Horses and kids how do you make it work?

[hellerkm]

I just posted on another thread and my post included info on how to feed your baby while you are teaching or working around the barn. I was told this was "gross". I was surprised! BUT I do realize that many horsey people choose not have kids.
I do both, and honestly I do both pretty well! I use very easy baby carriers when my kids are young, I tie them to me and off we go! I don't miss a beat , or a show or a feeding( kid or horse). I love my kids and I have a huge passion for horses I think we balance it all pretty well.
So what do you do to make it all go around? does it work or do you struggle?
I do admit that I have renectly started sending my 2 yr old to the sitter in the morning while my 5 and 12yr old ride. My little one hated standing in the ring in the heat so we found a solution. she still comes with early to help feed and start the day , then she goes to the sitter while we ride and comes back later to help bath and clean up. Its working out much better.
At shows DH is in charge of the smaller ones and I deal with the kids who are riding. It works out fine and we all enjoy going.

[dressagedevon]

I was just going to post something similar so I will add to here and hope to get some help. How do you ride with a little one? What do you do with them, have them in the stroller by the ring? I have a 21 month old and am trying to figure out how to get more rides in. Right now I either have to wait till my husband is home and can stay with her, or when my parents come out for the weekend. That is leaving me with only being able to ride MAYBE twice a week, and that isn't working for the three horses I have to ride. HELP! Thanks

[TankMonte]

I can't tell you how many times I've nursed a baby at the barn, at a show, standing in the middle of the ring...It just works. (Thank goodness for carriers!) I've never had the gall to ride while wearing a little one, but I know a few people that have. I just can't imagine that it would be safe.

dressagedevon, have you thought about hiring a Mother's Helper for a few hours? I have a friend that pops over a few times a week to help me with whatever I need to do, whether it's fold laundry or give the dogs a bath. I'm also six months pregnant with an almost two year old, so adult company is always welcome. (I do compensate Friend for her time.)

My husband's really wonderful about giving me free time in the evenings to go and do whatever. I can't wait til the kids are able to actually help at the barn.

[tpup]

When nursing is not an issue, get a babysitter. I have two children ages 7 and 4. I am blessed to be able to ride when they are in school as I only work part time, and in summer, I use sitters or trade playdates with other Moms. Riding time is "me" time and makes me a better, more relaxed Mom. Do NOT feel guilty!

During the school year, I absolutely will get a sitter to cover late afternoon until Hubby gets home if I have a lesson.

I don't know if I could truly relax with a 21 month old by the ring ;) I can't even with my 4 year old - my kids don't ride. My 7 year old will sit quietly and can read a book or watch a lesson, but that's as far as I go. Sitters!! :)

[Noctis]

Big playpen! Local homeschooled kids who have their red cross babysitting certs are GREAT! I have two who I trade rides for sitting, and they're right there with me, so I can keep a supervisory eye on them some too. I have a 21mo old as well, AND a 14wk old, and haven't missed a beat. Haven't shown yet but thats mainly because my filly isn't ready yet!

[Mamy]

I have 5 homeschooled kids.. 10, 7, 5 1/2, almost 3 and 8 months. They almost always come to the barn with me. I am lucky to ride at a VERY kid friendly barn. My 10 year old keeps the little 2 for me right by the ring(there is a deck off the barn by the ring) so I can supervise them, see them and get off and help if needed. I am also lucky that there are teenagers at the barn that love babies and kids and they help supervise also. They won't take money for that ,so I just pass their names around to friends looking for sitters.
If I am grooming or teaching my kids, my 2 year old is next to me(if not riding) and the baby is tied to me. I make it work, because I love to be at the barn. But I much prefer to go when DH is home and will watch all the kids so I can go all by myself,lol!!!

[JLMet]

When my daughter was a baby and I was still boarding. If I wanted to ride I would pay the older kids in the barn to keep an eye on her. They were always more than willing since she was an easy baby to begin with but it also gave them an extra few bucks to spend on their horse. If the kid didn't have a horse of their own I would give them permission for a ride on mine for little while. Worked out well and never failed. I couldn't ride a lot though from other issues but they were always willing to keep an eye on Samantha (daughter) if I wanted to bathe my boy or lunge him.

[matryoshka]

I used a sling, and people never even knew we were nursing. It became embarrassing when somebody would approach and want to stroke the baby's head while they were latched on!

Alas, I wasn't able to do much with horses when my kids were young. My first child was a screamer, wouldn't tolerate the stroller, and I pretty much had to "wear" her in the sling all day if I wanted to be able to think straight. When she was old enough to go into a back pack I was able to train my young horses in the round pen.

It would have been okay with my younger child, but the older child was still very demanding when I had my second. So anything horse related meant I had to have my husband watch both kids. And at home while I was outside I could still hear the screaming. Not good when trying to work with young horses. Still, I managed to get two horses broke to ride while my kids were babies.

I've seen other moms who have horses do much better than I did. Their kids are comparatively peaceful and go with the flow. I used to feel jealous, but now I'm just happy for the mother that she can continue with horses and a baby.

[hellerkm]

I agree with the mothers helper idea, I did this earlier this summer and it was great! until she decided her boyfriend was more important than a job:eek:~! now I send LuLu to the sitter for just a few hours, its safer and she is happier playing in someones house than she is standing in the hot outdoor ring baking in the sun! I do have a bit of guilt but when I pick her up she is smiling and happy ( although ready to return to the barn) so to me her safety and happiness are what really matters. Plus she is getting some outside socialization which is always good.
can I tell you how glad I am that I am NOT the only one who ran around nursing their baby while dealing with horses? carriers make it so much easier and I love getting two things done at once! with 8 kids multi tasking is huge!

[Weighaton]

I second the playpen idea. A stroller just isn't going to work. Of course even better would be to buy two of the super play yards from Walmart and make a much larger play area with a mat underneath. I did this for awhile and then we built a large playground right behind the round pen in the shade. The kids love it.

[dressagedevon]

Thanks everyone for the ideas, I have thought about a sitter but we live in the middle of no where (It's a 30 minute drive to the grocery store!!), so I don't have anyone directly around that would work, I like the playpen idea, she will tolerate a stroller but by the time I am done cleaning the barn and other chores plus bringing in and feeding, she's done with that, even if Shrek is playing on the dvd player in the barn :lol:. I will look onto the pen idea. Oh and I too nursed when ever she was hungry where ever I was, personally I think it was nice being able to sit in a chair in the barn and talk with my horses while she nursed.

[hellerkm]

Thanks everyone for the ideas, I have thought about a sitter but we live in the middle of no where (It's a 30 minute drive to the grocery store!!), so I don't have anyone directly around that would work, I like the playpen idea, she will tolerate a stroller but by the time I am done cleaning the barn and other chores plus bringing in and feeding, she's done with that, even if Shrek is playing on the dvd player in the barn :lol:. I will look onto the pen idea. Oh and I too nursed when ever she was hungry where ever I was, personally I think it was nice being able to sit in a chair in the barn and talk with my horses while she nursed.

Post on your local Craigslist you would be surprised at the people who respond, offer the job to a younger tween since they could be at the barn with you it does not have to be someone who is older and can be alone with the baby. There are TONS of tweens who would jump at the chance since they can't get "real" jobs yet.

[Kate66]

I've always worried a little about the stroller next to the arena. My guy is a good boy, but "what if" he spooks at the wrong time and runs into the stroller.

[naters]

Off Topic:

Damn... Why can't the husbands take the kids and give them bottles?

I haven't met a guy yet that I feel would take on at least 50% of child-rearing duties, hence why I am still trying to get my tubes tied.


On Topic:
One mother I know with horses just hired an in-house nanny that comes to her house before she goes to work, and stays until the parents get home from work/barn/etc. Seems to work for them.

[Chaila]

Off Topic:

Damn... Why can't the husbands take the kids and give them bottles?

I haven't met a guy yet that I feel would take on at least 50% of child-rearing duties, hence why I am still trying to get my tubes tied.


On Topic:
One mother I know with horses just hired an in-house nanny that comes to her house before she goes to work, and stays until the parents get home from work/barn/etc. Seems to work for them.

A lot of breast fed babies won't take bottles. Which means you're attached to the baby (or visa versa) for much of the first year. It's only a year, but it is really difficult. A dear friend of mine made it to a girls night yesterday for the first time in nearly a year because her baby would not take a bottle. So even if the dad is willing, the child does not always cooperate!

Full time live in nannies are very expensive. Even an au-pair at 1200/month can only work 50 hours and that won't cover a commute, a ride and an 8 hour work day.

I have a 4 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. Neither of whom are crazy about horses (did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking). My 7 year old will come to the barn if I give him a paid job. So, he'll pick up rocks in the arena or sticks in the paddock and is a very hard worker for the grand sum of $1-$2 American dollars.

My daughter tends to need to be bribed. She'll help me groom and love on the horse. But there must be a small toy procured later. A toy from the dollar store is way cheaper than paying $15/hr for a sitter. But I really, really wish she just wanted to be there.

So, I usually try to go when they're in school. I'm lucky enough to work part time and my husband is awesome about covering for me on the weekends. I don't have to take them with me. I just like hanging out with them and like to bring them sometimes.

[naters]

Meh. They gotta eat sometime. I remember my cousin having that issue... he just got hungry enough and finally used a bottle. Seems to me if you want any kind of life at all just bottle feed from the start, that's what my mother did to my sister. I was 8 so I don't know if it was formula or pumped (and I don't want to know, or have any desire to ask) but I know my mother had a life with both of us kids.

[FlashGordon]

Meh. They gotta eat sometime. I remember my cousin having that issue... he just got hungry enough and finally used a bottle. Seems to me if you want any kind of life at all just bottle feed from the start, that's what my mother did to my sister. I was 8 so I don't know if it was formula or pumped (and I don't want to know, or have any desire to ask) but I know my mother had a life with both of us kids.

If only it were so simple!

[naters]

Ha ha, I know I know. Mom said it was pretty simple for her, but YMMV of course.


Edited to add: She also worked labor & delivery for years, and always suggested to her patients to get baby acclimated to both asap, so mom could have a life.

[FlashGordon]

Ha ha, I know I know. Mom said it was pretty simple for her, but YMMV of course.


Edited to add: She also worked labor & delivery for years, and always suggested to her patients to get baby acclimated to both asap, so mom could have a life.

Your mom is definitely right! I wish I had done that. 11 months in and he's finally on the bottle and it is amazingly freeing to be able to leave for more than few hours at a time! Went to a horse show all day saturday and it was heaven..... :)

[adragonwolf]

My husband is just great! He was always there to change diapers, get up in the middle of the night for bottles and watch the kids while I rode. I usually rode in the evenings after we were both home from work. I was unable to breast feed so that was never an issue(for other people apparently) but I wish I could have. My kids are now teenagers and pretty much look after themselves if I'm out with the horses, but then my horses and barn are right behind my home and my riding instructor happens to be my best friend and has her horses here too! But it at times could be a balancing act, like going to horse trials or clinics for a weekend, my inlaws usually watch my son but my daughter now rides and goes with us. I think I have it pretty good as far as family support goes. Not a good idea however to take TWO giggly teenage girls to a horse show! LOL At least not if you expect to actually concentrate and ride well!

[EqTrainer]

How did I do it?

I had an amazing BO who adored my children and we bartered training for childcare. Then they got older and went to school, phew.

Othertimes when i needed to be away, their father had them. He has always been as involved with them as he could possibly be. I always tell women that if your husband refers to his time with his children as BABYSITTING you have a huge problem... Huge.

[AppendixQHLover]

Half the time when I have seen people attached to the kids I have no idea they are nursing. I am oblivious to it.

For horsey time: Hmm..how old is she again? What about *special* shows that she can only watch at barn/horse time? She can't watch them at home just at riding time?

I would put something on a local bulletin board. You never know if a tween/teen is looking for some type of work. Also if another mom wants some extra $$.

[Chaila]

Meh. They gotta eat sometime. I remember my cousin having that issue... he just got hungry enough and finally used a bottle. Seems to me if you want any kind of life at all just bottle feed from the start, that's what my mother did to my sister. I was 8 so I don't know if it was formula or pumped (and I don't want to know, or have any desire to ask) but I know my mother had a life with both of us kids.

You so don't want to go on a breast vs bottle debate! :lol:

No really, some babies will dehydrate themselves rather than take a bottle. They literally scream the whole time you're gone. It's horrible for all involved.

[AnotherRound]

Horses and kids how do you make it work?

I didn't have to. I sold my kids!:cool:

[EquusMagnificus]

Re. nursing, it's not a chore for every mother. :winkgrin: I cried when mine decided she was done! I'd love to sit outside watching the horses and nursing her. Or enjoying a horse show or inspection with her snuggled in a sling or a baby carrier. :)

I'd never want to share that moment with anyone. ;) It's mine mine MINE! :p

As far as horses are concerned, I did everything on the ground with my daughter in a sling or even better, as she got older, in a backpack carrier (mai-tei if I remember correctly the spelling?). Stalls, feeding... Good times. :yes:

I wouldn't ride while babywearing, I'd be too scared to fall off and land ON her! :eek: I wouldn't load a horse into a trailer either with her strapped on... I don't want to be squished against a wall with my baby on my back or in front of me.

Did I ride? Nope. But I also didn't have anything to ride. If I wanted to do something more difficult, I waited until she slept and carried a baby monitor. :) Worked just fine! I was a single mom then.

Now, I'm pregnant with my second and with a fantastic SO. So he looks after her while I'm out with the horses, or she comes with me and we make it an activity. Prepare their feed... mix the supplements... The joys of spilling it around... ;) She loves to "help". :) If I have anything trickier to do, ie work with the yearling or something, I either lock my daughter out of the ring or ask my SO to stay with her.

I plan to start back riding as soon as possible after giving birth in May and I'll follow the same principles...

[naters]

You so don't want to go on a breast vs bottle debate! :lol:

No really, some babies will dehydrate themselves rather than take a bottle. They literally scream the whole time you're gone. It's horrible for all involved.


I won't be debating anything. She just suggested to new moms to get the baby acclimated to a bottle before you had to separate mom and baby. Makes sense. The kid only knows what you teach it, and separation day isn't really the time to teach a kid anything.

Similar to getting the horse on the trailer, you practice beforehand, not just the day you need to go to a show.

[Catersun]

Off Topic:

Damn... Why can't the husbands take the kids and give them bottles?

I haven't met a guy yet that I feel would take on at least 50% of child-rearing duties, hence why I am still trying to get my tubes tied.


On Topic:
One mother I know with horses just hired an in-house nanny that comes to her house before she goes to work, and stays until the parents get home from work/barn/etc. Seems to work for them.

I have one that does. He manages to keep all three kids 5, 2, and 3months while I'm at work.

[Kate66]

I won't be debating anything. She just suggested to new moms to get the baby acclimated to a bottle before you had to separate mom and baby. Makes sense. The kid only knows what you teach it, and separation day isn't really the time to teach a kid anything.

Similar to getting the horse on the trailer, you practice beforehand, not just the day you need to go to a show.

Giving a bottle is twice as much work because then you have to pump and THEN feed the bottle. Believe me, I did it for 9 months and felt like the bloody dairy cow - no fun at all. If I could have done without the bottle for those 9 months I would have been elated.

Re your comment on spouses. My husband has always been way more competent with our toddler than me. Better at bathing, dressing, feeding and entertaining. You just haven't met the right person.

[Czar]

I have one that does. He manages to keep all three kids 5, 2, and 3months while I'm at work.

Wow...does he have a brother? Oh wait; I'm married :lol: My husband is really quite good but I try not to rely on him a lot mostly b/c by the end of the day; I'm usually too tired to go to the barn. I currently have a 2 yr old & a 1 yr old & am 4 months pregnant so I try to ride during the day before I get too exhausted.

Infants are super easy b/c they sleep but I do recall leaving the barn in tears a few times without having done anything between the 6-12 mth age b/c baby just didn't co-operate. Mine never breastfed just b/c it didn't work out for me - I have to hand it to you moms who do breastfeed & still manage to get anything done :yes: B/c I didn't breastfeed however, I was able to ride a lot more b/c I never had to worry about being there if baby got hungry.

Strollers/playpens only work with some babies - I probably created my monsters ;) but I've never been the type of mother who could just leave them crying so unless they were sleeping; mine didn't do the playpen unless it was for a very short period of time.

Definitely do the barn-tweenie thing - I have a great tween baby-watcher who is homeschooled so I can get her whenever I need her. I prefer this to leaving them with a sitter b/c then I can keep on eye on what's going on.

I did have some success when my son was about 18-19 mths with leaving him in the middle of the sand ring with a few tractors & sand pails. Because I was there during the day; I was usually the only one in the ring so that worked out really well.

I think cold weather climates are harder than warm but then, I've never lived in a warm weather climate :lol: I find that at least in the summer, they can wander around outside near the ring - at least that is what I am hoping for this summer with my 1 & 2 yr old.

[naters]

Giving a bottle is twice as much work because then you have to pump and THEN feed the bottle. Believe me, I did it for 9 months and felt like the bloody dairy cow - no fun at all. If I could have done without the bottle for those 9 months I would have been elated.

Re your comment on spouses. My husband has always been way more competent with our toddler than me. Better at bathing, dressing, feeding and entertaining. You just haven't met the right person.


Bottles don't have to be breast milk.

I have met the right person, and he doesn't want kids either ;)

[Beverley]

Avoiding all debates on the subject;), both of my sons learned early to take what was offered, be it boob or bottle (with formula, even).

When they were small enough, both did well with playpen in a clean stall in the barn, with the ride timed for nap time (and enough folks on hand to help keep an eye out/alert me if nap time was over!

When the younger one was at that stage, older one quite happily brought his Tonka Toys and randomly moved dirt about the barnyard, or played with the barn cats, while I was riding.

They both started riding themselves at age 3, if only for 15-20 minutes at a time before they dismounted, left horse groundtied in arena, and went back to either playing w/cats or moving dirt with Tonka Toys. Stupid horses would stand there all day for them. Do you think they'd do that for ME? Noooooo. Of course not.

When they got to elementary school I would make mad dashes to go foxhunting and get back before the school bus. I made it most of the time. But I also taught at church one day a week, a foxhunting day, and more than once got to bus stop still in hunting clothes, with horse still in trailer, and went off just that way to teach, then we took the horse back to the barn. The kids I was teaching very much enjoyed it.

And I would add that at all stages hubby did His Fair Share. So, it does work out just fine, or did for me.