follow or move on from trainer

[trainerlessalter]

Hello all, long time listener first time caller.


I have had my trainer since last winter, it has been lovely and I feel I have made tons of progress having them come to my barn and teach me and several other people as well as coach us at shows and clinics. I've moved up a couple lessons and started to win.

My horse came up lame about a month ago, I called and cancelled a lesson a week in advance gave the horse the week off. Took a lesson the next week. Then had to cancel two lessons in a row when my horse was lame again. Cancelled both lessons a week in advance and gave trainer an update on horse. I had a vet out and got the horse fixed up a week before a big show. Called trainer left message about vet report and said I was riding and would take a lesson that week, didn't hear from trainer. Finally day before lesson my trainer texts me and says that because my horse was lame he had to make money by filling in my day/time slot with other lessons but I could come to another barn they taught at. Told them my horse was sound, asked for any other days/times. Was told that it was a no go and they made more money staying closer to home and again had to seek business elsehwere because my horse was lame.

Told them I would take coaching at the show but they never found me and I shipped in before them so I got someone else to coach me. They did speak to several barnmates and seemed friendly.

The problem is they don't teach on my days off and I don't own a trailer. I can get there once or twice a month I think if I fanaggle things around. Do I go for it since the instruction is good? What about the way it happened? Am I making a big deal over nothing? I understand that they were coming out of their way but I don't like the way it happened so maybe that is me overreacting?

[Beau Cheval]

Sounds like you have a reason to get out. That is sketchy and unprofessional. If there is someone else with comparable training to be found, find them.

[indygirl2560]

I agree. It sounds like you gave as much notice as you could to the trainer about canceling lessons. And though the trainer does still need to make money, he/she should have at least contacted you before the show.

[Ltc4h]

I find it very hard to believe that they have a waiting list for everyday of the week.
Sounds like they are trying to "help" you not want to ride there anymore, for whatever reason.That takes them off the hook, as it was your decision to leave.
I would look else where, at least know you know a training method that works for you.

[Wizard of Oz's]

I would say go with another trainer if there are other good ones in your area.

[barney22]

If they are that good and the best to be found than by all means try to work with them as often as possible! Maybe if you can get more students for them and pay a travel fee they will come

[TalkIsCheap]

Don't dwell on it. You can't commit to a heavy training schedule that they prefer, logistics are not in your favor, lameness issues throw a wrench into it and many trainers just aren't all that organized.

It's the nature of the business.

[BridalBridle]

Find another barn. You are the paying customer and the trainer is a service vendor. Your service vendor is not providing the service you need. I don't care if they are not good at scheduling ....in this market the trainers are bending over backwards to make it work for their people. Take advantage of the customer market.

[HealingHeart]

No one should be ALLOWED to make you feel quity for doing the right thing for you and your horse. They are creating doubt in your choices. It is the 1st sign of controlling and it will only open doors for more ....

You will make the right decision and which ever it is, just maintain control your own control for the well being of you & your horse. Blessings

[mrsbradbury]

They are "politely" telling you to find someone else. This is a business, but I never say to my client's that I need to make the money, I'll just teach another day if I have enough interest to warrant it.

I also have a couple of customers that I go to that are out of my way. Sometimes we get off schedule, lameness, illness, whatever. But... at some point we always get on track, and I would never ever talk to them about "filling slots". "staying closer to home", etc.

[RumoursFollow]

I used to travel some, but as my business has grown at my home base, I have pretty much stopped. I understand where your trainer is coming from in that it can be a challenge to drive to teach one lesson. Some people are more willing than others. If you arent comfortable with it or cant get to them, find someone else to come to you. I'm pretty sure they'd understand, and if they dont, well, the heck with them anyway. ;)

[TSWJB]

My thoughts are if a trainer really wants to keep you as a customer they would keep you as a customer. If your horse went lame you cannot ride and take lessons. So an interested trainer would tell other customers that you can take a lesson during this time for a couple weeks but we will reschedule you for a different time in the future. All the trainers that I have had had schedules and if your horse was lame, you were sick or your horse lost a shoe, you missed the lesson and someone else might try to fill in while you were not there.
If it were a longer period of time, you did lose your lesson slot. And you would be the one trying to find a new time. I can understand for long periods where the trainer cannot keep your slot open.
Since you do not have a trailer and its not convenient to you , I would just find a new trainer. The trainer you have may be good, but they are not committed to you so why have a commitment to them, since it really doesn’t work for you. I used to be soo attached to my trainers, but have learned that they will just move onto another customer, so why worry about it.
I left my last trainer because he was not committed to helping me find a horse. He was committed to finding other people horses, but for me, it was a halfhearted effort. This showed me the amount of interest this trainer had in me. Halfhearted interest. And while I really liked the barn and loved his lessons, I needed someone with a bit more commitment to my needs. My old trainer said that the door was always open and I could always go back if I wanted to because I left before I got annoyed and let things go downhill. I now have a trainer that suits my needs much better. That is what I would be out looking for.

[findeight]

Just on the surface here...you may not like it but trainer may have a valid point because he is running a business and he has to seek the best opportunities to make money because that is what a business does, makes money.

Now, make no mistake, he did not handle that show well. He should have simply said he was not able to accept you as a client instead of leaving you hanging. Just not returning messages is not notification he will not be working with you. That kind of sucked. I probably would bag him on that one and find somebody else.

But, otherwise, he did offer you alternative lesson opportunities. It is not his fault if your days off don't match the lessons available and you cannot trailer. He is also under no obligation to continue teaching if that location is costing him money rather then turning at least a modest profit.

One other thing that sometimes happens with visiting or free lance trainers-they get uninvited to continue by the BO, BM or property owner or their insurance will not cover. And, no, nobody is going to share that with you most of the time-there could be other reasons he no longer wants to come to your location.

I thought when I read the OP you were looking to change barns because an in house trainer was leaving. You might want to change that title to reflect the fact your need a free lance trainer. Or think about another boarding barn if you have trouble getting a free lancer to teach where you are now.

[Ozone]

IMO for your trainer time is money. You are inconsistant with your training with this trainer at no fault by you but by your horses lameness. I could see where trainer *needs* to move on and fill your spot. Yes, trainer should have been up front in way of the show but for both parties involved it is probably better that you move on.

[Coreene]

They're just not that into you.

[bornfreenowexpensive]

You are making a big deal over nothing. A training business does grow and change. Their business is developing and it is better for them to stay closer and not travel as far. When your horse went lame...they were able to fill your spot with clients that worked better for them. They probably liked you well enough that they were not going to cancel on you before...but eventually, I bet as their business grew, they would have told you they no longer could travel. You can not expect a trainer to hold a lesson spot open.....they need to eat too. Most trainers that I know don't even have regular spots...you call and fit in when you can and when it works for them.


Most top trainers do NOT travel to your barn...you come to them. That is the business model that works best and is most efficient for trainers to make a living. As a trainer's business grows...it WILL grow in this direction. If you like this person's instruction...then you make it work for them...if not then you move on. You can even ask them for suggestions if they know of anyone in the area who they think might work well with you.

This isn't personal....it is business. Keep it friendly and don't burn any bridges.

[TBMaggie]

Is it just you that got this 'cold shoulder??' Or is this trainer now not coming out to your barn to teach others? Or, am I not understanding?

[lkurski1025]

Your trainer has moved on and made the choice to not include you. Finding another trainer is always uncomfortable at first. Find someone who suits your needs and your horses needs. Trainers are always looking for new clients.

[poltroon]

Just to clarify: the trainer still travels to your barn, but his dance card is full with other riders who took your spot when your horse was lame. (Or did he stop coming because he could not fill a full day at your barn?)

The show is annoying; you'll have to judge for yourself how to regard that. As for the training, perhaps someone else will drop out and you'll get your slot back. Over the long term, the relationship may get better as he sees that you're serious and will stick with it.

When you're cobbling together training like this, it's always going to be a bit more difficult. You're not going to get the same responsiveness as when you're training with someone at their place. You will just have to judge for your individual situation whether this is your best training option or if you have others that are comparable.

[findeight]

The problem is they don't teach on my days off and I don't own a trailer. I can get there once or twice a month I think if I fanaggle things around. Do I go for it since the instruction is good? What about the way it happened? Am I making a big deal over nothing? I understand that they were coming out of their way but I don't like the way it happened so maybe that is me overreacting?

Ummm...seems to me, based on this, he is no longer coming to OPs barn for anybody and wants them to come to him. Which is normal once a trainer builds sufficient clientele. Very difficult, if not impossible, to make a full time living out of free lancing which is why you find part timers with "real" jobs and those just starting out filling that need in most cases.

On rereading this...OP took sporadic lessons then missed a bunch of them...called the week before the show and wanted a basically last minute lesson. Ummmmm...most trainers would have said you were not ready after missing so much time and they can't bring you back up in a single lesson right before the show. YOU are their reputation any time anybody sees you ride, they cannot afford not to make you the best they can and no way you would have been in this situation.

Or he was already booked up getting people ready for that show who were up to date and ready to compete and had no more coaching slots.

He should have told you that. Either way. But he didn't...don't take it personally. He was careless, rude actually, but you are overreacting a little given the situation.

[Jsalem]

I agree with some of the responses here. You will likely find plenty of free-lance instructors out there. But the top trainers really don't have the time to be doing a lot of that. It sounds like the trainer carved out a slot for you, but when it wasn't a consistent deal, trainer had to move on.

If you want top instruction, esp from a trainer that has an active showing schedule, you're going to have to work around their schedule. Shipping to the trainer's facility is usually best. Buy a trailer (or share with a friend) or else keep looking.

[trainerlessalter]

The trainer was coming to my barn to teach 4 people. Three were consistent and we took lessons every week since March rain or shine. We paid show fees, stabled with them, and paid for pro rides. They did not come for less then 3 so when my horse was lame for 3 weeks they didn't come at all. All three of us were going to the show and were fine missing a few lessons because we thought my horse would be ready for a lesson the week or two before the show. That was when I got the message the day before a lesson. He still travels to at least one other barn in the area, this is the one he wants us to haul to. My barn has a dressage trainer but there is zero conflict and my barn takes free lance instructors with no extra fees.

I understand my trainer probably makes more money staying at home (or in this case not home but just not to me) and honestly I'd be fine if that was it. My concern is that they said my horse was lame and that is why they can't travel anymore. So if I ended up hauling into their barn I would be concerned about my horse being lame, the weather being icy, or not being able to pay for hauling consistently and being dropped before a show again.

I can find another person to travel to me so I wondered if it was worth hauling into my trainer for clinic type lessons or if I should just drop them based on the behavior.

[bornfreenowexpensive]

I can find another person to travel to me so I wondered if it was worth hauling into my trainer for clinic type lessons or if I should just drop them based on the behavior.


Do you get a lot out of their lessons? If so...take the lessons. Miscommunications can happen. If I don't hear from my trainer....I call again. Sometimes they didn't get the first message. This isn't a marriage. Just don't make it a drama. It sounds like he thinks that there isn't enough consistent business at your barn to make it worth his time but is perfectly happy to continue teaching you at the other farm. If that doesn't work for you (for any of the reasons that you stated about trailering etc)...then you move on.