Your top 3 goofiest, tell-on-yourself things you've done trail riding

[katarine]

1- did a long mid summer trail ride from barn overland to the river and back. Crossed several roads. Got too hot and dehydrated and had to flop on a log by a road and let the group go ahead to the barn, and come back and get me with a truck and trailer. The guy who came for me tossed Jake on the trailer and I swear hit 80 on the backroads. I was about to pee my pants and I figure Jake hung on with his teeth. Should have found a way to cowgirl up and just make it back on the horse ;)

2. Riding Pecos in MT, camera in one hand, reins in the other. This horse ALWAYS dumped a new rider, once. Came to a log he could step over, he deer jumped it. I was cackling before I hit the ground ;) camera survived and that was the 1st and last such event.

3. did a back to back bareback challenge on a whim. Put a girl on my horse facing forward, I was backward. She got worried and wrapped her legs round him tight. Understand this was a very sensitive, big, silly horse. He coiled up like a spring, and bounced along like a roan rabbit- we made it, we survived, but I'm not sure HOW I didn't get bucked off!

your turn ;)

[jazzrider]

I can only think of two right now, but I'm sure I have more!

1) On a group trail ride, I was seriously over medicated -- had an allergy attack the night before and took something that morning, then two hours later decided it wasn't working, and took something different and stronger :rolleyes:. I was in a fog, and miserable, but went on the ride anyway because we had committed to it. About half way into the ride, Luke tripped in a bog, but didn't go down or anything. I just plunked off of him into the mud like someone had shot me. I was so miserable I just laid there. Lukey put his big old head down and nudged me. "Mom, what are you doing down there?" Yeah, everyone thought that was really funny. :o

2) Went riding on my crazy OTTB Zack years and years ago with my hubby and a friend. The sun was setting, so we stopped on the edge of a field to enjoy the view and chat. A rabbit came around, hopping towards us. We admired it, as it came closer. It hopped right under my OTTB, amusing us, but then spooked and jumped up and hit him in the stomach. Zack crow hopped up into the air about three feet, then had a little bit of a fit, trying to buck. As I tried to get him under control my Hubby and friend were cackling so hard that the friend had to come down off his horse. They laughed all the way back to the barn, and enjoy telling that story to this day.

[Bank of Dad]

We were in Gunpowder St. Park, never having ridden there before, although my horse had. We were out all day, totally lost, it was getting dark. I was ready to call hubby and tell him I'd be home in the morning, and just spend the night out. We finally saw a man walking, asked for directions, and found out our trailer was parked 5 minutes away. Boy did we feel dumb.

[CosMonster]

1. Tried to lead a horse across a narrow stream. She jumped it, aiming to land right where I was standing (who could have foreseen that! :rolleyes:) I slipped in the mud getting out of her way and she landed directly on top of me. Then I had to ride 8 miles back to our trailer all bloody and covered in mud with one leg severely bruised on the inside of the thigh and very little use of my left arm, all because of something I know better than to do.

2. Rode out across the plains when an electrical storm was blowing in. I saw it coming and still went out, thinking I could beat it. Yeah, I couldn't. I spent about an hour hunkered down in a hollow as lightning flashed all around. Not fun at all.

That's all I can think of right now, I know there are others but I'm pretty tired. I'll edit my post if I remember any more.

[matryoshka]

I decided to tighten up a western-rigged girth from the wrong side while mounted. We'd been riding for a couple of hours and then took a break for lunch. I put the girth back on the same hole without thinking about it and mounted back up. I reached down and checked the girth, realized it was too loose, but was too lazy to get off to pull it up. I chose the off side because that would even it out. Dumb move. I got the buckle out of both holes, but before I could get the buckle seated, my horse started to walk, then trot, off. I had the reins in one hand, the end of the rigging in the other, and no way to tighten either. So I jumped off. The saddle never moved. Why was this embarrassing? I was the trail guide for a ride-a-thon, and some of the riders were watching me. They all had a good laugh. Why was it so stupid? The horse was an OTTB with a history of leaping around and bucking. What was I thinking?

The rabbit story had me in stitches. I wish I'd been there. What an image!!

[BeaSting]

Friend and I had missed a turn on our way to a judged trail when the friends we were following outdistanced us and we lost sight of them on the road. We arrived a bit late, but the organizers told us that our friends had told them we were on our way, and that if we saddled up quick enough they'd go ahead and send us out. We did and they did. We were going along nicely, when we started encountering riders coming down the opposite way. Oops. We find out we're riding the course backwards. Oh well. We decided that rather than go back, we'll just go on and enjoy the ride. We go by several of the judging points and get scores. We cheerfully greet and wave at all the other riders as we pass them. Everything is going great until we finally encounter a pair of riders taking down the trail markers. They assure us that if we just keep going we'll find our way back with no problem. Huh. It seemed like we were riding forever, and we finally end up in someone's back yard. We get proper directions, and are finally met by a "search party" who escort us back. Thankfully three wrong turns were enough for one day, because we got back home without getting lost.

[busterwells]

You all might think there is something wrong with me after the first couple, but here it goes:

1. I have to first explain that we don't usually drink at our stables, but we do have a few planned barbeques, where we pull out the beer. So, one evening we all gather and have some food and a few beers. Well, all the sudden, someone thinks it would be great to go on a midnight ride and bareback to boot. So we all tack up, minus the saddle, and I go on my very spunky POA that I have a hard time slowing up even with a saddle on. Well, one lady says to me "I am so impressed what a good rider you have become and bareback too" , well, that was a jinx because just then my horse lounged forward to go up this tiny hill and I seriously rolled off the back of her, knocked the wind out of me and hit the top back of my pelvis so hard, I was sure I broke it. Coundn't get back on the horse and could barely breathe and had to walk her a really long ways back to the barn with everyone following behind me on their horses. Lesson learned: Don't drink and then ride bareback in the dark!!!!

2. Years ago we had a really odd lady running our stable, never a dull moment. Lets say she was really "interesting", used to clean stalls and walk around the barn barefoot. Well, one day she tells all of us girls that we have never rode until we have rode barefoot ( and I mean us the people not the horses). So for some reason she talks us into this. By the middle of our rip roaring ride that she is leading us on, I am in some serious pain, with blisters on the inside of my feet, forming huge bubbles on them. By the time I got back to the barn, there is blood dripping down my feet. (At this point in my life I was not a good enough rider to pull my feet out of the stirrups and ride without them). I could not put shoes on my feet for a week without grimacing in pain. Lesson learned: If is sounds dumb, it probably is!!!

3. I go on a Competitive Trail Ride years ago, with the same "interesting" lady as in number 2. I cannot even go into detail about some nutty things that happened just getting there. I got chosen to ride in the truck with her and pull all our horses in a big stock trailer. Anyways we get started a little late, and she comes riding up next to us on this CTR, barefoot (herself), bareback and riding her horse with just a bossal. Which she had never rode this horse without a bit and decides to try in on this ride. I knew this would not be good. Oh did I mention the daisy duke shorts and the low cut top? Well, not five minutes into the ride her horse who is leading (we are traveling on the ride together with about 8-9 riders) comes running back toward all of us in a snit, the lady comes off her horse, the horse runs her over and she is bleeding everywhere. She gets back on her horse, screaming and beating the horse silly. I am horrified. Alot of the same keeps happening for the next half hour and I can't believe what I am witnessing. Then about another 30 minutes later, her horse steps in a mud hole with a bee's nest in it and flips out. ( I didn't know there were such things) She comes off her horse again and breaks her arm and is a mess. THe horse is running wild through the woods and I jump off my horse to try to catch hers. Well, then the horses behind us step in another bee's nest in the mud, they all flip out and I lose control of my horse. I am now chasing 2 horses. When all calms down, I call the emergency number on the map and have this lady and her horse picked up and drove back to camp. After she left us, we had a beautiful ride and all was calm. Lesson learned: Get rid of the insane people in your life.

[Auventera Two]

Well, I think I did it yesterday. :dead: :lol: Riding with a friend on a very rocky/hilly trail. I got off to tighten my girth (Bob Marshall binds up when you try to tighen from on top - have to get off every time.) To get back on, I ooooched the horse up next to a steep embankment. I climbed the embankment which was tough because it was slick and loose and the footing kept tumbling out from under my feet. So finally I just heaved and hoed and flung myself up with all the force I could muster............and I went right over the other side. :eek: I have NEVER done something so dumb! Oh my! I laid on the ground laughing until I had a cramp. My friend was laughing so hard she was gasping for air. We were at that stop for 20 minutes because we could NOT stop laughing enough to be able to ride. I cant remember the last time I laughed THAT hard for that long! :eek: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I just remember thinking - oh my god, I'm going right over! I can't believe this. Oh man......good times!

[matryoshka]

In Busterwell's post, I misread "odd lady" to be "old lady" and was trying to picture the Daisy Duke shorts and low cut top. Sometimes being dyslexic adds a bit more spice to an already interesting tale.

So far we have the killer rabbit from Monty Python and Daisy Duke. Oh, and A2 the stunt woman. ;)

Great thread!

[tabula rashah]

1. Good friend and I are moseying on the down the trails that we ride all the time- horses on a completely loose rein. I was in front and I was turned around in the saddle talking to her behind me and not paying a bit of attention to where I was going. My horse hops over a little log in front of us that we always hop over and I come off. Wouldn't have been so bad except that we were right next to the river bank which I rolled down and into-Friend is laughing so hard she can't get ahold of herself to help me up- Horse is watching me like" you dumbass, what are you doing down there?"

2. I'm out with a big group of people at one of the League of Maryland Horseman rides. We stopped for lunch and when I went to mount back up, I hear the tell-tale rip- you guess, ass split totally out of my jeans. We're of course about 2 hours out still and I have to ride half-bare-butted the rest of the way. Did I mention it was November??? And of course I ended up with precarious blisters... sigh

I'll have to think about what the third one will be.....

[DistanceHorse]

1. I was at the Rabbit Run LD 30 this March and on the morning of the ride I got all my gear ready-my new gear included GPS for my horses-just in case I fall off and they run away. The ride is in the NJ Pinelands and every trail looks just like the next one with little differentiation-About one mile after the start my friends horse spooked and then my horse Luke spooked and we both came off. As we dusted the sand off our butts we saw the two Arabs running off into the distance-Luke in the lead looking back over his shoulder as he trotted then gleefully cantered away very happy to be rid of me. I turned to my friend and said-guess what? I forgot the GPS Zoombacks back at the trailer. I also forgot to put boots on Luke and my GPS watch. My 9 year-old riding her 4 year-old AQHA stayed on with no problem. Fortunately two amazing volunteers found our guys and led them back to us. We went back to the point where we fell off and continued the ride.

2. I was at the Foxcatcher LD and as I was driving home from the ride I had an epiphany-Wow-good thing we didn't fall off. I remembered my GPS watch and the boots and the Zoombacks but I forgot to turn the Zoombacks 'on'.

[twofatponies]

These are brilliant. I haven't had that much "fun" on any rides. Nearest was when we decided to "bushwhack" back to the farm up a steep hill through the woods. I was on a new horse who was a bit impatient, so I had my head down to stay under all the tree branches, but then I couldn't see much because of my helmet visor. I heard a huge crack and something stabbed me in the back, but I couldn't stop the horse - she was cranking up the steep hill. When we finally got to the top I discovered I'd snagged a six foot long dead branch. One end had stabbed through my shirt and caught there, the other end was hanging off the back of the dear mare's rump. Took some gymnastics to get it out of my shirt, which had a lovely hole in it.

[suz]

my friend and i went in on the biggest camelback backpack the store had so we'd have plenty of water for long rides. it was my turn to carry it and it was not only full of icey water, but all of the pockets were crammed with snacks and emergency stuff, cameras, cell phones, etc.
it was heavy! but we were happy and riding along until i had to stop to pee--yup, had a pocket with toilet paper and a ziplock, we were that prepared.
so when i was ready to mount up again, i led my trusty steed to a good sized log and heaved myself into the saddle. but the weight of my stoopid camelback threw me off enough so that i ended up heaving my whole self entirely over my horse and onto the ground beneath her. she just sighed, looked at me like i was a complete idiot and stepped very delicately over my face to nibble on something. good mare!!!

[SarahR]

I can think of two. One was last fall when my husband and I were riding in a high mountain basin. It's known for it's mud bogs, and earlier that ride I had made some comment about what kind of person gets stuck in a mud bog. Later that day we went off trail to see if we could scare up some grouse. Found ourselves wanting to cross a meadow that had a big bog in the middle. (Flashback-what kind of people get stuck in a bog?) There were higher dry places where the elk had made trails. Fine. I put my horse behind hubby's and get distracted messing around with my camera. My horse will follow just were hubby's does, right? Ha ha.....wrong! She thought better of that and decided to take a 'short cut' right into the mud. She was flailing and lurching out of it when I came off, somehow I had the good luck to hold on until she was almost out of the mud and I landed on dry ground.

The other time wasn't my or my horse's fault. We were on a trail that we've ridden dozens of times behind our house. I'm chatting away with my friends when suddenly a force grabs me and pulls me off my horse. Sitting there in the middle of the trail I realize that an oak bush had latched onto my sleeve and hadn't let go!

Sarah
www.fourcornerstrails.com