New "Sports" Invented around the Barn

[dressagetraks]

I'll go first, with this morning's chores fresh in mind:

Barn Cat Slalom. :lol::D:lol: On a sheer ice sheet, dodge barn cats on the walk to their bowls while attempting not to fall and not to spill the barn cat food. Bonus points for style and form in your turns and for wild arm gyrations while still not spilling. Deduct points per kibble spilled. Unlimited falls granted by the officials - you MUST reach the finish line, however long and painful the course may be. Difficulty level depends on the number of barn cats involved, but even if you start out at novice, you usually find yourself advancing through the levels of competition faster than you would like. Safety gear optional but probably not a bad idea. Also, "use of voice" carries no penalty in this event.

Other events?

[hosshopper13]

manure ball fights! it sounds bad when you say it out loud and looks bad in writing...but i have participated and started many of these...and i think the only rule is a given: diarrhea is a no no!

[Mendin Fences]

Stealing horses and moving them around the property while convincing the 14yr old who left their stall open a crack that they ran away. :lol:

[WorthTheWait95]

We goat wrangle alot at my barn when our obese goat escapes. It generally involves being dragged around by said goat if you're lucky enough to actually make contact but more often then not it's just us making crazy dashes toward the wild beast and getting knocked over when she bolts.

[DeeThbd]

Musical stalls.....realizing that as you are helping bring in "the herd" that you mix up two of your OWN geldings and put them into each other's stalls. Having two OTTBs looking at you as if you are a few bricks short....very, very humbling.:lol:
Dee

[SarahandSam]

Ice dressage, practiced in your decidedly non-four-wheel-drive vehicle while negotiating the long, slippery barn driveway. Lower levels involve simple changes in gait and leg yields on and off the grass; the most difficult maneuver is the halt. Upper levels involve pirouettes; the halt has a lower coefficient, because it generally involves a snowbank and/or the pasture fence.

[billiebob]

Goat wrangling? Check.

Ice dressage? Check.

At my old barn we used to have races with wheelbarrows full of fresh shavings or manure. We also played capture the polo ball on horseback.....funnest game ever.

[00Jumper]

Team Skiing: While hand-walking your horse down the slight incline to its stall from the indoor, slide gracefully together on the sheet of ice that is not vulnerable to your measly salt! Bonus points for human not hanging onto horse's blanket and screaming, or for horse realizing what is going on and simply planting feet and sliding.

And although it is already an established sport, figure-skating (sans horses of course!) on the sheet of ice that is the outdoor ring has become quite popular at my barn.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[caradino]

:lol:

hehe!

sheep wrangling, and "let's see who can stay on the evil 10hh pony the longest as he bucks and bucks and bucks until you fall off into the snow."

and one sport that was only attempted once: "walk onto the frozen pond and jump and see if the ice is strong enough to hold you"

it wasn't.

[wateryglen]

Barn Basset Skating! Accompanied by Chicken vogue-ing/posing and Cat Contortioning on Ice! All ice/winter sports soon to be the next fads!

Barn Basset Skating!
Sport in which basset runs across iced yard and finds hind end and front end are going different speeds and different directions. Both speed and style are judged high by the Russian judge.

Chicken posing
- a form of chicken modeling where they stay in the sun on one leg outa the wind in one position for long periods. Longest still positions wins. Look like yard flamingo's.....

Cats on Ice
Lot like those skating tv shows. Lotsa runs/stops while cat shows off to the others how well they negotiate ice on top. Uncanny balance & changes of directions earns bonus points! Looking cool and unruffled absolutely essential to a good score. Avoiding mud or snow earns a nod from the US judge who scores her a 9.5! Sponsors have signed on for another year!

[allpurpose]

You guys are hysterical!! Thanks for sharing! Here's one of my favorite winter sports:

Event: Snow Slide Spook and Scoot

Equipment: Sunny day; fresh horse; indoor arena

Points are awarded randomly for 1) Staying on; 2)Rider Position(s) while staying on; 3)Fastest horsey acceleration; 4)Longest horsey acceleration; and 5)Moisture content (ahem :eek:) of your winter britches after 1, 2, 3 and 4 have been performed. :D

[Vesper Sparrow]

Visiting the Indoor Arena Museum

This is more a cultural than a sporting activity, and is an antidote to the afore-mentioned Snow Slide Spook and Scoot.

Equipment required: snorty TB, bridle, saddle

It involves, before mounting up, strolling around the arena several times and stopping to look at all the new "exhibits" in the museum, which may include, but are not limited to:

Snow Inputs: any little rivulets of snow that have been blown into the arena through the cracks. Like all performance art, is most compelling when it is in the process of being created.

The Water Cycle: ice melting and dripping from the ceiling and then forming a frozen puddle; particularly arresting

The Ice Sculpture Cafe: smelling frozen manure balls provides a few moments of relaxation before going on to the next "exhibit"

New Installations: extra blankets, saddle pads (particularly scary) or other equipment that was not there before.

Jumps, Standards, etc.: philistine crowd-pleasing stuff that is usually of little interest

To enhance the experience (and provide an opportunity to warm up the muscles), the whole exercise can be done at a jog. This is particularly exciting because snorty TB has no idea why it is occurring, so results in even more snorty behaviour.

[joiedevie99]

New Installations: extra blankets, saddle pads (particularly scary) or other equipment that was not there before.

Totally true. We call this Equine Pinball. As the indoor becomes littered with jackets and coolers, horses, particularly of the jumper variety, tend to bounce around much like a pinball as they spook at something on their right, then notice something scary to the left and dart back the original direction. Occasionally a quarter sheet will fly off a moving horse, causing you to back up suddenly or leap into the air.

[zippandrich]

Tools needed a very clam 4 year old when he chooses to be, a plastic sled as you pass the local walmart and go i wonder if i can tie the sled to my horse. a very game 17 year old and tons of snow.

Once you figure out how to tie the sled on and your realize you need ropes you go to the barn managers boyfriend and ask him to unlock her tack room with the answer of no was told to not help you guys. Okay twine will work too :) take your lunge lines and run them through your strips and hook them up to your bit tie the twine to your western clinch which you then add your lead ropes too. tie the sled on and hop on and go for a ride :) LMAO i think that was the most fun i've had with that horse. I loved when he spooked once and just jumped in spot like oh god mom is on that plastic thing and jaz is on the saddle can't hurt them :)

Another game of said sane 4 year old :) Spook at the little girl in the pink coat and pink boots and run lmao

[VWBug]

Barn-dog bowling

3 dogs, a slope that acquired a thick film of frozen snow/ice on it overnight, a stray cat at bottom of slope.

Open front door, dogs espy the intruder and take off, and when they hit the icy slope end up on their butts, careening off each other, 12 legs tangling and scrambling to get some kind of purchase, only to end up in a heap, their dignity in tatters and a stray cat who will live to see another day.

Maybe it was more like barn-dog-pin-ball.

ETA that Vesper - your post CRACKED me up.

[BuddyRoo]

Sickly Barn Chore Bingo

Requirements: You must have a puking, can-hardly-stand-upright for 2 min, coughing, legs are gumby type virus.

Points awarded for:
A) going out to the barn at all if you really don't HAVE to.
B) moving/stacking hay and not falling down exhausted or vomiting
C) mucking stall and not vomiting
D) sitting on horse/trotting around for 5 minutes bareback--because it's the warmest day of winter and you haven't sat on a horse for 3 mos and you just MUST--and not vomiting.

If you do all four without vomiting, You win!

[AppendixQHLover]

Mouse jumping
Requirements: Mouse, and cat

Cat catches mouse. Brings you the present while working with horse. Most preferably when you are bent over picking up feet. Cat drops mouse at your feet. You jump a foot, sleepy horse jumps a foot because he is a horse. Cat is looking at you like I brought you a present. Yeah...that is fun

Mud bogging
Riding in outdoor arena on the nicest warm day. Mud is deep on one of the ring. Horse goes one way, you go other. Laying in mud, horse looks at you like. I told you I don't like mud.

[Come Shine]

Ice dressage, practiced in your decidedly non-four-wheel-drive vehicle while negotiating the long, slippery barn driveway. Lower levels involve simple changes in gait and leg yields on and off the grass; the most difficult maneuver is the halt. Upper levels involve pirouettes; the halt has a lower coefficient, because it generally involves a snowbank and/or the pasture fence.

lol!

[GrayTbred]

While riding, you deal with your runny nose by any means necessary. Extra points for keeping your shoulders and elbows in place while your hands reach up frantically to the face.

[2DogsFarm]

I think we have several Winners already...
Vesper & Buddyroo: y'all are killing me!

Barncat Slalom - can easily be played with just one 5# cat
Ice dressage - yup, been there, done that, nearly took out a fencepost...

And as I am fighting a head cold, BR's list is sadly apt - except substitute uncontrollable sneezing and running nose for puking.

To the Indoor Museum, may I add an interactive display?
Stacked Hay Relay
Take 2 horses loose in the indoor for some snow & ice-free leg-stretching.
Add 150 bales of carefully stacked hay in one corner.

Team Member 1 distracts me by rolling while Team Member 2 sneaks a mouthful from a bale in the middle of the stack.

Extra points if the bale is dislodged, making the whole stack less-than-stable.

Bonus points if the entire bale is pulled loose resulting in an avalanche of bales.

Both Team Members then spook and run/buck/fart while I restack hay, cursing the whole time...

I get Extra points if I manage to restack all the hay before one of them starts the whole process over again.

Did you know horses can snigger?

[Vesper Sparrow]

Did you know horses can snigger?

:yes::yes::yes::yes::yes::lol::lol:

[BuddyRoo]

And as I am fighting a head cold, BR's list is sadly apt - except substitute uncontrollable sneezing and running nose for puking.

I played the game just yesterday in fact. I didn't puke. I was pretty proud of myself. It's been 6 days now. Please God. Just kill me now. :cry:

Another game I got to play yesterday was:

How much emergency hay can you fit in your brand new car? And can you make it to the barn in all that snow? Really? AKA: Breaking in a New Vehicle

To play: You need a brand new vehicle...preferably the first you've EVER had. Still smells like new car after just a month of ownership. You have to be REALLY REALLY proud of how, thus far, you've managed to keep horse stuff out of the vehicle except for when you actually need it (as opposed to the old car which typically carried an entire tack room, assorted shavings and hay)

AND...your hay supplier has to chuck out on you so you must procure a few bales and transport them. Urgent.

AND the drive to the barn has to be drifted over at least a foot and a half.

SCORING:
-points for fitting 4 bales in even though the math suggests 3 is the max. Stacking ingenuity...

-points for not crying when you realize that your car will never be hay free again. Forevermore, there will be pokey bits of hay embedded in the carpet and seats. Your car is no longer a barn virgin and has become "A barn car".

-points for realizing once stuck in the driveway up to the axles, that you bought 4WD and you even remember how to use it!

-points for not crying again when you unload the hay and see the unGodly mess.

-points for not crying again on Monday morning as you drive to work, put the window down a tad to have a smoke, and hay starts swirling around the cabin.

:lol:

[2DogsFarm]

To play: You need a brand new vehicle...preferably the first you've EVER had. Still smells like new car after just a month of ownership. You have to be REALLY REALLY proud of how, thus far, you've managed to keep horse stuff out of the vehicle except for when you actually need it

BR:
:lol:
In your Heart of Hearts did you ever really believe this car would not become a Barncar? The bolded line says it all. Ha!
Resistance is Futile...

[SarahandSam]

To the Indoor Museum, may I add an interactive display?
Stacked Hay Relay

They're just playing Jenga!

LOL on the nose-wiping... I just realized my balance was finally improving yesterday when for the first time I wiped my nose mid-jump!

[pony grandma]

Ice sliding off the arena roof levades game.

Rider has to guess which way the horse is going to go! :D Rider scores more pts if they go the same way.

[Vesper Sparrow]

BR, don't worry, it isn't formally a barn car until you have an indigenous fly population inside to match. My fly population shows up in about June and hangs around until about October. I won't say what they live on while in the car...

[WorthTheWait95]

BR, don't worry, it isn't formally a barn car until you have an indigenous fly population inside to match. My fly population shows up in about June and hangs around until about October. I won't say what they live on while in the car...

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

I thought I was the only one! I waged a war against them this summer. Kept all my windows rolled up and never left a door open longer then it takes to enter/exit. I STILL had tons of flies throughout the summer! I'm anal about vaccuming my car and keeping it clean so I really have no idea how they are surviving in there but there seemed to be three new ones every day! :mad::confused::lol:

[Alibhai's Alibar]

Visiting the Indoor Arena Museum

This is more a cultural than a sporting activity, and is an antidote to the afore-mentioned Snow Slide Spook and Scoot.

Equipment required: snorty TB, bridle, saddle

It involves, before mounting up, strolling around the arena several times and stopping to look at all the new "exhibits" in the museum, which may include, but are not limited to:

Snow Inputs: any little rivulets of snow that have been blown into the arena through the cracks. Like all performance art, is most compelling when it is in the process of being created.

The Water Cycle: ice melting and dripping from the ceiling and then forming a frozen puddle; particularly arresting

The Ice Sculpture Cafe: smelling frozen manure balls provides a few moments of relaxation before going on to the next "exhibit"

New Installations: extra blankets, saddle pads (particularly scary) or other equipment that was not there before.

Jumps, Standards, etc.: philistine crowd-pleasing stuff that is usually of little interest

To enhance the experience (and provide an opportunity to warm up the muscles), the whole exercise can be done at a jog. This is particularly exciting because snorty TB has no idea why it is occurring, so results in even more snorty behaviour.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Love it!

[Vesper Sparrow]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

I thought I was the only one! I waged a war against them this summer. Kept all my windows rolled up and never left a door open longer then it takes to enter/exit. I STILL had tons of flies throughout the summer! I'm anal about vaccuming my car and keeping it clean so I really have no idea how they are surviving in there but there seemed to be three new ones every day! :mad::confused::lol:


What really got me was when I brought some in (I think they were hanging out in my purse, which had been in the car) into an art gallery that I was visiting for a friend's vernissage. The art gallery owner (the place was meticulously clean) looked around and said, "where did those flies come from?"
It was mortifying.

[WorthTheWait95]

What really got me was when I brought some in (I think they were hanging out in my purse, which had been in the car) into an art gallery that I was visiting for a friend's vernissage. The art gallery owner (the place was meticulously clean) looked around and said, "where did those flies come from?"
It was mortifying.

:lol:
I fully admit to claiming my air conditioner was broken when it was actually working fine in order to have an excuse to keep the windows rolled down when driving with friends in the hope some of them would fly out the window. :uhoh: I get tired of the nonhorsey set being weirded out by my personal fly colony!

[amastrike]

Stealing horses and moving them around the property while convincing the 14yr old who left their stall open a crack that they ran away. :lol:

This really is the best one ever! Bonus points for using the hoofprints in the snow your own horse left as a clue to finding the "lost" horse. Degree of difficulty depends on how close the 14 year old comes to seeing you steal the horse and/or move it from hiding place to hiding place.

[tazz001]

Water bucket skating

Hauling two 3 gallon bucket of hot water to two very spoiled mini donks twice a day over ice covered or poorly plowed lawn/driveway w/o getting soaked

ahhh the joys of winter...barn sports are the worst