Oh NO! Joey Starbuck's been ARRESTED and is in JAIL! [Archive]

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:37 PM

His mug shot is below.

His crime? Breaking and entering. Tomorrow I should have the police photographs of his crime...but as of right now, we only have the police blotter to go by:

On Sunday, December 7, 2008 at approximately 7:04 a.m., officers from the Melmont Sport Horse Farm Division were dispatched to 28XXX Mine Run Road, a horse farm located within Orange County, Virginia, in regards to a suspected breaking and entering. The preliminary investigation revealed that one section of three board fence, in its early twenties, had been broken in half. One board was broken in the middle, and was transported to the burn pile via personal vehicle. It was reported DOA upon arival, as were subsequent boards in the section.

A second, third, fourth and fifth section, located at the scene, was broken in the middle, top, bottom, and middle, respectively. They are in critical condition and currently undergoing carpentry.

Officers from Melmont Sport Horse Farm Division (MSHFD) and detectives from the Violent Crimes against Board Fences Unit (VCABFU) also responded to the scene to assist in the investigation. Officers and detectives arrested a JOEY STARBUCK, a four year old equine, who refused to answer any questions regarding the crime. Witnesses, however, are being questioned.

Currently Mr. Starbuck is being held in a maximum security area, under suicide watch, with a 24-hour guard, and dangerously-high electrical fencing.
Please, fellow CoTHers, I need to raise bail (the Joey Starbuck Legal Defence fund has been started) to get him out. The judge, at his arraignment, said he was going to have to do community service, repairing public fences :eek:... and he doesn't even know how to use a hammer!

Anyone else been there???? Any place you can recommend for rehab?

Oh, the shame of it all. A criminal in the family...

mpack

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:42 PM

LOL!!!!

Sakura

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:43 PM

:lol:

Maybeapril

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:46 PM

So, funny it made me smile on this gloomy day!

Ibex

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:46 PM

:lol::lol::lol:

That's ok.... my 3yo mare developed a habbit of sneaking out to go to the mall. (Ok, she went visiting the TB fillies in the next field and they were having a wonderful gallop when we caught up with her. I guess they're more fun than the mature mares she's turned out with??)

Tiffani B

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:47 PM

I think his crime was actually breaking and EXITING? LOL!!!

Very cute...

lorik

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:50 PM

It's 'tough love', but I think Mr. Joey Starbuck committed the crime and must do the time.:yes: That being said, I'll send him a carrot cake with a saw inside (but then if he can't use a hammer, he probably can't use a saw either). :D

00Jumper

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:51 PM

Just remember, when he goes to trial, if the shoe don't fit, you must acquit. :winkgrin:

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:52 PM

00Jumper

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:56 PM

Yes, but do you all realize he destroyed FIVE sections of fence!!! FIVE FIVE FIVE ... I bet that's almost 1/4 mile of fence. FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS! FIVE SECTIONS!

<KT swoons>

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO COST TO FIX??????

<KT swoons, AGAIN.>

It's actually sort of impressive that he destroyed that much fencing. I mean, it's almost like he had to think to himself "HMMMM today I think I'm going to break a lot of fencing! Sounds like a plan!" :lol:

RiverBendPol

Dec. 9, 2008, 01:57 PM

It appears that Joey Starbuck could benefit from the installation of electronic parameters.......

Sakura

Dec. 9, 2008, 02:18 PM

It's actually sort of impressive that he destroyed that much fencing. I mean, it's almost like he had to think to himself "HMMMM today I think I'm going to break a lot of fencing! Sounds like a plan!" :lol:

You haven't seen OM's fencing... I hear Noah used left over wood from the ark to put it up :lol:.

macmtn

Dec. 9, 2008, 02:37 PM

oh-boys just play rough with their toys...

quote "Just remember, when he goes to trial, if the shoe don't fit, you must acquit. :winkgrin: "

**snork**... I now need a new keyboard as this one is covered in Limeaid:lol:

Equibrit

Dec. 9, 2008, 03:13 PM

He needs to go on the chain gang!

Proud To Be Spotted

Dec. 9, 2008, 03:33 PM

Well.....the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, No wait on the other side of that section, or maybe on the other side of that section.........

4whitefeet

Dec. 9, 2008, 04:29 PM

If they make him wear B/W striped jail clothing, will that make him a zebra??? :lol:

Laytian

Dec. 9, 2008, 05:54 PM

Hire him out to a demolition crew until he earns enough to cover his damages. :winkgrin:

Anybody need a fence taken down? :cool:

yaya

Dec. 9, 2008, 06:06 PM

Was he trying to do the weave poles?

weaveweaveweaveweaveweave

Trevelyan96

Dec. 9, 2008, 06:11 PM

So I guess that makes him a Section Five offender. :cool:

Starda01

Dec. 9, 2008, 06:23 PM

In Mr. Joey's defense, although what he did was a grave error in his ways, it has made me smile on a day when smiles were hard to come by. :winkgrin::winkgrin::D:D:D:D:yes::yes::yes:

Therefore, I hope the jury will request time served and restitution for his offences:lol:

Tazer

Dec. 9, 2008, 08:08 PM

He must have seen the section on pole bending, and was just trying to set up some poles, and those pesky boards were in his darn way.

Sounds like he will make a nice gymkhana horse.

You could enter him in the Pole Bending, the Barrel Squash, Cloverleaf Board Bash, and at the end of the day, he can be dressed up as a convict for the costume class :lol:

Now repeat until you calm down:

I LOVE MY HORSE...I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE...I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE...I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE...I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE...I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE...I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE... I LOVE MY HORSE...

Tiempo

Dec. 9, 2008, 08:37 PM

Must be a crime wave..perhaps a cross-country crime syndicate.

In the pre-dawn hours of Dec 7th 2008, Shaq's Black Tie Affair, AKA "Tucker" was aprehended on a public thoroughfare while stalking a local man who was heading out on foot to hunt deer.

The accused - a young, black male, allowed himself to be restrained willingly, and on his return home it was discovered that he had wontonly destroyed a 12 foot section of fence, allowing two more members of his gang to roam publicly.

Hours later, the light of day revealed to investigators the true extent of "Tucker's" crime via extensive footprints in the freshly fallen snow that proved the defendant guilty of trespassing on (and brazenly defiling with excrement) the properties of at least 3 neighbors.

Charges are pending. :mad:

HorsesinHaiti

Dec. 9, 2008, 08:53 PM

Therefore, I hope the jury will request time served and restitution for his offences:lol:

GROAN boo hiss! That was a Good BAADD pun!

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 9, 2008, 08:58 PM

If he needs a good lawyer...like, I'm practicing. That is, I'm practicing TO BE a lawyer. But if I win, this would look really cool on my application to law school.

I could like, defend him, pro bono!

Delaneythehorsegirl

Dec. 9, 2008, 10:11 PM

:lol: That made my day!

mademoiselle

Dec. 9, 2008, 10:41 PM

:lol:

equinelaw

Dec. 9, 2008, 10:44 PM

I am willing to defend this poor, misunderstood horse pro bono. I am sure he is innocent!:eek::winkgrin:

msrobin

Dec. 9, 2008, 10:55 PM

I think Mr. Starbucks needs a good time out. Then some community service once he is released. Bad bad horse. :)

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 10, 2008, 06:51 AM

Thank you, everyone, for your contribution. By the time I got home last night, I realized that this Juvinile Deliquent's reign of terror wasn't over. He had actually CHEWED to bits the handle of the hotwire gate.

I understand the officers of MSHFD are considering using tasers—and a telegram has been sent to Indiana Jones asking if he is available for discipline (think bull whip.) The Discipline (note the capital D) subject has, of course, provoked many calls from Dominatrixes...but I don't think these types of visitors are allowed in stir.

Tiempo, it does sound like this could be more of the same issue. Have you retained council? Any thoughts on strategy? It also sounds like you've got some trespassing charges going too.

Equine law, thank you for your offer, I accept. We'll need to get together shortly for the initial interview, and of course, I think it best that we move for a change of venue—his behaviour is too well known locally to get a fair trial. You don't need to do this pro bono though—you can paid from the Joey Starbuck Legal Defence Fund. It has a current balance of $0.78. Is that enough?

P.S. Hey Ted, maybe Equine Law would let you be second chair. After all, you DO have a unique perspective on the crime...we could even pay you in peeps! How does that sound?

equinelaw

Dec. 10, 2008, 07:30 AM

Mags

Dec. 10, 2008, 07:44 AM

Mine is still in four-strand high security solitary confinement.

Crime: showing her girl friend how green the grass is on the other side of the fence (three days in a row). Then jumping over the (fixed) two-strand hot tape fence to make sure the grass was still greener on the other side (two additional days in a row).

No amount of bail will release her. The only hope for pardon is that wardens husband will forgive the fertilization of his manicured lawns and gardens.

ybiaw

Dec. 10, 2008, 09:12 AM

Man, when I saw this thread yesterday morning with all that has been going on in IL news, the first thought that came into my head was "Since when has Rod Blagojevich used "Johnny Starbuck" as an alias?"

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Reds-n-Greys

Dec. 10, 2008, 09:23 AM

I think Mr. Starbucks needs a good time out. :)

I *think* he already had that and that's why he's in trouble! :D

Hazelnut

Dec. 10, 2008, 09:32 AM

I *think* he already had that and that's why he's in trouble! :D

I think you're right, this horse knows how to enjoy "time out". :p Perhaps other more effective disciplinary measures must be employed...OR maybe he needs his tail washed? ;)

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 10, 2008, 10:27 AM

Thanks for the kind offer, but as the poor horse is in VA I cannot accept payment. It costs $250 to go pro hoc viche in VA, so pro bono is much cheaper then actually getting paid.

If we bring in Ted too that's another $250. Plus his German accent might not appeal to a VA jury?

I was thinking of using the standard Atticus Finch defense. We throw that ball at Joey and when he doesn't catch it, the jury will know he could not be to blame. He has no hands!

When asked for a guilty plea the jury will all vote Neigh!:) Then we all run like hell..... :winkgrin:

I always thought Animal Law would be much easier if there were no humans involved.

Hey - NO GERMAN ACCENT HERE!!! Mom was from Illinois (but no connection to the current governor!) and Dad from Kentucky. Generations, I mean GENERATIONS!! before that they came from Great Britain, and generations before that Saudi Arabia, the cradle of TB civilization. I am as American as ...peeps!!

And I said I would do it pro bono. In non-legalize (because I have been studying for my LSATs) that means FOR FREE. (This way if we lose I don't get yelled at.)

equinelaw

Dec. 10, 2008, 10:33 AM

Hey - NO GERMAN ACCENT HERE!!! Mom was from Illinois (but no connection to the current governor!) and Dad from Kentucky. Generations, I mean GENERATIONS!! before that they came from Great Britain, and generations before that Saudi Arabia, the cradle of TB civilization. I am as American as ...peeps!!

And I said I would do it pro bono. In non-legalize (because I have been studying for my LSATs) that means FOR FREE. (This way if we lose I don't get yelled at.)

I'm sorry Ted, I thought you were a warm blood. You need to study just a little bit harder because the LSAT doesn't actually have any law or legal terms in it. Just crap about if Ted has nine peeps and must fly on a plane to VA before 7am but after War Asian flys at 6am but before the shipment of Peeps is loaded at 8am which seat would he be assigned and how many horsepower is the left Jet engine?

What ideas do you ave for Joeys defense?

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 10, 2008, 10:48 AM

What ideas do you ave for Joeys defense?

Joey has NO defense. None. Nada. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

I think the only way he's going to come out of this even SEMI-alive is to throw himself on the mercy of the court.

Hmmmmm. Maybe we could work something out with Rod Blagojevich...maybe he could sell us a judgeship for Ted.

(Psssst. Ted. How many peeps do you want to spring Joey?)

equinelaw

Dec. 10, 2008, 10:59 AM

[QUOTE=Oldenburg Mom;3716653]Joey has NO defense. None. Nada. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

I think the only way he's going to come out of this even SEMI-alive is to throw himself on the mercy of the court.

Hmmmmm. Maybe we could work something out with Rod Blagojevich...maybe he could sell us a judgeship for Ted.

(Psssst. Ted. How many peeps do you want to spring Joey?) [/QUOTE

Untrue! No witnesses, no confession, no DNA. . .its all circumstantial based simply on he fact he was in the area at the time of the crime! He even has an alibi. A young Palomino filly has stepped forward and admitted that even though she is pledged to be bred to a QH stallion, she and Joey were far from the fence nibbling grass and each others shoulders until moments before he police arrived!

maybe the stallion found out and HE broke the fence looking for Joey? Maybe the filly broke the fence in her hurry to escape detection? And how else would the filly get into to see Joey?? HmmmMMMMMmmm?

Joey has been framed!:eek:

wateryglen

Dec. 10, 2008, 11:24 AM

Well my take on this is that the name Joey Starbucks sounds like a mafia HIT mans name!!! :winkgrin: Right from the Soprano's don't ya think? Get it? HIT man??!!! :D
Or.....Joey Starbucks is a character from Battlestar Gallactica?!!! :D:lol: Maybe he got a little carried away using his laser cannon that night! !!! :eek:

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 10, 2008, 11:46 AM

Sounds like I am going to have as much trouble on my LSATs as my mom did on her SATs. She has no attention span for things like that, she told me she scribbled on the test things like, "This exam is sexist. In all math questions, the girls are measuring out ingredients for cooking, and the boys are testing hot rods in races." She did not get any extra points for discernment or creativity.

I am going to have to get great letters of recommendation that address things like, "Does the applicant's grades reflect their abilities?" There are a lot of lawyers on this board. Maybe I can intern for some of them. I promise no happy bucks in the cubicles. (Or anything else. Just show me where the empty stall is, put in some shavings, and I'll go in there, I promise. One time after a lesson, my mom and our trainer were yakking and she had let me go outside to graze by the pond and all of a sudden they heard my hooves on concrete but didn't see me - because I came in through the open doors of the tack room, straight into an empty stall, peed, and then went right back out to graze, so you see, I know better than to go just anywhere.)

I know Joey is innocent. I strongly suspect a dog, or maybe a cougar or mountain lion, forced him to flee for his life, and then disappeared. So you see, it was really self defense. Just because they can't find the potential murder weapon (the cougar, maybe a puma?) doesn't mean that Joey wasn't threatened and had to be forced to break through the fence to save his life. Fence breaking scares cougars and tigers and things like that. Doesn't scare coyotes though.

equinelaw

Dec. 10, 2008, 12:24 PM

Hmmmm.. ..so no crime because of necessity or duress. Interesting. Ted,clearly you will have to take lead as poor poor Joey is already being maligned just due to his name. As an equine American, you should be better able to explain that its not this real name--just the horse name his master gave him. His real name is Angel Heaven Kitten Sweetums.

You should do very well on the LSATs, since most lawyers I have met are at least half a horse, you being in possession of a horse's front end should make you double good at it! With more then half of law schools teaching some form on animal law, I think the new diversity wanted at the nations law school is increases applicants from other species. If you can just stomp your name on the answer sheet you should have a lock on a scholarship and a seat at any law school you want.

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 10, 2008, 12:37 PM

I can do better than stomp, I'll learn how to use a pen or pencil with my muzzle.

And I don't speak much...I would mostly stare down the jury with the occasional whinny.

I think we should countersue for the trauma this has caused Joey Sweetums (Starbucks is simply his adopted name, if he had married into the Starbucks family he wouldn't have to go pro bono). I think about $18 trill should cover it (don't tell, but we'll settle for a bale of hay and a case of peeps. Ssshhhh).

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 10, 2008, 12:49 PM

His real name is Angel Heaven Kitten Sweetums.

URRRRGGGGGGLLLLLL...cough cough cough scccccccccgggggkkkkkggkkggggg. ack kack ack kack

I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO I DON'T THINK SO

This this CRIMINAL actually plowed through SOLID PRICKER BUSHES to squeeze out an exceptionately small, narrow opening in the fence, just so he could wander around the farm.

THIS CRIMINAL, once escaped from the 30+stall boarding barn where he was being kept, and wandered around and ate everyone's SUPPLEMENTS.

THIS THIS THIS ... DEVIL has escaped from Devon (and was found moseying around the barns scrounging for food) and from every single barn he's ever been kept in.

The last place he was kept they SWORE he was jumping a four-foot fence just to get to the grass on the other side.

<KT collapses, stiff as a board. Yes, she's DEAD from the shock of anyone ever suggesting this ... EQUINE ... could EVER be mistaken for ... Angel Heaven Kitten Sweetums.>

equinelaw

Dec. 10, 2008, 01:05 PM

All alleged crimes. Got any convictions? Sounds like libel to me and maybe my client should now sue for defamation too.

Its not his fault he has a gangster label. His true nature is all innocent and he is clearly being profiled just for being an Equine American with a "y" on the end of his alleged name. Ad that to the already publicly admitted false imprisonment and the intentional infliction of emotional distress?

Oh yeah, Angel's gonna own the farm soon:)

Now I will have to alert the Mods to this smear campaign on a public BB tha names names with no supporting evidence.

And we have added Mr. Ed to the legal team. After his 6 years as a prisoner in some guys garage he is world famous for making jurors cry and getting treble damages.

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 10, 2008, 01:17 PM

This is not Oldenburg Mom, this is Dr. Moore, here at the emergency room of the hospital (since there are lawyers present, regretfully, I cannot tell you which hospital.)

I'm sorry to say that Ms. Mom has yet to regain consciousness and that her condition is quite serious. We did have to use "the paddles" to resuscitate her, which she tolerated well. She is currently heavily sedated as she kept making strange choking sounds, muttering—sometimes rather loudly actually—Angel .... then, Sweetums. Her eyes would roll back in her head, and there was a distinct gurgle heard.

I must caution you that any more threats or suggestions of libel, may prove fatal to this fine young (ahem!) lady.

signed:

Dr. Edward R. Moore, MD.

equinelaw

Dec. 10, 2008, 01:26 PM

Please do not be concerned. We can just sue her estate.

Can you make an appointment for a Mr. A H K Sweetums in the psychiatric ward? All this ruination of his fine and well respected good name has caused some serious psychological damage to his tender emotional state. We'll need to document these emotional damages ASAP.

And please make sure the kitchen sends carrots and no Jello. Jello could really send him over the edge. he knows.... .

Oh, and send the bill to either Oldenburg Mom or her estate as appropriate.

Thanks,

very truly yours,

A H K Sweetums Attoney

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 10, 2008, 01:30 PM

When we go through the estate I get to raid the sweets closet, okay?

Lawyers can do that, right?

And how do we know there wasn't ALREADY a hole in the fence? I think she may be wrongfully accusing our client when in fact someone else did the damage. Could have been a storm. Lots of storms around these parts. Just because the accuser doesn't have the insurance to fix the fence because the insurance won't cover acts of nature is no reason to set up poor Joey Sweetums for the fall.

2DogsFarm

Dec. 10, 2008, 02:01 PM

Is there any possibility Joey AngelPuddin'SweetumsMyPrettyPony has any TWH blood in his lines?
If so may I offer the Genetic Defect Defense?

DH's TWH (Buddy in my Profile pic) was a convicted Fence Terminator.

He invented the famous PVC Popout technique that allowed him to free himself from the 4-board fence by leaning on the top rail until it popped out then jumping neatly over the remaining 3 rails - a height of some 2'6" - while Vernon, a law-abiding, fence-respecting horse (who I had jumped 4' U/S) looked on in horror.

At another barn Buddy was the only horse contained with a padlock on his Dutch door after he not only freed himself but let 3 young stallions out of their paddock to join him in a nature walk.

Buddy also pioneered the Tensile Wire Limbo, used to escape the Geldings Only pasture and join the Mare herd in the adjoining field.
(why the mares welcomed him instead of kicking him into the next Life is still a mystery)

I hope this can be of some help

FREE JOEY!!!!!

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 10, 2008, 02:37 PM

We can do genetics too! Let's get some PCR done on cheek scrapings from everyone. For all we know, the accusor has TWH in her blood too...we can't rule out anything just yet.

Ponyaddict

Dec. 10, 2008, 04:21 PM

Well, if I could chime in for a minute, I'm joining the "Free Joey" group. I think he's being framed and really he's an innocent bystander in all of these alleged crimes!

allpurpose

Dec. 10, 2008, 06:09 PM

Ya'll ain't right in the head...:no::no:

Tiempo

Dec. 10, 2008, 06:30 PM

Well, if I could chime in for a minute, I'm joining the "Free Joey" group. I think he's being framed and really he's an innocent bystander in all of these alleged crimes!

I agree.

I think Tucker came over and did it while he was on the lam.

He broke out again this morning...with 8kv running through. :mad:

Sansena

Dec. 10, 2008, 06:32 PM

I was wondering when Janie Starbuck had a son named Joey???

Prince Harry

Dec. 10, 2008, 06:40 PM

I could issue him a Royal pardon absolving him of any alleged wrongdoing. You must free Joey Sweetums or face the wrath of the royal court. Prince Harry the Bay has spoken. I know that boards mysteriously fall down in my pasture all the time. The field gremlins do it all the time and blame it on us horses.

By order of the Royal Court I decree that Joey Sweetums must be freed.

Tazer

Dec. 10, 2008, 07:45 PM

you all should be suing Universal Studies and leaving this poor widdle sweet pony alone!

http://www.jurassicpark.com/maingate_flash.html

Daisey-Bogie

Dec. 10, 2008, 08:44 PM

I think mine is related. the same day. She didn't open the door, she remove the door from the hinges and was no where to be found. when she came back she acted like nothing happened. she's a repeat offender, so off to the work house, but she still blames the other one, she neighing innocent.

hedmbl

Dec. 10, 2008, 09:56 PM

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Okay I stopped by the COTH BB for a quick 10 min unwind before diving back into my nuero notes for my final tomorrow and found this!

Thanks for the laugh! I needed it tonight!! :lol::):D

PS: I'm in the free Joey group!

Sansena

Dec. 11, 2008, 06:32 AM

:lol ...PS: I'm in the free Joey group!

Sounds like he can handle that all by himself!

Tiempo

Dec. 11, 2008, 09:36 AM

Sounds like he can handle that all by himself!

:yes: :lol::lol::lol:

Vandy

Dec. 11, 2008, 10:15 AM

Agree that it sounds like a nationwide crime spree. Just two nights ago, Rocky "Cocky" Miller escaped from a locked stall, and vandalized a great deal of property without even leaving the barn aisle. He was captured in the midst of a conjugal visit with the two mares at the end of the aisle, despite his lack of manly parts. The worst destruction occurred in the wash stall, where Cocky blatently ignored the posted sign to "Clean up after yourself", not only strewing brushes and sponges all over the floor, but defecating profusely atop them.

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Dec. 11, 2008, 11:52 AM

Can I chime in with a theory? Is it possible that aliens are abducting our horses, and brainwashing them to create this havoc so we will be so busy with fixing fencelines that that will give the aliens extra time to take over the earth?

Or can it be that aliens are also horses and want to free their fellow equines?

Does anyone see any strange circular patterns in the paddocks that can be viewed from above?

Hazelnut

Dec. 11, 2008, 12:26 PM

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 11, 2008, 02:03 PM

This is not Oldenburg Mom, this is Dr. Moore.

Well, she's somewhat improved today, however, I am not allowing her to read this thread for fear of another serious attack on her health.

She DID want me to announce to you today, however, that she has retained council specifically to respond to the alarming threats of Ms. (or Mr.) EQUINELAW. Ms. Equinelaw had better look out as she is about to be served with some really NASTY blue backs, specifically I believe they are Cease and Desist orders from the Virginia Supreme Court, (they're taking a PERSONAL interest in this case). I have also heard that the FBI has been asked to lend a hand for his/her arrest.

Additionally, there is no room in psychiatric ward for the well known faker and malingerer, JOEY STARBUCK, leader of the National Equine Escape Gangs United (NEEGU). What's more, I understand that when he was told of Ms. Equinelaw's attempt (Angel Heaven Kitten Sweetums) to devise the true name of Mr. Starbuck (whose real name, BTW, is Evil Escape Critter from Hell—it's tatooed on his butt ... he's called EECH for short) he merely bucked and farted a few times (in Ms. EQUINELAW'S direction), then broke down another section of fence.

I'm sure Ms. Mom will be able to respond herself in a few days. In the meantime, we are keeping Mr. EECH incommunicado.

Signed,
Dr. Edward R. Moore, MD.

monstrpony

Dec. 11, 2008, 02:26 PM

Ya'll ain't right in the head...:no::no:

And hence the presence of Dr. Moore

(you JUST figured that out?? :confused:)

Prince Harry

Dec. 11, 2008, 02:36 PM

Sounds like they are holding him in solitary confinement. That is cruel and unusual punishment I think. Ted... Equinelaw back me up on this one. They are completely ignoring my royal decree for Joey's freedom.

Has the pasture been sprayed for the fence eating gremlins yet?? I think not... I bet you haven't even checked. :no: Joey must be freed before he sustains any more mental damage from his undue punishment. Has CSI been called? Do you have DNA proof that is is Joey who did these crimes? Any stray hairs on the fence that match with Sweetums fur. I bet you don't.. FREE JOEY SWEETUMS!!!! OJ got off with more evidence against him you got nothin on Joey..... Maybe I can bake him some carrot cake with a file in it.. yeah... Joey does get vistation right???

horse-loverz

Dec. 11, 2008, 08:23 PM

FREE JOEY STARBUCK'S!!!!!!

____(I'm innocent... innocent I tell ya.... where's my one phone call??)
________________
_____|||||<\|||||
_____||||'|||'||||
_____||||||||||||

equinelaw

Dec. 11, 2008, 08:48 PM

Sorry, as Sweetums lawyer I can say whatever I need to help this fine Equine American get justice. No court order can stop me from doing all within my leagl super powers to free Angel!!

Come and get me VA! I went to law school in VA and you taught me how to stand up for he rights of all citizens!!! Oh, and VA, I'll bet you still practice eugenics and allowed this upstanding innocent Equine American to be sterilized because he didn't meet your standards for perfection? HhhhMMMMM?

Ready to go back to the supreme court over that small detail you left out???

AKS Aka "Joey" will be speaking live on 2020 tomorrow night. His only crime was standing in a field while equine when a crime took place in a 2 mile radius. For shame.:no:

he will not only be freed, he will be well compensated for this abuse of power!!!! These other examples of freedom fighting horses are not part of a crime spree. They are a demonstration of solidarity for the horrible injustice committed against Equine Americans everywhere!

Reynard Ridge

Dec. 12, 2008, 03:48 AM

FREE JOEY STARBUCK'S!!!!!!

____(I'm innocent... innocent I tell ya.... where's my one phone call??)
________________
_____|||||<\|||||
_____||||'|||'||||
_____||||||||||||

:lol::lol::lol:

Alas, poor Joey. For the want of an opposable thumb, the phone call was lost. :no:

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Dec. 12, 2008, 10:12 AM

I dunno. He could have used his muzzle...unless...I wonder if the heinous Ms Mom also muzzled poor Sweetums Nookums Baby Yum Yum? For shame!

horse-loverz

Dec. 12, 2008, 02:34 PM

__________________________________________________ _______________
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___|
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___|

____~_______
_____//__\\_V
"""_________""_________________""_________""___________''____

Sweetums: There I was minding my own business in the pasture grazing on the winter grass.... giving utmost respect to the fenceline.....s

__________________________________________________ _______________
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___|
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___|
__________!
____~____/>
_____//__\\_
"""_________""_________________""_________""___________''

Sweetums: When all of a sudden I heard a noise....._

__________________________________________________ _______________
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___|
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___

__________!__________:mad:
____~____/>__________|-/'
_____//__\\___________/\
"""_________""_________________""_________""___________''

Sweetums: I looked up and there was a Child in my pasture.. I mean WWYD?? So I calmly walked over to her to tell her I wasn't allowed any visitors in my pasture and to please leave me alone because I am a good boy and don't want to get in trouble... But then I noticed the hammer......

______________________________/\
______________________________:mad:/
______________________________|___________________ _______________
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___|
____|____|_____|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|_ __|____|____|___

_______________!____:mad:
_________~____/o>___|-/'
__________//__\\_____/\
"""_________""_________________""_________""___________''

Sweetums: What are you going to do with THAT I asked the obviously troubled child

Evil Devil Spawn child: I am going to tear down your fence and frame you for the crime..

Sweetums: OH NOOO Not my fence..But it wasn't over.... she had a friend...It was a lady dressed as a red crayon... screaming FREE KADE!!! I WILL BE AVENDGED!!!! I didn't know what to do!!! I was agasted!!

______________________________/\
______________________________:mad:
_____________:mad:_______________|-\____________________________
____|____|__\-||____|___|___|__/\.|____|____|____|___|____|____|
____|____|___/\|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|___|____|____|

_______________!____
_________\____/o>___
_______oo//__\\_____
"""_________""_________________""_________""___________''

Sweetums: I am ashamed to say that I was so scared I lost controll of my bodily functions... I tried to get them to stop.. watching them destory my beautiful fence.. but the terror was not over...

______________________________:yes:
_____________:yes:_______________|-\____________________________
____|____|__\-||____|___|___|__/\.|____|____|____|___|____|____|
____|____|___/\|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|___|____|____|_ __
_________________________________:cool:
_________________________________|-~<\____~
_______________________________._/\___//__\\
___________________
________~____/`>___
_______oo//__\\_____
"""_________""_________________""_________""___________''

Sweetums: Then a guy named Facinated showed up with his awsum stallyun and ran him around to further make it look like I did the damage... I couldn't believe it!!!

_____________________________
______________+_______________|-\____________________________
____|____|__\-||____|___|___|__/\.|____|____|____|___|____|____|
____|____|___/\|____|___|___|____|____|____|____|___|____|____|_ __
_________________________________
______________________:eek:>__________
______________________|________.
______________________/\
_________~____/'>___
_______o_o//__\\_____
"""_________""_________________""_________""___________''

Sweetums: Then mom came out and saw the mess.... I tried to tell her it wasn't me but she wouldn't hear of it.... She said a few cross words and then....

______________
_____|||||/>|||
_____||||'||'|||
_____||||||||||

Sweetums: It was the slammer for me.. stuck in my 12x12 prison..with only my water buckets for company.. cut off from the rest of the herd in solitary confinement... DARN YOU CRAYON LADY DARN YOU CHILD IN PASTURE AND DARN YOU FACINATED!!!!!! I'm Innocent (http://s170.photobucket.com/albums/u274/horse-loverz/?action=view&current=cropangelharry-1.jpg)... Innocent I tell ya!!!

**As a side note Prince Harry posed for the innocent pic.... he thought it would be great for effect...***
___

BAC

Dec. 12, 2008, 02:58 PM

Horse-loverz, you are so creative, I love it, the stick art is wonderful. :D

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Dec. 12, 2008, 04:48 PM

H-L - the only thing you left out is that there are rumors that Snookums Kittycat Sweetums Greatest Pony Of All Time is going to be sent to do hard time at Sarah Stettner's Training Camp...

cloudyandcallie

Dec. 12, 2008, 04:51 PM

He's a juvenile, for God's sake! He'll be "adjusted" and released to his mother.
Juvie court is a joke.

Good grief! Horseloverz is doing great with the stick art again. No more sugar or chocolate for her today!

heatherny2

Dec. 12, 2008, 08:18 PM

:lol::lol::lol:
Thank you HL for such a good laugh. My hubby has no idea why I am laughing right now, but this is what I needed in this otherwise icky week.

equinelaw

Dec. 12, 2008, 08:41 PM

I have maintained my clients innocence from the start. Now we have actual stick art video of the events and an eye witness!

Would stick art lie? This and more information tonight on 20/20 when "Joey"--day 3 of hell" continues. Additional films and stick art will be shown on Nightline at 11.

heatherny2

Dec. 12, 2008, 08:46 PM

I also think I saw Joey on "To Catch a Predator"...he set up a date with the young filly at the barn 2 towns over. He tried to say he was just trotting by....

Bayou Roux

Dec. 12, 2008, 08:49 PM

I thought it was bad when there was a Starbucks on every corner, and in Target, for god's sake, but now they're putting them in horse jails? Sheesh...talk about market saturation...

Drive NJ

Dec. 12, 2008, 09:15 PM

Alex here

I would like to be a friend of the court for my partner in equine Joey Sweety Sugar Wouldn't Melt (never have the chance) Really Nice Guy.

I believe I know the real culprit - DEER

How do I know?

Well it wasn't long ago I was out in my field just passing the time when all of a sudden a bunch of punks in deerskin coats jumped the fence into the field. This Hyeenous Gang threatened me with bodily harm to my brand new sheet if I didn't turn it over to them. When I refused they pulled a blade and ripped the sheet open from shoulder to stifle. As I told my Moms I tried to stop them... there was nothing I could do. Fortunately for me MY Mom(s) are easily snowed erhumpfummm I mean know an innocent face when they see one and believed me.

So Ted and Equinelaw... look for roving gangs of deer in the area... bet you find them. They just said on the news today gangs are active in every part of the country so YOU WATCH OUT... they could be coming for YOUR new blanket or new shoes or halter any time now.

Proud To Be Spotted

Dec. 12, 2008, 10:10 PM

HL of all the stick art you have done, that gets the GOLD MEDAL.

FREE JOEY, FREE JOEY, FREE JOEY.

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Dec. 12, 2008, 10:59 PM

I understand Nancy Grace is dropping the Caylee story in favor of Joey Starbuck.

equinelaw

Dec. 12, 2008, 11:27 PM

I did see a newscast about exploding deer populations. Seems like a deer blowing up could take out some fence too, no?

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Dec. 12, 2008, 11:30 PM

horse-loverz

Dec. 13, 2008, 01:55 AM

Wasn't there a thread about deer jumping the fences? We need an archivist to help find it to shore up our defense.

By the way, I understand that "The View" wants to interview Joey Sweetums My Little Pony.

Well this was origionally posted by Sporthorse Shop..

____________________________________________
___(Private property...darn, I wish I had bought that)
___(deerlorabi stick in the Natural Deermanship class)
___(so it could give me courage to jump this fence)
_________o
________o
_________o_____________
__________ff___|_Private |------|-----|-----|-----|------|
______,___/>___|Property|------|-----|-----|-----|------|
______//_\\________||____...___|_..__|_... _|_..__|__..__|
___________ _ff______.__ff
____________/>________<\
__________("))__________((")
__________/\_\______.___/./\

So the deer would not avoid the fence unless the private property sign was posted.... Because if I remember correctly ...deer do not jump into pastures if they are properly labeled as "private"

So if the property wasn't labeled so that the deer could see to avoid the fence then this could happen ( art is by Perch X off the stick art thread)

_________________________________________ __________
__________________________ -\\/ __________...| Welcome |
___________________________<\___ ,________| to Virginia|
_____________________________||_|\___________ ,,||,,__________

_____________________ -\\/
______________________<\___ ,
_______________________<\ >\________________________

_____________________ -\\/
===||===||___________<\___ ,
===||===||____________<<__\\_______________________

__________\\/
===||===||,\__ ,
===||===||_\\_\\__________________________________ __

See.. this fence wasn't properly labeled as private therefore the fence came down..

I again call for CSI to investigate the scene for Joey Snookums sweetest pony ever.. cause IF THE HOOVES DON'T FIT YOU MUST AQUIT!!!!!

FREE JOEY SNOOKUMS!!!!

Ambrey

Dec. 13, 2008, 02:03 AM

You know, I've been considering an illicit romance with some sort of hardened convict- the type where you get married across the 5" plexiglass and never get to sleep together. He looks like just my type...

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 13, 2008, 10:21 AM

I think the deer did it. With help from some pumas.

horse-loverz

Dec. 13, 2008, 09:16 PM

Has Joey been freed yet or is he still in solitary???

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 13, 2008, 09:34 PM

I think he's been abducted, but not by aliens.

horse-loverz

Dec. 14, 2008, 03:41 AM

______w.|__
__~___/>|<\___~
_.._//__\-|-/___\\

Prince Harry visits Snookums Sweety Pie in jail...

Prince Harry: I tried to bake you a cake but the warden took it...

Joey Snookum Sweety Pie: Darn her.. All I get now is water and a few bread crumbs.. ok maybe it is grain too but I'm positive she's lowered my rations and has quit feeding me the good hay.

Prince Harry: I am going to tell Ted to call the ACLU and see what your rights are.. I know your civil rights have been violated..
_____

DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"

Dec. 14, 2008, 10:09 AM

We are right on it. As Ted's paralegal and peep supplier, and because we know people who are in the ACLU, we spoke to them right away.

We hesitated to bring PETA in on this as we were concerned they'd be upset that the deer were being refused entry to horse pastures and instead be a voice for the prosecutor and not the defendant.

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 15, 2008, 01:56 PM

Hello everyone. As you can see, I'm using a cane for support ... that's how weak and fragile I am since, 'muh accident*'. I think you're all pretty cruel to beat up on me when I am so ill.

I went to see Joey yesterday and was surprised to find him in the Prison yard. Apparently they let him out for a while for some exercise. I could see him testing the fence, and actually he zapped himself a good one—HA! serves him right.

Now, I don't want to hear anything more about Joey being innocent. I was there, I saw this reprobate break fences with little or no concern for the high cost involved. Moreover, when scolded, he DID confess. You may not believe me, but it's true.

Plus, this "Free Joey" nonsense has GOT to stop. I was at work on Saturday, merely keeping a seat warm, when a client pulled around to get some feed. As soon as they saw me they rolled down their windows and shouted "FREE JOEY FREE JOEY FREE JOEY." (true story!) THIS has GOT to stop.

------------------
*cf. the movie, Marnie—Marnie's Mother.

2DogsFarm

Dec. 15, 2008, 04:12 PM

O-Mom:
Relax, take another Prozac and a deep breath
This thing has spiraled out of your control and it will only slow the progress of your recovery if you dwell on it.

Have Faith that the Wheels of Justice will turn - exceedingly slow as they may be - and Joey will be found guilty or acquitted as a jury of his peers sees fit.

come now, repeat along with me:
OooooM OooooooM
Hare Krishna
Hare Rama
OooooooooooooMmmmmmmmmmm

Meanwhile.....
FREE JOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

horse-loverz

Dec. 15, 2008, 04:27 PM

I say the confession was under duress... or close to feeding time with you holding his bucket just out of reach until he agreed to confess to this charges..:winkgrin:

Oh the humanity snooky pooky wookums is getting shocked in his only time of turnout isn't that cruel and unusual???? Glad to see he is out of solitary confinement though.

Free Joey!!!!

Ted the Peep 'Ho

Dec. 15, 2008, 04:48 PM

I agree...the confession was forced and will not hold up in court. After all, he did NOT have his lawyer present.

allpurpose

Dec. 17, 2008, 03:00 PM

Bumping for status on Mr. Starbucks. Has an appeal been made to the Governor?

bf1

Dec. 17, 2008, 03:16 PM

Everybody join in - clapping is optional - "free Joey, free joey - if the hooves don't fit, you must acquit". ..........

2DogsFarm

Dec. 17, 2008, 03:25 PM

Bumping for status on Mr. Starbucks. Has an appeal been made to the Governor?

The Hon R Blagoevich says all bids are welcome :winkgrin:

allpurpose

Dec. 17, 2008, 10:47 PM

The Hon R Blagoevich says all bids are welcome :winkgrin:

:no::no::no::eek::eek::eek:...and that's all I have to say about that!

Oldenburg Mom

Dec. 18, 2008, 08:30 AM

************* U P D A T E *************

RHOADESVILLE, VA — Joey Starbuck has been picked up after an apparent jail-break attempt.

The infamous equine (IE) was suffering from mud to his hoofs when he was taken by police from the environs of Rhoadesville, reports The Daily Hoofbeat.

“We responded to a '10-365,' that's a escaped equine (EE) call. Mr. Starbuck was at a neighbor's house,” Kathy Malarky, a local Police Department spokeswoman, told the Daily Hoofbeat. “Apparently he wandered around, and ended up calling for the mother of his roommate—a 6-month old foal—and was making one helluva racket, which caused the mother to express concern for her youngster. She whinnied for authorities. We responded with a SWAT team, who after an hour-long chase, involving several counties and multiple police jurisdictions, took him back to prison, this time in chains.”

This incident comes just one week after Joey confirmed he had been arrested for breaking and exiting. Charges are pending—stay tuned to CoTH for more updates as this dramatic story unfolds.