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JohnDeere
Jun. 24, 2009, 11:12 PM
My father came from a farm in WV. He sent me this recently. I thought you apreicate (sp) it.

Old West Virginia Farmer's Advice:


* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from The mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in..

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
--

*Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

snkstacres
Jun. 24, 2009, 11:18 PM
Now this is some sound advice

strawberry roan
Jun. 25, 2009, 06:21 AM
Good words. My mother has always said something similar to the "drink upstream from the herd".....!! :)

msj
Jun. 25, 2009, 07:58 AM
Good advice for sure. :)

If I can add one more:

"If you can't afford it, don't buy it."

That was something I was taught and it's kept me out of debt (excluding a mortgage) my entire life. :)

ChocoMare
Jun. 25, 2009, 08:07 AM
One more:

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It ain't gonna do you any good and it'll only annoy the pig.

:lol:

Zu Zu
Jun. 25, 2009, 09:26 AM
LOVE IT !!! Thanks for sharing! He is a TREASURE - take good care of your old man.:)

greysandbays
Jun. 25, 2009, 09:54 AM
Here's a few more from various versions of "A Cowboy's Guide To Life" that haven't already been mentioned:

Don't squat with your spurs on.

If you are riding ahead of the herd, take a look back now and then to make sure it is still there.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When throwing your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by someone else.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading, the few who learn by observation, the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

There are two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group - there's less competition there.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

The best way to have a quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the oven to bake at 325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it, and when it's done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but otherwise ignore it.

Guin
Jun. 25, 2009, 11:01 AM
*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

This one is my favorite! :lol::lol:

KnKShowmom
Jun. 25, 2009, 12:04 PM
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Yup, my husband can vouch for that!

pinkdiamondracing
Jun. 25, 2009, 01:40 PM
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading, the few who learn by observation, the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves


OMG!!!!!! LOFF THIS ONE!!!!:lol::lol::lol::lol:

2DogsFarm
Jun. 25, 2009, 04:05 PM
My father came from a farm in WV. He sent me this recently. I thought you apreicate (sp) it.

*Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

Go JD's Dad!

& May I add:

Don't make old ladies mad.
They're already mad about being old so it doesn't take much to set them off

As I approach 60, this is now my mantra :D

Daydream Believer
Jun. 25, 2009, 04:17 PM
Great wisdom!

One of my favorites told to me by an Army Captain who was my commander many years ago.

If you can't hang, don't swing.