cut in your mouth as well? Look at the bits they are using with "difficult" horses. Am liebsten half a meter lever effect, and over the nose, mouth and behind the ears. I once saw this trainer in a tv show, he said:"Well, I always let them fall on a pile of sand, and I use rubber stirrups so they don't get hurt when they fall. A horse that has experienced the tiniest negative thing won't ever trust me enough the next time to fall. You can forget about that horse as a dropper." Like the horse has an option; if it looses balance it falls, simple as that, it's called gravity. And I know he was lieing about those sandpiles, because in 9 out of 10 cases I don't see any pile of sand, sorry. When something looks so fake as a dropping horse, please show me the sandpile as well. And how weird; in 9 out of 10 movies you see the horse immediately get up and run away?? Wasn't it shot dead? Like a horse falls when the rider falls, what a logic.

Because of the simple knowledge that a horse, unless it is really shot dead, doesn't lay down sideways, I have to come to the conclusion that it is abuse. It's a move that is not possible and a horse doesn't do this alone; there needs to be someone pulling the bit left out of his mouth, they always drop on the right (right handed riders, they must jump off but because they are right handed they need their right hand free, since they can only have one hand free, because one hand has to keep pulling the bit out of the mouth till the horse actually falls)

I thought about how far I could make a horse drop then. I could only do this (with some real training): I could ride it sideways in a sort of a mountain, fall off and maybe make it stay down (a couple of degrees from vertical), or maybe have it slide down and stay, but whatever I would make that horse do; at no point he's going to loose balance. That's the whole point I'm making. Then it's not training anymore, that's the same as me hitting you K.O. and say we are acting.

That's just another thing that I call a tric, and trics never last, they are all based on reflexes and making use of them in a negative way. Though it takes some thinking to figure them out I dispise them. That you need to think about them even makes it worse what you are doing. It's the the last tool a horseman/woman should use, so never "just for fun" or to "do something different besides the usual (=meaning boring) training".

And I don't think that a "drophorse" would fall with me. 1: Because I wouldn't force it. 2: Because it would feel that I wouldn't use force, though I definitively would want it to fall. And that is something that is quite the opposite that they are doing. If you look at those faces that drop the horses, you always see the same hard, aggressive, criminal look on their faces, they want force, they want to inflinct pain. And they know. The tric is force. This is moving us to the next topic: the topic that is about what happens when "stunthorse" and I meet (and trainer is there).

In poor north African countries, ok I'm talking about Tunesia, locals like to make a living out of entertaining tourists, with their local dress up and local tric horses. Not bad horses, not at all, those Berbers. There was this black and this white horse. And their tric (not falling) : jumping around a camp fire, on a "Hop! if I'm remembering that right. One normal gallop jump, prance and jump up on the hindlegs, fall down on the hindlegs again and come down with the frontfeet, one gallop jump, etc. Very impressive, looked really powerful, but I think it was only impressive because I was watching, because a horse knows when its appreciated, and only then he will give it that little bit extra that makes a horse impressive. Anyway, at the end of their show they offered to put those tourists kids on their horses for some pictures. So I was going too of course, since I was such a kid. And that man had already spotted me from far away. And when I was near he saw how I petted that horse on the nose and he knew he had to keep me away from his horse if he wanted to continue having a showhorse. I of course didn't catch the drift, still deeply impressed and he puts me on, I automatically grab the reins, because I wanted to feel what his mouth was like and his contact and everything and he gets violent, he rips those reins away before I can have them and I was immediately removed from his horse like I was some sort of illiterate baby. I was really disappointed, you know, there you had these people and these horses you look up to, and then they turn you down like this.

Later when I was alone outside at the scene again where it had happenend, this guy comes to me, sits next to me, and tells me this story about how well those people trained their horse and how they put years of training in them and devoted their entire life to them, stepped out of school and how they were depending on them for their living, though they could make so much more with other things, regular school education, job, being of a high social class, big car, etc. Whatever, tries to tell me something what I just realized, was a lie. So it didn't impress me anymore, I got mad, didn't agree with anything he said. Imagine how much I would do for such a life?! (At that age (8 or something.))

Now I know of course how they trained their horses and with what material to keep them in the right (head) position (tie down) and it doesn't impress me anymore. They just did that (like in the Lippizaner school) just next to their horse first, with a long whip and voice, etc. nothing special, then sat on them while someone was still next to the horse, then left that person out and the horse would do it on voice commands. Not much of an impressive option for that horse to make, in any stage of the training. But when someone like me comes along and actually IS impressed and shows that, either because of body language and the horse seeing that or with the voice, then those jumps are gonna be higher and more impressive with a lot more force, input, everything. And that's what those horses did and it turned out those riders couldn't sit that out anymore; half the time they were pushed out of the sadle, the jumps were suddenly bigger as in training and they just got scared, and that's why that man had his looks on me, not because I was such a good, interested, knowledgable, respecting, impressed, small collegial tourist, no more like the opposite. I was a threat to his living and the respect he had carefully gained in society. So please draw your conclusion about stunthorses and their "masters":

If I am totally crazy about horses, and those trainers don't like me, based on seeing me 5 seconds making a contact with a horse that I just pet on the nose and say a couple of words to, in the distance, in the dark, then what does that tell you about reality? All I needed to know. No, actually, I needed to know of course why they couldn't manifest their horses through a kind way. I wanted to know how they did it, how they thought they could make their (any) horse look impressive through using, force, pain, misunderstanding and the worst, disrespect. They at least didn't agree with my approach. They obviously forgot the most basic thing then there is to know about horses and training, at their "complicated, high level" of training. And I was disappointed because they were hiding what they were really doing. And because of this stupid guy that came up to me to tell me something to depress me and try to convince me to forget about horses/become a horsetrainer.

Now I have to say of course how I would do it then; I said I could do it better:

First think logical. Something is wrong with making a horse jump to a certain command. It's the long way, isn't it? Because horses do not communicate like that and they never will. Why teach a horse a word when you can sit on this horse and communicate directly with body contact. The usual: leg, weight, reins. Because that is horsemanship. (This is such a difficult to define word that I've dedicated another page to it.) It is about maintaining what you have, working together, it's about a horse that is not satisfied until it makes that move that you asked for, it's about you as a rider who doesn't feel "one" until your horse makes the move you asked for. It is not neccessaryli the road of the least pain (through whips); it's the road of the best communication. And your contact as a rider should be like a razor (I don't mean sharp like a razor); you touch but you never push or cut and you never loose contact. So you follow every move and your signs are invisible.

So you just sit on your horse, not spoiled, you move your weight back, he moves his gravity point under yours, to do that he has to prance, you hold it, you give leg with both legs, you keep his head in position, and he jumps on his hindlegs. And that's it. Not a word said.

But watch out, best horses are those Spanish horses, preferably a horse which has a strong back. The stronger the back the more horizontal he can stay while prancing and the less the risc of loosing balance and falling over backwards or something. "
http://www.geocities.com/blmj2003/stunthorses.html


But notice that these methods are not EVENTER approved methods as they do not contain the abusive levels or beer!! However perhaps we can incorporate these new methods in the wedding flipping????

Karma, the Big Guy and Miss OTTB

[Painted Joe]

Hubby says that the color purple is more appropriate for a lesbian wedding, in fact EVERYONE MUST WEAR PURPLE to show our lesbian /gay pride!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif You and Duramax should wear white. I like the wedding dresses from the site that you have a link to.
Way kool! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif

Can I be the ring bearer? My Hubby will be the flower girl!

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[This message was edited by Katom Cree on Oct. 04, 2003 at 09:33 PM.]

[This message was edited by Katom Cree on Oct. 04, 2003 at 09:34 PM.]

[Duramax]

I was horse flipping all day today at FENCE ht's so I haven't been able to respond to the wedding suggestions! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif They sound fine by me! Love the idea of everyone wearing purple and me and Phaxxy in white!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

[Painted Joe]

Duramax - What about the idea of equinewhatever and Massive Impressive doing the ceremony?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Kerby]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phaxxton:

canadians - suggestions for where it should be?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

perhaps Banff... the mountains are nice... I would bring the long johns though.

how about Niagra Falls, a central location... near the USA and Can? You can happily flip your pony off the falls. Now THAT would be exciting.

Best wishes to the happy couple http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

**Founder of the Albertan clique. Member of the greenie clique, Canadian clique and 80's clique (whether they want me or not!!)and the new "I-kant-spell-worth-c*ap clique" **

** http://community.webshots.com/user/niftyneedles (Team Mule photo now posted.. weeheehee!)**

[Phaxxton]

Ok, i'll wear white, but with BLACK UNDERWEAR because... well, let's face it, this horse abusing lesbian doesn't deserve to wear white at her wedding.... not after pulling the panty horse off Duramax's head in front of the whole COTH BB! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Ok, everyone can wear purple, but I belive *technically* it should be lavendar. I think that the wedding colors should be rainbow, also to show our gay pride.

Duramax, how do you feel about the Weezer song "Pink Triangle" as our wedding song? You can read the lyrics here. (http://www.musicsonglyrics.com/W/Weezer/Weezer%20-%20Pink%20Triangle%20lyrics.htm) I think it's fitting.

any canadian eventers want to volunteer to do the ceremonial flipping of the horse? i'd bring my horse, but it's a long haul for him, and I haven't come out to him yet. I'm working up the nerve to tell him... I think I'd like him to meet Duramax first to ease the blow.

KC - you are so the ring bearer and hubby can be the flower girl - but I believe that requires wearing a purple dress. I guess that also means a purple tux for you.

I'm not so sure i want MI (Massive Idiot?... no, wait, that's not right....) there, but maybe he can go to the CA ceremony so he we can set him up with eqnjumperrider. At least that will be a good show.

we still need someone to perform the ceremony and a menu. what's appropriate food for an canadian eventer lesbian wedding?

[Painted Joe]

Thank you, thank you, thank you Phax. ( KC bows down.) I have NEVER been a ring bearer, alway the bridesmaid till I was a bride three years ago. Hubby is estatic to be the flower girl (knobby knees and all). Can he wear flowers in his hair and wear high heels?

As far a drink, hubby says beer (or other liquor) should be Canadian - for the Canadian ceremony, we should support them and their drinks.

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[This message was edited by Katom Cree on Oct. 04, 2003 at 11:10 PM.]

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Katom Cree:
Thank you, thank you, thank you Phax. ( KC bows down.) I have NEVER been a ring bearer, alway the bridesmaid till I was a bride three years ago. Hubby is estatic to be the flower girl (knobby knees and all). Can he wear flowers in his hair and wear high heels?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Of course! He'd look silly without them.... duh.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>As far a drink, hubby says beer (or other liquor) should be Canadian - for the Canadian ceremony, we should support them and their drinks.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, they are good enough to have laws in place allowing us to get married in the first place. Canadian beer it is... and perhaps some sort of hockey event as well, in homage to Canada... But can we have import the tequila?

[Painted Joe]

Hubby think maybe after a hocky game we can use one of the rinks and have polo on ice if, we ask them. What do you think? Of course horses cannot have borium, that would take away the fun ! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Horses can be slipping and flipping!!! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/winkgrin.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Imported Tequilla is fine.

Have you and Duramax set a date yet?

Member of the Western Clique, Quarter Horse Clique and Stallion Clique

Owner of and slave to a small herd - Indio Joe (Paint Stallion), Im A Skip (AppY Gelding), You Cant Imagine (QH mare), and Miss Orphanannie Two (QH mare)

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Katom Cree:


Have you and Duramax set a date yet?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Duramax, darling, have we set a date? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

[Duramax]

I seem to be taking on the potential groom role here in this wedding planning... aka, the backseat, and am agreeing to everything that is being suggested! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Everything sounds swell so far! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Sure to the location, no problems with the colors, underwear, and right on with the ringbearer, etc! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif UNCeventer will be my maid of honor, hehehe! http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

I agree that Massive Imp and eqnjumperriderperson should be united... definitely a match made in heaven!! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

When is National Be Cruel to Horses Day? I think we should wed on that day to further concrete our horse flipping lesbian ways. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/yes.gif

[subk]

No, no, no.

The coolest wedding I ever went to was at opening hunt. The bride and groom wore formal hunt clothes. (Shadbellies in black for the bride and formal pinks for the groom.) It took place right after the blessing of the hounds and the bride and groom "left" on horse back for the covert and the cast--complete with flowers in the braid job and a "just married" sign hanging of the tail of the grooms horse.

Here's what to do. Have it during a reoagnized event, like after dressage in an appropriately decorated XC start box. The "bride & groom" (you guys can flip for it) should be dressed for formal dressage with shadbellies and top hats. The attendants should be in color cooridinating XC wear (I think the purple goes here.) The guest should arrive in stadium wear. The TD should perform the ceremony.

[Phaxxton]

subk - how would you like to be the official wedding planner?

duramax - i can't do this all alone - you are in charge of planning the honeymoon. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[NorthStar95]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The TD should perform the ceremony <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif

[tecumsea]

I have been off camping/disc golf with the s/o and have missed all this this weekend. Wow, a wedding, It should be held in canada for the law here might be a problem.I guess we could try during an event. It would be quite stunning to see every one flip at the end of the ceremony. Purple definitly the color and I"ll help bring the booke. The back of the truck should hold eneough six packs.

[Sammy's Mom]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The "bride & groom" (you guys can flip for it) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is this flipping of a coin or their horses??????

[Phaxxton]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sammy's Mom:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> The "bride & groom" (you guys can flip for it) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is this flipping of a coin or their horses??????<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

it's flipping horses now. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/lol.gif http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[Scootie]

Hi, I'm a newbie. Can I come to the wedding too? Hey, ya'll do need someone to sit in the pews and go "boo hoo hoo, aren't they the sweetest things?" And after wasting the better part of a day and a half reading ALL twenty-five pages of this thread, I think I DESERVE an invite.

Well, I'm not exactly an eventer but I do abuse my horse. I drag him right up out of the pasture and make him carry my bwana butt all over hell and creation and if that aint bad enough I can try to get him to flip. But I don't think I will be able to as he would get pissed off royally. Of course if I piss him off well enough, I will certainly be as cruel as the eventers in the pictures!

Man, too bad eqnjumperbimbo has apparently retreated to the nether regions of Rancho Stinky Feet and can not appreciate the magnitude of her work. Perhaps someone should send her an invite and set her up with Dimunitive Unimpressive.

Also, Mr. Scootie wants to come too. He is not a horse person per se, but he does foot the bills. So I think it would be very nice of you to allow him to be an Honorary Lesbian so he can fit right in.

Thank you for your attention to this matter, I eagerly await our invitation.

Founder and president of the No-Legged Rider Clique

[Phaxxton]

Mr. and Mrs. Scootie are more than welcome. And Mr. Scootie can be an honorary lesbian for the day, providing he wears purple! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[Scootie]

Why, thank you ever so...

BTW, Mr. Scootie looks SMASHING in purple.

Founder and president of the No-Legged Rider Clique

[tecumsea]

So are we in canada or what. I need to pack the beer and a passport. Plus the flipping horse.

[Duramax]

Definitely Canada, pack the beer! http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

As far as the date goes... when is National Lesbian Pride Day? http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[tecumsea]

I did a taste test of the beer last nite so I will have to pack alittle more. Long johns are out and I may paint the truck purple for the occasion. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Phaxxton]

All right, here we go:

Every member of COTH BB is invited. There will be separate seating for trolls.

Date: this coming Friday night because that is when all the cool people go out.

Place: Canada (you know, that big country dead north of us - just pull out a map and you'll find it)

Directions: Head north until you reach Canadian border. Then follow the purple arrows.

Attire: "purple tie"

Menu: Beer and imported tequila.

Entertainment: tecumsea and her flipping horse

ok, i think we are all set! i'm so nervous - i hope i don't get cold feet!