First time hunting was a humiliating experience.

[tallboots]

I have been riding horses for about 10 years now. Started in college, found it to be enjoyable, and have stuck with it.

Recently I became interested in fox hunting and to my delight found this was the time of year for it. I contacted a "local" hunt, spoke with them at length and decided to give it a try.

Firstly I ordered/bought locally all the required apparel and gear for a hunt. As you can well imagine this is a substantial amount of money. On the morning of the hunt I got up very early, drove to the storage unit to pick up my trailer, drove to the farm where I board my horse and picked him up, then we traveled 357 miles to the hunt.

When I arrived there I was initially greeted warmly and found the comradeship good. I was asked to fill out some paperwork and a waiver and I paid the $150 fee. Then I went back to my trailer and was unloading my horse and getting him ready for the ride. The secretary then came over and asked about my address. I explained that I live in an apartment and board my horse at a farm in the country since I cant afford a farm on a paralegals salary. He asked me to wait there while he conferred with the huntmaster. They both came back and told me I had to leave. They explained that foxhunting was for gentleman and a gentleman must own his own land. A minimum of 100 acres. Then they proceeded to tell the other members of the hunt about this and much fun was had at my expense. They wouldn't refund my money either. They said I had wasted their time, my appearance cheapened their hunt, and they were going to keep my money for their trouble.

Well what about my wasted time and trouble? The requirements for participation in the hunt as they were laid out to me never included anything about land ownership. Some of us have to live in the city for our career.

All in all it was a very humiliating experience. I had never been called so many names and been taunted so severely in all my life. They even teased me about my horse. Granted he's not a half million dollar wonder, but I work hard to be able to afford him, keep him in good health, and all the rest.

I just wanted to share this experience so I can spare someone else the pain of learning this the hard way. Hunting is apparently a sport for the elite. The working class need not apply.

[TrakJumper]

I'm sorry, but I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. I live in an apartment and have been welcomed with open arms into what many would consider an exclusive hunt. I got my melton on sale and wore field boots my first time out. They are hands down the friendliest people I have ever met, in the horse world or otherwise. Could you please explain to me how you "woke up on the morning of the hunt" and not only found the time to get your horse trailer from a storage unit, but also amazingly hauled your horse approx 5 hours to the "local" meet? Please. Go post your MUD somewhere else. And make it more believable next time.

[ThatScaryChick]

Yeah, I don't buy this story. I haven't been on a hunt myself, but I am hoping to go on one, one of these days and I have never heard people being turned away because they don't own their own land or live in an apartment. If that were true, a lot of people wouldn't get to participate.

[tallboots]

The hunt started at 11am. I left the apartment at 2:45am.

[linquest]

:confused:

Should I be insulted that after riding with four hunts in two states, I've never been asked for my address (apartment in the city), income (<$20K/yr), property ownership (none, unless you count $160K in student loan debt), or occupation (paralegal too) as a prerequisite? And I've never even had fully proper attire cuz I couldn't afford it either, and had to "rent" a horse each time. Have I just been lucky enough to hit "Slumming Day" every hunt?

[takethestage]

I've never heard of anything so absurd.
If you spent tons of money buying proper equipment for a sport you'd never tried before, that is your irresponsibility. And why you would choose to become involved with a sport that you claim is no closer than 5 hours away from you? Sounds very far-fetched.

[CarrieK]

I tell ya what, tallboots: I'm so white-trash that I'll show up at your local hunt and you'll be accepted by default! I make everyone look good!!

[ceffyl]

If this actually happend the correct route to follow on with is to complain to the MFHA http://www.mfha.com/ (providing the hunt is recognised).

Seems an awful long way to drive for a first hunt? I would personally not expect a horse to follow hounds the same day after a journey of that length of time standing in a trailer.

[Lilykoi]

I don't know, I've done a lot of shipping and I just can't see how you had enough time to get there. Pulling a trailer, it always takes me over seven hours to make it to Lexington, on a good day. And isn't that a bit high for a capping fee? Its been a while, but it was much less when I did it.

[War Admiral]

I'm with everyone else. I haven't hunted in decades, but the few times I was brave enough to take the psychotic freebie OTTB with visible leg jewelry out with one of the supposedly "snottiest" hunts in America, I was treated with every courtesy, despite being so poor I only owned two pair of jeans, and pulling up in a home-made trailer.

Besides, I know lots of very moneyed people who likewise have to live in the city for their jobs and simply board their horses at their respective hunt clubs.

I'm really having a hard time believing ANY hunt would treat a newcomer this way, unless something else was not right.

This WAS a recognized hunt?? In the USA??

[LookinSouth]

. And isn't that a bit high for a capping fee? Its been a while, but it was much less when I did it.


there are hunts in my area that charge 150.00 for a capping on Holidays (thankfully not mine:))

[Trakehner]

I call TROLL on this one...sounds like something out of England spouted by the hunt sabs.

I've known a hunt where full membership required the person to bring some sort of land or skills to the hunt...but never have I been treated poorly, even as a weenie kid when my pony passed the master and kicked a hound.

[Lilykoi]

there are hunts in my area that charge 150.00 for a capping on Holidays (thankfully not mine:))

Now that I think about it we did always hunt during the week.

[LisaB]

I agree with Trak.
First, having a trailer at a storage facility.
Then traveling 357 miles when the person supposedly lives in the midwest. There are hunts all over the country.
Then only allowing men who have over 100 acres to join.
And cap fee of 150 unless it was a very special day.
TROLL!

[HookedOnReefing]

Well, I travel over 200 mi to go hunt... 1 way... because sadly there aren't hunts all over this country.

I do know that most hunts welcome ANYONE with wide open arms as most hunts are experiencing declining memberships. Most hunts don't care what you do for a living, what kind of truck trailer combo you show up with or what brand of tack you use as long as you, your horse and tack are clean and presentable.

Some hunts have hunt fields so large that they restrict memberships to people with land, not to cap in. I think there is one like that in the DC/VA area??? But I think they would have informed you about that when you contacted the hunt secretary.

I think most people will take issue with your last sentence. At least I do. Most of us hardly belong to the elite and work hard every day in order to go hunt.

I'd like to know which hunt did you have this awfull experience with?

[JSwan]

That is the MOST absurd and ridiculous thing I have ever read in this forum. There are so many holes in this story I don't even know where to begin.

Except to say that not only is this person a troll, I'll even go so far to say that this post is calculated and timed.

TROLL

[ceffyl]

[QUOTE=Trakehner;3784530]I call TROLL on this one...sounds like something out of England spouted by the hunt sabs. QUOTE]


I doubt if the UK hunt sabs could even find the COTH forum to post on, they can barely write, let alone speak legibly. :lol:

[wateryglen]

Nobody requires land ownership to CAP! Nobody.

This is someone with a beef with that hunt or hunting or is an "anti". Way too obvious. Story quite unbelievable. New poster I see.
Better luck next time! Ain't workin"!!!! :yes:

Trying to stir things up.....altho' many of us do have humiliating stories to tell about our first times but they are usually FUNNY!!! :winkgrin:

[EventFan]

cough* Troll.....*cough:eek:

[SharonA]

Well, speaking for myself, I don't have the time and energy to get involved in a sport if the closest venue is 350 miles away. If gas were still $4 a gallon, I'd also be put off by the cost of the gas to get there.

I'm not a member of the local hunt(s), but the one with which I have any experience at all is formal in terms of attire for you and the horse. But I understand that a good number of people find their attire at consignment shops, etc -- and are proud of their bargains. The hunt is also very friendly and outgoing. And, in the suburban Northeast, relatively few people own much acreage, so the 100 acres thing would be laughed out.

Not that I believe the OP, frankly, but even so, c'mon, buddy. Use some horse sense. If something takes a vast investment of money and time even just to check out for the first time, maybe it's not worth it, however fun it might be if you lived closer. Maybe it's not smart to get no sleep, then drive a horse trailer 350 miles one way, then try a physically demanding new sport, then drive home 350 miles (still with no sleep), and then take care of your horse who stood in a trailer for seven hours, then rode to hounds, then stood in a trailer for seven hours. Maybe just hilltop the next time. I thought many hunts required you to hilltop first.

If this really did happen, I am genuinely sorry for such a dreadful experience and encourage the OP to report this hunt to an appropriate overseeing organization, and to try hilltopping with another hunt.

[FairWeather]

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!

Thats an awesome story!

357 miles? AWESOME! When did you start driving, from the "storage unit", where your "trailer" was kept? You know, instead of "the barn"?

[SandyUHC]

Possibletrollwithtallboots, if you are tired of living in an apartment and really would like to own property, you should seek out a financial counselor. It appears on top of the problem you have with spending, you might also have a problem regarding impulse control and judgment. Even IF your story regarding your treatment at the hunt were true, the rest of your story shows a ridiculous disregard for money.

I have capped quite a few times in the midwest, on a borrowed horse in borrowed boots and a second-hand store jacket. Even though I passed the master (I was set up, honest) the third time I fell off and got back on I was invited to join. By people who had no idea where I lived. Since you have spent all that money and you have no qualms about driving ridiculous distances, plan an overnight trip and come hunt in Iowa -- it would more than make up for your preconceptions about the sport.

[Fergs]

I call TROLL on this one...sounds like something out of England spouted by the hunt sabs.



I think you're absolutely right! I've had the pleasure of capping with some of the oldest, most prestigious hunts in the country and have NEVER been treated this way. Yes, it can easily cost $150 to cap, especially with a top-notch hunt on a holiday, but I've never been asked my income, residential situation, or anything along those lines. If hunts treated people this way, they wouldn't have any members!

I simply don't buy this story at all!!

[Eventer55]

Choo choo Charlie was his name we hear. . . Or Trollin' Trollin' trollin' keep those stories rollin' Too early for white wine:(

[snoopy]

No way no how...NEVER have I heard of something like this. I simply cannot nor do I believe this to be true.

[JulesGirl]

:D If you're going to troll, at least make it believable.

[Badger]

I don't read anywhere in the troll's post that this fantasy happened in the midwest. Applying a bit of logic, most points in the midwest have hunts a lot closer together than 357 miles, and capping fees much more modest than $150.00.

Plus, you aren't going to be able to buy the necessary kit locally at ANY place that is 357-miles from a hunt. :lol:

[ArtilleryHill]

Well, that is the craziest thing I have ever heard, too. I don't know of any hunt in the US that requires 100 acres of land ownership for membership, let alone capping. If the OP did indeed call ahead to find out information, that should have been the hunt secretary he/she talked to, and the secretary would surely have let the OP know any requirements for capping--certainly one as huge as, oh, by the way, we are the only hunt in the universe that will require that you bring proof that you own a minimum of 100 acres of land before we'll let you cap. I mean, that's just a crazy, crazy story.

And, if false, why on earth would you post it here where hunting people can tell readily that it makes no sense? If not false, get thee to another hunt and, if the hunt is recognized (which you can find out on the MFHA website already cited in this thread), call or e-mail the MFHA and let them know how you were treated.

How very, very bizarre. I've never heard anything like this in my life.

[Equibrit]

"On the morning of the hunt I got up very early, drove to the storage unit to pick up my trailer, drove to the farm where I board my horse and picked him up, then we traveled 357 miles to the hunt."


Yeah right - and I'm Queen Elizabeth II.

Why do trolls do it?

I believe that most trolls are sad people, living their lonely lives vicariously through those they see as strong and successful.
Disrupting a stable newsgroup gives the illusion of power, just as for a few, stalking a strong person allows them to think they are strong, too.
For trolls, any response is 'recognition'; they are unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response.
Trolls, rather surprisingly, dispute this, claiming that it's a game or joke; this merely confirms the diagnosis; how sad do you have to be to find such mind-numbingly trivial timewasting to be funny?
Remember that trolls are cowards; they'll usually post just enough to get an argument going, then sit back and count the responses (Yes, that's what they do!).
http://www.flayme.com/troll


for tallboots
http://www.flayme.com/troll/trollone.html (http://www.flayme.com/troll/trollone.html)

[WorthTheWait95]

Well, that is the craziest thing I have ever heard, too. I don't know of any hunt in the US that requires 100 acres of land ownership for membership, let alone capping.
How very, very bizarre. I've never heard anything like this in my life.


How many people in the midwest or the U.S. for that matter even own 100 acres of land? I'm guessing not many and I bet an even smaller percentage own horses with the desire to hunt yet there are tons of hunts out there.

[Lori B]

And gee, where has your troll gone.... BUSTED!

[Beverley]

Gee, it's too early in the day for popcorn and chardonnay.

Tallboots. Really. I ROUTINELY travel 350+ miles to go hunting. In the first place- that takes me 6 hours out here in the wide open west, where I can and do go 70 to 75 mph on the interestate. That isn't something anyone who has been riding for more than 10 minutes would do on the day of the hunt, one does that kind of distance the day before. In the second place- no hunt would require you to go acquire all the 'correct' gear to give the sport a try. Nobody. In the third place- I've been hunting since 1971, including while a starving college student, and starving college graduate living in an apartment, and have NEVER owned land in ANYBODY's hunt country. That hasn't stopped me from hunting with dozens of different hunts in a dozen or more states, including the 'hoity toity' hunts back east.

Can't even say 'nice try' on this one. Tell ya what. If you dare, PM me the name of your fictitious hunt and I'll give that Master a buzz to check out your story.:cool:

[tangledweb]

I think this was too challenging a topic for a first time troll to do a good job of.

While you are still building up your skills, stick to short one line questions on hot button topics. The more detail you add, the more obvious it it. Start with a short post and gradually add more and more detail in followups. A bit like a term in political office, the idea is to fool everybody at the start, and gradually let the more observant participants in on the joke so that they can mock the people still taking it seriously.

Here are a few suggestions.

I think (foxhunting, steeplechasing, horseriding, jumping, rollkur, dressage, horses wearing shoes, saddles with trees, chemical wormers) is cruel and should be banned.

My friend wants to tow with a (model of medium sized SUV) I told them it is not safe. Who is right?

I think that all (dressage, hunter, jumper) riders are better than all (dressage, hunter, jumper) riders because blah blah.

[JulesGirl]

Or bring up a rider's weight. That's almost *too* easy.

[pAin't_Misbehavin']

The hunt started at 11am. I left the apartment at 2:45am.

Just curious. I agree the OP is fiction.

I thought hunts started out so early in the morning because scent doesn't hold for very long. Is that right or no?

[linquest]

Choo choo Charlie was his name we hear. . . Or Trollin' Trollin' trollin' keep those stories rollin' Too early for white wine:(

Gee, it's too early in the day for popcorn and chardonnay.

Geez, guys, it's always 5PM SOMEWHERE! Don't tell me you haven't taken a nip out hunting at 10AM. You're ruining our reputation as (elitist) Drinkers with a Horse Problem :P

[Beverley]

Just curious. I agree the OP is fiction.

I thought hunts started out so early in the morning because scent doesn't hold for very long. Is that right or no?

Depends on time of year, weather, temperature. For cubhunting during warmer months, yes, you need to get out there at 6 or 7 before scent totally evaporates. In winter, an 11 am to 1 pm meeting time is common.

[Baroquecoco]

wow! I do not know what trolling is. however, me thinks tallboots tells tall tales.

[Mozart]

Sounds like the plot of a really bad made for TV movie. Let me guess how it ends....you marry the ravishingly beautiful but headstrong daughter of the MFH, he dies tragically in a hunting accident and then you end up inheriting his mansion and 1000 acre farm in the middle of hunt country. :cool:

[x-rab]

I have capped with some of the most exclusive hunts around and have never been treated with anything except kindness and courtesy. One of the hunts does require a minimum amount of acreage to join or a substantial initiation fee, but there are other wonderful hunts around that you can join that are just as good if not better than the really expensive one.

I live in a townhouse and board 45 miles away from it and then get to travel another 30 minutes + to hunt. I get up around 4:45 am during cubbing season, but that is because I am making coffee and other goodies to take in my truck while hubby rides my horse. The folks in the Hunt we belong to are always unfailingly gracious, kind and helpful.

[Anselcat]

Sounds like the plot of a really bad made for TV movie. Let me guess how it ends....you marry the ravishingly beautiful but headstrong daughter of the MFH, he dies tragically in a hunting accident and then you end up inheriting his mansion and 1000 acre farm in the middle of hunt country. :cool:

And your horse wins the Big Competition and gets enough prize money to save the hunt club!

And all the elite snobs learn a valuable life lesson.

And maybe the horse is blind.

[hessy35]

I have been riding horses for about 10 years now. Started in college, found it to be enjoyable, and have stuck with it.

Recently I became interested in fox hunting and to my delight found this was the time of year for it. I contacted a "local" hunt, spoke with them at length and decided to give it a try.

Firstly I ordered/bought locally all the required apparel and gear for a hunt. As you can well imagine this is a substantial amount of money. On the morning of the hunt I got up very early, drove to the storage unit to pick up my trailer, drove to the farm where I board my horse and picked him up, then we traveled 357 miles to the hunt.

When I arrived there I was initially greeted warmly and found the comradeship good. I was asked to fill out some paperwork and a waiver and I paid the $150 fee. Then I went back to my trailer and was unloading my horse and getting him ready for the ride. The secretary then came over and asked about my address. I explained that I live in an apartment and board my horse at a farm in the country since I cant afford a farm on a paralegals salary. He asked me to wait there while he conferred with the huntmaster. They both came back and told me I had to leave. They explained that foxhunting was for gentleman and a gentleman must own his own land. A minimum of 100 acres. Then they proceeded to tell the other members of the hunt about this and much fun was had at my expense. They wouldn't refund my money either. They said I had wasted their time, my appearance cheapened their hunt, and they were going to keep my money for their trouble.

Well what about my wasted time and trouble? The requirements for participation in the hunt as they were laid out to me never included anything about land ownership. Some of us have to live in the city for our career.

All in all it was a very humiliating experience. I had never been called so many names and been taunted so severely in all my life. They even teased me about my horse. Granted he's not a half million dollar wonder, but I work hard to be able to afford him, keep him in good health, and all the rest.

I just wanted to share this experience so I can spare someone else the pain of learning this the hard way. Hunting is apparently a sport for the elite. The working class need not apply.


This is almost unbelievable to me!! These are adults running ths hunt, right? To not even refund you money? WOW! You are a paralegal, you might want to look into a legal way to get that money back!

[JSwan]

hessy35 - You can't possibly think that story has any basis in reality. I mean, come on. It's so bad I can smell it from here. :lol: I've even read language similar to that elsewhere. It's not only a lie, it's somewhat plagarized.

Trust me, this is not only a fabrication, I wouldn't be surprised if I read it elsewhere. This isn't a coincidence.

[Mozart]

And your horse wins the Big Competition and gets enough prize money to save the hunt club!

And all the elite snobs learn a valuable life lesson.

And maybe the horse is blind.

And he a mustang that you rescued from the kill pen.

I sense a best seller in the making.

Toby Maguire as the leading man? Keira Knightley as the headstrong daughter??

[Trakehner]

Sounds like the plot of a really bad made for TV movie. Let me guess how it ends....you marry the ravishingly beautiful but headstrong daughter of the MFH, he dies tragically in a hunting accident and then you end up inheriting his mansion and 1000 acre farm in the middle of hunt country. :cool:

Wow! A horsey "bodice ripper" and "pulsing tumescence"....don't forget the almost rape and the submittle of Derek or Hans or Lance to her charms....

[gieriscm]

Name the hunt or it didn't happen.

[foxhavenfarm]

Geez, guys, it's always 5PM SOMEWHERE! Don't tell me you haven't taken a nip out hunting at 10AM. You're ruining our reputation as (elitist) Drinkers with a Horse Problem :P

LOL! :lol:

wow! I do not know what trolling is. however, me thinks tallboots tells tall tales.
Yep! Definitely telling "TALL TALES" = TROLL!

[caffeinated]

Toby Maguire as the leading man? Keira Knightley as the headstrong daughter??

And Clint Eastwood as the crusty old horseman out to redeem himself.

A classic in the making.

[seeuatx]

Wow! A horsey "bodice ripper" and "pulsing tumescence"....don't forget the almost rape and the submittle of Derek or Hans or Lance to her charms....

Sounds more like Tess of the D'urbervilles meets Foxhunting to me ;)

[EventFan]

To throw around such terms as: moist, pulsating, raging storm, and add in some element of danger such as ravaging cayotees or wild cowboys with "black eyes and revenge written on their faces" ....

now that would be a best seller! Lifetime network might even pick up the option to show it as a made for TV movie. :yes:

[webmistress32]

this can't possibly be true. I have hunted many many times with hunts here in Chicagoland.

two of them are pretty exclusive and I have never been turned away after providing my capping fee, dressing appropriately (horse too) and following the protocols.

once I joined the hunt "in progress" while I was out on a trail ride!

in this day and age of dwindling memberships any Hunt would be nuts to act this way toward an enthusiastic participant especially one that took the time to know the attire, purchase said attire at some expense and follow the protocols.

[strawberry roan]

Pathetic. But as a made for TV movie---sounds good! :lol::lol:

[irishmusic]

My first hunt in the early seventies was at a well known MD hunt club, I was invited by a friend. Got dressed in my best black melton wool hunt coat, stock tie, hardshell derby, etc. Dressed impeccably! Groomed my horse for hours, cleaned my saddle and tack.

Arrived at the hunt to find the Master dressed in military camo and green rubber boots - well it was muddy! That put everything into perspective. Everyone was friendly and we had a great time. I later joined that hunt - very nice and down-to-earth people.

I too say - name the hunt!

[Eventer55]

Sounds like the plot of a really bad made for TV movie. Let me guess how it ends....you marry the ravishingly beautiful but headstrong daughter of the MFH, he dies tragically in a hunting accident and then you end up inheriting his mansion and 1000 acre farm in the middle of hunt country. :cool:

I'm sorry, but first you said "you marry the headstrong daughter of the MFH, he dies. . . Did someone have a sex change too?????? I thought the OP was a she.

Crap,I can't keep track and I haven't had any
Char-do-neigh yet. Can someone post a score card with the size of the tumesence and any other pertinent info?

[MyGiantPony]

It's true, it's all true I tell you.

I am the spoken of hunt secretary.

I'm also the Master.

I was conferring with myself trying to decide if we should let this person hunt with us.

This yahoo showed up in completely inappropriate attire. Black melton, buff breeches, brown gloves.

Piff. OUR attire requires these breeches:
http://www.equestrianways.com/shop/images/uploads/Anastasiatrend300.jpg

This coat:
http://www.urbanchiconline.com/images/W/JGMU1116JC-High_Seas-2.jpg

These boots:
http://images.channeladvisor.com/Sell/SSProfiles/43000135/Images/33/DH939PINK.jpg

These gloves:
http://www.crowstonstack.co.uk/active_images/Catalogue/heritage-pink-cheetah-glove.jpg

And all horses MUST be half-million dollar wonders.

Any of you here who are willing to comply with our attire requirements are most welcome to cap with us. And our cap fee is now $300. Word's out. We are now super popular thanks to this thread, and can make a killing with fees.

[TrakJumper]

It's true, it's all true I tell you.

I am the spoken of hunt secretary.

I'm also the Master.

I was conferring with myself trying to decide if we should let this person hunt with us.

This yahoo showed up in completely inappropriate attire. Black melton, buff breeches, brown gloves.

Piff. OUR attire requires these breeches:
http://www.equestrianways.com/shop/images/uploads/Anastasiatrend300.jpg

This coat:
http://www.urbanchiconline.com/images/W/JGMU1116JC-High_Seas-2.jpg

These boots:
http://images.channeladvisor.com/Sell/SSProfiles/43000135/Images/33/DH939PINK.jpg

These gloves:
http://www.crowstonstack.co.uk/active_images/Catalogue/heritage-pink-cheetah-glove.jpg

And all horses MUST be half-million dollar wonders.

Any of you here who are willing to comply with our attire requirements are most welcome to cap with us. And our cap fee is now $300. Word's out. We are now super popular thanks to this thread, and can make a killing with fees.


Bwahahahahaha!!!! :lol::lol::lol::lol:

[merrygoround]

Are you sure it was 357 miles? Not 355 or 360?

[Tantivy1]

[QUOTE=MyGiantPony;3785953]It's true, it's all true I tell you. I am the spoken of hunt secretary. I'm also the Master. I was conferring with myself trying to decide if we should let this person hunt with us.[/URL]

This was priceless...thanks TallBoots for the entertainment! :)

[Tamsin]

This is the most fun I've ever seen people have with a troll-generated thread. Thanks for the laughs! :lol::lol::lol:

[MyGiantPony]

Here is a beautiful picture of staff on a screaming run (note - staff don't wear boots - we don't pay them enough to afford them) :

http://planetnomad.files.wordpress.com/2006/11/liz02.JPG

[linquest]

Here is a beautiful picture of staff on a screaming run (note - staff don't wear boots - we don't pay them enough to afford them) :

http://planetnomad.files.wordpress.com/2006/11/liz02.JPG

Apparently, you can't afford hounds either. :lol:

[hessy35]

hessy35 - You can't possibly think that story has any basis in reality. I mean, come on. It's so bad I can smell it from here. :lol: I've even read language similar to that elsewhere. It's not only a lie, it's somewhat plagarized.

Trust me, this is not only a fabrication, I wouldn't be surprised if I read it elsewhere. This isn't a coincidence.

Haha - it was me being sarcastic... (sarcasm).

[MyGiantPony]

Apparently, you can't afford hounds either. :lol:

These are far more effective for our territory:
http://www.geocities.com/shadowsoftherainforest/GiantAnteater.gif

[DairyQueen2049]

It's true, it's all true I tell you.

I am the spoken of hunt secretary.

I'm also the Master.

I was conferring with myself trying to decide if we should let this person hunt with us.

This yahoo showed up in completely inappropriate attire. Black melton, buff breeches, brown gloves.

Piff. OUR attire requires these breeches:
http://www.equestrianways.com/shop/images/uploads/Anastasiatrend300.jpg

This coat:
http://www.urbanchiconline.com/images/W/JGMU1116JC-High_Seas-2.jpg

These boots:
http://images.channeladvisor.com/Sell/SSProfiles/43000135/Images/33/DH939PINK.jpg

These gloves:
http://www.crowstonstack.co.uk/active_images/Catalogue/heritage-pink-cheetah-glove.jpg

And all horses MUST be half-million dollar wonders.

Any of you here who are willing to comply with our attire requirements are most welcome to cap with us. And our cap fee is now $300. Word's out. We are now super popular thanks to this thread, and can make a killing with fees.



Why were you in my closet??
Gimmie those back!!

http://www.yougotrickrolled.com/

[MyGiantPony]

[quote=DairyQueen2049;3786090]Why were you in my closet??
Gimmie those back!![/quote (http://www.yougotrickrolled.com/[/quote)]

Are you that woman we had to banish from the hunt because you were riding this:

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/84000/84465GLnk_w.jpg

You must be - otherwise, why would you have all that correct attire in your closet?

[EventFan]

Count me in (if that's the attire). But I'm too lazy to ride my own horse, can I have a group of half dressed macho men carry me on my satin bed mattress?;)

[MyGiantPony]

Count me in (if that's the attire). But I'm too lazy to ride my own horse, can I have a group of half dressed macho men carry me on my satin bed mattress?;)

OK, but if you aren't riding, you have to wear this:

http://kingdomofstyle.typepad.co.uk/my_weblog/images/2007/06/16/roman2.jpg

[LookinSouth]

This is the most fun I've ever seen people have with a troll-generated thread. Thanks for the laughs! />

Welcome to the hunting forum :)!

[EventFan]

OK, but if you aren't riding, you have to wear this:

http://kingdomofstyle.typepad.co.uk/my_weblog/images/2007/06/16/roman2.jpg



Consider it done! My boys and I will be there!:winkgrin:

[selah]

To throw around such terms as: moist, pulsating, raging storm, and add in some element of danger such as ravaging cayotees or wild cowboys with "black eyes and revenge written on their faces" ....

now that would be a best seller! Lifetime network might even pick up the option to show it as a made for TV movie. :yes:

....and "throbbing manhood" [clapping hands in glee, and salivating]!!!:eek:

[Pony Person]

OK, but if you aren't riding, you have to wear this:

http://kingdomofstyle.typepad.co.uk/my_weblog/images/2007/06/16/roman2.jpg
Hey where did you get my picture from??:winkgrin::lol:

[Mozart]

I'm sorry, but first you said "you marry the headstrong daughter of the MFH, he dies. . . Did someone have a sex change too?????? I thought the OP was a she.

Crap,I can't keep track and I haven't had any
Char-do-neigh yet. Can someone post a score card with the size of the tumesence and any other pertinent info?

For some reason I thought the OP was a he. But if OP is a she...we can change that easily enough. Instead of "ravishingly beautiful headstrong daughter" ..make it..."rakishly handsome son, a former womanizer who is now ready to be domesticated by the plucky paralegal"

But the father still needs to die an a hunting accident. And the OP needs to somehow save the son. Maybe the son's reins break and the OP gallops after his horse, leans over at a dead run and grabs the reins, bringing to horse to a stop. Before a ravine. I dunno, maybe too dramatic?

[Lilykoi]

I guess in the spirt of good sportsmanship, we can only hope Tallboots is having half as much fun with this as the rest of us!

[Glimmerglass]

For some reason I thought the OP was a he. But if OP is a she...we can change that easily enough. Instead of "ravishingly beautiful headstrong daughter" ..make it..."rakishly handsome son, a former womanizer who is now ready to be domesticated by the plucky paralegal"

But the father still needs to die an a hunting accident. And the OP needs to somehow save the son. Maybe the son's reins break and the OP gallops after his horse, leans over at a dead run and grabs the reins, bringing to horse to a stop. Before a ravine. I dunno, maybe too dramatic?

Oh now don't get all Marnie on us! :D This movie can't be cliche - this story is real and Oprah would buy it! I can just see her revisiting her own incident of being rebuffed by Hermes in Paris as they commiserate. A kleenex moment to be sure.

Then again the Lifetime movie (mind you with a cloned version of that on Oxygen, the other women's network) we'd see unfold the sad tale of a beautiful woman rebuffed by the cold ways of the rich.

A woman of simple but honest means who financed her way through college as a stripper to put food on her elderly family's table. Sling shot later in life, after the uglyness of the hunt having driven her to be the best businesswoman possible. In a twist of life she is now to be wealthy by marrying the MFH's son and taking over the family seat.

In that final scene in the movie we'll see our Erin Brockovich meets Posh Spice returning to the tack store where she had been admonished her for being poor when she tried to buy the Vogel boots. The same shop owned by that rude MFH and several members of the hunt work. There the viewers of this yarn will receive the 'money-shot' remark by her of "you work on commission, don't you?" and with that she'll show the many packages purchased at the other tackshop ....

Then again you could just go other direction and make this fox-hunting version of Caddyshack :)

[EventFan]

Too bad the OP hasn't joined our fun. I've sure had a nice break on a dreary day!

[JMurray]

This OP's story stinks so bad I could smell it all the way over in the Dressage Forum and had to come over and find out what the stink was all about.


Absolutely hilarous thread.

[JSwan]

JMurray -

That's the smell of mendacity. :lol:



I admit I am puzzled. Because I can't figure out where I fit into the "gentlemanly"sport of foxhunting.

If a person wipes their nose on the sleeve of their Melton, does that make them a rich snob or working class?

Can rednecks foxhunt or are we restricted to NASCAR?

If going out to dinner means you kill and eat whatever is running around your back yard, are you still allowed to hang out at tailgates?

If you once had to go home early because the curb chain got hooked on your cheap britches, they ripped, and your Wal-Mart underwear hung out, do they charge extra on your membership? Is there a stupid tax?

What if your draft cross cost less than a latte? Do you have to show people the bill of sale or do you make one up and call your horse a Warmblood?

I'm confused and it's making my bosoms heave. :lol:

[andy825]

JMurray -

If you once had to go home early because the curb chain got hooked on your cheap britches, they ripped, and your Wal-Mart underwear hung out, do they charge extra on your membership? Is there a stupid tax?
:lol:


I lol'd. Thanks, that was funny. Ya'll are nuts. I want to foxhunt. :yes:

[Equibrit]

A tribute to "tallboots"
An obscure writer, whose works were enthusiastically devoured by C. S. Lewis, Aldous Huxley and Mark Twain, is the subject of a revival celebrating her status as the world's worst novelist.
The heaving bosoms, trembling lips, quivering voices and clammy hands that inhabit the world created by Amanda McKittrick Ros won her many admirers among the literary elite.
Her novels provided the entertainment at gatherings of the Inklings, a group of Oxford dons including Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien who met from the 1930s to 1950s. They competed to see who could read her work aloud for longest before starting to laugh.
The Ros canon has since slid into obscurity and titles such as Irene Iddesleigh, Delina Delany and Helen Huddleston are out of print. But such is the quality of her prose that Ros's unique contribution to literature is to be remembered at the forthcoming "Celebrate Literary Belfast" festival.
At the John Hewitt pub in Belfast, an Inklings-style Ros reading challenge will be re-created for the benefit of today's literati. To borrow one of her own phrases, the festival organisers are in little doubt that Ros's gift for "disturbing the bowels" is still as potent as ever.
"She alliterated obsessively," said Frank Ormsby, the editor of Thine in Storm and Cabin, an anthology of her work. "Even if one has forgotten her work for a few years, you only have to read a few paragraphs and you find the smile broadening on your face. You begin to realise why her work had such an appeal."
Festival-goers will be introduced to the joys of Irene Iddesleigh, her first novel — a melodrama of marriage doomed by unrequited love.
In it, Ros observes that "the trials of a tortured throng are naught when weighed in the balance of future anticipations".
She continues: "The living sometimes learn the touchy tricks of the traitor, the tardy and the tempted; the dead have evaded the flighty earthy future, and form to swell the retinue of retired rights, the righteous school of the invisible and the rebellious roar of the raging nothing."
Mark Twain elevated her to the same league as Julia A. Moore, the notoriously bad poetess known as the Sweet Singer of Michigan and the "Queen and Empress of the Hogwash Guild until now".
Siegfried Sassoon and Anthony Powell were fans, as was Huxley, who wrote an essay on her bizarre usage, which included "sanctified measures of time" (Sunday), "globes of glare" (eyes), "bony supports" (legs), "southern necessary" (pants) and "globules of liquid lava" (sweat).
Ormsby said that Ros, born in Co Down in 1860, was a terrible snob.
"She had the absolute seriousness of someone who is terminally deluded," he said.
A social climber, she changed her married name from Ross to Ros in a spurious attempt to link herself with the ancient family of de Ros, and she claimed that the McKittricks were descended from King Sitric of Denmark.
In fact, she was far from the "high-bred daughter of distinguished effeminacy" that she would have liked to have been. She was a school mistress, whose first husband, Andrew Ross, was the station master at Larne Harbour.
Perhaps not surprisingly, she had her critics – a species she disliked intensely. Her epithets for them included "clay-crabs of corruption" and "evil minded snapshots of spleen".
Despite this, the critic D. B. Wyndham-Lewis generously judged Irene Iddesleigh a better book than Some Reactions of Colloidal Protozoids and The Chartered Accountants' Year Book for 1926.
Confident of her talent, she said: "I expect that I will be talked about at the end of 1,000 years."

[Anselcat]

Then again you could just go other direction and make this fox-hunting version of Caddyshack :)

BWAH! Rodney Dangerfield on a giant tricked-out percheron. Like the hunt scene in Mame, but with bling and a GPS.

Though then we'd miss out on all the throbbing manhood and heaving bosoms. :(

[Mia412]

This thread almost made me spit my hot chocolate all over my screen. I laughed so hard that my cat is hiding under the table!

MyGiantPony, I need to come hunting with you! I'll bring snacks!

[Risk-Averse Rider]

And he a mustang that you rescued from the kill pen.

I sense a best seller in the making.

Toby Maguire as the leading man? Keira Knightley as the headstrong daughter??Sean Connery as the MFH?

PLEASE!?!?!

[JSwan]

Sean Connery as the MFH?

PLEASE!?!?!

Oh yes, pretty please with sugar on top?

How 'bout the new James Bond guy as huntsman?

I'll never miss a meet again. Promise. :D


Equibrit - I had to look that lady up. Wow. Wow wow wow.....

[2ndyrgal]

only thing hotter than Sean Connery would be Sean Connery in breeches. On a horse. In front of me.

[JulesGirl]

I'll brave first flight for that.

[Badger]

Please let me be the push whip.

Heaven!

[EventFan]

only thing hotter than Sean Connery would be Sean Connery in breeches. On a horse. In front of me.



**swoon****

[rivenoak]

only thing hotter than Sean Connery would be Sean Connery in breeches. On a horse. In front of me.

Or Sean Connery AS your horse. <nyuk nyuk nyuk>

'though I might have to fight JSwan for Daniel Craig. :eek::yes:

[Rt66Kix]

Oh! Oh! Oh! I found the perfect saddle to match all the necessary hunt attire!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ansur-dresssage-saddle-tiger-print-cow-hair-inlay_W0QQitemZ230318206168QQihZ013QQcategoryZ4728 2QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

And don't worry if your sandwich case has rounded or square corners. As long as it holds your refilled water bottle full of Mad Dog 20/20, you'll be just fine. If tricks were good that week, then fill 'er up with Old Grandad.

And just whom will tackle the delicate subjects of the proper length of your thong, and the color of your popper? :D

[Coreene]

I hunt with Sister Jane and Aunt Esther.

[Badger]

Speaking of perfect saddles. For those armchair foxhunters, who like to read a good hunt report from the cheery warmth of their home:
http://www.dominicwilcox.com/orgasmatron.html

[JSwan]

I hunt with Sister Jane and Aunt Esther.

Does Aunt Esther's purse have rounded or square edges? Sister Jane will not tolerate purses with rounded edges, and she'll thwack you with her hunt whip (which of course has the correct length thong and proper color popper).

Then you'll be sent to bed without your supper. Mendicant!

:D

Members of the Disappearing Saddle Club don't have to worry about tiger stripes on their saddle, our butts and thighs are so big you can't see the saddle anyway.

[lrkrame2]

Speaking of perfect saddles. For those armchair foxhunters, who like to read a good hunt report from the cheery warmth of their home:
http://www.dominicwilcox.com/orgasmatron.html

LMFAO! I opened that link at work!! talk about hittin the X REALLY QUICK! :D

[Rt66Kix]

I do believe this thread has gone into a full riot! Noses up and running into the wind! Woo-hoo! And we've even got several trenchers from other forums! Now THAT'S a hunt, folks! :lol:

[MyGiantPony]

JMurray -

That's the smell of mendacity. :lol:



I admit I am puzzled. Because I can't figure out where I fit into the "gentlemanly"sport of foxhunting.

If a person wipes their nose on the sleeve of their Melton, does that make them a rich snob or working class?

Can rednecks foxhunt or are we restricted to NASCAR?

If going out to dinner means you kill and eat whatever is running around your back yard, are you still allowed to hang out at tailgates?

If you once had to go home early because the curb chain got hooked on your cheap britches, they ripped, and your Wal-Mart underwear hung out, do they charge extra on your membership? Is there a stupid tax?

What if your draft cross cost less than a latte? Do you have to show people the bill of sale or do you make one up and call your horse a Warmblood?

I'm confused and it's making my bosoms heave. :lol:

OMG I'm choking on my bagel....

[Lady Counselor]

Bwah ha ha ha ha!
Best thread evah!
Fiction along the lines of the cow/logging truck/OTTB saga (though not as skillfully done) that has somehow morphed into 'heaving bosoms' and NASCAR!
:lol:

ETA: Poster should change title to: "First time posting was a humiliating experience."

[bigbaytb]

:lol::lol::lol:

OMG....I did the mistake of opening this thread at work..read the entire thing...have not gotten anything done..and now have to go change my pants because I just s>>t myself laughing.

And I do not feel sorry for the OP..the TROLL...for the ripping..it was 150% truly epic in hilarity....
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[wateryglen]

Wateryglen bows low in an arm sweeping motion to Equibrit for her long post with many educumacating factuals!

And Mygiantpony is totally the BEST poster. Where does she get this stuff! I wanna hunt with you too!

If we're electing a MFH of our fictional hunt; then we need more nominations and a NAME & PLACE for our hunt......

I nominate Pierce Brosnan for master, Clinton Anderson for huntsman and of course it's the Snobbington Hunt in Dinwiddie, Virginia!!!

And Rt66kix! boy are we coffeehousing on this riot!!!

And sheeesh...I hate it when JSwan uses them big words ...like mendicant?!!! Mendacity?!!! :eek:

[Coreene]

JSwan, AE was banging Walter! Tallyho, indeed! End of the whip wasn't the only popper. Of course, she owns more than 100 acres and doesn't live in an apartment, and with all that wealth she's never turned away after a long trailer ride. Not that she would do her own hauling in the first place.

[JSwan]

JNot that she would do her own hauling in the first place.

Well of course, dahling, that is what staff are for. My goodness, you don't think we actually drive, do you?

The reason I know so many big words is because I'm so rich, even my staff has graduate degrees. Spare no expense, I always say. It's hard to find good help, but if one can afford out of work English majors then dahling, one is firmly entrenched in society.

[Mozart]

With all due respect to Rodney Dangerfield ;), I shall not give up on heaving bosoms and throbbing manhoods. Nevah!

But OP needs to tell us if she/he is a boy or girl. It is crucial for continuing plot development.

Now, while Aunt Esther may carry an Hermes sandwich case, I just know she has too much class to be rude to a plucky paralegal who trailered so far and so long for her sport. Please say she did not join in the toffee nosed blue bloods who so horribly misused our hero/heroine. I cannot be so :(.

[Tantivy1]

Now, while Aunt Esther may carry an Hermes sandwich case,

A HERMES sandwich case? WHERE?!! Not even in my wildest dreams!

A hot wild riot indeed!

(wiping drool off the keyboard)

[linquest]

toffee nosed blue bloods

I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds funny :lol:

Is this thread aiming for the "Longest Thread on the Hunting Forum Award?"

[DairyQueen2049]

BWAH! Rodney Dangerfield on a giant tricked-out percheron. Like the hunt scene in Mame, but with bling and a GPS.

Though then we'd miss out on all the throbbing manhood and heaving bosoms. :(


There must be throbbing and heaving - else why the men going to the movie???

[DairyQueen2049]

[quote=DairyQueen2049;3786090]Why were you in my closet??
Gimmie those back!![/quote (http://www.yougotrickrolled.com/[/quote)]

Are you that woman we had to banish from the hunt because you were riding this:

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/84000/84465GLnk_w.jpg

You must be - otherwise, why would you have all that correct attire in your closet?


Cain't I ride mah gaited spotted, I mean Spotted Gaited Horses in your hunt? Of course theys match mah clothes. I have ex-let taste! And class too. I use them straws in the drinks jus' like yur sup'ose to.

[MyGiantPony]

[quote=MyGiantPony;3786106]


Cain't I ride mah gaited spotted, I mean Spotted Gaited Horses in your hunt? Of course theys match mah clothes. I have ex-let taste! And class too. I use them straws in the drinks jus' like yur sup'ose to.

All breeds are welcome - just please no farting of butterflies - it distracts the hounds.

[Ozalynda]

only thing hotter than Sean Connery would be Sean Connery in breeches. On a horse. In front of me.

Bagged that one! :lol: I was stand-in for Sean Connery...

I was working in Ireland as a rider and groom for Michael Stone, who in the days before his political career in FEI was a good jump rider. We were providing the horses and horse expertise for the filming of the movie The Great Train Robbery which starred Sean Connery and Donald Sutherland. I have no idea how that came about, but probably through Michael's father, Colonel Stone who I suspect was well connected (also a dear man dispite the imposing title).

Half of the stabling at the Michael's place was rented out to Jackie Dougherty who was one of the leading dressage riders at the time. She and most of her "girls" were extras in the film, as were Michael and his brother David. Being a rather shy 18, I didn't want to do that, so instead I landed the job as Sean Connery's stand-in, which was a rather presumptuous title since it involved no filming per se.

Ironically, I had no idea who he was at the time, so I was totally unimpressed. I even tried to instruct him on how to hold his double reins so he would not look foolish on film (he had them gripped all four in one fist with his whip pointed skyward in the other fist). He looked down at me from his great height and haughtily replied " *I* know how to ride...I play POLO!".

I remember that Sean Connery also came several times to ride at the stable on one of Michael jumpers and I had to give the horse a good warm-up ride before Mr. Connery arrived so he didn't get thrown. :>) He also complained about his horse in the film because everyone else were riding the nice jumpers or dressage horses and he and his lady in the scene were riding portly irish draughts!

Good story to tell my grandkids...

[SuperSTB]

[quote=DairyQueen2049;3786090]Why were you in my closet??
Gimmie those back!![/quote (http://www.yougotrickrolled.com/[/quote)]

Are you that woman we had to banish from the hunt because you were riding this:

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/84000/84465GLnk_w.jpg

You must be - otherwise, why would you have all that correct attire in your closet?

Can you get some draw reins on that beast? The headset is soooo not approriate for the hunt. Geesh

[MyGiantPony]

Wateryglen bows low in an arm sweeping motion to Equibrit for her long post with many educumacating factuals!

THAT was amazing! :lol:

And Mygiantpony is totally the BEST poster. Where does she get this stuff! I wanna hunt with you too!

I am sick and twisted and accepted that about myself a long long time ago. :lol:

If we're electing a MFH of our fictional hunt; then we need more nominations and a NAME & PLACE for our hunt......

I nominate Pierce Brosnan for master, Clinton Anderson for huntsman and of course it's the Snobbington Hunt in Dinwiddie, Virginia!!!

And Rt66kix! boy are we coffeehousing on this riot!!!

And sheeesh...I hate it when JSwan uses them big words ...like mendicant?!!! Mendacity?!!! :eek:

My nominations:

MFH - this guy: http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f279/toshiba_200/Icons/cowboy1.jpg

Huntsman - this guy:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1218/970742712_1a4e5dd2cd.jpg

Whips - these guys:
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k167/eebee717/firemen.jpg

[houndsplease]

Great thread :)def agree with Sean Connery as MFH maybe joint masters with Pierce Brosnan.

Johnny Depp for huntsman with Brad Pitt as Whipper- in . Was that Upper or Lower Dinwiddie ??:D:lol::winkgrin:




Wateryglen bows low in an arm sweeping motion to Equibrit for her long post with many educumacating factuals!

And Mygiantpony is totally the BEST poster. Where does she get this stuff! I wanna hunt with you too!

If we're electing a MFH of our fictional hunt; then we need more nominations and a NAME & PLACE for our hunt......

I nominate Pierce Brosnan for master, Clinton Anderson for huntsman and of course it's the Snobbington Hunt in Dinwiddie, Virginia!!!

And Rt66kix! boy are we coffeehousing on this riot!!!

And sheeesh...I hate it when JSwan uses them big words ...like mendicant?!!! Mendacity?!!! :eek:

[MyGiantPony]

[quote=MyGiantPony;3786106]

Can you get some draw reins on that beast? The headset is soooo not approriate for the hunt. Geesh

Why do you think she was banished from the hunt? Besides, it kept stomping on the antea....errrr...hounds.

[x-rab]

I like MyGiantPony's selection for MFH, Huntsman and staff. Sean is a little long in the tooth for my taste these days. Guess the liking for younger men comes from having been a dirty old lady since I was a lot younger. I may be on a diet since I am married, but I do like to look at the menu.

[JSwan]

MFH - this guy: http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f279/toshiba_200/Icons/cowboy1.jpg

Huntsman - this guy:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1218/970742712_1a4e5dd2cd.jpg

Whips - these guys:
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k167/eebee717/firemen.jpg


Oh mymymymymymy (JSwan fans herself, her heaving bosoms swaying wildly (because they hang down to her knees)

Anyone of those fellas can tighten my girth anytime.

Dear God
Please make one of those guys a member of my hunt and I will promise never to miss a meet again. Really. I'm serious.
Amen

x-rab is a cougar? Lawd, girl, I never would have figured you for a cougar!:lol:

[Trevelyan96]

My Giant Pony is hereby crowned the queen of hunt standards!

The most likely reason Tallboots was booted from the hunt is because she FORGOT HER FLASK!

I would like Pierce Brosnan as the poor impoverished groom that needs to 'take care of' all the ladies so that he can afford his GP Jumper.

[houndsplease]

Speaking of perfect saddles. For those armchair foxhunters, who like to read a good hunt report from the cheery warmth of their home:
http://www.dominicwilcox.com/orgasmatron.html

Do you think they have these at scratch and dent ??;)

[Coreene]

Now, while Aunt Esther may carry an Hermes sandwich case, I just know she has too much class to be rude to a plucky paralegal who trailered so far and so long for her sport. Please say she did not join in the toffee nosed blue bloods who so horribly misused our hero/heroine. I cannot be so :(.Aunt Esther, absolutely, would never behave this way. Although Belgian, Aunt Esther has learned from Sister Jane and her other Virginny pals the fine art of "Oh my" and "Bless your heart." ;)

[ChocoMare]

I've been lured from OC.... this is hysterical! :lol:

Oh mymymymymymy (JSwan fans herself, her heaving bosoms swaying wildly (because they hang down to her knees)



Why Jessica dear, you're having a case of the vay-phurs. (Channeling Katie Scarlett O'Hara). :winkgrin:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

[x-rab]

I have always appreciated beauty. Things haven't changed. Back when hubby played soccer, I went to all his games. When people would ask me why I went, the standard reply was: "I am usually the only female with 20 some odd half naked men running around. What is my down side?" I still like looking at handsome men and pretty horses.

[MyGiantPony]

My Giant Pony is hereby crowned the queen of hunt standards!



How do I afix my tiarra to my hard hat?

[Glimmerglass]

Bagged that one! :lol: I was stand-in for Sean Connery...

Interesting! The Great Train Robbery was fom 1979 although he did ride on screen briefly a horse in Marnie from 1964 so he wasn't lying about riding ;)

Sean and Tippi from the Hitchcock film (http://sirseanconnery.tripod.com/marnie11a.jpg) - although maybe that is really the OP "Tallboots".

Ah, Marnie riding sans saddle, shoes, helmet ....and jumping a 4' fence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsRo62c9uJY)

[JSwan]

How do I afix my tiarra to my hard hat?


Your groom holds it over your head and whispers in your ear, "Remember, Thou art mortal." :lol::lol::lol:

It makes taking a fence a real PITA but creek crossings are easy because the water parts for you.:D

[SuperSTB]

I refuse to hunt in the US after my terrible ordeal...

I had my trainer pick up a lovely mount... a good deal at only $259,437.68. Imported warmblood from Monaco. My trainer told me they have a fabulous Olympic Equestrian team.

Anyhow I sent my personal shopper out to pick up all the proper attire suitable for the hunt.

Very Chic! (http://forum.horse.com/upfiles/2252/4E9B28BF04494430B8BA8372DD2C723C.jpg)

Alas it would be lovely dress for the weekend in the Hamptons but so not for a hunt. I fired the personal shopper. Because I was in a pinch, I contacted my Neiman Marcus customer associate who was so fabulous in the transaction where I purchased the Thoroughbred Racing Package. Of course she put me through to the fashion executive who kindly put together a fabulous hunt outfit which I had my butler run to fetch. Yes I know he had to fly out to Dallas but he was a good sport about it.

I arrived in my G55 AMG, I call her “Riesling”, which I had my assistant drive for me since you just never know if those country roads where the little people like to live are paved.

In complete and utter embarrassment my stable manager was not there prior to my arrival as he was explicitly instructed to be so I fired him and the groom. This left me to scramble and ask the other riders in the hunt if they would kindly stand in as groom while I finished my latte.

This is when I noticed that the hunt was clearly not as I imagined. I was surrounded by ‘common’ people. There were used jackets, domestically crossbred horses, old tack, and trailers obviously manufactured in previous years.

And they wouldn’t even take my American Express card for the capping fees. I mean honestly! Plus there was some tall blue box actually in the parking lot to which they actually suggested I use as a “restroom”? I’m still baffled as to why they called it John. Who IS John and why does he have blue boxes named after him? I politely declined among the snickering crowd of such… ack… middle class.

Clearly OP should have attended this hunt. Based on what I witnessed they accept anyone. Please let me know where OP’s hunt club is. They obviously have set proper standards to eliminate such riffraff.

[Rt66Kix]

All breeds are welcome - just please no farting of butterflies - it distracts the hounds.

Well, my dear, not if you hunt with PMD's. They are butterfly-proof, doncha know?

And since you are going to have a tiara on your helmet, then you may replace your hunt whip with a sceptor. Just please be sure it is a staghorn, and not a knobend. One must still observe propriety even at your level, yes?

[Mudroom]

I suggest we stop replying to this thread so the subject line goes to the bottom of the list where it belongs.

[Rt66Kix]

Oh mymymymymymy (JSwan fans herself, her heaving bosoms swaying wildly (because they hang down to her knees)

Ah! Just in time! TOTD has Toasty Tops in both a sports bra AND camisole style! Perfect under your shirt and stock tie. And if you are still swingin' low, well, there's yet ANOTHER use for a stock tie! Strap those girls up, grab mane and kick on! :lol:

[MyGiantPony]

I suggest we stop replying to this thread so the subject line goes to the bottom of the list where it belongs.

You are hereby banished. No curmudgeons allowed.

However, I can be bribed. Deed over 500 acres of prime NOVA hunt territory to me and all will be forgiven.

[MyGiantPony]

Well, my dear, not if you hunt with PMD's. They are butterfly-proof, doncha know?

And since you are going to have a tiara on your helmet, then you may replace your hunt whip with a sceptor. Just please be sure it is a staghorn, and not a knobend. One must still observe propriety even at your level, yes?

I'm thinking of sportin this look:

http://costumes.narniaweb.com/whitewitch_files/battle7.JPG

[Rienzi]

Who brought the Lindburger and sardine sandwhich to this hunt!

[Glimmerglass]

You are hereby banished. No curmudgeons allowed.

However, I can be bribed. Deed over 500 acres of prime NOVA hunt territory to me and all will be forgiven.

Are you sure just 500-acres and not 499 or 501? :D This thread is about being precise - note the OP drove 357 miles and left at 2:45 am, not 2:40.

For the curmudgeons watch this for a distraction and feel assured we can stay on forum (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fKxp7IY6gE&feature=related) if we want to.

[MyGiantPony]

Are you sure just 500-acres and not 499 or 501? :D This thread is about being precise - note the OP drove 357 miles and left at 2:45 am, not 2:40.

For the curmudgeons watch this for a distraction and feel assured we can stay on forum (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fKxp7IY6gE&feature=related) if we want to.

500 precisely.

I'd accept 497, but then I still have the option of holding a grudge.

[x-rab]

How about a glue gun to attach the tiara to your hard hat or we can have a custom HH made with the crown permanently attached.

As far as the swinging low problem, don't forget the Title Nine and UnderArmor breast plates. I was assured that wearing an UnderArmor version, one size smaller that you would normally wear, really packs the girls down.

[lalahartma1]

HAHAHHA, and here I was hoping to read a Bernie Wooster type account of the first time hunting. :)

[Equibrit]

Just for Jessica !

Do your t-ts hang low,
Can you tie them round your middle,
In a big floppy bow,
Can you swing them to the ceiling,
With a free and easy feeling,
If you can do all this,
Then your t-ts hang low.

To the "Hornblower" tune.

[Coreene]

I hunt with Bertie Wooster. Bernie is the half-brother that the Wooster family doesn't discuss. ;)

[LookinSouth]

For the curmudgeons watch this for a distraction and feel assured we can stay on forum (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fKxp7IY6gE&feature=related) if we want to.



I'm having fun reading this thread but that video was awesome!! Thanks for posting:yes:

[LookinSouth]

. They even teased me about my horse. Granted he's not a half million dollar wonder, but I work hard to be able to afford him, keep him in good health, and all the rest.

.


Well whatya expect when you show up to the hunt intending to ride this...

http://www.hunthorse.com/herman%20027.JPG



:lol: (sorry couldn't resist)

[Glimmerglass]

I'm having fun reading this thread but that video was awesome!! Thanks for posting:yes:
You're welcome - I enjoyed watching it too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fKxp7IY6gE) and no one looked or acted pretentious or haughty. Just a good time had by all across the countryside on an average looking day.

[Beverley]

Well whatya expect when you show up to the hunt intending to ride this...

http://www.hunthorse.com/herman%20027.JPG



:lol: (sorry couldn't resist)

Aha. Now go check off 'Holsteiner' for somebody in the 'what breed do you hunt' poll.:cool:

[Chall]

Name the hunt or it didn't happen.
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[LookinSouth]

Aha. Now go check off 'Holsteiner' for somebody in the 'what breed do you hunt' poll.:cool:


:lol:

[Rt66Kix]

And class too. I use them straws in the drinks jus' like yur sup'ose to.

Oh, no. Straws? When one has a hand-blown glass flask? Aunt Esther would be appalled!

I think I'm pushing it by having my cap attached to the flask by a lovely piece of metal. Keeps everything intact when your horse is paying more attention to the strike hound at a check than you are...:eek: "And they're off!"

[Foxtrot's]

I can't understand why you guys are giving this poster the pleasure of your posts - as usual it is a first time poster with a tall tale. You are playing into their game. I wasn't going to post, I really wasn't but after scrolling through a few too many, couldn't resist.
It is BS.

[Kyzteke]

I can't understand why you guys are giving this poster the pleasure of your posts - as usual it is a first time poster with a tall tale. You are playing into their game. I wasn't going to post, I really wasn't but after scrolling through a few too many, couldn't resist.
It is BS.

I doubt they are giving the OP any pleasure, but I've gone through 2 packages of Depends reading this thread I'm laughing so hard.

I dunno about hunting with you guys, but I'd go drinking with you any day!

Kick on indeed!!! Most fun I've had on COTH in a coon's age....

[flash1]

I have never heard of anything so absurd in my life....OK...I just read some of the other posts...talk about wasting peoples time!! :)

[Beverley]

I can't understand why you guys are giving this poster the pleasure of your posts - as usual it is a first time poster with a tall tale. You are playing into their game. I wasn't going to post, I really wasn't but after scrolling through a few too many, couldn't resist.
It is BS.

I think we culled the OP long ago. I suppose we might be guilty of babbling a bit, but there's no harm in a bit of fun, is there?

[ceffyl]

I can't understand why you guys are giving this poster the pleasure of your posts - as usual it is a first time poster with a tall tale. You are playing into their game. I wasn't going to post, I really wasn't but after scrolling through a few too many, couldn't resist.
It is BS.


:eek::eek::eek: Well you fell for it !!! :lol::lol::lol:

[awm]

I don't remember reading a thread on the Hunting Forum that has been as much fun &
informative as this one!
The Videos, esp. the Bray Harriers, are terrific! It's been great to see fellow foxhunters
following the line, joining in, getting the babblers & skirters back on track, and speaking
true! I hope this goes 'til dark, then gets started again at the next fixture, continuing
as long as there are personalities!

[MyGiantPony]

I think I'm pushing it by having my cap attached to the flask by a lovely piece of metal. Keeps everything intact when your horse is paying more attention to the strike hound at a check than you are...:eek: "And they're off!"

correct headwear for our hunt -

for riders:
http://www.zymetrical.com/images/products/beerhelmet.jpg

for our mounts:
http://zhun.pair.com/spatiall/gallery2/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=1025&g2_serialNumber=2

[x-rab]

I need a bigger hat. Don't drink beer, but do drink Maker's Mark and that beer can hold just won't do at all. Or a hat that would hold a fifth of Maker's on one side and a fifth of Basil Hayden on the other. That is a good hunting hat.

Besides my horse wouldn't be caught dead in a sombero, he requires elegance in his head gear.

[MyGiantPony]

he requires elegance in his head gear.

Then sugar, that is the WRONG horse for this hunt! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Foxtrot's]

Shoot - I scrolled right past the fun part where the thread veered a bit - was left behind after the first page or two. Shows what COTHers can make of even the most idiotic of trolls.

[x-rab]

He is the best hunter around. He is a lovely chestnut, 17HH delicate flower every place except the hunt field then watch out. I pander his ego because he is so wonderful. He wouldn't flinch at anything I want to do, but stands on his dignity about his most majestic person.

[CarrieK]

So, the OP doesn't need me to stand next to him/her? Bummer. Cause I was hopin' for the pity-invite to hunt along.

Altho, if any of the rest of you need someone to make you look better, I'm your gal!

[linquest]

Don't drink beer, but do drink Maker's Mark and that beer can hold just won't do at all. Or a hat that would hold a fifth of Maker's on one side and a fifth of Basil Hayden on the other.

I appreciate your taste in Bourbon :cool:

[DawnT]

I want to thank you all for the most delightful thread I have read in ages. I would love to hilltop some day and enjoy a gallop across country too.

[islandrider]

the one I started about Stefan Peters. I have haven't laughed this much for a long time.
A good thing for the beginning of the year! Bullshit mush have a certain cyber smell because this is the first time I've visited the Hunting thread ever. Maybe it has something to do with drinking white wine tonite? I usually drink red, but a friend left a bottle. Anyway, thank you, tallboots, for such a hoot of a Friday eve. I'm gonna go have another glass, watch that youtube.

[LockeMeadows]

My nominations:

MFH - this guy: http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f279/toshiba_200/Icons/cowboy1.jpg

Huntsman - this guy:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1218/970742712_1a4e5dd2cd.jpg

Whips - these guys:
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k167/eebee717/firemen.jpg

Wow, they are beautiful. We'll see you at tomorrow's meet!

Oh, wait, sorry to butt into your thread from Hunterland. We could smell the troll from our board. :lol:

[Painted Wings]

I'm signing up for that hunt even if I have to buy 200 acres of land. I think we scared old tall boots away, it hasn't posted other than the first two posts. Sometimes "greenie" can be translated into troll. Such a silly scenario though.

[Coreene]

Besides my horse wouldn't be caught dead in a sombero, he requires elegance in his head gear.Well duh! You need to buy him an URBAN SOMBRERO!!! :winkgrin:

[Wheel Whip]

This is the best thing that has happened to me since the deep freeze set in and hunting stopped!
Don't forget the wheel whips in your scenario. We could all drive tastfully pimped Astin Martin convertables!
If all trolls were this entertaining, we should keep one as a pet. Oops, I forgot they can't be housebroken and they bite the hand that feeds them.
Can we form our own hunt club?

[EmmyTheHemi]

I need a bigger hat. Don't drink beer, but do drink Maker's Mark and that beer can hold just won't do at all. Or a hat that would hold a fifth of Maker's on one side and a fifth of Basil Hayden on the other. That is a good hunting hat.

X-rab, you can fill my flask any time. ;)

While I heartily endorse the MM/BH modification to the pictured hat, how would one accommodate Knob Creek and/or Woodford Reserve? The rectangular bottle shapes would require a significant redesign. Perhaps an oversized sandwich case would work?

[Mia412]

Maybe this will work to carry our favorite drinks!

http://www.performancebike.com/shop/profile.cfm?SKU=23594&subcategory_ID=4340

[Beasmom]

This was my first visit to the hunting forum. I'm an old chicken dressage rider (my jumping days are long over) but, oh, my, now I want to hilltop at least. What fun! Y'all are a hoot!

[Anselcat]

This was my first visit to the hunting forum. I'm an old chicken dressage rider (my jumping days are long over) but, oh, my, now I want to hilltop at least. What fun! Y'all are a hoot!

Yeah, ditto that. This thread has done more to dispel the myth of elitist hunts than a serious post!

[Tantivy1]

Yeah, ditto that. This thread has done more to dispel the myth of elitist hunts than a serious post!

Do believe Miss TallBoots has accomplished EGGSACTLY the opposite of what she was hoping for with her first post.....what is that term? Yeah, the LAW OF UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES.

[Sansena]

I clicked this thread expecting to read of some catastrophic riding accident.. being dragged through mud with the rider's breeches torn from bum to boot, perhaps.

I know NOTHING about hunting other than the fact that you who do have stones of steel and damned hearty horses. How'd I learn that? By accident. I happened upon a hunt as it was winding up one Sunday in N. Salem NY. There were tens of riders galloping up/ down the road, and coming in over the field to load up their horses and head out for breakfast.

I was with a friend in western tack. Our eyes big as saucers. We were met with hearty greetings, inquiries to our horses' breeding/ discipline and invited to meet with them next time. No pretense, certainly no outfit, and no, no mention of a $150 fee. Just horsefolk networking on the trail, as it work.

Nope. OP's a troll. And conspicuously quiet I see now...

[JulesGirl]

Troll fail! :D

[wateryglen]

Yup! We'uns ain't all right!
Welcome to you tourists coming over to Huntland to party with us!
Now hand over your $150 fee.....what?!! you didn't know there was a CAP FEE for coming to the Hunt Forum?!!! Well Yeah!!! So hand it over!! Checks only made out to Wateryglen....I'm the hunt secretary....yeah, that's it!

So what kind of beer do we have in our beer hat hard hats? I prefer Blue Moon......I think I actually hunted with a hunt with members who had these kinds of helmets......honest!

JSwan! 2 words! Athletic bra........
Good Pony! I'm forgiving your cap fee for todays meet.....I can do that....I'm the hon.sec of the Snobbington ya know! yeah, that's it.....
oh....and you have too much time on your hands.....which I just love!! :D

[Beasmom]

Say, after galloping & jumping, doesn't the beer in your beer hat get all foamy and stuff? I like Fat Tire, myself. Yup, gotta hilltop somewhere...

[MagicRoseFarm]

Johnny Depp as Huntsman? are you sure? I mean , I understand the view and all but...

this hunt could be exploring territories never seen by hound or horseman.....

[linquest]

Good Pony! I'm forgiving your cap fee for todays meet.....I can do that....I'm the hon.sec of the Snobbington ya know! yeah, that's it.....
oh....and you have too much time on your hands.....which I just love!! :D

Oh, can we officially have a "Snobbington Hunt Club" clique? We can't be a "real" COTH forum until we have a resident troll AND a clique :lol:

[TinkerBells]

This OP's story stinks so bad I could smell it all the way over in the Dressage Forum and had to come over and find out what the stink was all about.


Absolutely hilarous thread.

I agree .... only I smelled it from over in the Horse Care forum !!! :lol::lol::D

[JSwan]

I agree .... only I smelled it from over in the Horse Care forum !!! :lol::lol::D

No worries, old boy. I'll have my man clean your kit!

(I'm watching Zulu) :lol::lol:



Take everything the OP wrote and make it the opposite and you'll have a better description of hunting. Nice friendly down to earth people, not snobby or elite. It's very much a sport that anyone can participate in, no matter what your profession, what type of horse you have, etc. Teachers, plumbers, farmers, retirees, military, painters, secretaries.... folks come from all walks of life.

Hunts have hilltopping groups, and some have a third field. There are car followers, supportive spouses/family, and entire families hunt. Some folks are really serious about it, some just like to ride and enjoy the countryside, and some are interested in the houndwork. In the off season hunts offer trail rides, clinics, help clear trails, and do all sort of community activities. It's very much a part of the fabric of a rural community.

So.... come on out!!! No need to be intimidated or scared, folks will watch out for you and help you.

You'll have a blast and if you get dirty, I'll have my man clean your kit. ;):D

[TBlitz]

JSwan, you forgot to include "poor college student" as a profession;)

MGP, what kind of saddle pads are we allowed to include with our pink or leopard print saddles? :winkgrin:

[TinkerBells]

Thanks, JSwan!!! Now, I just have to find a suitable mount (that is after I lose my 100lbs :( ) ... as the horse I have now would kill me in that kind of environment ! argh

[4Martini]

Say, after galloping & jumping, doesn't the beer in your beer hat get all foamy and stuff? I like Fat Tire, myself. Yup, gotta hilltop somewhere...

Hey Beasmom- I did the Arapahoe Hunt hunter pace this fall and had a blast! The people were really nice and really encouraged us to come out hunting anytime. I did get to ride with the Gallway Blazers in Ireland and have wanted to take up hunting ever since. Unfortunatly, my TB just doesn't have the disposition for it (as demonstrated in our first attempt at a team hunter pace :lol:)

http://www.arapahoehunt.com/

When I lived in Ireland and kayaked we used to start the morning with "rocket fuel" 50% extra dark coffee, 50% Jamison MMM Great way to start the day!

[CarrieK]

I'll have my man clean your kit!...I'll have my man clean your kit. ;):D

Whoo-hoo! You don't have to tell me twice! I am so there! And, goodness knows, my kit needs cleaning!!

[linquest]

I'll have my man clean your kit. ;):D

Ahem, is this a euphemism for something not related to hunting? :confused: :winkgrin:

[Rt66Kix]

For those of you who want to give hunting a try, yet don't have a suitable mount, don't let that stop you!

I know of a LOT of people that have older campaigners that are standing around in a pasture, and would love to have them exercised. In my case, I have a 16 y/o Percheron/TB that I've rehabbed. He needs to go out hunting in Hilltoppers. Currently I'm riding my QH, Buddy, and need to keep him in shape. But if I knew someone that was a good rider, that wouldn't mind going a bit slow whilst Thomas rehabs and gets back into shape, I'd love to have them ride him.

Chances are I'm not alone. Exercise is great for older horses, and the slower pace allows new riders to figure it all out. Ask around and see - ya never know.

Regarding appropriate carriers for libations. Here's the perfect transportation for those who don't have a good mount, can't find one, and desires to be the hit of the hunt club. :lol:

http://www.cruzincooler.com/

[Little Valkyrie]

Rt66 you are right on! I got a ride for the saint of a horse I whipped-in off of and field hunted for a few years before he had a jumping-ending injury. This year he was so bored without anything to do because between keeping my new hunt horse going, riding my mare, barn chores, and college, I didn't have any time for him :cry: So I found a member of the club that I know to be horseless but a very trusty horsewoman and she gets to ride the old man. This is the BEST hunt horse in the world, despite being a bit on the heavy side, and he was just sitting in the pasture because he can no longer whip-in. I'm just happy he can get out now and enjoy the job he loves :) Never hurts to ask around the hunt!

[bethechangexx]

Normally I'm just a lurker but this thread is just too fun.

I have to say I am disappointed with the quality of hunt attire you all reccomend :eek: :no: :dead:
I suggest you all follow my lead and buy some sensible hunting items.
My normal hunt attire/tack is:
saddle- http://horseloversoutlet.com/library/RMBAREBACKPAD1.jpg
tweed (casual)- http://bp2.blogger.com/_ucg7AoWKod8/Rke02KHF4YI/AAAAAAAAALM/uh1AeJrQWwA/s1600-h/4008.jpg
Not to be confused with
formal- http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1135/1366621924_253674a92a.jpg?v=0
Matching hunt watch- http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd316/michaelbartholdi/Random%20posting%20images/popswatches.jpg

And, this is allowed for those who wish to be more discreet than a beer hat (I do not have the same issues as JSwan): http://pourmore.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/winebra.jpg

I know you're dying to see my expensive hunter, Roch Au Freuschenlinheimenberger ("Dobbin")
Here's the groom taking dobbin on a casual trail ride: http://www.lamaworld.com.au/Clare%20Riding.jpg

Did I mention Dobbin was imported from Europe? Well he is donchaknow. This picture is taken right after right he landed.
http://www.thehatchreport.com/images/llama.jpg

Lastly, might I suggest http://farm1.static.flickr.com/42/96290679_631fa4d7cf.jpg?v=0
for the horse that requires a refined hat.

Happy Hunting to all, hope you can learn a bit from my superior taste. ^.^

[CandyHaasch]

O.K., that last post actually brought tears to my eyes, from laughing so hard. The photo of "Dobbin" landing from Europe is priceless. I also love the "elegant" hat. (Where do y' all FIND these things??)

My new goal in life is still to be riding to the hounds at age 94. So, I figure if I can get a baby out of my mare when she is 18 or older, and hunt that foal throughout its lifetime, that horse ought to be about suitably quiet (30 years of age) by then. Sounds like a plan. (Would 70 years be too old to be starting a young horse under saddle?)

Reminds me of the (true) story about the 103-year-old woman in Texas who was killed while out riding on the range. Apparently, the EMTs who were called to the scene began upbraiding the family for permitting this 103-year-old woman to go out riding. And the family responded, if our 103-year-old mother wanted to go out riding, how were we supposed to stop her? We couldn't stop her in a hundred years!

[LookinSouth]

Normally I'm just a lurker but this thread is just too fun.

Happy Hunting to all, hope you can learn a bit from my superior taste. ^.^


You really shouldn't lurk so much because that post was hysterical!

I wonder what they call the womanly camelbaks?(seriously) :lol:

[JSwan]

Ahem, is this a euphemism for something not related to hunting? :confused: :winkgrin:

No, not at all! It's a famous one-liner from the movie classic, Zulu. British officers had enlisted men clean their boots, buttons, and uniform.

Bromhead: Who said you could use my men?
Chard: They were sitting around on their backsides doing nothing.
Bromhead: Rather you asked first, old boy.
Chard: I was told their officer was out hunting.
Bromhead: Oh... yes. I'll tell my men to clean your kit.
Chard: Don't bother.
Bromhead: No bother - not offering to do it myself. Still, a chap ought to look smart in front of the men, don't you think? Well, chin-chin. Do carry on with your mud pies.


Doncha know I'm an edumacated redneck? Educmacted redneck foxhunters don't have "a man" to clean their kit, though. We just hose it off.
:lol:

[wateryglen]

Bethechange gets a free cap also! Dang that was funneeee!! :lol:

I hope JSwan got a good look at that athletic bra (better than a beer hat!) but it IS a bit shee-shee for rednecks! :confused: Glad somebody asked about "the kit" cuz I didn't know what they were but I was sure I wanted somebody else to clean mine no matter WHAT it was!!! :yes:;)
Wateryglen really must talk to the masters about JS using big words and acting all snobby like......it's intimidating to our tourist friends guesting on the hunting forum. Redneck snobs are the WORST! :rolleyes:

And I'm sorry to tell you that european imports & warmbloods with long german names simply can't hold up to the rigors of hunting here. They just won't stand still whilst we coffehouse & flask pass. The Snobbington is a Dobbin-Free Zone! Yup, that's it!

Wateryglen- hon sec of the Snobbington Hunt clique! But isn't that an oxymoron?!!!?:confused:

[linquest]

Wateryglen - may I be the Whoopee Wagon Fieldmaster/Chief Mixologist of the Snobbington Hunt clique? I promise Maker's Mark, Pabst Blue Ribbon (can't be a redneck hunt w/o that!), chardonnay (the kind in a box), assorted small batch bourbons, and Irish Coffee will be available during my term. :lol:

[Beasmom]

To hell with hilltopping. I just wanna hang around the Whoopee Wagon.

[MyGiantPony]

JSwan, you forgot to include "poor college student" as a profession;)

MGP, what kind of saddle pads are we allowed to include with our pink or leopard print saddles? :winkgrin:

Staff use these:
http://www.freewebs.com/sheepies666/Materials/Red%20Flames%20with%20Dragons.JPG

Except the huntsman - he uses #18:
http://www.noveltysaddlepad.com/Kid.htm

Members:
http://www.noveltysaddlepad.com/Fabric/Flames/fl13.jpg

Juniors:
Item 1 here:
http://www.noveltysaddlepad.com/Rainbow.htm

[Rienzi]

linquest, I INSIST on something home-made in a mason jar.

[Rienzi]

...and/or a Purple Schoolbus.

[Beverley]

linquest, I INSIST on something home-made in a mason jar.

Then you need to go hunt with Melvin Poe. You bring the jar, his home made wine is more than worth the trip.

[linquest]

Darn, I've hunted with Melvin twice and didn't have a mason jar handy :cry:

Rienzi- how about dandelion wine fermented in the jar? Weed wine is tres chic in redneck hunts, I hear :cool:

[Equibrit]

No, not at all! It's a famous one-liner from the movie classic, Zulu. British officers had enlisted men clean their boots, buttons, and uniform.


That would be a "batman" who is generally a volunteer from the ranks. He was responsible for all the Officer's duds issued by the MOD and referred to as "kit" which was to be found in a "kit bag".

[JSwan]

Thanks for the edumacation, Equibrit! Up till now I thought this was a batboy:D

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.collintheatrecenter.com/PastShows/2005/BatBoy/Photos/BatBoy-scanned.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.collintheatrecenter.com/PastShows/2005/BatBoy/MAIN.htm&usg=__T3fSV0V4GmoB4SY_vf1POCp_NoI=&h=520&w=479&sz=45&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=p5c-iJa8ELweHM:&tbnh=131&tbnw=121&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbat%2Bboy%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN





I love the way Michael Caine says, "No bother - not offering to do it myself".

Melvin Poe has a name for that wine he makes but I can't remember what it is.

[Equibrit]

Got it from my Dad who served at the other end of Africa in WWII. He had a "different" kind of war in the LRDG, chasing Rommel around!

[Painted Wings]

Rt66, we already have one of those mounts.

Here's one of our Masters and honorary staff after a successful kill proudly holding the brush high at our last hunt

http://www.pbase.com/lesliegra/image/78141330

She is wearing the boots selected only for staff members.

Members with colors have to wear these boots:

http://www.sierratradingpost.com/p/0,1023G_Twisted-X-Barn-Burner-Faux-Cheetah-Print-Boots-For-Women.html

[CarrieK]

Originally Posted by linquest
Ahem, is this a euphemism for something not related to hunting?

No, not at all! It's a famous one-liner from the movie classic, Zulu. British officers had enlisted men clean their boots, buttons, and uniform.
Aw, crap. I was really lookin forward to gettin my kit cleaned!

To hell with hilltopping. I just wanna hang around the Whoopee Wagon.
Hhhmmm, the Whoopee Wagon. Maybe that'll do the trick....

[wateryglen]

MGP! WHY do you think we members need saddlepads with flames on them? Huh??!! I loved it - altho' most of those prints look like nursing scrubs materials imho. I prefer saddlepads with stars on them tho'....actually have one.....

And Linquest is hereby appointed the Whoopee Wagon Fieldmaster PROVIDED she stays suitably mounted....and has her mount full of the various libations she described. Looks like PaintedWings MFH has already found a suitable mount so see her about an acquisition. We here in the Snobbington prefer to be proper and well hydrated. Hence the beer hat helmets or bra/beer dispensers.....

Kits? Schmits!! We need some staff & mfh's for the Snobbington...nominations are open! Did we go ahead and elect Shaun Connery master? OK then,,,,any joints? prez? I vote Batboy for kennelman!!! ooooo wouldn't the hounds just LOVE that!!! :eek::lol: And our membership requirements? What about those!?? Acreage? Costs?
Honestly are you people gonna make me do everything? (said in a whiney voice....)I think we have the attire & saddlepads & tack fairly decided on.

Forming a hunt really takes it outa you....whew!! :winkgrin:

[Beasmom]

Go have a beer, wateryglen!

[MyGiantPony]

MGP! WHY do you think we members need saddlepads with flames on them? Huh??!! I loved it - altho' most of those prints look like nursing scrubs materials imho. I prefer saddlepads with stars on them tho'....actually have one.....



Because, darling - we are HOT! :lol:

[IrishWillow]

I cant believe that!
I belong to Cloudline, and I definitely live in an apartment!

[bethechangexx]

We here in the Snobbington prefer to be proper and well hydrated. Hence the beer hat helmets or bra/beer dispensers.....
I'm a junior.. Looks like mine will just be a fancy water bra :winkgrin:

PS if the waterbra is not your style, how about http://ridingaside.blogspot.com/2009/01/riding-corsets.html for size?

[HydroPHILE]

This thread is one of my DF's favorites to read.

How ridiculous. I seem to recall many fox hunters in NY who boarded their horses and didn't own extravagent estates. What hog wash.

[JSwan]

Because, darling - we are HOT! :lol:


You mean a HOT FLASH!:lol::lol:


Hydrophile - the smell of the OP's post has ripened with time and is now so bad it rivals my dog's farts.

[wateryglen]

We also have our mounts decided on so now we need staff! Helllooooo!
Nominations are open!!

And WG has NO intention of ever wearing a riding corset.....riding spanks maybe tho'......

[CarrieK]

We also have our mounts decided on so now we need staff! ..
I need a mount with a staff....

edited to add: threadkiller!!

But I was just following the OP's lead and trolling...for a date, but trolling nonetheless.

[x-rab]

If my Hubby and I ever get out hunting again, I do have my mason jar with some prime clear liquid in it guaranteed to put hair on your chest. Will bring it with me along with my Makers and Basil. Might even bring some Jamison's while I am at it if it is cold enough. Wateryglen can testify to the quality of beverages and food.

[linquest]

x-rab- you're not trying to usurp my position as Whoopie Wagon Fieldmaster and Chief Mixologist, are you? We do, however, need a chef for the breakfasts :winkgrin:

[bamboozled]

It's true, it's all true I tell you.

I am the spoken of hunt secretary.

I'm also the Master.

I was conferring with myself trying to decide if we should let this person hunt with us.

This yahoo showed up in completely inappropriate attire. Black melton, buff breeches, brown gloves.

Piff. OUR attire requires these breeches:
http://www.equestrianways.com/shop/images/uploads/Anastasiatrend300.jpg

This coat:
http://www.urbanchiconline.com/images/W/JGMU1116JC-High_Seas-2.jpg

These boots:
http://images.channeladvisor.com/Sell/SSProfiles/43000135/Images/33/DH939PINK.jpg

These gloves:
http://www.crowstonstack.co.uk/active_images/Catalogue/heritage-pink-cheetah-glove.jpg

And all horses MUST be half-million dollar wonders.

Any of you here who are willing to comply with our attire requirements are most welcome to cap with us. And our cap fee is now $300. Word's out. We are now super popular thanks to this thread, and can make a killing with fees.

Ooo...ooo...this must be the Northeast Philly/Cherry Hill Hunt? Correct? Rides out of King of Prussia Mall?

[bamboozled]

Here is a beautiful picture of staff on a screaming run (note - staff don't wear boots - we don't pay them enough to afford them) :

http://planetnomad.files.wordpress.com/2006/11/liz02.JPG

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[x-rab]

linquest, I can do food. I usually have scones with me for the morning hunts, but can do other things too. Don't know that hubby would let me fire up my portable grill, but who knows. I can reheat chili and soup with the grill too. Always have hot coffee and now have added hot chocolate to the mix, with marshmellows. Come on out. WG knows how to find me.