Suggestions for horse movie

[chukkerchild]

My friend and I are planning on making a little horse flick this spring-- it's going to be a mockery of all the classic horse movies that are out there. I was wondering if any of you had suggestions about what sort of things I could put in there. I'm definitely going to have her going to "Nationals", everyone snobbily saying she won't make it around the course, the announcer saying she looks like a hopeful newcomer, and her getting dumped at the first fence.

[LearnToFly]

the horse has to be dangerous and misunderstood to everyone else except the protagonist. But their bond changes him and he will do anything for her. He's also probably some weird breed that everyone will make fun of her for. Like doing grand prixs with a TWH

Oh, and they have to work with an old burned-out trainer that hasn't trained in a really long time because of something that happened in his past. I'm kind of invisioning that he should probably wear a straw hat. He also probably acts like a harda$$ the whole time but at the end when they win the championship, you see him crying because he's really an old softie.

And there HAS to be a prissy Hunter/Jumper princess who is a total B*tch.

[LexInVA]

Have her wear the worst looking riding ensemble you can throw together with a pair of rubber boots, call her horse something cheesy like "Spirit Dreamer", give her a broken family with an alcoholic (but not abusive since it's a kid movie) father, and she has to be in love with the groom of the girl who is always ragging on her.

[LearnToFly]

Lex, between the two of us, I think we just perfectly described Moondance Alexander :lol::lol:

[GrayTbred]

Just remember that we MUST hear whinnying every time the horse is in the shot.

[Houdini1220]

The main character has to go from hardly being able to ride, to being the best rider around in under a month.

[bethechangexx]

Get some horse facts wrong.

The horse double needs to be a different color, size, and/or sex than the original.

[RHdobes563]

Get some horse facts wrong.

The horse double needs to be a different color, size, and/or sex than the original.

And breed. You know, how they always use an Arabian horse with flagging tail for the running loose/first-time-seen-by-heroine, and then when she rides him, he's moving like a barely awake trail horse?

Oh, and maybe our heroine can fall into a well, and the horse gallops home (or wherever) for help? Or figures how to pull the lariat (yes, even if she is riding "English"), throws it in the well himself with his teeth, and pulls her out.

[bethechangexx]

The horse needs to get sick and almost die before being saved by our hero/ione. Then he should be fine in 3 days to win the championship.

Also, actors need to speak in a hollow voice and be generally unsuitable for the roles. (Derby Stallion style- watch this movie. You WILL be inspired.)

[Foxtrot's]

and you will post it on YouTube so we can all get to see it :D

[Foxtrot's]

Nobody ever has any money in these movies but somehow they prevail.

[TikiSoo]

The horse needs to change color/size/breed for any given scene.

I want to see a chestnut in the barn, a bay for close ups, and a spotted fat pony win the race by a nose!

[Sail Away]

[QUOTE=LearnToFly;3848993]the horse has to be dangerous and misunderstood to everyone else except the protagonist. But their bond changes him and he will do anything for her. He's also probably some weird breed that everyone will make fun of her for. Like doing grand prixs with a TWH
QUOTE]

The horse is pulled out of the buyer's truck at the last minute at an auction she was forbidden to go to. As she approached the trailer he whinnies and gives her a look where they connect. He is dirty and beat up but she sees deep into his eyes and begs the buyer for the horse. He says he'll sell him for $500 but she is broke. As he is closing the trailer door the horse starts whinnying some more, rears and at that moment the buyer tells the girl to get the dang horse off the trailer. "He's yours" he shouts. "Just get him off the truck and go".

[Anselcat]

And winning the "Nationals" comes with a huge cash prize!! Which is desperately needed to save the ranch/animal sanctuary/orphanage.

[BestHorses]

When the protagonist enters the ring to jump the final round, the jumps are huge. When the actor is actually jumping (crossrails of course), the camera is on the ground shooting up so the crossrails look bigger.

Alternately, you could have the actor enter the ring at the start of the round and while the course is being ridden we see the horse jumping with the character's head cut out of the shot. The double's body type is vastly different from the actor's (female character = male jumper double in wig, etc.)

[Sail Away]

The evil rival will try and sabotage the ride but will be caught in the nick of time by her dad who had a change of heart when he saw how wonderful the main character is.

[chukkerchild]

the horse has to be dangerous and misunderstood to everyone else except the protagonist. But their bond changes him and he will do anything for her. He's also probably some weird breed that everyone will make fun of her for. Like doing grand prixs with a TWH

Oh, and they have to work with an old burned-out trainer that hasn't trained in a really long time because of something that happened in his past. I'm kind of invisioning that he should probably wear a straw hat. He also probably acts like a harda$$ the whole time but at the end when they win the championship, you see him crying because he's really an old softie.

And there HAS to be a prissy Hunter/Jumper princess who is a total B*tch.

Ahahaha this is perfect!!

AND I can't forget to have the random 'announcer' annoucing her round and saying things like, "WOW! What a rider!! Where did this unknown star come from? Ladies and gentleman, I think we may have a new winner on our hands!" And other random things that announcers would NEVER say.

I have four horses ready for it, and it's pretty funny because they are all black, but incredibly different looking. One is a Morgan cross (for the quiet, lower-lip hanging scenes) and one is a 16 hand jug-headed TB for the walking along scenes, one is a blaze-faced black Thoroughbred for the unmistakeable "gallop in slow motion interspersed with whinnies" and one is a black mare that can actually jump. :lol: I'm always baffled by how they think we won't catch on. I mean, is it THAT hard to find one or two horses that can do the whole thing?? The best is when the main actress gets to hold the reins of the horse that actually does the jumping while she looks over the course, but obviously isn't allowed to sit on it because she can't ride well enough. (Cough cough, Lightning the White Stallion, I'm looking at YOU.)

[lcw579]

I think the heroine should ride an arapintaloosa. I hear that is what all the olympic hopefuls are buying these days. :winkgrin:

[5]

For the wild horse scene use a rodeo clip that has gone into public domain.
Have the alchoholic father drink 'Night Train fortified wine and show it in the background.
Name the horse Night Train and make sure it is a very light horse when she refers to him as "Strong like a train and black as night"
Change the horse four or five times in the barn during a conversation with someone Black, Paint, Gray, Chestnut, palomino etc all while the heroine is brushing him. (switch everytime the camera cuts from one actor to the other back and forth - make sure the same halter with the horses name is visible Non horse people don't notice the horse switch unless it is truly obvious.)
Make sure the video and audio is a full second out of synch so it reminds you of a 1960's Godzilla movie.
Instead of constant whinnying in the background have a mule & burro braying, zebra yelping, etc.
For the horses first show use clips from the most recent Olympics ( Olympic rings visible in background) and have the actors refer to it as the local 4-H show and that with enough hard work Night Train & heroine may be good enough to enter something competitive on the state level.

Etc.
Etc.

[Jealoushe]

Most definitly needs to bow a tendon and get nursed back to perfect health just in time for the Nationals!

[FlightCheck]

Don't forget to have the "Olympic Coach" at "the Nationals" watching, and offering her a spot "on the Team".

[Fixerupper]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Rienzi]

In the scenes where you actually use the same horse for the whole scene, make sure you change the tack (off-camera) so every time the horse is seen, it has a different bridle, saddle, martingale, etc.

Must have a running scene where you use a hobby-horse neck bobbing up and down for the foreground in the close-up of the rider.

Get the local funny TV weather guy to do the announcing in the competitions.

Any ribbons given out must be from a fair vegetable/flower/pie competition. Any trophies should have something completely inappropriate on the top, like a car or antique tractor.

No matter where the scene takes place, there should be the same person walking through the background.

[caradino]

oh my gosh these are PRICELESS ideas!!

you also have to have great "training" scenes. you know, when the horse is still wild and misunderstood and our heroine waves her arms at it while it runs franticly around a round pen (whinnying and snorting all the while) and rears and bucks. and then the next day she gets on to ride it and jumps courses. because they have a majikal bond that allows her to do this with a previously dangerous and un-broke horse because he loooooooooves her.

[Anselcat]

Have the alchoholic father drink 'Night Train fortified wine and show it in the background. Name the horse Night Train and make sure it is a very light horse when she refers to him as "Strong like a train and black as night".

:lol::lol::lol:

And somewhere the horse has to rear up and stomp to death a rattlesnake that is about to bite the girl.

[Rienzi]

Or drive off a mountain lion. Or a regular lion.

[5]

If you could throw in a carousel horse or two that would be a hoot.
Or drive off a mountain lion. Or a regular lion.
Would a Mercury Cougar (the car) do? You could use a matchbox car for the stomping the cougar to death scene- props would cost a buck or so.

For the injured horse scene show a breyer horse with a broken off leg, cut to the actors discussing a bowed tendon.

Have the grizzled old trainer be a tough looking member of a biker gang ala Hells Angles (They usually own successful tire shops if you are looking for a person who looks and acts the part- come on those bikes cost 50-70K you don't think bikers are 'poor' do you?)

[VWBug]

These are HILARIOUS.

When the rider has to make the horsie go she must flap her elbows and her reins and say "h'YAW, h'YAW"

And evil nemesis must manage to injure horsie just before the match race, the wound only to be discovered seconds before the starter pistol (yup!) goes off, but horse pushes through the pain and wins the race for his mistress because of their magikal bond.

[vacation1]

1) Have a heart-tugging tag line complete with *meaningful* swelling chords of music a la Seabiscuit, but have the action completely invalidate the line seconds later - ie, "Sometimes ya gotta give a horse a second chance," cut to the horse being trucked off to auction.

2) A long, Black Stallion-esque maximium-cinematography shot of Wild Stallion and Our Heroine drawing closer and closer and closer, almost to the point of WS trusting her... And then he stomps her.

3) A grumpy, grizzled old-timer agrees to train Our Heroine for the Big Event; he shouts, he is cranky, he is Mr. Grizzled for multiple scenes. Finally, though, he reveals his Big Softy side - as he makes a play for Our Heroine in the hayloft.

4) Heroine goes to local Barn and hangs out, looking winsome and hopeful. Barn owner completely ignores her. The end.

5) Heroine rescues sick, hurt and abused horse from auction/abuser/swamp/cougar/etc. Horse turns out to be unsound, dangerous and crazy.

6) Villain Bitch rides better than Heroine, has a wonderful relationship with her horse, is secretly dying of Prettier-As-You-Decline Disease, and is a natural blonde whose parents beat her. And she volunteers at an animal shelter.

[VWBug]

The heroine-rider starts out looking frumpy and sad, but becomes a knockout simply by taking down her ponytail and taking off her glasses.

[mybelle]

I agree that there needs to constant neighing in the background. I think the general idea here is that the storyline must be bad. I know that I will watch a horse-related movie no matter how bad the plot.

[Blugal]

If the horse does not sustain and overcome some type of non-life threatening injury during the final (victorious) competition, then it is imperative that there is something else they must overcome - rider injury (dislocated shoulder? broken hand?), broken tack (villain pulling bridle over ears, or sabotaging the girth), another rider pushing them (if it's a race), someone changing the route (endurance ride) etc.

[Blugal]

Also it would be funny to see a typical grizzled female trainer, a la bleached blonde hair, leather smoker's face.

[Anselcat]

What's so funny is that so much of this was in Coppola's Black Stallion.... but I LOVE that movie!

[5]

Also it would be funny to see a typical grizzled female trainer, a la bleached blonde hair, leather smoker's face.

Oh that is way better than my biker suggestion. She can own a gun store or maybe she is the town barfly/drunk.

You have to work in somehow the heroine stopping by the nail salon where her friend works and her asian friends first reaction is. "Why ride horse? You get D.U.I?"

[RHdobes563]

6) Villain Bitch rides better than Heroine, has a wonderful relationship with her horse, is secretly dying of Prettier-As-You-Decline Disease, and is a natural blonde whose parents beat her. And she volunteers at an animal shelter.

:lol: :lol: :lol: