Euth tomorrow..grateful for today..Updated post #49

[Altitude Rider]

It's time to let Ready go. We have done all we can for his ringbone and he continues to be lame even on the good days he is not sound. He looks fantastic but is in daily pain and nothing has helped to relieve that.

Today I rode him for the first time since late January and he let me know how much he hurt but he understood I needed to be on his back one more time. He proudly carried me out to our back pasture with my leased TB calling to him, unsure why I was on him...Playboy had never seen me on Ready's back so he came over to join us. Ready squealed & struck out at Playboy telling him NO, this is MY time with my mommy. Playboy tried to follow and Ready kicked out, telling him again, I MEAN IT, it's just me & her right now so he left us alone.

On a free rein, Ready took me to the exact area where he will be buried under 3 oak trees. He then went over to "his" oak (one for each horse that will end up back there) and stayed there for almost 10 minutes, touching the tree, looking at me and looking at his buddies grazing while I sobbed on his back and hugged him with all my might. It was an incredible experience as his eye softened and I told him he would be free of his pain. I didn't stay on his back long, I just needed a little time. I then bathed him and gave him a million treats while he licked me all over.

Planning a horses death like this has been overwhelming and surreal. Time has stopped, I don't know where I am or what I'm doing half the time. I go from numb to sobbing to guilty to relief to grief to joy in the support that surrounds me and continues to grow. Accepting that it is his time to cross, making the calls and now the countdown of hours.

It's been hard to wait since scheduling with the vet but I am so thankful for every extra hour, minute & day that I got with him and am grateful for the nearly three short years that he has been in my life...even with all the struggles he has had physically.

I pray his passing is quiet and peaceful. I will say my good-bye and then turn him over to my brave friends and supportive vet, I just can't be there to hold his head, I am saving that for when it's time for Cody, my boy of 17 years.

I am beyond grateful for another COTH'er who helped me get to this point with one of the most kind and understanding emails I have ever received. Sometimes you feel like the only one who has ever had to do this.

Please be thinking of us tomorrow morning at 9. God bless this amazing animals.

[JstMyLuck3]

What a beautiful post... he is so unbelievably lucky to have someone who loves and has cared for him so much. You are doing the right thing.

[sunico]

Somewhere in time's own space
there must be some sweet pastured place
where creeks sing on and tall trees grow
Some paradise where horses go,
for by the love that guides my pen,
I know great horses live again.
-Stanley Harrison

To do the right thing, when it is the very hardest thing to do, is the mark of a truly good person. All the same, my heart is breaking for you.

Godspeed, Ready.

[stryder]

You are a truly courageous and loving owner. Bless you for doing right by your beloved partner.

[Quinn]

My heart goes out to you. There is nothing more painful for me than making the decision. Equally, there is nothing more peaceful and giving for them than the final act of kindness. Bless you for putting his needs before your wishes. I'll keep you close in my thoughts.

http://community.webshots.com/user/ballyduff

[magnolia73]

Yeah, I think their final act of kindness to us is when they tell us loud and clear that they know it is time and thank us for the memories. It's then you know that they have a soul and can feel and return love.

[Zu Zu]

God Bless You and your "READY" . Thoughts and prayers for you two. Will be thinking of you and "Ready" tomorrow.

[TrueColours]

Its so wonderful that you had that special time together with him today. Those are the memories you will go forward with once he has passed over the Bridge ...

{{{HUGS}}}

You know you are doing the very best thing for him ...

Godspeed to Ready ...

[Reds-n-Greys]

What an amazingly generous thing you are doing. .... (Gosh, it's hard to type while sobbing.) ..... Never doubt that you are doing the right thing. Bless You

Godspeed Ready...:cry:

[pj]

May Ready go gently and peacefully and may you feel peace.

[TrotTrotPumpkn]

Glad to be alone at work today so I don't have to explain why I'm crying...

Bless you for being a responsible owner. You tried everything you could and now are granting him peace from pain. I'll be thinking about you when I go pat noses tonight.

[MunchkinsMom]

I am deeply touched by your heartfelt post, and with tears in my eyes, I will be thinking of you and Ready tomorrow.

All of my horses will get an extra long hug tonight, to thank them for the years of pleasure they have given me.

[Altitude Rider]

Thank you all.

He's already had a couple of visitors today and more on the way...he is very loved. I just can't believe I'm going to feed his last dinner and stopping the supplements a couple of nights ago was just odd.

yes, everyone please give your animals and loved ones that extra hug.

Thanks again for the kind words and understanding...even though it's right sometimes it just feels so wrong.

[Puddin Pie]

I was in your shoes 3 weeks ago. I am so happy for you that you did get that one last ride. I was unable to do that. Know that you are doing the best thing and that it is so much better to be planned then to have an emergency situation. I will be thinking about you. Barichello will be there waiting for him, also free of pain, to show him around. Make sure you have lots of his favorite treats on hand for tomorrow. Big big hugs.

[mkevent]

That was such a beautiful post-thank you for sharing and reminding us to appreciate what we sometimes take for granted.

Godspeed, Ready.

(((((((HUGS))))))) to you. You are doing the right thing. Our thoughts will be with you.

[cloudyandcallie]

C
I was so happy when Cody survived his penile cancer and colic and was hoping that Ready's ringbone could be controlled, but with his sensitive stomach, I know the pain meds are making that worse.

Just use lots of ketamine, and give him all the treats he wants between now and tomorrow.

You and appychick are the 2 most responsible horse owners I know, who have kept their disabled horses and loved them even when they are no longer rideable.

Hang in there and hold him so that he won't worry when he gets his ketamine and he'll be sleeping when he is given the euthanol.
And remember the good times with him, and that you did every thing that you could to keep him pain free with his illness.
c

[CB/TB]

Sorry for what you're going through. The wait after that phone call is the worst. Be comforted knowing that the time is right and that you are giving Ready the best gift- a dignified passing. We'll be here for you and with you in spirit tomorrow .

[eventgroupie2]

Please know that I will be there with you in spirit and caring. I can't believe how much alike our stories are.....we too, have a Playboy, but ours is a QH, not a TB. Willie and Cody both suffering from SCC. You've had Ready for almost three years, as we have had Willie. We picked Willie's burial spot this morning, just in case. We, too, have scheduled the details, just in case. I also go from numb, to tears, to acceptance, back to tears and like you, cannot believe all the love and support that we have received during this most dreadful time of any horse owner's life. You know it has to be, but that does not make it any easier. Like you told me-- It. is. so. hard. But, this--it be right. Right for Ready, perhaps right for Willie. We as owners do know when "this- it be right" to do for our beloved companions. God speed, Ready, and much love to your mom for putting an end to your pain. Many hugs from VA.

[Blinkers On]

Dang that was beautiful! And sad.

[Sugarbrook]

My thoughts will be with you and Ready. Its so hard having animals, and I know, I have had a rough year. Truck on and look forward. sandy

[EquineLVR]

We have all been there and all had to make that gut wrenching decision... it is the hardest decision you ever make and its is the price we pay for loving them and having them in our lives

Hugs to you and god speed Ready.

[CapitolDesign]

My thoughts are with you and Ready.

Someone lucky up in heaven is about to get a wonderful horse.

And remember:
"To place your horse's need for you to let him leave his failing body above your need
to keep him with you - that - is the greatest and purest love." -Cynthia Garrett

[ddashaq]

I am so sorry for you. Many, many hugs to you.:no: I am so glad that you had that last ride and that it helps you through this.

Godspeed, Ready.

[Coreene]

The most gracious gift from a true horsewoman. Ready is as blessed to have you as you are to have him, and I join the standing ovation all are giving you for bestowing this kindness. Strength to you now and in the coming days, and best wishes to Ready for a swift, galloping passing.

[BarbB]

That was a beautiful post.

Good journeys, Ready.

:sadsmile:

[jen-s]

What a beautiful post and how incredibly lucky that Ready was that he came into your life. He knows that you love him and he has let you know that he's ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge. What a truly special and touching last ride you had together. I know you'll cherish all the memories forever, but let this one hold a special place in your heart.

Your COTH family will be holding you both in our hearts tomorrow. Godspeed Ready.

[laskiblue]

Green meadows and sunshine to you, Ready. :sadsmile:

[johnnysauntie]

The most gracious gift from a true horsewoman.

Coreene said it really well. Peace to you and godspeed Ready. Will be thinking about you two tomorrow a.m.

[FalseImpression]

What a beautiful, sad and heart felt post. Tears are running down my cheeks. That last ride will be in your memories forever, will probably bring you to tears a few times, but then one day, that memory will bring a smile to your face. Godspeed Ready. You are loved.

I expect one day I will have to make the same decision as you. My mare has ring bone also, but she does not seem to be in pain, only when the weather cools off suddenly.

(((hugs))) to you.

[_downpour_]

Wow, that was sad reading that. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, we recently had to put down an 18yo due to worsening health, and we had to put down one of my first ponies also. Your horse is so lucky he has someone as brave as you to help him make a decision like this. Godspeed, Ready, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Heres a poem that helped me a bit.

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep;
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand;
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years;
What is to come can hold no fears.
You don't want me to suffer so
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
But please stay with me 'til the end
To hold me close and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree,
It was a kindness done for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I'm saved.

Please do not grieve that it was you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

[bf1]

What a lovely poem downpour!

My thoughts are with you both this morning. Most of us have been there - it is the price we pay for loving them. The decision of "when" for me was the most difficult time - then came the relief that comes with doing what is right for them. There is no going backwards in time - we must take each day for what it is, and simply do our best. Time does take the raw edge off our grief.

[ChocoMare]

We hurt with you because we've been there. :cry: So while it's so hard for you, "This it be right" for Ready :sadsmile:

May his crossing be one of peace-his tummy filled with horsie yummies.

[MrWinston]

Having been where you are not very long ago and many times before. Wishing a gentle passing for Ready and for your heart to heal. It's very hard but it's right. You will be in my thoughts this morning.

[Zu Zu]

Thoughts and prayers for you both this morning.

[kookicat]

We're all with you. I'm so sorry.

[Frank B]

Godspeed Ready, and may you find peace in his memories.

DON'T CRY FOR THE HORSES
Unknown Author

Don't cry for the horses that life has set free,
A million white horses forever to be.
Don't cry for the horses, now in God's hand,
As they dance and they prance in a heavenly band.

They were ours as a gift, but never to keep,
As they close their eyes forever to sleep.
Their spirits unbound, on silver wings they fly,
A million white horses against a blue sky.

Look up into Heaven, you'll see them above,
The horses we lost, the horses we loved.
Manes and tails flowing, they gallop through time,
They were never yours, they were never mine.

Don't cry for the horses, they'll be back someday,
When our time is gone, they will show us the way.
Do you hear that soft nicker? Close to your ear?
Don't cry for the horses, Love the ones who are here.

[hitchinmygetalong]

Godspeed, Ready.

And many hugs to you, Altitude. It's going to hurt like hell but underneath all that pain is peace. You are a good, caring, and courageous horseman. God bless.

[Movin Artfully]

Strength and Peace to you.

[jen-s]

Thinking of you both this morning.

[slpeders]

What a lovely memory of your last ride to carry with you. It is clear he is ready and is grateful to you. If, through your pain this morning, you can feel a little tiny bit of peace, know that it's the love of all of us CoTHers that have been where you are, holding you in our hearts at this difficult time.

[LLDM]

Love knows no bounds.

SCFarm

[Tif_Ann]

My thoughts are with you, and I know how hard this is - I faced it this spring with my Rocky. As I read your post, Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life" came on the radio ... which has been Rocky's song since we let him go. When I hear it I hear Rocky saying the words to us:

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

[veebug22]

I sent you another PM. You're in my thoughts today. I really appreciate you listening when I put Serena down last week -- it was so helpful for me to get it all out, so please feel free to PM me. The people on this board are amazing, and we are all here to give you support.

I wish you strength, courage, and peace. This will all get easier.

[monstrpony]

Thinking of you today.

[Equilibrium]

AR,

Stunning beautiful tribute and thanks for sharing a little of Ready with me. My thoughts, prayers, and hugs are with you today.

Terri

[shea'smom]

Just... hugs.
It was lovely that you had yesterday with him.

[Nanerpus]

Thinking of you and hugs

[elsbet]

What a truly beautiful and moving post about your 'Ready'. He was so lucky to have you!!!

Godspeed, Ready!!!!!

[Altitude Rider]

Thank you is not enough for everyone's love and kind thoughts.

The sorrow is enormous, I know it will subside.

Handing him over to my friend and vet was even harder than I imagined...trying to unwrap my arms from around his beautiful neck was so painful but I knew he was comfortable with them taking over. My other friends took me away from the farm for a while so I could regroup.

I brought the other 3 boys in the barn and Playboy was calling for him even as we were saying our good-byes in front of the barn. PB wasn't frantic, just knew something was up. And after all was done my friend turned them out and the 2 oldest (who have known Ready since he first came to me) went back to the spot to visit with him though Playboy didn't go right away. She said Ready was brave and quiet.

He's had at least 10# of carrots and 3# of apples as well as a container of Mrs. Pastures cookies in the last couple of days.

Last night he was in the best mood, so happy to have all the visitors, attention and treats. He was showing off, being goofy, proud & silly for all of us surrounding him. His intuitive massage friend was here and she felt very good about where he was mentally. While he was making me go through all the second guessing and justifying again, we all knew he wanted us to see him at his best for the last time. I stayed out in the paddock until at least one am watching him and the bright stars.

I am so grateful for all the things he taught me about Thoroughbreds and the fragility of horses. Many hard lessons and life changes b/c of my boy Ready but many hours of sheer giddiness.

I think I feel better after typing this. I know the big wave of pain will come and go. I never knew how incredible so many people could be during this process. I am blessed by the words from people I don't even know and those that know me well.

Thank you all. I will answer emails and private messages soon. And I am sorry to all of us who have done this but we are all brave as well as lucky humans to share the love of these creatures.

[cloudyandcallie]

I told Cloudy this morning that you were going to have it done today. He's seen 2 horses die and understands what happens.
You two were lucky to have each other, and Cody is lucky to have you also. Here's hoping Cody will hang in there so you won't have to go thru this again soon.
The longer we have them the harder it is to part.

And Sticks, I keep forgetting about your 3rd horse (besides #4 Playboy) and he's 24 and better stay healthy also.

[eventgroupie2]

More hugs for you tonight from VA

[Huntertwo]

My condolences on this extremely hard and emotional day. I can imagine your grief. As hard as it was, please know you did what was best for Playboy. He is no longer suffering. God Bless...:cry:

[tpup]

I am so very sorry. What a beautiful tribute and gift you have given him. I can't imagine how hard a day this was for you. ((hugs))

[mustangtrailrider]

Many hugs coming to you from SC. This was such a difficult day for you. What a wonderful entry you have made in his behalf. Thank you for sharing your difficulty with others. It will help others heal as well.

(I have had to put three down this past year. It was very difficult, but I knew that they would be better off on the otherside of the rainbow!)

[threehearts]

My heart is aching for you, I had to put my horse down on July 14. After watching both my parents have to suffer with cancer, one parent for 1 1/2 years the other parent 3 weeks, I know I made the right decision for my boy. A friend of mine who communicates with animals, told me that he wanted to go out with class and dignity.
I loaded him up on bute the night before and the morning of so he could walk alittle better. Half way across the ring,he stopped and turned to look at all his girls (3 mares) then walked so classy to his spot. I wish I had my camera for how great he looked. Our lives will never be the same, but a new chapter starts..hang in there,you know you did the right thing....

[scpezold]

AR I am so sorry for your loss. I had to let my 3 yo TB boy go June of last year. We had a day planned but he "told me" early it was time to go. Emotionally it worked out better as I was not expecting that day to be "the day" but I so wanted to spend the extra time with him.
You have so many fond memories and that is what you need to concentrate on. Hang in there and many hugs. Will be praying for you during this difficult time.:cry:

[KrazyTBMare]

Im finding it hard to breathe right now as my throat is swelling, trying to hold back the tears. Your posts are so moving as I can totally feel the love and pain and relief and guilt that you must be feeling. I am so happy for you that you have the support that you do to get you through this hard time. I have not had to cross that bridge yet with my horses but I pray I have 1/2 the strength you do when the time comes.

[Fharoah]

My deepest heartfelt condolences, I am so sad for you, your post is so moving it brings me to tears.

Godspead Ready!

I am so sorry!

[trubandloki]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[arabhorse2]

Altitude, my deepest, most sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved Ready.

He is in fine company at the Bridge while he waits.

I can't imagine having to plan to let one go. With Conny it was a shock, and I had no clue that morning it would be his last day. I don't know how I'd be able to function if I had known it was 'the day' ahead of time.

Godspeed, Ready.

Altitude, many prayers for peace and comfort. We may not be with you in person, but we're there in spirit.

[Watermark Farm]

I am so sorry. Thank you for making the hard decision to end his suffering.

[equineartworks]

I'm so sorry, you loved Ready completely and you gave him the most selfless gift. It was really hard for me to read since I just lost Dumplin' but I am so grateful to know that I am part of a community that understands this profound loss we experience when one of our creatures has to leave us.

(((hugs))) and Godspeed Ready :sadsmile:

[kipster]

Thank you for sharing some of your special times with Ready - they brought tears to my eyes...
I'm so sorry - Godspeed Ready -

[cloudyandcallie]

Bumping this thread up. In 2009 AR lost her horse Ready and wrote a great eulogy.

Now she has lost her horse Sticks. OP has always been so great to all 3 of the boys. She took great care of Ready and Sticks. But it's always hard to lose them even when you've had them for years and they are old.

But Cody is still there! Which is great. Cody who has his on illnesses, is still around. (Cody has his own thread on penile cancer.)