in the catagory of " I should not tell this on myself but..."

[Tamara in TN]

ok so at the risk of the whole Internet thinking I'm a bigger dumb-butt than I actually am ;) I'll tell it...

as the mares/fillies go out of the indoor arena in the evening (where they stay out of the flies and sun) we have a sort of an assembly line...the two female children fetch them one at a time...about 9 mares in all...they bring them up the aisle to the tack room where Mama waits with the Wipe oil rag..

and we pat and say hello and go over the ears/face and down the legs and down the belly/udder (HELLO LADIES) ,back leg, off side and repeat and a pat sends them out for the night to the pasture...reload the Wipe rag...repeat

so anyway tonight about mid way thru the mares my 11yo says "gosh mommy they sure are shiney"...I pay no attention and stay on the assembly line...on the LAST mare (Calvins mule actually) I notice that I have been loading my blue Wipe rag liberally with the look alike bottle of Freibergs leather oil....:o:o:o:o:o well at least maybe they are slick coated enough for the flies to miss the runway....

best

[appaloosalady]

Too funny! :lol: It makes me admit to the time that I grabbed a can of Cool Lube from under the bathroom counter (hubby had used it on his hair clippers) and sprayed it on my hair because I thought I had grabbed my hairspray :eek::lol:.

[rideagoldenpony]

That's hilarious, Tamara!!! :lol:

[atr]

My old man came hobbling in from the muddy pasture gushing blood from a nasty over-reach yesterday morning. I hose his legs off, dry him put him in the cross ties, get the clippers out and start clipping away to get the hair off from round the wound.

All the time, as I'm down there clipping away, I'm thinking "you are such a good old boy. If only all horses were as tolerant as you of having their booboos dealt with... Your little brother would be dancing on my head by now..."

Eventually, I realize I'm clipping the wrong foot.

[amdfarm]

Classic Tamara! :lol::D:lol::D

At least you weren't cleaning tack w/ the fly stuff!! ;)

appaloosalady and atr. FUNNY!! :lol:

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

if it worked...compare the prices!!!

Bet they smelled better too!

[Puddin Pie]

I have grabbed the show sheen and done the same thing'--"why isn't this flyspray working?!"' Duh. Also, not horse related, when I was a teenager, I accidently grabbed the noxema toner instead of the mouthwash in the cabinet-both were blue. Bad, bad mistake!!!

[pines4equines]

Arh, arh! At least it wasn't anything lethal!

[Dressage Art]

ditto to show sheen instead of fly spray = my saddle was slipping all over the place afterwords! Had to re-wash my mare!

[Nootka]

lmao:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: this is great

[dalpal]

Well maybe this story will make you feel better.

I'm at a horse show..husband runs home to get battery for camera. I'm in high gear running around. I have no watch, I use my cellphone for the time.

Husband calls about 30 minutes later...I am talking to him and realize that I'd better see what time it is...Start feeling around in my pocket...and say.."Damnit, now I can't find my cellphone"...completel silence (I guess he was waiting for the punchline)..I start walking back, retracing my steps..when he says...YOURE ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek::eek::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That has to be my all time Darwin award winning moment.

[amdfarm]

dalpal, OMG :lol::lol: priceless.

[TBDQ0328]

I'll admit that I did the exact opposite....I went to oil my bridle and kept thinking that the stuff smelled a bit funny - got about half way through cleaning before checked the bottle and I realized that I was rubbing Repel X concentrate all over my leather!!! Opps!!!

[snkstacres]

This had me roaring. I love the cell phone faux pax and must admit to one of my own. Upon leaving a restaraunt, all of us are checking our cell phones for missed calls. I redial the missed number on my phone not recognizing the number. When the party answers, I ask how I can help them assuming it is a rescue call. My ex- sister in law is laughing beside me and says really I cant since I am sitting beside her already. I heard her answer her phone with a hello but didnt realize I was calling her. Talk about feel stupid.

[hipy]

Well maybe this story will make you feel better.

I'm at a horse show..husband runs home to get battery for camera. I'm in high gear running around. I have no watch, I use my cellphone for the time.

Husband calls about 30 minutes later...I am talking to him and realize that I'd better see what time it is...Start feeling around in my pocket...and say.."Damnit, now I can't find my cellphone"...completel silence (I guess he was waiting for the punchline)..I start walking back, retracing my steps..when he says...YOURE ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek::eek::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That has to be my all time Darwin award winning moment.


HAHAHA you aren't alone. I am a teacher and was talking to hubby packing up to leave for the day. As were talking I said "I gotta GO, I can't find my phone and I can't leave without it"! I put it down walked around for a sec. then realized what had just occured.

[tabula rashah]

LOL! these are great.
So I think I'll have to tell on DH from the other day.
I went riding with a friend and told DH that I'd call him when I was loading up to come home so that he could be ready when I got there (we had a wedding to go to and I was cutting time really close).
I knew he'd be out in the garage fiddling with his race truck so I must have told him 10 times to take his phone out with him.
Well, I got back from the ride, loaded up and called him. No answer. Tried several more times, no answer. All the time I'm thinking Dammit he didn't take the phone out with him.
I get home and he says why didn't you call me? I say I did, several times, but you didn't answer. Did you forget to bring the phone out?
He says "no its right here" and picks up the TV remote- LOL!! totally priceless

[RileyMonkey]

Well, looks like I'm in good company.

I have searched for sunglasses for 20 mins before realizing I was holding them.

The best was my sister, friend and I used to trailer out together and always had to stop and open/close the gate at the barn when coming/going. We enjoyed teasing my sister by then locking the doors and slowly rolling forward and giggling until we finally let her in. It was funny until we were really tired one night and actually left her at the gate. Oops. She's a forgiving soul. :yes:

[Amwrider]

At least you weren't cleaning tack w/ the fly stuff!! ;)

:lol:


Shyly raises hand....I did that once, at a horse show. I grabbed the bottle of RepelX instead of the Leather conditioner.

[horsesarelikepotatochips]

I had a bee in my room one day (allergic), went downstairs, grabbed the bee and wasp spray, came back upstairs and hit the sucker with a shot of it. Usually they take a minute to drop. This one dropped to the windowsill immediately after being hit. I looked at the can. I had grabbed the 3M adhesive spray by accident. Worked just as well...but it sucked wiping it off the window.

[BasqueMom]

HORSES,

Hair spray works well on them also and easier to clean up than the adhesive spray! :)

[Cielo Azure]

Things I do that are just stupid.

Sunday, we back a horse and my husband decides she would be more forward if I quick saddled up another mare and we rode together (an old trick that works great). I rush into the tack room (I am wearing cut-off shorts) and make the decision that I will put my tall boots on without breeches as I don't want to go to the house to change. 90 degrees out and as soon as I do it, I know I am in trouble. The boots seem to mold themselves to my skin and as I ride, my calves swell more and then... I swear, my top layer of skin was ripped off when later I had to brace myself on the couch while my husband tried to hank the boots off of me...Note to self, always wear breeches when when wearing tall boots.

[soccermom711]

I've done so many silly things, I've luckily managed to erase the majority from my memory bank. :lol: Just this weekend, I too was talking on my cell phone when I said to my daughter as we were getting ready to leave the house, "hold on a minute, I need to find my phone". Duh. Sunglasses have been on my head or hooked in my shirt as I searched frantically for them. And then the grand finale, Saturday afternoon, I drove away with my cell phone on top of the car. Since I ALWAYS imagine I've forgotten it, I started searching for it about 2 minutes into the drive, and hoped against hope that I had just left it at home. We turned around, started driving back, and there it was: already smushed.:o in the middle of the road.

The stupidest thing that comes to mind that I've done with horses recently, and I'm sure there are more, happened 2 years ago. It was one of those moments that makes you feel absolutely sick with shock that you could actually be that dumb. :eek: My SO of a year (at the time) and I, had spent a year rehabbing a horse that we "rescued" (he would have been put down due to a lack of understanding of EPM). He was finally in great shape and ready for his first race. He's a smart, classy guy and since we had spent considerable time bringing him back to health, we were very attached and very excited about his prospects in this race. It was a beautiful summer night on the backside. SO was cleaning the stall and I said I'd take him out for a walk. We were having such a nice time, that when we got to the training rings, I decided to put him in one and turn him loose for a few minutes to stretch out -- we do most of our training at the farm, so he's used to be turned out and I felt sorry for him that he was stuck in a stall on the backside for a few days. Bad, bad idea. Remember how I said he was smart???? While I, apparently, have blond moments. What I did not realize was that there are TWO openings to these rings. TWO. :( The second one is a chute of sorts, that was not obvious to me in the dark and I had never noticed it in all my other times by. He, on the other hand, found it almost immediately. OMG. I almost had a heart attack. He trotted right out and up towards the barns. About that time I hear them announce over the loudspeakers "loose horse the backside". :no: At this point, I'm thinking SO is going to kill me. Thankfully -- my smart buddy trotted into a nearby barn and paused in the aisle way. I slowly approached him and he easily let me catch him -- he looked at me like "what's the big deal?". Remember, he was in tip top shape and bursting with energy -- I could not believe I was not still chasing him frantically around the backside!!! I must have thanked God a million times AND my horse, as I walked him back to the barn. However, when I got there, I could not bring myself to fess up. :o My SO said "did you hear that announcement about the loose horse?". I'm like: yup, sure did. lol. Never said a word. ;) I finally did come clean a few months ago, and we had a good laugh. That night still haunts me though because of how bad it could have been.

Oh well, live and learn, I suppose.:D

[Trevelyan96]

Well maybe this story will make you feel better.

I'm at a horse show..husband runs home to get battery for camera. I'm in high gear running around. I have no watch, I use my cellphone for the time.

Husband calls about 30 minutes later...I am talking to him and realize that I'd better see what time it is...Start feeling around in my pocket...and say.."Damnit, now I can't find my cellphone"...completel silence (I guess he was waiting for the punchline)..I start walking back, retracing my steps..when he says...YOURE ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek::eek::lol::lol::lol::lol:

That has to be my all time Darwin award winning moment.

Dalpal, don't feel bad. I remember running around one morning frantically looking for the keys that were in my hand.

[Linny]

Dalpal, don't feel bad. I remember running around one morning frantically looking for the keys that were in my hand.

I do that every morning leaving for work! Once I discover that I'm holding the keys I forget to grab the phone off the counter.:lol:

[jengersnap]

My SO said "did you hear that announcement about the loose horse?". I'm like: yup, sure did. lol. Never said a word. ;) I finally did come clean a few months ago, and we had a good laugh. That night still haunts me though because of how bad it could have been.

Oh well, live and learn, I suppose.:D


Shiiiiivers. :(

[dalpal]

Hey Soccermom.....this didn't happen to me personally..but..

Every year they have a dressage show at Pinehurst, the stabling is adjacent to a golf course.

Apparently, late one night at the horse show...a particular horse let himself out and went on a joy ride on the golf course. The people who were in the barns doing late night feedings, were all scrambling trying to catch this wild horse....then the owner, realized it was hers. She apparently "helped catch the horse" and never said anything about it being hers. :lol:

Of course, it came out later when the horse was in HER stall.....the golf club sent her a bill in the mail...if I'm not mistaken it was around 4000.00. :eek:

[arena run]

Well, cell phones I can understand... was on the phone to my mom on the cordless, talking about needing to call someone, had been walking around the house hunting the phone as we continued talking, and then finally said, "I've GOT to go... I need to find the phone."

Yeah... I think those are fairly common.

One of my worst so far was carrying my 4yo daughter around piggy back in Wal-Mart. My mom and I had been shopping for, oh, two hours. I've been carrying Mamie on my back the whole time. Suddenly, right in the middle of the grocery gathering, I stop dead, totally beside myself with horror, and gasp, "Momma!!! Where's Mamie!!!????!!"

That's bad enough... but my mom, responding to the utter horror and urgency in my voice, and looking straight at Mamie on my back, her eyes bugging out equal to mine with the fear that possibly she shouldn't believe what she sees before her very eyes, gasps back "She's on your back!!!!" sylvia

[snkstacres]

heheh the sunglass story reminded me of probably the stupidest move I could make. I had my first ever brand new car. I went to work in the daylight with the car but home in the semi darkness. I get home and I am upset, the headlights dont work properly. they are just plain ole dim. I go into the house and get my roomate out to come and check this out as well. A brand new car with faulty headlights. So, I am dimming and brightening trying to get my roomate to see what I see or dont see better yet. Suddenly he says, Lori, take your sunglasses off. did I ever feel stupid. Lights were fine after that fix LOL

[soccermom711]

Hey Soccermom.....this didn't happen to me personally..but..

Every year they have a dressage show at Pinehurst, the stabling is adjacent to a golf course.

Apparently, late one night at the horse show...a particular horse let himself out and went on a joy ride on the golf course. The people who were in the barns doing late night feedings, were all scrambling trying to catch this wild horse....then the owner, realized it was hers. She apparently "helped catch the horse" and never said anything about it being hers. :lol:

Of course, it came out later when the horse was in HER stall.....the golf club sent her a bill in the mail...if I'm not mistaken it was around 4000.00. :eek:


Wow.....my mishap was minor, huh? ;) I bet a horse could do ALOT of damage to a golf course! :eek:

[CanterQueen]

Sort of off topic, but I remember a particularily nasty lady spraying Show Sheen ALL OVER her mare prior to tacking up. We tried to explain to her that she should not spray anywhere near the saddle or girth areas and got her usual snotty response.

I must admit it was a bit fun to watch her and her saddle slide off the mare in the middle of the outdoor arena. No injuries other (hopefully) than her ego. ;)

[jengersnap]

Anyone else point the key fob ("door lock clicker") at cars/trucks that look like yours in the parking lot and wonder why the heck your vehicle won't unlock? There's a truck that looks *just* like mine, save it's a quad cab and I've an extended, that is always out there after my chiro appointment. I frequently clicker that truck and stare at it in frustration when the lights don't blink and the door doesn't click. :no:

My missing sunglasses are frequently on top of my head as well.

[KitKat987]

Although I have many that I have successfully blocked from my memory, one blonde moment in particular has remained in my memory. In fact I don't think I've ever told anyone about it before....

17 years ago, just after getting my driver's license, I was on my way out to the barn one day. I'm driving along and I realize something is wrong with the car. It's revving really high and not shifting gears. Great, the transmission is toast I think. My parents were not home and it was before the days when everyone had a cell phone. So being a new driver I was rather upset about it and close enough to my brother's house that I decided I would stop there and see if he could check it for me.

I pull up, park the car, knock on the door, no one's home. I decide to head home. I'm not going to head out of town with a car that is stuck in 1st gear. But low and behold, the car is now shifting just fine. It took a few minutes but eventually I realized that the gear shift had not been in 'D', but in '1'. Doh!

All I can say is TG my brother wasn't home, I'd have never lived it down.......

[BuddyRoo]

I got a new vehicle in December. A little silver SUV.

I decided to drive back home to Iowa before Christmas and was in the mother of all blizzards...I had spent about 8 hours in the car already and was totally frazzled from being blown around, seeing several major pileups on the interstate, etc. So when I finally stopped at a gas station after getting through the storm, I was a nervous wreck.

I pumped gas, went in for a potty break, but when I went back out to leave, I started walking over to another SUV. Didn't realize it until a gentleman said, "Ma'am, you're at pump 6." Holy crap. I hadn't really paid attention to what my car looked like up til that point as I just parked in my regular spot at work and always approached it from behind. Felt like an idiot.

As for horse related stuff....when I was a kid, I had a little pony that I was pretty proud of. One summer day, I gave her a bath, sprayed on the showsheen, got on and rode her bareback down the road to my mom's friend's farm. Had a glass of lemonade and then in effort to be super cool and show off my horsey skills for a grownup, I went to swing a leg over and get on bareback....and kept on going over the other side landing squarely on the ground. Now THAT was brilliant.

[soccermom711]

Maybe it's because I know myself so well, for the past 14 years, I've routinely checked and double-checked that I have all my kids with me when we're in the car. It didn't matter if I had one child or three, I would get 5 minutes down the road and check again. :D

To keep it HR, we cannot have cats at the barn, because of the Malamute. So when my kids convinced me two adopt to cats, they had to be in the house. They routinely make me feel stupid.:o They've been closed in the linen closet, refrigerator, kitchen cabinet and between the front door and screen door. Anything you open for even a moment is an opportunity for them to jump in and make you crazy. The kids and I are now constantly on guard for missing kittens or the sounds of meowing from somewhere:confused:

The female kitten is approximately 9 mos old -- she's small, agile and smart. The male is approx 8 mos old. He's a Garfield wanna be. Can't jump very high because his belly is too big. He eats scraps with the dog out of the dog's dish -- the kitten is the one growling the entire time.:cool: Anyway, now that spring as arrived, last weekend I woke up in the middle of the night and my room was really hot and stuffy. Naturally, I opened a window. In the morning, my 9 year old daughter comes in and says "Mommy, why is Boo (female cat) hanging out the window?" Oops. I didn't realize the screen was up.:yes: (Don't worry - I'm on the ground floor -- it's not a long drop:cool:). Because Boo is agile and coordinated, she did not fall out of the window when she jumped up and encountered no screen. Tommy (male cat), on the other hand, was not so lucky. After fruitlessly searching the house, we quickly determined he had jumped right out the window. After a very short search outside, we found him hiding behind a bench by the front door. :D Apparently, he was not fond of his little adventure away from beds, blankets and lots of food, because he won't even let the kids carry him near the door now.:lol:

[Rubyfree]

Anyone else point the key fob ("door lock clicker") at cars/trucks that look like yours in the parking lot and wonder why the heck your vehicle won't unlock? There's a truck that looks *just* like mine, save it's a quad cab and I've an extended, that is always out there after my chiro appointment. I frequently clicker that truck and stare at it in frustration when the lights don't blink and the door doesn't click. :no:
.
Or pointed the clicker at your house door? Yep. I'm awesome.
My first car was one of the old dodge neons, and at the time there were about seventeen gazillion neons on the road. There was a rumor flitting about that there were only three or four key shapes for neons. I did not believe it until the night that I walked out of a store, unlocked a black neon, sat down, started it, looked into the rearview to back out and realized that my dog wasn't in the backseat. Yep, not my black neon.

And HR, last week after my lesson I walked up to the desk where I leave my keys, dropped them into my helmet with my gloves, picked up my helmet and proceeded to wander about the barn for 15 minutes. The twelve year old girl tacking up finally took pity on me and said "Are you looking for something? Can I help?" And I said "I don't know where I put my helmet! It has my gloves & keys in it!" while gesticulating wildly with the hand that was.... holding the helmet. No wonder kids think everyone over 20 is senile.

[kypeep]

Buddy of mine once got all loaded up to go to a horse show. Drove about 10 miles down the road, looked around at his passengers, and said "Hey, who put the horses on?"

Needless to say, he now checks the horse compartment before he pulls out of the drive.

[caradino]

i'm glad i'm not the only dumb one here.

i used to work at a small backyard barn where the turn in/turn out proceedure was to just let all the ponies out of their stalls or open the gate to the field and let them run loose to either location. the entire property was fenced in, and the horses knew the routine, so this worked well 99% of the time.

except one night.

when i forgot to close the main gate before letting ALL EIGHT HORSES out of their stalls to be turned out for the night.

i soon found myself near tears, chasing 8 horses through neighboring feilds at night, carrying a bucket of grain and a flashlight. which i promptly dropped. thankfully the barn owner wasn't too mad, and helped me round up the horses, who ended up not getting lost or hurt, THANK GOODNESS!

[2DogsFarm]

Horse-related:
Go on a horsecamping weekend 3h from home, unload trailer and find I left my girth at home. No spare.
Fortunately a friend with me had an extra that fit.

Non-horse-related:
DH used to occasionally come up behind me in traffic and gently tap my bumper. I'd furiously look in my rearview to see what kind of A**hole had rear-ended me and see him laughing his a** off.
Tried this once myself on a friend with a new car.
They did not seem to see the humor...

[Fireangel]

My grandmother used to ask me all the time where either her teeth or her glasses were. I would always tell her that her glasses where on her face and her teeth were in her mouth!

[soccermom711]

I have waaaaay too much material for this thread.:lol: Thanks for brightening my day at work.:cool:

Caradino - the SO and I have a little "code saying" to diffuse the tension when we do something stupid with the horses at the barn. The first time it was said, it was said by him in anger.:mad: Within 24 hours, I was saying it to him. :yes:

I was turning the horses out, and we do not yet have the front gate finished. This means, if they get loose, they are off to the neighbor's fields, and worse case scenario, the track itself.:eek: Everyone was cooperating, except for an 18 hand TB who decided he didn't want his halter on. I couldn't reach high enough to argue with him about it, so I thought I'd teach him a lesson and take him out last. :no: Turns out the tall b*stard can push under the stall "chain" if you leave the stall guard undone. Within seconds he was running free and we were thinking we were NEVER going to catch him. :( SO turns to me and says "How did that happen?". I'm trying to quickly explain and he all but shouts at me "Been around horses much?":confused: Luckily we caught him in a short time, and even luckier for me, the exact same thing happened to him the next morning with his yearling.:cool: HA!! Of course, I had to ask "Been around horses much???":winkgrin: I know it's hard to believe, given all I've posted on this thread, but I actually get to say that alot more than he does!!:winkgrin:

[skykingismybaby1]

I work in a city about an hour train ride from my town. Commuting becomes a habit.

One evening I left work and about 30 min into the train ride I remembered that I drove to work that day!!

Argh. waited 30 min for another train back, 30 min ride and then an hour drive home. ,

[Sakura]

I have been halfway to a show two hours away before realizing that I packed everything but my show clothes... saddle, check... bridle, check, horse, check... coat, breeches and the rest... MIA...

[eventersmom]

A friend of mine was over helping me figure out a problem with our electric fence. I was crouching on the ground removing a small tree start that I thought may have been interfering with the fence.

I started feeling unwell. Very unwell. Dizzy, fuzzy headed, a bit nauseated, but I kept working on the fence. My friend came over and I said, without looking up, "You know, I don't feel well at all. As a matter of fact, I feel awful."

Without missing a beat my buddy said "Darlin', maybe if you'd take your head off that electric fence and didn't have all that voltage runnin' through your brain you'd feel a little better." And I did feel better! But really, really embarrassed!

[cnvh]

NHR but one of my favorite idiot moments...

A friend and I were driving along a back road in the boonies a few years ago; it was winter and there was a good bit of snow on the ground. We passed a state police patrol car on a pull-off; the cop had pulled over to "laser" for speeders, and he had gotten himself stuck in the snow. So my friend and I (we were young, maybe 20-21 at the time) decided to do the right thing and go back to help the cop get un-stuck.

Cop was very appreciative for the help; he instructed me ("the girl") to get behind the wheel and give it gas while he and my friend (big guy, looks like a linebacker) went behind to push. (Okayyy, I'm a little freaked out to be driving a cop car, but sure!)

So the cop and my friend are pushing, and I'm laying on the gas. Engine's revving louder and louder and NOTHING'S happening; the car isn't budging an inch. My linebacker-friend was pushing so hard from the back that he actually put his hand THROUGH the cop car's taillight, shattering it. (Oops!)

After a minute or so, the cop comes around to the front of the car. "Ma'am, do you have it in DRIVE??"

(Ummm... In my defense, that was only the second time I'd been behind the wheel of an automatic transmission. I'd learned to drive a stick, took my driving test on a stick, and yes, I'm probably the only person with a drivers license who DOESN'T know how to drive an automatic.)

[bascher]

I can admit to one as well..when I was really young..probably around 8 or so, we were grooming horses for camp. I groomed my friend's pony, made her beautiful and shiny, and put her back in her stall. About half an hour later, my friend comes over, smells her pony, and asks me if I used the spray on tack cleaner instead of Show Sheen....:D