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Chylli
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:11 AM
If you had a trainer that was the best in the area. I mean you couldn't find any better with in a 2 hour drive. Would you put up with the drama and have a great trainer, or would you ride alone or find a lesser trainer with no drama?

QHmom
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:14 AM
drama is everywhere!!!! If the trainer is doing thier job with you and your horse, then deal with it and stay...if trainer is not getting job done then move...drama is drama and everywhere!

theroanypony
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:15 AM
My barn has quite the bit of drama. I ignore it, try my hardest not to get involved, and enjoy having an amazing trainer. :D If the trainer is that good, it's worth putting up with the head ache of drama. Edit; the drama at my barn is mainly just teenage girls being, well, teenage girls. My trainer is never part of the drama. Don't know if the question was about drama from the trainer, or barn drama in general.

findeight
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:20 AM
Depends on what kind of drama? Can you be more specific?

Unfortunately, my experience with the drama queen trainers has been the drama spilled over into their professional lives and a few were financially irresponsible or involved with a partner/boyfriend/husband that was and it created problems and tension in the barn

Happened to me about 3 times and I left all three times. Friends in similar situations ended up leaving as well.

There is just no need for most of it.

jeta
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:20 AM
I suppose it would depend on personalities and how the drama unfolded.....

Are you talking about boarding with this person, so every time you go to the barn, you are subjected to drama?

Or are you talking about trailering in for lessons, where you only have to deal with the drama of the week?

IME, you can only get sucked into the drama if you let yourself.....

gg4918
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:29 AM
I think that as long as you distance yourself from the drama that it should be ok. Just dont talk badly about anyone, be curtious and polite, help out, get a good rep and you'll be fine. Sometimes a little drama can be interesting as long as you're not part of it.

Chylli
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:30 AM
I suppose it would depend on personalities and how the drama unfolded.....

Are you talking about boarding with this person, so every time you go to the barn, you are subjected to drama?

Or are you talking about trailering in for lessons, where you only have to deal with the drama of the week?

IME, you can only get sucked into the drama if you let yourself.....


Your right, I let myself get sucked into it. I don't want to spill all the details, cuz the others might be on here. I just feel like the spark to do well is fleeting fast. It's not all about me in my lesson anymore, and it should be, cuz that's what I'm paying for.

I guess I need to take a big girl pill and just tell the trainer to drop it or I need to move on.

findeight
Apr. 23, 2009, 11:38 AM
I just feel like the spark to do well is fleeting fast. It's not all about me in my lesson anymore, and it should be, cuz that's what I'm paying for.

I guess I need to take a big girl pill and just tell the trainer to drop it or I need to move on.


Yeah, you do. The trouble with this kind of drama is it ruins your barn experience and it's just too expensive to pay for somebody else's problems dominating time you are paying for.

Very unprofessional. And I can assure you, if she is acting like this, she is not the best trainer anywhere around.

Equitate.
Apr. 23, 2009, 12:20 PM
There's always drama- no way around it, you pretty much just have to deal.
Distance yourself from it & keep to yourself if necessary.
It's funny, since I'm a junior who moved to an all adult barn, I thought "Hey, at least there's no drama!". Yea, not so much.

If your trainer is involved and it's taking away from the training, maybe you should move. If it's just other boarders, or an obnoxious barn manager or owner, stay. So long as your horse's care doesn't suffer, and neither does your training, who cares?

MILOUTE55
Apr. 23, 2009, 12:23 PM
Drama... like gossip and all?! I love that :D
I guess we all do if we're reading this thread :)

kdriding
Apr. 23, 2009, 12:24 PM
Been there, done that. Thought I had the best trainer for my daughter until I became her personal scape goat/whipping girl. Well, put an end to that right then and there. Fired her on the spot, and it was the best thing I EVER did . You are a paying client period. If the time you are paying for is being eaten up by the trainers drama, talk to her about it. If things don't change, move on. Good luck. Sometimes changing trainers feels like getting divorced. :sigh:

gottagrey
Apr. 23, 2009, 02:32 PM
have to agree on depends on what kind of "drama" there is drama that involves gossip and clients - which can be fun, but can also be hurtful and mean; or drama as in trainers personal life - which could mean financial, emotional, relationship/love-life, drugs/alcohol which could ultimately NOT be a good situation.

Pally
Apr. 23, 2009, 02:44 PM
I agree with the others who say, if you are in horses, you will have a hard time escaping the drama (unless my idea for Barn Drama Queen island commune comes to fruition. It would be where we send the worst offenders from all of our barns....there the crazy BOs and trainers could cater their services to their equally crazy boarders. Perhaps crazy people horse shows could be run too) However, if you are smart you can try to avoid it, even if sometimes you must let a person rant and gossip while you nod your head and wait for an opportunity to change the subject. It sounds like the latter might be what is happening in your case. If so, I think it's worse that a trainer would do that (rather than just a fellow rider), as it perpetuates that atmosphere in the barn - but again that may just be an unfortunate trade off. However, it also sounds like it is cutting into time you pay for, which IS a problem. Maybe a talk to her about it will fix that problem, and you can continue comfortably, even if not pleased with the atmosphere. But if not, then yeah...time to look at other options.

cloudyandcallie
Apr. 23, 2009, 02:49 PM
You had better find a big island.

Giddy-up
Apr. 23, 2009, 03:57 PM
I can honestly say there is no drama in our barn. And that is because the trainer keeps it that way. I have been told that if drama is happening it's quite possible you will find your horse tied to the fence waiting for you in the driveway. ;)

I have been in barns with drama & trainers who create drama or encourage it by not stopping it. That's no fun. It's too expensive to pay this much not to have fun & the barn be another source of stress.

Parker_Rider
Apr. 24, 2009, 09:14 AM
drama is everywhere!!!! If the trainer is doing thier job with you and your horse, then deal with it and stay...if trainer is not getting job done then move...drama is drama and everywhere!

Oh drama... always there... if it doesn't affect you, then bury your head in the sand and focus on your horses, your riding and the good times at the barn... I'm not saying don't care about your fellow barn mates, but if there's excessive crap, then ignore that. But sometimes drama can be entertaining as long as you're just a bystander ;)


Depends on what kind of drama? Can you be more specific?

Unfortunately, my experience with the drama queen trainers has been the drama spilled over into their professional lives and a few were financially irresponsible or involved with a partner/boyfriend/husband that was and it created problems and tension in the barn

Happened to me about 3 times and I left all three times. Friends in similar situations ended up leaving as well.

There is just no need for most of it.

And on the other side,like findeight pointed out, if the trainer is bringing drama into your life and not doing her job... LEAVE. It WILL get worse, the quality of the training will start to deteriorate and ultimately and paramount to anything else, your trainer will start to miss things pertaining to the health/safety of your horse. This has happened to me, and let me tell you... if you let it get to that last point, you won't ever forgive yourself... (yeah, sorry, still jaded and bitter. starting to get over the last of it, though, haha! ;))
My wonderful current trainer, however, knows to leave me out of anything that doesn't directly affect me. If I want to know the latest on something, I'll ask a friend.

mrsbradbury
Apr. 24, 2009, 09:20 AM
If you had a trainer that was the best in the area. I mean you couldn't find any better with in a 2 hour drive. Would you put up with the drama and have a great trainer, or would you ride alone or find a lesser trainer with no drama?


What precisely do you mean by lesser trainer? Lower level shows? Dangerous practices? Smaller barn? Less clientele? Young? new business? Green horses?

How do you know they're lesser? Have you ridden there? or have been told so?

I do not tolerate drama, I don't share personal garbage with my clients during the time they are paying for. I do not tolerate innappropriate behavior in the stable, the arena, or at a horse show.

If this experience is dirtying up your barn time, maybe you should trot on down the road and audit some of these "lesser" trainers' work. I bet you find they're not as bad as you thought. (If they are... then my apologies for your wasted time.)

findeight
Apr. 24, 2009, 09:46 AM
Disagree drama is unavoidable. Yeah, you get a little emotion sometimes, thats human, but the heavy duty drama? NO.

The really good trainers simply do not allow it to get started among the clients and do not allow any personal problems to spill over into their client relationships.

Past experience has included deteriotrating relationships with trainers who whine and complain about personal problems, boyfriends, financial problems, health issues-on MY TIME and MY DOLLAR. I just do not tolerate it.

Have to say, with most of these? There was either a bad relationship with abusive so/bf/hubby/family that resulted in trouble for clients-like being locked off the property in a divorce dispute. Or substance abuse including perscription pain killers and one place that was running drugs.

Barn I have been in since '95 tolerates no drama other then a few snippy 14 year olds once in awhile or a dominating adult. These are only allowed to go so far and then trainer has a chat with them. Has kicked them out on occasion.

A little drama is human, heavy drama always gets worse and leads to more trouble down the road. If it's coming from the trainer-get out.

2mnyponies
Apr. 24, 2009, 10:05 AM
[. Sometimes changing trainers feels like getting divorced. :sigh:[/QUOTE]

I am so glad someone else feels this way! We have just gone through leaving one & the stress has about done me in.

eggbutt
Apr. 24, 2009, 12:02 PM
This is an interesting thread....I absolutely agree that More-than-one-person-in-a-group = drama. To what degree depends on you. If you're paying your trainer, their time is yours for the time you're paying them. Period. End of discussion. Before you fire them I would have a nice respectful chat with them though.

On the other hand, trainers also do not need to put up with drama from their clients however tempting it is to stand and gossip/chat rather than instruct the rider. Most trainers I know are extremely professional and keep the lesson on topic the entire time. Some trainers are also friends of their students and that's when drama can spill over into after training time so to speak.

Before you head out to what you're calling a "lesser trainer" (what DOES that mean?), you owe it to your current trainer to discuss your feelings if you've been successful with that trainer and would prefer to stay with them.

Pirateer
Apr. 24, 2009, 12:50 PM
Every barn has drama.
Every single dang one.

The question is to figure out how much you have to be involved in the drama- can you keep yourself out of it (although surrounded by it?). If so, stay with the BNT.

RumoursFollow
Apr. 24, 2009, 03:40 PM
I dont put up with drama between my customers. We board at a barn where 19 of the 24 stalls are occupied by myself and my customers, and the only drama that happens in the barn is between my customers and the non-customers who are there. Not because we dont share the facility well, but because well.. they are just hard to get along with. And its really only one person with only one horse, and she's been thrown out of every other barn in the area ;) so she is currently harrassing us. I have a set of rules I pass out to people who ride with me and one of them is "no drama, no competition between riders, parents (and that can be a big one), or anyone else" If it starts, I snuff it out quickly. No one is in a position to want to lose their stall in the barn so they behave. I often tell people proudly that we are a drama free zone. I'm not hard to get along with, I make sure to be as upfront about my expectations as possible, and I find this generally works to my advantage.

Seven-up
Apr. 24, 2009, 04:25 PM
Well, there's drama and then there's DRAMA.

I am familiar with both. Client drama is one thing, but trainer drama is something else. And when it's trainer DRAMA...well, I say that as long as people keep paying someone like that, they will continue to think it is an acceptable way of doing business.

Sometimes the drama sucks you in no matter how hard you try to avoid it. And it's not because you are a willing participant, it's because trainer is flinging sh!t in all directions and doesn't care where it lands.

I worked for a sh!t slinger. It was ALWAYS something. The kind of person who just wants people to look at them, and they don't care what those people are thinking when they stare, mouths agape. Screaming matches in the horse show parking lot, hey, it didn't matter, EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO I AM NOW!!!:rolleyes: This person happened to be a very good rider. Not a very good teacher, but good rider. But trust me, that's not what the person is known for. It's all the antics off the horse that people remember.

Get out while you can. Nothing will change. There are people who act like adults. There are drama-free places, or at least places with the kind of drama that you enjoy.:winkgrin:

Chylli
Apr. 24, 2009, 04:28 PM
I thought a lot about what everyone said. I agree with a lot of it. I was trying to figure out a way of being more specific without letting on whom I was. I think the other people post and read this group so I don't want to make it worse.

So, my trainer goes to a few barns in our area. I was at a barn with some other people and we had a falling out. No fault of mine, they were really off the charts mean. I know there are two sides to every story, but please believe it was not me who started it. They then left and went to the other barn where she goes. After this happened I was so distraught I think I cried for about a week straight and felt horrible. This happened two years ago. This trainer now wants all of us back at the same barn because she doesn’t want to commute.
The feeling is totally mutual, I don't like them and they don't like me, this will never be resolved and I want nothing to do with them. But my trainer won't let it go. She keeps bringing it up even after I tell her how I feel. When she is on the phone with me it seems like the topic of conversation is about them and how great they are all doing. I find myself invoking emotions I thought I was over. Apparently not.

It's at the point now were I don't know if it's worth it anymore. I feel like I should just try going it alone or look at a trainer that schools riders for lower levels than I show.

:cry:

findeight
Apr. 24, 2009, 04:36 PM
Jeesh...absolutely no reason you need to go in with people you had a falling out with, especially if the feeling is mutual.

Your trainer was right to suggest it ONCE. But it is very unprofessional-and a little mean, to keep harping on it like that every time you pay her for a lesson.

Understand she is dropping you a hint here, she is not going to be commuting out to you much longer. The professional thing to do would be to say "Sue, I am not going to be coming out after next month. You are welcome to join us over at Happy Valley Farms. If that's not going to work, I've enjoyed working with you and Blaze, let me know if I can help you in any way".

So, looks like you will be looking elsewhere anyway. Not a thing wrong with going a little lower...as it usually turns out they only lack a client to go higher and are perfectly capable of coaching one.

Chylli
Apr. 25, 2009, 11:52 AM
Understand she is dropping you a hint here, she is not going to be commuting out to you much longer.


She will keep comming to the farm I'm at because she has more students here also. The farm I'm at is more of a premier farm vs. the one the others went to. She keeps offering to them to trailer over the farm I'm at to take lessons with her. Woo Hoo, that will never happen.

It's like she wants us all to just get over it and get along. But after what they did to me, I may forgive, but I'll never forget and I will always keep my distance from them.

I have given some of the local barn trainers a try before. For the money they are just not up to snuff. I feel at times I could teach them a thing or two. I do have an option of trailering into "horse country" where we have some top trainers, but it's over an hour away and the travel plus lesson eats up most of my day. I may just have to do it though. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

mvp
Apr. 25, 2009, 03:02 PM
If your trainer really wants all her feuding students in one place, then make it HER problem to get everyone to behave. You say you have "forgiven but not forgotten." Then fine, you have to behave in a neutral way, even if that means being a little guarded. The "other side" similarly needs to be civil. Apparently all these clients can't work it ought among themselves.

The trainer (of horses, not people!) properly shouldn't have to deal with your disagreement, really. But if she wants her business to run out of one barn, and to keep everyone, she might have to address the problem.

So you might begin by asking yourself what you want from the barn environment and present that to your trainer. Either she can deliver that or not. Then you can decide to stay or walk. It seems simple to me.

jeta
Apr. 25, 2009, 05:35 PM
She will keep comming to the farm I'm at because she has more students here also. The farm I'm at is more of a premier farm vs. the one the others went to. She keeps offering to them to trailer over the farm I'm at to take lessons with her. Woo Hoo, that will never happen.


So is she trying to get all her students that board with you to move? I mean what difference could it possibly make to her for YOU to move if she has to come to your current barn to teach her other lessons anyway? Are we to understand the students who moved are not welcome at your current barn? Perhaps with good reason?

Giddy-up
Apr. 25, 2009, 05:41 PM
It's like she wants us all to just get over it and get along. But after what they did to me, I may forgive, but I'll never forget and I will always keep my distance from them.

You can be socially polite. Not everybody is going to be BFFs. But nobody needs to be mean or disrespectful to each other.

Not sure why the trainer is bugging you? Sounds like you are at the "right" farm. The others need to move to join you guys. Unless trainer is either trying to give you a heads up they are moving in or maybe trying to see if you will leave so the others will come more freely? :confused:

goeslikestink
Apr. 25, 2009, 05:49 PM
If you had a trainer that was the best in the area. I mean you couldn't find any better with in a 2 hour drive. Would you put up with the drama and have a great trainer, or would you ride alone or find a lesser trainer with no drama?

what makes them so great -----

if the trianer comes with baggage and cuases baggage then its not worth p in the pot -
good instructors dont have baggage

gillisdog
Apr. 25, 2009, 08:04 PM
I really sympathize with you. But I do not think you should go there. What fun will it be if you have to spend your valuable time with people who don't wish you well? Barns are like little communities. You should have friends in your barn who will support you. Having to see these miserable people day in and day out will detract too much from your own enjoyment.

I think this sport is unusually drama-prone. Right up there with figure skating!

I would rather find a lesser known, perhaps up and coming trainer (and there are new ones all the time) who has a nice personality and values my business. I have been going it alone for several years now, and I have no regrets. But my daughter, who is actively showing, is with a trainer whom I chose for her lovely manners and the type of role model she is for this group of young girls.

MilestoneNH
May. 26, 2009, 07:00 AM
Been there, done that. Thought I had the best trainer for my daughter until I became her personal scape goat/whipping girl. Well, put an end to that right then and there. Fired her on the spot, and it was the best thing I EVER did . You are a paying client period. If the time you are paying for is being eaten up by the trainers drama, talk to her about it. If things don't change, move on. Good luck. Sometimes changing trainers feels like getting divorced. :sigh:


"Fired her on the spot"? Interesting twist on the actual events...pretty sure said trainer gave CLIENT an ultimatum-change your behavior or find another barn. "CLIENT" was the one who was spoken to about her behavior/drama, after TRAINER recieving complaints WHILE IN A HOSPITAL BED, not only from other customers within THEIR barn but also other exhibitors and horse show management.

"The time you are paying for" was indeed eaten up by TRAINER being rushed to the emergency room from a horse show....wow...what a drama queen she must be!!! TRAINER'S time has continued to be "eaten up" with having to deal with FORMER CLIENT'S drama as she is so vengeful she continued to attempt to destroy her....time eaten up in lawyer's offices, writing letters to address deformation of character and libel, and hearing about former clients causing trouble in new venues.

And yes, you CAN avoid drama within a barn. It exists between clients and always will. But I have 9-10 students/horses showing now, and a very peaceful environment. Trouble makers are indeed "FIRED ON THE SPOT" :lol:

Extreme Chaos
May. 26, 2009, 08:06 AM
^Yikes!!!:eek:

MilestoneNH
May. 26, 2009, 08:39 AM
sorry for the typo-that's DEFAMATION of character

2bayboys
May. 26, 2009, 08:45 AM
Milestone, you revived a thread that was dead,
to refute LOUDLY a post that was buried inside that thread,
about a supposed incident that none of us on this board have the slightest knowledge of,
nor do we know the parties involved.

That is a perfect example of someone who stirs DRAMA. :lol:

MilestoneNH
May. 26, 2009, 09:21 AM
No, it's a perfect example of someone who is sick and tired OF it. If you had endured what I have with this individual, you may be a bit more forgiving of my need to clarify the facts :) A member of this forum who DOES know both parties and the goings on reported this post to me, and I addressed it, because, as usual, it's distorted and untrue. I understand your viewpoint but as you said, you don't know either party and that includes me....I run one of the most drama-free barns I know of, and it will stay that way.

Aliascml
May. 26, 2009, 05:15 PM
I don't think that there is a barn that has NO drama. There was quite a bit of drama at the barn, where I ride, a couple of months ago. However, I love my trainer, most of the people that ride there, and the horses. They are at least three other hunter/jumper barns, that are all less than 30 minutes away from my house. However, there was no way that I was going to go to a different barn. Since then. there have been some changes and things have become much less stressful and complicated.

hsmom101
May. 26, 2009, 08:44 PM
then there is a problem. Your gut is telling you that and it is finally being verbalized. Don't wait too long to deal with this one way or the other. You will find yourself feeling better as the result.

Be clear and straight forward with your trainer whatever you do and rise above the crap...

Good luck... don't let time spent on the road keep you in a place that uncomfortable and unagreeable.

Parysa
May. 26, 2009, 09:16 PM
No, it's a perfect example of someone who is sick and tired OF it. If you had endured what I have with this individual, you may be a bit more forgiving of my need to clarify the facts :) A member of this forum who DOES know both parties and the goings on reported this post to me, and I addressed it, because, as usual, it's distorted and untrue. I understand your viewpoint but as you said, you don't know either party and that includes me....I run one of the most drama-free barns I know of, and it will stay that way.

And how do any of us know that you really do know the person whose post you're attacking, considering that you're a brand new member and the post was very neutral and had no details? And why are we to take the word of a new member to these forums who obviously has tracked down another member simply to attack a nearly anonymous post? How can we be sure that you're sure that this person and the person to whom you're referring are, indeed, one and the same? We can't. So please stop trolling.

2ndyrgal
May. 26, 2009, 09:26 PM
None of us have any idea who you are or who it was that posted they fired their trainer "on the spot". It isn't as if names were named, or even a situation that might identify either of you was posted, so don't get your panties all wadded up over it. If I had the sort of problems with someone that you say you did with miss on the spot, I sure wouldn't fire it all back up by posting more drama/defense, I'd just say "thank God she's tormenting someone else," somewhere else and be done with it. It's only drama if it's all about you.

MilestoneNH
May. 26, 2009, 10:34 PM
And how do any of us know that you really do know the person whose post you're attacking, considering that you're a brand new member and the post was very neutral and had no details? And why are we to take the word of a new member to these forums who obviously has tracked down another member simply to attack a nearly anonymous post? How can we be sure that you're sure that this person and the person to whom you're referring are, indeed, one and the same? We can't. So please stop trolling.


1) Why would I randomly "attack" someone's post if I didn't know EXACTLY who they are 2) I'm not really concerned with weather or not unrelated parties "take my word" for it, 3) It's not anonymous-the poster uses the same screen name in multiple forums-and there are several members HERE who reported it to me, because they know exactly who she is and who she was referring to (me!), and, finally, 4) There is no "you" and "we"....this is an open forum.

I have been dealing with this issue for almost a year and I am sick and tired of it. I have addressed it privately, and publicly, and with the help of my attorney. So, no offense, but weather you, an unknown individual, believes me or not, is really not at the top of my list. You have every right to observe and comment of course, but if you don't care (and I don't see why you would), my advice is to just stay out of it!

BuddyRoo
May. 26, 2009, 10:52 PM
Oh come on...it's not REALLY drama til your trainer follows you home after a night at the bar after a lesson saying that his wife has kicked him out of the house and he proceeds to live with you for a few months (to get on his feet) and she insists you're having an affair but you have to actually have him evicted by the local police when he and his friends get drunk and damage your home and you arrive with your boyfriend and neighbors in tow. This considering A) you aren't sleeping with him and B) he's a pretty good guy.

And THEN, you can't even train at the barn you WANT to because ex wifey poo is there and you don't think you can creatively cover your horse's marks to sufficiently fool her.

THAT is fun drama. Til you get that kind of scale you're just smurfs.

LOL

arktos19
May. 27, 2009, 07:02 AM
1) I have been dealing with this issue for almost a year and I am sick and tired of it. I have addressed it privately, and publicly, and with the help of my attorney. So, no offense, but weather you, an unknown individual, believes me or not, is really not at the top of my list. You have every right to observe and comment of course, but if you don't care (and I don't see why you would), my advice is to just stay out of it!

I'm thinking your attorney would have advised that you not resurrect a thread that was dead and gone for a full month and dredge it all up again. Whoever brought it to your attention didn't do you any favors by egging you on. If you want a bunch of strangers to "stay out of it", you should not have brought it to this forum.

Ghazzu
May. 27, 2009, 08:44 AM
Til you get that kind of scale you're just smurfs.

LOL


Snort! :D

katie16
May. 27, 2009, 08:51 AM
If you had a trainer that was the best in the area. I mean you couldn't find any better with in a 2 hour drive. Would you put up with the drama and have a great trainer, or would you ride alone or find a lesser trainer with no drama?


I think that is a question that will have a different answer for everyone! I don't think it matters if "we" would put up with it, it matters whether or not "YOU" want to put up with it.

I would say a large reason for your decision would be based on your goals and which is more important to you. If this trainer suits your riding goals, and that is more important to you than whatever the drama is, then deal with it. If not, than go elsewhere.

Obviously, if this trainer is the best in the area, things are not going to change there. However, I would say that there is some drama everywhere. Whether it is three 13yr old kids who one day love each other and the next day cannot stand one another, or someone else trying to "one up" someone, or just general gossip, or whatever . . . I also believe that some people simply find drama in places that others do not. It is totally an individual thing, IMO.

ProzacPuppy
May. 27, 2009, 09:39 AM
Agree that it depends what kind of drama, though also agree that it usually does end up spilling over into personal/barn life.

I've been in barns with trainers considered top of the heap and both made it difficult to enjoy being there. Both used profanity and criticism to get correct riders and horses (and even the horses seemed to dislike the trainers).

I'd say it depends upon how well you are to ignore the drama and not let it get to you even subconsciously and whether you have goals that this trainer is the only one able to help you attain those goals.

Fun Size
May. 27, 2009, 03:24 PM
I can honestly say there is no drama in our barn. And that is because the trainer keeps it that way. I have been told that if drama is happening it's quite possible you will find your horse tied to the fence waiting for you in the driveway. ;)

I have been in barns with drama & trainers who create drama or encourage it by not stopping it. That's no fun. It's too expensive to pay this much not to have fun & the barn be another source of stress.

Same here. I was in the put-up-with-drama-because-I-think-she's-the-best-trainer boat about a year ago. Her business dissolved and I was left high and dry, even after basically running the barn for her for several months! :cry:

I got a recommendation from a law school friend, and the barn I'm at now is absolutely the anti-drama barn. I think if someone really tried to be drama queen, they just might find their horse tied to the fence like your barn Giddy up! :D I love it. And the trainers are way better where there isn't drama, because that means they are good at their job and professionals.

Bet the "big name" trainers don't put up with that mess!

Moderator 1
May. 28, 2009, 09:11 AM
A continued exchange in the open forums between two anonymous individuals involved in an ongoing conflict is likely not the best way to resolve whatever issues may be at play, so please deal with it privately.

Thanks,
Mod 1

findeight
May. 28, 2009, 09:29 AM
I have been dealing with this issue for almost a year and I am sick and tired of it. I have addressed it privately, and publicly, and with the help of my attorney. So, no offense, but weather you, an unknown individual, believes me or not, is really not at the top of my list. You have every right to observe and comment of course, but if you don't care (and I don't see why you would), my advice is to just stay out of it!

:rolleyes:

Yeah, right. Whatever you say.

This was dead, gone and long forgotten and most of us do not give a rat's hinny about that one single post that was in answer to some kids question.

I do not post, lurk or otherwise peruse other boards so, thanks to you, I now have more specifics about a situation I could not possibly have known about until YOU brought it over here.

Oh...and kdriding does not provide a location and provided not a single detail about this whole thing. You feel so wronged? Why the Hell do you provide all the specifics to an unknown audience then whine YOU are the one wronged?

Chylli
May. 28, 2009, 11:35 AM
1) Why would I randomly "attack" someone's post if I didn't know EXACTLY who they are 2) I'm not really concerned with weather or not unrelated parties "take my word" for it, 3) It's not anonymous-the poster uses the same screen name in multiple forums-and there are several members HERE who reported it to me, because they know exactly who she is and who she was referring to (me!), and, finally, 4) There is no "you" and "we"....this is an open forum.

I have been dealing with this issue for almost a year and I am sick and tired of it. I have addressed it privately, and publicly, and with the help of my attorney. So, no offense, but weather you, an unknown individual, believes me or not, is really not at the top of my list. You have every right to observe and comment of course, but if you don't care (and I don't see why you would), my advice is to just stay out of it!


Wow, I thought this thread was dead and gone. Since it's not I'll give you a little update. I moved on and am training with another trainer. I'm realy happy and doing great! I appreciate all the help I got here and you guys gave me a little push in the right direction to do what I already knew I should.

MilestoneNH I don't know you and don't even know if you are refering to me in your posts. It was getting hard to follow whom was talking about whom! I live across the US from you, so you don't know me.

Have a great day everyone!

findeight
May. 28, 2009, 11:46 AM
Wow, I thought this thread was dead and gone. Since it's not I'll give you a little update. I moved on and am training with another trainer. I'm realy happy and doing great! I appreciate all the help I got here and you guys gave me a little push in the right direction to do what I already knew I should.

MilestoneNH I don't know you and don't even know if you are refering to me in your posts. It was getting hard to follow whom was talking about whom! I live across the US from you, so you don't know me.

Have a great day everyone!

Well, good for you Chylli, we sort of told you that would be the way to go because we have all been thru it before.

And don't worry about this other thing, it was in reference to something somebody said in answer to your question and does not involve you at all.

Tallyhova
May. 28, 2009, 03:38 PM
What do you characterize as drama? The most important ingredient in any trainer is the ability to place you in a positive, safe situation as well as being able to address your needs and goals.