Need encouragement

[spots1]

Hi List,

I recently got two horses that are at my house/farmette. The one I had been riding for 3-4 years. He came with a pasture buddy. I was able to ride my horse with no problems the first week, everything was going fine. The pasture buddy had to go back because of an illness/previous injury, so my trainer sent a new horse, a young 4 yr old.

Well, these two are attached at the hip and both freak out when one leaves the barn, and I cannot ride my horse because he is acting so uncharacteristically bonkers. This new horse has only been here three days.

I guess I am feeling overwhelmed (2nd time trying to own horses), and having issues letting horses be horses. The new horse runs around in the field like a lunatic all day, and it stresses me out. I just want quiet calmness. I am not used to young horses, only older laid back ones, but I will say he is very sweet and likes attention. Then my trainer says she would like me to longe and work this younger horse, and I feel obligated to do so.

I guess working 40 hours a week, and feeling stress of new horses, and some days I wonder if I made a wrong choice to have horses again. We have invested all our savings into our barn. My husband doesn't understand why I am so depressed over all this, when I have horses.

Is this normal first time jitters or what? I feel I have lost all my confidence and are a terrible horseman :cry:

[Bluey]

You seem to be overhorsed with that new young one.
No shame in telling your trainer about it, rather than keep trying and maybe getting hurt, or worrying all the time about that horse that evidently is not fitting at your place.

I myself also prefer happy horses out my window, not frantic, fussy ones, so I understand the continuous stress a horse that doesn't fit brings.

No sense in repeating what is not working and expecting different results, so let the young horse go back and tell the trainer that you now know more what you want and see about getting that.

Once you are more experienced in the future, if you want a more challenging horse, why not?

[mkevent]

Totally agree with Bluey. Send the young one back and tell the trainer what you are comfortable handling. We are always working on becoming better horsepeople so don't be depressed about that! It's all a learning curve and sometimes the lesson is what you do and don't want to deal with-and there's nothing wrong with that!!

[spurgirl]

For starters, when I had a trainer, THEY were the ones to longe and work a young horse;), that's their JOB?...I don't how you feel obligated-you didn't say-but I would simply tell the trainer the youngster is too much horse for you, and in the future any companions to the present horse brought onto the property should be the mellow, packer type...A horse who does not need much exercise. I'm not sure by your post, if you are looking for another horse? Or just a companion to the present one? If the former, go see the horse before it is trailered to you, if the latter, same thing! It's a lot easier to "just say no", and not feel obligated, when the horse is not on your property...Good Luck, relax, we have all felt overwhelmed at one point or another!!

[BellaLuna]

Sure sounds to me like it's not the "horses", but "the horse" that has everything unbalanced. I had a youngster once that was so unpredictable that I would start to feel sick when it was time for barn chores. I put up with it for a while until I felt like it was affecting my entire life. This is a hobby for me, not a profession. Against lots of advice like, "but he's just green, if you just... (fill in the blank), you will end up with a nice horse", I sold him. And I am back to enjoying my barn and other 2 horses again. I agree with the advice to send the youngster back. There are plenty of horses out there that would be an asset to your farm. Good luck.

[Trevelyan96]

OP, I feel for your. I have 1 that is very prone to being herd bound, and he's made the new one that way. Having just 2 horses is tough, especially when they're turned out together all day. The only solution is to gradually increase their 'comfort' zone for being separated, and it can seem like a painfully slow process. How long have you had the youngster at your place. What kind of diet is he on? If it makes you nervous to lunge him, then turn the job over to the trainer. But it really is very important to do groundwork with him! If you have a choice about getting another horse, however, then by all means you should do so! Not much sense in keeping one around that you just can't get along with.

The first month with my new guy was very worrisome for me, he seemed miserable, paced the fencline, and I didn't think he'd ever settle in and be happy. He's still a bit nervous, I think he's just a naturally sensitive, high strung horse, but I put him on a low carb feed with rice bran (he needed weight) and it made a HUGE difference. Just something worth trying if you have to keep him, as it sounds like he has a ton of nervous energy. If he doesn't need weight, put him on grass hay only!

[nightsong]

Having TWO horses is often a problem, because of the bonding situation that generally develops. Three is a much safer number.

[imissvixen]

I went through this and am probably getting ready to go through it again. It sucks. Ask your trainer to take the horse back. There are some many deserving older horses our there that need a retirement home and are much easier to take care of and you feel much better about doing it. Everyone else is right. You need to work on getting the horse you ride not to be herd bound. One good thing to know is that if you trailer out or get away from your house and out of earshot the herdbound riding horse should settle. If the other horse hurts itself in my book it's your trainer's problem. Also, I have noticed with mine that he considers me at this point part of the herd -- mostly the low part, but nonetheless still part of the herd. I can ride him away from the other one much easier than the local trainer can.

Don't despair and don't do anything rash. You will figure it out. Be patient.

[imissvixen]

Okay, I just read the last part of your post. I had a friend bring a horse to my place last summer and that horse behaved the exact same way. He destroyed the grass along my fence line. It still hasn't grown back. It just about destroyed our friendship but within about three days I told him to get the horse out. It is nerve wracking. Don't be patient! That horse won't get any better. Get the horse out! Your horse can live alone for a few days while you find another one. Your sanity is more important.

[twofatponies]

If you just need company for your main horse (the one you like), how about getting two ponies, minis or donkeys? You can just let them be pasture ornaments, and if you take your horse out to work, they can keep each other company? Then you can have the pleasure of a horse to work with, and the others are just fairly low-maintenance decoration?

[saddleup]

I agree with twofatponies -- my neighbor did exactly that, got two minis, and now there's peace in the pasture! And serious cuteness, too.

Three is, in my opinion, the magic number when having horses. It just keeps so many things easier when you're not leaving one all by himself. I know there are horses out there that don't care, but I've never had one like that.

[Laurierace]

Herd bound is something you can not work through in my opinion. Once its there it will always be a problem until you break up the herd. I just had to do that with my old guy. He was out with a herd and was getting frantic with his whinnying any time he could see the field he went out it, whether the other horses were out in it or not. I hated to do it because he was so happy out there with his buddies but he was starting to get dangerous. The whinnying went away immediately upon separating him back into his own paddock and he has been fine ever since.

[spots1]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I have told the trainer I do not want to keep her permanately and that I do not wish to work with a young horse. So she'll stay here until I can get another horse. I want another riding horse, as my one is older. I may just get a reliable QH or something for a couple thousand.

I just want to get through this depressed mood:cry:

[SMF11]

Check out the Giveaways section of the forum -- you may not even have to spend a couple thousand!

[equineartworks]

With three (even though Dumplin' is in his own area far away from the others) there is a nice sense of "calm". They all co-exist so nicely :)

[Watermark Farm]

I have been dealing with a herd-bound situation all weekend, horses screaming all night long, and I feel your pain! It's stressing me out, big time. Call your coach and ask her to take the horse back immediately, and find a quieter companion.

I called the owners of two horses here at my place yesterday and gave them notice. Their horses are sweet but tend to get everyone screaming and running. I just can't take it anymore. I felt a huge wave of relief once I decided to take my life back. People don't always realize how it affect you to be relaxing or in bed and be hearing horses screaming and ripping around. We need our quiet, too!

[Kate66]

When my guy is actually in work, he goes in a pasture on his own. He is in one pasture and his pasture buddy is in the next one. It's amazing that just having that fence between them makes him much more sane when I want to ride him.