Spinoff about running a farm alone

[PhoenixFarm]

I was visiting with an old friend today, a former pro horseman/trainer, who scaled back in to an ammy with two horses after getting pregnant.

She got an unpleasant "gift" in the form of a surprise divorce from hubby, and her dream farm (15 acres, six stall barn, rings, turnouts, etc.) got sold before the bust for good $$ (full asking price, on the market 5 days).

She bought a lovely home, and has been boarding her two (one a retiree) since then.

She is currently in school full time finishing her PHD and has a three almost four year old son. She got a good settlement in the divorce, but is hardly rolling in dough.

Out of the blue two days ago she got contacted by a realtor who has buyers who want want her current home. They have since faxed an offer to my friend's realtor, and it's an outstanding, legitimate offer. Such an outstanding offer that she could conceivably get herself back in to a small horse (or perhaps not so small) horse property.

Here's where it gets interesting. Her old farm is back on the market as the buyers fell on hard times and have been unable to sell their other house (closed on the farm before their other was sold). It's for sale for less than they paid for it, and for sale at a price that is in reach if the offer on the current house stands up.

Obviously, she has tremendous attachment to her old place, which she built from the ground up, so it's "just right". However, since she's now a single gal with a lot on her plate, and without the $$ to pay for help, she's thinking the smarter choice is to buy something small, say 3-5 acres, for just her two ponies. Something more easily maintainable. Also, her old farm is pretty far off the beaten track, something not an issue when she wasn't going to be working outside the home, but her future will entail her having a regular job, plus her son will start school and have his own things. So there's good logic over something closer in to civilization. She's looking at small places right now, and getting a feel for what's out there. She says she doesn't "need" her old place, but I can tell she can't stop thinking about it.

She hasn't exactly asked for advice, LOL, but it's such an interesting dilema I've been thinking about it all day. If you were in her shoes, oh COTHERs, what would you do.

[GilbertsCreeksideAcres]

I would buy the old place back, go with 15 acres and a nice facility. It would be worth the extra work to me.

[Bluey]

I would get what works for me now and it may very well not be the old place.
Places come and go and you can make anything work, but the old place seems to be more of an albatross hanging from her neck than a small place and a good job without the disadvantages of the old place will be.
That old place, if bought, may tie her up too much as she is starting her professional life.

In some more years, if she wants a larger place, she may be able to buy that same one again, or even a better one, or she may not even be in that area any more.

Overextending can hurt you more than saving, any day, be it money or energy and added worries from always being tight.

[MunchkinsMom]

I would go with a smaller easier to maintain alone type of place.

I will do that when this place gets to be too much for me to handle as I age, downsize to something less to take care of.

I do understand the dilemma, I sold a home 1500 miles away that my DH and I had custom built for us, I thought I would live out my days there, but fate steps in, and instead I am on my dream farm, with my DH renovating the house to make it our own.

[ReSomething]

I'd go with the smaller place. I'd stress too much about making payments (unless they are very low), trying to deal with a little one and a career and a boondock commute, BTDT before and I really like the peace of mind here in my new place. And I had it easy with a very involved DH back then, too.

[SLW]

"her old farm is pretty far off the beaten track" is tougher if you are a single Mom and have to work off the farm. I would advise her to keep it simple- a smaller place with a smidge more central location.

[harveyhorses]

With a young child, her with new career, I would have to say go smaller. He will be in school, have hobbies, friends etc. She will (presumably) have a new job. One of my friends lives 'back of the beyond' and when her 2 were in elementary school drove them to and from each day because if they rode the bus it was an hour and a half ride, each way. It is also nice not to have to scramble each month for $$.

[JanM]

With the more remote property there could be more problems than just work commutes, such as-hay and supply deliveries might be more, getting farm visits could cost more, there could be a more limited pool of vets, farriers, hay, etc suppliers, and getting hired help could be more difficult and with a 15 acre place she'll need help. And the upkeep on a 2-5 acre place compared to a 15 acre place that may have been neglected by the owner is a problem also. Plus the services she'll need for her and her child may be harder to find also-day care, school quality may vary,-daily shopping may be harder because of distance. And I would worry an isolation due to safety issues depending on the exact geographic location. The time factor in a life that is probably quite complicated already would be a deal breaker for me.

[2DogsFarm]

What I do with Major Decisions is make a list - Pros & Cons

Whichever side is longer helps me decide, even though I might ultimately go either way.

As tempting as the old place might be, your friend's changed circumstances - kid, job, etc - might make it difficult to go back.

If she weren't getting the advanced degree and planning on going into the workplace with it, then managing a 6-stall barn shouldn't be a dealbreaker.
Or at least it wouldn't be for me...

[saddleup]

Smaller is often better when you're on your own. And with a young child, and the upcoming sports, lessons, playdates, etc....closer to town will be much easier for her.

[YankeeLawyer]

I may be alone in this opinion but I do not think smaller is necessarily easier at all when it comes to farms. Smaller can mean a lot more labor rotating and maintaining pastures, arranging frequent manure pickup, etc. And the setup is really important - e.g., how well the paddocks are laid out, the barn kitted out, etc. At least with the bigger place she might be able to get a boarder in to help with chores in exchange for board or something (and, in addition, the barn has income potential generally).

[dmalbone]

I say go with the small place. My husband and I sacrificed on location in one aspect, but chose to be close to a town. We live about 5 minutes away from a medium-small rural town, but it has a wal-mart, a couple country supply stores, home depot, a TON of fast food restaurants, movie theatre, smaller boutique type stores, and a bunch of other stuff. When we have kids we will be 1 mile from their elementary and 5 minutes from the high school. We sacrificed because DH drives 45 minutes to work, but it's a nice drive. I, on the other hand, have much more flexibility and knew that having a town so close would offer so many benefits that would make things easier. We can still "run to the store" and not set out for a 1/2 hour or 45 minute drive each way. We've had NUMEROUS late night (1 and 2 am) runs to the 24 hour CVS 5 minutes away. Driving there those nights I always think how horrible it would have been to have to drive so far if we had moved farther into the country!

So... I would definitely get a smaller place close to town. I would love a huge place, but we know realistically it's not going to happen because we really like convenience! Whenever we move later in life (just moved here 6 months ago so it will be MUUUUCH later) we know it will be closer to a bigger town. I just really don't think I would ever be happy again being so far from everything. I lived that way for 7 years. You adapt, but I just don't want to! I'll take my 4 1/2 poorly laid out acres any day!

[dkcbr]

Yet another vote for smaller place, not off beaten track.

Plus I wonder if the memories of the old place would ruin the experience of getting it back.

[Bluey]

Yet another vote for smaller place, not off beaten track.

Plus I wonder if the memories of the old place would ruin the experience of getting it back.

Exactly, that about the memories would have bothered me.
Let water go under the bridge, new is new and the best place is where we make it a home, not an old idea we hang onto.

That doesn't mean that old place may not just end up being ideal for her family now, just that I would not bet it all on an old idea of what at one time was comfortable, in another life.

I think that, really, it looks like she is going to have a few years of a very busy life other than farm life and adding a larger acreage to care for is something she has to weigh carefully to all that she may have on her plate for the next few years.

Then, she may be super woman after all.:)