Instructors: How do you address student's weight?

[HDFarm]

First, I understand this is probably going to touch a nerve but it is a real issue for instructors.

I own and operate a small lesson farm. I use my own personal horses as my lesson horses. The four horses I use range in size from a 16.2 1200 lb stocky 9 yr old gelding to a 20 yr old slightly arthritic dainty mare. She's only used to lead around child beginners and begin to control off lead. I state in my contract paperwork and on my website that there is a weight limit for riders of 225lbs. Having it written out is all well and good but how does one enforce that without hurting feelings?

I wouldn't want to outright ASK if I thought it was close. Thankfully, I've never been put in the situation. I'm just wondering if any other instructors have been and what's an effective way to handle it without hard feelings.

[Lilykoi]

My friend, who lives in Hawaii, keeps her horse with outfitters. They take tourists on trail rides that are pretty rugged. They have a 200 lb. limit for riders and a scale in their office.
I don't think they are concerned with hurting any ones feelings though.

[shea'smom]

I learned the hard way to ask when people call the first time. I got stuck with a kid who just kept getting heavier. She finally quit before I had to say anything. I would have felt terrible telling her mom that she could no longer ride, so I am glad it ended that way.
Now I ask, how tall , how much do you weigh.

[ThoroughbredFancy]

I would just tell them it's for the safety of the horses and that they can only carry a certain percent of their own body weight.

If they don't care about the safety/well being of the horses they are not worth it anyway. :D


And IMO, riding is a sport, there is some physical fitness involved.

I will admit I have met some larger riders that ride well and quite balanced...and they're usually atop a tall hefty built horse.

[Milocalwinnings]

I'd ask all potential lesson students what their height/weight are, and make it out to seem like you are trying to place them on the most suitable horse. If they are over the weight limit, simply state that you currently don't have any horses who would be suitable for them.
I think doing it over the phone would have less hurt feelings than having them actually show up and have to be told they can't ride. If they do show up and you think they are too heavy, I'd offer a free ground lesson and then explain that your horses are not suitable.

[BuddyRoo]

I'm not an instructor, but I do half lease one of my mares out and have run into this.

What was worse, the gal in question is also a coworker of mine.

She had ridden H/J before she got married/had kids. So she knew how to ride. Before she came out, we talked it over. I told her that we could see how it went but that weight might be an issue for the mare. Being horsey, she got that.

So when she came out and it was clear that she WAS balanced and the weight really was NOT a problem but I had no tack that fit her, we struck a deal. She was welcome to ride bareback and WT around, but if she wanted to lease, she would have to find a suitable saddle.

I will admit that it was awkward. But the fact that she was horsey made it easier. I just kind of approached it as, "This is awkward for me...but in the interest of the horse, I feel like I need to address it. I'm not certain she will be able to handle the extra weight. Let's see how she does, but there's a possibility that it will be too much for her."

[Nezzy]

BFF owns a riding stable. It says right on the paper they sign the weight limit is 235. i think they ask this when people call, and they explain it is all about how much a horse can safely handle and insurance issues. Most people do not complain, but i know Mark has had to tell people the reason is b/c it will harm the health of the horse, and he tells them he will not put one of his horses at risk. He actually has had to buy some draft horses b/c America has gotten so big, and those big people think it's great to ride a horse. Some are not overweight, they are proportionate. but it is still a lot of dead weight on people who have not ridden before.

[findeight]

The best way is to be honest.

Have it in writing and make sure they are aware of it BEFORE they show up for a lesson to avoid embarassment.

And this is not about being fit or anything else, it is about putting a sensible limit on a horse you provide for another person to learn to ride on, not to mention a proper sized saddle you must also provide.

Has nothing to do with any limits in general, just limits on that specific stiuation-providing a lesson horse suitable for the riding level and size of the rider.

That is not in the least judgemental, merely stating the horse has a physical limit and you have none that can go above a certain weight and size.

It is about the horse that works for a living and giving them the best you can.

Now, if you had a stout school horse, you could increase your basic limit for that horse but they would have to meet whatever rider level it required.

But if you are like most instructors with schoolies, you got 2 Medium Pones, 3 between 14.3 and 15.2 and one 16.2-that is 28 with a bad back.

[HDFarm]

Thanks guys for your relies.

I've thought of the scale but thought that may come across as too brash.
It works well for the outfitters as they don't get the opportunity to interview potential riders.

I'll just have to start asking on the phone. I teach as many adults as I do kids. Many of the adults are not experienced so their weight is not balanced and I can tell the biggest horse has difficulty at times.

I do explain in the first lesson when they mount that we sit gently as we mount. Horses need their backs and last time I checked they aren't offering back transplants.

In the end, they are my personal horses and they serve me well with all their heart. I should probably quit worrying about hurting strangers feelings. It's truely for the health and well being of the horses.

[SharonA]

As a heavy-ish rider (165-ish lbs, plus the saddle), I don't think you should put yourself through worrying too much about hurting people's feelings. Damn, girl, we already knows we is fat! :-) Just be friendly yet honest, saying that you have a weight limit due to insurance regulations and the health of your horses. By all means be charming and make an effort to tell the person how genuinely pleased you'd be if she would come back when she found herself within your weight limits. Especially if it's a teenager or young woman who perhaps was looking to horseback riding as the way to maybe finding a new interest, getting in better shape, taking charge of her life, etc., take a few minutes to introduce her to the horses, let her feed them a carrot, groom one of them, whatever.... that way she won't feel totally rejected, and you've done a good deed and maybe even motivated her to drop some weight. :-)

[Sugarbrook]

Sharon, I love your post. You, obviously, have your act together.

[Bluey]

People today are used to weight limits in many places.
There are posted weight limits on bicicles, fair attractions like roller coasters, gym equipment and most heavier people know to test chairs before using them.;)
I don't think anyone would be offended if they are asked for their weight before they are assigned a horse, if stated nicely.:yes:

[MoonWitch]

Actually, I have found that most people who have more "girth" are very upfront about it when they call me. Usually they come right out and ask if there is a weight limit or if it will be a problem that they weigh X lbs. This makes it so much easier than having to come right out and ask!

[Whisper]

Some instructors ask before the first lesson, so they can pair students up most effectively with a horse. I'm only 5'5" and around 135, so it's rarely an issue, but one instructor had only one schoolhorse, who had a limit of 115 lbs. due to a back problem. She was able to arrange for me to ride a horse who belonged to one of her students (his owner watched me ride the first couple of times, to make sure she was comfortable with me first). I think using a scale on the first visit is reasonable, but try to be as tactful as possible.

[mrd]

Too bad you can't find a way to have a scale with no numbers. Just a green zone and a red zone. The dividing line is your max weight limit. That way it's a yes or no and no one is embarassed.

I heard about an excursion on a cruise that did it this way. It was either riding or ziplining, but you either met or you didn't but no one knew the real numbers. Slightly less humiliating i guess. If I were that close I wouldn't even try....

[Bluey]

Too bad you can't find a way to have a scale with no numbers. Just a green zone and a red zone. The dividing line is your max weight limit. That way it's a yes or no and no one is embarassed.

I heard about an excursion on a cruise that did it this way. It was either riding or ziplining, but you either met or you didn't but no one knew the real numbers. Slightly less humiliating i guess. If I were that close I wouldn't even try....

Great idea!
You could cover part of the little wheel with the weight with colored tape, according to where the line is you want to call "too heavy", green below that, red above.:cool:

[bumknees]

Have a question

Is the weight rule flexable? As in if by some odd chance a person well over 6' were to walk in. the person is fit in shape what ever term you wish to use. Lets say for the sake of this question the person is a football player. They can be 'large' in wieght but still fit. Face it some top over the 200lb mark but can still run the pants offf of most of us here.

WOuld you turn this person down or would you allow it to slide???

[Nezzy]

i think it would depend on their sense of balance and body control. Just b/c someone is athletic, does not mean they are balanced in a saddle.

[Ajierene]

My step-mom was going to take lessons and my dad agreed to go with her. It was hard to put a weight on him when they were talking to the people, but doctor's scales only go to 350 lbs. They said he would be fine - they have a draft cross that is hefty. Well, he got to the place, they took one look at him and said they don't have a horse for him...they didn't seem concerned about hurting his feelings and neither should you. This place had about 20 lesson horses - you have four. You can always say you only have four, maybe a bigger place would have a horse for that person.

[magnolia73]

I'd just be upfront. When they call "We have 4 lesson horses that can accomodate people from 50lbs to 200lbs." I think we fat people know enough to realize that not everything can carry us. I would not worry about offending anyone. Farr worse if you avoid the topic and end up with a 300lb rider injured because the horse could not carry their weight. If someone argues tell them you can not safely accomodate them on the horses that you have in the program.

[*Teddy*]

im not a instructor yet(but im working on it)

im also a heavier rider(due to mostly meds) and especially for my 4'10 frame(am bigger boned so im not petite petite)
i am very balanced as im told, im also well aware if i want to ride smalls that i will need to drop 20-30lbs(working on it too) a way to put it so its not really about weight is "im sorry but fluffy is just not a good match for you how about trying pepper?" if they want a certain horse but it cannot handle thier weight.

i ride everything from meds to 17.3hh and im really working so i can ride smalls again

[Somantu]

... Damn, girl, we already knows we is fat! :-) Just be friendly yet honest, saying that you have a weight limit due to insurance regulations and the health of your horses. ...:-)

:lol::lol::lol:

Very funny and very true!
Being a heavy person I would want to hear it kindly – but very clearly.

OP, nice to know you care about your horses AND people's feelings ;)

[Linny]

We tend to think of 200lbs as a threshhold and with some reason, but...We are generally imagining females for who that weight marks a person we might think of as "heavy." OTOH, a fit 6'2 man with broad shoulders and muscular build can and often does exceed that weight as well.
I know some "heavier" riders who are amongst the best I've ever seen ride. They are often riders who started when they were younger and smaller and though heavier now, they still are able to "ride light" and maintain balance. I can see why you wouldn't want a 200+ lb novice bebopping around on your schoolies though.
I'd think that addressing the issue over the phone, before the student bothers to get in the car and drive out to your barn makes sense. It's more clinical and less personal that way. A potential student arriving for lesson #1 and having you gasp at the sight of her size is bound to be very insulted, and I don't think most of us want to hurt anyones feelings.

A simple, "We don't have alot of horses/ponies here at Happy Lesson Acres. We want to make sure we have one that's appropriate for your size and experience. Have you ridden before? At what level? (here you are talking practical, not personal) Are you tall or short? What is your approximate weight? We ask these questions to determine if our horses will be a decent fit for your size and experience... " If you cannot accept a rider due to size, but know a place that can (maybe someone with a placid huge horse) you might make a recommendation. It's a decent professional courtesy and makes you look like you are trying to help. You never know, when the student loses 25 pounds and wants to move up, she may call you back.

[Bluey]

Maybe better don't ask for their weight directly, give them your limit and leave it to them to tell you they are heavier than that, if they are.;)

[VCT]

I think most people who are heavier are cognizant of that fact and want to ride appropriate horses. So long as someone is polite, factual and professional about addressing the issue I think it will be well received.

Course, there are some people who won't receive it well because they are sensitive, in denial, or have had run-ins with total jerks in the past who have been nasty to them.

[equest]

I learned the hard way to ask when people call the first time. I got stuck with a kid who just kept getting heavier. She finally quit before I had to say anything. I would have felt terrible telling her mom that she could no longer ride, so I am glad it ended that way.
Now I ask, how tall , how much do you weigh.

I find it a bit sad that the child quit, and you did not have the chance to say anything. It probably would have fallen on deaf ears, or mom would be offended, but a gentle yet straight talk about health and fitness may have been priceless here. Along the lines of "People come in all body types, and successful riders also have many different builds, but riding is a sport that requires physical fitness ..."

Frankly, (dons flame suit and grabs fire extinguisher) people are far too politically correct and oversensitive, and the "fat acceptance" movement has done a lot of harm to peoples' health. More often than not, I see a fat child, and following right behind them is mom or dad, overweight as well, and unwilling to accept that their child is on an unhealthy path.

I was on the chubby side as a preteen, and I am glad that my parents encouraged me to get into a healthier eating and exercise pattern.

[Coreene]

I'd tell them about the weight limit when they call. I'd have a sign posted and a scale in the office for the people who haven't figured out thay you are serious. If they would still complain, just tell them that your vet has given very strict weight limits for Flicka and Dobbin. And I say this as someone of the Abbondanza Persuasion. It's not your job to see if someone is 240 but balanced. They can buy their own horse if they want to find out.

[Queen Latisha]

There's no easy way to tell some one that they are fat.
Maybe you could tactfully tell your student, in order to excel at riding he/she needs to lose weight.
I had a trainer in my junior years, who would immediately point out if any of his students were putting on weight.:D
He would politely explain the benefits of being a fit rider.

[HDFarm]

It's not your job to see if someone is 240 but balanced. They can buy their own horse if they want to find out.

Thanks Coreene, I tend to feel he same way.

I don't want to discriminate and maybe I am too PC. I've been that way all my life, I try to take others feelings into consideration.

I have a 12 yr old student that is considerably overweight that has been riding with me for over a year. She has dropped 2 pants sizes from helping around the barn and riding in her weekly lessons. She has become quite a good balanced rider and is pretty flexible despite her larger size. We're heading to shows this summer w/her and one of my larger horses. She had never excelled or succeeded at any other "sporty" activity due to her weight and peoples unkind words. She loves the horses because they don't judge her, they just love her. And I adore having her around.

I also have a grandmother that brings her tiny grand-daughter for lessons. When I met her two years ago, she was pretty large. She mentioned taking lessons herself once she lost some weight. She actually got the lap-band procedure done and her first lesson is next week! Grandma is so proud of her new size.

Again, everyone's ideas are appreciated. I even tried to google a scale with just the red and green instead of numbers as an earlier poster had mentioned. No such luck. I don't trust myself to take a scale apart.

[nashfad]

I always ask about a potential new student's height before they come for a lesson & I ask if they are HWP. Some are honest & some are not---I got a big woman up on my draft once but getting her off the horse was tough. I had the mounting block placed under her & I had hold of her leg to gently ease her down on it but she lost her grip & crashed down on me!!!!! My SO came running to see if we were o.k. (I was but she was very upset that she had mashed me) and I told her it was o.k. & we'd do better next time but she never came back. With young women (pre-teens, teenagers), I talk to them about fitness and how important it is to balance, etc & I can relate to them because my weight has flip-flopped occassionally. I feel their pain & try to be encouraging & helpful & still keep them into the horses.

[copper1]

I have no problem turning people away due to weight and I always ask when they call. My problem is with a teenager that has been with me for a long time- good rider but has been letting her weight get away and total lack of fitness. Great kid but a bit lazy and totally not into any kind of fitness activity. How does one get someone like this to start getting into better shape without causing a big problem?

[Thomas_1]

If you do a search on the word obese you'll trawl up a mass of postings on this subject. If you search for my postings with that word you'll find a load of ones I've previously done and some of which detail the approach I take.

You'll also come to discover what a controversial topic you've raised and how each and every one of these threads degenerates till it's locked ;) Normally because it descends into a load of chat by folks talking about how tall they are, how much they weight and how marvellously fit they are despite being on the 'heavier' side. This will develop to individual tales of how much someone's personal horse can carry and remain perfectly healthy for all it's natural life. From there this then goes on to some suggesting that it's illogical and big men can ride all horses ....and are never subject to weight restriction... even allowed to ride tiddly little ponies because they're going to be just heavy because of muscle mass and because they're supreme athletes. From there you'll get a bunch of folks telling you that you're being sexist, heightist, weightist and just darn right discriminatory. If you're really unlucky - yes truly! you'll get some fruit loop emailing you from over the water at the other side of the ocean! to pretend to book a riding lesson and then giving you a torrent of irrational abuse before you get chance to email anything back at all about your strategy of ensuring your horses and customers are protected from risk of injury and/or damage.

I hope my precis will prevent you from being indulged a great deal further ;)

Quick response re how I deal with it: I've a customer awareness sentence displayed on the website. Rather than just having an upper limit per se mine applies to each horse though and is dependent on the height AND weight of the rider. I've actually got some old fashioned very big heavy hunters that could carry half of those posting on this thread comfortably! But they are all over 17 hands so not for smaller height folks. Also not all for novice riders. The sentence says:

For the comfort and safety of our horses and customers maximum weight limitations are in place though we do have some horses to accommodate larger riders.

I ask height and weight for all customers when they first phone to book and if there's a bmi that is going into the grossly obese range then dependent on whether its a novice or experienced rider I talk to them about what I can and can't accommodate appropriate to their height and if it's falling outside what I can provide then I talk about my "getting fit to ride class" or perhaps even carriage driving.

[GettingBack]

I always look at that weight limit and wonder how tall men can ride quarter horses.

I'm 5'9" and weigh ~170 lbs. *Because of my height* this only places me in the "overweight" BMI and not the "Obese" BMI. I'm well balanced and have ridden on and off since I was a kid. But I'm close to the limit. Should I quit riding?? :eek:

This is definitely an area where the short people have an advantage!

[00Jumper]

I always look at that weight limit and wonder how tall men can ride quarter horses.

I'm 5'9" and weigh ~170 lbs. *Because of my height* this only places me in the "overweight" BMI and not the "Obese" BMI. I'm well balanced and have ridden on and off since I was a kid. But I'm close to the limit. Should I quit riding?? :eek:

This is definitely an area where the short people have an advantage!

GB, I am not sure I understand why you stress that your height alone is what keeps you in the overweight range of a BMI chart and not the obese range. Of course if you were 5'3" and 170 you would be obese, but you are not 5'3". Your height is creating your weight - taller people take up more space, they have more weight. ;) You certainly shouldn't quit riding. And trust me, short people do not have an advantage in the weight department, although in the equine weight limit department we certainly do. That said, a 5'7" person who is 170lbs and balanced and schooled is going to be much easier on a horse than a person who is 5'3", 145lbs, overweight and a dead beginner, flopping around. Heck, a 90lb kid gets annoying to the horses sometimes! :lol:

And as far as men riding QHs go, the breed was formulated to be stocky and be able to carry that weight. I would not put a 200lb man on my petite 15.1 WB, but the stereotypical 15.1 QH? Probably would be fine. It depends on the horse's build, their comfort level, and the rider's capability.

Unfortunately there isn't just one easy equation to plug all this into and say "no, sorry, our horses can't accommodate someone of your weight and level". I sympathize with all you trainers who get put in such a spot, but there are some great ideas here, OP. :) Good luck!

[GettingBack]

I'm sorry - posted before I had my coffee this morning :)

I do not mean that because of my height I am overweight, but rather, at the same "body size" per inch, I'm much heavier than a smaller person height-wise.

I'm also quite muscular, which increases that weight dramatically :) I was really more musing than anything else.

[*Teddy*]

Thomas1, the way you put it works well especially for novices

but for me even though im 4"10 am quite comfortable and effective riding a 17hh horse as i am comfortable riding anything from mediums to that and in between. That being said im not a novice at all and have learned to adjust my leg to accomodate this.


here's a pic of me on a 17hh sell francais(we were awesome!)
Its notg recent as hes no longer sound since a pasture injury

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=6132342&l=caaa5&id=605150610

for fun a non riding one:)

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=973235&l=8578a&id=605150610


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[billiebob]

There is a section on our release form that specifies our weight limit, but I'm sure some people wouldn't admit being that heavy. As a bigger rider, I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me over the phone how much I weigh. I'd rather have it that way than face to face. I teach as well, and I stress in lessons that you need to be as light as possible on your horse's back. Most of my students are kids that might weigh tem pounds soaking wet, but it's never a bad lesson to drill them on.

Since you are a smaller lesson program don't feel bad about turning people away. If one of your horses is hurt, it affects your income much more than it would a bigger program, where they most likely have replacement horses.

[Gloria]

Just let them know that you don't have horses that can carry them safely, and make sure to let them know "before" they show up at your place. Most people will understand.

Quite a few years ago I went to a trail ride with a couple of my friends. They were total beginners and one was tall and heavy. I knew there could be some issues with this friend so I called in advance to ask. I specifically asked whether they had horses that could handle my friend's height and weight. They told me no problem just show up. When the group of us showed up, this woman at the counter stared at us, saying "we don't have horses for him!!!" quite rudely like it was our fault.

You can be assured that I never went back to that place again.

[wendy]

We tend to think of 200lbs as a threshhold and with some reason, but...We are generally imagining females for who that weight marks a person we might think of as "heavy." OTOH, a fit 6'2 man with broad shoulders and muscular build can and often does exceed that weight as well.
I know some "heavier" riders who are amongst the best I've ever seen ride.
weight is weight, though. I've seen a horse stagger and almost fall down when a fit large man got on him. Didn't matter the weight wasn't composed of fat, that particular horse just couldn't carry that much weight.

[equusvilla]

Is anyone old enough to remember the Western series called Bonanza? Do you remember the big guy Haas? I saw him on the Tonight show (a million years ago) . Johnny Carson was interviewing him and he told a story of getting ill and having to leave the show for a while to recover. When he came back and mounted the horse he had always used in the series - the horse dropped to his knees! Just a note to say that a horse, even a big horse, must be conditioned to carry a large rider.

[Thomas_1]

Thomas1, the way you put it works well especially for novices

but for me even though im 4"10 am quite comfortable and effective riding a 17hh horse as i am comfortable riding anything from mediums to that and in between. That being said im not a novice at all and have learned to adjust my leg to accomodate this.


here's a pic of me on a 17hh sell francais(we were awesome!)
Its notg recent as hes no longer sound since a pasture injury

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=6132342&l=caaa5&id=605150610



I'm thinking "pea on a drum"

No way would I have someone 4' 10" mounted on a 17 hand horse!

Leg is ineffective up there!

[MelantheLLC]

Is anyone old enough to remember the Western series called Bonanza? Do you remember the big guy Haas?

Hoss.

[dogchushu]

Nearly every place where I've ridden has asked my height and weight before they met me. Sometimes it was on a general form you fill out and submit beforehand, and othertimes it was over the phone. One place told me right off the bat in the first 30 seconds on the phone that they had a weight limit (which made me pause for a moment thinking "wha? does my voice sound fat?" but I got over it! :lol: )

Unfortunately, I don't think there's any way you can avoid "hurt feelings" all together. Weight is a sensitive subject with lots of emotion attached. The best you can do is set a policy that makes sense to you, be as polite as you can, and then not feel guilty when you need to enforce it.

[Penthilisea]

I concur will Thomas, that there are limits, and individuals may vary blah blah blah.
But I will also say, why not offer ground driving lessons to individuals who are on the wrong side of the line of fitness? Lots of other options out there for folks who want to improve fitness and be around horses but are not yet of a small enough size for your lesson horses.

[vacation1]

An informative explanation of why potential rider is not, in your eyes, right for your horse(s) is all that's needed. Everyone gets disappointed by some experience that doesn't pan out. Fat people can take some solace in that. But because it is a subjective and controversial issue, it would be nice to emphasize that this is your opinion, based on your particular horses. Don't offer nutritional/fitness advice. You're talking to a total stranger, some topics are inappropriate. If they ask, sure. But if they don't, leave it be. Even fat people have the right to their privacy.

[findeight]

Is anyone old enough to remember the Western series called Bonanza? Do you remember the big guy Haas?

Hoss...and the guy's name was Dan Blocker. Very well liked, died fairly young.

Back to the topic.

[Daisey-Bogie]

ok I have read everything and I agree and disagree. I will relclaim a history to just make a point. I was 240lb, 5'3". i wanted to ride, took off 17 yrs. before I started again. the place I started with was great. I had the largest horse, but he was gentle. I wanted to ride the smaller sportier horses, but was told they couldn't handle the weight. It all came back very quickly, so I acelled faster than everone else. I was personally concerned about my apprearence every time I went for a lesson. Wore over sized shirt to hind my saddlebags. I got hooked on horses again. So much I managed through connections to muck stalls for lesson from a olympian. I was bascially told in a polite way. i could only ride the larger horses because they for their sake could only take 20% their body weight. when I left 4 yrs. later I was 165, lean mean and I could ride anything. I have since gained a few, but am consistanly concerned for my horse about my few extra pounds. No body should blame, argue with you about the safty of your horses. If you tell them they can not ride due to there weight and they say they are below it, appearences can be deseaving, then let them prove it. If the larger person really wants to ride work with them. It can't hurt. Best place is to start with the stall.

[Quinn]

Hoss...and the guy's name was Dan Blocker. Very well liked, died fairly young.

Back to the topic.

I loved Hoss.

http://community.webshots.com/user/ballyduff

[used2]

You are all so polite.

I rode a lot in my teens and early twenty's. When my wife began to ride again and the kids started I was busy working. There are three horses in the family from the 16.2 h hunter to the 17h jumper. I have time and interest but with the years an expanded girth! 5'8" 210 lbs. My family has just flat out said "dad, your too big to ride."

Looking to maybe get in the saddle for an upcoming birthday gift to myself I've been looking around. The local barns wouldn't even discuss possibility of riders over 200 lbs. Hurt? Maybe, but its nice to think they care about the horses.

[Thomas_1]

I concur will Thomas, that there are limits, and individuals may vary blah blah blah.
But I will also say, why not offer ground driving lessons to individuals who are on the wrong side of the line of fitness? I've never met anyone yet who is too obese to ride that would be fit enough to walk at the pace of a horse to learn to properly and effectively long rein and where I live (wherever you go there's a hill!)

As I said I do offer "be fit to ride" training and also carriage driving.

[JennieRose]

I have found, since moving to the UK, that people here are more up front about the possible "weight issue". Many places have well-published (web or otherwise) weight limits and both release forms/experience forms I've filled out asked point blank my height and weight. I'm lucky that a lot of my weight comes from muscle mass, so I look smaller than I might with what I actually weigh, but I usually suprise my trainers the first time they give me a leg up! I didn't mind, too much, writing it down, but I think that was because I was at the riding schools, and they could see my body type as well. (As opposed to just having been asked over the phone...) I wasn't at the limit, but I think it helps everyone get a more accurate picture if it happens face to face. So much of conversation is non-verbal, that touchy subjects are usually better discussed in person, I think.
I think it's important that all of us be ready to at least talk about this issue--what is the use of being defensive and offended if the person asking us is polite and doing it for the horses' sakes? That said, obviously it's better to ask in such a way that it is clear it's for the horse and not some sort of weird question.