CSI: Equine or Law & Order: COTH ? [Archive]

EponaRoan

Nov. 17, 2009, 01:28 PM

There have been a number of threads/incidents which would make awesome stories for an equine version of CSI or Law & Order - CSI would probably be more fun though! I bet we can easily come up with 20 stories for a first season and it wouldn't be too difficult to get that golden 100 so we could go into sydication & rake in the big bucks. :lol:

Which are your picks? There are the current posts about the vet school mixup which turned out to be a clerical error, but what if it were more sinister? And there's the embryo transplant mystery foal ... what if it was Zenyatta's love child with Secretariat? ;)

rizzodm

Nov. 17, 2009, 01:45 PM

How about the chestnut bred to the chestnut(at a large stallion breeding facility) that produced a bay foal.

Dawn

lcw579

Nov. 17, 2009, 01:55 PM

Don't forget the FL Horse Saga!

Guilherme

Nov. 17, 2009, 02:12 PM

mjrtango93

Nov. 17, 2009, 02:15 PM

I would think Law and Order would last longer. CSI is way more entertaining, but don't people getted offed in every episode. There is some stories of that happening (FL butcher ring) but I would think with all the land, contract, boarding disputes a Law and Order type might have more to it.

Alagirl

Nov. 17, 2009, 02:15 PM

Sry, but Zenyata's foal by Secretariat would be a line of 'As the Barn Turns'

Missing horse women.... (:()

Stalkers

ShotenStar

Nov. 17, 2009, 03:16 PM

Not that CSI is not entertaining (it is), it's just that it's also as real as flying saucers, hunted ghosts, the stargates. :lol:

G.

The Stargate's not Real?

Pout. Whine. I wanted to go to P39653 for the holidays ....

:winkgrin:

*star*

LearnToFly

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:01 PM

Good Guinness needs to make an appearance too

EponaRoan

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:15 PM

Don't forget the FL Horse Saga!

That could be the arc for season one! Then the person in FL who had to move because she was being abused by the landlord who wound up going to Texas and telling the same story about the person who rescued her could be the arc for season two!

EponaRoan

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:18 PM

Yeah, but..."CSI science" is "TV science" and "TV science" is to "science" as "reality TV" is to "reality." :)

Not that CSI is not entertaining (it is), it's just that it's also as real as flying saucers, hunted ghosts, the stargates. :lol:

I snort at your reality! You mean my dog, Teal'c is not named after a real guy who used to have a symbiote larvae & a gold symbol on his forehead?

Reality/schmeality. :p

I would think Law and Order would last longer. CSI is way more entertaining, but don't people getted offed in every episode.

Perhaps we need to do sort of a hybrid and cross breed the two to come up with something totally different. ;)

Mystery Horse! doesn't cut it.

Any good ideas for titles?

KateKat

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:23 PM

Cold Case actually just did an episode about jockeys and briefly touched on horse slaughter...it wasn't bad

But I agree that most of the twisted stuff people seem to post about on the board belongs on Law and Order. Definitely.

Calvincrowe

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:26 PM

Well, my first posts on here lo these many years ago would make a great TV episode. My horse was leased, the lessee told me he died, I investigated with local vets/renderers and found he was actually being sold to a buyer in Canada. I used the state Brand Inspector, my wits and some wonderful Canadian COTHrs to find and retrieve him (at great personal expense--lesson learned!) It was a horrible time made bearable by the good folk on COTH.

cloudyandcallie

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:45 PM

cloudyandcallie

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:48 PM

Good Guinness needs to make an appearance too

This would be the 2nd episode: hey wait! Where is he and where is the imposter? And the crazy crayola trainer.

EponaRoan

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:50 PM

And what good would a horsey mystery series be without a 'child in my pasture' episode?

Sandy M

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:52 PM

Well, of course, Law & Order did a riff on Mrs. Brach/horses killed for insurance. It was just re-run last weekend.

And CSI did a drug smuggling number, though the horse, supposedly a great jumper mare, sure didn't look much like one. LOL And, of course, the horse ended up dead so it could be necropsied and ...oooooh....drugs!!!!! Naughty vet!!

harveyhorses

Nov. 17, 2009, 04:59 PM

If an episode needs any red herrings there is the horse who can escape from his stall and let all the others out too. :winkgrin:
I think you (we?) are on to something!
I like L&O more anyway:yes:

kookicat

Nov. 17, 2009, 05:09 PM

And what good would a horsey mystery series be without a 'child in my pasture' episode?

:lol: Would that mean I got royalties? :winkgrin:

EponaRoan

Nov. 17, 2009, 05:16 PM

:lol: Would that mean I got royalties? :winkgrin:

Naw, we're going to go with the "ripped from the headlines" but not based on any real person(s) disclaimer so we can avoid royalties and lawsuits. ;)

Guilherme

Nov. 17, 2009, 05:55 PM

Don't forget the CSI Miami episode where we learned that every professional horse trainer carries a captive bolt gun in their trailer. :eek:

I probably should also note that "Law and Order law" is to "law" as "Survivor: Whereever" is to "wilderness survival."

Maybe we should just turn the whole project over to R. Lee Ermy and let him blow stuff up from horseback. :cool:

G.

equineartworks

Nov. 17, 2009, 07:12 PM

I would just like an episode where we find out how all those bizarre things like finding one horse wearing in the morning what you put on your other horse the night before. You know..those tin foil hat moments we always blame on ponies? :lol:

kookicat

Nov. 17, 2009, 07:25 PM

Naw, we're going to go with the "ripped from the headlines" but not based on any real person(s) disclaimer so we can avoid royalties and lawsuits. ;)

Aw, no far. Can I pick the person who plays me then? :winkgrin::lol:

Grataan

Nov. 17, 2009, 07:30 PM

Maybe we should just turn the whole project over to R. Lee Ermy and let him blow stuff up from horseback. :cool:

G.
at least he can ride lol. I'd pay money to see that lol.

Guilherme

Nov. 17, 2009, 07:59 PM

at least he can ride lol. I'd pay money to see that lol.

He doesn't do a bad job! :lol:

In an episode a couple of weeks back he mounted up and tried to hit a jug (about the size of a 5 gal. carboy) with a .45 with live ammo (as opposed to a cowboy mounted shoot scenario with blanks). He's a hand with a pistol but could not hit that jug from an easy lope in three tries. He gave the pistol to his stunt man (who'd hit the jug regularly from the same horse) and he hit it a couple of more times. :)

Compensating for all that movement is tough. A good advertisement for a soft gaited horse, though!!!!! ;)

G.

EponaRoan

Nov. 18, 2009, 12:03 AM

I would just like an episode where we find out how all those bizarre things like finding one horse wearing in the morning what you put on your other horse the night before.

Horsey slumber parties? Bored crop circle aliens? :lol: That would be awesome for one of the lighter episodes or a B plot though.

Aw, no far. Can I pick the person who plays me then? :winkgrin::lol:

As long as they come cheap or owe special favors to the producers, what the heck. ;)

sissyfoo

Nov. 18, 2009, 12:21 AM

The Stargate's not Real?

Pout. Whine. I wanted to go to P39653 for the holidays ....

:winkgrin:

*star*

*shhhhh*
Plausible deniability :cool:

I call horse drama"As the Muck Bucket Turns" LOL

I think a good CSI skit could be one tracing to the evil wildlife some of us seem to encounter rather frequently
ie
monster snakes, devil dogs, Lions Tigers and Bears...OH MY!
seriously though-there are enough good wildlife stories to make quite a few episodes

RNB

Nov. 18, 2009, 12:43 AM

Another episode.....

My very first post back in '05......Daughter's pony was sold without my knowledge, trainers kept money, FBI got involved, 4 year 7 state investigation, trainers charged with 70+ federal counts, plead guilty, went to prison, currently banned by the USEF, many victims, abuse, death threats, case highlighted during National Victims Week 2006.........

Perhaps this should be two episodes. :winkgrin:

Alagirl

Nov. 18, 2009, 02:12 AM

kookicat

Nov. 18, 2009, 07:45 AM

As long as they come cheap or owe special favors to the producers, what the heck. ;)

What, you mean I can't pick Keira Knightley? :no::lol::lol::lol:

EponaRoan

Nov. 18, 2009, 11:29 AM

What, you mean I can't pick Keira Knightley? :no::lol::lol::lol:

She's a skinny little thing - will she even show up on film these days? ;)

I remember RNB & Calvincrowe's situations and agree RNB's would have to be spread out. Perhaps as a season finale/cliffhanger?

I dunno - I would watch!

Of course no show is complete without charactors. Gotta be interesting and charismatic right off the bat (unlike most of the crew of Stargate: Universe). So, we need to recruit good actors to be our investigators. Of course if we lean sort of towards the L&O format, we can have lots of fun guests. Let's pretend they all owe the producers for something ;) and can't refuse us. Eye candy is a plus - and we should throw in shirtless hunky guys (on horseback?) just for the hell of it. And because they're fun to look at. (And of course we'll have bodacious gals too.) And awesome charactor actors a la Jerry Orbach & the like because they're awesome. :yes:

Oooh - how about the filly who got pregnant at the track and they never could figure out the baby daddy? Foal was subsequently registered with the JC, but papers only allowed her to race and not have any registered foals.

lcw579

Nov. 18, 2009, 12:05 PM

Okay, so does the first season begin with all these stolen, misappropriated horses? Do we have a four horse driven by a fetching young man with a striking resemblance to Johnny Depp (since he is the current sexiest man alive) making his way across the country picking up horses to deliver to Florida? He stops and picks up RNB's pony in the middle of the night so there will be no witnesses, then off to Calvincrowe's for her "dead" horse (who for the sake of the story line is now going to Fl instead of Canada) and then off to pick up the gelding headed down for his short trial period. That does leave us one stall.... Am I missing someone?

LearnToFly

Nov. 18, 2009, 12:08 PM

And it's gotta have a "Dexter" element. Someone going around stealing horses to get them out of bad homes. He knows its wrong, but he does it to channel his negative energy and "upgrade" these horses.

EponaRoan

Nov. 18, 2009, 05:23 PM

If you wanted to go darker, you could have a Tony Soprano like character named "The Enforcer" who kills people who kill horses. Remember, Tony killed one of his own guys who set the fire that wound up killing his racehorse.

Oh, and then there's the current case of the 12 year old broodmare who hadn't raced in years being entered in a race and then being scratched. There was a similar case with Phantom on Tour a few years back.

myrna

Nov. 18, 2009, 05:27 PM

and how could we forget Capone and DS?

EponaRoan

Nov. 18, 2009, 05:32 PM

and how could we forget Capone and DS?

Well, we can try real hard. :eek: And then we can have The Enforcer deal with the situation.

LearnToFly

Nov. 18, 2009, 05:48 PM

Oh, and then there's the current case of the 12 year old broodmare who hadn't raced in years being entered in a race and then being scratched. There was a similar case with Phantom on Tour a few years back.

say whaaaat?

Alagirl

Nov. 18, 2009, 06:53 PM

say whaaaat?

race forum, still par of COTH ;)

cloudyandcallie

Nov. 18, 2009, 07:06 PM

and how could we forget Capone and DS?

Oh oh, careful! I got a demerit from the mods on the last thread!

But yes, we must have lots of uh, different crimes, but no horse deaths! Just people, lots of people deaths in the series. And if for example, Kookicat's story makes the series, then she gets to play an extra in the story.
And we can have 2Jakes catch a huge ssssssnake in one series (SSSSSNake squeezes bad guy and disposes of him before capture.) and lots of other good Coth stories.
And we must have a good looking vet, plus some cameos by "real" horsepeople, maybe George Morris could make an appearance?:lol:

We can have a bear threat, a coyote threat, a wolf threat, and a mountain lion threat.
And for my favorite show, we could have a trimmer vs. shoer issue, with one of them murdering the other with a rasp or hoof knife. Lots of suspects in that one, all on the barefoot threads on coth.

EponaRoan

Nov. 18, 2009, 11:44 PM

Phantom on Tour:

http://www.bloodhorse.com/horse-racing/articles/8569/phantom-on-tour-moving-to-kentucky-derby-museum

The way I see a Capone/Zoo like story playing out is that the heroes find body parts scattered. When identified, they are those of someone or several someones accused of doing unseemly things to horses. Turns out there's a Dexter/Tony Soprano-like serial killer taking care of business in his own way. Does he get caught or just continue as a unseen charactor for the length of the show's run? I say we keep him (or her!) active and veiled in mystery.

And yes, cameos/extra appearances by lots of COTH regulars & their equines and other famous people/horses. Zenyatta & Rachel Alexandra for special guest star status! :D

myrna

Nov. 18, 2009, 11:58 PM

but only some specific body parts.................

EponaRoan

Nov. 19, 2009, 12:03 AM

but only some specific body parts.................

Well, it depends if we're on a regular network or cable! ;):lol::D Probably more money in regular network and syndication, ya know. But we can certainly allude to it - people can figure it out, I think. ;)

cloudyandcallie

Nov. 19, 2009, 02:49 PM

We can get sponsors to pay to support our series. Smartpak and Dover, and my horse can drink Coke (since Coke just got pulled out of all the Costcos, they will want to get more sales) and Beck's, we gotta have a beer sponsor and Cloudy volunteers to drink a lot of that also. (as well a lot of cothers:lol:) And Metamucil, Cloudy drinks that like orange juice, oh add Coke's Minute Maid orange juice too. In fact, my horse will take drugs in his Coke, so any drug company can sponsor our series and say that "horses love" their products.

We can have murders (of humans) at horse shows, in barns, and on trails, to cover all the disciplines, and lots of investigation by cute cops (I know an NYPD mountie who can work that angle and ride to the crime scenes as well) and vets and farriers and lots of crazy horse people as suspects.

The way threads go on and on on this BB, we'll never run out of ideas for shows.