How to deal with the loss of a horse?

[Ozone]

Very sad day for me ....

Our 40 year old pony Bob passed away last night. He went down in his stall, and basically his heart gave out. :sadsmile: I am completly distraught. He taught 100's a kids to ride, he had more wisdom the many people, he was a lover and a fighter. All of my life he has been at the barn... now he is gone and I don't think I will ever feel the same about the barn.

He is running free in the wind. He is laying down in a grassy field... something he has no been able to do for years now. I miss him so much. :cry: How do you deal?

[hollyhorse2000]

I dread the day that I will have to deal with this . . .

I'm sorry for you. I do believe our beloved pets stay and wait for us to join them someday. That does make it easier (at least with the dogs I've lost).

[macmtn]

{{HUGS}} I am Sorry for your loss:sadsmile:...old friends are very hard to lose. We lost the NOT!! Spoiled!! Arabian after 18 awsome years together...not nearly enough time IMHO. That was last December and my heart breaks every time I go by his stall. Or see his picture. Or some well meaning person asks about him. You deal..one day at time. Days you cry...days you smile. The smile days are a tiny bit more frequent now and he will live on in my heart forever.
These pictures were taken on his 20th birthday..just another old decrepit pony (NOT) celebrating life.
http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o120/macmtn/

[FlashGordon]

So very sorry for your loss. Sounds like pony had an awesome life with you, and what a long one... though I know, no amount of time is ever enough.

I lost my gelding last September, and some days I think of him and can barely breathe, it hurts so badly.

Not sure you ever "get over" it. Just find a way to keep going, I guess....

Hugs to you. Take care. :sadsmile:

[Lisa Cook]

I'm still trying to figure out how to cope. My heart just hurts from losing Linus in January and even just reading this topic has brought me to tears again. If someone figures out how to handle - let me know.

[DiscoMom]

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss!!! Like the others said, it does get easier and you will have your good and bad days. Today marks one year since I lost Disco. I am finally at a point where I can look at pictures of him and talk about him without losing it. This morning I walked by the memory pot I had made using his tail hair and recounted some of his funnier moments. Big (((HUGS))) for you on this difficult day!

[Ozone]

Mactmn, your horse is beautiful!

Thinking about Bob now I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like there is 12 cinderblocks on my chest that are all too hard to move alone. His strong welcoming whinny keeps playing in my head... I'd say "Good morning Bob, you in there" and when he would do his deep, strong whinny I knew he was ok for the morning.

He is something so special, the hurt is unbearable. Disco Mom - Not so happy anniversary for your beloved Disco, remember the good times, I feel that's all we can do however, they make me sad too thinking there will be no more of him. Thanks for your support.

[imapepper]

I am so sorry for your loss :sadsmile: You were so lucky to have him in your life for such a long time. I guess the price you pay for having them is that they take a piece of your heart with them when they pass on :sadsmile: But I think that it's an even trade off for all they give to us.

[LR1976]

I am so sorry. I can't think of anything to make it hurt less. I dread the day I have to go thru the same thing. I know how hard it's been with the couple pets I've lost. With horses, it's friendship and a partnership. It's something special. Know that he's happy and surely sunning himself in a lush, green pasture.

[Vesper Sparrow]

So sorry for your loss. Everyone is different but what really helped me recently with my dog who passed away unexpectedly was to write a little essay about her including all the little things about her that I wanted to remember--all her special little idiosyncracies--and everything I wanted to tell her. I came up with seven pages' worth. I think I will look through all her photos and make an album of this, including what I've written.

[arabhorse2]

It will become bearable at some point, I promise.

Conny was my talker; the others have never had much to say. Conny always had a whinny, whuffle, neigh or soft whicker for every and all situations. The day his voice fell silent was one of the worst of my life.

Bob had a long, good life and chose to go out on his own terms. Compared to the majority of animals whose owners have to decide when it's time, he spared you the pain of having to put him down.

We grieve because we love them, and now they're gone. It's the price we pay, and I for one have paid it gladly. I would have been a much poorer person for not having had that shining presence in my life.

Grieve for Bob, but remember that many have already walked the path, and we support and understand what you're going through.

[Tif_Ann]

I am so sorry for your loss too. I'm on day 17 of losing my TB, and I'm still struggling with "moving on". Just last weekend I entertained the thought of loaning his bridle out to a friend ... and it hurt so bad I was in tears. Needless to say the bridle wasn't loaned. And while I loved Rocky, he was leased to a 14 year old girl so I rarely rode him ... I keep thinking if it hurts this much losing Rocky, how would I feel if I lost my Pirate? I just keep reminding myself of his long life, the great things he did, and us a lot of music to keep me going. I can't listen to "his song" - "So What" by Pink ... but I find a lot of solace in Green Day's "Time of your Life" (also known as Good Riddance but I'm not sure why).

[Saidapal]

Sending you a cyber hug for your loss.

I cried for a solid week and didn't try to stop myself. For months, and even now sometimes I'll think about my mare and tear up. But I also remind myself of the wonderful 23 years we had together, and I wouldn't have missed them for the world.

Day to day. You go day to day. My mare's halter is still hanging on her hook, and she's been gone since last September. I'll move it one day, but not today. Likewise her stall is still empty even though it would be more convenient for me to move them all down one. Can't do that either. I think about shifting them, and the stall stays empty. Right now its got extra buckets and bedding in it.

[Ozone]

Thank you all so much.. As I am writing this I find my self in tears not only for my Bob but for all of your horses as well. Conny, Rocky, Vesper's Dog, the beautiful Arab, Disco.

Bob's halter is on his stall. We had to put another sweet pony in his stall almost immediately because among us humans hurting he left behind his friend Woody and his beloved Donkey May. Woody is stalled next to him. I cry for May as she loved him, she lived in his stall with him. This morning she actually went into the replacement pony's stall thinking where's Bob and then she cried and cried and boy was that hard because I know how she feels but in a donkey way I have no idea the hurt that little May is feeling.

[spooky01]

I am soo sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is so devastating. My best days after losing my heart horse and heart dog was the day I could finally look at a picture or talk about them without crying. I believe it was about 6 months and I'm not an emotional person. Fortunately now I can look at pics and smile. Give yourself all the time you need, the pain you feel now will be replaced with grand memories one day.

[tikihorse2]

I'm so, so sorry!

****HUGS****

Kim

[tpup]

I'm so sorry for your loss. :( Sending you ((hugs)). I hope your pain and sadness ease with time.

[TBMaggie]

It will become bearable at some point, I promise.

Conny was my talker; the others have never had much to say. Conny always had a whinny, whuffle, neigh or soft whicker for every and all situations. The day his voice fell silent was one of the worst of my life.

Bob had a long, good life and chose to go out on his own terms. Compared to the majority of animals whose owners have to decide when it's time, he spared you the pain of having to put him down.

We grieve because we love them, and now they're gone. It's the price we pay, and I for one have paid it gladly. I would have been a much poorer person for not having had that shining presence in my life.

Grieve for Bob, but remember that many have already walked the path, and we support and understand what you're going through.

Beautifully said arabhorse2. I send my condolences over Bob as well. No matter how much time passes, we will awaysl miss our gallant horses.

[eventgroupie2]

Nothing more that I can add that hasn't already been said, but heartfelt hugs from VA - been there, still doing that....does get easier with time, but I still cry at the darndest memories......but the happy memories do shine through..... HUGS!

[equinelaw]

I'm still trying to figure out how to cope. My heart just hurts from losing Linus in January and even just reading this topic has brought me to tears again. If someone figures out how to handle - let me know.


Ditto. This is the first such thread I have been able to open. Hurt to be reminded. So I guess time helps some, but much more time then we might expect.

[contesstant]

I just lost a 6 year old arab gelding in February. My mom bred him and raised him then sent him to me in VA, all the way from CA, so I could campaign and show him all the way to nationals. I never got the chance. He did have an amazing year last year with my trainer. He was freaky talented and the arab breed lost a great one with him.

It's devastating and I am so sorry for your loss. My advice? ALLOW yourself to grieve and grieve HARD. It is perfectly acceptable to cry your eyes out, and for days if that's what you need. Everyone grieves in different ways. I myself took comfort in gathering Socks' stuff and putting together a picture collage, and also ordering a gorgeous digital image of him during a victory pass, which I had made into a 16X20. I have yet to do something with his tail, name plate, halter, and roses and ribbons but will someday.

I also did something that I think other people may not understand, but he was my only horse and I needed to fill that void. One week ago, I purchased another PB arab gelding who is so different from Socks--total opposites. He is not a replacement but is really filling that hole in my heart and that drive to compete that I also lost with Socks.

Try to celebrate the years you had with your beloved pony. What a blessing he was to you and so many others, for such a long time! The pain WILL ease, I promise.

[Ozone]

It will become bearable at some point, I promise.

Conny was my talker; the others have never had much to say. Conny always had a whinny, whuffle, neigh or soft whicker for every and all situations. The day his voice fell silent was one of the worst of my life.

Bob had a long, good life and chose to go out on his own terms. Compared to the majority of animals whose owners have to decide when it's time, he spared you the pain of having to put him down.

We grieve because we love them, and now they're gone. It's the price we pay, and I for one have paid it gladly. I would have been a much poorer person for not having had that shining presence in my life.

Grieve for Bob, but remember that many have already walked the path, and we support and understand what you're going through.

Thank you for your kind words. Bob did have a good life. He was loved and gave love and if I have to cry myself to sleep every night (2 days now) then I will and someday I will smile.

Althought I never wanted the day to come for him to leave us it could have not been a better time and how it happened. He laid down in his stall (has not laid down in 2 years) and his heart was going 100mph, slowly it slowed down until it stopped. He was surrounding by family and friend. I am SO thankful he did not leave us alone in the night. He shot out a whinny saying it's time, will never forget that whinny.

We buried him on our property and I am going to pick up some flowers to plant at his new home. I think that will make me feel better knowing that I fixed his new home up, he is never forgotten.

Equinelaw, I thank you for being able to open this thread and give me your support. I support you too <<hugs>>>

[arabhorse2]

Ozone, one more thing.

There will be anger. It will hit you out of the blue, and eat at you.

The first few months after Conny's death, I was griefstricken. No anger, just totally heartsick. I'm glad I had the other two to care for, because otherwise I'd have fallen into an even deeper depression than the one in which I found myself.

The anger came after the initial grief, and it made me think and say some things that I regret.

I was mad as hell that it had to be Conny who died, and not one of the animals whom I loved less. That was hard to admit, even to myself. We want to think we're better than that, and that we love all our animals equally, and it's just not so.

I was pissed off that the world didn't stop when he died, because dammitalltohell my world had been shattered, so why wasn't everyone else sad too?

This is a normal stage of grief from what I've been told, so don't be surprised when it hits you.

I'm past that now, and realize that as long as I loved Conny and gave him everything I could during his lifetime and that final day, it's okay that he wasn't the center of the universe for the whole world. As long as he was the center of my universe, that's all that mattered.

I grieve for anyone who goes through the loss of a loved one, animal or human. The only thing that helps is knowing others have been there before you, and understand what you're going through.

[SUECLOUDY]

So Sorry for your loss. We never really get over the loss of our beloved animals we just go on, time does help ease the raw pain, but the hole in your heart never leaves.
RIP and Huggs to you.

[Trevelyan96]

Ozone, (((HuGS))) for your loss. Take comfort in knowing that you gave him a good long life, with all the love that all horses deserve and many do no get.

We lost our Trav in February, and its still hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that he's gone. He was my 'first baby' and I so much a part of our family that it just isn't the same, even though I still have Rico and now a new horse.

RIP Bob. Run free like the colt you once were and wait for your person to meet you at the bridge.

[JohnDeere]

Ditto. This is the first such thread I have been able to open. Hurt to be reminded. So I guess time helps some, but much more time then we might expect.

Truer words, equine law.Its the price we pay for loving them. :sadsmile:

Ive gotten past the daily missing of Dobbin but when a thread like this one pops us I still tear up inside. It does take a while to lessen and nothing but time will help you get over it. I found another face to love (dont ask how that one turned out, but things are better now) and that helped. Nickers are good medicine.

Cyberhugs to all whove lost horses.

[purplnurpl]

Very sad day for me ....

Our 40 year old pony Bob passed away last night. He went down in his stall, and basically his heart gave out. :sadsmile: I am completely distraught. He taught 100's a kids to ride, he had more wisdom the many people, he was a lover and a fighter. All of my life he has been at the barn... now he is gone and I don't think I will ever feel the same about the barn.

He is running free in the wind. He is laying down in a grassy field... something he has no been able to do for years now. I miss him so much. :cry: How do you deal?

You think about how lucky you are to have had him for 40 years. Many of us will be lucky enough to have our best buds for 20.

And you thank your stars that you are so lucky to have a horse die of old age and not have to make the decision to euthanize him.

And you smile every time you see the little guys bright eyes and cute ears in your mind. And you feel sad not for what you have HAD, but for the people that go through life never having such an experience.

You have not lost him, just outlived him.

My one wish in this world is to outlive my horse's full lifetime. I don't want to lose him the way most go.

: )
Celebrate his life.

[QueenofHearts]

I have looked over this thread a few times already and haven't ever posted because I always start crying. I believe I have finally found my way to cope with the loss of my horse. I buried him last fall on his hill overlooking our pond. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. And I cry every day, without fail. Usually just a few silent tears (though at the moment I am bawling). After Fox's death, I gave up horses, I leased out my paint. And I haven't been able to really look at or care for horses since.

Well, to make a long story short, I finally decided that I was wasting my time greiving when I knew full well that my Fox had never greived for a minute of his life. He was doer and thats why I love him so much. It use to be me always hanging back and him going "Come On, lest DO IT!!!!" So, Ive to DO IT. I've started a fund to help rescue horses in his name. And currently, (I just posted about this in a different thread) I am in the process of helping a sad draft. I know it sounds silly, but I needed that greiving period and now, I need the get-my-life-going-again period. I don't know what the future holds with me ever competing again, that part of horses I dont care about anymore. But for Fox, since he was the help I needed in high school, college, firefighting, in his name I will help others.

Yikes, that was long. I guess what I have to say is, don't forget, let the love you had for your horse make continue to be an important part of your life.

[Ozone]

I have looked over this thread a few times already and haven't ever posted because I always start crying. I believe I have finally found my way to cope with the loss of my horse. I buried him last fall on his hill overlooking our pond. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. And I cry every day, without fail. Usually just a few silent tears (though at the moment I am bawling). After Fox's death, I gave up horses, I leased out my paint. And I haven't been able to really look at or care for horses since.

Well, to make a long story short, I finally decided that I was wasting my time greiving when I knew full well that my Fox had never greived for a minute of his life. He was doer and thats why I love him so much. It use to be me always hanging back and him going "Come On, lest DO IT!!!!" So, Ive to DO IT. I've started a fund to help rescue horses in his name. And currently, (I just posted about this in a different thread) I am in the process of helping a sad draft. I know it sounds silly, but I needed that greiving period and now, I need the get-my-life-going-again period. I don't know what the future holds with me ever competing again, that part of horses I dont care about anymore. But for Fox, since he was the help I needed in high school, college, firefighting, in his name I will help others.

Yikes, that was long. I guess what I have to say is, don't forget, let the love you had for your horse make continue to be an important part of your life.

Awe Queen, I got the chills when I read the first part of your post. "On his hill overlooking his pond" made me cry for him and for my Bob as he has his special place to. We called him "King of the Hill" ... I am so glad that you are back doing what you love so much! It is day 3 1/2 and I am just a mess but reading all your threads of support here - all of you, I know I am not alone, not that I thought I was to begin with but hearing the love from all of you to your loss of your loved horse makes ME feel better about losing Bob.

CONNY's MOM, The anger part? Yep I am sorry but I think I chewed someone out on the Vet threads (About the wooden shoes, someone was saying that it's a midevil method etc and I went buck wild and posted because Bob wore those shoes and the person posting knew nothing about them. I should go and apologize but it is all Bob induced.

I miss him so very much! Thank you all!

[arabhorse2]

The anger part? Yep I am sorry but I think I chewed someone out on the Vet threads (About the wooden shoes, someone was saying that it's a midevil method etc and I went buck wild and posted because Bob wore those shoes and the person posting knew nothing about them. I should go and apologize but it is all Bob induced.

Ozone, that was BTR, who knows nothing, and thinks she knows everything. If it were me, I wouldn't apologize to her. :D

BTR is nothing but a troll, and only hangs out in the Horse Care forum spouting her "wisdom" to everyone. Don't feel bad about going off on her. She's not worth your apology! :lol:

You will never not miss Bob, dear. It'll be two years in July for me, and I still cry over losing my little bay demon in horse form. Not as often of course, but once in awhile.

[redears]

Please accept my sympathy, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Timely for me, I just had a dream about my beloved gelding who passed nearly 9 years ago, this dream was different though, instead of being preserved in his gorgeous 8 year old body, he was in what would be an older horse's body, his coat lacked the lustre it usually had and he looked scrawny (he was 16.1 hands and around 1500lbs, I don't know how he could ever look scrawny!!) but in my dream it was, and came about another degree of acceptance.

Life is never the same after losing them, but you'll get through.

[Nezzy]

Very sad day for me ....

Our 40 year old pony Bob passed away last night. He went down in his stall, and basically his heart gave out. :sadsmile: I am completly distraught. He taught 100's a kids to ride, he had more wisdom the many people, he was a lover and a fighter. All of my life he has been at the barn... now he is gone and I don't think I will ever feel the same about the barn.

He is running free in the wind. He is laying down in a grassy field... something he has no been able to do for years now. I miss him so much. :cry: How do you deal?


Wow, you were so lucky to have 40 years with a great Pony. Not many of us get to hug them for that long. It takes months to get over them. literally. you will find yourself crying at the market when you look at carrots or in the car when a sad country song comes on, but i am sure Bob deserved every single tear. Big Hugs. it will be a difficult year for you. One thing we did was have a tree planted in Tango's name. Made a donation to a rescue. Honor his memory.

[username]

ditto that last...can't talk and can barely see to write this but, umm sorry....