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View Full Version : How to teach husband to require good behavoir from barn dog?



4Martini
Dec. 18, 2008, 10:45 PM
I have a really good dog. My problem is she doesn't listen to my husband at all... He doesn't get why she doesn't respond to whatever command he gives. This dog came trained and knows her commands well - he just seems to refuse to use the words she knows. It's like he's using a thesarus and just choosing any word but the ones she knows... Any tips for training my husband to be consistent with the dog? (He'll invite her to do something and then the next night think exactly the same behavoir is unacceptable and not understand why she is trying to do it.)

When he calls her to go out she totally ignores him and I have to say her name in a stern voice before she will listen to him. Help!

subk
Dec. 18, 2008, 11:21 PM
Something here might help?
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=training+husband&x=0&y=0

Katy9532
Dec. 18, 2008, 11:29 PM
Something here might help?
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=training+husband&x=0&y=0


i have some of those on my wish list!

4Martini
Dec. 18, 2008, 11:53 PM
Thank you! I needed a good laugh!

Simkie
Dec. 18, 2008, 11:56 PM
How about sending them both to obedience class? Perhaps having someone ELSE tell him that he needs to be consistent with the dog would be more effective than you telling him the same thing?

I must say, training the dogs is much easier now that I live alone :lol:

threedogpack
Dec. 18, 2008, 11:58 PM
My problem is she doesn't listen to my husband


this is NOT your problem. This is his problem.

Does she listen to you?

If so here is your mantra:

If you want what I have, you must do what I do.

You cannot control the behavior of others. Don't even try. Build the relationship you have with the dog and let him build (or not maybe) his own.

ReSomething
Dec. 19, 2008, 01:20 PM
How about sending them both to obedience class? Perhaps having someone ELSE tell him that he needs to be consistent with the dog would be more effective than you telling him the same thing? . . .




Ditto.

Peggy
Dec. 19, 2008, 02:22 PM
Ditto.Double ditto on the obedience class. A friend of my mom's actually did this to her husband--the dog was well-trained but she thought the discipline and exercise would be good for her DH. If obedience sounds too boring to him and the dog is well-trained, maybe something sexier-sounding, like intro to agility, if they have such a thing and it would be appropriate for this pair.

Jennifer Alcott
Dec. 19, 2008, 04:21 PM
I have a really good dog. My problem is she doesn't listen to my husband at all... He doesn't get why she doesn't respond to whatever command he gives. This dog came trained and knows her commands well - he just seems to refuse to use the words she knows. It's like he's using a thesarus and just choosing any word but the ones she knows... Any tips for training my husband to be consistent with the dog? ...

I highly recommend a shock collar.

On the husband.

It worked for me! :D

Rhyadawn
Dec. 19, 2008, 04:40 PM
I highly recommend a shock collar.

On the husband.

It worked for me! :D

LOL!

seriously though, this is his issue. The dog doesn't see him as being higher in the pack structure therefor she doesn't listen. Obedience classes would be a great place to start

Sing Mia Song
Dec. 20, 2008, 11:41 AM
I've gotta say, this sounds comparable to "What's wrong with my car? I can drive it when I turn the key and work the pedals. But my spouse doesn't want to turn the key, he just wants to work the pedals. But it won't go for him. I have to turn the key to get it to listen to him. What should I do?" :winkgrin:

I'd say let him struggle and let the dog continue to ignore him until he starts using the right cues. She's training him just fine.

One thing after re-reading your post--what sort of things does he allow her to do and then not allow her to do? Can you give an example?

4Martini
Dec. 20, 2008, 03:05 PM
Thanks everyone! I agree it's his issue - BUT I would prefer the dog think ALL humans are higher in the pack than her. Just in case a mini-Martini (okay a Shirley Temple) shows up one day. And she can be bad around guests sometimes- not biting, just excited puppy behavior that non-dog people don't appreciate (she's just under 2 years - so not a tiny puppy.) So it's the bigger ramifications of her not listening to him that bugs me. (Oh and when I have to get off the couch at night to let her out when she woln't listen to him - I know super lazy- but some days a girl needs to crash. Both of them seem to give it a half harted go and then give up and look at me... Maybe they are really training me???)

Mr. Martini works really hard and is doing an evening MBA program so I don't think I could convince him to add an obedience class to his schedule - and he thinks the dog is trained - just doesn't get why she doesn't listen to him. At least he's gotten to the point where he asks why doesn't she listen to me? She listens to you. But when I tell him why he doesn't change anything.

As far as what he lets her do - it's things like sitting with her nose 4" from his plate when he's eating on the couch and not caring one day and getting mad the next day. Just stuff that I think confuses the poor dog! And frustrates him when she doesn't listen...

His old dog (who passed away at 18 last year) just totally doted on him and did whatever he said at any given time - but he'd had her for 15 years and she was a total angel. The puppy just doesn't seem to be able to figure it out so she tunes out to him. I just want to make it easier on both of them!

Am I overthinking this too much?

goodhors
Dec. 20, 2008, 11:00 PM
Maybe watching some of those dog training tapes or programs about problem dogs on TV? Most of them repeat CONSISTANCY over and over, to make the dog understand what the people want of her! Point out people being inconsistant as you mention, sitting close is fine on Monday, but irks him on Tuesday, dog doesn't know why that is so! The "name folks" train the people who then are able to work with their troublesome dogs and get to a point of understanding with consistant commands, reward and discipline.

A dog book, done simply, which repeats consistancy. Dog Training For Dummies? The whole series of Dummy books has had good basics in the ones I have seen. A person starting from scratch reaches an understanding by using them for their needs.

Sounds silly, but training dog consistantly, looking at his behaviour as the trainer, will hopefully transfer to working with small people, the miniMartini you mentioned. People expect way too much from small children and they can't cooperate because of age and development of the body and brain. Potty training can be a huge issue, child doesn't understand or is physically incapable of being toilet trained at that time. Husband would need to look at what HE is doing, child or dog's capability to deliver correct results, consistancy in training methods, before he can expect good, consistant results from a child or the dog. Training takes time and work to get good results.

Our puppy is about 10 months, kind of a wild child because EVERYTHING is SO EXCITING! She runs and leaps, tags you, rolls at your feet. Just has very little self control yet. Can be difficult to deal with at 70 pounds careening around you, bumping into you, leaping in the air. Much improved in the house, walking on a leash, acts mostly civil! Just quivering with excitement, but trying very hard to behave, for which we praise her a LOT! Coming along, but just a slow developing breed, very puppylike until about 2yrs. You praise where you can, correct where needed, and the whole family tries to work her the same. Sometimes just laying your hand on her helps settle her, other times it doesn't. My husband has learned how to do this, but it took a while, years. Seeing various new dogs respond to me, ignore him when he didn't ask correctly. Then they do cooperate when he is consistant! He has improved his dog knowledge over the years, even has this one fetching a bit! We praise HIM for that, she wouldn't fetch for me!!

Spoils the guys when they start with a older, WELL trained dog who just does what you tell them. I had such a dog when we got married, that dog has reached Legend status now. Lassie wasn't even close to as obedient or smart!!

EqTrainer
Dec. 20, 2008, 11:25 PM
OMG... Mr. EqT does this and seriously, it makes me want to slap him silly.

It's a dog. Say the words it knows. Don't babble in French.

This really makes me crazy. 9 years later, he's still doing it.

The saintly Bisous just ignored him.. that dog was so smart!

threedogpack
Dec. 21, 2008, 07:24 PM
"BUT I would prefer the dog think ALL humans are higher in the pack than her. "

You can't control what she thinks, you can only control how you interact with her.

This isn't about pack rank, but about his choice in how to deal (or not) with her behavior.

It would be a rank issue if she were on the couch and told him he wasn't allowed on. Or the bed, or out the door, or in the door. But this is simple cost/benefit behavior. The cost of listening to him is not worth the small benefit she will get out of it and it sounds like he is not unhappy.

username
Dec. 27, 2008, 01:56 AM
we have always had similar issues. all I can say is good luck to you. Himself cannot be guided simply because he doesn't see the animal's behavior as an issue. ANY of the animals!

I could rent him out by the minute as a FEI-level animal behavior destroyer! for some reason it only takes him a few minutes to demolish years of patient, sensible training.

does anyone know of a Husband Whisperer?