Another WWYD Boarding Situation... (long)

[appychik]

Well, I thought everything was a go for potentially moving the boys to the BF's parents house. Thought would be the key word.

Gringo was boarded there for 9 months, a year ago and I paid $150 a month. Not bad at all and I supplied his grain. He was fed hay and grain once a day, hay'd twice a day in the winter if it was extremely cold. A pasture board situation where she also applied fly spray (I supplied) in the summer... he thrived. Was not blanketed. Had access to a stall in barn if absolutely needed, but none of the horses were ever stalled. I had to be around for all appointments, vet and farrier. (Barn was a private barn, just BF's parents horses).

He was moved closer (just 10 minutes away versus an hour) because the vet gave the go ahead to start working him again (fractured coffin bone). Couldn't work him consistently when he was so far away and I had another horse to work. Regardless, Gringo is not in work anymore. I pay $125 a month where he's at now... supply my own grain. Grained once a day and has hay twice a day. Stalled at night, out during day. BO applies fly spray, mask, etc. but won't change blankets. He's not exactly thriving... but is doing okay. No charge for extras (like the fly spray or heated water bucket which I supplied). I need to be around for all vet & farrier appointments. (Barn is also a private barn, with BO's horses).

Now Gus is in a full care situation also. Pay $300 month as a base cost ($320 in winter if you supply a heated water bucker, or $315 in summer if you supply a fan). Out during day, in at night. Grain and hay twice a day. Gets lots of hay. This is the only barn (of the three listed) that has a heated lounge (or a lounge period!) and a heated arena. Love the arena in the winter. Gus is thriving... but, he's never going to return to his former glory. Just another glorified pasture ornament who can handle walk (occassional trot) trail rides. No cost to apply fly spray (if I supply). Won't change blankets (but sometimes will if I can't make it and I ask nicely). Charges for handling for vet if I can't make it out, farrier doesn't need help with Gus. (Public boarding facility that I've boarded at for 10 years).

So, I wanted to bring both boys back to BF's parents house. Why? Because I'd like both of them to be back together. I think I can give them both more time if they are at the same boarding place. Can't afford to have both where Gus is at now (would love to, but just can't justify the $$$) and there is no room, nor would I want, Gus where Gringo is at now.

Talked to the BF. His mom says it would be $400 month for both horses, $500 in the winter for the increase in hay they'd go thru. Pretty darn cheap, except, I'm paying around $450 right now for where they are at currently - and have much more lavish ammenities. I wouldn't be down grading care (probably upgrading) but I wouldn't have an arena to ride Gus in anymore... probably just ride in the pasture. But we are close to some very nice trails.

I plan on taking to the BF again to see if his mom would consent to $350 month for both, and that would be me "working" at least one day a week (so dispensing hay and grain in the evenings) and one weekend a month. Not sure if it'd work... but I'd be willing to do that to offset some of the costs.

Currently where Gringo is at, I'm working 1 weekend a month (so Fri pm - Sun am at bare minimum) to offset costs, otherwise it'd be $150 month. However, his BO is milking me for all I got. She's constantly calling last minute asking if I can bring horses in, or do this or do that. Prior to moving Gringo there, we were paid $15 for "pm" chores or $30 for all day (am stalls, feeding the EIGHT house cats and cleaning litterboxes and pm bringing horses in (total of 5 horses at the time) plus hay & grain). So, I'm a bit disgruntled about getting taking advantage of in that situation but am a tad chicken to speak up :(.

So, WWYD about the boarding situation?

[fordtraktor]

I would not, under any circumstances, consider putting my horses on a BF's family's place.

What if one gets hurt? Sick? And you think it might have been/was their fault? What if, God forbid, you and BF break up? What if you get married -- will there always be tension over the fact that Dobbin got hurt, both sides said things they didn't mean, and...? The list goes on and on. It is not worth the potential for personal-life disaster.

[appychik]

I see what you're saying, but both horses are already hurt. Both have career-ending injuries as it is. His mom takes the utmost care of her horses, the best I've seen. She's got four oldies, the fifth was pts this fall, she was 32. The oldest now is 31, then the three kids... all in their late 20s.

BF and I have just passed the three year mark. Who knows about the future, but well, I do see what you're saying. Plus the boys would be out by themselves (just the two of them) so the can't really injure the others, just each other.

Anyways, thanks for your comments. Any other suggestions peeps?

[stryder]

I think you should be talking to BF's mom directly, not through BF. Put it on an adult, business basis. Speaking with confidence directly to the person who makes the decisions, or can change things, is a great life skill. Now's the time to practice.

good luck.

[RockinHorse]

I think you should be talking to BF's mom directly, not through BF. Put it on an adult, business basis. Speaking with confidence directly to the person who makes the decisions, or can change things, is a great life skill. Now's the time to practice.

good luck.

I completely agree :yes:

[Posting Trot]

I agree about talking to the BF's mom directly. Put this on a business basis as much as possible. That would make it much less likely to go south if you and the BF split up.

Talk to the mom, get a contract (which I suspect you're going to feel a little weird about, but get it anyway) that specifies cost and responsibilities. And then be a good boarder: pay on time, do what is specified in the contract, don't expect to be treated specially because you're the girlfriend.

Perhaps even turn yourself into a totally wonderful boarder: Maybe pitch in to help with a few repairs around the barn; offer occasionally to do the run to the feed store, etc. Give her chocolates and home-made cookies on her birthday. You want to make it so that if you and the BF break up, the mother will be upset at her son for having possibly wrecked a good thing.:winkgrin:

Good luck.

[Jealoushe]

I say pay the $500, and if the mom is for it work off what you can. I wouldn't try and bargain on prices too much, money is important right now and so is cheap board.

[ReSomething]

I think you should be talking to BF's mom directly, not through BF. Put it on an adult, business basis. Speaking with confidence directly to the person who makes the decisions, or can change things, is a great life skill. Now's the time to practice.

good luck.

I guess I'll fourth this. Changes the dynamic completely.

[appychik]

:) I should talk to her, but you guys don't understand... she EATS GFs for a snack!!! :yes: Just kidding. Actually, we got along great when Gringo was there last time (just under a year ago he left). We left under good terms. I always paid board on time. Brought homemade goodies to her (well, the BF cause he's always there on the weekends) and in exchange got fresh eggs and a great BO.

But, I think the $500 is steep, even $400. The grow/harvest their own hay (BF does it actually) and sell the excess. He says that the hay the boys would go thru justifies the cost of boarding at $400 a month during summer months and $500 in the winter. What changed (in hay consumption) from last year to this year? Nothing. They still have their extra hay from last year yet, as he (the BF) still hasn't sold it. Gringo is an easy keeper... it would be Gus that I'm most worried about, weight wise.

A year a go the board was $150 for Gringo... I don't think that much has changed (and certainly his hay intake hasn't increased) to justify a $50 increase in 9 months. Certainly the economy has changed, but they are down on the number of horses also, so theorectically they will be going thru about the same amount of hay as they were when Gringo was there before. If that makes sense at all.

Anyways, going to talk to the BF later this afternoon. His mom is really intimidating... like really. :eek: Oh well, lovely lady and nice family. We'll see what we can accomplish.

[sketcher]

[QUOTE=appychik;3945005]:)
But, I think the $500 is steep, even $400. The grow/harvest their own hay (BF does it actually) and sell the excess. He says that the hay the boys would go thru justifies the cost of boarding at $400 a month during summer months and $500 in the winter. What changed (in hay consumption) from last year to this year? Nothing. They still have their extra hay from last year yet, as he (the BF) still hasn't sold it. Gringo is an easy keeper... it would be Gus that I'm most worried about, weight wise.

A year a go the board was $150 for Gringo... I don't think that much has changed (and certainly his hay intake hasn't increased) to justify a $50 increase in 9 months. Certainly the economy has changed, but they are down on the number of horses also, so theorectically they will be going thru about the same amount of hay as they were when Gringo was there before. If that makes sense at all.

QUOTE]

I think the cost has gone up, possibly by that amount. Or, she cut you some slack the first time around and didn't want to make waves by raising your board but now that you want to come back she is asking for what it really costs.

What difference does it make that they have hay left from last year? - when gasoline was $4.00 per gallon btw, not to mention the cost of deisel which ran the equipment that baled the hay.

If you are going to nitpick over $50/bale then I think you ought to stay away. I think anyone who takes in a boarder is a saint, to take in one who is going to feel put upon by $50 bucks definitely wouldn't be worth the family stress.

[minnie]

Most places you'd be paying that much for ONE horse. Count your lucky stars and ante up.

[manyspots]

I believe there are many reasons why board rates are set and they certainly vary from individual and facility... my first thought is she is doing a favor and maybe believes that favor justifys the price.

What you really need to consider is the savings or advantages moving to BF's mom's barn will give you. You already said you want the boys together and I am assuming they will get to actually be out together?

I left a pretty nice barn last year and moved to BF's best friend's wife barn (does that make sense????). We were pretty good friends before I moved in. Her barn is no frills, and I paid the same as I did at the show barn BUT there were many more advantages, such as 24/7 turnout and trails galore. Plus this was a backyard situation and private, not a show barn like I came from. I did leave friends some amenities when I moved, but overall, my geldings thrived. They are now home and I am actually tackling the issue of letting BF's mom bring her new horse to my barn. There are a variety of reasons why I am leaning towards no.... but I love her to death. Honestly for me, the board (even at $325 a month... nice little addition to the check book) isn't an issue, it's the work load. I work full time 40-60 hours a week (depending on the time of year) and I have such a great routine set with my two geldings (one of which is my best friend's gelding) I just don't want to disrupt that.

Overall, no matter how great your relationship is with BF, HAVE A CONTRACT! I did when I moved the the friend's barn and would say it is a great idea. It clearly defines who is responsible for what. Also, you need to have this conversation with mom direct and offer to work one day a week. If she says sure, you can ask if she can give you a break in the board. Don't bring BF into this... these are your horses.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you!!! :D

[LuvMyTB]

If I could find good care for $400 I would be thrilled. That's what I pay now, and the care is going downhill. :no:

Two horses are more work, pasture boarded or not, especially in the winter. So at last year's prices, you would've been paying $300 for both of them. So she's been nice and is only charging you $50 more per horse over the summer, and $100 more per horse over the winter. That covers hay, wear & tear on pastures/fences, and makes it worth HER time.

Plus, she's now responsible for two rather fragile horses.

If you want to board at future in-law's house, I'd suck it up and pay it. Like I said, if I could board 2 horses around here for $500 and be SURE the care was great, I would have a PARTY.

[katarine]

Why aren't you talking directly to the BF's parents? It's your business relationship, it has nothing to do with BF.

[knitgirl]

SHe may have decided she wasn't charging you enough last time, but didn't raise the board then. She may have decided she doesn't really want to do it and is hoping to discourage you with the increase. I would tell her that the reason you want your horses with her is because how impressed with the care she gives to her own.

[fordtraktor]

If you can't talk to BF's mom about boarding there, how are you going to discuss horse care issues when they arise?

I also don't think I would board somewhere where I was terrified of the BO!

[cloudyandcallie]

Tell her and her husband everything you've said here (except the part about her personally:eek:) and see if she will lower the board for you.

If not, keep the boys where they are now till something else comes along.

[lizathenag]

pay the board she charges or board somewhere else. life is too short to be stressing about boarding.

[Jealoushe]

If $500 is too much for what you are getting then look somewhere else. It's their farm and unfortunately they can charge whatever they like. Maybe they lost money last time your horse was there and they don't want to do that again?

It's not just hay, shavings etc...it's the amount of work it also takes to take on 2 more horses.

[Woodland]

Boy I sure hate being low balled because it's a friend or relative.

It costs what it costs, pay it or don't do it. It WILL piss her off to ask her to do it for less :yes: It would sure piss me off!!!

[2LaZ2race]

He says that the hay the boys would go thru justifies the cost of boarding at $400 a month during summer months and $500 in the winter. What changed (in hay consumption) from last year to this year?

Certainly the economy has changed, but they are down on the number of horses also, so theorectically they will be going thru about the same amount of hay as they were when Gringo was there before. If that makes sense at all.

.

I second the person that says don't board with your boyfriend's family. You say that they'll be by themselves but you're an hour away. If your horse colics during the night it's THEM who takes care of it, if they don't notice and it dies you WILL be mad (that's obviously a worse case scenario but you get the idea)

Also the part of your quote that I put in bold is the end point. He said that your horses will eat $500-400 in hay. End of story. If you want to buy $200 worth of hay and see if you make it through the winter than do that, don't argue with their price, it's their call.

Finally your last point about them loosing a horse so yours takes its place. Nooooo They were paying (and by paying I mean the cost of planting, growing and harvesting the hay) for THEIR OWN HORSE, they don't want to pay for yours. That's hay they could save for a future horse or have more to give to the horses they already have.

[katarine]

Has it occured to you they may not want you boarding there? Hence the raising of the rates? Might be a subtle way of saying we're not that into dealing with you and your horse, but if you'll pony up X bucks, we'll deal with it.

Theirs is a private barn. This mess about same amt of hay/less horses...entitlement mentality HOOEY. They don't owe you jackaroo, little one. Remember that.

[pines4equines]

I second the don't haggle over board money with "relatives." People get awfully funny about money, just pay what they want and be done with it. Let them offer to you to defray board expenses by working if you wish.

I personally would stay at the nice barn with the riding arena...