Musings - Common Traits of Confident Riders?

[HoneyOnAHony]

The prospect of 6 more weeks of winter has got me thinking about what I can do to ramp myself up psychologically during this time before riding season really kicks off.

I've done a number of successful things to increase my confidence over the last couple of years - I took weekly lessons on upper level schoolmasters, I wrangled horses on a guest ranch for a summer, I bought a calm, sound horse when I returned and I put both of us in training with an excellent instructor for several months to get his basics down before a job relocation forced me to leave her.

Now, I know that I should be proud of myself for accomplishing all these things and if my trainer lurks on this thread, she'll kick my ass for this, but -

MY INNER WEENIE IS STILL THERE. No matter what I do, it whispers scary things to me in that split second after I've left the mounting block but before my off-side foot is in the stirrup.

I don't remember being a weenie as a kid, and really I am not too far off from those years, relatively speaking - I can't blame creaky bones for my fears or anything. I've never been seriously injured in a fall, knock-on-wood.

I DO know that I am NOT fit and I do NOT have a coveted velcro-seat, however.


I would like to hear some discussion about the commonalities between confident riders - what makes them able to do what they do? Is it just a matter of mileage in the saddle, or is there something psychological to it?
Weenies - what do you admire most about the confident riders you know?

[BuddyRoo]

For me...when all other things are equal (like fitness, been riding a lot, understand what I'm trying to attempt or what the goal is, horse knows the program, etc)....the difference in my confidence level has to do largely with the horse.

Until my "big wreck" about a year and a half ago, I was pretty fearless. Confidence had never been a problem. I've ridden good eggs and bad ones and everything inbetween. But since my injury, confidence has definitely been an issue and the HORSE seems to be the dealbreaker for me.

I have one steady eddy mare that I've had since she was born. We've been riding together for over 15 years. She doesn't spook, she doesn't buck, she'll try anything. On her, I have no fear. (even when I maybe should!) Just none. I know that no matter what I do, she's going to give it a shot and we'll come out the other side just fine.

My other mare sometimes fancies herself a bucking bronc. Complete with rearing. Flipped over on me once (fluke...but still). Very picky. Very difficult ride. Athletic as heck. But when I ride her....when I prepare to ride her...I have to talk myself up.

I used to think this was just the difference between having many many hours on horse A vs horse B...but I learned this summer that it's not.

I had been taking lessons on a mare...nice little mare. Got the opportunity to show at a schooling show--my first OF show--but was going to have to ride a different horse. I only got to pop him over one single...never even got to canter him before our classes. I was fine. We were fine. I wasn't nervous. He knew his job, I knew he was a good egg, and my confidence was fine.

So for me..."knowing" that the horse is honest and going to give it a shot makes a tremendous difference for me.

[XenophonKnows]

Thanks to Lendon's and Dressage4Kids' Weekend Educational Program I can point you towards the work of Gincy Self Bucklin. Her website is www.whatyourhorsewants.com

She gave a very interesting talk about her belief that a lot of 'fear' or 'lack of confidence' comes from people's fear about not knowing how to get themselves OFF of the horse. She explained how she started riders with a bareback pad, and devoted a lot of time to them learning how to get on and off the horse, and how to stay on the horse without reins. She was quite interesting and I think you would find one of her books useful.

[Melyni]

The biggest thing that gives the pros confidence is their saddle hours. Lots of them.
Just keep riding, and riding. It sounds as if you are on the right track, just keep on going.
And don't for a minute think that you are the only one with confidence issues.
I have ridden for 35-40 years, and I still get a squirm when I ride the 3-4 yr olds cos I can never be sure what they are going to do. and I have LOTS of saddle hours, plus bruises and injuries to prove it!

There is an old saying, If you fake you'll make it. Act as if you are totally competent and eventually you will be.
Good Luck
Yours
MW

[WorthTheWait95]

There is an old saying, If you fake you'll make it. Act as if you are totally competent and eventually you will be.


:yes:
When I was 13 or 14 I had a major confidence crisis from owning and (attempting!) to show an extremely dirty, dangerous stopper. We sold that horse after a few months b/c he was going to get someone (me!) killed o/f. He went to a dressage home where he is now, 7 years later, a 4th level star for an ammy which is great but at the time the damage had been done.

Anyway, his big trick was galloping up super confident to the very base of any oxer over 4ft high, leaving the ground with his front feet to trick you into thinking he was jumping then sitting down HARD and flipping himself over instead. :eek::eek:

I was riding on and off with a few BNT's at the time and basically what they drilled into me on my new (very honest) horse was just to fake that I was the most confident rider in the world. They would have me watch the Prix's, which I did anyway, figure out which rider looked the most confident and then 'channel' that rider when I was riding :lol:. After a while it stopped being an act and just started being true. I just kind of forgot to be scared galloping up to spread jumps b/c I never allowed myself to think in any other mind set then that of an uber confident olympian. Sounds silly but it worked! I had alot of success in the high jr/ao's my last few years as a junior and stopped letting the little things phase me.

[Lilykoi]

I only ride good horses. When I was younger I would ride anything, the badder the better, bring 'em! Now I realize its not worth riding the pukes, I leave that for someone else.
Good horses give you confidence. It is true, the older you get, the smarter you get.

[Donnalynn]

Every confident rider I know - at least those who don't buy their confidence in a jar, and some that do for that matter- is confident in life.

Not only with everything going right, just a lot of experience in things getting right eventually.

Interesting what one poster said about having the knowledge to fall well. The folks a little older than me in my first barn had to master falling before being allowed to really ride. Can't say that ever made sense to me when the only thing we heard was 'stay on at all costs'. As a green bean, the spots I picked to fall were always worse than the ones the horse picked for me.

I agree it's a matter of time in the tack. The more your seat knows without your brain being involved, the easier it is.

On a related note, would that mean that when someone accuses us of thinking out our um, behinds we should be flattered?

[Trevelyan96]

For me... my confident moments are those when I'm feeling balanced, and the horse's size is in proportion to mine. I know that a pony or small horse can be just as bad and crazy as a biggger one, but I'm fearless on them because I know I can wrap my legs around, pull up their heads, and fight back. On a larger horse, I'm rocking away up there with no leg, and a good hard pull or buck will send my flying. Even the biggest angel of a horse can hurt you if you're not able to wrap your legs around and stick to them through a big spook or buck.

[Calvincrowe]

I like the poster who said to be balanced and size-matched--so true.

I also think being confident for me is having the courage to go backwards sometimes-- poles on the ground, not jumps, or a canter (or trot) pole lesson. Don't let peer or trainer pressure make you do what you'll regret.

If you are confident, then a good horse will gain that from you, but if you aren't feeling it that day, then back off and do something that helps your mojo before tackling something more.

I waited 30 years for a packer. What a fool I was before! Green horses? Meh. Give me my packer any day. I love my boy--like taking a confidence shot every time I hop on.

[JRG]

I admit....I have in the past nursed my "inner weenie".

Last year I had a very lofty goal. What stood in my way...the "inner weenie". Through the help of this board and some serious research I am loosing the weenie.

I use techniques from sports psycs. to help with that. In addition, I prepare, and prepare. I pay attention to what I am doing and what messages I am sending my saintly animal. I think he is much happier when the "inner weenie" gets locked in a stall before we go to a show.

It boils down to self confidence for me. I have to remind myself of many things. I didn't learn as many things as I have because I sucked. I don't suck. I have earned everything I have done and I deserve to be where I am at.

As for my goal....I was really close, we just ran out of time this year and I caught the last show I could before the shows packed up and headed south.

[jetsmom]

When I am fit I am more confident. When I started working out with weights, everything on the horse seemed easier...shoulders back, sitting up (not curling into the fetal position), stopping a bucking horse after a jump, etc. I'm naturally slim, but tend to have weak abs/back, so adding weight training really helped.

[GettingBack]

Mine will come back as a result of having more good rides than bad, and admitting to myself that it's okay not to ride the youngsters anymore.

Mounting and continuing to not die is good.

Walking and trotting without issue, also good.

Going on a trail ride on a saint of a new horse (I had to buy him) past the scariest things that had me clenched tighter than a....uhhhh....I have no analogy and he didn't do a thing but toss his head because I'm sure my communication down the reins was "OMGIAMGOINGTODIEATANYMOMENTANDSOAREYOU" - VERY very good.

I'm a confident person in life, but having some bad accidents had me down. I'm sure my new horse will eventually do something "bad", but having a horse that I know and trust will be priceless - I just couldn't get that with a schoolie or my greenbean.

[eventchic33]

I am one of those super confidant riders and there are very few horses that I won't get on. A rearer is the main one.

That said here are the reasons that I attribute to my confidence and the things that I teach to my students.

I was taught at a very early age how to fall off and practice doing so (on purpose) every year. As I get older I learn how to adjust my body to falling.

I analyze how every horse moves before I get on them.

I think through every possible scenario and try to come up with solutions.

The biggest thing though is to tell myself it's OK to be nervous. That it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and that I can and will be ok.

[tkhawk]

I agree it's a matter of time in the tack. The more your seat knows without your brain being involved, the easier it is.

On a related note, would that mean that when someone accuses us of thinking out our um, behinds we should be flattered?

Especially quick horses that are experts in the art of teleportation, that helps a lot. It is a neat trick for the body to learn to stay with the horse-let the mind catch up later or at least stay out of the way.

[vacation1]

I think many confident riders have an ability to stay together within themselves, mentally. Me, I make one mistake and often it's over; I freeze, I fall apart, I get tunnel-vision, I lose the rhythm, etc., and I can't put it back together for that little moment in time, I have to take a second to recover somewhat. They make one mistake and they counter; they make another mistake and they counter. They can stitch things back nicely while in the middle of things, which owes something to fitness and something to experience, but I think has a lot to do with mental attitude. Athletic young riders can put it back together en route, but not nicely, and I would characterize them as bold rather than confident. Not a slur, by any means - I'd love to be bold - just that I think they're two different things.

[Tamara in TN]

[QUOTE=HoneyOnAHony;3852594]

MY INNER WEENIE IS STILL THERE. No matter what I do, it whispers scary things to me in that split second after I've left the mounting block but before my off-side foot is in the stirrup.

after I was kicked in the face I had the same feeling...I said to myself
"are you planning on being afraid forever? will you give up the only thing you
do well because you are afraid??"

now there were numerous swear words in there as it was just me and me;)
but that was the gist of it....

best

[ThirdCharm]

I think that most confident riders have a internal locus of control, which means that they believe that THEY influence the outcomes of their life, as opposed to 'external' influences like the environment, other people, luck, god, etc... also they tend to have an optimistic explanatory style, where negative events are external, temporary, and limited in influence. ("My boss torpedo'd my presentation, but he's going to get himself fired eventually and at least the rest of my life is great!" vs "My presentation tanked because I'm stupid, I'm never going to succeed at anything, my entire life is worthless.")

Studies have been done which indicate that people can learn to 'reframe' the way they think about situations, as well as learn to mimic behaviors of optimistic individuals in such a way as to positively impact their own mental state.

Jennifer

[Ajierene]

It more sounds like your instincts for survival are trying to tell you something:

That horse could kill you!

The more you fall off a horse, the more the horse acts up under you, the more likely you will die, the more likely that instinct will tell you not to go near that mare. Kind of like your instinct telling you that jumping off the cliff would be a bad idea.

Some people thrive on the adrenal rush that jumping off the cliff, or righting the naughty horse gives you. Others, not so much. If we all wanted to ride the crazy horses or train the greenies - all those pros and trainers would be out of business.

I would not consider it a confidence problem per se, just a problem with one (or a type of) horse. You can either get to the root of the mare's behavior problems and correct what needs to be corrected and deal with what is part of her personality, or you can sell her. If you are getting scared to ride her, it has to be one or the other.

Everyone meets that obstacle at least once in their life - where they either decide to walk away or get over it. When I was diving in high school, I developed an irrational fear of the reverse dive. For those that do not know, you go off the board forwards, then do a back dive - which means arching back towards the diving board. Skill is required not to conk your head on the board or something. I decided to walk away from diving.

Now I have an irrational fear of one particular jump at one particular jumping venue - I have to make the decision to walk away from eventing or get over the fear. This spring, kiss goodbye to the fear!

A trainer or coach can only do so much - you have to make the decision to get over the fear, if that's what you want. If it is not what you want, there is no shame in it.

It does go back to what Third Charm said - the feeling that you are in control over your life, not the circumstances.

[LouLove]

1)Good solid seat that absorbs the spook, the odd lil buck and the sweetest sitting trot. :)

2)A mount that respects point 1) and knows that you know how to move them forward

3)A mount that trusts in you. See point 2)

4)A mount that you trust. It doesn't have to necessarily be a packer - but it should be a horse that you can get to know - realizing what they will do in a scary situation - and learn to ride for that. For me - my OTTB was a spook - and for her - if I dropped the reins and sat back and breathed - she snorted and continued without a second look. Before I learned that, I pulled at her mouth - hunched over - and prayed...didn't work...she would spook harder and farther and would pick up a canter to get the hell away from me because I had no leadership skill.

5)Zero pressure on yourself.


LL

[HoneyOnAHony]

I said to myself "are you planning on being afraid forever? will you give up the only thing you
do well because you are afraid??"

now there were numerous swear words in there as it was just me and me;)
but that was the gist of it....

THANK YOU!

I can see this working for me. My trainer has said before that I need to turn my attitude around and get aggressive with myself when that inner weenie gets too loud.

To clarify, my horse is NOT dangerous and I've never ever had that "shit, I gotta get off!!!" feeling on him, I actually think we are a wonderful match - he's only offered one little buck, ever, and that was when my trainer was riding. I'm more concerned about keeping up my end of the bargain by being a good, confidence-inspiring leader and making sure that I'm not inadvertently creating problems by letting the "what-ifs" get the best of me.

To whoever suggested filming my rides, I think this would be great because the rational side of my brain does say "you realize this is nothing more than him giving you the hairy eyeball and NOT a crisis, right?"

Thanks for the input, everyone - there is such a wide range of responses to this type of question, I am really enjoying the discussion.

[katarine]

paraphrasing eventchick here...I am one of those confidant riders and there are few horses that I don't want to get on. The pointless ones, mostly- where I'll get the horse going well, the owner gets back on, laughs it off as a fluke, and goes back to being miserable together. And I don't do nasty horses: I don't ride enough anymore to have that quick instinct I had in my younger years ;)

That said here are the reasons that I attribute to my confidence.

I analyze how every horse moves before I get on them. I get inside what is up.

I think through every possible scenario and try to come up with solutions. I ride with a plan, every ride, everytime. Do it often enough and the warm up becomes a comforting, rote experience, AND you'll notice when the horse is off, mentally, not just physically. If he's bothered- you'll feel it. If a horse gets worried about X, note it, plan for it, ride it. Done.

The biggest thing though is to tell myself it's OK to be nervous. That it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and that I can and will be ok.

I truly pay zero attention, save for staying safe and not running over each other...to other riders/audience/spectators. They cease to exist when I get on a horse. It's me and the horse and I don't give two toots what anyone thinks who's watching. That's very freeing :) just ride your horse.

People overthink bloopers. The horse just thinks what just happened? So what? and now what? the faster the rider gets in sync with that, accepts that it is HISTORY, to be noted and respected but not overanalyzed, the better.

[EqTrainer]

I am a very confident rider.. I attribute that at least partly to the fact that I have put in the time learning a cohesive system of riding and it never lets me down... the answer to the problem is in the system. If I had to boil that down to one thing, it is that the move that saves your a$$ the most is letting go. Taking your leg OFF. Putting your hand FORWARD. Not trying to control the horse by force, but by understanding why they panic and how to defuse that..

Knowing that I can do those things, even in the scariest moments (because I do get scared, but it's compartmentalized, and doesn't interfere w/my riding) allows me to handle what is happening.

I also knew, from an early age, that some horses are just not trainable. As I've gotten older I've refined that understanding and I know now that some horses are not trainable, some horses are trainable but have low rideability, and all other sorts of combinations exist. I won't waste my time on a horse w/inherently low trainability. I strongly encourage my clients not to, either. They will destroy your confidence and teach you bad habits.

I also hear the little voice when I put my foot into the stirrup, actually it's Mapleshades voice (she knows why) and I acknowledge it and get on anyway. I have taught some very fearful people.. they have become successful when given the skills to actually ride the horse, rather than being taken for a ride. I encourage anyone who is struggling with fear to seek out a trainer who can get down to the biomechanics of riding and show you how to develop a seat like glue. Being secure, not only in the tack but in what you know, gives you confidence.

[Beverley]

Well, I would agree that hours in the saddle is a key. I've been riding for 50 years, and when a horse spooks or wheels or stumbles, 'muscle memory' just seems to unconsciously kick in and I stay aboard without really thinking about it, instead I might be focused on what caused the 'whatever' and how to fix it pronto.

I would say that a key element is to NOT stop communicating with your horse when the going gets tough. Riders who 'freeze' and leave the horse to sort things out often end up with a pretty bad wreck, where if they had just ridden through that little crisis of confidence, a 'fake it til you make it' fix, they'd have been okay.

Another thing, I have fallen off sooooo many times over the decades, it just isn't that big a deal to me, except it does hurt more these days.:) My rule of thumb is still valid, if I have time for a cuss word or two before I hit the ground, I'll be fine.

[PNWjumper]

I'm a confident rider and I'd say that there are several pieces to it:

the first is that I have history....I've ridden my whole life and rode all the rank and awful ones for my trainer through my childhood when I was too stupid to be afraid (and I'll forever hear his voice in my head saying things that are counterintuitive to survival like, "he can't buck if you're galloping!"). It's given me a different perspective to bad behavior than I think I would have if I'd started at a later point in life. In addition to the rank horses I showed through a high level as a teenager, which means that when I'm nervous about doing something in particular (like jumping a big fence) I at least have the memories of having done it successfully years ago meaning that I can quash some of my anxiety.

the second is that as a person I tend to do well in crisis moments and deep down I believe I can handle anything (logically I know I can't :lol:)....when a horse freaks out or does something really awful I tend to react before I even get a chance to think about it. Now that I'm older I try not to put myself in situations that could go an unexpected direction, but if they do I know I can handle it.

the third part is as much saddle time as possible. When I'm riding at least two or three horses a day I'm naturally more confident than when I'm only riding one. The ability to deal with several different horses gives me a confidence that I *do* know what I'm doing.....I second guess myself less, I suppose.

and the final part that comes to mind is sitting on an animal you trust. I have the confidence to do just about anything on my mare, but I'm still working through trust issues with my gelding who's prone to fits of bucking whenever he gets excited about anything. And my other horses run the gamut of trust levels. I have one gelding who's a terror to ride, but I completely trust him to never do anything stupid that might hurt me....so it's not just a well behaved horse that wins my trust. It's a certain attitude.....one of self preservation I guess. I've had a few that would hurt themselves trying to get out of a scary situation, and god knows the rider isn't even a blip on the radar to a horse like that. I don't keep horses like that around any longer....it's just not worth it.

I suppose there's actually one more thing (and several others have mentioned this).....trust in my own ability to assess a horse and decide whether it's something I can or want to deal with. I started breaking a 4yo TB who turned into the craziest bronc-type horse on my second ride (we were doing a really basic walk-halt-walk-halt while being led by a helper) and got me off without even that split-second-that-lasts-forever-moment where you think, "am I coming off? No, I can hang on! Oops, nope, I'm definitely going off!" :lol: I promptly sent the horse to a natural horseman-type trainer who deals with problem horses and he's been working steadily with him for 3 months. With two little kids at home I know that I don't want to deal with the unpredictable ones at all anymore.

Okay, those are my musings on the subject.....didn't think I had that much to say!

[grabmaneandgo]

I like this one: "I think through every possible scenario and try to come up with solutions."

I'm a weenie rider with a confident seat, if that makes any sense. I always have a Plan B no matter who I'm riding or where I'm riding. Once you experience a few spooks, exuberant gallops xc, trips, crow hops, etc., you realize that these things don't have to be the end of your riding. Living through them gives your body the memory it needs to stay on and stay tight for the next time. That leads to greater confidence.

Also, if you try to ride just a wee bit outside your comfort zone every now and again (in a safe and controlled environment), you'll find that your comfort zone actually expands with every effort, naturally building confidence as you go.

[coloredhorse]

I think through every possible scenario and try to come up with solutions.

This is one thing I've noted seems to be pretty universal among confident riders. They tend to analyze horse misbehavior/surprising behavior as "a problem." Not "a scary thing." Not "something to avoid at all costs." A "problem" that has a "solution." The analysis is important, too. I've observed that confident riders, when discussing how they dealt with a problematic ride, are very, very good at breaking the situation down quickly into subproblems ... sometimes in advance, as eventchic33 wisely indicated she does :D and sometimes spur-of-the-moment, as required. Each subproblem has a distinct response. The key is that it's done analytically, not emotionally, the responses driven by logic rather than a response to fear.

Being a not-anywhere-near-innately-confident rider myself, I have found that when I strive to mimic this mindset (regardless of my knee-jerk internal reaction, which is usually along the lines of :eek:), I get a better response from the horse, which increases my confidence, which instills a still-better response from the horse ... and we have a positive circle going.

And this helps to build something PNWJumper mentioned that I think is also very important: Memories of success. If you can play your successful rides frequently in your head, it helps build your mental toolbox, just as lessons with a good coach build your physical toolbox.