Those !#~^$%!~ aliens are at it again! [Archive]

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 1, 2009, 04:43 PM

Last week I lost my favorite hoof pick. Green, cushioned handle. No one else has one like that, and in any case, I carry my grooming stuff in an 8 qt bucket with one of those SmartPak bucket covers.

I assumed I left it out somewhere, surprised because I am usually so careful. Could. Not. Find. It. Went through the bucket, item by item, cleaned it out even, no hoofpick.

Check again the next night, no hoofpick.

NO ONE was around when I was grooming, as it was a bezillion degrees with the heat wave.

Assumed I would just have to buy another.

Then, four days later, I found it. In my grooming bucket. Which is not kept at the barn, but carried to and fro in my car. No one else has access. Really.

I assume the alien mothership beamed it up when my back was turned, apparently interested in the whole hoof process. Then beamed it back down when they were done.

Beverley

Jul. 1, 2009, 04:47 PM

Oh. Good. They've moved on from my area then. I had gloves and a water bottle holder magically disappear/reappear. Then there was the bra MIA for several weeks after laundry day. Found in the long sleeved shirt I was putting on one morning while camping recently.

LexInVA

Jul. 1, 2009, 04:49 PM

Maybe they wanted it because for them, it would make the perfect template for a nose picking device? :lol:

HighFlyinBey++

Jul. 1, 2009, 04:50 PM

I'm missing a pony girth but discovered I have TWO cruppers. One I haven't seen since 2006 :eek:

Arizona DQ

Jul. 1, 2009, 04:52 PM

I ripped my earring out of my ear at the barn (it caught on my helmet chin strap) and found my dog chewing on it in my living room 2 days later (barn is not near my house and dog has never been to barn)...:eek: of course by that time I had already bought a new set.....:no:

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 1, 2009, 04:58 PM

Apparently there is a whole fleet of alien motherships...

Lori B

Jul. 1, 2009, 04:58 PM

We can only conclude that they are short on other things to do. That is very odd.

RU2U

Jul. 1, 2009, 05:14 PM

I'm missing clippers. They are in this house somewhere. I set them on my tack bench in my tack room. Poof gone. Fair is at the end of the month. I have got to find them so our Shetland does not look like an alien herself!

Lori T

Jul. 1, 2009, 05:15 PM

Ok, this is embarassing...I take a change of clothes to the barn. With this heat, I am always changing... I keep my clothes in a tote that has eventers embroidered on it. I went to Publix last night, had my Publix reusable green tote bag. The bagger girl (thank God she was a girl) goes..."you want me to keep this in here?" I look over..there are my undies in the bottom...I have NO IDEA how they got there! I think I turned 3 shades of red! I tell her yes, please keep them there. As I am walking out, I hear the check out boy asking her what was in there....I think I gotta shop another Publix for a while!

equineartworks

Jul. 1, 2009, 05:17 PM

BWHAHHAHAAAA!!!!

Can someone please tell the aliens that I want my favorite rubber curry back, and the orange lead rope too please?

Risk-Averse Rider

Jul. 1, 2009, 05:22 PM

Maybe they wanted it because for them, it would make the perfect template for a nose picking device? :lol:
I was thinking more along the lines of an anal probe.

Arizona DQ

Jul. 1, 2009, 05:26 PM

I think I need to replace or clean my computer screen after the last few posts......:lol:

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 1, 2009, 06:24 PM

It is entirely possible that these aliens excrete bodily wastes through their hooves, and thus easy boots and hoof picks could be important implementations for their version of an anal probe?

seeuatx

Jul. 1, 2009, 06:37 PM

Anyone else recalling the episode of South Park with the underwear stealing Gnomes?

Seriously they do that with my work badge all the time. I need my credentials on me all the time at work, so I leave the badge clipped to the inside pocket of my purse as soon as I am out the door. Today (day off, Thank Goodness) I found my creds in the bathroom... a place my purse has never been.

I'm still trying to find my tanning goggles that I had in my desk drawer. I saw them in March, went in April to buy a month tanning package, came home and they were GONE :mad:

HighFlyinBey++

Jul. 1, 2009, 06:37 PM

Of course there's a fleet of alien ships around. It's Independence Day on Saturday!!

Anal probes? I'm having flashbacks :eek: :eek: :eek:

birdsong

Jul. 1, 2009, 06:40 PM

BWHAHHAHAAAA!!!!

Can someone please tell the aliens that I want my favorite rubber curry back, and the orange lead rope too please?

Oh...thats where they came from....found them in my wash bucket the other day. Orange just doesn't go with Tommy's color scheme.

Now if someone finds my small fence charger that has been underfoot for the past 5 years...UNTIL I went to use it last weekend...PM me for my address...sigh.

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 1, 2009, 06:53 PM

Of course there's a fleet of alien ships around. It's Independence Day on Saturday!!

Anal probes? I'm having flashbacks :eek: :eek: :eek:

I spewed all over the keyboard at that one!

Peggy

Jul. 1, 2009, 07:54 PM

There must be a west coast branch as well b/c two of the four shipping wraps are gone from Star's cubby. They are embroidered with my name if they happen to show up someplace else, like Publix or another tackroom. Even Fidel cannot find them so I suspect it is a lost cause.

We did watch a ground squirrel march off with a strap that fell off one of those old plastic Hampa boots. Makes you wonder what sort of bondage routine the squirrel was in to?

dogchushu

Jul. 1, 2009, 08:03 PM

I am convinced that hoof picks yearn to be free of domestic service and plot their escapes. Then they run off to a commune colony somewhere out in the boondocks where they never have to pick crap out of an equine's foot again.

Bluey

Jul. 1, 2009, 08:42 PM

Someone rattled on me:

harveyhorses

Jul. 1, 2009, 08:54 PM

Mane comb, newish, on top of all my other stuff. Inside a tote. gone, poof.
The only other person there could really care less about my new comb. Hope they beam it back soon.
Lori I came really close to doing that!! I changed the bag I had my gym close in, ran it through the wash and took it for my grocery bag. Something made me look in it before I got out of the car. my bra had tangled in the little mesh pocket....
Whew.

ChocoMare

Jul. 2, 2009, 07:24 AM

Ohhhhkay. Glad it's not just me. :winkgrin: :lol:

Hoof Knife (I do my own trimming). Was in grooming tote, outside pocket as it always is. Was there for days. UNTIL I go to trim the Pork Chop. "*^8$*(@* where is that blasted hoof knife!?!?"

Look high low, up down, around through. Nada.

:sigh:

Figured one more day of long toes won't hurt, so put off trimming.

Next evening, open Tack Armoire, gaze upon grooming tote, outside pocket. There it is.

:confused:

-Le Sigh- Coming Penny mare!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sail Away

Jul. 2, 2009, 08:56 AM

Of course there's a fleet of alien ships around. It's Independence Day on Saturday!!

Anal probes? I'm having flashbacks :eek: :eek: :eek:

Don't you know this is the start of the reign of Buttercup Sprinkles???! They are messing with the minds of the owners before their planned attack! Don't you believe for one moment they don't know what those items are for. They have to look their best before they start.

HighFlyinBey++

Jul. 2, 2009, 09:17 AM

Giddyup.

OMG--it's true. The end IS nigh (or is it "the end is neigh"?) I let the horses into the upper pasture today. They're slowly making their way closer and closer to the house. They've got the llama :p (<= llama spitting) I'm doomed :dead:

mrs.smith

Jul. 2, 2009, 09:41 AM

SmartAlex

Jul. 2, 2009, 10:07 AM

My husband always says he is waiting for the Alien Mothership to bring back the "real me" and take the "alien wife" away... anyone seen the "real me"?:D She probably has all your horse stuff.

Vesper Sparrow

Jul. 2, 2009, 10:48 AM

I have seen the enemy aliens and this is what they look like:

http://www.corbyrock.ie/communities/2/004/005/306/422/images/4508916523.jpg

Three mysteriously appeared in our pasture yesterday. All of us geldings felt immediately compelled to go run into the barn and hide in our stalls. You don't know what nasty diseases these alien beings could harbour. Hoofpick and mouth disease is only one possibility.

We then crept back out and watched the humans try to catch, contain and quarantine them.

Deciding to help, P, the bravest among us, herded one into a corner. I acted as scout, keeping a sharp eye out in case one got too close.

When they were safely inside the round pen, I circled round and round them, just in case one decided to escape.

Signed,
Max

HighFlyinBey++

Jul. 2, 2009, 10:53 AM

Max, were they armed??

Vesper Sparrow

Jul. 2, 2009, 10:58 AM

Yes, they had these frightening little horny things growing out of their heads. I think it is some retractable weapon that shoots a spray to render you momentarily helpless. They then tie you up and put their anal, aural and piedal probes into you... The probes emanate from the end opposite to the head, a long, white snaky thing. Once it is connected to you, all the data goes back into the alien computer.

We were shaking like aspen leaves, let me tell you.

Max

Susan P

Jul. 2, 2009, 11:04 AM

SpecialEffects

Jul. 2, 2009, 11:11 AM

Well I'm the one responsible for their excellent communication abilities. I'm on my third Bluetooth earpiece in less than a year. I had NO idea that I kept buying the ones with feet. :rolleyes:

Ok, this is embarassing...I take a change of clothes to the barn. With this heat, I am always changing... I keep my clothes in a tote that has eventers embroidered on it. I went to Publix last night, had my Publix reusable green tote bag. The bagger girl (thank God she was a girl) goes..."you want me to keep this in here?" I look over..there are my undies in the bottom...I have NO IDEA how they got there! I think I turned 3 shades of red! I tell her yes, please keep them there. As I am walking out, I hear the check out boy asking her what was in there....I think I gotta shop another Publix for a while!

That is one of the funniest things I've read in a while! :D

Singer

Jul. 2, 2009, 11:22 AM

I have had a leather lead with a name plate disappear and reappear numerous times over the last 10 years, yes, 10 years. The latest was when it disappeared at a boarding barn after a show, I figured it got left in the trailer but I was never able to find it, oh well. Then, 4 years later I am at a different barn and it shows up in the aisle hanging on a stall, name plate and all.

It is a little beat up now so I have taken it home and I'm thinking I should clean it up and start using it again to see where it winds up next.

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 2, 2009, 11:30 AM

Put a tracking device on that halter and see what planets and galaxies it takes you to...of course, could take a while for the signal to get to you...

Max - those aliens look nasty. Do they glow in the dark? Hard to tell from your picture.

eclipse

Jul. 2, 2009, 11:44 AM

What do you suppose an alien equine looks like? :p

You realize that the Mother ship releases millions of small crafts all around the world stealing miscellaneous barn supplies. This is their mission. :eek:

I'm assuming they only have one leg, as one of my wraps has disappeared, along with the quilt........sigh! Alien horse, pleeeease return ASAP as I can't afford to go and buy another set!

luvmytbs

Jul. 3, 2009, 08:18 AM

If anyone finds a white CANTER T-Shirt size medium, please let me know. It disappeared two years ago and I am certain I didn't take it off somewhere and return home in just a bra.

You guys are so lucky that your aliens are only after the horsey stuff. Mine are taking items from the kitchen, the office and of course the laundry room, where they seem to perfer socks. :(

MikeP

Jul. 3, 2009, 08:32 AM

All my life I've been told that the reason for my failings is that "men can't find anything". Now I learn that this has started happening to women as well, and aliens are at fault.

Wonders never cease!

horse-loverz

Jul. 3, 2009, 09:12 AM

______._____
_____)__(__)
____<=======>

___________________._____
______________________(__)
__________________<========>
______________________;;;;;
______________________;;;;;
______________________;;;;;
_____________________________
____________________/________\
____________________|________|
____________________|________|

_________________._______
______________________(__)
__________________<========>
______________________&;;;;
______________________;|*;~
______________________;;;l,;
_____________________________
____________________/________\
____________________|________|
____________________|________|

________________________________Now to put the Parelli name on
_______________________________them and quadruple the price!!
_____
__________________________._________.____\:cool:
_____________________________________)__(__)
____________________________________<=======>

_____*has anyone seen my brushes or my leadrope??"
_____________________________
____________________/________\
____________________|________|:confused:>
____________________|________|/
____________________|________|

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 3, 2009, 11:21 AM

THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!!!

Risk-Averse Rider

Jul. 3, 2009, 12:12 PM

Just awesome - and clearly the correct explanation!

CatOnLap

Jul. 3, 2009, 01:05 PM

ZOMG the alien stick creatures are invading this thread! Run Away!

RedMare01

Jul. 3, 2009, 01:33 PM

I couldn't find the hose nozzle anywhere a couple of weeks ago (it's not like this is easy to misplace, because it's, you know, connected to the hose. Outside.). Found it in the drawer of my end table in the living room. :confused: :confused: :confused: After hubby ordered a new one, of course.

I have a theory, though. I believe my cats are assisting the aliens. Or maybe they secretly are the aliens themselves. Do all of you all with missing stuff have barn cats around ????

Caitlin

HighFlyinBey++

Jul. 3, 2009, 02:20 PM

The place I last remember seeing my original crupper was in Wisconsin. I found it at my second barn in Virginia--and cleaned out the tack room in the trailer several times. There are cats at all barns and I do have LOLcats in my apartment. Maybe they are in cahoots, chezburger fashion?!

lily04

Jul. 3, 2009, 02:49 PM

FOUND
1 broken leather halter w/brass nameplate (Teddy)
1 bell boot
3 misc. brushes
1 sneaker
2 mismatched gloves
1 VCR tape
1 Winter jacket
1 dead squirrell
many more misc. items
If you are missing any of the above I have found them under the pillow in my dog's house. None of these belong to me. He must be helping the aliens.

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 3, 2009, 09:08 PM

The bell boot and halter could be ours, though I could have sworn I would have put "Ted" or "Theodor."

The gloves...are they green pebbly stretchy pull ons? Good hands winter ones with the cuffs? Polartec pebbly palms? Because then they could be ours.

But - have you considered. Is your dog an alien and simply taking on canine form? Maybe they have "pick up" sites where the alien mothership hovers, and then beams everything up.

I still cannot figure how they switched the easy boots on Ted, though. Maybe they just teleported them?

RedMare01

Jul. 3, 2009, 09:44 PM

DG, you're not thinking about the most logical explanation.

Obviously, they removed his hooves, not the boots on his hooves. Then they just put the hooves back on the wrong legs. The boots never needed to be removed at all. Duh.

Caitlin

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 3, 2009, 09:46 PM

omg, you're right! He has those teeny TB hooves, it would be a snap to do - in fact, they probably snap on and off.

I may have to velcro those hooves on real good.

RedMare01

Jul. 3, 2009, 09:51 PM

Maybe you should just number them so that the next time they put them back on correctly. You know, put a number, 1-4, on each of his hooves and then the same number on his pastern above. Then they will know which hoof goes with which leg.

Caitlin

spirithorse22

Jul. 3, 2009, 09:53 PM

I couldn't find the hose nozzle anywhere a couple of weeks ago (it's not like this is easy to misplace, because it's, you know, connected to the hose. Outside.). Found it in the drawer of my end table in the living room. :confused: :confused: :confused: After hubby ordered a new one, of course.

Caitlin

Ok, now that is just weird. :lol:

RE: sock person
I hope you've seen Seinfeld's skit relating to missing socks? "Laundry Day is..." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQbfkKJrmqA

Maya01

Jul. 3, 2009, 10:22 PM

Apparently there is a whole fleet of alien motherships...

Oh dear lord, this can only mean one thing; Area 41 has had a breach in security. We. Are. All. Screwed. :no:

(...I'm assuming I am allowed to say "screwed", if not, I said it twice so I'm in Biggg trouble)

ManyDogs

Jul. 3, 2009, 10:32 PM

Could the aliens please locate the missing fly mask with the ears and long nose? I can't find it. Also, please place it on my mare's head.

One of my favorite Southpark episodes was when the satellite dish kept unfolding out of Cartman's a**.

Beethoven

Jul. 3, 2009, 10:51 PM

I am missing my brand new hairnet. I used it twice and put it back in my helmet with my gloves. Today just gloves and no hairnet in my helmet. :confused:

There are so many things that disappear and then suddenly reappear in a place I swear I looked for it a million times.

Darn aliens are everywhere. Although I do have cats...

Hoof picks do have a mind of their own! Always wondering off and then reappearing.

ManyDogs

Jul. 3, 2009, 11:10 PM

DH's uncle was in charge of the Area 51 stuff when it was stored at an AFB. Is Area 41 the Equine Alien one? :cool: Maybe it is the equine version of the lost luggage (airline) place in Alabama. I'm sure my halters I bought a few months ago are there. How about stick art for Equine Area 41? :D

SpecialEffects

Jul. 3, 2009, 11:45 PM

sdlbredfan

Jul. 4, 2009, 01:12 AM

ROFL, I needed a good laugh, thanks everyone! I am so glad to know the explanation for the week my favorite hoofpick was AWOL, and this gives me hope that my leather lead with genuine brass (not plated) chain may someday reappear!

equineartworks

Jul. 4, 2009, 08:24 AM

I am missing two brushes now :mad:

Lori T

Jul. 4, 2009, 10:24 AM

I am missing two brushes now :mad:

Teddy has them, he will bring them with him when he comes to NY!!

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 4, 2009, 11:25 AM

:mad: The dead squirrel is mine. Give it back please.

To paraphrase Robert Klein, on Jacques Cousteau:

"That squirrel is my squirrel, Monsieur! Ze walrus Otto iz yours!"

RedMare01

Jul. 4, 2009, 12:04 PM

Look on the bright side, DG. He may have had his hooves switched around, but at least they took Lori T's panties off him before they beamed him back down.

Caitlin

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 4, 2009, 12:41 PM

No wonder Ted has been unable to look me in the eye. Those pics of him in Lori T's panties are probably circulating amongst several galaxies by now.

birdsong

Jul. 4, 2009, 12:42 PM

Well, I am here to report that I now have 6...YES, 6 hoofpicks!! Found them all in the feed room....Will provide a complete description later. I only owned 2 last week. :confused:

macmtn

Jul. 4, 2009, 03:51 PM

Well, I am here to report that I now have 6...YES, 6 hoofpicks!! Found them all in the feed room....Will provide a complete description later. I only owned 2 last week. :confused:

they are breeding in the deep dark corners of your tack room...:eek:

kookicat

Jul. 4, 2009, 05:00 PM

Well, I think I'm feeding them.

Popped into the supermarket for some bits after work last night. Came home, took the bags into the kitchen, and no peanut butter. I knew I'd bought some, knew that I'd packed it and had seen it in the truck on the drive home.

Hubby found it this morning, in his car. I have no idea how it got there.

Oh, and aliens? Could you please return my nice brown bridle, hmm? I need it for an event in a few weeks. I know that I brought it home, because I hung it up in the tack room and cleaned it. I've searched high and low for it, and it seems to have vanished.

HighFlyinBey++

Jul. 4, 2009, 05:40 PM

That reminds me. I bought some disinfectant wipes for those coffee spots on my desk at work. They vanished in the 5 minutes it took to drive from the store to the apartment.

Beverley

Jul. 4, 2009, 06:26 PM

Well, I am here to report that I now have 6...YES, 6 hoofpicks!! Found them all in the feed room....Will provide a complete description later. I only owned 2 last week. :confused:

What would we get if we crossed those with the coat hangers in my closer?

Beethoven

Jul. 4, 2009, 06:32 PM

I though of another thing that likes to disappeat and reappear after I have bought a new one. Ultimantly they both disappear then reappear when I am not looking for them. Curry Combs!! :lol: I found a curry comb in my tack trunk that I swear I lost when I was 12. :confused:

Darn aliens...

evenstar

Jul. 4, 2009, 07:53 PM

Wow! Glad I checked in on this thread. Now I know what's happened to my Enell! :eek:

I sure hope they bring it back. I can't possibly attempt sitting trot without it. :no:

Good Old Sledge

Jul. 5, 2009, 06:34 AM

I too have noticed the work of aliens and have decided to employ against them the only force I can imagine to be more powerful, more frustrating and more irresistable than a whole fleet of mother ships - teenagers!
My 15 year old step son has announced that he would like to host his 16th birthday party at the farm and to invite 10 or so of his city friends for a cook out, horsey rides etc. I asked if he thought a scavenger hunt would be a good idea and he thought it would.
I have made, then, a list of things, from saddles, hay hooks and books to trailer hitch balls, fly masks and Irish martingales that the aliens have borrowed and failed to return. With nearly a dozen cake and ice cream fueled adolescents marauding over the farm, we're sure to uncover a few things I haven't seen in years.
I will list anything I don't recognize in case it accidentally got transported from your place to mine.

allpurpose

Jul. 5, 2009, 07:23 AM

Wow! Glad I checked in on this thread. Now I know what's happened to my Enell! :eek:

I sure hope they bring it back. I can't possibly attempt sitting trot without it. :no:

The aliens probably have it still...they took it off Ted, along with Lori T's panties, and left it in a heap on some alien's bathroom floor! :lol::lol:

HighFlyinBey++

Jul. 5, 2009, 09:31 AM

With nearly a dozen cake and ice cream fueled adolescents marauding over the farm, we're sure to uncover a few things I haven't seen in years.
Brilliant!!

kookicat

Jul. 5, 2009, 09:36 AM

What would we get if we crossed those with the coat hangers in my closer?

That would be bad. Very bad. :eek:
:lol:

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Jul. 5, 2009, 10:50 AM

Several times at night I will see strange flashing lights in the sky, and I naively assumed they were planes. Now I know they are the motherships' tracking devices, just waiting until I turn my back. I suspect the horses have piled things in the far recesses of the pastures...they must have some sort of deal worked out.

luvmytbs

Jul. 5, 2009, 12:57 PM

With everyone posting the items they are missing, I have come to the conclusion that these aliens must be of a smaller size.

I hope no-one feeds them. I'd hate for them to become bigger and start taking cars, trucks or even horses. :eek:

RedMare01

Jul. 5, 2009, 02:12 PM

:lol:

Poor Ted. It appears that the aliens mistook him for a girl horsey and posed him in this month's issue of Playhorse Intergalactic clad only in evenstar's Enell and Lori T's panties. I don't think he'll be able to look DG in the eyes for a very long time.

On the other hand, the government should be very proud of COTH. We have single-handedly determined the cause of extraterrestrials visiting Earth.

Caitlin