"My horse is terrified of your spawn, please remove them immediately."

[sublimequine]

Alright, I need help. :lol:

My mare is afraid of children. It's something we've been working on for years, and now she can at least be in the same aisleway with them if they don't move or make any noise whatsoever.. :uhoh: :lol: :lol:

But how do I tell people, who seem to think it's okay to let their offspring come bounding up to my horse (who at this point I'm peeling out of the rafters), that my mare is TERRIFIED of their kids, and please don't let them near her?

You'd think my mare snorting and popping out eyeballs and quivering in her boots would clue these folks in, but the one or two times I have mentioned something, the people look at me like I'm crazy. :mad: (EDIT: I was very nice about it, too, and still got dirty looks.)

I know, it's a bit of an odd fear for a horse. She's got good reason, though. Bad bad bad experiences with littleuns in her past, and it's just something I don't know if she'll EVER get over completely.

Until that day that she decides all humans under the height of 5" are not going to maim her, how can I tell people, "Please back off, your 40 lb kid is scaring my 1200lb horse."? :lol:

I don't wanna offend people, especially when the rare occasion the kid is being good and not actually provoking the mare. But it doesn't matter, even model-children are scary.

[horse-loverz]

I would just politely say that the mare had bad experiences with kids before and for their child's safety they need to give your horse a lot of room. If they have ever been around horses they should understand. I know I would. I always ask the owner before I or any of my little ones pet the horse. I wouldn't find it offensive at all.

I think all horses need their own psychiatrist... every horse has a little something that gets under their skin it seems. :lol:

[sublimequine]

I would just politely say that the mare had bad experiences with kids before and for their child's safety they need to give your horse a lot of room. If they have ever been around horses they should understand. I know I would. I always ask the owner before I or any of my little ones pet the horse. I wouldn't find it offensive at all.

I think all horses need their own psychiatrist... every horse has a little something that gets under their skin it seems. :lol:

Oh my mare doesn't need a psychiatrist...








...she'd need to be institutionalized! :lol::lol::lol:

[Lambie Boat]

I'm afraid full immersion is the only solution for your mare. Invite all the neighbor kids over for a pasture party, give them balloons, set up a bouncey ball house thing, hire a mariachi band, feed the kids a bunch of sugary cake, ice cream and candy. Then a rousing game of pin the tail on that mare in the pasture! Or point to her as a living pinata and give the lunatic spawn each a carrot stick
:cool::D

[sublimequine]

I'm afraid full immersion is the only solution for your mare. Invite all the neighbor kids over for a pasture party, give them balloons, set up a bouncey ball house thing, hire a mariachi band, feed the kids a bunch of sugary cake, ice cream and candy. Then a rousing game of pin the tail on that mare in the pasture! Or point to her as a living pinata and give the lunatic spawn each a carrot stick
:cool::D

Oh goodness... my mare would be put away for the murder of 30 children.. and a mariachi band. :lol::lol::lol:

[vacation1]

When you see a child approach, immediately call over to the parents, urgently, that "She kicks/bites/etc.!" People, particularly children, are so naturally and powerfully drawn to animals that they will tend to continue approaching if you try to talk to them (ie, explain the horse's fear). An explanation doesn't register as urgent; a direct, worried declaration of "She kicks!" will get their attention. You can explain more after they stop.

[sublimequine]

When you see a child approach, immediately call over to the parents, urgently, that "She kicks/bites/etc.!" People, particularly children, are so naturally and powerfully drawn to animals that they will tend to continue approaching if you try to talk to them (ie, explain the horse's fear). An explanation doesn't register as urgent; a direct, worried declaration of "She kicks!" will get their attention. You can explain more after they stop.

That's a good idea. She's a sweet mare, but I'd bet a million dollars she'd double barrel a child running up behind her. :no:

[BlueEyedSorrel]

Well, I have the same bug eyed reaction when I'm forced to be around obnoxious kids:lol: It doesn't seem all that strange to me!

Seriously, I don't know what to tell you about other people's reactions to nice requests, cuz I've had similar experiences.

My old mare loffs children....and foals....and puppies, basically young things of any species. You can practically see her thinking "OMG, it's a baaaaby!" Ordinarily, she welcomes petting from kids and newbie adults. But no one, horse or human, is a saint and we all have our off days. One time we were dealing with a hoof abcess, dr's orders of no turnout because everything was quicksand-like mud, and Missy was a tad cranky. Enter fellow boarder with her two undisciplined kids. I know my mare and I knew she wasn't in the mood. Yep, nicely explaining that my horse has been on stall rest, is not a happy camper and so please don't bother her got me the death stare. Some people just think that the world is supposed to be a free-range playground for their kids:mad:

Edit: I just saw the suggestion of an urgent "she bites/kicks!" There's your solution. Though there are always those Darwin Award candidates that say "oh, she's fine, my daughter gets along great with animals!" about 10 seconds before the kid goes splatto.....
BES

[sublimequine]

Well, I have the same bug eyed reaction when I'm forced to be around obnoxious kids:lol: It doesn't seem all that strange to me!

Seriously, I don't know what to tell you about other people's reactions to nice requests, cuz I've had similar experiences.

My old mare loffs children....and foals....and puppies, basically young things of any species. You can practically see her thinking "OMG, it's a baaaaby!" Ordinarily, she welcomes petting from kids and newbie adults. But no one, horse or human, is a saint and we all have our off days. One time we were dealing with a hoof abcess, dr's orders of no turnout because everything was quicksand-like mud, and Missy was a tad cranky. Enter fellow boarder with her two undisciplined kids. I know my mare and I knew she wasn't in the mood. Yep, nicely explaining that my horse has been on stall rest, is not a happy camper and so please don't bother her got me the death stare. Some people just think that the world is supposed to be a free-range playground for their kids:mad:

BES

Exactly! It doesn't matter how nice you are, if you tell the anklebiters "no" to ANYTHING, the parents act like you just beat the child with a club. :dead:

These are all horse people parents too, that SHOULD KNOW that it's a GIGANTIC safety issue letting their kidlets romp around my mare.

[twofatponies]

This is cracking me up!!!

I do want to know though - do any of you who's horses don't like kids have kids of your own? It would make an interesting situation if you had kids and your horse didn't like them!!

My two horses couldn't be more different. When my 2+ year old nephew came to visit, he wanted to ride the poneez!!! So I managed to make a helmet stay on his head, and looped the reins over my arm and tried to lift him into the saddle. My dear old mare bolted! She hit the end of the reins and was backing up with her eyes rolled back. OMG. So we let him ride the tractor instead.

Now fast forward three years, and I am out hacking with a group and we stop by a friend's house. Her little three year old wants to ride the poneez! All of them! I am thinking uh, oh, this isn't a good idea as my friend strolls over, plops junior on the SAME mare's saddle, and leads her around the yard. No problemo.

ETA: I forgot to add, my OTHER mare, the Amish-trained Morgan, has been nothing but gentle and friendly with kids since day one. The mare in the two stories above is my half-Hanoverian somewhat mareish and opinionated horsey.

I wonder if my technique was at fault in scenario #1??? I found the little guy a real wiggly handful, and maybe my feelings were telegraphed to the horse?

Thus my first question about whether you have kids yourself (you all). I don't, and I'm not much of a kid person.

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

I had to laugh at BES' response!!

I don't have kids. But I can say that Ted is very wary of girls between the ages of 9-13. Not boys, not young children, not older girls. So obviously something happened somewhere along the line. And kids who are nervous, but want to pet, and dart out a hand and then snake it back...he is just not the kind of guy where I can hand a brush to a 10 year old girl and say, "Sure, knock yourself out grooming him!"

Unless it's a 10 year old girl whose mother has deemed the child a spawn of Satan...that would be a different scenario, I guess...

[sublimequine]

This is cracking me up!!!

I do want to know though - do any of you who's horses don't like kids have kids of your own? It would make an interesting situation if you had kids and your horse didn't like them!!

My two horses couldn't be more different. When my 2+ year old nephew came to visit, he wanted to ride the poneez!!! So I managed to make a helmet stay on his head, and looped the reins over my arm and tried to lift him into the saddle. My dear old mare bolted! She hit the end of the reins and was backing up with her eyes rolled back. OMG. So we let him ride the tractor instead.

Now fast forward three years, and I am out hacking with a group and we stop by a friend's house. Her little three year old wants to ride the poneez! All of them! I am thinking uh, oh, this isn't a good idea as my friend strolls over, plops junior on the SAME mare's saddle, and leads her around the yard. No problemo.

ETA: I forgot to add, my OTHER mare, the Amish-trained Morgan, has been nothing but gentle and friendly with kids since day one. The mare in the two stories above is my half-Hanoverian somewhat mareish and opinionated horsey.

I wonder if my technique was at fault in scenario #1??? I found the little guy a real wiggly handful, and maybe my feelings were telegraphed to the horse?

Thus my first question about whether you have kids yourself (you all). I don't, and I'm not much of a kid person.

Don't have any myself, and may never have any. Really not a big fan of the littleuns.

My mare's child-phobia was already present before I bought her, though.

[Ambrey]

You're gonna have to survive the dirty looks. Don't make it about their kids, just say "this horse is not safe around children, please keep them back" and if they don't get it say "if your child comes any closer, one of us is going to get hurt."

No, many parents don't "get" that most horses are nothing like the ones at the pony rides, that unlike dogs, horses aren't required to be safe around kids or go to the pound, or that unlike a dog, an attack by an angry horse is going to require more than a few stitches. Let them glare.

By the way, I have kids.

[sublimequine]

You're gonna have to survive the dirty looks. Don't make it about their kids, just say "this horse is not safe around children, please keep them back" and if they don't get it say "if your child comes any closer, one of us is going to get hurt."

No, many parents don't "get" that most horses are nothing like the ones at the pony rides, that unlike dogs, horses aren't required to be safe around kids or go to the pound, or that unlike a dog, an attack by an angry horse is going to require more than a few stitches. Let them glare.

By the way, I have kids.

I never mention their kids specifically, the few times I've said something I just said something like, "My mare is afraid of little ones, be careful".

[Ambrey]

Maybe mentioning that she's just not safe around kids would help? I don't know, some people seem really oblivious. I had to tell one mom 3 times to not let her toddler stand right next to the rail of the turn-out when my 1400 lb beast was running around like a lunatic.... you'd think THAT would have been obvious!

[Hoofprince in Mud]

Maybe it might behove you to assure your mare and indicate to her bad things will happen if she behaves badly towards small humans. If you can't do this, then pay some trainer to show you how to do this, so your mare learns. It is a public safety issue. Any trainer worth their salt should be able to teach both you and your mare. You to learn how to inform your mare when her behaviour is unappropriate, and your mare to learn to listen to you. It doesn't really matter where you are located in the world, because somewhere, sometime a small person is likely to venture into her range without you being able to issue voice commands to restrain them in her presence.

[sublimequine]

Maybe it might behove you to assure your mare and indicate to her bad things will happen if she behaves badly towards small humans. If you can't do this, then pay some trainer to show you how to do this, so your mare learns. It is a public safety issue. Any trainer worth their salt should be able to teach both you and your mare. You to learn how to inform your mare when her behaviour is unappropriate, and your mare to learn to listen to you. It doesn't really matter where you are located in the world, because somewhere, sometime a small person is likely to venture into her range without you being able to issue voice commands to restrain them in her presence.

I'm not going to correct or discipline a terrified horse.

If some unsupervised child wanders up and scares her, it's the parent's fault for letting the kid run wild, not my mare's.

[twofatponies]

Maybe it might behove you to assure your mare and indicate to her bad things will happen if she behaves badly towards small humans. If you can't do this, then pay some trainer to show you how to do this, so your mare learns. It is a public safety issue. Any trainer worth their salt should be able to teach both you and your mare. You to learn how to inform your mare when her behaviour is unappropriate, and your mare to learn to listen to you. It doesn't really matter where you are located in the world, because somewhere, sometime a small person is likely to venture into her range without you being able to issue voice commands to restrain them in her presence.

I suppose maybe you could deal with it the same as a fear of plastic bags - "sack them out" (I'm imagining waving the baby around the horse, rubbing it all over them...) so they get used to them?? :D Only half-kidding, though. Has anyone "taught" their horse to deal with kids better than they used to?

[Woodland]

What training method are you using? Because what ever it is after all these years it's not working. I would switch to a new plan. Unless you prefer your mare to behave that way :cool:

[Thomas_1]

Have an open day and invite a whole school round and have her in the stable so they can all pet her.

Get them to be as noisy as possible and just have great fun.

You might want to take a plank or two out low down so little heads and hands can peep through too.

I'm not joking, it's what I do!

[springer]

I'm not going to correct or discipline a terrified horse.

If some unsupervised child wanders up and scares her, it's the parent's fault for letting the kid run wild, not my mare's.

I completely agree. I'm so sick of these parents of hyperactive obnoxious kids blaming everyone else when something happens to them. WATCH YOUR BRATS! I don't blame the poor mare for being scared of kids. They scare me, too.

[sublimequine]

What training method are you using? Because what ever it is after all these years it's not working. I would switch to a new plan. Unless you prefer your mare to behave that way :cool:

My training is working just fine, thanks. She's improved greatly than what she used to do, but is still not safe around children. I don't think she'll ever be totally safe around them, but really, what horse is 100% safe?

[cloudyandcallie]

I suppose maybe you could deal with it the same as a fear of plastic bags - "sack them out" (I'm imagining waving the baby around the horse, rubbing it all over them...) so they get used to them?? :D Only half-kidding, though. Has anyone "taught" their horse to deal with kids better than they used to?

Sacking with kids?:lol::lol: Are you a follower of John Lyons or Parelli?:lol:
It is much easier if your horse loves kids. My WB loves all normal kids and is very careful around them. My TB mare woud ignore most kids, but liked a few choice ones. Both of them wouldn't hurt any child or accidentally step on them when the occasional child did some hugging. My 16.2 WB has even done leadline with 4 and 5 year olds.
However there are some kids, including one who had severe psychological problems at a barn we briefly boarded at, the kid, about 6 or 7 yoa, has been diagonised as a potention psychopath.:eek: When that kid ran thru the paddock, Cloudy would run and hid behind Callie. Animals can sense when people have mental problems.
I'd try exposing the horse to quiet kids if I had your problem. Kids with your horse's favorite treats in hand.

[*JumpIt*]

My mare was scared of children, then she was boarded at a school barn where they hosted summer camp all summer. Children was something she had to get used to, being in a stall allowed her to watch them but still feel safe. Later I allowed some of the more "horse-smart" kids to pet her and give her cookies. Then finally I could have bunches of kids petting her (as long as they didn't scream or run right at her).

It helped, now that she thinks all children are treat-machines. :D

(Though she is not scares of them she is still not "kid-safe", too spooky and over-reactive.)

[sublimequine]

My mare was scared of children, then she was boarded at a school barn where they hosted summer camp all summer. Children was something she had to get used to, being in a stall allowed her to watch them but still feel safe. Later I allowed some of the more "horse-smart" kids to pet her and give her cookies. Then finally I could have bunches of kids petting her (as long as they didn't scream or run right at her).

It helped, now that she thinks all children are treat-machines. :D

She's okay if the child is EXTREMELY quiet (ie, talks softly), and moves VERY slowly. She even was able to handle a horse-smart kid to feed her some treats once. But she can only tolerate the kids who know she's a "scaredy cat". Any normal run of the mill kid, who is talking loudly (kids just seem to kinda talk loud in general..?), and not approaching her specifically slowly, she turns into a quivering, snorting mess.

I'm not really sure how to get her calm around the rambunctious kids, as honestly, they make me nervous too! :lol:

[springer]

Why are you people looking at this as if it's the mare's problem? If she had a bad experience with kids why is it unreasonable to expect people to respectfully back off when asked to?

[sublimequine]

Why are you people looking at this as if it's the mare's problem? If she had a bad experience with kids why is it unreasonable to expect people to respectfully back off when asked to?

Thank you.

I'm not referring to one incident where a kid surprised her, either. The lady who owned my mare before me, had a little hell-child who was uncontrollable. She would run UNDER MY MARE'S BELLY, and thought it was hilarious to jump out from around corners or from behind doors and scare the living daylights out of my mare. I kid you not. She'd jump out, scream at the top of her lungs DIRECTLY INTO MY MARE'S FACE, then my mare would hit the roof, and the girl would burst into laughter. :mad:

[Drive NJ]

I often see advice here telling people to warn others that their horse bites or kicks. Doesn't that make you more liable if something does happen?

Ma'am, you say you have a biting, kicking horse, yet you did nothing to remove her from the open aisle where she could do harm to little sweetie here?

I don't know... just asking. I still talk about the two kids I saw chasing Canada Geese at a living history farm. As I passed the parents, I mentioned they might want to call their kids off as geese can be quite nasty if they turn on you. They looked at me in shock and asked why the farm would have nasty animals on it. I replied that these were wild geese and that their children were harassing them. Heard later in the day that some parents complained to the park about their kids being pecked by chickens after the kids chased them under the hen house. Figured it must be the same kids... and wondered why the park wasn't hearing about the mess the kids must have been after climbing out of the hen house ewwww. Why isn't that cleaned more regularly?

I've always been lucky enough to have a horse that actually likes kids, I'm the one who has a hard time with the undisciplined ones.

[Blugal]

Well you have a new selling feature. "Don't like kids? Try this horse. You can warn kids away - and blame the horse! It's a win-win." :lol:

[Hoofprince in Mud]

Thank you.

I'm not referring to one incident where a kid surprised her, either. The lady who owned my mare before me, had a little hell-child who was uncontrollable. She would run UNDER MY MARE'S BELLY, and thought it was hilarious to jump out from around corners or from behind doors and scare the living daylights out of my mare. I kid you not. She'd jump out, scream at the top of her lungs DIRECTLY INTO MY MARE'S FACE, then my mare would hit the roof, and the girl would burst into laughter. :mad:

So, you are implying your mare's behaviour towards children has deteriorated since you have owned her, because you stated, the child of the previous owners, was able to ran under the mare's belly.

Would that suggest to you, maybe you are feeding the mare's fears?

[Hoofprince in Mud]

Why are you people looking at this as if it's the mare's problem? If she had a bad experience with kids why is it unreasonable to expect people to respectfully back off when asked to?

Because it is a problem with the mare. It is an even greater problem for the person who owns the horse and is responsible for the horse's behaviour, if the horse ever puts a hoof on a small person.

[Woodland]

Alright, I need help. :lol:

My mare is afraid of children. It's something we've been working on for years, and now she can at least be in the same aisleway with them if they don't move or make any noise whatsoever.. :uhoh: :lol: :lol:

But how do I tell people, who seem to think it's okay to let their offspring come bounding up to my horse (who at this point I'm peeling out of the rafters), that my mare is TERRIFIED of their kids, and please don't let them near her?

You'd think my mare snorting and popping out eyeballs and quivering in her boots would clue these folks in, but the one or two times I have mentioned something, the people look at me like I'm crazy. :mad: (EDIT: I was very nice about it, too, and still got dirty looks.)

I know, it's a bit of an odd fear for a horse. She's got good reason, though. Bad bad bad experiences with littleuns in her past, and it's just something I don't know if she'll EVER get over completely.

Until that day that she decides all humans under the height of 5" are not going to maim her, how can I tell people, "Please back off, your 40 lb kid is scaring my 1200lb horse."? :lol:

I don't wanna offend people, especially when the rare occasion the kid is being good and not actually provoking the mare. But it doesn't matter, even model-children are scary.

Sorry sublime your program is clearly not working. You need a different one! I am not saying that obnoxious kids are OK - not at all. But her behavior makes her dangerous in my book. A SERIOUS problem like that must be addressed completely for the safety and well being of your mare! I get SPOOKY horses in all the time for training. If they are not better within a few days/weeks I know I am on the wrong path - no excuses she needs HELP!

JMHO - for your well being as well!

[Woodland]

Because it is a problem with the mare. It is an even greater problem for the person who owns the horse and is responsible for the horse's behaviour, if the horse ever puts a hoof on a small person.

Just like owning a dangerous dog. A horse is an attractive nuisance. As much as we HATE it, kids are drawn to them. Untrained people behave in an untrained way. They only know what they know - just like the mare. We can not change other people, but we can change our and our horses reaction to it. You can only control the variable you have directly in hand. Expecting strangers to change is irrational.

[Chief2]

I simply warn the parents that XX is not a children's horse. He is spooky and easily set off. Please keep your children with you. They usually thank me for the warning.

[5]

Offend them.
Yell at them to "STAY!" then explain.
It's a dangerous situation and you can't be sued for being a bicth but let your mare kick defensively at one of the little darlings and watch how fast you are slapped with a lawsuit.

BTW I don't think you should have to train your mare to accommodate out of control disrespectful children who should know better.

I'm assuming these children are not fellow boarders- tell them to 'get out' you are not paying xxx dollars a month to have your mare mauled by brats who don't have a right to be there.

[Alagirl]

LOL!


but there are a lot of good kids out there, once you explain that somebody was really mean to the horse before you got her, and all that jazz, I am pretty sure most will be very obliging! (if not, you can still turn on the b*tch and growl at them! SIT, STAY, PLAY DEAD!) :lol:

[springer]

Offend them.
Yell at them to "STAY!" then explain.
It's a dangerous situation and you can't be sued for being a bicth but let your mare kick defensively at one of the little darlings and watch how fast you are slapped with a lawsuit.

BTW I don't think you should have to train your mare to accommodate out of control disrespectful children who should know better.

I'm assuming these children are not fellow boarders- tell them to 'get out' you are not paying xxx dollars a month to have your mare mauled by brats who don't have a right to be there.

So true. I would absolutely yell at the kids to stay away. Or better yet, board at a barn with no kids!!!

[Parker_Rider]

Offend them.
Yell at them to "STAY!" then explain.
It's a dangerous situation and you can't be sued for being a bicth but let your mare kick defensively at one of the little darlings and watch how fast you are slapped with a lawsuit.

BTW I don't think you should have to train your mare to accommodate out of control disrespectful children who should know better.

I'm assuming these children are not fellow boarders- tell them to 'get out' you are not paying xxx dollars a month to have your mare mauled by brats who don't have a right to be there.

Heck.Yes. I don't have kids, don't like them, (well, I like some of them.. :)) because it seems most of them are spoiled, obnoxious little things who have never heard "No" before in their lives.
My gelding is precious around kids. So is my mare. Don't have issues with horses, mainly because they've learned that little kids around our barns are either respectful of the LARGE beasts, or they're so in awe that they're seriously cute- like the little girl who asked at Stock Show if she could pet my gelding and put her arms up, and my gelding put his head on her chest and let her "hug" him.... But then there are those kids who put me on edge, and therefore put all my horses on edge, and my dog on edge - your nervousness is probably also having some sort of effect since horses are very sensitive.
A kid, who was playing on my lawn, saw me coming home from a walk with my dog and ran towards me saying "Pet doggie!!" "no, honey, he's not friendly, no" and kid just keeps coming, "Pet doggie!"... "NO, HONEY, NO!" and my dog is running in the other direction, I let go of the leash and tell him "Go home" and he hides on the porch, and I'm getting ready to intercept this child when Mom strolls over and grabs him saying "oh honey, he doesn't feel well today" I wanted to scream and told her "No, he's just not kid friendly. Please watch your child on my property." Dirty looks, but hey, I don't care.

Sometimes you just have to offend people to make the point and keep them safe. Post all over your horse's stall "Don't pet me/don't feed me" in general and offend away. If you warn.. well.. you can't fix stupid on some people.

[LearnToFly]

Elvis is ABSOLUTELY 100% TERRIFIED of the 12 year old kid who lives across the street. Granted, I'm pretty convinced that this kid is the spawn of satan, but still, my horse isn't afraid of any other person. Anyway, I was trying unsuccesfully to give him a bath and the kid walked up. Elvis FREAKED and broke the crossties AND the post they were tied to and took off.

When I finally caught him, I made the kid walk up, pet him on the nose, and tell him he would never do anything mean to him again. Both of them stared at each other wide-eyed for a few seconds and then went their separate ways... But it was pretty effective, Elvis now only freaks out when the kid is doing something stupid instead of just existing

[Trakehner]

"My mare doesn't like kids...she takes after her owner...I am not interested in entertaining your birth control failures...go away"

Seems so simple in print. Barns aren't playgrounds. We are there to see our horses or riding friends...we aren't there to babysit your squaling meatloafs or snot-nosed spawn while you take a lesson.

I don't want anyone's kid around my beasts without my invitation. I don't need the risk or danger to my horse.

As a wise person said, "If I wanted to hear the pitty-patt of little feet, I'd put shoes on my cat"

[EquineSublime]

"My mare doesn't like kids...she takes after her owner...I am not interested in entertaining your birth control failures...go away"

Seems so simple in print. Barns aren't playgrounds. We are there to see our horses or riding friends...we aren't there to babysit your squaling meatloafs or snot-nosed spawn while you take a lesson.

I don't want anyone's kid around my beasts without my invitation. I don't need the risk or danger to my horse.

As a wise person said, "If I wanted to hear the pitty-patt of little feet, I'd put shoes on my cat"

ROFLMAO :lol::lol: Ouch.

[BuddyRoo]

It doesn't sound to me like she's worried about kids per se...more the volume and the quick movements...which kids tend to have going for them (or against?)

Anyway...I don't think it's unreasonable to expect kids and adults alike to behave appropriately in a barn around horses they don't know. IE: You don't run, jump, yell, or generally do things that would spook a horse or put you in the kick zone.

Had a lady the other night walk up behind my mare (I was trimming) and park it for a convo. I didn't say anything because I wasn't particularly concerned, just made a mental note "Kick zone, lady...duh!"....but then during the course of conversation, she turned around, POKED my mare in the butt and told the fellow she was chatting with that she wanted her horse's butt to look like this one--poke!

HELLO?

I haven't come up with just the right words myself....so i'm following along. Part of my issue is that both of my horses ARE pretty darned tolerant of everything so the risk is minimal. Kids, adults...some people just don't have a clue.

[ThoroughbredFancy]

My horse is usually OK with kids.

However if there are noisy kids moving around rapidly he will pin his ears at them.

He feels the same way I do.

[sublimequine]

It doesn't sound to me like she's worried about kids per se...more the volume and the quick movements...which kids tend to have going for them (or against?)

Anyway...I don't think it's unreasonable to expect kids and adults alike to behave appropriately in a barn around horses they don't know. IE: You don't run, jump, yell, or generally do things that would spook a horse or put you in the kick zone.

Had a lady the other night walk up behind my mare (I was trimming) and park it for a convo. I didn't say anything because I wasn't particularly concerned, just made a mental note "Kick zone, lady...duh!"....but then during the course of conversation, she turned around, POKED my mare in the butt and told the fellow she was chatting with that she wanted her horse's butt to look like this one--poke!

HELLO?

I haven't come up with just the right words myself....so i'm following along. Part of my issue is that both of my horses ARE pretty darned tolerant of everything so the risk is minimal. Kids, adults...some people just don't have a clue.

Geez, how clueless can that lady be?! :eek:

[horsepoor]

I'm not so sure about this idea to warn them that your horse bites or kicks, etc. It can get turned around on you, to say that you shouldn't have your horse where there are children. Not saying that is right, just that is what the militant mom will say.
I've had a similar situation where unsupervised children were running rampant at my current barn. Seeing the 5 year old two-legger petting my 3 year old warmblood freaked me out, so I made a point to seek out the parent to tell them how inadvisable that was -- my horse could bite the little kid. I was told that my horse should have a sign posted to warn them of that! Even if the 5 year old could READ, my point was that ANY horse might bite when little munchkin fingers are presented.
Anyway, I sympathize with the OP's mare. I'm afraid of kids too, esp shrieklings!

[vali]

My gelding used to be afraid of children, especially in strollers, but then I moved him home and had babies myself. Amazing how quickly he discovered how small children often carry carrots, and how gentle he was with them. Of course we also supervised the kids, who learned how not to run behind the horses and how to feed a carrot, but maybe you could enlist a friend with a kid who could come feed carrots to your mare. All our horses LOVE kids now, and even my spooky young mare could care less about kids rustling in the bushes. I used to board several years ago at a place that was next to a hot air balloon landing strip, and you can bet my young hot gelding was upset when we first moved there, but after a while he could care less. I do get annoyed at people who let their kids run wild at public boarding barns or shows. I have been accused of "hating children" when I pointed out to a fellow boarder that it wasn't safe to let her son run behind other people's horses. I said that what I hated was seeing kids who had gotten kicked, and that I had seen a kid get her jaw broken, which was true. Now that I have kids, I still find irresponsible parents annoying.

[Hampton Bay]

Instead of yelling about how YOUR horse kicks/bites/whatever and hates kids, why not try the approach of ANY horse can kick/bite a kid coming at him? Then you are less likely to be held responsible. Go more for the "stop running at my horse because horses are big and unpredictable".

I feel you on the kids who have no idea how to behave. My ex-bf's kids used to come to the barn, and I would just be amazed at the things he thought he could do around the horses. And then to make matters worse, if one of the horses was at all scared, my ex would have a hissy fit about his precious kids getting hurt. Well lets see here, you waving your arms around and smacking my horse in the butt while he is standing next to your kid is just going to get the kid flattened that much more quickly! DUH!

Thankfully all of my horses are really pretty darned well behaved around humans of any size. I can't imagine being in your situation. It would make me really nervous!

[goeslikestink]

Alright, I need help. :lol:

My mare is afraid of children. It's something we've been working on for years, and now she can at least be in the same aisleway with them if they don't move or make any noise whatsoever.. :uhoh: :lol: :lol:

But how do I tell people, who seem to think it's okay to let their offspring come bounding up to my horse (who at this point I'm peeling out of the rafters), that my mare is TERRIFIED of their kids, and please don't let them near her?

You'd think my mare snorting and popping out eyeballs and quivering in her boots would clue these folks in, but the one or two times I have mentioned something, the people look at me like I'm crazy. :mad: (EDIT: I was very nice about it, too, and still got dirty looks.)

I know, it's a bit of an odd fear for a horse. She's got good reason, though. Bad bad bad experiences with littleuns in her past, and it's just something I don't know if she'll EVER get over completely.

Until that day that she decides all humans under the height of 5" are not going to maim her, how can I tell people, "Please back off, your 40 lb kid is scaring my 1200lb horse."? :lol:

I don't wanna offend people, especially when the rare occasion the kid is being good and not actually provoking the mare. But it doesn't matter, even model-children are scary.


1st if bo allows kids to run around everywher and not walk then its a playground and not a well run yard

as unruly kids everywhere -there should be a rule to no kids under certian age which is normally 15 with out supervision and they walk and not run

2nd if your mareisone to lunge over the doors at people then put a wooden bar up nose hieght so you have taken and can be seen to have taken every precaution as not to have horse reach out and bite a passer- byer

if ridden and in the ring then again comes under barn rules and they deeem as safe

hazzards can be prevented by taking small steps as bo or manager perhaps they need to up date or add new rules on the point of safety

[nightsong]

warn others that their horse bites or kicks. Doesn't that make you more liable if something does happen?

Ma'am, you say you have a biting, kicking horse, yet you did nothing to remove her from the open aisle where she could do harm to little sweetie here?

I wonder about the liability also.

[LexInVA]

I wonder about the liability also.

Any event is subject to interpretation, but there is certainly "more" liability if you do tell them to get their child away in six different languages as it is an admission that your animal has a tendency to hurt people or is dangerous. Any good lawyer can simply argue that the horse was obviously a danger and therefore should not have been where it could hurt people passing by and that isn't a hard line to sell to any judge.

[spurgirl]

The OP commented in a later post that "rambunctious kids make me nervous, too"....I think your own nervousness is affecting your horse. She's picking up on your (nervous) attitude when the kids come around. I don't know your barn set up, but if there are children around a lot, you need to be very careful. Are there end crossties, with doors to her backside? That way you can control what comes upon your horse better. Is there a small, but well behaved kid who can help you desensitize your mare? If this is done slowly, over the course of time, the child can become more active and noisy, as your mare learns to tolerate it....A little OT, but we bought a QH gelding who was a jerk about being caught-it took 8 MONTHS to train him out of it, (doing something "catch related" every day) now this horse will gallop to me. It took a lot of time to catch, pet, release him, or sit in the paddock reading a book, or catch him, walk out of the gate, then right back in and let him go with a pat, etc., etc., until he learned that capture didn't always mean work.

We all know these days that people usually are clueless about horses-or don't care what their kids do at the barn, BUT, if your horse is around kids a lot, I'd be sure to take every step possible to try to get your mare over this fear-or at least, able to tolerate children. Good Luck!

[JSwan]

I'm afraid of children too. Have you ever noticed how sticky they are? And girls - what is up with little girls and glitter? And screeching? Screeching sticky glittery kids! Ack!

I have no idea how to help your mare - but I understand her completely. :lol:

Alright, I need help. :lol:

My mare is afraid of children. It's something we've been working on for years, and now she can at least be in the same aisleway with them if they don't move or make any noise whatsoever.. :uhoh: :lol: :lol:

[soccermom711]

Regular exposure to the things that frighten them really is the key. Not that it's otherwise impossible, it will just take longer.

I'm sure when you said "kids make you nervous too", you didn't mean that literally. What your mare may be picking up on is your apprehension that someone's child may actually get hurt. I understand, as I feel the same way with my children around some of the horses at the barn. Kids and animals are both unpredictable and prone to doing stupid things -- put them together, and you have the possibility of an accident. Heck, I do some stupid things myself. Just the other night I took the kids out to the paddock to see my mare with her one month old foal. We've only had this mare for 8 months - she came to us spooky from a lack of handling and experience. I've since bonded with her and she's made huge strides. She's no longer afraid of muck buckets, bedding being spread, kids, dogs, etc, BUT her foal is. This is one of the spunkiest, funniest foals I've ever been around. She will not let the kids pet her unless I'm holding her. So, I went into the paddock with them in the hopes of catching the foal. It was a no go -- she stared at the kids like they were aliens. They were trotting back and forth until, for whatever reason, they decided to blow by me at full speed. I got lucky with the foal -- I don't think she intentionally tried to avoid me. Mom did though - she made a huge effort to avoid me and yet I still felt her coat brush my sleeve. When I flash back to that moment, I could just kick myself.:yes:

In summary, this foal, in another atmosphere, could be a challenge to socialize. I feel confident though, that in our setting, it will all proceed just fine in time. It's our barn, so the kids have free run of the place when they are there (we don't live on the property). They run around, make noise, feed treats, yell, laugh, play basketball, ride go carts, etc. Eventually, she'll come to the same conclusion that every other horse at the barn has -- they're harmless, sometimes surprising, but mostly carry treats.:cool:

Good luck. :) In the meantime, I would give some kind of warning to people with children. If you're afraid of the liability, maybe just keep it very general, as in "she's spooky so I wouldn't recommend petting her - but so-and-so over there is great if your child wants to go see them".

[springer]

I'm afraid of children too. Have you ever noticed how sticky they are? And girls - what is up with little girls and glitter? And screeching? Screeching sticky glittery kids! Ack!

I have no idea how to help your mare - but I understand her completely. :lol:

OMG- LOL!!!! that's hysterical!!!!!!! And true- thanks for starting my day out with a good laugh!

[Saidapal]

I completely agree. I'm so sick of these parents of hyperactive obnoxious kids blaming everyone else when something happens to them. WATCH YOUR BRATS! I don't blame the poor mare for being scared of kids. They scare me, too.

I agree 100%. That said, whenever one of my horses is afraid of something I go out of my way to expose them to the scary object. I carry a bag of carrots or their special treat, and every time they don't overreact I stuff a treat at them. Doesn't take them long to discover umbrella means carrot, or plastic bag means apple wafer, and not long after that a treat isn't even needed.

I would enlist the aid of some kids to give her treats. You can't possibly be around her 24/7 to keep those scary kids away, and for her own good she needs to find a way to live with/around children. She will never LIKE them, but it is possible to give her a different perspective.

[texang73]

Well, I have the same bug eyed reaction when I'm forced to be around obnoxious kids:lol: It doesn't seem all that strange to me!


Ditto!! :D

[Lambie Boat]

furthermore, don't force your stinky, puking, coughing infant into my arms and then ask me when I plan to have my own. you force me to recoil in horror and be rude.

next time I might end-zone spike the sucker like a football and do a victory dance

[grayarabpony]

My horse is usually OK with kids.

However if there are noisy kids moving around rapidly he will pin his ears at them.

He feels the same way I do.


:lol:

[arabhorse2]

I'm afraid of children too. Have you ever noticed how sticky they are? And girls - what is up with little girls and glitter? And screeching? Screeching sticky glittery kids! Ack!

I have no idea how to help your mare - but I understand her completely. :lol:


BAAHAAHAAHAAA!!!

JSwan, you, me, and the OP's mare are all on the same page! :D

Casper lurves children. He goes all doe eyed and cuddly when he sees one. Doesn't like screechy ones, though. I think their high decibel shrieking hurts his ears.

Conny hated kids. Wasn't afraid of 'em, just didn't like 'em. Whenever I'd give pony rides, he'd give me his "You WILL pay for this!" look! :mad:

Of course, Conny pretty much hated all living things except adult humans, so he wasn't exactly a stellar example of "can't we all just get along?" :lol:

My Great Dane is afraid of men. There's no reason she should be afraid of them, she just is. I've had her since she was 12 weeks old, and she's been exposed to men all her life. She adores women. With men, she has to be convinced they're not going to hurt her, for some reason. :confused:

Lexi's also afraid of children. Probably for the same reasons JSwan mentioned..... ;)

[soccermom711]

I suppose I should qualify my previous statements with the fact that my kids know how to act around horses and respect them. I've made it very clear what CAN happen and they've seen enough to get the picture.;)

While the horses are relatively trustworthy around MY kids, I have seen them do their level best to avoid the bratty, obnoxious, overly loud, constantly running, pain-in-the-butt types. As much as I wouldn't trust the horses with that type of child, it's as if they are looking at that child like "I don't trust YOU". :no:

In fairness, I've been known to head to house and shut the door when I see them pull up. If the horses are lucky, they are turned out and can escape to the far corners.:lol:

[BuddyRoo]

The bigger challenge for me w/ kids has been the parents...kids generally seem to listen to adults who are assertive. Parents?

I was leasing a farm for awhile and the BO's daughter would come to visit once or twice a year. She bring her kids. The horses of course were a very cool thing and the kids really wanted pony rides. I was trying to be nice so I said that would be fine and scheduled a time.

Before we even got down to the barn, I talked to the kids about walking, no running, no yelling, stay with me, do not walk behind the horse (not past the front shoulder) etc.

I had saintly mare tied and was tacking up and monster brat boy started running around. I said, "Remember? No running and we need to stay in FRONT of the horse. Horses can kick." He settled for a moment....parents and grandma were right there btw. He started running around behind the horse again and I hollered, "NO!"

Mom was TICKED. "We don't tell our children No."

OMG. Well, I do. Pony ride over.

[DeeThbd]

I'm afraid of children too. Have you ever noticed how sticky they are? And girls - what is up with little girls and glitter? And screeching? Screeching sticky glittery kids! Ack!

I have no idea how to help your mare - but I understand her completely. :lol:

WIN! JSwan, you ROCK!
A barn is NOT a playground....if a kid wants to run around screeching, they are more than welcome to do it at home. Why is the general population expected to applaud every time little Snotums has a bowel movement or blows a bubble? I love well raised kids, but it seems like they are becoming rare...and if anyone tells Mommy Dearest or Daddy Dearest that Sweetums is doing something wrong, they turn rabid? There are some GOOD parents out there, but some think that nobody has any business correcting their spawn if they are out of line - and they won't do it either.
Going to the phobia part, I can relate....my oldest gelding has a thing about cattle. They are aliens...and the mother ship is coming to get him. He will do a huge lovely extended trot for ages, then freeze and stare, rinse, repeat. At my old barn, my BO got three beef calves, and the only empty space was the foaling stall across from my gelding. I figured that FINALLY he would get over the cattle thing. Every night, for three montsh, he saw them, heard them, smelled them...ate supper watching Cow TV. Well, the day came when they were being moved from barn to pasture, and one of them got loose and went with its tail up over its back. My gelding SNAPPED. He was in his paddock, galloped himself into a white lather, bouncing off fences and shrubbery. Took us half an hour to pen him in the barn, and another hour to walk him till he cooled out. I really thought that he was going to run until he collapsed. I really, really thought that daily exposure had "cured" him...but it didn't. I wonder if something happened involving cattle in his past that left that deep of an impression on him, similar to the OP's mare.
Dee

[Iropeum]

While I don't "do" unruly brats ANYWHERE. It sounds to me like this horse needs some serious De Sensitizing:yes:

Kids, mine included can run amok around my horses, screaming, waving their arms what have you and my horses are cool as cucumbers. I think its great they are that "broke" and not spooky in the least. HA! Try visiting a roping or a barrel race, kids are running and screaming everywhere playing, doesn't phase the horses one bit. I am glad I got away from those "stuffy" type environments where kids can't be kids around horses cause they might scare them;)
I'll take a rodeo over a rated show anyday of the week. Just my opinion. I am sure most won't agree with me. But I am glad no one has to "tip toe" around my ponies.

Now, of course I teach my kids to not run up behind strange horses, they know not to. And my children aren't obnoxious, they listen to me and are pretty quiet around horses they do not know. I cannot speak for the parents of the unruly brats, just speaking for my own. However, if someons ünruly spawn happens to run up to one of my horses, least I can rest assured hes not going to do a backflip in the crossties and seriously hurt someone or himself. All my horses are de sensitized to everything I can think of. Bags, tarps, dogs, kids, goats, cows, you name it, they been exposed.

[arabhorse2]

Iropeum, your prejudice is showing, dear.

The OP never said anything about kids at shows. She said at the barn where she boards some of the children were unruly, and her horse has kid issues.

Let's not make this about English vs Western people, please.

Children should be well mannered around horses, regardless of the setting. If they're screeching, uncontrolled hellions, I blame the parents, not the horses they're spooking.

I understand that kids are shrieky and like to play loudly. There should be areas set aside for them to do just that. A barn or entrance gate isn't the correct place.

[Donella]

This is a universal problem...ie dumb parent/s completely unaware of serious risks to their children. You see them all the time, in the parking lots where children are running around while mom unloads the groceries, only half aware of where her children are. You see it at horse shows and boarding stables ect ect If I had a dollar for all the times I have seen parents ho humming around while their children are in situations of serious risk, I would be a kabillionaire. There are alot of stupid people out there and alot of them have children and many of them seem to have lost that supposedly ingrained biological concern for the welfare of their offspring. Quite frankly, any parent who lets their children wander around strange horses so readily probably shouldn't have children.

At the end of the day people, it is up to the PARENT to ensure the safety of his/her children and to keep them safe. The world should not have to (nor does it usually, in real life) take on this role. Do not feel bad about being very blatant towards the parents about kids that close to your horse. The sooner those idiot parents learn such a simple concept, the better of their children will be!

[Auventera Two]

I think its stupid that you have to fill out a 9 page front and back form complete with background check, credit check, veterinary records on every past pet you ever owned, and 5 references to get a cat from the pound, but anybody with plumbing can breed and produce kids. What kind of world do we live in anyway? :no: :eek: If I were CEO of the planet, nobody would have a kid without training, certification, and testing first.

[Iropeum]

Its not about western and english, I ride both btw.......
its about people letting their horses call the shots and "sheltering" their horses that gets me. flame away........

I don't condone kids running wild in the least in the barn, at the show, etc.... But obviously you cannot control other peoples kids, thats up to the parents, who some are completely clueless. My point is that your horse should be able to handle it. Doesn't make it right, but at least you won't be thrown into a lawsuit because your horse doesn't "like" children or is afraid of them.

again.. flame away...... :cool:

[Trixie]

I'll take a rodeo over a rated show anyday of the week. Just my opinion. I am sure most won't agree with me. But I am glad no one has to "tip toe" around my ponies.

Kids need to learn to behave no matter WHAT the venue. Wasn’t that toddler kicked by a horse at a horse expo? There’s no reason for children to ever be out of control or unsupervised around horses.

I don’t think it’s an English versus Western thing, I think it’s a MANNERS thing.

Children do not belong in a barn or at a venue around large farm animals until they’re old enough to listen to the word “no” and are capable of following simple direction on how to behave themselves.

[Curb Appeal]

Children should be taught to behave around horses, but in the end they are children with short and often selective memories. As the horse owner it is your responsibility to make your horse safe, or move her to a barn where she will not be exposed to them.

If you had a dog who was known to bite, would you take it to the park?

[Iropeum]

Children should be taught to behave around horses, but in the end they are children with short and often selective memories. As the horse owner it is your responsibility to make your horse safe, or move her to a barn where she will not be exposed to them.

If you had a dog who was known to bite, would you take it to the park?

:yes::yes::yes::yes:
I agree 1000%

[Iropeum]

Kids need to learn to behave no matter WHAT the venue. Wasn’t that toddler kicked by a horse at a horse expo? There’s no reason for children to ever be out of control or unsupervised around horses.

I don’t think it’s an English versus Western thing, I think it’s a MANNERS thing.

Children do not belong in a barn or at a venue around large farm animals until they’re old enough to listen to the word “no” and are capable of following simple direction on how to behave themselves.

I agree with you as well!:)

[Iropeum]

Iropeum, your prejudice is showing, dear.

The OP never said anything about kids at shows. She said at the barn where she boards some of the children were unruly, and her horse has kid issues.

Let's not make this about English vs Western people, please.

Children should be well mannered around horses, regardless of the setting. If they're screeching, uncontrolled hellions, I blame the parents, not the horses they're spooking.

I understand that kids are shrieky and like to play loudly. There should be areas set aside for them to do just that. A barn or entrance gate isn't the correct place.

My prejudice is showing? Hardly.. compared to the folks on this thread that "hate" children. unruly or not. Kids are complete products of their environment.

[Trixie]

Children should be taught to behave around horses, but in the end they are children with short and often selective memories. As the horse owner it is your responsibility to make your horse safe, or move her to a barn where she will not be exposed to them.

If you had a dog who was known to bite, would you take it to the park?

This depends.

If a kid is being brought to the barn to "run around" while mommy plays with her pony, I'd consider that child minimally supervised and I'd complain to whomever was in charge. It's poor manners to expect everyone else to embrace and deal with your child when you can't be bothered to keep them under control.

As for the dog, that depends on the actions of the other folks in the park. I'd probably take precautions - maybe a chain collar, or a muzzle - but we've all seen people assume that all animals are sweet and fuzzy when that's simply not the case. People need to do some due diligence of their own prior to running up to the cute little fuzzy.

[arabhorse2]

My prejudice is showing? Hardly.. compared to the folks on this thread that "hate" children. unruly or not. Kids are complete products of their environment.

I still say you have something against primarily English shows, since by your own admission you'd rather hang out with the rodeo crowd. Nothing wrong with being where you're most comfortable, but you did take a rather large dig at what I believe you perceive as "snobbiness" with the English crowd.

I don't hate kids; just don't particularly care for most of 'em. Why? Because with all the touchy-feely, non-disciplined, and entitlement crap people are feeding their children these days, quite a few of them are evil little demons.

My late horse hated kids. Was he allowed to act on it? Oh hell no! He knew he had to deal with stuff he didn't like, nor did he have carte blanche to double barrel whomever was pissing him off.

He was terrified of beef cattle and minis, but was expected to go past them with a minimum of fuss, which he did.

Training and discipline are essential for both horses and children. When one doesn't have it and the other does, it can make for a volatile situation.

Blaming the horse entirely is a cop out. Keeping your spawn under control is just as important as keeping the horse under control.

[Ambrey]

They are both true.

Younger kids have limited impulse control (although some have more than others). Parents who bring younger children around horses need to watch them like hawks, because the chances that the "don't run/scream/run under the horse and grab its tail" rule will be followed in the heat of the moment is slim.

And a person with a horse who is truly dangerous around children needs to consider his/her own liability in the situation if the barn has children around. Make sure your horse is safe for the environment that is, not the one you think should be.

Liability wise, people trump animals- if an animal hurts a person the owner of the animal is liable if he/she should have known it could happen and prevented it. That means if you know your dog could bite kids, you don't take it anywhere that could happen, and if you know your horse will kick at kids you keep it away from children.

If I were on the jury "the parent wasn't watching and the kid ran up and grabbed my 10 month old mule's back leg" might be a defense, but "my horse doesn't like kids and the kid came too close" probably would not, if the horse was in an area where kids were likely to be around.

But that's why we're required to carry $1m liability in our public stable, where there are always kids with clueless parents around.

[grabmaneandgo]

You know, I read through this thread and am now a bit frustrated because so many posts refer to children as brats, obnoxious, unruly, and awful. They are young and learning, and unless the adult in their lives is completely knowledgeable about all things horse, the kids are going to be a challenge for some horses - and horse owners.

But please, unless you have children and have sat on the edge of your seat with your hands in head and wondered if you were doing the right thing as a parent, don't criticize. You never know what's going on behind closed doors in a family, and while most of us want to be the best parents ever, we make mistakes. Sometimes we don't even know we've made a mistake until it's too late.

No one wakes up in the morning and says, "Gee, I'm not gonna give a shit about my kids today, and if they get pummeled by that mare, too bad."

It's just incredibly hypocritical to me that you can excuse a lot of the inherent (or even learned) behavior in your horses, but you can't find the same compassion for your human counterparts.

Granted, there are a select few people who underscore Darwin's work, but a lot of the posts on this thread feel decidedly anti-children. Think about the last person you met who was anti-horse. Didn't you think to yourself, "How can this person not like horses if they've never even had one?"

And...my horse has been freaked by more obnoxious grown-ups than children. Ever foxhunted with a field full of newbies who don't think they're newbies?

[BlueEyedSorrel]

I still remember the speech my first riding instructor gave to my little sister and me prior to our first lesson (we were 6&8 yrs at the time), before we were even allowed to ENTER the barn, much less get within 10 feet of an actual horse. Instructor had 3 rules:

1) No running

2) No screaming/yelling/noise

3) If I tell you to stop what you're doing, you stop immediately, no questions asked.

She made it clear that these were safety rules and failure to follow the rules would mean the lesson was over, period. It was all delivered very matter of fact, with frequent comparisons to safety rules we were already familar with (ie wearing a seatbelt in the car, not running in the street etc).

Funny, I don't remember feeling at all traumatized by a meanie instructor and her mean ol' rules. I was just so excited to be around actual real live horses that it didn't seem like a terrible burden. Of course, I also knew that if I messed up, not only would the lesson be over, but my parents would back the instructor up and I'd probably be in trouble at home too. This wasn't THAT long ago (I'm 28). But still, the idea that kids can't be taught to behave appropriately at the barn (or at the movie theatre or in a restaurant or at church or in public in general) is bull.

BES

[Ambrey]

There is a BIG difference between a 4-5 year old and a 6-8 year old in terms of ability to resist impulses. There is a reason many riding schools won't take kids until they are 6 unless they are extremely emotionally/mentally mature for their age.

And a 3 year old... I just can't imagine having one around horses without a hand on at all times.

[BuddyRoo]

BlueEyed--I grew up around horses and those were the rules for us as well. If we didn't behave, we had to go home. I was such a horse crazed kid that I'd turn myself inside out trying to be good. LOL

That said, often the kids at the barn are NOT horse crazed kids...rather, children of horse crazed parents who really really really want to get out there and be at the barn but can't do it without kids in tow. I totally get it.

I don't have kids so maybe I'm WAY oversimplifying. I have a dog. My dog used to get to come to the barn all the time. At my new barn, there is a no dog rule. I hate leaving him at home for long periods of time (since I'm at work all day too) so I have to make arrangements to keep him happy and get my ride time in.

If I DO take him somewhere, it's a PITA because I know that first and foremost, I have to be responsible for him. Whether I'm at a park, at the office (he comes w/ me a lot--just as many coworkers bring their kids), at the barn, up at the boat...wherever. He's MY dog and I cannot allow him to negatively impact others. He's my responsibility. Yes, it's kind of a pain and it would be much more fun to just let him run around...but no one else signed up to have a monster. I did.

[grayarabpony]

I had to laugh the first time my horse saw a toddler. His eyes got as big as saucers, and you could see him thinking "What is that?!"

My horse would probably like noise and chaos of kids run amok, up to a point. He likes to create both noise and trouble himself whenever possible.

I hate to see little kids running around a barn unsupervised though. I was in a barn where an 18-month-old ran up a mare's back legs. The mare kicked, but the child was just scooped up and then tossed -- miraculously no injuries. Scary.

[Ambrey]

Yeah, kids aren't dogs. They are human beings, with all of the rights of an adult but none of the skills/knowledge.

There is no promise in the Rules of Living that you won't be negatively impacted by the existance of children. In fact, the laws of the US are set up such that implementation of rules to reach that end are often illegal (i.e. not renting to people with children).

The Rules for parenthood and The Rules for dog ownership are just not even remotely similar.

[aspenlucas]

From what I've read, I vote for you saying "my mare is not safe around children" or "she kicks". If even a model child that is acting appropriately freaks your mare out. Then the mare is the problem not the children. If I walked through the barn with my kids and you said "my mare is scared of little ones". I wouldn't expect them to get double barreled. I think for your safety and liability you need to be clear that she is dangerous, if she indeed is.

[Cancara]

Sympathise with your problem, my GSD bitch is also terrified of children. She's a bit spooky and not great with noisy people anyway, but since a bunch of playful kids completely accidentally nailed her with a football she will literally run a mile at the sight of them- makes walks very difficult. *Sigh*

You worry like mad about animal and children alike, she's big enough to do someone an injury just trying to get the hell outta there... guess same fears prob. apply with your horse!

[katarine]

IIRC this mare rarely leaves this farm/barn so you are not asking how to deal with it at shows/fairs/rodeos/CTRs, etc.

#1 Set her up to be successful. Tack her up in an empty stall, for example- since I know she's an outside horse, when you bring her in, stash her in an empty stall to tack up/groom,etc..in other words, hide from the kids that worry her. If you want to bathe her, be sloppy with the hose - mist the kids that are playing too close under the guise of hosing her chest, they'll scoot. Meaning...don't accommodate what shouldn't be there in the first place. I'm NOT saying a soaker hose is in order- I AM saying bathe her like they aren't in the way ;)

#2- Require her to listen to you, first- take no crap off her under the guise of poor scared pooky. PSP had damn well better be tuned into me enough to stand still, unhappy but still- til the kids have moved off.

#3- Talk politely to the parents. ASK them to help you by letting the mare have SOME reasonable amt of room, and warn them politely that if they do get too close, for their own protection, you will be saying 'Hey, Scoot- you are in a bad spot.' Just do it. I recall some kids literally sitting down in front of my gelding at a horse camp, wanting to watch the farrier replace a shoe. I calmly said 'you two cannot sit there, but you may sit over there. Up and over, let's go. my horse my rules, let's go.' if you can just SAY it, it's done. Assertiveness does not mean screaming meanies or hateful. Just take charge.

I do not mind having a reputation for being fair and reasonable AND vocal about what I need to feel safe for all involved. Get there in your mind, and it gets pretty easy.

[MSP]

If your horse isn't safe with kids get her out of the isle when you see them coming. And let her deal with it in the safety of a stall.

BTW, what exactly did small children do to traumatize your horse so badly?

I have kids and a very opinionated, some times bad tempered mare! The mare is in the stall and my kids do make noise in the barn. My mare is very used to it and my kids are learning how to read horses. I will point out to them her actions or expressions so they learn when to approach and when to back off.

My horse gets used to seeing and dealing with kids and my kids learn that not all horses are like their pocket pony. At lessons my kids learn they are not supposed to run, scream, wave whips, throw sand and run up behind horses. All of which we have to correct them constantly every week at lessons!

Just like your riding instructor might have to remind you and correct you for the same thing every lesson, kids need reminding over and over again. Its not bad kids or bad parenting it's the way we learn. ;)

[vacation1]

I often see advice here telling people to warn others that their horse bites or kicks. Doesn't that make you more liable if something does happen?

I'm not so sure about this idea to warn them that your horse bites or kicks, etc. It can get turned around on you, to say that you shouldn't have your horse where there are children. Not saying that is right, just that is what the militant mom will say.

I think people worry too much about liability, and lend too much credibility to the scare-tactic "and then the burglar sued the homeowner for shooting him" stories out there. Sure, if you warn a parent that your dog bites or your horse kicks, the parent could later sue you because it is very easy in our legal system to file a lawsuit. But - 1) If you ride a horse, drive a car, walk a dog, spill a soda or basically breathe, someone could sue you for something - it is that easy for anyone to file a lawsuit about anything; 2) At some point you have to behave well. Doing everything in your power to safeguard your animal and other people from damaging each other is the right thing to do. Keeping quiet so you can always use the "He never did that before!" defense is the craven, soulless trick of bottom feeders.

[chestnutmarebeware]

As a few others have commented, Drive NJ is correct—telling someone that a horse bites, kicks, etc. can be turned into "knowingly possessing a dangerous animal."

Josh Pons, owner of Country Life Farms and author of A Country Life Diary (excellent book, btw!) comments in his book that the farm was legally advised to only post signs that say "All Horses Bite." That avoids the implication that a particular animal is dangerous.

To the OP, I can definitely relate, as I have a mare that dislikes children, and I have to constantly vigilant (and often nasty!)...

[Walk_N_Gal88]

I think children who are unsupervised or not working on their own horse/pony should be put in an empty clean stall. Give 'em toys, Ipods, books, whatever, just put em in a foaling stall or ban them to the outdoors IF they can't behave themselves! Mama did it with the little ones, and they turned out just fine.

BTW, not all kids at the barn are unsupervised little snotnosed brats, however much Joe Schmoe might think they are. Some are actually there to learn.

[FancyFree]

My horse has become completely desensitized to children because I have two that are around her constantly. My kids are well behaved and horse savvy though. They're not going to be acting like hooligans around horses. So even though my horse is used to small humans, she'd still freak if she had one running around her in an unusual manner. Many horses would freak at this. If I had to board at a barn with a lot of kids, I'd just be hyper-vigilant. Speak up if you think a parent is acting unsafely. I had a little girl at the dog park run right up to my dog's face. I pulled my dog back and told her "No never do that." I told the mom how dangerous that was. She then explained to her daughter.

There are parents who are just clueless though. At the busy stables I used to board at, I can't tell you how many times people from the park next door would come over and visit. They'd just let their kids, I'm talking little kids a few time, run loose. I had to yell at a woman who had her toddler running down the barn aisle that I was leading my horse. Some people who happened to be parents lack common sense. Angels hopefully are watching those kids.

[fordtraktor]

Any event is subject to interpretation, but there is certainly "more" liability if you do tell them to get their child away in six different languages as it is an admission that your animal has a tendency to hurt people or is dangerous. Any good lawyer can simply argue that the horse was obviously a danger and therefore should not have been where it could hurt people passing by and that isn't a hard line to sell to any judge.

It is a no-win situation. Any good lawyer will also ask during discovery whether you were aware your horse had a problem with kids. If you say yes (and you are under oath) then you are twice as on the hook because you didn't warn.

If liability is the main concern, I would tack up Scaredy Horse in its stall, door shut, when kids are around, just to cover my butt.

I also have no problem bossing other people's kids around if they get too near my horse. I'm happy to tell the parents that I was worried about their safety as it is not safe for kids to be that close to horses. If they object, they can complain all they want to anyone who cares.

[Penthilisea]

Ok I can't wade through all the unruly kid posts. My two cents, ask a friend with a horse savvy kid to help you desensitize your mare with treats etc. Possibly the child of another boarder could drop a carrot in your mares feed tub every time she passes, to start. No interaction, just something good happeneing. I know my TB was MUCH reconciled to dogs when the BO always brought her big Bernese Mt Dog out at feed time. In the meantime, I agree, call out "Hi, can yo uhold your kid? My horse is very nervous and I don't want anything to happen!" If they ignore you, stage two speech is "HEY! PLEASE stop your kid so I can move my horse somewhere safer!"

Stage 3 (defcon) is "STOP NOW!" at the top of your lungs.

[sublimequine]

From what I've read, I vote for you saying "my mare is not safe around children" or "she kicks". If even a model child that is acting appropriately freaks your mare out. Then the mare is the problem not the children. If I walked through the barn with my kids and you said "my mare is scared of little ones". I wouldn't expect them to get double barreled. I think for your safety and liability you need to be clear that she is dangerous, if she indeed is.

If a child with "horse sense" goes by her, ie isn't jumping around, being loud, etc, she will watch the child very closely, but is NOT dangerous. It's just the ones who are basically allowed to roam free through the barn and don't know how to act around horses that she really gets nervous.

I would love to desensitize her, but when the majority of the kids she meets are NOT horse-smart, it makes it rather difficult! I love love love kids who are taught the basic "dos" and "don'ts" around the barn. They make a positive experience for my mare, and if they come up politely and ask to pet her/feed her something, I can even let them do that.

So to the folks thinking I'm anti-kid, that's definitely not the case. I'm anti-wild-children-roaming-the-barn-because-their-parents-are-at-fault. :lol: The parents who come in, and tell their kids to WALK by my mare, not run, who remind their kids to be quiet around the horses, and who, if interested, ask me first before approaching my mare, that's just awesome. But those folks are in short supply around here. :no:

[Arizona DQ]

[QUOTE=Trakehner;4108824

As a wise person said, "If I wanted to hear the pitty-patt of little feet, I'd put shoes on my cat"[/QUOTE]


LOVE IT!!!!!!!!:lol:

[magnolia73]

Maybe you should just find a barn without children. There are barns that are adult only. Your other option- go when the kids aren't around.

My new barn has some kids that don't really think. They get excited and aren't experienced. They move quickly and nervously when not "running". They may be used to half dead schoolies who don't care.

I don't think it is your "technical" responsibility to insure kids don't get hurt. I mean, horse do things that hurt people. They are big and powerful. Even something as simple as stepping on your foot is painful. However, if your horse truly is frightened and unnerved by kids, and those kids are at a high risk of her kicking or striking at them, it is up to you to remove her from the situation. You are much better off assuming people won't control their kids and tacking up in a stall or changing your riding time, then dealing with some kid in ICU because your horse cracked them one.

I'll never forget- i was at a public park with my dog (on leash). Some woman comes down the trail and tells me to get my dog off the trail and secured. Her hubby was coming with their highly aggressive dog that would fight my dog. She was complaining about off leash dogs, dogs on long leashes.... when... well, really, yeah, not right to have an off leash dog... but the real problem is actually her aggressive dog who needs to not be at a busy park if so uncontrollable.

[sublimequine]

Maybe you should just find a barn without children. There are barns that are adult only. Your other option- go when the kids aren't around.

My new barn has some kids that don't really think. They get excited and aren't experienced. They move quickly and nervously when not "running". They may be used to half dead schoolies who don't care.

I don't think it is your "technical" responsibility to insure kids don't get hurt. I mean, horse do things that hurt people. They are big and powerful. Even something as simple as stepping on your foot is painful. However, if your horse truly is frightened and unnerved by kids, and those kids are at a high risk of her kicking or striking at them, it is up to you to remove her from the situation. You are much better off assuming people won't control their kids and tacking up in a stall or changing your riding time, then dealing with some kid in ICU because your horse cracked them one.

I'll never forget- i was at a public park with my dog (on leash). Some woman comes down the trail and tells me to get my dog off the trail and secured. Her hubby was coming with their highly aggressive dog that would fight my dog. She was complaining about off leash dogs, dogs on long leashes.... when... well, really, yeah, not right to have an off leash dog... but the real problem is actually her aggressive dog who needs to not be at a busy park if so uncontrollable.

FWIW, when I think the situation is actually getting dangerous (ie, kids are flying everywhere and maresie is about to blow), I remove her from the situation. Safety first.

[FancyFree]

It's just the ones who are basically allowed to roam free through the barn and don't know how to act around horses that she really gets nervous.

Yes those free range children are the ones that I have problems with too. :lol:

The suggestion of an adult barn is a good one. The place I'm at now has three kids, two are mine. Everyone else is over 30. The place up the street is probably 80% kids. There are place geared more towards the adult rider.

[sublimequine]

Yes those free range children are the ones that I have problems with too. :lol:

The suggestion of an adult barn is a good one. The place I'm at now has three kids, two are mine. Everyone else is over 30. The place up the street is probably 80% kids. There are place geared more towards the adult rider.

Luckily this barn is only my "summer home", and the barn I'll be going back to come August (next school year, I'm a college student) is mostly adults, I think. That would be a good question to ask the BO, I'll have to remember that. :lol:

[purplnurpl]

I'm afraid full immersion is the only solution for your mare. Invite all the neighbor kids over for a pasture party, give them balloons, set up a bouncey ball house thing, hire a mariachi band, feed the kids a bunch of sugary cake, ice cream and candy. Then a rousing game of pin the tail on that mare in the pasture! Or point to her as a living pinata and give the lunatic spawn each a carrot stick
:cool::D

OK OK everybody, lets slow down now, don't do anything drastic.

I can only comment on my experiences. I am terrified of children (I apologize to those of you who are parents for anything that may be offensive). I think they are the devil's tool.
Submerging me in the presence of devil tools only makes my phobia worse.

I don't have the Southern Belle sugar coating technique down very well. I would just yell, "I have to leave because my horse is terrified of children. Sorry."

It's like cows. No matter how long I live next to a cow farm I will never get over the cow fear.
I can't read their expressions and that scares the cr*p out of me. lol.
Same with my horse.

[psychurmine]

What training method are you using? Because what ever it is after all these years it's not working. I would switch to a new plan. Unless you prefer your mare to behave that way :cool:


Oh ya. This is the best response yet.
Maybe you need to have one of the scary children dangle a carrot stick in front of your mare. That would solve all of your problems.
:rolleyes:

[sublimequine]

Oh ya. This is the best response yet.
Maybe you need to have one of the scary children dangle a carrot stick in front of your mare. That would solve all of your problems.
:rolleyes:

:lol:

[Tiligsmom]

Offend them.
Yell at them to "STAY!" then explain.
It's a dangerous situation and you can't be sued for being a bicth but let your mare kick defensively at one of the little darlings and watch how fast you are slapped with a lawsuit.

BTW I don't think you should have to train your mare to accommodate out of control disrespectful children who should know better.

I'm assuming these children are not fellow boarders- tell them to 'get out' you are not paying xxx dollars a month to have your mare mauled by brats who don't have a right to be there.

I AGREE! Scare the pants off the kids so they think twice about coming close to you or your horse ...just as you would a hot stove! Kids that don't learn to respect large and small animals WILL GET HURT...bitten or kicked at some point. It's better they don't have to experience the bite or kick to learn it.

Clearly there are some parents who think it's your responsibility to keep their wild ones safe:rolleyes: Sorry, that's what the parents signed up for when they brought those buggers into the world.

[*JumpIt*]

Could you get a horse-savvy kid to act "un-horse-savvy" to desensitize your mare?

This is what I did when my mare was scared of people standing on the rail. I let her get used to people there then had them jump up and down talking loudly. Worked like a charm.

[Equilibrium]

I read the first few posts and got a little chuckle, not because kids could get maimed or killed, just because of the way Sublime Equine wrote the post. And I just needed a little chuckle. But then it went the way most posts do, south quickly.

My horses very rarely see youngsters so they don't have issues with them yet. Mostly curious as to see humans in "little form". And sometimes these visitors bring mints so the horsies tend to think them wonderful. How and ever, when they come to the barn their parents realize a horse could hurt or kill them and so the parents take precautions themselves without us having to say anything. I always hear, don't run and don't be loud.

And you know sometimes all the desensitizing in the world does not change some horses. Sometimes it can make things worse. If a horse does everything you ask of him/her as in leaving the place, showing, giving you a good day out why do you have to make your main focus one thing they hate? And can understand working on basics if they have a problem, but is it only me with who starts yawning with the step by step wonder instructions on how to make your horse used to everything because it has to be? I guess maybe I like quirky ones. Sometimes you just don't have to change a horse to make them work for you happily and for them to lead productive fufilled lives.

SE's mare has an issue with small unruly children. So what. The first time I ever set foot in a barn at 4 there were 2 basic rules 1) no running 2) no being loud and messing about. And barn manager or owner sure wasn't worried about my feelings or what my mother would say if I didn't follow these golden rules.

No not all kids are evil, most aren't. When I was a youngster at the barn rules were there for a reason and you abided by them no matter what. In this day and age it seems many kids do what they want with parents letting them do just that.

Terri

[horse-loverz]

____________:)
____~____/>_-|
_____//__\\___/\



_____________:confused:
____~____/o>_-|___\:D
_____//__\\____/\___/\
__________________"

Kid you better watch out....

________________\:)/ (Yeah.. horsie!!!!)
_________/O>_:no:__/\
____\____/____-|__"_
___oo|V||V__.__/\_.


Lady are you blind.. get your spawn away from my horse!!!!

_____________:mad:/______":D Oh schnookums... how sweeet you say hi
__~____/0>:D__|________| to that horsie!!
___V|__V|=/\___/\_______/\
________._"

_____Horsie!!!!!!


AAAAHHHH BAD HORSIEEEEE
:eek:<|=
____~_________:rolleyes:____\\:eek: SCHNOOKUMS!!!!
___<<\__/O>__\\|_______\
_______\\______/\______<\___
____________I warned you!!...


_________________

[Alagirl]

____________:)
____~____/>_-|
_____//__\\___/\



_____________:confused:
____~____/o>_-|___\:D
_____//__\\____/\___/\
__________________"

Kid you better watch out....

________________\:)/ (Yeah.. horsie!!!!)
_________/O>_:no:__/\
____\____/____-|__"_
___oo|V||V__.__/\_.


Lady are you blind.. get your spawn away from my horse!!!!

_____________:mad:/______":D Oh schnookums... how sweeet you say hi
__~____/0>:D__|________| to that horsie!!
___V|__V|=/\___/\_______/\
________._"

_____Horsie!!!!!!


AAAAHHHH BAD HORSIEEEEE
:eek:<|=
____~_________:rolleyes:____\\:eek: SCHNOOKUMS!!!!
___<<\__/O>__\\|_______\
_______\\______/\______<\___
____________I warned you!!...


_________________


**standing ovation**


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


You can always ask the kid in a stern voice: Did you momma teach you to be this rude?!

[sublimequine]

horseloverz, that was great! Definitely made me laugh. :lol:

[arabhorse2]

There is no promise in the Rules of Living that you won't be negatively impacted by the existance of children.

I agree with that. However, YOUR little genetic experiments should not have to be MY problem.

I don't believe in that "it takes a village" crap to raise children.

What it does take are responsible, aware parents who actually give a damn and are interested in turning their children into productive members of society.

Funny how so many people who won't take nasty behaviour from their horses, seem to think it's okay if their kids aren't held to the same standards.

[Ajierene]

I don't have this problem at home, mostly when I go to shows. I go to one day shows and my mare is tied to the trailer. I have been known to yell at kids running around randomly because it spooks my mare. She doesn't dislike children, just tends to be spooky to anything new and anything moving around quickly.

She has broken free of the trailer before. I don't care if adults roll their eyes or are rude to me-their children should know better. If a parent says something like a previous poster stated 'we don't say NO to our children'. I would reply with something akin to 'maybe you should start before your child gets hurt'.

Then again, it is easier to be rude when you don't have to see them every day. At home desensitization is hard because it is a quiet, backyard type barn. I love the atmosphere, but my mare does not get used to strange things easily. And I don't have friends with young kids, so there goes that.

If people want to pet her, I usually decline, saying that she is skittish and I don't want anything to happen. I was on a trail ride at Fair Hill and happened upon some summer camp or something. I let one come up at a time until she had enough, then I apologized, got back on her and continued my trail ride.

I would just suggest letting people know she's 'spooky' or 'skittish'. It warns people without putting any dangerous labels on your horse-then you can let the quiet kids say 'hi' to her and warn the other ones that they are scaring her.

[Alagirl]

I agree with that. However, YOUR little genetic experiments should not have to be MY problem.

I don't believe in that "it takes a village" crap to raise children.

What it does take are responsible, aware parents who actually give a damn and are interested in turning their children into productive members of society.

Funny how so many people who won't take nasty behaviour from their horses, seem to think it's okay if their kids aren't held to the same standards.


LOL, the 'it takes a Village' stems from those days when every adult was considered an authority figure, and you damn well did as you were told! :lol:

Kids only get dangerous once paired with cars or weapons... :winkgrin:

[Iropeum]

I agree with that. However, YOUR little genetic experiments should not have to be MY problem.

I don't believe in that "it takes a village" crap to raise children.

What it does take are responsible, aware parents who actually give a damn and are interested in turning their children into productive members of society.

Funny how so many people who won't tolerate nasty behaviour from their horses, seem to think it's okay if their kids aren't held to the same standards.

How pathetic. Do YOU have children? I must assume not, by your rude, hateful comments about them.

you were once a child yourself. I am sure you weren't born perfect, all knowing and behaved ALL the time:no:

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

One night I was riding Ted bareback in the outdoor. My trainer's grandkids (I think about 8 and 11 at the time) saw me and were hoping for a pony ride. She admonished them: "REMEMBER - NO!!!! running. Walk down the path."

Well, they're kids, and they got too excited. They ran down the path (out of sight of their grandmother) and burst through the brush, disturbing numerous chickens. All Ted and I knew was that the air was suddenly full of squawking chickens hurling themselves through the air right at us. We both jumped about 10 feet in the air.

Thank goodness we recovered, with no harm done. But it could have had very serious consequences. So I pulled the kids aside, and said, "Just imagine if this had been someone on a green horse. Or a horse afraid of chickens. Or a rider who was green. It could have been very, very bad." And there was no pony ride for them that night.

I know for a fact that the kids knew better. But they were kids, and they forgot. I can be magnanimous, I'm sure, because nothing happened (except for our hearts jumping into our throats!). It was a good lesson for them. And I did let Grandma know about it, in a nice way, because HER primary rule is safety first.

It's when the parents/guardian are dismissive about their childrens' actions - goes too for dogs (see other thread). Should you let your kids go screaming and running through hospital rooms? A courthouse? A museum?

I know it is sometimes difficult for children to understand that the rules are there for a reason, and it is not just a case of Mommy or Daddy being mean and unfair to them.

[SaturdayNightLive]

How pathetic. Do YOU have children? I must assume not, by your rude, hateful comments about them.

you were once a child yourself. I am sure you weren't born perfect, all knowing and behaved ALL the time:no:

Why should the rest of us have to put up with your badly behaved kids? Leashes are super cheap at Wal Mart. You chose to have them - you control them.

[Trixie]

I hardly think it's "pathetic" to think that it's important for parents to be responsible for their children.

[BuddyRoo]

DressageGeek nailed it. It's just about being responsible. My dog mention was just to illustrate that it was my choice to have a dog, bring a dog along, etc...and therefore, I should not infringe on others.

It's really about being respectful of others to me. I don't dislike kids.

[LexInVA]

Responsibility is like flatulence. You really should own up to what you've done. Even if it is unpleasant to do so.

[arabhorse2]

How pathetic. Do YOU have children? I must assume not, by your rude, hateful comments about them.

you were once a child yourself. I am sure you weren't born perfect, all knowing and behaved ALL the time:no:

What about being responsible for your children do you find "hateful" and "pathetic"?

Yep, I sure was a child at one point, and could be as bratty as they come. However, my parents made sure my brothers and I were disciplined and raised properly. We said "yes sir", "no sir", "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". Adults were NOT called by their first names, and any disrespect was immediately squelched.

I could have been a hellion, but wasn't allowed to be. Any child has that potential. Just not all of them are given permission to be.

If you're a parent who thinks your precious Snookums can do no wrong, and it's everyone else's fault if something happens to your child, then you're one of the irresponsible ones.

I have 5 brothers. They all had kids, and I babysat for them numerous times. 3 of my brothers and their wives raised lovely, well mannered children who have grown up to be (surprise!!!) lovely, well mannered adults. 2 of my brothers raised hell spawn. Nobody wants anything to do with those kids, now that they're adults. Gee, I wonder why?

I'm not saying that children shouldn't be allowed to play and act goofy. They're children; that's their thing. But there's a time and place for it, and if their parents don't set the ground rules, then whose fault is it when those children think they're entitled to do whatever they want, whenever they want?

[Ambrey]

Responsibility is like flatulence. You really should own up to what you've done. Even if it is unpleasant to do so.

And to continue the analogy, sometimes your best efforts can't stop it from affecting others, so you just hope they are understanding ;)

And if they are the type to stand up and scream "Whose little brat is making all that noise?" (which is the analogical equivalent to an angry "WHO FARTED?") you just shake your head and wonder how they manage in a world full of children and flatulence.

[DeeThbd]

Responsibility is like flatulence. You really should own up to what you've done. Even if it is unpleasant to do so.

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Iropeum]

Why should the rest of us have to put up with your badly behaved kids? Leashes are super cheap at Wal Mart. You chose to have them - you control them.


Firstly, I wasn't directing the question or comment to you, but since you so kindly butted in.... My kids aren't badly behaved, but they are kids. They run, they play, they scream, they forget the rules at times. I am always there to correct if needed to keep them safe. Their safety is my first and foremost concern. I do not expect anyone else to correct them or talk down to them if they screw up, if that happened, boy we'd have issues.

[SaturdayNightLive]

Firstly, I wasn't directing the question or comment to you, but since you so kindly butted in.... My kids aren't badly behaved, but they are kids. They run, they play, they scream, they forget the rules at times. I am always there to correct if needed to keep them safe. Their safety is my first and foremost concern. I do not expect anyone else to correct them or talk down to them if they screw up, if that happened, boy we'd have issues.

It's a discussion board - your statements will be read and responded to by everyone. Private conversations are for PM.

As for kids - if they run, play, and scream at the playground or in their yard - that's fine. At the barn? Not so fine. Unless you own the barn, you have no right to inflict your brats on the other people there.

[DeeThbd]

Children should be taught to behave around horses, but in the end they are children with short and often selective memories. As the horse owner it is your responsibility to make your horse safe, or move her to a barn where she will not be exposed to them.

If you had a dog who was known to bite, would you take it to the park?

Wait a sec....
If you had a dog that was known to bite, would you let kids into your yard? (interesting how the two situations require completely different actions on the part of the dog/horse owner)

If I understood the OP's original post, it was children coming into the barn that were scaring the mare, rather than her taking it places where there were kids. It's different if she is taking her mare somewhere where she is likely to encounter kids. Even so (now that I reread) - I have been to shows and had two preschool aged children wander up unsupervised behind my gelding at the trailer. Scared the daylights out of me - and I was very grateful that he doesn't spook easily as they appeared out of nowhere.
Dee

[Iropeum]

What about being responsible for your children do you find "hateful" and "pathetic"?

Yep, I sure was a child at one point, and could be as bratty as they come. However, my parents made sure my brothers and I were disciplined and raised properly. We said "yes sir", "no sir", "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". Adults were NOT called by their first names, and any disrespect was immediately squelched.

I could have been a hellion, but wasn't allowed to be. Any child has that potential. Just not all of them are given permission to be.

If you're a parent who thinks your precious Snookums can do no wrong, and it's everyone else's fault if something happens to your child, then you're one of the irresponsible ones.

I have 5 brothers. They all had kids, and I babysat for them numerous times. 3 of my brothers and their wives raised lovely, well mannered children who have grown up to be (surprise!!!) lovely, well mannered adults. 2 of my brothers raised hell spawn. Nobody wants anything to do with those kids, now that they're adults. Gee, I wonder why?

I'm not saying that children shouldn't be allowed to play and act goofy. They're children; that's their thing. But there's a time and place for it, and if their parents don't set the ground rules, then whose fault is it when those children think they're entitled to do whatever they want, whenever they want?

What I found pathetic and hateful was your comments about genetic experiments and your blind assumption of what its like to have to raise children and deal with their mistakes and behavior.

[Ambrey]

As for kids - if they run, play, and scream at the playground or in their yard - that's fine. At the barn? Not so fine. Unless you own the barn, you have no right to inflict your brats on the other people there.

Actually, my daughter has a horse at our barn who pays board just like everyone else, and has every right to be there. They do not have an age limit (actually, my barn is public, so anyone has a right to be there whether or not they own a horse). Not sure why you think you have any right to exist in a world without children. You didn't give your parents that luxury.

[EponaRoan]

LOL, the 'it takes a Village' stems from those days when every adult was considered an authority figure, and you damn well did as you were told! :lol:And back in the day if Mrs Smith* told your parents that you and your friends had been up to something naughty, you got a whupping because your parents believed Mrs Smith* no matter what lie(s) you might tell them about what you may or may not have been doing & didn't think Mrs. Smith* was an eeevil child-hating beeyotch from hell. :lol:

*Not her real name. No offenses to any Mrs Smiths out there real or unreal.

[Iropeum]

It's a discussion board - your statements will be read and responded to by everyone. Private conversations are for PM.

As for kids - if they run, play, and scream at the playground or in their yard - that's fine. At the barn? Not so fine. Unless you own the barn, you have no right to inflict your brats on the other people there.

Guess we BOTH should just be happy that we don't board at the same barn then. I am sure we wouldn't be BFF:lol:

[SaturdayNightLive]

Actually, my daughter has a horse at our barn who pays board just like everyone else, and has every right to be there. They do not have an age limit (actually, my barn is public, so anyone has a right to be there whether or not they own a horse). Not sure why you think you have any right to exist in a world without children. You didn't give your parents that luxury.

My parents CHOSE to have kids. I have not made that choice, so I have every right to not have to deal with your kids that you CHOSE to have. Well behaved horse savvy kids? More than welcome at the barn, obviously. Misbehaving screaming little brats with no parental supervision? Not so much.

[SaturdayNightLive]

Guess we BOTH should just be happy that we don't board at the same barn then. I am sure we wouldn't be BFF:lol:

Badly behaved kids don't belong in public. Period.

[amdfarm]

I'm afraid of children too. Have you ever noticed how sticky they are? And girls - what is up with little girls and glitter? And screeching? Screeching sticky glittery kids! Ack!

I have no idea how to help your mare - but I understand her completely. :lol:

OMG, LOL :lol: I'm so glad I had a boy! :D

I'm lucky in that all of my horses are used to kids and humans in general. I don't know that I'd have them if they weren't. Kids are great for desensitizing, too.

[Trixie]

I don't think most folks have been objecting to polite, well-behaved children acting conscientiously around their horses.

The objection has been towards rowdy, unsupervised children that don't belong at a barn, and parents that are not supervising them properly.

[Iropeum]

Badly behaved kids don't belong in public. Period.


Says the person who doesn't have kids. Kids misbehave, the difference is.. IF the parents are there to remedy the problem. For the UMPTEENTH time, my kids misbehave at times, don't know any that do not, but they are not badly behaved and they DO belong anywhere I damn well please to take them, be it the park, the barn, a horseshow, etc. get over yourself already.

[SaturdayNightLive]

Says the person who doesn't have kids. Kids misbehave, the difference is.. IF the parents are there to remedy the problem. For the UMPTEENTH time, my kids misbehave at times, don't know any that do not, but they are not badly behaved and they DO belong anywhere I damn well please to take them, be it the park, the barn, a horseshow, etc. get over yourself already.

Get over myself? I'm not the one claiming I have to right to do whatever I want wherever I want. I was taught respect.

[arabhorse2]

What I found pathetic and hateful was your comments about genetic experiments and your blind assumption of what its like to have to raise children and deal with their mistakes and behavior.

I raised my two youngest brothers. My mother became gravely ill, and my father worked, then spent his free time at the hospital with her.

I got a lot of responsibility very early on, so I'm quite aware of the mistakes, behavior, and just plain goof ups that happen with kids.

What I don't have any patience for are people who raise ill mannered pukes, and then expect everyone else to just deal with it.

If your kids are just being kids, then I'm fine and dandy with it. If they're acting like wild beasts and not being disciplined, then yes, I have a problem with it.

[JanM]

Unfortunately, there are some (a minority) of parents who for whatever reason think children don't have to behave, and raise the kids to think everything they do is good. The great majority of parents who want their children to grow up to be responsible adults make sure their kids behave, and worry about their children getting injured and try to protect them. Some people refuse to believe that anything bad can happen to their children, or to limit their behavior at all, and when something does they are the first ones to sue your a## off. You need to be proactive about warning people to stay away from your animal, or else some accident can ruin you financially--and I mean even bombproof, gentle animals. Everyone should also consult their insurance agent about the proper amount of liability insurance they need in case of an accident. Never forget about the thread we had a while ago about the little child that was apparently unattended and got kicked by a mule at the Horse Expo--any animal can hurt someone accidentally and you need to protect yourself.

And it's not only at the barn that I get irritated at uncontrolled children-when you go shopping at Walmart and can hear some kid shrieking all the way across the store about some toy or food they're demanding it's pretty irritating too (and it's really irritating when you realize it's your next door neighbor's eight year old who never stops shrieking). And I can't count the number of times that I've seen driving past store entrances (driving slowly and carefully) have to slam on their brakes because some tiny kid (who certainly isn't old enough to know better) dashes across in front of them while the parents are chatting away not watching them, or mom or dad is yakking on their cell phone and not attending to their child's safety.

[TropicalStorm]

Says the person who doesn't have kids. Kids misbehave, the difference is.. IF the parents are there to remedy the problem. For the UMPTEENTH time, my kids misbehave at times, don't know any that do not, but they are not badly behaved and they DO belong anywhere I damn well please to take them, be it the park, the barn, a horseshow, etc. get over yourself already.
Kids misbehave. They are kids after all. And if its a one time thing, where the parent is there to correct them, that's great. They learn. If its happens frequently, over and over again-like screaming kids in a barn, or kids constantly running around horses, then no, people shouldn't have to be subjected to the fact that parents can't control their kids.

It's the same thing with kids in a restaurant. If I go out to eat someplace, I sure as hell don't want to hear a bratty hellion screaming their head off because they don't get french fries. Obviously mommy and daddy need to have quite the little conversation with their child before they subject the public to them

[Saidapal]

Firstly, I wasn't directing the question or comment to you, but since you so kindly butted in.... My kids aren't badly behaved, but they are kids. They run, they play, they scream, they forget the rules at times. I am always there to correct if needed to keep them safe. Their safety is my first and foremost concern. I do not expect anyone else to correct them or talk down to them if they screw up, if that happened, boy we'd have issues.

Me thinks you are defensive because you know your little darlins' aren't the little angels you profess them to be.

I have nothing against kids, don't have any, don't want any, and don't feel like I'm missing out. I also don't get all gooey over babies. My mother used to say I was horrible, I think I just know what I want/don't want.

It always amuses me how I end up with kids talking to me at the stables. I'm like a kid magnet, and I think that's basically because I don't take their crap. You can act like a brat with Mom, but if your with me you can either listen or I'll send you away.

Kids are like horses in a lot of ways. They need to know the boundaries. Once they do, and YOU stick to them since you are supposed to be the adult and know better, then we all get along just fine.

[Iropeum]

Me thinks you are defensive because you know your little darlins' aren't the little angels you profess them to be.

I have nothing against kids, don't have any, don't want any, and don't feel like I'm missing out. I also don't get all gooey over babies. My mother used to say I was horrible, I think I just know what I want/don't want.

It always amuses me how I end up with kids talking to me at the stables. I'm like a kid magnet, and I think that's basically because I don't take their crap. You can act like a brat with Mom, but if your with me you can either listen or I'll send you away.

Kids are like horses in a lot of ways. They need to know the boundaries. Once they do, and YOU stick to them since you are supposed to be the adult and know better, then we all get along just fine.

Wrong. I am not sitting here sayin my kids are perfect. Well behaved majority of the time, we have our moments. My kids NEVER screamed at the top of their lungs anywhere, or threw tantrums in stores, if so, they would get my boot in their ass, and they know it. Just like my horses, dogs, cats..... I do not tolerate that from my kids.

[TaffyTowne]

I think kids need to be taught that being at the barn and around horses is a privilege that can easily be taken away if they do not behave appropriately. I love children, and can't wait to have my own so I can dress them up and put them on a pony :) but they will certainly be taught appropriate manners before they even set foot in the barn. I can guarantee you the unruly naughty ones act like that wherever they are, not just the barn. I also do totally understand that even the most well behaved child does have a meltdown every now and then, so try to give alittle bit of slack :winkgrin:

Just alittle picture proof that little ones and horse can co-exist peacefully

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31800579&l=df04a1b44e&id=12202328

(My 2 year old niece and my WB)

[xabbracadabra]

Wrong. I am not sitting here sayin my kids are perfect. Well behaved majority of the time, we have our moments. My kids NEVER screamed at the top of their lungs anywhere, or threw tantrums in stores, if so, they would get my boot in their ass, and they know it. Just like my horses, dogs, cats..... I do not tolerate that from my kids.

Well if you don't tolerate why are you making everyone else feel like they have to tolerate it? I think you have selective reading because everyone has said they don't mind kids if they are watched and punished when needed. Its the ones who run wild that no one can stand. Which of the 20 something posts did you miss that in?

[Parker_Rider]

However, YOUR little genetic experiments should not have to be MY problem.


This is one of my favorite comments!! This, JSwan and Trakheners... :D

I like my chickens and my cows to be free range.
Children should not be.

I still sympathize with the mare... if she's fine and wary around good children and ready to blow around the hellions... I'd say she's pretty damn normal!!! ;)

[Auventera Two]

Why should the rest of us have to put up with your badly behaved kids? Leashes are super cheap at Wal Mart. You chose to have them - you control them.

LMAO :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: The only thing that makes it better is when people have a whole litter of them - you know, at least 4 or 5 or 6.

if so, they would get my boot in their ass

We need a stick art for that! :eek: :lol:


However, YOUR little genetic experiments should not have to be MY problem.

I like my chickens and my cows to be free range.
Children should not be.


Some of the grandest coth quotes are right here in this thread! LOLLLLL

[FancyFree]

Funny how so many people who won't take nasty behaviour from their horses, seem to think it's okay if their kids aren't held to the same standards.

No, no, no. I respectfully disagree. It's the horse owners who let Pookie drag them all over the place, running into other boarders that don't discipline their brats. Cuz discipline is mean and all.

In my experience, if I met a rider with a well-behaved horse they generally had a well-behaved kid. My former trainer was someone who brooked no nonsense with any living thing, that included horses, dogs, husband and kids. :lol:

I always want my horse and my kids to be polite and respectful. Not impinge on anyone else's happiness or well-being. It's the selfish, lazy and clueless who don't bother to do this. As with horses, it takes a bit of effort to shape respectfulness and good manners. JMHO.

[arabhorse2]

Fancy Free, I stand corrected. ;)

I was actually thinking of some of the folks on this thread who keep stating that it's the horse owner's responsibility to train Pookie correctly, since it couldn't possibly be the shrieking childrens' fault!

My trainer sounds like yours. She has 3 children, one who is grown and away from home. The younger two are just normal kids, but when Mom says WHOA! everyone stops, 4-legged AND 2-legged! :lol:

[LexInVA]

I wonder what the title of the thread would look like printed on a sign outside of a stall. Wouldn't that be hilarious to see someone put that up at a show or something?

[arabhorse2]

The only problem with that Lex, is the people who really did have the ill mannered spawn would never think it was addressed to them. Selective comprehension, and all that. ;)

To be honest, I want my horses desensitized as much as possible, which is why I like having children around them. What I don't want around them are kids who won't listen when I tell them that horsie is getting ready to blow a gasket, and they need to get out of the way NOW.

Those are the kids who are most likely to get hurt, and as another poster said, have the parents who are the most likely to sue. Don't need or want those types of people, big OR little, around my animals.

[Sdhaurmsmom]

I think its stupid that you have to fill out a 9 page front and back form complete with background check, credit check, veterinary records on every past pet you ever owned, and 5 references to get a cat from the pound, but anybody with plumbing can breed and produce kids. What kind of world do we live in anyway? :no: :eek: If I were CEO of the planet, nobody would have a kid without training, certification, and testing first.

I'll second that motion. All in favor, say Aye!

[AnotherRound]

Once at the barn I was working on several fractious horses in the cross ties and underfeet and hanging from the rafters were a woman's two children,boy and girl, age 5 and 7, screaming and playing in the aisle. I yelled at them two times and they did nada.

When the woman came out from her lesson, she found her children in the hay loft, door closed and latched. It was safe there. I told them they were on time out and they could come out when their mother was done with her lesson and not before. When she did come out from her lesson, I told her it was the only safe place for them since they were unsupervised and the barn was a dangerous place. Yes, I got an earful, yes, I was not her BFF, nor did I come to the barn to be. My response was to shrug. I had told her where to find her children, and after that had nothing to discuss with her. I told the trainer/BO what they had been doing, and that perhaps it would have been better to put them in their car, but there was no way to lock it and ensure they would stay there and I wasn't a babysitter. I suggested to the BO that if I encountered them again, I would interupt their mother's lesson and hold her horse while she got down and dealt with them, if she would prefer. Barn owner laughed and said the hayloft was the best place for them and not to worry about it, that the mother was about as argumentative and unteachable as her children were and wouldn't be coming back. She said if anything like that ever happened again to come right to her and there endeth the lesson.

You wouldn't expect car mechanics to allow your kids to run around the shop, nor would you expect a dog groomer to allow children into the back wreaking havoc. If you can't control your kids, don't expect me to put up with them. My children or grandchildren are put in the car and taken home if they act up in public. Another time, we'll try again. Probably when they are older. I've left grocerycarts in the store, put back the toys were were going to buy, denied them the after shopping trip to the park and cancelled christmas, and stuck to my guns if they act up or act out in public. Not really cancelled christmas, never had to, but golly times were those kids thought the world had ended when I cancelled their fun and permission to be out in public because of their behaviour.

Until they were grown, I didn't get to have horse back riding lessons unless there was somewhere for them to be which was appropriate for their age. The barn wasn't it.

[LostFarmer]

This should be solved with a hand to butt conversation. Moms hand on kids butt. Short of that I would say your hand on moms butt. I have a litter of kids, 13, 11, 9, 7 and do not have a problem. You miss behave in public life will get ugly. I have hired a babysitter to leave the kids and then made the kids "pay" the babysitter in toys. I couldn't take you with me because of your behavior so you pay the sitter. Oh, you don't have money I guess you barter with toys. It worked and worked well.

We had some neighbor kids over and one was acting out. I told them to get their poop in a group and quick. I turn to leave and one of my kids turns to him and said I would do it. He means it.

LF

[vacation1]

Yep, I sure was a child at one point, and could be as bratty as they come. However, my parents made sure my brothers and I were disciplined and raised properly. We said "yes sir", "no sir", "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am".

I can't resist saying that every single rotten kid I ever met in my life has been a "Sir" and "Ma'am" kid. Eddie Haskel, if you will.:lol: So while I don't want a toddler addressing me by my first name, I also will yelp and climb a tree if a child ma'ams me. Bad experiences;)

My children or grandchildren are put in the car and taken home if they act up in public. Another time, we'll try again.

So simple, and yet so hard to execute, as I know from having dogs (no offense, parents, just that it's a similar philosophy of 'their brains are fried, time to go home.') I did hear a mom take her daughter aside at the library today to have a firm talk with her about screaming - perfect parenting, she removed the kid from the situation that gave rise to the screaming, gave them both privacy so as to not humiliate the kid and not annoy others, etc.

[AnotherRound]

How pathetic. Do YOU have children? I must assume not, by your rude, hateful comments about them.

you were once a child yourself. I am sure you weren't born perfect, all knowing and behaved ALL the time:no:


I have to say after reading this thread, there are about 50 percent or more of posters on it whom I would escort with their children off the property. Why people think they have a right to come and run roughshod over me and my environment, is beyond me. And if I don't suffer them and their spawn, I'm somehow deficient? And yes, I'll be rude about it. I haved kicked drunks out of my house at parties, with police escort if needed (not frequently in my life, but have done so) and I see no difference in banning irresponsible parents and their dangerously ill behaved children if they too are out of control.

I fact, that's a really good analogy. Badly behaved kids screaming and yelling in a horse barn is like having a drunk around. Unpredictible and dangerous, and he is perfectly free to stagger off somewhere else, as are you and your ill behaved children.

That's my feeling about it

[NorCalDressage]

Bwahaha!!!!!!!!!



Man, this is the best thread ever :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


Lex - I would like to put an order in for that sign!!!!!

[dghunter]

I'll second that motion. All in favor, say Aye!

Aye, aye, aye times a billion! lol. For the longest time my BO would not allow children at the barn. She tried to keep it mostly 30+ (not that all adults are perfect either of course ;)) She has since changed that policy but is still very selective about who comes in and has no qualms kicking people out who are problems or have problem children.

[Alagirl]

I can't resist saying that every single rotten kid I ever met in my life has been a "Sir" and "Ma'am" kid. Eddie Haskel, if you will.:lol: So while I don't want a toddler addressing me by my first name, I also will yelp and climb a tree if a child ma'ams me. Bad experiences;)

seems like you met my next door neighbor's kid. the 'good son' :lol:



So simple, and yet so hard to execute, as I know from having dogs (no offense, parents, just that it's a similar philosophy of 'their brains are fried, time to go home.') I did hear a mom take her daughter aside at the library today to have a firm talk with her about screaming - perfect parenting, she removed the kid from the situation that gave rise to the screaming, gave them both privacy so as to not humiliate the kid and not annoy others, etc.

I am tempted these days to walk up to those parents and hug there neck (no, not really, might get myself a top spot in the butt whooping line) and congratulate them for staying their ground, even in public.

[DeeThbd]

As someone who works with teens.....a sincere, heartfelt thanks to parents who are involved in their children's lives, who care enough to be fair and reward or correct as needed. Thank you for not pointing fingers at everybody else saying that it`s someone else`s fault for the way their child acts. NO is a very powerful word - it must be used judiciously not as a threat but as a boundary.
Thinking about what the best behaved kids I know have in common.....their parents pay attention to their kids for daily life - they WILL question if the kid says there is no homework or where they are spending the night on a sleepover; they have expectations, a values system, keep their kids involved in sports/community; there are consequences for good and bad behaviour; show and expect respect from themselves and others. Just like herd dynamics in horses....they eat together, play together, and live together. Take away those foundations, and the issues start.
It`s a lot like raising horses....too much ill treatment or too much unstructured treatment with no clear leader creates a flawed individual.

[Catersun]

I suppose maybe you could deal with it the same as a fear of plastic bags - "sack them out" (I'm imagining waving the baby around the horse, rubbing it all over them...) so they get used to them?? :D Only half-kidding, though. Has anyone "taught" their horse to deal with kids better than they used to?

I have... it involves a 5lb bag of carrots and a 2yo being held quietlyon my hip and feeding and brushing the horse with mommy and a wee little brush. My 17h TB who used to be quite the green eyed monster is rather fond of the kids now as they bring treats.. mom may not ride.. but she gets treats. When the weeest boy is who now 5 months would be at the barn in his sling she would gently nuzzle him in the sling.

I agree with the sacking out... but it needs to be the right kid and parent and you. If the girl and i were closer we'd be happy to help ya out.

[Denzel]

I totally agree about the trend for kids these days to be spoon-fed to an insane degree. I'm only 19, but I grew up in Romania. I KNOW I could be a rotten little brat at times, but my parents NEVER tolerated an outburst in public. There were rules, and if I didn't obey them, hell would be raised!

I have NO problem with polite children at the barn who know to say please & thank you and ask permission to pet your horse, say excuse me and so forth. However, I DO have a problem with people that expect everyone else to babysit little Snookums all day while s/he is running around the barn like a rabid raccoon screaming at the top of their lungs. I pay to come to the barn and enjoy my horse and ride, NOT to be stressed out by your little monster!!

I find that more and more parents are unwilling to say "no" because they want to be the "cool" parents and they don't want their kids to feel as "oppressed" as they did.

IMO, there is no need to be nasty or mean, but kids thrive on consistency and boundaries. Make clear rules and follow them ALL the time. If you obey the rules, life is good, but if you want to push the limit, you will soon find that those "fun" things really aren't as fun or as worth it as you thought!

[SBT]

Whoa, stop RIGHT there... :eek:

Kids running and screaming in the barn? I'd be on my cellphone to the BO in a SECOND, whether my horse was scared of kids or not. I would not confront the offending kids/parents myself; I would leave that to the BO.

If the BO dismissed the issue, or failed to stand their ground on such a HUGE SAFETY ISSUE, I'd move my horse. A. I do not want to be injured because unruly/unsupervised kids spooked my horse; B. I do not want my horse to be injured because of unruly/unsupervised kids; C. I do not want to be sued because my spooked horse kicked/struck/bit an unruly/unsupervised kid.

IMO, unruly/unsupervised kids are a deal-breaker at ANY boarding facility because of the danger they pose to themselves and others, and to the horses. Again, if something like this was not dealt with swiftly and decisively on the part of the BO (NOT the boarder, who PAYS for a safe place to ride and keep their horse!), I would assume the BO had no concern for safety and liability whatsoever, and I would be out the next day.

As Chocomare says, "Homie don't play dat." :no:

ETA: That the OP's mare is scared of children is really beside the point. Children have no business rough-housing in a barn. To suggest that the OP desensitize her mare and just learn to live with such disruptions is, IMO, ludicrous. She is a PAYING customer at that facility, and should be able to enjoy her horse without worrying about when the next tasmanian devil is going to whirl through the barn. Again, I wouldn't tolerate it for a NY minute!!!

[Iropeum]

My 4 year old is better behaved than ANY of the other kids that are at or come visit the barn. Why? Because her father and myself are very INVOLVED with her and teach her manners. My kiddo always asks before taking and says please and thank you. I don't force Yes ma'mm or sir stuff on her. Just be polite and respectful. She gets it.

Example.....
The other night BO's daughter and her little friend where playing around, they are 8 and 10 years old, my daughter is 4. Anywho... they start running amok in the barn aisle, granted, all the horses are in their stalls eating happily. The running and screaming phases no one. My little one wants in on the chase and begins running too, thru the feedroom, tackroom and down the barn aisle. All I had to do was snap my fingers and my child stopped while the other two kept raising heck up and down the aisle. She came back to me and stood next to me, no talking back, nothing. She knows better. We don't let her act like that anywhere, not at home either. Shes never thrown a tantrum like some kids I have seen. In fact if a kid starts going full on tantrum, throwing themselves on the floor at the grocery store, my kid looks at me and says "why's that kid doing that momma?" I don't get why some parents even allow that, they just keep shopping and ignore the screaming.... drives me nuts. So my kid made a boo-boo at the barn to join the others that were running the aisles, screaming... I corrected HER and she didnt get in trouble, cause she listened to me. She forgets once in a while "the rules" especially when other kids are the ring leaders


Some may ask, why do I bring my young daughter to the barn? Well, she has her own horse that we pay to board there, she has just as much right to be there as any ädult" paying board. However, if she acts like a brat, she knows that "right" will be taken away pronto. My BO has kids running around there all the time, neighbors kids, etc.... the horses are use to them raising heck in the barn, is it right? no. does it bother me, not really cause my horses are ok with it I don't have to worry about it.

[DeeThbd]

IMO, unruly/unsupervised kids are a deal-breaker at ANY boarding facility because of the danger they pose to themselves and others, and to the horses. Again, if something like this was not dealt with swiftly and decisively on the part of the BO (NOT the boarder, who PAYS for a safe place to ride and keep their horse!), I would assume the BO had no concern for safety and liability whatsoever, and I would be out the next day.
Amen. My old BOs were great people, and had a young daughter. You had better believe the day it was learned that their (under 10 y.o.) daughter and niece were trying to ride my mare, there were consequences pronto.... no bridle, no saddle, no helmets, no adults. She was a good mare and would not have done anything, but still....
Oh- the one that gets me? People who post saying `my barn, my rules.`Yes, it is your barn - and your boarders are paying to keep their horses there. With that privilege comes the reasonable expectation that they have some say in the conditions in which their horses are kept, no?
Dee

[BelladonnaLily]

Iropeum, every reasonable person knows that there are good kids and bad kids. And most reasonable horse people wouldn't use bad kids as an excuse for their ill-mannered nag to be nasty and dangerous. But on this board, those that hate kids outnumber those that don't (and for the record, anyone that knows me knows I detest truly ill-mannered children :yes)). They hugely exaggerate how awful these kids are...but the moment you talk about putting the hammer down on a rude nasty teenager, you get told that they are simply expressing themselves, or you're being too hard on them, or you just need to listen to them, blah blah blah...by many of the same people ;) :lol: I've watched it for years :lol:

[chaltagor]

This is a special horse with special needs. You cannot tell this horse to "get over it." But you can tell children to stay away and let them know you mean it. I've got an awesome "HEY" that makes kids pee their pants if they forget the rules.

[Lambie Boat]

I think it's hilarious that most everyone with kids who responded says their kids are very well behaved. It must be everyone else's kids who are lunatics!
:lol::lol:

p.s. no. it's your kids. really. please teach them manners (and that ain't about saying ma'am)

[Ambrey]

Actually, my kids have better manners than 90% of the adults they meet. Maybe the kids aren't the problem?

[Transplant]

I guess I've been lucky. I don't have kids and they annoy me easily but I've seriously not seen any trouble with kids at either of my lesson barns. The management may have problems with isolated kids but none that I have seen.

But these barns have strict rules about who can and cannot go into the stall area. Basically if you need to get a horse ready for riding or you're bringing him back, or checking up on your own horse, you can go in the stall area but otherwise the area is offlimits. Beginners or non-riding visitors are not allowed in the stall area under any circumstances no matter what their age.

So when you go back there, its pretty quiet and everybody is all business taking care of the horses. Forget about the horses, screaming kids running up and down the stall corridors would frighten me half to death.

[Sithly]

Actually, my kids have better manners than 90% of the adults they meet. Maybe the kids aren't the problem?

Yes, I agree its the adults sprinting down the barn aisles screaming and throwing things that are the problem. Definitely.



Jeez, people. Is there no middle ground? I'd say that yeah, you shouldn't have to deal with unruly kids, but you probably will at some point, so it's worth working on. Some of the crazy stuff kids do can spook even the best-trained horses; however, if your horse spooks at well-mannered kids, that's your problem and it needs fixing. There's a certain point at which you can't expect the environment to bend to your whims.

So in Sublime's situation, I'd probably desensitize the horse AND deal with the kids. It's possible to do both without traumatizing either. I've never had a kid respond negatively to a request to "help me train my horse." They seem to like being useful and have all followed instructions to the letter. I've had dozens of conversations like this:

"Hey, would you help me train my horse? Just ride your bike in that direction so my horse can follow you. Okay, now ride next to me. Okay, now follow behind my horse. Okay, now ride around in circles and scream like a lunatic, y'know, the way you were doing it earlier when my horse was freaking out." :lol:

Done some variation of it with a bike, a big wheel, an electric mini-atv, a dirt bike, a snowmobile, etc. In all cases, the kids were glad to help and I didn't have to yell at them to quit having fun. Win-win.

Sublime: you will get dirty looks for anything you say to anyone's kid. I once told a kid (nicely, might I add) not to touch an electric fence, and got a dirty look from the dad. Seriously! Would he rather let her touch the fence and get zapped?!

[BelladonnaLily]

[QUOTE=Sithly;4115001]Yes, I agree its the adults sprinting down the barn aisles screaming and throwing things that are the problem. Definitely.




No, I think it is the the adults that allow certain children to think that that behavior is acceptable. I personally think some children are brats and some adults are jerks. Probably 50% genetic, 50% environmental...who knows.

But I do know that if I truly had a horse that was such a warm loving wonderful creature as the OPs honestly is ;) but completely went apeshit whenever a child approached at any speed faster than a drizzle of honey on 30 degree day, I would tack it in its stall, or otherwise keep it in a safer location. Going apeshit because a child appears is NOT normal for ANY horse. The OP said that if a child went VERY slowly the horse MIGHT be okay. She didn't say it only freaked when children came barreling towards it throwing things and screaming. If a child really acts inappropriately, I'd cut the child off at the pass and then let the parent have it (and to protect myself and my horse I'd still do whatever it took to keep my horse away from the child). But if the child is simply skipping down the barn aisle and the horse freaks, put your neurotic horse in a safe place and get over yourself...it is you and the horse that have the problem.

slithly...I agree wholeheartedly with your ideas. We have a pony that is terrified of strollers...so instead of demanding that parents with strollers stay the hell away from my pony so he won't be traumatized :rolleyes: we have been known to park a stroller in the ring during lessons. Now, this created some interesting courses during my daughters lessons, but now he just looks, instead of trying to leave the premises. We certainly didn't want to have to desensitize him to this when he goes in the show ring and someone parks their stroller next to the in gate. :lol:

[Char]

I used to be uncomfortable around children, then I had one.........

Now, I'm still uncomfortable around other people's children, but now I have a mother-weapon......and I'm not afraid to use it!!!

I call it, "The Stare Of Death". I can aim that sucker at ANY kid and they always go scurrying off to Mommy away from the 'scary lady'. lol. Even if the stare alone doesn't stop them in their tracks, a very forceful "NO" along with it really does the trick.

Of course I'm a militant mom, but it's my kid that's in Boot-Camp. If he has ants in his pants and just can't help it, he get to go outside and start running laps. He's ready to sit quietly after about 5-6. lol