spinoff - cat euthanasia question - RIP Autumn

[pony89]

My 14 year old cat was diagnosed with CRF last November, w/very high kidney values (BUN - 192? Creat. - over 10? . It took about 3 weeks of Sub-Q fluids to get her feeling better, but then we enjoyed several very good months.

A kidney panel in January showed kidney values in the normal range, but she wasn't eating well. She showed signs of pain/nausea while eating (teeth grinding, lip smacking, turning her head while she chews.) There were no obvious dental issue, no visible lesions. She is a poor risk for anesthesia due to the kidney failure and we haven't been able to find any problem in order to justify the risk, it would just be an experiment. We reduced her fluids since the kidney values were so low, and she miraculously picked up eating again

About 3 weeks ago, she stopped eating. Bloodwork shows BUN at 66, elevated liver values, and an infection. Given her history of apparent pain while eating, the vet (not my regular) theorizes that she may have some type of oral infection, and prescribes ClinDrops, an antibiotic. Within 2 days, she has terrible diarrhea. Temporary vet says this should go away in a day or two, but naturally, it doesn't and this falls on the weekend, so we don't know if we should stay on it or not. The vet has us discontinue it on Monday after 5 days on it, and start two medications that act as anti inflammatories on the digestive tract. He thinks she has some type of GI problem that is at the root of her lack of appetite, pain while eating, and weight loss. She steadily improves, but is still never great, but now that the short term anti inflammatory is done, the diarrhea is back.

In the meantime, we have been syringe feeding her this whole time (three weeks now). She tolerates it ok, but it is hard on her (and us). She's getting medication 2x per day (pepcid and anti-inflammatories), fluid 2x a day, and the occasional bath. When the diarrhea is at it's worst, she has to stay in a large dog crate w/food, water, a blankie to sit on, and a litter box when we aren't home to watch her. On the other hand, the weather is starting to turn, and we've been able to open the windows for her to sit in and she has been enjoying sitting in sunbeams or seeking out the occasional snuggle. Still, she is just kind of "blah."

I am incredibly torn. The CRF is actually very well managed, and if we could somehow turn the corner on the GI stuff, we could have another happy year or two. If we can't, then I have already put her through too much. I felt it was worth a try since we got her past a slump back in November, and she keeps improving just enough that I am having a hard time knowing what to do. We just haven't had that dramatic improvement, yet, and she just isn't really eating on her own still, even after showing interest in food.

I am afraid that if I put her down now, it might be because I am feeling so tired and stressed with the constant syringe feeding and medication. I don't mind it for a short time to get a pet going in the right direction, but I feel like it is dragging on and on. I can't tell if she is in pain or not now that the inflammation is lessened, or if she is stoic and is hurting. I keep reading all of these stories about cats who finally started eating again, and I'm afraid I just haven't tried hard enough yet. I wish I'd pursued the pain further in January, but she started eating so well, and the kidney values were so good, that I just left her alone and enjoyed her. I don't know what to do.

Any advice?

[avezan]

You have done so much for this kitty! The decision of euthanasia is so personal. There is certainly the advice, better too soon than too late. But whatever you decide, don't feel guilty. You have gone above and beyond what most people would do to make this kitty comfortable. I'm sure he appreciates it and understands what you are doing for him. If you make the decision to euthanize him, keep in mind that he had a long and happy life knowing that he was well loved. Don't think about "what ifs" or other stories about other cats. Now if I could just convince myself to follow this advice. In the last 2 weeks I have had to euthanize 3 animals. A 16 year old dog, a 25 year old horse and a young cat. I keep thinking about what other treatments I could have tried with the horse. Did I euthanize the dog too soon? She was in acute renal failure and not eating. As I read your post I though, gee, should I have tried syringe feeding? Could she have gotten over it and lived another year? Probably not. It is taking a while, but I am starting to be at peace with the decisions. Best wishes to you and your difficult decision ahead.

[f4leggin]

Remember quality of life vs quantity for animals. No matter what you do, chances are you will question your decisions along the way and afterwards. It is part of greiving. At times like the one you are in, I remind myself that it is my job as a pet/livestock owner to make the hard decisions. We are responsible for their care in good times and bad.

If it were me, I would euthanize your kitty. Why? because it sounds like she is not having a high quality of life. If that is wrong, if she appears happy, content, then I wouldn't do it. I had a beloved cat die yesterday and she was 12. I was shocked to see her go down hill the past month (lost a lot of weight) - had her blood work done and an uranlysis -
nothing out of the ordinary was found. In the past week, she was moving around less, having more accidents, and losing interest in food. The night she died, I knew it was coming, and if she had lived until the morning, I would have taken her in. The good news was everyone in the family had a chance to sit with her and love on her that last night. we even got pictures of us with her to remember her by. I did have a necropsy done because I don't like unexplained deaths - she had congestive heart failure.

One thing I found out thru this process was that it is not unusual for cats to die at 12...
Until she got skinny and went down hill so fast, I thought ALL cats lived to be in their 20's.

BTW - every animal I have euthanized (not that there are many), I have questioned my decision before and after - it's not an easy one to make. But, there is not one that I think was the "wrong" decision, and although I question the decision at times, I know I love my animals, and feel the responsibility as their owner, and trust that I do the right thing. As much as you have done for this kitty - you have got to know you have her best interest at heart, love her very much and would do anything to save her if it was possible and best for her.

Jill

[Holly Jeanne]

You have done the best possible by your kitty and have no reason to feel any guilt if you do make the decision. Of course, no one can tell you what to do. I had to put down a 6 1/2 yo cat in February. One day he didn't finish his meals, the next day he was diagnosed with poor kidney function, the day after he was back at the vets on IV's and 6 days later I made the decision. I don't know you or your cat but I did know mine and I saw it in his eyes. He was tired of the treatments and was going downhill rapidly. I knew he didn't want to do the treatments anymore and vet and I both felt there was little chance they would give him a good quality of life. :cry: I'm still brokenhearted but I think it was the right decision at the right time for that cat and I'm hoping it doesn't get to that point for a very long time for the 10 yo one that's sick now (different issue). Sending big virtual hugs.

[pony89]

If it were me, I would euthanize your kitty. Why? because it sounds like she is not having a high quality of life. If that is wrong, if she appears happy, content, then I wouldn't do it.

This is why I am having a hard time - there are days when she does so well! I feel especially guilty because we inadvertantly skipped a dose of one of her medications and she didn't get it until the next morning. Was that the issue that ended her good spell? It is just so up and down.

I talked to DH who checked on her over lunch. I think I will take her in tomorrow :cry: I feel so bad...if I could have seen the future and known it would end this way, I would have done this two weeks ago. But she recovered once before when her bloodwork was worse. If I had done this two weeks ago without knowing the future, I would have always wondered if I could have gotten her feeling better since it appeared that her main problem was maybe just an abcessed tooth or something. Unfortunately, the antibiotic seems to have irritated her GI tract and set this off and we just can't get it turned around. I should have put my foot down and taken her off it the first minute she looked sicker. Poor kitty. I feel like I really let her down.

[Holly Jeanne]

I should have put my foot down and taken her off it the first minute she looked sicker. Poor kitty. I feel like I really let her down.

Heartbreaking I know. Sometime it feels like we are trying to play God but we aren't. We're only humans trying to do the best we can for our animals with the information we have available at any given time. You are trying to do what's best for her and I'll bet she knows that.

[f4leggin]

Pony - I know it's hard. I'll keep your family and your kitty in my thoughts today and tomorrow...

Jill

[LarissaL]

Poor kitty. I feel like I really let her down.

Aw, having tried SO much for your kitty there is no way you let her down. I am so sorry to hear that you're having to make the decision for her, and so soon.

I went through something similar with my childhood kitty last spring. The one thought that really helped me was to know I was ALWAYS going to have to make this decision. None of us let her down or failed in some way. We couldn't have prevented her from getting old or sick, and being sick, there was never a doubt that we would need to decide her end for her. She wouldn't get a chance to decide herself and pass peacefully dreaming about fields of catnip and chasing butterflies. Even if our vet could stabilize her condition, we wouldn't be "saving" her. She'd be alive, but not for long, before her body failed her again and broke our hearts all over.

We were fortunate enough to find a local mobile vet who performed the euthanasia at home. I stayed home from work and let her nap and lounge in the sun for hours before the vet arrived.

http://www.geocities.com/unexpectedcat/32.jpg

What a pretty girl. I just noticed today is the one year anniversary. Boohoo, now I'm crying for all the old kitties! I hope you come to peace with your decision. It is the right one, whenever you have to make it.

[Liberty]

We were fortunate enough to find a local mobile vet who performed the euthanasia at home. I stayed home from work and let her nap and lounge in the sun for hours before the vet arrived.


I had my horse vet come do "home euthanasia" last June when my most sweetest guy took a very rapid turn for the worst. He would have turned 20 in December.

I came in from feeding the horses to find he had collapsed on the bed after vomiting all over the place. He was still hanging on by a thread though; shallow breathing but completely unresponsive. Truly, truly broke my heart to find him like that.

I had no doubt he was on his way out, and it was too early to call my small-animal vet, so I called my horse vet. Luckily she was in her office (10 minutes away) and came immediately to make my boy's exit from this world most peaceful. She didn't even charge me an emergency fee; just her usual barn call fee plus the euth meds.

She said it appeared his heart just gave out on him. At his age, I wasn't surprised and figured that was the case.

OP, I feel for you and realize how tough a decision this must be for you. As someone else mentioned, it's quality of life, not quantity, but only you can decide what's best for your little girl.

You both will be in my thoughts and prayers. You will make the right decision.

[Tornado Run Farm]

The last time I went through this was last fall with my 15yo kitty, Opal -- she had bone cancer. She had been in and out of the vet's office for a few weeks, then one night she got in my lap and looked up at me and I knew she was in incredible pain. I took her to the vet on a Saturday night. I knew it was time to let her go, and I did. You'll know, too. :cry:

[JeanM]

I've had to "take that trip" twice now. First time, my wonderful Oliver had been losing weight & feeding an abdominal tumor for maybe 6 months. He was doing fine, as to food & litter box & quality of life, until suddenly one morning he made it clear that the quality of life was no longer there. As practical as I consider myself to be about euthanasia, I still needed the vet to prod me during my phone call. I KNEW it was time, but good Lord, it is so hard to take that step!! I felt so relieved when it was done, though.

I had to take Oliver's "sister" (adopted from Humane Society with Oliver), Arabella, in December. Again, she'd been wasting away for months - except for the tumor in her abdomen that was doing very well, thank you :no:. Quality of life was great, I thought, despite her becoming a walking skeleton -- but having increasing difficulty getting up on furniture. I absolutely SHOULD HAVE known that it was time when she started urinating outside the litter box. Well, I didn't make the connection. A day or two later, it was clearly "that time" when I got home; I called the vet just after 5:00 that evening (they're open 'til 7:00). This time, though, I dealt with the office staff and the gal wouldn't make any effort whatsoever to let me bring Bella in that evening. Oh no, first app't wasn't 'til late the next morning. :mad: I tried calling another vet, but they had just closed. I watched my beloved cat deteriorate over the next few hours and at 8:30 called a 24 hour clinic and made the trek there with Bella driving through the cold rain, crying. All much harder than it needed to be, all around.

Lesson I hope I will remember: when it is obvious that the beloved pet is getting close to the end, do NOT wait until it is at death's door and miserable. Animals don't count days, they just live. If life is miserable, don't prolong it. I wish we humans could be given the same grace.

[magnolia73]

I took my Jasmine to the vet to be euthanized last summer. she was very ill- alternating between looking like she was dying and looking perky and happy. One night, she fell asleep and I could not wake her up. I assumed she was dying. She awoke. The next day it was sunny and she seemed better. I gave her some wet cat food gravy, she ate it, waddled out into the sun, said good bye to her friends and then I took her in. She went peacefully. I'm glad her last hours on earth were pleasant.

She had kidney failure and several other issues. There was no "repairing" her.

We waited with the dog. It was heartbreaking for me to have to carry him into the vet. He was a 100 lb dog. I feel like we let him go too long.

[cowgirljenn]

I feel for you. And I think euthanasia is a personal decision. So I am NOT offering advice, just my story.

I bottled raised LilyBear starting at about 4 weeks of age. She was the sweetest and funniest cat you would ever meet, and everyone loved her. When she was a little over 3 years old, she stopped eating. We took her to the vet who diagnosed kidney failure. His cost for treatment was in the thousands, so we ended up taking her to a friend who is a vet who lives about 3 hours away. She treated her. Never got her values to normal, but she got Lily's values manageable. So we brought her home to continue the fluids and all. She did ok for a few weeks, and then she got more and more picky to eat. I gave her part of Pepcid tablet daily (check with your vet before doing this) and the vet changed her fluids to once daily (instead of every other day).

She stopped eating all together and I started force feeding her. I SWORE I would never force feed an animal, but I found myself doing it in a desperate attempt to save her.

One day, she was in the cat tree and started screaming. I ran in there to find that she could't use her back legs. I was stuck at home with no way to get her to the vets, and if I could have euthanaized her myself, I would have. I made her comfortable and sat with her, and we got her to the vet the next morning. By the time we got her there, she was barely still there and she went quickly after the injection.

I feel guilty to this day for putting her through so much. When she stopped eating and nothing could change it, I wish I had let her go. I miss her so badly still.... CRF just sucks. *sigh*

[lolalola]

Over the years, I've been guilty of letting my pets hang on too long rather than euthanize them before they really went downhill. This week I had my old beagle put to sleep. She was still eating - that made the decision difficult. But she had to strain to defecate and was losing bladder control. I probably should have done it a few weeks ago - but it's always a hard decision, even when you know it is for the best.

[pony89]

She has an appointment at 9, but of course she is making it hard for me by being extra bright and more snuggly than she's been in weeks this morning. I am trying to remember how miserable and uncomfortable she was last night, when I wished I could have taken her in immediately. I'm trying to remind myself that she is probably feeling better since her stomach is empty (I didn't make her eat last night or this morning, although she has food available. She always feels worse after she eats.) I can't exactly let her starve to death. I'm thankful for the nice spring morning so she can spend it in the windowsill.

[jen-s]

E-hugs are with you and your kitty. For those of use who have been in a similar spot, we know how hard the decision is. I'm so glad she's had a morning in the windowsill and people that love her so much.

[pony89]

She's gone. She had a morning of snuggling, watching out the window, and a little bit of tuna juice. My husband played the guitar for her because she would always come running if anyone played any music. It was very peaceful. Poor kitty, I feel so bad. But the bad days were getting too frequent, and the good days just weren't that great anymore. She was kneading on the fleece sweatshirt that I put in her crate on the way there, and I wanted to turn around so badly, she hasn't been feeling well enough to do that in a while. But she would sometimes groan if you picked her up, and she just wouldn't eat, and it was just time. Or maybe past time. Poor kitty :cry: Love you, Autumn.

[cowgirljenn]

*hugs* I am so sorry. She'll be waiting for you, you know.. (I do believe that).

[Tornado Run Farm]

She'll be waiting for you, you know.. (I do believe that).

I believe that, too. I'm very sorry for your loss..

[BasqueMom]

Hugs and RIP dear Autumn!

[Laurierace]

Godspeed Autumn. I know you are eternally grateful for the gift you were given today.

[JeanM]

Goodbye Autumn. you know you had the best of loving humans who 'belonged' to you.

[f4leggin]

Goodbye Autumn - and pony - I feel your pain.. It is hard.

Love Jill

[amdfarm]

RIP Autumn! ((((HUGS)))) to you and your hubby, Pony. :(

[hansiska]

Hugs to you!

I'm trying to make the same decision. My 15 yr old kitty has gone from her usual immaculate black and white self to a thin cat with a filthy coat in the last 10 months. She was feral when I accidentally trapped her 14 years ago while trapping her latest litter of kittens.

She and her kittens were certain to become coyote food if I didn't catch them and try to find them homes. (Ask me how I know...) I thought at the time that she was far too wild to rehab, so I had her fixed and brought her home. Every morning I'd wake up with her asleep against my feet but when I moved she'd run and hide. I caught her daily and petted her until she purred, then let her go. It took a long time for her to relax around people. After five years, she jumped into my lap for the first time.

I can't put this delicately, so I'll just say it: her bowels have gone on her. Her stool is nearly liquid and sometimes explosive. To say the least, it's not very hygienic having her around the house. Letting her outside is not an option; I live on a busy street and there's a fisher cat in the woods near my house. But my kitty still purrs when I pet her...

My sister, a longtime vet tech, says it's time, but it's such a hard decision to make when the cat seems happy. :(

Sorry -- I don't mean to hijack the thread. I'm very sorry for you. I'm sure it was the right decision.

[pony89]

Thank you so much for all of your kind thoughts. I am very sad, but in some ways relieved that it is over. It was very hard to deal with. I don't mind spending so much time caring for a pet to get them through a bad spot, but when it drags on and becomes apparent that she just can't get better, it's just not fair to anyone. I really miss her today, though. It is a beautiful day, and she would have enjoyed soaking up the spring sunshine.

Autumn (http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2751031560101817720pjbTWc?vhost=pets)




I can't put this delicately, so I'll just say it: her bowels have gone on her. Her stool is nearly liquid and sometimes explosive. To say the least, it's not very hygienic having her around the house. Letting her outside is not an option; I live on a busy street and there's a fisher cat in the woods near my house. But my kitty still purrs when I pet her...

My sister, a longtime vet tech, says it's time, but it's such a hard decision to make when the cat seems happy. :(

Sorry -- I don't mean to hijack the thread. I'm very sorry for you. I'm sure it was the right decision.

This was the problem we had after we tried to give her the antibiotic to fix the dental issue :( On the days that it was especially bad, we had a very large dog crate set up for her with a litter box in it for when we couldn't supervise her - as long as she was very close to the box, she did her best to use it. You just have to clean it very frequently. We lined it with towels that we changed and washed once or twice a day. We also had 4 litter boxes out, set up next to each of her favorite napping spots, so that if she had an urgent need she could easily get to a box. They are only 3 dollars or so. We had an easily cleaned room that we sometimes contained her in with a box. We don't have kids or anything, though, so we were able to devote more time to supervising and cleaning than some people can.

This was ultimately why we had to put her to sleep - her diarrhea apparently signified some type of very uncomfortable digestive issue. You can imagine it doesn't feel good to have explosive diarrhea for days on end. For the time that she was hanging in there, the litter boxes all over the house helped make it bearable, and I think it made her feel better not to be having accidents, too. Good luck with your kitty. I know this makes it hard because it made me feel like I was contemplating euthanasia for my own convenience. In my case, though, I felt that she was in a lot of discomfort with the bathroom issues, plus the refusal to eat. In the end I didn't feel like I had a choice. The only reason we took as long to decide as we did is because she was on a medication that seemed to be helping for a time and we wanted to give it a chance, but it just didn't help enough.

[pony89]

Did I euthanize the dog too soon? She was in acute renal failure and not eating. As I read your post I though, gee, should I have tried syringe feeding? Could she have gotten over it and lived another year? Probably not. It is taking a while, but I am starting to be at peace with the decisions. Best wishes to you and your difficult decision ahead.

I just wanted to comment on this that I think you made the right decision with your dog. The only reason that I syringe fed is that she had developed a problem cats can get called Fatty Liver disease from not eating - a side effect is lack of appetite, and it is treated by making sure they get enough calories. I probably would not have done this with a dog, and the only reason that I did it with the cat was because of the liver issue. It stresses most animals out more than it helps them, but she was tolerating it unusually well.

[hansiska]

Thanks Pony, those are really good suggestions.

[Holly Jeanne]

I just want to send my sympathies. It sounds like you did the right thing for her regardless of how hard it was for you. :cry:

[SkipHiLad4me]

I'm so sorry to hear of Autumn's passing. :no: I *just* went through this with my kitty less than 2 weeks ago so I know exactly what you're going through. Although I knew in my mind that I was making the right choice for my kitty, I still was distraught over what I had done. Deciding "when" is such a hard thing and it's hard not to second guess yourself. You want the good days to out number the bad days. You went well out of your way to provide your kitty a happy, loving home and for that I know she was very thankful.

[pony89]

Thanks so much. I am still kicking myself that I didn't maybe try one more thing. She had just come off one of her medications 4 days earlier, and the vet said that if she had problems, she might need to be back on it. I never tried putting her back on it, and I feel guilty about that. But the night before we put her down, she was so uncomfortable. If I could have put her down myself, I would have done it right then.

I feel just terrible that she seemed brighter the next day, and wonder if her bad day was because of a late dose of medication a few days earlier. Maybe I should have waited another week to see if she might have gotten any better. I was just envisioning her going down hill over the weekend while the vet was closed. And even on her best day over the last month, she hadn't eaten anything by herself. I wish I had just risked the anesthesia and gotten her teeth cleaned, maybe that was somehow the issue.

The vet told me that I gave it every shot, and that it was better to put her down on a day that she was feeling good than wait until it was awful. He said that even with her ups and downs, the overall trend was downhill. But I just think of her on her last morning insisting that I open the bedroom door so she could sleep on the bed, and purring loudly when I picked her up. It's hard to remember that the day before, she was losing her balance climbing out of the litter box and groaning if I moved her. Maybe it was because I didn't give her enough fluids that day. I just can't stop second guessing myself. I wish I had taken her for more checkups - I mainly updated the vet by email and we tried different things that way, and I brought her in for bloodwork, etc., but he hadn't officially seen her in a few months before the last few weeks. I know that I tried, maybe more than some people would have, but I think I made some mistakes. :cry:

[tikihorse2]

I'm so sorry about your kitty! Please don't beat yourself up--

*****HUGS*****

Kim

[SevenDogs]

Thanks so much. I am still kicking myself that I didn't maybe try one more thing. She had just come off one of her medications 4 days earlier, and the vet said that if she had problems, she might need to be back on it. I never tried putting her back on it, and I feel guilty about that. But the night before we put her down, she was so uncomfortable. If I could have put her down myself, I would have done it right then.

I feel just terrible that she seemed brighter the next day, and wonder if her bad day was because of a late dose of medication a few days earlier. Maybe I should have waited another week to see if she might have gotten any better. I was just envisioning her going down hill over the weekend while the vet was closed. And even on her best day over the last month, she hadn't eaten anything by herself. I wish I had just risked the anesthesia and gotten her teeth cleaned, maybe that was somehow the issue.

The vet told me that I gave it every shot, and that it was better to put her down on a day that she was feeling good than wait until it was awful. He said that even with her ups and downs, the overall trend was downhill. But I just think of her on her last morning insisting that I open the bedroom door so she could sleep on the bed, and purring loudly when I picked her up. It's hard to remember that the day before, she was losing her balance climbing out of the litter box and groaning if I moved her. Maybe it was because I didn't give her enough fluids that day. I just can't stop second guessing myself. I wish I had taken her for more checkups - I mainly updated the vet by email and we tried different things that way, and I brought her in for bloodwork, etc., but he hadn't officially seen her in a few months before the last few weeks. I know that I tried, maybe more than some people would have, but I think I made some mistakes. :cry:

Please don't do this to yourself. I doubt very seriously that anything else you did could have made a big difference. Even if it had made a small difference, what are we talking about.... days? Even then, the cat would have had to experience another "downturn".

I have made the painful decision to euthanize older pets several times. Unfortunately, I waited too long on one of my horses and she ended up in pain. I can assure you that losing a few good days at the end is nothing compared to knowing you caused unnecessary suffering by waiting too long.

Please be kind to yourself. Your cat has only love for you and all that you did for her.

[HorsesinHaiti]

Much as you want to be, you are neither perfect nor psychic. And you don't have to be - she loved you bunches anyway.