Please put us in your thoughts! She is gone RIP Paddy princess

[Rider in Training]

This is such a tough decision. My 30 y/o mare has been battling back problems since January 17- She had two acute episodes during which she came back from the field not able to stand without leaning on the wall- and walking totally crooked. The only way we got her better was to give her high levels of Dex (50mg 3x and then 20 2x) and have her adjusted. Since then (Feb) she has not been back to the field she was on stall rest for 8 weeks with daily walks. During that time-she started to walk crooked and lean on the walls 3 more times- pretty much every three weeks and every time it would take two weeks to get her better again. Altogether she got 15 chirporactic adjustments- some weeks 2 of them. The only way she got better was on daily bute and daily Dex (10mg) plus 3 additional shots of Dex every few days. I started her on U7 too so that we'd avoid ulcers- but then a month ago she started to have the thumps, and show signs of ulcers. Then we started her on omeprazole and electrolytes and after her 3rd out of 4 episodes of thumps I started her on calcium. We also tried to reduce the bute and dex to try and avoid these problems but she became obviously uncomfortable- didn't eat well looked very much down. So since she got another episode of the thumps anyway, we decided to resume the daily bute and daily dex. I thought that maybe we could maintain her- but when a couple of weeks ago she started to walk crooked despite the bute and dex I decided that I couldn't let her live like that. She goes out about 4h with my gelding in a small paddock- when she would love to be with her herd. She wouldn't be able to cope with the terrain in the big field and considering how she is scarred of my gelding (who is being very sweet) I think that she would be terrified of her herdmates. So I made the arrangments for this coming tuesday and decided to spoil her for two weeks while trying to get her to walk better to enjoy a bit more of the spring grass- And after 8 additional (20 mg) shots of Dex on top of her daily 10 mg and her bute- since friday she is looking better- just as I wanted. She looks forward to dinner and to me taking her to the best patch of grass on the farm for her daily grazing as well as for her daily grooming followed by her many treats. She goes out to the paddock willingly- yet she doesn't trot out or canters the way she used to do going to the field and just walks slowly around grazing.

One part of me knows that letting her go on tuesday, even though she looks better is the "right" thing to do for her- because I know from my experience since January that she will start walking crooked again and will need walls to lean on, because she is getting so much meds that it is only a matter of time before she colics or founder, because she has lost a lot of weight and pretty much all her hind muscle; most of all because she cannot be a horse, go to the field etc...

Then part of me thinks- well she is not depressed, she is eating and even if her life is not great- she enjoys our grazing sessions and her many treats why am I letting her go?

So please keep Paddy and me in your thoughts- it is such a tough time and such a hard decision- I want to do right by her!

[FlashGordon]

Sounds like you are making the right choice, though I know it must be difficult.

Will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs.

:sadsmile:

[crewgirl34]

Then part of me thinks- well she is not depressed, she is eating and even if her life is not great- she enjoys our grazing sessions and her many treats why am I letting her go?

You're doing it because:
a) You know she's not going to get better
b) The high doses of meds are just masking the real problem and making her last days pleasant.
c) You know you can't keep her on the high doses of meds forever
d) It's better that she goes out with peace and dignity rather than from colic, founder, can't get up, cast in a stall, etc.

As the saying goes, better a day too soon than a minute too late. You know it's time, she's had a good life, you're giving her a pain free and happy couple of weeks, and then letting her go quietly.

[Bayou Roux]

As the saying goes, better a day too soon than a minute too late. You know it's time, she's had a good life, you're giving her a pain free and happy couple of weeks, and then letting her go quietly.


Well said. Big hugs to you at this hard time.

[mustangtrailrider]

This is the most difficult thing as caretakers of these magnificent beasts to do for them. It is our responsibility. It is our duty.

This is the most difficult part of caring for them.

TAKING THEIR PAIN AND MAKING IT OURS!!!

Your heart will ache as you take her pain and make it yours.

The painful part of making this decision is knowing that you are taking her pain. You are taking her pain and making it yours.

Once she is at rest and pain free, she will truly be free!

My heart goes out to you. This is a very difficult and painful time.

I am so sorry.

[talkofthetown]

So sorry that you're going through this. It's part of falling in love with a horse, though. Others have already said what I was thinking much better than I could've written, so I'll just send ((hugs)). I agree that you're doing the right thing. Enjoy these last times you have with your girl. Hang in there.

[Buffyblue]

I know how difficult this is, and I really feel for you. Hugs.

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

France, I am so, so sorry. Big cyber hugs coming your way!

I have hesitated to ask about Paddy...but this is what I feared.


If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here.

[tikihorse2]

***HUGS***

I'm so sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

[Rider in Training]

Thanks for the support- i know "this it be right" I wanted her to feel better to enjoy the grass for a little bit-I got my prayer answered, I know that it won't last- I'd give it at most one week before she starts being in pain to the point of walking crooked or leaning on the walls-that's one week ON meds- and then I would hate myself that I have to put her through that again until I get the vet out. She has become very cudly in the past week- which is not like her: she is a stubborn, demanding chestnut mare, well...normally she is- so I feel that it is the right thing to do- she knows. She is no longer fighting- she is surviving or just living- which doesn't mean that she doesn't enjoy her treats!
It is never easy, is it?

[Rider in Training]

She is gone- she was spoiled to the end with all her favorite treats- she went down peacefully. Although it was very sad, it was the right thing to do- she went pain free.
RIP Paddy, I hope you are running the fields with Benja boy

[Jessi P]

So sorry for your loss - RIP Paddy. Hugs to you in this difficult time.

[cheryl ann]

((((((Peace))))))

[jengersnap]

Hugs and sympathies RiT. You did the right thing :sadsmile:

[LouLove]

She is gone- she was spoiled to the end with all her favorite treats- she went down peacefully. Although it was very sad, it was the right thing to do- she went pain free.
RIP Paddy, I hope you are running the fields with Benja boy

Hugs and Godspeed lovely mare. You have so many beautiful ones welcoming you.

LL

[trubandloki]

Godspeed Paddy.

So very sorry for your loss.

[bayou_bengal]

Rider in Training, I am so sorry for your loss, but want to let you know that you did the right thing for Paddy. Though I don't know you, I can empathize with you because, I recently had to make the right decision for my chronically ill 19 year old mare. Lakota was such a sweet girl, I'm sure she welcomed your Paddy when she crossed.

Parting with a horse is never easy, but giving them a peaceful end to their pain when we know it is the only way the pain will end is our final act of love.

You have my sympathy.

[chai]

Dear Rider In Training,
As the owner of a 35 year old who is starting to show his age, I feel for you having to make such a difficult decision. I'm glad your old gal went quietly, with treats and love right up til the end. I always think that it's the way I would want to go...a bag of M&Ms and the people I love beside me. :-)
((Hugs)) to you at this sad time.

[mustangtrailrider]

May dear Paddy rest in peace. May her human find comfort and a peaceful heart knowing that she gave the greatest gift of all to her dear friend, Paddy.

HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

France, I send you big hugs and as always, a shoulder to cry on. Ted sends the biggest muzzle kisses ever.