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4Martini
Jan. 8, 2009, 09:49 PM
I'm looking for a gift for a friend who's having her first baby. I'm looking for suggestions on things that helped you get to the barn even with a baby! Can you tell I don't know a whole lot about baby stuff?

Thanks!

hoser1
Jan. 8, 2009, 10:05 PM
If you can, chip in with some other people for a BOB jogging stroller. They are expensive, but was a life saver when my little one was still in an infant carrier. All jogging strollers are not created equal! This one is awesome and goes over all sorts of terrain.

Let's see, other things...a spare diaper bag kit (foldable travel kit to hold diapers, wipes, etc.). You always need at least one extra to travel. Another good thing are the little hanging colorful bugs that velcro to the infant carriers. Endless entertainment for the under 6 month audiences.

Dance_To_Oblivion
Jan. 8, 2009, 10:11 PM
I have no human kids yet but maybe a portable play pen to contain the kid safely while she's at the barn?

AKB
Jan. 8, 2009, 10:12 PM
A front pack baby carrier, a portable and lightweight playpen with a screened top to keep the flies off the baby, a coupon for a babysitter, a coupon for a teenaged babysitter who will come to the barn with the new mom and care for the baby while the mom rides, antidepressants for the mom because she is not getting to ride or see her horse as much as she needs to see the horse...

Now, to be more serious, it is hard to know what she needs without a little more info. If you are in frigid New England and the barn does not have a heated tack room, the front pack, playpen, and teenager aren't going to be a lot of help. You are good to think of the mom's riding needs. It is really hard to find a way to do anything other than constantly feed, change, and hold the (crying) baby for the first few weeks. It is exciting to have a newborn, but also overwhelming and exhausting. Offering to go along with her to the barn, and then holding the baby so she can visit her horse, is a good present. Prepared meals in disposable containers or gift certificates for the local carryout/delivery place are also good.

Creaghgal
Jan. 8, 2009, 10:15 PM
DUH! She obviously needs an au pair!! :yes:

Cindyg
Jan. 8, 2009, 10:38 PM
When my baby was born (11 years ago), my horse was in my backyard, and I was ULTRA motivated to get out to him. But the only time I could was when Dad was home to take the baby.

The baby days (weeks, months, years) are just not good times for mom to be with the horse, IMO. Sad, but it has its own compensation.

Reiter
Jan. 9, 2009, 11:12 AM
A travel swing! I had one of those when mine where small and would park it ouside the arena and they would sleep while I was riding. Very rarely did that not work. Of course I tried to time my riding with his napping! I also had one of those exercise saucers or whatever they are called in the tack room to keep him busy while feeding!

Trixie's mom
Jan. 9, 2009, 04:40 PM
a Pack and Play with wheels and a net for flies and bugs.

when my babies were newbies i took someone to the barn with me that way i could just tack up and ride between feedings!

honestly, if she isn't breastfeeding or she can pump the best thing would be for her to go to the barn alone and get some respite. she'll be a better mother for it.

pintopiaffe
Jan. 9, 2009, 10:08 PM
You're a good friend to be thinking this way, and I have no real suggestions, just a gentle warning...

Her brain may well come out of her uterus along with the new small human.

Somewhere in the next 3-5 years she may find it again. Or not.

:sigh:

I'm not trying to be mean, but I completely, utterly lost my horsey best friend when she had her first child. I sort of understand the demand and absoulte infatuation and love for the new life she bore...

But she couldn't even hold a coherent conversation, not to mention a horsey one. I missed her desperately for the first year, then, sadly, moved on...

I don't think she's been on a horse since her first, five or six years ago now.

Catersun
Jan. 10, 2009, 06:38 AM
I'm looking for a gift for a friend who's having her first baby. I'm looking for suggestions on things that helped you get to the barn even with a baby! Can you tell I don't know a whole lot about baby stuff?

Thanks!

a nanny.

Sadly, I"m serious about that. If you want your friend to have serious quality time with her horse, so some babysitting for her. She'll love you for it!

eponina
Jan. 10, 2009, 06:53 AM
A good babysitter!

Bayou Roux
Jan. 10, 2009, 09:00 AM
Babysitting coupons from a cooperative of friends & family she'll trust to leave the baby with. She needs time away...

...and we don't need baby & baby contraptions at the barn...:)

unbridledoaks
Jan. 10, 2009, 10:59 AM
My mother was a horsey mom with all 3 of us and now she is going to be a grandma in the next few days, if mine decides to come on time! LOL! Anyways, she said a swing, playpen and backpack were her best items at the barn with us.

SharonA
Jan. 10, 2009, 11:05 AM
You are a good friend! And, yes, it's true that your friend's brain may come out along with the baby (I laughed my butt off at this -- or was I crying?), but try to believe that this loss of brain may be as upsetting to your friend as it is to you. A new baby can really throw the mom and her friends for a loop -- even the mom may not know why she can't manage having a baby and being the same person she used to be. It's not rational, it's not predictable, but it's the truth. And, we're not always even infatuated with the new life -- it's just that Mother Nature comes along and blasts us with hormones we didn't know we had, and we become unable to think beyond baby. It's scary for the mom, too, not just to her friends who are watching the horrible transformation. :-)

I second that other barn members might not want the baby around -- if it's crying, it will upset everyone (including the poor exhausted mom who was desperately looking forward to some horse therapy), plus all that crap for the mom to carry around is not going to be doing her any favors. If it's a barn with other boarders and other boarders see the baby, they're going to either run in the other direction, making the mom feel bad, or they're going to feel awkwardly responsible for it (unless they're parents themselves) and they'll start avoiding the baby too.

I think the best thing is either for you to find her a babysitter, or be her babysitter, and be the type of babysitter who says, "Just hand me the baby and the diaper bag, and we'll see you in an hour and a half. You have my cell phone number if you need me." Then take the baby out of earshot and sight and stay there.

If there are other moms at the barn, you might ask them exactly what you've asked this board. Maybe the mom will say, "Oh, you know, managing a horse and baby is so hard; why don't you tell her to call me when she wants to ride and I'll see if I can't come hold the baby while she grooms, rides, etc."

Or, depending on the horse and your relationship, etc., you could give your friend "coupons" for you to exercise/love on her horse for those times when she can't get to the barn and is feeling like a failure for not being able to see her horse.

Ahhh, children.... :-) Good thing they do have some redeeming qualities.

4Martini
Jan. 10, 2009, 01:16 PM
Thanks Everyone! I don't actually live in the same geographic area as this friend so I can't help with the baby directly or finding a good babysitter - but those are great suggestions! Also, this friend has a retired horse that she wants to be able to visit, groom and love on (the horse is boarded)- not ride if that makes any difference in what you're telling me...

She's a worried about neglecting her old guy with her new baby - so I'm looking for things/ ideas to make her feel better :)

PS - Good Luck Unbridledoaks!

ETA - she lives in MA and is due late summer/ early fall (so shhh! nobody's supposed to know yet!)

Chall
Jan. 10, 2009, 03:22 PM
This ? http://www.diylife.com/2007/10/08/dont-it-yourself-duct-tape-your-baby/
:winkgrin:

Bayou Roux
Jan. 10, 2009, 03:29 PM
This ? http://www.diylife.com/2007/10/08/dont-it-yourself-duct-tape-your-baby/
:winkgrin:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

sanctuary
Jan. 10, 2009, 08:34 PM
These are some great suggestions guys! I'm an instructor at a beginner barn, so fortunately, my "work" will also be my horsey time, so that's a little easier.

What I'm telling my clients who are asking what to buy me for the baby, I tell them (granted I already have a child, so have most things) but I asked them to all chip in and get me a gift certificate for a house cleaning service. That way I won't feel guilty for not being able to be home to clean the house and can therefore enjoy the barn more. :)

tikidoc
Jan. 10, 2009, 09:34 PM
http://www.attachedtobaby.com/Default.aspx

I "wore" my baby a lot until she was about 2 1/2. For doing things at the barn with baby in tow, I used a mei tai (no, that's not mai tai) or on my back in a wrap. As well as being convenient, babywearing is great for bonding with baby, and makes for happy, secure kids. Attached To Baby has a great selection of carriers and awesome customer service. Anything on Angela's site is going to be more comfortable for mom and baby than a Baby Bjorn or other similar mass produced carrier.

See also: http://www.thebabywearer.com/

mayhew
Jan. 10, 2009, 10:40 PM
When my baby was born (11 years ago), my horse was in my backyard, and I was ULTRA motivated to get out to him. But the only time I could was when Dad was home to take the baby.

The baby days (weeks, months, years) are just not good times for mom to be with the horse, IMO. Sad, but it has its own compensation.

Can't you just leave the baby in the house while you visit your horse? If it is in the backyard, you'll be able to see if the house catches on fire or something. That's what I would do. That's probably also why I don't have any babies.

HomesteadSportHorses
Jan. 10, 2009, 10:48 PM
I could not live wihtout this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pricey yes around $150 for the nice one BUT has sun visor, bug cover, can still much stalls hay all that stuff and baby is out of the way unlike one of the front carriers Baby Bjorn waste o f$$(which they had also both out grew in a heartbeat) but they where both 10 lbs when born!! Lucky me at only 5 ft.!!!! but the Kelty carrier also EASILY adjust for even my husband whom is 6ft 4 in!!!! It's got a pouch for sell phone, bottle can even have a storage compartment on it that comes off for all the other goodies you gotta carrie with baby intow. lol

Coobie
Jan. 11, 2009, 12:38 PM
When my son was newborn I had those baby monitors, so he could be in the house sleeping and I could go down to the barn and be able to hear him. So staying in the house til Daddy got home is just down right silly.
I had the Baby Bjorn, it was okay but I felt like he was going to fall out when I leaned over using the pitch fork. But I would defenitely suggest some sort of wearable carrier. Especially knowing she isn't riding, she could hang out with her oldie all day with a carrier.
A small portable swing would be great too, as long as her horse isn't spooky same goes for the saucer thing. Saying that, my horses where afraid of both at first but got over it pretty quick.

Cindyg
Jan. 11, 2009, 09:51 PM
Can't you just leave the baby in the house while you visit your horse? If it is in the backyard, you'll be able to see if the house catches on fire or something. That's what I would do. That's probably also why I don't have any babies.

Well, I can NOW because my baby is 11. But when he was younger, he just couldn't be left. Not all babies are the same. Not all babies sleep. Not all babies can be without momma.

I did do the sling thing, and it was a real life saver -- but not for the barn. (It killed my back just to stand upright, nevermind doing barn work, and nevermind the Texas heat! Unthinkable.)

Having a baby was hard on my relationship with this horse, no two ways about it.

twofatponies
Jan. 11, 2009, 10:05 PM
I completely, utterly lost my horsey best friend when she had her first child. I sort of understand the demand and absoulte infatuation and love for the new life she bore...

But she couldn't even hold a coherent conversation, not to mention a horsey one. I missed her desperately for the first year, then, sadly, moved on...


LOL! I've lost every one of mine, too, even the non-horsey ones. No gadget or stroller seems to help, really. So sad. Maybe they will resurface in a few more years... I continue to hope.