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View Full Version : Farm Corollaries to Murphy's Law



dressagetraks
Nov. 21, 2009, 07:38 PM
Just something I got to thinking of tonight, while encountering the first one.

The minute you are handling a nice, slobbery, icky, sticky, just-used ivermectin tube, your nose will start itching.

If you ever say, "He always/never . . . " then this time he won't/will.

If you wonder if you left the water on, the answer is determined by whether you go back or not. If you go back to check, you did not. If you don't, you did.

Others?

pintopiaffe
Nov. 21, 2009, 07:53 PM
If you wonder if you left the water on, the answer is determined by whether you go back or not. If you go back to check, you did not. If you don't, you did.


That is so brutally, painfully true... :no: :p

If you leave them out, it will thunder or freezing rain... if you leave them in, the front will pass far south and it will be the nicest day of the week.

I'm sure I'll think of more... Murphy was an Irishman afterall.

bird4416
Nov. 21, 2009, 08:06 PM
When you fall off, you will land on your most recent injury.

bird4416
Nov. 21, 2009, 08:07 PM
If you mention the word sale to your horse, he will go lame.

retreadeventer
Nov. 21, 2009, 08:12 PM
The low tire on the horse trailer will always go flat when you are already late.

The Jack Russells will chase the cat through the newest horse's stall within minutes after you unload him and get the protective shipping boots off him.

If you pile the shavings outside the barn, it will rain.
If you pile the shavings inside the barn, it will not rain, and it will make you sneeze for threee weeks until the pile is used up.

The INSTANT you say, "he'll walk right on", he trips, jumps up, hits his head on the top of the trailer, fling himself, backs up, rips the lead rope through your hand and gets loose, running all over the farm for 15 minutes then you spend the next hour reloading.

The barn's hotwater heater will break the exact day you need to bathe four hunt horses for a 10am start.

There is no greater incentive than a pending thunderstorm for encouraging a baler to breakdown, and further, the forecasted amount of rain has a direct relation with how expensive the part will be.

How are those?

MunchkinsMom
Nov. 21, 2009, 08:56 PM
If you have to run quickly to the barn to do anything wearing clean clothing that you need to go out in public in, you can bet that one of the horses will manage to get you dirty.

SpringOakFarm
Nov. 21, 2009, 09:08 PM
When you're one trip away from your turn to enter the show arena, you will suddenly have to pee.

When one of his blankets is at the cleaners, the leg straps or buckles on the alternate blanket are likely to break.

Grataan
Nov. 21, 2009, 11:41 PM
You could repair an exploded artery on a black horse and not spill one drop of blood, but the minute you start working on a light gray or a horse with lots of chrome the teensiest needle prick gushes like Old Faithful.

Oh and THAT's the one whose owner will be in attendance.

pinkdiamondracing
Nov. 21, 2009, 11:53 PM
If you go out to blanket the two young fillies because the low is going to be in the 30's-- you will not be able to catch them, it will be cold and it will rain that night.

Noctis
Nov. 22, 2009, 12:09 AM
If you go out to blanket the two young fillies because the low is going to be in the 30's-- you will not be able to catch them, it will be cold and it will rain that night.

And if you DO get the darn fillies blanketed, the temps will skyrocket into the 70's within 2hrs. *headdesk*

Foxtrot's
Nov. 22, 2009, 12:15 AM
That the amount of horses you have on your place will directly relate to the amount of space you have...you will never have excess space/stalls.

MHM
Nov. 22, 2009, 01:05 AM
Horses are twice as likely to lose shoes the day AFTER the blacksmith's most recent visit.

Horses with fragile, patched, acrylic feet are 5 times as likely to lose shoes that day.

The odds get even worse if the blacksmith goes out of town.

Peggy
Nov. 22, 2009, 02:02 AM
Temperatures will be well above normal until you finally give in and body clip your horse. Then they will plunge to below-normal.

If two people buy weanlings, the taller person will end up with the shorter mature horse.

If you drag yourself out of bed to ride in the 8 am lesson b/c only one other person had signed up for it by the time you left the barn the day before, seven people (including at least one with a psycho horse, one who has panic attacks during every lesson, one who never figured out left-sides together when passing...) will have signed up by the next morning.

If you take your standing wraps home to wash them and then forget them the next day, that is the day that you will need them for sure.

When you get the justifiably reactive rehab horse out because it seems so nice and quiet, suddenly the gardeners will arrive with blowers and weed-whackers, people with umbrellas that they open and close rapidly will walk down the road and stop to watch, small boys on bicycles will appear from nowhere, and someone will walk a zebra down the road. (someone truly did walk a zebra down the road last weekend at the beginning of our lesson, but it was mercifully before it was time for the rehab horse)

(I had one pull a re-tacked on shoe as the farrier was pulling out the driveway: I ran after him, but it was too late)

strawberry roan
Nov. 22, 2009, 07:10 AM
The day you have your horse all soaped up in the wash stall is the day your well pump dies.
The day you don't sweep the aisle because you are just too tired from the day is the day the MFH stops by, of course. :)

blueboo
Nov. 22, 2009, 08:26 AM
The very instant you or your DH states "It will only take about an hour to do XXXX", you can be positive that three days later you'll still be trying to get it finished.

No matter that you live miles from town on a rarely traveled back road - if you run out of your house in the morning in your ratty bathrobe to check on something, that's when every car within a hundred miles decides to take the scenic route right by your driveway.

No goat will get it's head stuck in the fence furthest from the barn/house until you are dressed for work and walking out the door to go to work.

The horses will absolutely hover around the gate until the instant you get back to the farm with wormers/shots/new halter or whatever it is that you want to give-try right now, and then they'll both take off to the absloute far end of the pasture - at the top of the mountain, and stay there indefinately.

The mini donkey will be completley in your pocket and under your feet until the day you decide to do her feet - and then acts like one of the wild burros - staying just out of reach, ducking all attempts to catch her and hiding behind any convenient goat.

Any mud, anywhere, will be just deep enough to rise over the top of whatever mud shoes/boots you put on that morning.

dressagetraks
Nov. 22, 2009, 09:19 AM
A horse can turn himself in 15 minutes from a neatly groomed equine into a walking mud pie who looks like he has never been groomed this decade - but he will save up his best efforts at this for the days when somebody is coming to look at the horses.

wateryglen
Nov. 22, 2009, 09:48 AM
If you decide to clip your horse the day before an opening hunt meet; then you can guarantee your clippers will break OR your blades will crash....don't ask me how I know this......

This thread makes me howl!!!
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

twofatponies
Nov. 22, 2009, 01:02 PM
The day you ask a friend who ships in if you can use her trailer to review trailer loading while she is having her lesson is the day your horse will forget it ever knew how to load, so your friend has to spend an extra hour at the barn watching trailer training. :D

And from auditing many clinics I know very well that the day you pay tons of money to ride with a European trainer is the day your excellent new fancy dressage horse will act like he's still at training level, and you'll spend the whole expensive lesson working on forward, willing and on-the-bit.

horsetales
Nov. 22, 2009, 01:08 PM
If you take your eyes off the camera for a quick shower, your mare will foal.

The higher the show fees are, the more likely your horse will go lame.

If the weather turns suddenly cold/wet, the blanket you need will not be available

If your horse develops rain rot, abcess or other ailment, your tack store will be out of the supply you need. If you are lucky enough to find Micro Tek or other liquid in stock you will drop it at home and break the sprayer and spill half of it

bird4416
Nov. 22, 2009, 01:28 PM
If you need a vet in an emergency, look at the calendar, its probably the weekend so you get that nice emergency call charge,

fooler
Nov. 22, 2009, 01:36 PM
The more important the time off the farm, such as family reunion, family holiday gathering or meeting with new boss, etc.
The greater the chance one or more of your horses will colic, have an injury requiring immediate Vet care, break out of their pasture. Nothing that can be handled in a few moments & allow you to stay in 'off-the-farm' clothing.

LauraKY
Nov. 22, 2009, 01:37 PM
If you mention the word sale to your horse, he will go lame.

Or, will wait to go lame until the Grand Prix show jumper travels 60 miles to look at him. Sound in the a.m., lame in the afternoon.

My horses eye will always start to swell after 5:00 on a Friday afternoon, so I have to pay for an emergency vet call. (He plays hard, now have IV banamine on hand).
Only if we are very low on bedding, will the farm supply store run out.

GoneAwayFarmCT
Nov. 22, 2009, 01:51 PM
If you ship one horse to the vet, the other one will be spurting blood thirty minutes after the bus leaves. [Happened to me last week. Oy.]

hellerkm
Nov. 22, 2009, 02:04 PM
The kid you dressed in her show clothes and carefully cover in over sized sweats will ( behind your back) ask her father for a hotdog with MUSTARD as soon as you sit her on the back of the pony( uncovered), and she will be covered in mustard!!!


If you lesson off the farm where you board you will always be one glove, boot, spur, short when you arrive at your lesson!!!

greysandbays
Nov. 22, 2009, 06:31 PM
When you cut the twines on a hay bale and go to pull the twines off, you WILL be standing on the other end of the twines. Even if you have not moved your feet since you cut the twines.

coloredhorse
Nov. 22, 2009, 06:42 PM
If you mention the word sale to your horse, he will go lame.

This is equally true for the word "show" and the phrase "clinic with [fill in big name of your choice]."

bird4416
Nov. 22, 2009, 07:04 PM
These are great. Keep them coming.

twofatponies
Nov. 22, 2009, 07:20 PM
Within a year of purchasing any horse, no matter how lovely, you will hear something like "Oh, you have that chestnut gelding that nearly killed so-and-so? How's he doing?" or "Wasn't that the mare who picked that groom up and shook him like a rat?"

lovemyoldguy
Nov. 22, 2009, 08:01 PM
LOL @ twofatponies! Too funny...

allpurpose
Nov. 22, 2009, 08:30 PM
No matter how long the hose is, it's too short to:

1) Reach the water trough
2) Bathe the horse you're holding who has now danced *just* past the end of the hose,
3) Reach the last stall in the barn

winfieldfarm
Nov. 22, 2009, 08:45 PM
no matter how much time, planning, preparation and early morning work you put in, you will always need 5 more minutes to feel ready to go in the show ring.

Inevitably, the well broke, seasoned show horse, who goes like a dream at home, will act like a complete turd for the green lesson kid while her grandparents watch from the stands at her first horseshow.

Trevelyan96
Nov. 22, 2009, 09:15 PM
The rains that end a drought will always come torrentially after the growing season to insure you have enough mud.

allpurpose
Nov. 22, 2009, 09:21 PM
OH OH! I've got another one...

The 3 wild yearlings that aren't wearing halters WILL burst through the gate and run free while the vet is there treating your old gelding with a 105.5 fever. At night...when no one else is around but you and the new vet (true story, and everyone lived to tell the tale).:no:

Renn/aissance
Nov. 22, 2009, 10:55 PM
The day you stop out at the barn in dress clothes to throw an extra rug on because it'll be a cold night is the day that your horse headbutts you into a mud puddle. Then the night is warm anyhow.

The day you need to save that last clean polo and pair of jeans for later so you wear pajamas and a tee-shirt to work at the barn is the day a horse will catastrophically injure itself, necessitating the neighbor's help, the owners to come home, and two vets to be at the farm. (Oh, this will also be the day that the mice get into the clean bandages, so you try to create a pressure wrap with one leg off of the pajamas since those are the cleanest things on hand. It works, but you look oh so classy and responsible when the owner comes back to meet the vet and the injured filly.)

The day you're running short on time and the barn is full of clients, you will badly split two pairs of jeans (one climbing a fence and the other avoiding a kicking horse) and your schooling breeches (mounting up) and need to find replacements for each item, on account of nobody needs to see your bright red underwear.

The day you wear your favorite T-shirt to the barn, either your horse will chew a hole in it or you will wind up soaked in Betadine. Don't ask.

The day your horse accidentally goes out in his show sheet instead of the one with all the patches is the day he figures out how to partially undress himself and rips the rest of the sheet off of him. Farewell, faithful Baker sheet, rest in peace.

This is why horse people can't have nice things. :winkgrin:

kellidahorsegirl
Nov. 22, 2009, 11:37 PM
The day you volunteer your time to scribe for a hunter show judge at a college show is the day you also warmed up horses prior to the show and ripped your pants horizontally along the bottom edge of one butt cheek while wearing a thong......and have to wear those pants the rest of the day while walking around with the judge in front of the stands,,,,proudly :p

and

regardless of what kind of hose or where you place it, the horse WILL stand on it...

PhoenixFarm
Nov. 23, 2009, 12:09 PM
The very instant you or your DH states "It will only take about an hour to do XXXX", you can be positive that three days later you'll still be trying to get it finished.

No goat will get it's head stuck in the fence furthest from the barn/house until you are dressed for work and walking out the door to go to work.

The mini donkey will be completley in your pocket and under your feet until the day you decide to do her feet - and then acts like one of the wild burros - staying just out of reach, ducking all attempts to catch her and hiding behind any convenient goat.

Any mud, anywhere, will be just deep enough to rise over the top of whatever mud shoes/boots you put on that morning.

Oh my God, do you secretly live at my house? That's just eerie . . . :winkgrin:

Here's a few more:

The amount of "helicopter parent" tendencies exhibited by a given boarder over their horse's care will be in direct proportion to the death wish said boarder's horse possesses. Your farm may have gone months without a vet, but THAT BOARDER'S horse will be the one to attempt to remove it's own ankle on a rock.

The more you are in need of barn cats, the less likely they are to stay around. When you've got plenty, 5 more show up.

The more things you are attempting to cram in to a day, the more likely something will happen in your barn requiring you to drop everything and change all your plans. Might be a wound that needs stitching, might be a broken pipe, the possibilities are endless.

The number of demands a given prospective buyer makes about a horse's abilities, is in inverse proportion to their actual riding ability.

bird4416
Nov. 23, 2009, 12:14 PM
There is no such thing as a free horse.

Miss J
Nov. 23, 2009, 12:56 PM
If you wonder if you left the water on, the answer is determined by whether you go back or not. If you go back to check, you did not. If you don't, you did.

Others?

*sticks hand up* best water story ever!
I was twleve, I had bathed my pony and I wanted him in a paddock instead of his usual pasture place at my stable, and since that's not his usual spot I had to fill a bucket of water for him. So I get the hose turn it on, wait till I think it's full enough then shut the tap off...or I thought I had:(
I had infact cranked it full blast and left for the night.....next day I had a very angry stable owner, (and at twelve he was a very imposing and scary man) storm up to me and point in my face do you know what you did last night???!

I would have paid someone to kill me right then and there!!! The whole series of paddocks had flooded and the other horsese were not happy!

I had to pay him $12 of my own money to pay for the water used....not too bad but the worst was seeing him come up to me with a scowl on his face... as a result I ALWAYS check to make sure the hose isn't running!!! ALWAYS!

draftdriver
Nov. 23, 2009, 02:01 PM
On the one, non-rainy day of the week, you have too much to do to stop at the feed store with your only vehicle -- an open box pickup, necessitating the transport of several bags of horse feed on the passenger seat and floor of the truck on one of the following 5 rainy days.

jherold
Nov. 23, 2009, 03:31 PM
If you are running late, the trainer, farrier or vet, will, for the first time ever on record, be early. And then be pissed at you for being late...

bird4416
Nov. 23, 2009, 04:21 PM
If you are running late, the trainer, farrier or vet, will, for the first time ever on record, be early. And then be pissed at you for being late...


Ain't that the truth.

PhoenixFarm
Nov. 23, 2009, 10:35 PM
This thread cursed me last night, LOL.

10:00 last night (and since we have a new baby we were sound asleep in our PJs) phone rings. It's my farm manager who lives a few miles down the road. Her sister had just called as she had supposedly been driving by the farm, and found some horses loose on the road. She claimed to have "chased them into someone's yard" :confused: and described them as "big and dark" :confused::confused:.

So exhausted, warm and snuggly, Mr. PF and I laid there for ten minutes debating what to do--the chances of a horse escaping from, or being chased on to our property is pretty damn slim--we have good, new fencing, and an electronic gate. But we of course know the farm related Murphy's Law (see all the above posts about whether or not a hose is running), and knew that if we didn't get out of bed, it would be our horses loose eating some neighbors begonias in the morning, OR we would have suddenly acquired two new mouths to feed who probably would have ended up in the pool.

So we suited up, strapped the wee one into the baby Bjorn, grabbed flashlights, and hiked all over heck's half acre doing head counts in the dark, trying not to get trampled by the horses spooking at the "flashlight monsters".

Of course, because we checked, the loose ones weren't ours, nor had they been deposited on our property.

Ahh, Murhpy.:lol::lol::lol::lol:

mroades
Nov. 23, 2009, 10:48 PM
If you are running late, the trainer, farrier or vet, will, for the first time ever on record, be early. And then be pissed at you for being late...


YUP:yes:

pony grandma
Nov. 23, 2009, 11:41 PM
Yep, the time my kids missed the bus back when they were in grade school (just 2 miles down the road) and it's the one time that I drive them down there still in my bathrobe and slippers .... well our friend the dairy farmer, whose farm is across the road from the school ... his cows are all out in the road :yes:

So there I am, in my best!, out there in the ditch rounding up cows and pushing them back thru the hole in the fence. So my kids are really embarrassed b/c all the buses are pulling in and there I be. :D Everyone's going, hey, isn't that your MOM out there in her pajamas????

mroades
Nov. 24, 2009, 07:33 AM
oh yeah, and your truck will break in direct proportion to how much you need it or how broke you are (see diesel fuel removal thread)

My2cents
Nov. 24, 2009, 07:47 AM
The lightbulb you need to replace in the stall, wasn't on your shopping list when you went to the store. So, you run to the local store and buy ONE lightbulb. You then remember that the step ladder has migrated to the garage for the needed replacement of the burnt out lights in the garage, of which, OF COURSE were NOT added to the 'need light bulbs' list, so you only bought ONE light bulb to replace the burnt out stall light bulb. So back to the store to buy enough light bulbs to replace the two in the garage. Now, garage lights are replaced, stall light is replaced and sure enough, this morning, this VERY MORNING, 2 of the other stall lights are out. Guess where I'm going today?

alteringwego
Nov. 24, 2009, 08:06 AM
this thread is so sad... and soooo true!

millerra
Nov. 24, 2009, 11:26 AM
No matter how far into the shed you stack the hay, some nimrod will be able to reach over the gate and pull at least one bale down and into their reach.

The automatic heated water tank will start to leak (slowly drip and over-fill, forming a slick sheet of ice) on the coldest, windiest, snowiest night of the year. For real, every @#%^^ year.

FYI - coldest, windiest night = driving snow, 20-30 mph wind and at least -20 air temp. Wind chill? does it matter? I call it hell.

twofatponies
Nov. 24, 2009, 12:24 PM
If you are running late, the trainer, farrier or vet, will, for the first time ever on record, be early. And then be pissed at you for being late...

Too true!!!

Every time I get there "on time", I wait an hour and a half. If I have them call me when they are "10 minutes away" so I can not wait around, then they are always somehow there long before me, calling me impatiently...and I live 5 minutes away.

dressagetraks
Nov. 24, 2009, 02:05 PM
From this morning, sigh.

The hose will develop a kink in it when it wishes, no matter how often you have unkinked it. And when you lean over to re-unkink it, you will manage to shower yourself with the end while straightening up. At least you will on a cold, windy day. In summer, when a shower would feel good, you will avoid one.

twofatponies
Nov. 24, 2009, 02:32 PM
Oh, another great one. Sigh.

After nearly three weeks off because of your busy work schedule and bad weather, when the sun finally comes out and you have time to ride for one day, THEN your horse decide to be NQR, so you can spend the day fussing over her and debating whether to call the vet.

ponymom64
Nov. 25, 2009, 11:23 AM
The day your horse goes back to work after a week off for being lame is the day he bashes his eye necessitating an emergency (after hours) visit from the vet. Of course being a horse, the bashed eye develops an ulcer that requires the vet to come out every three days for a recheck and also being a horse, the eye takes 3 x the expected time to heal. Then, once the eye has sufficiently healed and you schedule a Sunday lesson with a BNT, Saturday afternoon, the horse pulls a shoe.....

dressagetraks
Nov. 25, 2009, 06:26 PM
If you EVER go out for "just a quick check of the pasture trough" while wearing houseshoes, not even worth taking off the warm houseshoes and putting your boots on for such a little errand not involving direct contact with the horses, you WILL have the hose escape like a bucking bronco, and in efforts to tame it, you will saturate yourself, the Bernese Mountain Dog (who will later shake inside), and both nice, formerly warm houseshoes. :rolleyes::sigh:

MHM
Nov. 25, 2009, 06:40 PM
The whole footwear issue comes down to one cast iron rule:

ALWAYS wear proper shoes- or you'll regret it. :lol: