Still having anxiety issues

[GettingBack]

I am so frustrated with myself it's not even funny. I'm a re-rider who is over 30 with 3 kids who had several bad falls last year, one that put me in the ER. They have turned me into a complete and utter WUSS.

I am selling the horse that terrifies me - he's the horse that I had the last, bad fall on, and even though he's a good guy, I just can't get over it.

I got a new horse who is *mostly* calm cool and collected. I'm trying to build the trust in him and so far he's been great, but my issue is time.

Because I'm a very busy person, there are weeks when I can't get out to the barn - he's taken care of, it's no big deal, but when I go to get back on, the whole process starts ALL OVER AGAIN. My heart pounds in my ears. I have to consciously work on reeeelllllaaaxxxxinnnnngggggg. I have to remind myself that I'm not going to die.

I'm so frustrated because I still have the skills, but I no longer have the BRAIN to ride. I know that sounds corny. I've been trying visualization etc. but I just can't seem to relax those first rides back after I've missed a few days/week.

[SmokenMirrors]

I have a friend who had a bad fall and was laid up in the hospital then physical therapy and surgery for over a year before she started riding again. Like you, she has severe anxiety issues with horses and it takes a lot of time and patience to get her to get on a strange horse.

What she did is start taking lessons down the road with a lady that she went and watched to see how she taught. The horse she is on is no more than 15H tall, she has been taking lessons for I believe 6 months now and is finally starting to relax enough to actually enjoy her lesson horse. By doing this, it has helped her with some of her issues, and she even did a few jumps in the arena too.

Could you do this to build your confidence up? You would have to make time or find time to take lessons once a week but it may help. Also, with this new horse, to get over your issues, again, MAKE TIME to go out every week, even if it is to find someone to sit with your kids for an hour.

Good luck

[Demeter]

Stop missing weeks.

Is it your anticipation of anxiety that lets you add to the days that you miss? Is your SO resistant to your riding, or will he support you? Can you find a support group?

My advice (as an officially documented anxious person): set a schedule for yourself of no more than, say, 3 days of no riding. Ask your SO to help by making himself available for the kids or whatever other obligations come up to keep you from the barn, and even set up a lesson or coaching session so there's someone counting on you to be there.

Make riding regularly your habit. The fewer times you have to do that restart thing, the more you will look forward to going to the barn and begin to trust the experience.

Hmn. I think I just repeated what Belposh wrote. Oh well, good advice bears repeating :)

[twofatponies]

I would not rule out asking your doctor about a mild anti-anxiety medication. It can be just the thing to help you get in the habit of *not* being anxious. A way to retrain your brain. There are medications that can be taken only as-needed (right before you ride), are non-habit forming, and do not produce any "drugged" feeling or other noticeable side effects.

[meaty ogre]

Sounds like you'd be better of in a lesson program, so you won't have to worry about riding a horse who hasn't been ridden and could possibly be fresh (even if he doesn't act up...sounds like the worry of it is getting you).

You've had some spills and have conditioned yourself into a fear response when you go to the barn. I've been there. You have to get it back to being your happy place, or why bother? Change everything. Switch to western if you've been riding english. Change horses, tack, discipline, etc. It will be easier to develop a positive association if you switch up some of the things that are triggering the negative reaction. The more good rides you get in the stronger this positive reinforcement will be. Once a week is OK but 2x a week is better still. I know it is hard with kids but if this is important to you, you have to make it work.

Our brains are silly things sometimes. We drive our cars day in and out, knowing a fatal crash could happen anytime, yet we do it without hyperventilating or even batting an eye. We go to swing a leg up over a horse and the brain kicks in full-alarm mode.

Lots of things have helped others (hypnosis, visualization, self-help books, meds) but the bottom line is they all work on the same thing...replacing the negative associations you've made (fear, anxiety, etc.) with positive. For me, the right horse is paramount, followed by the right instructor. The rest is just support. Good luck!

[BuddyRoo]

I think the lack of consistency is making many of your rides "first rides" again. IE: Horse gets a bunch of time off and it's like going out for what we call the "spring rodeo" up in the frigid north. That first ride of spring where even the most well mannered horse is wont to be an idiot after 6 mos off.

Have you considered half leasing the horse? Then the horse would be getting worked more regularly.

Also...putting horse in a training/maintenance program with a trainer?

I've half leased mine several times with good results. Especially having 2 and having a busy schedule, it makes it easier for me to keep both in work without having to commit 4 hours a night to the project.

Another thing...that might be cheaper than putting horse in a training program: a good babysitter. For the kids.

I can't imagine taking weeks off at a time and still expecting to be "on my game" if you will. Shoot, I take a few DAYS off and I feel slightly wonky.

[GettingBack]

Thanks guys - I appreciate it.

I may try to get babysitting for the kids - essentially my husband travels a TON so there are weeks when I'm stuck just trying to get everything else done. I have thought about bringing the sane horse home (I have the acreage) so that if the kids need me I'm not far away (they are 14, 9 and 7) and can be within earshot, but I don't have a ring or other things like that and trail riding right now is one of my biggest fears (the last fall that I took was attempting to hack).

Luckily my new guy, even with weeks off, comes out pretty much the same as I left him - with the exception of forgetting about standing when being mounted and a few tosses of the head that I now know mean absolutely nothing at all. It's one of the reasons I bought him as opposed to sticking with the greenie that needs very consistent riding.

The only challenge with bringing the horses home is that idea that I would have to brave trail riding (to get to a friend's ring, where I then would be okay). I guess until I did so I could really work on riding in the ring at the farm where he is and then going for hacks until I felt comfortable again.

I just hate the anxiety - it's crippling. I am really trying hard to stop visualizing all of the horrible things that could happen even being around the horse, but it's hard. All these things that I had always taken for granted as being "safe" (or "safer") now turn into very scary things - even leading the horse or cross-tying.

[Ambrey]

I fell in Nov 07 and STILL sometimes suffer from debilitating anxiety, but I will share what has been helping me.

It isn't just NOT visualizing the bad, but visualizing the good.

Now, let me just say there's no miracle fix. It's saddle time + lots of good anxiety management. BUT, I think just the saddle time without the management doesn't do it.

So I focus quite hard on visualizing exactly what I want to happen. A quiet, relaxed walk around the arena. A nice, quiet 20m circle at a steady, even trot. Walking by a "spooky" area without reaction.

The things that really scare me I practice at home a lot in visualization and don't try in "real life" until I can at least do that without panicking. Right now, my "mind's eye" work is on managing spooks and getting back to work- my horse (I kept the one that injured me, so I've had to get past all THAT baggage) can have an explosive spook, and I'm really tired of one spook setting me off for the rest of the ride!

But I have taken each hurdle in that manner- practicing in my mind's eye, and when I'm comfortable with that giving it a try in real life. Then, while I'm doing it, re-running the successful movie in my mind.

Good luck! Our brains can be the most uncooperative little beasts sometimes, can't they?

[arabhorse2]

I recommend lessons on some nice, quiet schoolies.

Then, if at all possible, send your horse to a trainer to finish him.

I got busted up pretty badly close to 2 years ago and then lost Conny, who was my been there-done that horse. Those two things right in a row, left me with crippling doubt and fear.

Visualization is only so good. You need some actual rides where nothing bad happens, however minor those "bad things" might be. The only way to insure that is to take some lessons, and let your trainer know about your fears.

I'm not only back on a horse, but have most of my old confidence that I thought was gone forever. I can sit through spooks, crow hops, and the unexpected occasional jump.

The only time I have even a whisper of fear is when I'm mounting, since my horse bucked like a rodeo animal when I was getting on, and that's how I got hurt so badly.

When we're damaged, we seek help from those whose job it is to make us better. A good trainer with lessons set to your own pace, and on bombproof schoolies, can work miracles. There are just some things you can't do without outside help.

Good luck. Been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. But I'm also living proof you can get past it.

[stoneymeadow]

I started riding in 2000 at the age of 40 and had a very bad fall Oct 26, 2001. Horse was spooky but never bucked. That night as soon as I mounted he threw his head in the air, pinned his ears flat back and took off like a rodeo bronc. I was in the hospital for a week, had a walker for 3 more, PT for years and still can tell the weather by the swelling in my hip.

Horse turned out to have a tumor in his shoulder that met that night with the saddle. But I could never ride him again and wasn't sure I could ever ride any horse.

My husband presented me with a breed stock paint in Feb 2002 that he had purchased for $1. Jet was supposedly too lame to do much more than be a walk/trot trail horse but my husband thought he would be a good confidence builder. There were days were it took me 20 minutes standing on the mounting block before I could get the courage to get on. Jet stood there and just looked at me like I was nuts. Then when I was able to get on, some days it was all I could do to walk a 20m circle before jumping off. I ended many rides in tears. During this time our vet and farrier figured out Jet as not all that lame and had him back in tip-top shape in no time.

But each day I set a goal of doing just a little bit more until I could confidently go out and have a great walk/trot session. but I was terrified to canter. A firend suggested that I enter an upcoming dressage show at Intro as a confidence builder. Heck, I didn't even know what dressage was let alone a recognized dressage show....but the friend had known Jet since birth and knew he was more than up to the challenge.

When I did look into it I decided that I didn't just want to do intro, I wanted to do Training level. OK, with what I know now it was stupid and keep in mind I didn't have a trainer at this point in time. A week before closing I had not even cantered this horse and set the goal that if I cantered before closing, I would enter. I did canter and we did enter.

So in spring 2002 I went to my first dressage show as a true novice without a clue. Jet took absolute care of me and another friend gave me a tequila shot prior to my first ride at 9AM. OK, that was stupid too. We ended up Reserve Champion at Training level and I had no idea what an accomplishment that was....only knew how much I loved this whole dressage thing and how much I loved Jet.

Jet took me through 2nd level with numerous awards including AA Reserve Champ at Regionals at 1st level, Dover Medals, etc. Lameness did finally force his retirement but he is happily still with me enjoying his life.

I was very lucky to have found very good trainer as in 2002 I would not have known good from bad. She is still my trainer today. Flash forward to 2009 and I now have my Silver Medal and am riding my first I-1 this weekend. And I am an aging AA with limited natural talent on a budget!

But trust me, I think about Oct 21, 2001 often. It is still there in the back of my mind....the ambulance, being strapped to the body board, the pain, the rehab. In every new situation it trys to creep out of the depths and I have to bash it back.

But you can bash it back.....a horse you can trust, set small goals, get very good instruction, be patient, know that you will have set backs, and be persistent. I can not overempahsize the importance of having a horse you can trust and then that very, very, very good instructor who knows how to push you but not push you in over your head. Also recognize the little accomplishments but don't dwell on any setbacks.

Good luck!!!

[stryder]

Good advice from others. Good schoolies are worth their weight in gold!

I fell in January and cracked a couple of ribs. When I started riding again, I'm not (too) ashamed to admit that some days it took help to get me on. Someone held her head while I mounted, and kept her on a very short longe line while I walked in small circles. I was scared.

Now we're back to WTC and my confidence is growing every day. Here's what's working for me:
Wearing a good protective vest on every ride (the AiroWear Outlyne is very comfortable);

Saying "stick with me" when I start to sense my mare becoming distracted (much better for me than the "OMG, she's gonna blow" thoughts I'd had previously)

Thinking of myself as being trustworthy for her, rather than the other way around. This little shift in my thinking has really been working for us, because it brings my attitude within my control, rather than counting on her to be rock-solid.

Being aggressive about pursuing the scary stuff. That yapping dog? We're going to march right up there. More freeing for me than cowering, hoping it will go away.

I heard it takes 15-20 minutes for our adrenaline rush to wash out. Only way to speed it up is to recall our mother's hug. I think of my vest as my mother's hug, and when I start feeling anxious, I breathe deep enough for it to feel really snug.

Oh, and I'm temporarily back in my western saddle. The one I got 40 years ago, because it helps me remember the happy, confident riding I did then.

good luck to you.

[starrysky]

Most of what I have to say has already been said in the posts above, but I will say it again, to stress the point.

First, I agree, a steady, secure horse and quality instruction are the first things you need to find. You said the horse you have now is safe and sane, so this is good. Without having to worry about the horse spooking or freaking out on you, you will be able to focus your energy towards getting more confident. A good trainer will be able to push you just far enough, but not too far. He/she will also act as a safety net of sorts. If you trust your trainer, you know that he/she will not put you in a situation you can't handle. This will take some of the stress away from you. You won't have to worry if you are ready to do the day's activity. You will be ready for it, or your trainer wouldn't have you doing it. This is where a QUALITY trainer is worth her weight in gold.

I have been battling anxiety for the past 4 or 5 years. I tend to be a cautious person in general, but I somewhere along the line lost confidence in my riding. It got to the point where I was afraid to get on, and afraid to try anything that I saw as "overfacing", which really meant anything that was a challenge. There isn't a magic formula to get over it - it is different for every person.

I can say that finding a trainer I trust has made a world of difference for me. I know that she will not ask more of me than I can physically do. She pushes me forward when I need it, and also knows when I am having "one of those days" and forgives me for being a wuss. Another thing that has made a big difference is finding a suitable mount. A horse you trust is KEY.

I also have sought the help of a professional for the anxiety. It really helps you to understand where it is coming from, and to do what you can (visualizations, re-routing of the thoughts that come into your brain) to minimize the anxiety.

The #1 thing that has helped me gain some of my confidence back is simply having good rides. Each time I have a good ride, I get more confidence back. It is the simple things that really make you remember you CAN ride! Nothing can take the place of time in the saddle.

Good luck, and remember that anxiety isn't going to magically disappear. You will always have some form of it in the back of your mind. Knowing how best for YOU to deal with it on a daily basis will help you to become the confident rider you want to be.

[outofthebox]

I am very impressed that you went from nothing to I1 in 7 years, in spite of a major accident and major fear issues. Wow, you go girl!

[ReSomething]

Get a babysitter and go to the barn. Get out there, start hacking again, get at least a little comfortable with it before you bring him home, then do that.
These posts are all so good - and as a fellow worrier I have to suggest That Winning Feeling by Jane Savoie as a good read - you must visualize positive things! I am getting ready to go to the barn and I'm a little anxious, this horse I ride is smart, athletic, intelligent and willing, but he also has quite a spook, and I am afraid of that. BUT, the spook I am afraid of is the one that leaves me in mid-air, with the horse running back the way we just came, and then I land and it hurts, and HE DOESN'T DO THAT, he just scoots or dives sideways and I haven't come CLOSE to falling off, at all. So I visualize the calm maintenance of the gait or the selection of the new best direction to go or all the things I enjoy like scritches and his ham personality. You can do this!

[GettingBack]

Thanks everyone! I hate to say that I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone, because I wouldn't wish this on anyone - but at the same time, I am so grateful to hear your stories of getting over it!

All really good suggestions - and I really appreciate them.

Saying "stick with me" when I start to sense my mare becoming distracted (much better for me than the "OMG, she's gonna blow" thoughts I'd had previously)

Thinking of myself as being trustworthy for her, rather than the other way around. This little shift in my thinking has really been working for us, because it brings my attitude within my control, rather than counting on her to be rock-solid.

I think this is really good - and I'm going to try it. Part of my issue is that I've become acutely aware of any little sensation in the horse that means that they are amplified or up. Tension across the back, shortened stride, slight cock of the head - anything like that can send me into a heart pounding mode - because I'm constantly on the lookout. I can't figure out which injury did it the worst to me, but I think it was the injury where I got on, was reaching to adjust my reins, and was dolphinned off - almost broke my neck.

Though my other injury was much more catastrophic in terms of injury, that one scared me because it came out of the blue - and now I'm constantly wondering what little sign I missed. I couldn't blame that explosion on anything (we never did figure out what happened - horse did it several weeks later to his owner who broke her arm). I really think that's what has goofed me up so badly - the fact that I couldn't figure out what went wrong.

Enough dwelling about that - I have been trying to concentrate on staying cool KNOWING that if I get too tense, even my sane guy will pick up on that.

It's just so frustrating - I was watching a gal school my sale horse the other night and I wanted to tell her - wait, here - recycle his energy like this - soften like this - but...I couldn't, because right now I couldn't show her how to ride him. I haven't ridden him since the accident, and I'm not sure that I can. And she was so happily bipping about up there - legs all loose and back all comfortable and I just wanted to cry.

Okay, that was a vent - but at any rate, I'm going to try to continue thinking good thoughts, trying to watch GOOD things, look into seeing my doc, and try to figure out babysitting/lessons.

[Ambrey]

Yep, when my horse gets anxious, I make sure he can feel my hands and legs and reassure him that I wouldn't head him into danger. No idea if that actually works, but it makes ME feel more in control.

And like re-something said, picture the type of spook that's likely to happen and reassure yourself that you can handle it! A scoot, a shuffle, even a minor bolt aren't likely to unseat you as long as you don't panic!

[saultgirl]

I have anxiety issues if I go more than about 3 days in a row of not riding. If I can keep on a very consistent schedule, though, my anxiety goes away almost completely and I really look forward to riding.

I also cut WAY back on caffeine on days when I think I might have a dicey ride, and try to get some exercise in BEFORE riding, to take the edge off a bit.

When riding, I try to keep focused on a plan, instead of just wandering about. If it's a "spooky" day (really windy or lots of distractions) I actually keep the walk work to a MINIMUM and work mostly at a forward, purposeful trot.

Good luck!

[Arizona DQ]

You have a 14 year old child? He/She can't sit the others???? Go to the barn and RIDE! :winkgrin:

[GettingBack]

14 is a hard age for a boy, and he's not always...erm...trustworthy. We're working on that.

BUT that being said, I'm happy to report that I had a wonderful ride tonight - no anxiety whatsoever and I even cantered and tried some lateral work.

What happened?

It's the goofiest thing. There was a girl there at the barn who sometimes rides my greenie. I'd like to be able to offer her some advice as to how to ride him, which was hard to do considering that I couldn't do a darned thing.

So, she and i were talking and she came in the ring and talked to me, and I was just talking about horses, my history with them, and talking about training in general. I used to teach, so it was easy to do while schooling my guy. My guy is safe and sane, but he doesn't know much, so we were working on basic school figures, cantering down the long side (not enough balance to do corners well) and some basic lateral work.

Oddly enough, I was calm enough even to drop my reins and walk at the end of the ride.

Was it because I was in instructor mode and feeling confident? I am not sure. But I felt great, the whole ride was easy, I didn't give anything the hairy eyeball and neither did he.

I may have to flip the instructor switch (similar to the "being strong for your horse" tactic) more often - because I got off and felt amazing.

Thank you all - and yes, I do need to ride every day if possible - I would definitely feel so much better if I can make it work.

[BravAddict]

I developed some riding anxiety in my (quite recent) college years. It may have had a "logical" beginning but by this point it has become just a habit. Anxiety is self-reinforcing; even being anxious about getting anxious can trigger you. As a result I tend to ride better sans caffeine or any other kind of stimulant. Making sure you go to the barn thoroughly de-caffeinated may help take the edge off :)

[AnotherRound]

Yep, when my horse gets anxious, I make sure he can feel my hands and legs and reassure him that I wouldn't head him into danger. No idea if that actually works, but it makes ME feel more in control.



So, when you're anxious, you signal that with your hands? Your legs?? Think about what you're saying you're doing, here. Your hands shouldn't be on his mouth out of anxiety, and your legs sure as tootin you don't want to be putting them on the horse just to feel in control, with admittedly no effect, you're signaling your anxiety to the horse. That's a good explaination for the way you have your horse cranked back, Ambrey, with your hands planted in his withers and your toes turned out with your leg on him. What a recipe for disaster. Its not a solution for your fear of your horse bolting, its the reason he's ready to do it, anxiety is not an effective communication to the horse. :confused::confused:

[tkhawk]

Hmm it sounded like she was saying when the horse is anxious, she touches? It works on my girl, sometimes if she is all worked up, just a little pet on the neck. Or if I feel a major spook coming, you can feel it coming and know which way the horse will jump, just give some leg and support the horse and ask to keep going through it. It works for me-of course if I am calm and not drawn into the horse's drama!:lol:

[Ponyclubrocks]

I haven't read all the replies so forgive me please if this is redundant. Some therapy with a good psychologist could help you acquire coping skills to help you work through this. You sound like you are making all the right logical steps (new horse etc) but fear and anxiety are not rational processes so you can't use logic to overcome them. Therapy can offer you a wide variety of ways to alter your feelings over time. With or without medication, this can be a very powerful tool. Good luck to you

[Ambrey]

Or if I feel a major spook coming, you can feel it coming and know which way the horse will jump, just give some leg and support the horse and ask to keep going through it. It works for me-of course if I am calm and not drawn into the horse's drama!:lol:

Yep, it's like a big hug, LOL. Basically a light version of a half halt- "I'm here, it's OK, let's get back to work."

But this is what works for him- he doesn't get hot or anxious, he gets ADHD and looky, so putting the leg on him and pushing him forward works quite well, and he relaxes once he gets back to work.

[GettingBack]

I think I know what Ambrey is saying - that it's pre-spook. I've been trying to get back though to the opposite - to where I was when I was a kid. To be loose enough and relaxed enough that you just go with the horse when they spook. Loose through the middle.

At any rate, it was a great ride last night and I'm going to try to keep it up - who would have thought I'd be hacking around on a loose rein at the end of it? :)

[equineartworks]

Gettingback,

I agree with the others, as I too have some anxiety issues I am working through.

Definitely try to stick with the routine. Even though I am not riding right now, I am still at the stable 2-3 days a week and just being with the horses helps me connect to them and ease the anxiety. Usually after an hour I feel I am ready to ride (but then I have a lesson or have to leave lol!). Each time I am there the anxiety is less. You need to work through it for yourself. Another suggestion is a therapeutic riding center. They aren't always just for children with special needs. You need to learn trust again, and this can be the perfect way to do it. Either ask around and volunteer or take a lesson. We strive for anxiety-free rides! :) As a matter of fact, that is what Dumplin' does here at our farm. He is starting work with adults with trust and fear issues and children who cannot ride to do physical limitations.

[arabhorse2]

I haven't read all the replies so forgive me please if this is redundant. Some therapy with a good psychologist could help you acquire coping skills to help you work through this. You sound like you are making all the right logical steps (new horse etc) but fear and anxiety are not rational processes so you can't use logic to overcome them. Therapy can offer you a wide variety of ways to alter your feelings over time. With or without medication, this can be a very powerful tool. Good luck to you

Ponyclub, I don't see the OP as needing therapy, and especially not medication. Be careful what you advise, because therapy isn't something to be considered lightly.

She doesn't appear to have crippling fear, just that she's nervous and anxious. Rightfully so, since what happened to her was traumatic.

I had something similar happen to me, and I knew the only things that would help me was getting back up on a horse I could trust, and an instructor who understood where I was coming from.

The only medicine I needed was having good rides. Considering the update from the OP, I'd say that's what is working for her, too.

[rhymeswithfizz]

It really might help to have a session or two with not just a regular psychologist, but a SPORTS psychologist. Ideally one with equestrian experience. I know you said you were trying to use visualization techniques, but maybe a professional can help you find a better way.


Hugs and good luck!

[twofatponies]

Ponyclub, I don't see the OP as needing therapy, and especially not medication. Be careful what you advise, because therapy isn't something to be considered lightly.


Except for the expense, I don't see why not. Depends on where you live, I suppose, but among my friends and acquaintances it's not considered a big deal to pop in and visit with a sports psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or whatever if you are struggling with something, even just a "normal" thing like adjusting when your kids go to college, or dealing with a divorce or death in the family, or changing jobs, etc.

[quietann]

I would not rule out asking your doctor about a mild anti-anxiety medication. It can be just the thing to help you get in the habit of *not* being anxious. A way to retrain your brain. There are medications that can be taken only as-needed (right before you ride), are non-habit forming, and do not produce any "drugged" feeling or other noticeable side effects.

Ask about Buspar (busiperone generic I think). It is non-addictive, unlike the benzodiazepenes (Valium, Librium et al.), very mild, relatively inexpensive as a generic, and made for taking on an "as needed" basis.

I use it (on myself) for new situations with my horse, who can be a handful. or if I cannot sleep because I am fretting.

Taking more than one, however, leads to major brain fuzz at least in my case!

[quietann]

So, she and i were talking and she came in the ring and talked to me, and I was just talking about horses, my history with them, and talking about training in general. I used to teach, so it was easy to do while schooling my guy. My guy is safe and sane, but he doesn't know much, so we were working on basic school figures, cantering down the long side (not enough balance to do corners well) and some basic lateral work.y if possible - I would definitely feel so much better if I can make it work.

Talking makes you breathe, and for those of us who get anxious when riding, making sure we are breathing is the most important thing! If I hold my breath because I am anxious, guess what -- my mare holds HER breath too.

I think a minor distraction is also good because it gets you riding without extreme focus on riding. Very good for those of us who are experienced enough to know what to do "automatically" but sometimes over-attend to what we are doing. Maresy and I are struggling with downward transitions right now, and the best ones always come when I am gossiping with my trainer! :lol:

[arabhorse2]

Except for the expense, I don't see why not. Depends on where you live, I suppose, but among my friends and acquaintances it's not considered a big deal to pop in and visit with a sports psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or whatever if you are struggling with something, even just a "normal" thing like adjusting when your kids go to college, or dealing with a divorce or death in the family, or changing jobs, etc.

I guess different things work for different people, but I never once thought of going to a therapist when I was struggling with my own fear of riding. The cost never factored into it, because lessons are expensive, too.

I knew what caused my fear, and had a good idea what I needed to do to get back in the saddle. It never occurred to me to consult someone outside the equine community.

As far as drugs to overcome anxiety? Although I believe that better living through chemistry is sometimes the answer, I think I'll stick with booze! ;)

[syntheeya]

Except for the expense, I don't see why not. Depends on where you live, I suppose, but among my friends and acquaintances it's not considered a big deal to pop in and visit with a sports psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or whatever if you are struggling with something, even just a "normal" thing like adjusting when your kids go to college, or dealing with a divorce or death in the family, or changing jobs, etc.

Yes, yes, and yes. Therapy can be great for anyone wanting a little help or guidance on working through a problem. There are some wonderful shorter-term therapies now that would probably be very beneficial to you.

I, too, do not understand the "therapy is not to be considered lightly" stuff. Don't let that scare you - your problem may not be "crippling" but it is there and is causing you distress. That is enough to "qualify" for therapy.

Best of luck!!

[lilblackhorse]

i got tossed and broke my back when I was 30 something and had two small children. My hot TB never got used to me again being a weenie on his back, and I sold him because I couldn't worry about me being hurt again.

I highly recommend the book by Jane Savoie called "that winning feeling"...as someone said at the beginning, you need to understand that you are anticipating something bad. Your brain sees that as a real situation, so in your head, you've fallen off every ride. Of course you are scared--doesn't help that you let weeks go by as well between rides.

I also recommend hypnosis--I went to a similar issue after a car accident--he made me envision me GETTING there safely instead of my way, which was picturing a fiery crash everytime. It works--you can train your mind to be positive.

Start small, baby steps. The other line I like from John Lyons is "do what you can, not what you can't". I won't ride alone again--and if trail riding scares you, don't do it, it's that simple. Take some lessons, ride daily---you can do it. And there is no shame in saying "I am too afraid to do this anymore, I don't want to do it." If it's not fun, and you dread going out there, then quit. Seriously

[Risk-Averse Rider]

I would not rule out asking your doctor about a mild anti-anxiety medication. It can be just the thing to help you get in the habit of *not* being anxious. A way to retrain your brain. There are medications that can be taken only as-needed (right before you ride), are non-habit forming, and do not produce any "drugged" feeling or other noticeable side effects.I used to start getting nervous Sunday night about my Tuesday morning jumping (crossrails) lesson. If I coughed or sneezed, I would think, "Cool! Maybe I'm getting sick and won't have to jump Tuesday."
:rolleyes:

My doctor prescribed the beta-blocker propranolol (the generic form of Inderal) because it's used to control stage fright in musicians and other performers. I never felt drugged from it, just noticed that I was much calmer and more detached. "Hm. He appears to be running off with me. Perhaps I should stop him. At some point."

Eventually, I was able to cut back the dose, and only took it before shows. And finally I just stopped taking it for good.

I would not hesitate to start taking it again if I started feeling that same pre-lesson panic.

[eponacelt]

I would not rule out asking your doctor about a mild anti-anxiety medication. It can be just the thing to help you get in the habit of *not* being anxious. A way to retrain your brain. There are medications that can be taken only as-needed (right before you ride), are non-habit forming, and do not produce any "drugged" feeling or other noticeable side effects.

I will second this. I have been diagnosed with a relatively mild panic disorder. At this point in my life, it manifests itself mostly when I go to ride. The medication I take occasionally helps me separate the real things to be afraid of from the panic side. It has made a huge difference in my riding. Just like Risk-Averse Rider, I was prescribed propranalol, and it worked in exactly the way she says. It was brilliant. I was able to focus on what I really needed to do, not the fear. And now, about 10 years later, I never take the stuff. It enabled me to put the fear and panic in perspective, which is all it took.

Bottom line? Don't be afraid to talk to a doctor. It can make a huge difference for you.

[Meliora]

I am a trainer and I broke & dislocated my ankle 1 1/2 years ago. I understand your anxiety. What was it that you LOVED most about riding? The partnership with the horse? Competing? Just the smell of the barn? These are questions that I had to answer, before I could even crawl back onto one of my old school ponies. Every rider has one (or a few) aspects that they love (not just like). Horses are a part of our life. Figure out what you love about the aspect of riding. Find a great instructor with safe, kind school horses, and begin to explore your new goals. I wish you luck!

[GettingBack]

My doctor prescribed the beta-blocker propranolol (the generic form of Inderal) because it's used to control stage fright in musicians and other performers. I never felt drugged from it, just noticed that I was much calmer and more detached. "Hm. He appears to be running off with me. Perhaps I should stop him. At some point."

Eventually, I was able to cut back the dose, and only took it before shows. And finally I just stopped taking it for good.


I've never heard of that - interesting!

I have no aversion to therapy - I do believe that it can be useful in a variety of situations. I successfully rode my solid guy outside in the ring for the first time (for both of us) and we not only didn't die, I dealt with a few small hairy-eyed moments on his part without clenching. Didn't get to ride today (4 days in a row is a record lately!) because we're starting to put up fencing at it was 85 degrees, but I'm going to make sure I go tomorrow. I appreciate all of the suggestions and and am likely going to implement as many as I can. :)

[spurgirl]

I myself am now riding a "new" horse, he can be somewhat cranky, and has been known to buck a bit when going into the canter. I have been quite ill over the winter, with Lyme disease and another tick illness, Babesiosa, and as a result I have arthritis, body aches, and have almost ZERO confidence in myself as a rider-even though I've been riding for years, and this horse is not dangerous.

I have been doing ground work, and lunge work, and right now my horse is totally in tune with me. He is voice trained, so knowing when I say "whoa", he'll "whoa" is a great help. I've also been taking "baby" rides-from the round pen to the (unfenced) outdoor, to short trail rides (with a boarder), and finally today, an hour trail ride with another border-just walking in the woods.

To me, the two things that help the most are: Talking to a friend while you ride, and NOT concentrating on "OMG, What's he doing?" DON'T think too much!! Just have fun, and ride. If you trail ride, are there any "challenging" trails? By that I mean, small hills, winding tails, or in my case, some sort of trappy wet areas-I just gave my guy his head, and he figured it out. I just sat there, gave him his head, he needed to figure where to put his feet, and things were challenging enough that he had no naughty thoughts. It was a blast! With each ride, my confidence is slowly coming back....It takes time-and some consistency, so I would try to get to the barn at least 2X a week.

Good Luck!! You are not alone feeling this way! I'm sure it will end up working out for you...:)

[Futuresmom]

Boy, do I know how you feel...I took a bad fall in November of 2007 and broke my right arm in several places. I am just now riding more and getting my confidence back. I bought a TWH about 10 months ago and have been learning how to ride him. He is an absolute "Dream Horse" and has been a real confidence builder. However I did take a spill off of him several months ago and my confidence went down the toilet. I am much better today...what has helped me is a girl comes to my farm and rides first then I ride and she helps me with my issues. I have the desire to ride it's just the fear that pops into my head. I was told that bones may heal fast but the head doesn't. Time is what you need...I've purchased videos and read some books but having a friend or some trainer help you to get through does work.
Remember..baby steps...do ground work with your horse. When you get comfortable with that...saddle him up and just lunge him...next time saddle him and get on and get off....next time get on and walk in a circle. See what I'm getting at? It's helped me. I know that everyone is different but I'm tired of missing out because of my fears. I did purchase a helmet and that has helped me feel a bit safer.
I wish you nothing but luck in your endeaver. Hang in there...it just takes alot of time.
If you'd like to email me and talk more about this I'd be happy to.

pamela78333@aol.com

Good Luck!

~Pam

[missliz]

I had a concussion a few years ago than a break from riding due to college. I am getting back into jumping, and the first 2 times were ok but I think its been a rougher week for me and so Sat was rough (horse stopped several times, think he was picking up on my anxiety) but Sunday was much better (variety of factors)

What I did the night before was made a list of things to remember--breathe, support horse etc it helped me to write them!! I even drew jumps and drew how a course would look, just to help me be familiar.

I also told myself--just make it thru the lesson remembering all this and than go get myself a treat (sonic vanilla diet dr pepper--love them). The lesson went great, but I didn't even need the reward by than, I was just so giddy happy.

I think having a good patient, understanding trainer really helps loads!