Off feed, Incr resp & Heart Rate - RIP Jack - UPDATE - Pg 8 Necropsy Results

[Fessy's Mom]

Jack, my 11 yo OTTB, had been off his feed since last Thursday, but otherwise acting pretty normal. He started with just eating some of his grain to yesterday not eating any of it, and from eating his hay, but not cleaning it up, to not eating much at all last night.

Yesterday afternoon he started looking heavey to me so I had the vet come out. She said his temp was a little elevated (102) resp was 40 (!) and heart rate was 60 (!). But when she looked at him, she told me "well, he certainly doesn't look like a sick horse!" He was standing there, nibbling hay on the floor, looking around for his buddies. She listened to his heart, which aside from being fast, sounded fine. She then listened to his lungs and said they sounded congested.

You could tell she really didn't have an idea what was wrong, but decided to give him antibiotics (gentocin and penn) to treat for pneumonia. She pulled blood for a CBC which came back normal this morning. We're going to see how he does today and she'll look at him again tomorrow.

Have any of you ever experienced any of these symptoms with one of yours? Any suggestions on what this may be? How on earth could he look so relatively healthy, but have his heart rate and resp be so high? Any thoughts would be really appreciated! :)

[Pancakes]

Some horses are more stoic than others, and while their bodies are reacting (fever, high resp rate, high heart rate), they remain in good attitude and seem okay. When they get sick all of a sudden, sometimes their stress hormones are released and keep them from feeling lethargic, punky, tired, depressed. It might be a short-term thing and I wouldn't be surprised if he started to feel icky in the next few days.

Hopefully, the antibiotics will kick in fairly rapidly and he'll be feeling better (and have normal vital signs again) in no time!

[Fessy's Mom]

That makes sense - thank you Pancakes! :) This horse is NEVER sick, so maybe he just doesn't know how to act when he is. ;)

[Doodlebug1]

Pancakes is right. And it's for the same reason it can be so hard to detect lameness - a wolf or predator, can pick out/sense the weakest from a long way and will force the herd to gallop until the weak fall to the back - they then become dinner. Some horses will still do their damndest not to look sick or lame...

There doesn't seem anything definable at the moment but keep monitoring:

Make sure you monitor wet patches in bedding and also colour of the urine if you can - also regularity and formation of droppings.

Keep taking the temperature - when I'm concerned, I write the temp up on the stall wall in chalk am and pm - then I don't have to run around looking for scraps of paper etc.

Monitor pulse and respiration too.

Try handgrazing to see if you can keep appetite - if he's weaker from lack of food he will get sicker quicker!

Hope it's OK and just a mild virus that'll pass in a few days.

[Pancakes]

Have you traveled with him recently? Any exposure to new horses?
It certainly does sound like a virus, which of course the antibiotics won't help, but whatever he has, the antibiotics will help keep that secondary infection at bay.

The above recommendations are good -- just keep an eye on him and monitor his appetite/vitals so if he does seem sick and finally give in, you can be right there with a phone call to the vet for extra help!

Keep us updated!

[Fessy's Mom]

No, no travel lately - that was one of the first things the vet asked. :)

Well, no real improvement today. Resp was at 25 and hear rate was at 54. :( Temp was normal, but he's still not eating.

New symptom - edema on his chest which points toward a heart problem. :no: What the heck is wrong with him? The vet suggested we keep him on the antibiotics thinking maybe he has endocarditis - infection around the heart. But that doesn't really go with the lack of a temp and normal white cell count. He's still acting pretty normal aside from the coughing and the not eating.

Vet is going to call Tufts to pick their brains. She did suggest I take him there and have an ultrasound of his heart and lungs. If he was in a little more distress I'd consider it, but you honestly wouldn't know anything was wrong with him by looking at him. Thank goodness he's still eating hay.

So it looks like it's wait and see for a couple more days. Good thoughts and jingles would be appreciated for my Jackie. :sadsmile:

[Lulu]

Sending good, healing thoughts your way!

[JB]

Oh my, that sounds so scary! Massive jingles!!

[Pancakes]

No, no travel lately - that was one of the first things the vet asked. :)

Well, no real improvement today. Resp was at 25 and hear rate was at 54. :( Temp was normal, but he's still not eating.

New symptom - edema on his chest which points toward a heart problem. :no: What the heck is wrong with him? The vet suggested we keep him on the antibiotics thinking maybe he has endocarditis - infection around the heart. But that doesn't really go with the lack of a temp and normal white cell count. He's still acting pretty normal aside from the coughing and the not eating.

Vet is going to call Tufts to pick their brains. She did suggest I take him there and have an ultrasound of his heart and lungs. If he was in a little more distress I'd consider it, but you honestly wouldn't know anything was wrong with him by looking at him. Thank goodness he's still eating hay.

So it looks like it's wait and see for a couple more days. Good thoughts and jingles would be appreciated for my Jackie. :sadsmile:


Hmmm, endocarditis is fairly rare in horses. But keeping him on the antibiotics can't hurt. Having an ultrasound or radiographs will better help get an idea of just what is going on in there, as will having a bronchoalveolar lavage (BAL) or a TTA. If there is fluid in the chest wall, they can also tap that to see what kind it is. Pleural effusion doesn't necessarily mean heart problem -- it could be a secondary problem to pleuropnuemonia. And that is a PAINFUL condition for horses, which could explain his high heart rate. Again, I'm just speculating.

I think waiting and seeing is ok, but if he hasn't eaten in another 12-24 hrs I might get worried -- your guy doesn't seem to ACT sick, but his body is making him feel so crappy now that he doesn't feel like eating. Lack of a fever and high WBCs could be from any number of things, so it might be worth checking out.

I recommend Tufts, though -- I'm a 3rd year vet student there :)

Jingles for your boy!

[ThoroughbredFancy]

I hope he gets better and you find some answers.

It's so frustrating not knowing exactly what's wrong.

If he does get any worse I would take him to Tufts. I have only had good experiences with them. Hopefully you won't have to go there though upon the terms of him getting worse.

[FatPalomino]

Deltawave is our COTH heart dz expert, but I personally would be very worried with that swelling and would have my horse at Tufts for an echo. Not sure how much they charge there (here, for small animals it's around $300). I've lost several dogs to heart diseases, know of a horse who died from the after effects of endocarditis (treated very aggressively at Upenn, he was only 4)....

Keep us updated! Did the vet recommend trying Lasix (is his renal function ok?)?

[Kim]

Oh no, sending hugs and jingles to you and Jack.

[Fessy's Mom]

Hmmm, endocarditis is fairly rare in horses. But keeping him on the antibiotics can't hurt. Having an ultrasound or radiographs will better help get an idea of just what is going on in there, as will having a bronchoalveolar lavage (BAL) or a TTA. If there is fluid in the chest wall, they can also tap that to see what kind it is. Pleural effusion doesn't necessarily mean heart problem -- it could be a secondary problem to pleuropnuemonia. And that is a PAINFUL condition for horses, which could explain his high heart rate. Again, I'm just speculating.

I think waiting and seeing is ok, but if he hasn't eaten in another 12-24 hrs I might get worried -- your guy doesn't seem to ACT sick, but his body is making him feel so crappy now that he doesn't feel like eating. Lack of a fever and high WBCs could be from any number of things, so it might be worth checking out.

I recommend Tufts, though -- I'm a 3rd year vet student there :)

Jingles for your boy!

She did say it was rare, so hopefully it isn't that. As far as the heart problem, maybe I misunderstood her on the edema. But she did think he was in some pain and gave him banamine hoping to encourage him to eat. I can't wait to see if he's breathing easier when I get home. If that's the case, that he's in pain, I don't see how I could wait any longer with him. :(

Thank you Pancakes! I love your user name BTW. It's good to "know" someone there. The vets at the small animal vet just helped us through a leg break on my little pom and were absolutely wonderful, so no hesitation going there for me. :yes:

Thanks for all the jingles everyone. :)

[Huntertwo]

Just a long shot idea, but I boarded with a horse who was healthy one day and the next had increased Respiratory and Heart Rate at a stand still.

I don't know if he had a temp or was off this feed.

No local Vets could figure it out and she brought him to New Bolton and even they couldn't figure it out.

I was already gone at this point, so I'm not sure how he got diagnosed, but come to find out he was IR.

Just idea...

Good luck with your guy.

[tpup]

Just wanted to send you jingles and hope he is feeling better soon.

[Fessy's Mom]

Huntertwo - that's interesting. I never would have even thought of that. I'll mention it to my vet. :)

Thanks for the jingles tpup. :)

FatPalomino - She never mentioned the Lasix. The whole edema thing really has me thrown for a loop. I did a quick online search and found nothing but scary stories - none with happy endings. :no: Hopefully she has something helpful to tell me tonight.

[JSwan]

And just to confuse you more........ drum roll please....

About this time last year is when my field hunter started acting just like the horse you describe. Could not figure out what was wrong. Not lame, no colic..... just sick. No edema though - not that I remember. But heart rate and respiration were not normal and he stopped eating. Just stood there looking miserable.


Anyway - the poor thing was suffering from Lyme disease.

[Pancakes]

She did say it was rare, so hopefully it isn't that. As far as the heart problem, maybe I misunderstood her on the edema. But she did think he was in some pain and gave him banamine hoping to encourage him to eat. I can't wait to see if he's breathing easier when I get home. If that's the case, that he's in pain, I don't see how I could wait any longer with him. :(

Thank you Pancakes! I love your user name BTW. It's good to "know" someone there. The vets at the small animal vet just helped us through a leg break on my little pom and were absolutely wonderful, so no hesitation going there for me. :yes:

Thanks for all the jingles everyone. :)

Haha, Pancakes is a nickname my friend gave me. Kind of random but unique. :) I love the large animal vets at Tufts -- they're really really caring people who want nothing more than to help your horse (or alpaca, or giraffe, or cow, whatever comes in they'll be on it). And they're really good at what they do.

The edema -- where is it exactly? Can you see it? Can you feel it? If it's just in the chest that's not necessarily a bad thing. If he's got edema in other places it could be from vasculitis, low protein, or a heart problem. Before I wasn't saying it isn't a heart problem, but it's tricky at this point whether to sort out if it's a heart problem causing him difficulty breathing or a primary lung problem causing other things. A trip to get an ultrasound could help sort that out. While there, they'd repeat bloodwork and check for infectious diseases as well (Lyme, viruses), so if he had a problem like IR they might pick up on that as well. I honestly doubt that IR would all of a sudden cause signs like this...

I hope the banamine works and gets him hungry again! If not, then I think you have a good sense of what to do. I have a few friends on the large animal medicine rotation now (my rotation isn't until the summer) so if you go I'll ask them for updates as well as checking back here.

[Fessy's Mom]

JSwan - I think that was one of the things she was going to test for with the blood she took today. I've treated three of my dogs and my husband for Lyme, so it's definitely in the area. :yes:

Pancakes - the edema is right on his chest behind his front legs. I can see it, feel it, and make an impression with my finger when I press on it. It's probably about 18 inches long and six to eight inches wide. I'll definitely let you know if I end up bringing him to Tufts. That would be great to have another vet's ear through this whole thing. Thank you! :)

He ate some of Ted's senior feed tonight, which I was so happy to see. :yes: His breathing's still labored and elevated though. I'll let you all know how he looks in the morning.

[FatPalomino]

His breathing's still labored and elevated though. I'll let you all know how he looks in the morning.

eek. My emergency experience is in small animal, but if I triage'd a call about an animal in that condition in the middle of the night, I'd say get to your nearest ER clinic ASAP.

What did your vet say today? Was he/she seriously concerned? Did she/he listen to the heart? Any ideas about what is going on, since the vet was back out today?

Interesting he is picking at his feed now. Jingles for him (and you) to have a restful night and be feeling better in the AM (If he was mine, tho, I would be checking on him all night and not getting a good night's sleep !!!).

Pancakes, nice to "meet" you. I'm a 2nd year vet student at the "if all else fails break glass and move there for 28 months" school ;) Some of our students transfer to Tufts... PM me if you hear of any openings into the beginning of your 2nd year class for transfer students ;)

[Pancakes]

JSwan - I think that was one of the things she was going to test for with the blood she took today. I've treated three of my dogs and my husband for Lyme, so it's definitely in the area. :yes:

Pancakes - the edema is right on his chest behind his front legs. I can see it, feel it, and make an impression with my finger when I press on it. It's probably about 18 inches long and six to eight inches wide. I'll definitely let you know if I end up bringing him to Tufts. That would be great to have another vet's ear through this whole thing. Thank you! :)

He ate some of Ted's senior feed tonight, which I was so happy to see. :yes: His breathing's still labored and elevated though. I'll let you all know how he looks in the morning.


Hmm, pitting edema. That could be viral (but he doesn't have a high fever), could be from hypoproteinemia (chronic illness), or from heart disease. Either way, those are not great signs. Paired with his labored breathing, I'd probably think about bringing him in tomorrow. He can exhaust himself if he spends too much energy working to breathe. It's great that he ate something, though! If he'll eat hay, that's even better (want to keep his gut moving/working well).
Jingles for you both...remember, even though his attitude might be good, you can't ignore the body's signs! My dad will claim and pretend he's fine even though he's sick as a dog in bed, coughing, sneezing, and feverish. Doesn't mean he doesn't need to go to the doctor ;)

[AKB]

I think you should take him into Tufts in the morning. You don't want to wait until the weekend when there will not be as many vets available and you may have to pay an emergency fee. Something unusual is making him sick, and you need to find it as soon as possible.

[sid]

Yes, I had a horse with these symptoms. Came on rather quickly. Diagnosed with lymphosarcoma in the chest cavity that was creating pressure on the lungs and heart (thus the elevated rates). Intermittent fever as well, that is not unusual with cancers.

I would get a work up at a hospital.

[Fessy's Mom]

FatPalomino - eek indeed. :( She did spend quite a bit of time listening to his heart and lungs. She said aside from the elevated rate, the heart sounded fine. The lungs, not so much. She said where the lower lungs are normally loud they're quiet and where the upper lungs are usually quiet, she hears "sounds". She suggested that I take him to Tufts, but understood that because of the cost, that I was hesitant. She thought that considering that he's still eating hay and drinking, and that his gut sounds are fine, that waiting over the weekend was okay. So we're continuing the Gentocin and Penn. She told me she did think that there was a chance this whole thing could go away as quickly and mysteriously as it appeared. I know, wishful thinking. :no:

sid - that's my biggest fear. :( Everywhere I look online his symptoms point to some kind of cancer. :cry:

I spoke with another vet at the clinic this morning (also a Tufts alumnus) and she agreed that we weren't in an emergency status at this point and that waiting until Monday should be okay. So after speaking with my husband, we decided that if he's not markedly better by Sunday that we'd take him on Monday.

Please don't think I'm a bad mom. It's just that we just finished paying off a $2,000 bill for my little Pom. So the thought of asking hubby to pay another big vet bill makes me nauseous. I'll keep you all updated and keep the jingles coming.

[sid]

My mare's lungs were clear also. The tumors were in the chest cavity between the lungs.
I'd keep a really close watch on thatHR if it continues to climb I'd get the horse to the hospital, as cardiac arrest can occur. Other thing..watch for the slightest tinge of blood in the nostrils.

I hope that this is not what it is, but thought I'd give you a heads up if this progresses as to things that warrant a fast trip to the hospital. It can escalate quickly.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

Susan

[Pancakes]

You're not a bad mom! You know your horse better than anyone on this board, and I have no doubt you'll know when you need to make the call. I KNOW that Tufts is expensive -- most referral hospitals are! But you know when the call needs to be made, and you've been diligent thus far in keeping a close eye on him, so don't worry about what people say.

I agree with what your vet has to say. Jingles for you...I'll be thinking of you both.

Off to study for my large animal medicine and surgery final! :D

[Ghazzu]

Any mention by your vet of a jugular pulse?

[Fessy's Mom]

Yes. :uhoh: I didn't really understand what it indicated though. Could you tell me? Thanks Ghazzu!

[Pancakes]

A jugular pulse indicates that the heart isn't pumping through the blood as well as it should, and that some blood is being left in the jugular vein, and you can see it pulsing every time their heart beats. Some horses have this present normally. As long as it's less than 1/3 the length of their neck, it can be considered normal. If it's very prominent and goes more than 1/2 way up their neck, it can be an indication for heart failure (right-sided). This would go along with the congestive heart failure signs like pleural effusion and a congested chest/lungs.

[FatPalomino]

uh oh.

(BTW I learn new things every day on this forum!)

[Fessy's Mom]

We took him to Tufts tonight. After watching him while cleaning the barn I could tell he wasn't comfortable. He's usually second-in-command, but when I was out in the field giving him scratches and checking his breathing, Abe sauntered over for some attention and Jack got out of his way. He NEVER does this.

So I made the call to my vet to arrange to bring him up. He stood quietly for his boots which he never does. Walked right on the trailer and I didn't hear a peep out of him (he usually calls a lot).

Anyway, we get there and they bring him right in for the ultrasound. You know it isn't good when the vet is saying things like, "oh, oooo, oh look at that, oh gosh, oh" as she's running the machine and checking the screen. He was FULL of fluid. Preliminary diagnosis - pneumonia, heart problem, tumor/cancer, the best being pneumonia with the other two resulting in, well, you know. :cry: Even if it's pneumonia, she said there's a good chance he'll be sick for a long time, which could result in laminitis.

I'm waiting for the vet to call me after she drains his chest of the fluid. I'm afraid we're at the point now where we're just waiting to find out why we have to put him to sleep. :cry:

[silver2]

Oh poor boy, I'm so sorry. But don't give up hope yet, maybe it will work out OK.

[MunchkinsMom]

Oh, I am so sorry to read that! My heart goes out to you right now. Maybe if we all jingle madly for your boy that things will improve.

[HorsesinHaiti]

:( Praying for you.

[Pancakes]

Wow, I'm really, really sorry to hear that. I think you did the right thing by bringing him in when you knew he needed it, but I know that's little in the way of consolation compared to what you must feel now. I'm so sorry. I bet he's at least more comfortable now with the fluid drained off. I really wish there was better news for you. :(

I have a final tomorrow morning, but afterwards, I'll see if I can't stop by the wards and peek around to take a look at him. I'd like to put a face to this whole thing, ya know?
You'll both be in my thoughts.

[JSwan]

I'm waiting for the vet to call me after she drains his chest of the fluid. I'm afraid we're at the point now where we're just waiting to find out why we have to put him to sleep. :cry:



Damn.


I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's pneumonia and not something more sinister.

I'm glad you took him to Tufts. He's in a good place and I have no doubt they will do their best to help him.

[Staish14]

I've been following your thread. I'm very, very sorry to read your last post. Sending lots of jingles and hoping for the best!!

[jetsmom]

FM- Just saw this thread. Jingling from TX for Jack. Good of you for taking him in to Tufts.

[ChocoMare]

Oh FM :( Here, just last week, you came to mind and I was wondering how you and Ole Abe were since I hadn't seen you on the boards.... and now this :cry:

((( Hugs ))) :sadsmile:

[blackstallion2]

Many jingles from Virginia. Not knowing is the hardest part. Hope you have solid answers in the morning, and hope he is feeling better with all the fluid removed.

[ThoroughbredFancy]

Sending jingles!


Poor boy. But you did the right thing and he is in great hands. I've always been pleased with Tufts.

[Bayou Roux]

I'm sorry to hear it's looking this way. Jingling for good news and a positive outcome.

You are a good mom. You knew when it was time to take him to Tufts, and you'll do the right things for him. Hugs to you.

[amdfarm]

Oh no, poor Jack and poor you! You did the right thing.

Jingling for a good outcome.

[Laurierace]

Jingling for good news.

[Fessy's Mom]

Thanks for all the jingles and kind thoughts everyone. They are SO appreciated. :sadsmile:

I received a call at midnight last night from the vet at Tufts. She told me they drained 27 litres of fluid out of his chest. :no: They couldn't drain it all because they didn't want his body to have some kind of reaction to losing that much fluid. So they were going to continue to drain the rest of the fluid off in small amounts throughout the night. At least he's more comfortable now. I'm now waiting to hear from them after they ultrasound his heart. It sucks knowing that no matter what they tell me, it's going to be devastating. :(

Pancakes - thanks for thinking of us while you're studying for your exams. I hope you do really well. :yes: Dr. Pacheco is who is caring for Jack right now. Please don't think I'm a neglectful horse mom when you see him. He came off the trailer soaking wet from sweat and with his winter coat he doesn't look much like the superstar he is. :sadsmile: I plan on going after work today to give him a good grooming.

Chocomare and jetsmom - thanks so much for remembering us and sending good thoughts. Abe and I send our love. :sadsmile:

I'll let you know when I hear from Tufts again...

[amdfarm]

Wow, poor guy. He must feel better having all that fluid gone.

Continued jingles.

[Green Acres]

FM - I'm jingling for you and Jack too. He's a lucky boy to have you as his mom.

You are great horsey mom which was evident with the great care and love you have given Abe. Yep, another Auntie Abe here.

[Kim]

Sending lots of hugs and jingles. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. :(

Kim and Grace

[BornToRide]

Hope he's OK soon - best wishes!

[chism]

Fessysmom - I've missed you & your Abe updates. I'm sorry to hear that Jack's not doing well. I've spent some time at Tufts with sick horses, the vets & staff there are first rate. I'm jingling for you both.

[Pancakes]

So I went in before my exam today...I saw your Jack! He looked kind of depressed, and why not, I'd be depressed if I was in a hospital with a tube in my chest too! But his breathing didn't look rapid or labored and he seemed to be resting comfortably. He's a cutie! I'm a sucker for greys :). I couldn't hang around too long but I am glad I got a chance to see him. I'm sure he'll love having you come groom him today! Dr. Pacheco is very, very nice. Jack is in good hands. Please let us know what you find out, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you both.

(and I think I did very well on my exam, thank you! One more on Mon to study for.)

Update: my classmate also peeked in on him...said Jack looked brighter than when I had seen him. So at least he feels a bit better :)

[FatPalomino]

Gosh darn. 11 is just way to young. Let's hope it is pneumonia and the antibiotics he's already been on are helping, or will help. You're certainly not a bad mom. He's just so young for heart disease or cancer. Jingles for him (and you).

[li'l bit]

Jingling, Jingling, Jingling for Jack.

[crthunder]

Fessy's Mom,

Hang tough and take EVERY opportunity to spend time with him. I don't want to be the thinker of the bad... but every symptom sounds EXACTLY like what happened with my TB (at age 7) when he turned out to have a grapefruit sized tumor between his lungs :( I am praying for you that it turns out to not be the case, but feel free to PM me if you need ANYTHING. Gabriel made it four more days after we drained the fluid out of his chest. He was incredibly brave and stoic, and we didn't know what the cause was until after I made the final decision.

Be brave for your horse, and if it comes to it, Gabriel will help him over the bridge.

Praying, jingling, and praying again...

Becky & the boys

[BuddyRoo]

More jingles from MI.

[monstrpony]

Adding some more jingles here! Let us know what you hear, hope it's managable!

[tpup]

Lots and lots of jingles. Hang in there and don't ever stop believing. I've been following your story and really, really praying for you guys.

[Hollywood]

I have been following your thread. I just wanted to send jingles from Indiana.

[ASB Stars]

Jingling away in SE PA! These things are just...so...hard...hoping for a great report!

[McVillesMom]

Thinking of you and hoping for better news. :)

[Fessy's Mom]

Jackie was kindly and gently helped over the bridge by the wonderful vets at Tufts this afternoon. :cry: Thanks for all your kind thoughts and jingles, but this was just too much for him to get over.

I had to come back to work after saying goodbye, so I have to try and keep it together until 5:00, so I'll post the details later today.

Thanks SO much for the support. :sadsmile:

[Lulu]

Oh no... I am so sorry.

[ChocoMare]

Oh, sweetie.... I'm so very sorry :cry:

((( hugs )))

[Green Acres]

Oh Fessy's Mom.:( {{{{{hugs}}}}}

I'm am so sorry for you. I was so hoping it was something he could get over. Poor Jack but he's at peace and not in any pain now. I can not even immagine the pain you feel but please know you did what was right. (I'm teary eyed just typing this).

[Huntertwo]

Oh Fessy,
I'm so so sorry. :sadsmile: We were all hoping for a better outcome.
R.I.P. Jack.

God Bless

[Laurierace]

You are so brave and kind to take his pain away and make it your own. It was much too soon for him to leave you but at least you were there for him to the end. Godspeed.

[Hollywood]

My heart sunk when I saw your title update - I am so so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you, and godspeed Jackie.

[JB]

Oh no, I am so, so sorry! I've been hawking the board this afternoon looking for updates and my heart SANK when I saw the title change :cry::cry::cry::cry:

Godspeed Jack, you had a great mommy who did right by you :sadsmile:

Take some SMALL consolation that it wasn't something that would have had you hanging on for weeks or months, lots and lots of $$ in meds and care, only to still lose him in the end. Really tiny consolation, but anything you can get helps.

[FatPalomino]

((((hugs)))
As I am sure you know, your horse is a very rare case. I've never seen or known someone who lost a horse that young from the C word. You sure were a good mom to him. He was very lucky to have you there right up until the very end. Bringing him to Tufts is something many horse owners would not or could not consider.

[Bayou Roux]

Godspeed Jackie-- and many hugs to you.

[tullyleague]

I am so sorry. :(

[War Admiral]

I'm so sorry for your loss. But no horse could have had a better human friend than you.

[JSwan]

Oh no.

I'm so very very sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you took him there and he was made comfortable until his time came.

My deepest condolences.

[BuddyRoo]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

(((hugs)))

It's NEVER easy to lose them. Never. Even when you know it's the right thing. I am so sorry.

[Jessi P]

I am so sorry to hear this sad news. You gave him the final gift - a painless passing. RIP Jack. Big big hugs for you Fessy. :cry::sadsmile::cry:

[McVillesMom]

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. :cry:

[SmallHerd]

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you!!

[tpup]

I am so so very sorry to hear the news :( Hugs and thoughts go out to you.

[Tiffani B]

(((hugs))) I'm so sorry for your loss.

[amdfarm]

Damn!! My heart also sank when I read the title. :cry: I'm glad he went peacefully and was made more comfortable.

((((HUGS))))

Godspeed Jack

[Pancakes]

No, no, no, no!!! My heart skipped a beat when I saw your title update... Oh no, I'm so terribly, terribly sorry. I can't even imagine how hard this is for you. I know you did everything in your power to make him happy and comfortable...and you did, to the very last day. Jack couldn't have asked for more from anyone. This is hard to hear about, and after getting to see him today, it's even worse. **hugs** I'm at least glad to hear his passing was peaceful, and you might be able to take solace in knowing you were able to make him comfortable for his last day on this earth, as I'm sure you did all his days.

Again, my heart goes out to you, and may Jack rest in peace.

[Fessy's Mom]

Thank you all so much and I'm SO sorry that I'm not thanking each and every one of you personally, but please know how much your words mean to me. :sadsmile:

I'll be honest. It was actually easier to stay at work than come home to see someone missing from out in the field. :cry: This won't be a fun weekend. :no:

So anyway, I got the call this morning that they had a diagnosis and that it was NOT good news. They said the fluid they were draining from his chest was very blood-tinged. They tested it and it had melanin cells in it - meaning it was probably a melanoma. From now on I'll think of grey horses as being like those sirens (I think that's what they're called) that sing their lovely songs, in this case show you their lovely looks (I absolutely ADORE the look of a grey horse and very narrow-mindedly would only get a grey when I found Jack) and then smash the ships on the rocks and kill you. I'm probably totally messing up my metaphor, but you get the idea - he smashed my heart to bits today. :cry:

As some of you stated, the vet told me my one consolation was that there was only one resolution to this problem - no fretting over spending tons of money with only a slim chance of a good outcome - there was no possible good outcome in this case and euthanasia was the only answer. She told me I would't even be able to bring him home because his chest would have filled right up again as soon as they took the drain out. She asked if I wanted to see him before he was put down and I said of course. She said she'd put him out for me just before I got there.

So I left work to go say goodbye to my bud. It was totally surreal to get out of my car to see this healthy-looking horse walking around and nibbling grass in the paddock. He gave me a wonderul hello whinny - like "Hey MOM! Where ya been?" :sadsmile: I had stopped at the tack store for a bag of treats and offered him some. He scarfed down a handful and then went back to grazing. I was so pleased that it was such a nice day here in MA - unseasonably warm (60!) so he could go outside and enjoy the day for awhile. Both vets came out to console me and assure me that I was doing the right thing. I stayed with him for a few more minutes and then handed over the leadrope and he was lead away...

With my eyes full of tears, I had a hard time figuring out which way to go to go out, and this sweet girl came up to me with his blanket and shipping boots in a bag and helped me find the way out. She was like, "Oh don't cry - you're making me cry!" (and she was) :sadsmile: It was so wonderful to see such caring people working with the animals. They really made me feel like Jack was the only horse they were treating that day. :)

I put the stuff in the car and walked back into the waiting area and after about five minutes they both came out with Jack's halter, leadrope and a lock of his tail. They again assured me that I had done the right thing and told me he went very peacefully. :(

That's enough for now. :cry: I can't really see the keyboard. I hope it's semi-coherent.

[Pancakes]

Oh, now you're making me cry too. I know you're devastated, but it sounds like the perfect last day for him. He got to go outside, see his mom, got treats...what more could he ask for? Reading your story, I felt like I was there with you too. I wish I had more to offer you in consolation. It can't be easy for you, no matter how much you've tried to rationalize it.
*hugs*

[Sansena]

OP: **HUG**

[AppJumpr08]

Oh I am so very sorry for your loss :(

I'm sure my big grey guy was there to greet him on the other side of The Bridge. :sadsmile:

BIG HUGS to you from New Hampshire

[Lulu]

Oh honey, so sad... I don't know what to say except that he was a lucky boy to have you as his mom. In the end, you gave him the ultimate gift of sparing him pain.

[MelantheLLC]

Weeping with you.

[JoZ]

Godspeed, Jack, and hugs to you, Fessy's Mom... :cry:

[cheryl ann]

Peace and Hugs, Jack had a good horsemom.

[jetsmom]

Godspeed Jack.

Ohhh, FM...I'm soooo sorry for your loss. He was too young to go, and not being older where you can kind of start wrapping your mind around the fact that they will be gone soon, makes it so much harder. Humane euth is truly the last gift we can give our beloved pets. (((Hugs))).

PS- Go hug on Abe. When you think about how his life would have been cut short if not for you (and your sweet hubby), maybe you'll feel a little better.

[SuZQuzie]

I'm so sorry. I'm now teary-eyed reading your story. Just know that he had an amazing life thanks to you. :sadsmile:

[shea'smom]

oh I am so sorry. It makes me want to run out and hug every horse on the place. It sounds like he was doing well up until the last few days, though?
So I hope that brings you some comfort. Hugs.

[Noctis]

RIP Big man. *Hugs* I am so sorry to hear that he's passed. Sending huge hugs and jingles for you.

[ThoroughbredFancy]

I am so sorry to hear that. Brought a few tears to my eyes for sure.

I'm glad that he went peacefully, and that you did the best you could for him.

[Filly85']

There are tears all over my keyboard.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Know that he had a good life with you and that you did everything that you could for him. You are so strong for doing the right thing, and godspeed to your boy.:sadsmile:

[HorsesinHaiti]

:( ((((((HHHUUUGGGSSS))))))

[bird4416]

I'm so sorry about Jack. Big (((hugs)))

[maxxtrot]

fessy, i am so sorry to hear about jack. i lost my maxxwell to cancer just in jan. out of the blue, was gone in a matter of a week. his was in his stomach. he was myhorse of a lifetime, so i do understand how you feel, reading your post has me in tears again. you did the best thing for him, i wish i would have known what was going on, by the time we found out he was gone the next morning. he died in my arms and is buried on my farm. jack loved you and you gave him a wonderful life. loved until the end. i am sure maxx was there waiting for him to show him around. :)
do tell abe that wonser (from north hampton) says hi. and hugs to you fessy.

[pintopiaffe]

:cry:

Thoughts and prayers for YOU. He is in a better place.

I am so sorry. Words don't do it, because they touch us in a place beyond words.

:cry:

[joharavhf]

Fessy, I am so so sorry for your loss of Jack. I know how hard it is to lose a horse who was "fine" just days before. It is surreal and very painful. Please know that you are in my thoughts and that my best friend Dancer met Jack over the rainbow bridge and the two greys ran off with their manes and tails in the wind. :cry:

[monstrpony]

:cry::cry::cry:

I am so very sorry. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}.

RIP Jack

[Seven-up]

So very sorry. We lost one to cancer about 5 years ago, and this brings it all back. Maybe you can find some peace in the fact that it was quick--ours was misdiagnosed and it went on way too long. We didn't find out what was wrong until after he was gone. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Hugs. :cry:

[ddashaq]

I am so sorry for you. Many, many hugs to you.:(

Godspeed, Jack.

[sid]

A fast growing cancer in a horse is simply devasting, and it's not something discussed on this BB very often because it really is quite rare. The hardest part is not being able to see any outward signs of the deadly thing that is going on inside -- until they can no longer hide it. When you first posted about Jack's symptoms, I felt terrible telling you how they mimiced my 8 yr. old mare who was lost (very suddenly, in my terms) to cancer in the chest cavity. I've thought about you every day since then, hoping it was something else.

Sending them across the bridge, while they are still acting bright (having had the "symptoms"/discomfort abated by fluid draining, albeit temporarily) is just heartbreaking. You stepped up to the plate and did just the best thing...though I know it's no consolation.

Just letting you know that I'm thinking about you. Makes your head spin when something so unusual comes on so fast...and then they are gone. Cancer in horses gives one no preparation for loss, like some other more common afflictions do.

Many hugs to you.

[Pocket Pony]

Oh no! I'm crying to Mr. PoPo telling him of your story. I am so very sorry to hear of this outcome. You are a wonderful, caring, loving horsewoman who did the right thing by her friend when he needed it most. Hugs to you. :sadsmile::cry:

[Coreene]

How fortunate you both are, to have each other. For you still have each other, in the current tense, each carrying a part of the other in their heart. :sadsmile: I am so very sorry for your loss.

[Mary in Area 1]

I've read all your posts about Abe and I know you are a good person. I can only say that I actually FEEL your pain, as I have lost a beloved dog, a beloved horse and a beloved cat all in the last 2 months.

Please allow your remaining animals to share their love with you to help to heal your open wounds. I hope that Jack will meet my beautiful grey Puck on the other side of the bridge. Hugs to you all.

[AngelainTexas]

Oh, I am SO sorry for your loss. Jack was a lucky boy to have you as is owner. He is free now.

Hang in there.

[sdlbredfan]

I am so sorry this story did not have a happy ending. I agree with those who are saying what a lucky horse he was, to have you for a 'Mom'. You did what was right for him, made that tough decision, even though that is one of the hardest things we ever can be called upon to do.

[rcloisonne]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be good to yourself as you honor Jack with your grief.

"We who surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Yet we would live no other way, and we cherish memory as the only certain immortality."

Irving Townsend.

Hugs!

[slc2]

Courage and love are very, very close friends.

You did the right thing. Thank heaven for owners who love their animals so much that they take such good care of them.

[ASB Stars]

We lost a lovely, apparently healthy, ASB gelding in a similar fashion, two years ago, 7.14. We were devastated...and I understand, and share your feelings. You did everything right- and you gave him the loving gift of freedom. You are a wonderful horse mom, and my heart goes out to you....

[Fessy's Mom]

Just when I thought I was going to be okay, I went out to the barn this morning to throw hay for everyone - and I lost it. :cry: I looked at his empty stall, and his halter hanging on the wall, and I lost it.

I noticed yesterday and this morning that as I was reading everyone's lovely and supportive comments that I felt they were being written for someone else. Apparently, it hadn't really sunk in yet that my Jackie is gone and I realized just how much I'm going to miss him. :(

I'll miss seeing from my kitchen window his cute face sticking over his door when he's finished his grain in the morning, waiting for me to come give him his cookie and let him out. I'll miss opening his and Ted's door to let them out and Ted obediently walking right out the back door out to the pasture, but EVERY SINGLE DAY Jack will instead go across the aisle into Ted's stall to check that he had finished his breakfast, and I would have to chase him out. I'll miss his happy little face when I went out to the pasture to catch him before a ride. I'll miss his sad little face when I would walk past him in the pasture when it was Abe's turn to be ridden.

I'll even miss his crappy feet and the blacksmith calling him a "Pansybred" when he's developed another stone bruise or abscess. I'll miss him reaching to the ceiling so I couldn't get the bridle on. I'll miss his face covered in manure in the morning and my asking him if he went out last night and got shitfaced. :lol::sadsmile:

I'll especially miss how much fun he was to ride. It didn't matter if I rode him yesterday or six months ago, he was the same easy going well-broke horse every time. And the thing I am most proud of is that I did it all myself - from straight off the track to the pleasure ring and winning blue ribbons. My favorite show memory was when he won three flat classes in his division, but I took a second place in the equitation. As I'm walking out of the ring, my husband says for everyone in the vicinity to hear, "well, I guess you're not as good as your horse" to great laughter. Truer words have never been spoken. :sadsmile:

He never liked trailrides, it was truly a struggle to get him off the property even for a walk. But ironically, and this really is spooky, for the first time two weeks ago he actually carried me down the street to the hayfields and we went for a romp in the snow. I'll cherish that memory forever. :sadsmile:

Godspeed Full Metal Jacket, aka Jackie, Jackson, Jackie Legs, Big Man, Jockobazzi, and Just Jack. I'll miss you and love you forever. :cry:

[Whoanellie]

FM,

So very sorry for the loss of your boy! Having recently lost one of our rescues who had been with us for some time, my heart goes out to you.

I just don't have enough words or even the right words to give you. I wish I had a magic wand to make the coming days easier for you. I don't. I hope you do know that you are in the thoughts of many.

You were a wonderful Mom. You were a gift for each other. How lucky he was to have had you!

[crthunder]

Fessy's Mom,

I started crying as soon as I saw the thread update, even though deep down, after reading Jack's symptom's, I knew the outcome. Jack has been welcomed by my Gabriel, who lost his battle with cancer in a similar way almost four years ago, on the other side of the bridge. I am sure they are frolicking in the biggest pasture there is!

It is so hard to lose them so young, but you were strong and there for him. My deepest condolences, and hugs!

Becky, Red, and Raalph

[Equilibrium]

Fessy's Mom,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Jack. I just read the entire thread. Your saying goodbye to Jack post had me in a flood of tears. You're such a good horse mom and he was very lucky to have you.

I too, hate the little reminders of horses who aren't there anymore. Last year when I lost my foal, I stood in her stable just looking around for any signs she had been there. I looked in the window and saw her yogurt syringe and just burst out crying. Seeing her little halter, it was all a bit much.

My heart goes out to you because it is so tough.

Godspeed Jack and a big hug for you.

Terri

[Doodlebug1]

you know, the greatest gift you could have given your Jack is to have let him go while he was, and looked, such a happy and healthy boy.

He was one very lucky horse - and you're a brave and remarkable owner. I'm sorry it ended this way.

Godspeed Jack.

[CB/TB]

It's so hard to lose tham at any age, but one so young is especially heartbreaking. Hugs to you . We want them to be young and strong forever , but sometimes we have to let go before we're ready. It does come back and smack you in the face when you least expect it. The good ones you never forget, and you shouldn't .

[Buffyblue]

I'm so sorry! I lost my old TB to cancer, too. He was about 27 at the time. Godspeed, Jack.

[Peggy]

Dang:cry:. So sorry to hear this. Godspeed Jack.

[merrygoround]

My sincere sympathies. You did everything right to help him when he needed help.
Know that sometimes there are just no good answers.

[Stacie]

I'm so sorry about Jack. {{HUGS}}

[dwblover]

So sorry for your loss. He will always love you and the memories will get you through this tough time. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HookedOnReefing]

So sorry to hear about your loss. Your farewell post had both my wife and I in tears:cry: You were a very good mom to Jack.

[Alibhai's Alibar]

I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved Jack. His last days mirrored the end of my Alibar's life (http://rockandracehorses.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/the-beginning-of-the-end/) and I feel a terrible and eerie empathy reading these posts. I knew very little of lymphosarcoma before Alibar had it and was suddenly gone- all I knew was what I learned when a favorite racehorse of mine (Lost in the Fog) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_in_the_Fog) became sick in 2006 and was subsequently euthanized.

Please accept my condolences on your loss. Your tribute to him was touching and he sounded like a wonderful horse.

[joharavhf]

It *is* the little things that we horsie moms remember. When my Dancer died it was the silly little things that set me off....Like when I was cleaning his stall for the last time and I found his hair hanging off a piece of wood that had splintered a bit. Or going out to feed and not being able to "beep" the little pink snip he had. Or his "grrrrrrrr" face that he gave EVERYONE except me and my daughter. It IS the little things in life that we mourn every day until one day, you'll look back and realize how LUCKY you were to be graced with that face everyday for so many years.

I loved your saying of being shitfaced :D Such a sad topic, but that was hilarious.

I don't know if you'll ever be this way....but I was JEALOUS of other people whose horses lived to an older age than mine. I'd have someone say that their horse died at 35 and I'd get mad wondering why I was short changed. Eventually I found solace in the fact that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes our horses know best. My solace came in the form a cute, furry buckskin pony that I bought for my daughter and fell completely head over heals in love with. I just KNOW Dancer died at THAT time so that he could bring me together with my new little pony man.

I'm not saying that your solace will come in the form of another horse, or that the "next horse" will take the place of your Jack. But hopefully at some point you can look back on your boy's life and actually feel happy and okay with everything that happened.

Hang in there.

[FlashGordon]

Damn, FM, so sorry to hear about your loss. I had opened this thread a few days ago, then stayed away.... it reminded me of my Dan.

I wonder how often cancer occurs in horses. I'd guess it is actually more common than any of us know. Sounds like he he was blessed to have you in his life though, and had many happy times.

There's an awful lot of good TBs on the other side of the bridge. Jack will be met by quite the brigade.

Big Hugs to you and Godspeed to Jackie. :sadsmile:

[pony4me]

So very sorry for your loss.

[Quinn]

I am so terribly sorry as well.

http://community.webshots.com/user/ballyduff

[chism]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[BasqueMom]

I am so very sorry! Many hugs!

[canyonoak]

Oh FM, your love for Jack just leaps right off the page. Such a wonderful horse--and such a wonderful owner and friend you have been, to let him go with grace and dignity.

Yes, it broke your heart into pieces, but now he's over The Bridge, letting everyone there ahead of him know what a stand-up loving person he had for his time here.

Godspeed, Jack.

[LoveMyArabians]

So very, very sorry for your loss...
but it is so comforting to know how much Jack was loved.

May his spirit live forever in your heart.

Cindy

[laskiblue]

I'm so, so sorry. I can tell Jack was a very special guy. Hugs to you.

[Fessy's Mom]

Thank you all so much for all your support. It is so comforting to read your kind words. :sadsmile:

I received a message on my cell phone this weekend from Tufts that it was indeed a melanoma in his chest cavity. Once I screw up the nerve and feel that I won't be a blubbering idiot on the phone, I'll give them a call back to get more details and I'll post the info here.

[webmistress32]

I lost a precious horse to cancer last summer, it's hard. we too spent a last day giving treats and playing with our girl; she was scarfing them down, grazing and whinnying to us. it's hard to put them down when they look so alive ... <tears> but you have to.

you made the right choice for him. I am sorry you have lost him.

[SkipHiLad4me]

Oh FM I'm so sorry :cry:

I was following this thread and hoping that there would be a better ending. You were an excellent mom and did everything you could for him. He's in a much better place now where he is healthy and pain-free again. There are really no words I can say to make things better but please know that many of us have been there too and understand how you're feeling right now. :sadsmile:

(((Hugs)))) to you.

[Kim]

FM, I am so, so sorry...

Chutney will show Jack the way over the Bridge. She always loved a gorgeous grey guy!

Give Abe an extra hug and kiss from me and Grace...

You know we are all here for you.

((HUGS))

[Fessy's Mom]

I finally spoke with the vet regarding Jack's tumor. Turns out it was a huge melanoma in his chest cavity between his lungs. It was pressing on his heart and lungs and causing the inflammation that caused the production of fluid that built up in his chest.

But even more bizarre is that they also found a tumor around his carotid artery, as well as tumors on his lungs and spleen. :eek: He was absolutely riddled with cancer. :no: I still can't believe I actually rode him two weeks prior to him showing symptoms.

Unbelievable. :(

[FatPalomino]

{{hugs}}

I've seen so many of our horse friends are so much more stoic than we ever imagined them to be.

What a great life Jackie had. As someone in the vet field, please find some comfort in the fact that Jackie was never in an immense amount of pain and that he went quickly after his symptoms appeared, surrounded by people the loved him.

[monstrpony]

I have heard of other cases in which a horse had melanoma for years that caused little problem, and then very, very quickly went critical leading to the same outcome that you experienced.

I hope there is some tiny consolation in knowing that you did everything for Jackie by the numbers, and that there was no other option.

Continued cyber hugs--

[Appassionato]

I am so sorry, big hugs to you and Godspeed to your dear Jack!

[LSM1212]

I'm so sorry for your loss.... God Speed Jack.

I had a dog that was taken too soon also. I didn't notice anything really wrong w/ her but a small patch of hair that was thinning. Figured it was allergies and took her to the Vet when I brought my other dog in for a check up. Just to see what the Vet could give us for it.

After a work up and blood taken because of swollen lymph nodes which I hadn't noticed... she ended up having Leukemia. :eek: Lost her about a month after the diagnosis. She hid it so well. But she was a Border Collie and they are famous for doing that. Working one day, and die the next.

So... animals can do that to us. They can hide things well until it's too late.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Gunnar]

Oh no FM, not your Jack! I am so sorry! I know you loved him!

My thoughts are with you during this most difficult of times!:sadsmile:

[twofatponies]

I finally spoke with the vet regarding Jack's tumor. Turns out it was a huge melanoma in his chest cavity between his lungs. It was pressing on his heart and lungs and causing the inflammation that caused the production of fluid that built up in his chest.

But even more bizarre is that they also found a tumor around his carotid artery, as well as tumors on his lungs and spleen. :eek: He was absolutely riddled with cancer. :no: I still can't believe I actually rode him two weeks prior to him showing symptoms.

Unbelievable. :(

I lost an older cat to almost the same kind of tumor structure. We didn't notice anything wrong with him until two weeks before we put him down. He was eating, playing, acting completely normal in every way, then boom, he suddenly crashed, losing weight and energy in a matter of a few days, which is when we took him in and looked at xrays. I think animals are awfully stoic, and perhaps with this kind of tumor it isn't really very uncomfortable until it starts impinging on breathing and circulation significantly.

So sorry about your horse. And thanks for sharing the story.

[sid]

FM -- yes, unbelievable. My "Fancy" seemed completely normal, romping around the field, eating well and was gone in only 6 days once symptoms presented. She was only age 8.

Your posts about that elevated HR and resp rate really put out my alarm bells when you first posted (and hoping Jack had a different problem).

So, so sorry Jack was afflicted and taken from you so early. I hope will be consoled by the fact that you got him to a hospital when you did -- and you were able to let him go at the right time for such a "hidden" but, in the end, painful disease.

That's the ONLY thing that gave me solace when I went through this with my "Fancy"...who I bred and delivered and was so dear to my heart, as Jack was to yours.

Hugs and more hugs,

susan

[VAHorseGurl]

I am terribly sorry to hear of your loss. God Speed Jack!

[boosma47]

Oh, Fessy, so very sorry for your loss. No one loves her horses more than you do, and Jack's memory will give you strength as the days pass.

Embrace the tears. They heal.

Hugs from Boo, Rusty and Dime, and from me.

[Woodland]

:cry:

[Bugs-n-Frodo]

I am so sorry. Big hugs! :cry: