Have you ever. . .

[erinwillow]

sold a horse only to later regret it overwhelmingly?? To boot, new owner refuses to return messages :( If I only knew then what I know now *sigh* . . I should never never never have sold her on. . .

[PonyPile]

I have.
I don't however go after the new owners to update me on the horse. When someone buys a horse, they generally want the horse only, not the old owner;) If they want to send me an e-mail letting me know hoe the horse is doing, then that is fantastic.
I think you have to let go.

[pj]

YEP. Thirty years ago and I STILL regret it. I would suggest that you drop the new owner's a note requesting that if they ever want to sell the horse that you be notified and given a chance to get it back and then..as ponypile said let it go.

[erinwillow]

I have.
I don't however go after the new owners to update me on the horse. When someone buys a horse, they generally want the horse only, not the old owner;) If they want to send me an e-mail letting me know hoe the horse is doing, then that is fantastic.
I think you have to let go.


I understand what you are saying. However I've only emailed on holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas last year and this year. . I actually sent out a bulk email to a handful of new owners and others have replied but the one who purchased my all time favorite just hasn't or won't and it just makes me sad:( I would think it just a kind thing to do to send me a pic or a sentence or two. . . *sigh*

[BeastieSlave]

Yes :(

I gave a lovely pony to a friend of a friend who promised a wonderful life and regular updates. She made me feel like a stalker when I e-mailed about the pony. Her answers were short and terse. In the last one she told me she gave the pony to her aunt who took her 'out west'. I knew she wouldn't tell me any more, but I did request she forward my contact information. I suspect the pony went somewhere else with someone else.....

It just kills me.

[erinwillow]

Oh Beastie, thanks for sharing. . it's just miserable! What's the big deal. . . we bred the ponies or for some, owned them forever, they're like family members. . what's the problem with just a bit of communication twice a year??!!! We're not stalkers. .we just LOVE our ponies. . . . :winkgrin: To be fair, those who did email me were more than happy to share stories, updates, and photos so I thank them all for that. . .but my FAV??? she's disappeared. . . :no:

[dalpal]

I have one for sale right now and I so don't want to do it....BUT, I don't want to do hunters and this girl is going to be someone's jam up hunter. It's not fair to the mare for me to force her into the job that I want her to do when she prefers jumping. If I had my own place and didn't have to pay 625.00 board on her every month, I would probably just keep her.

As a buyer, I can tell you that I often send pictures to the previous owner....that's how I would want to be treated, but no one's ever done that for me. :no:

[BeastieSlave]

I'm about to put Ponybaby up for sale. It will be my first time selling a homebred (she's 9 y.o. :lol:). I've already talked to a BN pony broker and I'm scared to death that I'll lose track of my baby.....

[traceyinojai]

Erinwillow,
Is your pony somewhere where we could possibly find a COTH spy to let you know how she is doing? Hopefully, the people are good owners, just poor communicators. My heart goes out to you.

[evenstar]

from BeastieSlave:
In the last one she told me she gave the pony to her aunt who took her 'out west'.

Maybe she just said that because she figured you'd stop asking about the pony? I hope your pony is doing ok :sadsmile:

To the OP, I don't think you've been going overboard with the contact, and I don't really understand why the owner isn't open to responding, even if with just a quick message. I do understand the point of view of "they bought a horse, not a relationship with the former owner", but it would just be a courtesy to give an update.

A little COTH sneakery does seem in order! :yes:

[erinwillow]

tracey,

oh wow, a COTH spy!!:winkgrin: That actually sounds pretty cool. . . just to be sure. . I really just want to know how she's doing and whether or not the new owners decided to keep her baby (a gorgeous filly foaled last summer named "Riverdance"). Here is the link to my mare (she's the second pony on the page) We sold her to a lovely mother-daughter duo down in Savannah, GA ;)


http://willowrunconnemaras.com/Forsale2.html

[BelladonnaLily]

Yes. And the new owner wanted 3 prices for him to buy him back, so several years later, she still has him. He simply isn't worth what she was asking for him, so while I'd love to have him back in my pasture, I just can't afford to spend that much for sentimental reasons, especially while I have children that want to ride and compete.

[BeastieSlave]

Maybe she just said that because she figured you'd stop asking about the pony? I hope your pony is doing ok :sadsmile:


That's exactly what I thought.... :sigh:

[cu.at.x]

Yes, my first. She was way too much horse for me, so I sold her to a more experienced home. Long story short, the new owner committed suicide a few months later, and my horse was left in the care of her non-horsey husband. I found this out years after the fact, so I had no way of intervening. No idea where the mare is now, but I fear slaughter because she was older, had mental "issues", and iffy soundness. My only consolation was that I recently heard meat buyers don't like to take greys because of the high incidence of melanomas (she was a grey Arab.) God rest her soul.

[DeeThbd]

Now, here's a bit of an odd question.....
How about the involvement of someone who GAVE you a horse? The former owner of my gelding comes to visit unannounced (I know him casually, but not well enough to, say, go for coffee). He's made at least four visits, just to see my boy (and I do have a bill of sale, and DO definitely take good care of him)...it just seems, well, a bit uncomfortable to me. I don't want to be rude to this person - he gave me a LOVELY gelding, but....still. I don\'t get the feeling that he mistrusts my care - he could ask to visit at any time; I am at the point now where this is MY horse (I LOFF him!Q!) so it feels kind of awkward.
Dee

[BeastieSlave]

I think showing up unannounced is something a former owner should not do. No matter how much money was paid - if any - for the beastie. FWIW, calling, e-mailing from time to time, and asking permission to visit, all fall in the range of normal and acceptable behavior IMHO ;)

DeeThbd you need to explain to this guy that while you understand how much the horse means to him, he's yours now, and you don't appreciate his dropping by unannounced. I'd hope you would encourage him to call and set up a time to visit (with plenty of advance notice to suit your schedule)....

[jengersnap]

Personally, I don't like much contact with previous owners, and I generally do not bother those I sell a horse onwards to. I leave it out there as they are welcome to contact me via email or phone. That said, I still have contact back to the first thoroughbred I ever sold. I spent a weekend up with them (4 hrs away) years ago, had a lovely visit, and still email about once or twice a year. That's how they roll.

I'm in near constant contact with the person I have a free lifetime lease with of "my" mare. As far as they are concerned, she's my horse, I make al the calls on her health and care, but she is totally owned by them. It suits us both well, and the couple are the type that I would befriend even if I didn't have their horse. If I had bought the mare, I would still have stayed in contact with them as I enjoy their friendships. They've offered me "my" mare's daughter when she retired from racing, but she didn't suit what I needed at the time so I just broke her to saddle instead and she's done therapy work and now lessons.

I recently sold a mare though that I got from someone who drove me crazy with her communications (thankfully just email as she lost my number). Actually, I'd gotten a horse and a donkey from her, and her communications always were full of possessive pronouns about "her" donkey and "her" mare. Augh! I know someone else with a horse from her as well as a neighbor who'd bought one, and she'd plan these trips in my region to come "check up" on all "her" animals. I finally sold the mare and told her the new owners (stress that word) enjoy her very much. I will not be passing along their contact info. The new owners and I cross paths enough that we exchange plesantries and have hopes to ride together in better weather. To me, that's a nice, amicable and open ended transaction, and I know I can always ask how the mare is doing without feeling as clingy as glad wrap.

I've yet to have a transaction where I have not been invited to make an appointment to visit or be left with a phone number to inquire in the future, and likewise I try never to intrude or be a bother to the new owners. I think it's a happy medium.

[arabhorse2]

People are not required to remain in contact with a previous owner, regardless of that person's intentions.

If the horse was your favorite, it's not the new owner's problem that you sold her. If you love her so much, you probably should have held onto her.

Yes, it would be nice if people kept previous owners informed once or twice a year, but some folks are intensely private and might see your inquiries as intrusive.

I also think a COTH "spy" is a good way to get in trouble legally, and that's a very bad piece of advice. Does the word "stalker" mean anything to any of you?

I'm on both ends of the spectrum, when it comes to previous owners.

Mack's previous owner watched me load him up, and has never once contacted me to see how he's doing. She literally and figuratively washed her hands of him the day I took him home. I could have been a KB for all she knew, and apparently that was fine with her.

Conny's breeder never gave him another thought either, the day he left her farm. In fact, the year he turned 24, his breeder and I were at the same show, and I looked her up to tell her that I'd had him all his life, and he was very much loved. She was supremely uninterested.

Casper's previous owner now, is creepy-scary in that for the first 3 years I had him, she was always trying to find out about him, and even visited him without asking me. When I moved to VA, she had other people contact me under the auspices of finding out how I was, and then just casually asking about Casper. He's my horse, I paid good money for him, and she needs to get over her obssession.

OP, chalk it up to a lesson learned. Not everyone wants to be your buddy when you sell them a horse, and you need to let go.

[LDavis104]

I'm sorry for your heartache :( That said, you really can't expect the new owner to want to talk to you about the horse, she probably loves the horse just as much as you and doesn't want you trying to take him/her back! I wouldn't try contacting her anymore.

[IAPonyGirl]

sold a horse only to later regret it overwhelmingly?? To boot, new owner refuses to return messages :( If I only knew then what I know now *sigh* . . I should never never never have sold her on. . .


~YES!~

[Amchara]

My horse's previous owner lives around the corner and I'm sure that when she rides or walks by (the trail to the beach is just past my house) she pauses for curiosity's sake and makes sure Ami is still standing. Or we see each other in the grocery store and start chatting about our horses.

I tried updating the breeder on her, but I came to realize they just aren't that interested. Told me to let them know if I ever decide to sell her (and I would), but other than that.

[Pretttywaste]

YESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I've sold 2 horses. The first was a mare who although she was very special to me, we could not even pretend to be a match for each other. I held on to her for 4 or 5 years before I worked up the courage to sell her and I have never looked back. I sold her to a very nice family and do hear from them occasionally. I often think of her, and do miss her, but there isn't a hint of regret in selling her. Wish I would have done it years earlier and saved myself a lot of trouble. It was just beyond time for her to move on.

Now the 2nd horse...I got him as somewhat of a rescue. Didn't know what I was gonna do with him... but ended up falling in love with him and keeping him. He was WAY too big for me (17 hands and solid as a bulldog lol, the rest of my horses are 13 and 14 hands haha) and was very high maintenance. I got stuck with thousands of dollars worth of damages from something I had no part in destroying but my name was on the lease so I was responsible. Was also facing possible eviction from my apartment for the same reason. I couldn't afford his expensive feed and shoes and supplements that he needed and was afraid of what would happen if I ended up homeless so I sold him as quickly as I could to what I thought was a good home. Read my sold horse rant for more info. The situation I was in did not turn out as bad as I had originally thought and the BF and I were quickly back on our feet within a month or two. I would give anything to go back in time and hold on to that horse. I'm still secretly plotting ways to buy him back..unfortunately it's just not in the cards right now.

I don't understand how people can sell horses for a living, I get WAY too attached to anything that breathes lol.

[msrobin]

Yes, I have. At the time it seemed to be the right thing. Now I am wishing I had them back. They would all be in their late twenties early thirties now though, I would still take them back.
I have no idea where they are now or even if they are still living it haunts me.